User talk:Kakun/archibe1

OMG!

OMG OMG OMG! Hey kakun! You dirty son of a gun! ahh! anyway, I really came here to whore so...hey! I've never even thought to look for you on here! woo this is exciting! The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 17:16, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Join The CMC! Make Your Inner Cow Happy!

Moo, Kakun!

What is it about cows that gets us all hot and bothered? Where do cows come from? What are cows?

These are the questions that drive the Cow Moo Cult and its brethren, who are very, VERY interested in cows and cow by-products.

The CMC is devoted not only to cows, but to helping Uncyclopedia through general acts of goodness and through motivating people with cow-treats and the like.

So, Kakun, why not join the CMC? It's free (unless you count virginity as money) and it's fun (and it's full of clichés)! You'll get a pretty template for your userpage and a nice title for your signature! What could be better? Sign Up Now!

Double moos from your cowy friend,
YTTE(and as the one whoring, Tayor!)

Yes, kakun, even through all your perverted things, we still want you. The cows still won't you. Won't you help us? PLEASE? The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 17:16, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Template:IsraeliUser

This user is Israeli ✡ …along with some angry Jews (List of Israeli Uncyclopedians)

Wa-hey! Free Food!

Shalom! Yum! You've received a basket of delicious fresh bagels from RabbiTechno! Lekhaim! מזל טוב

RabbiTechno 11:23, 29 March 2007 (UTC)

עשיתי כמה שינוים קטנים. אני חושב שעכשיו זה נראה הרבה יותר טוב. אני בהחלט אשתמש בו בשמחה. אבל לפני כן רציתי לשאול אותך מה דעתך עליו, האם אתה רוצה לבצע עוד שינוים. --Rataube 13:23, 3 February 2006 (UTC)

הקטנתי קצת והוספתי מסגרת ~ Kakun · talk 09:02, 4 February 2006 (UTC)

אני מסכים שהדגל היה גדול מדי. הבעיה שזה נראה קצת ריק. אז עכשיו הבלטתי את הכתוביות כדי לטפל בזה.--Rataube 10:56, 4 February 2006 (UTC)

<JewSpeak> I don't speak Hebrew </JewSpeak> --The Zombiebaron 23:09, 17 April 2006 (UTC)
that should have worked...--The Zombiebaron 23:09, 17 April 2006 (UTC)

Al Ha-Zayin

I was asked to rewrite your article on Zayin, so the ז-bomb joke can be understood by eglish speakes. I'll do it, but i recommed you to take a look at it yourself first. The level of the article is pretty low, same with Vannunu. I know you have good intentions, and i usually defend you when someone attaks you on irc. But, achi, don't ashame yourself, work harder on your articles, pics and templats. Take a look at this page, it might help, i found it useful. Sicerely. --Rataube 15:32, 8 Jan 2006 (UTC)

thanks Kakun 15:35, 8 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Vote for me

Nominate and/or vote Rataube as January's Noob of the Month, for his contributions with, articles, editions, manteinance work, and much, much, much more. Or get ready to be eaten by a grue.

--Rataube 22:39, 1 Jan 2006 (UTC)

לא מבין בזה, סורי Kakun 23:16, 1 Jan 2006 (UTC)

פשוט תקליק על זה Uncyclopedia:Noob of the Month

Hi

מצטער שהצבעתי נגד המאמר שהרחבת, יש לזה פוטנציאל אבל לדעתי הוא רחוק מלהיות מאמר משובח על כדי כך שיהיה נכון לפרסם אותו בעמוד הראשי. אני עורך עכשיו מאמר על הסתוריה יהודית, כשאסיים אותו אנסה לתרגם אותו לעברית. זה מאמר די ארוך, אז זה יקחח לי זמן. בכל זאת אני אשמח לשמוע את דעתך עליו. עוד שתי הערות. א. אני מסכים עם אביחי שצריך לחפש מישהו מפורסם להיות האוסקרד ווילד העברי. אם זה לא אדם ידוע שם שנוהגים לצטט ממנו בכל מיני הקשרים לא קשורים כמו במקרה של אוסקרד ווילד זה לא יעבוד כל כך טוב. אולי הרב מלובביץ' מלך המשיח ב. כדאי להיכנס מדי פעם לקטגוריית תוכן זר לא מוכר כדי לאסוף את הערכים העבריים שהולכים לאיבוד ומאוימים במחיקה. הצלתי כמה. לצערי לא ידעתי שיש רשימה של ערכים בעברית אז לא אוספתי אותם. בכל מקרה, כך נוכל להגדיל את הרשימה.

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Category:Unknown Foreign Content

Jewish History

--Rataube 19:21, 1 Jan 2006 (UTC) אהלן

א. אם אתה רוצה להחליף את אניטה פללי אז זה צריך להיות בהצבעה מסודרת בדף הקהילה, אבל הוא סגור עד שהשיפוצים בתחת שלה יסתיימו ולכן זה לא כל כך תלוי בי. תאמין לי שחשבתי על זה, ואין מישהו בארץ, חי או מת, שיותר מתאים לדבר הזה. הרבי מלובביץ'? אתה רוצה שישרפו לי את הבית

ב. לא נשארו הרבה ערכים כאלה, אולי 2-3. הוספתי את הרוב ויש הפניה ברורה מהעמוד הראשי

ג. יש כאן מאמר על אסטוניה שהוא ארוך כמו מגילת אסתר ומצחיק כמו מגילת רות, והוא מאמר מומלץ. אני לא חושב שזה פחות טוב

ד. תמשיך ככה Kakun 19:36, 1 Jan 2006 (UTC)

אהלן א. אם נמשיך לפי הדגם האנגלי האיןציקלופדיה תהיה בכל זאת מלאה בכפירות, העולם הבא כבר חסום מאיתנו ונעלה באש גם בעולם הזה. אז הרבי מלובביץ' בסדר מהבחינה הזאת. ב. נכון מה שאמרת על אסטוניה, אבל התקדים אינו תירוץ לאפשר מחדלים נוספים בעתיד.

)

--Rataube 20:22, 1 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Reminder

Just a reminder, Hebrew language pages should be prefixed with He:, So המדריך_למתחילים should actually be located at He:המדריך_למתחילים (that way we can easily keep the langauges sorted). Cheers. --Splaka 07:46, 5 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Thank you very much. I'm on it. Kakun 07:55, 5 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Joining

החלטתי להצטרף למיזם החשוב הזה גם כן ;-)

אליבאבא 08:55, 6 Dec 2005 (UTC) ברוך הבא, תרגיש בבית Kakun 17:02, 6 Dec 2005 (UTC)

he:קצב אלגוריתמי

Restored as requested. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me) Thanks. Kakun 17:23, 6 Dec 2005 (UTC)

אני חושב ש...

עדיף שלא להשתמש באניטה פללי חפש מישהו קצת יותר מוכר. וגם - מתי הם נותנים לנו דומיין משלנו?

Avichai 18:55, 8 Dec 2005 (UTC)

כל מה שאני יודע בינתיים זה שבדומיין הגרמני יש 700 ומשהו ערכים. צריך לחכות שתהיה תשתית של 50 ומשהו ערכים, אחרת לדעתי הגשת הצעה לא תהיה רצינית. אניטה פללי מושלמת לפי דעתי, אני הולך לכתוב עליה ערך ארוך מאוד. לא כדאי לבחור מישהו שנפטר או מישהו מפורסם שחי כי יהיו בעיות. עם פללי לא יהיו בעיות, אני מבטיח לך Kakun 19:06, 8 Dec 2005 (UTC)

העברה

הי, יצרתי את הערך קרית ביאליק ורק אז ראיתי שכל הערכים בערית צריכים להיות עם התחילית He.

משום מה המערכת לא נותנת לי לשנות את שמו שם הדף, אז אשמח אם תוכל לעשות זאת, כדי שלא יימחק. Zoltan 08:28, 10 Dec 2005 (UTC)

סחתיין על הערך

אי אפשר להעביר כאן שום דבר, צריך להעתיק ולפתוח ערך חדש ואז הם מפנים בעצמם

תוסיף עוד משהו כדי שיראו שאתה כתבת את זה Kakun 09:38, 10 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Your own wiki

I talked to Chron (the founder here) about the hebrew section. He says if you want to format things how you like, it might be time to start your own wikicity. Uncyclopedia has 4 sister projects in other languages:

• Desencyclopedie Français
• Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch
• Nonsensopedia Polski
• Nonciclopedia Italiano

And 3 of them are hosted on Wikicities (which is our host too). You can ask them to start a hebrew language uncyclopedia, and if they accept, you could copy and use the .css formatting from he.wikipedia.org properly, as well as have the language set to hebrew by default. Angela (the one who decides on accepting/rejecting new wikicities) is off for a few days, so be thinking about it and reading up on the process if you are interested. Cheers. --Splaka 06:01, 11 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Thank you, It will be a bit sad but I'll probably do it. But do realy you think 15 articles and 2-3-4 hebrew uncyclopedians are enough for a whole city? Kakun 06:08, 11 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Sexual Content

Be sure to tag any adult pictures you upload with {{NSFWImage}}, and any adult articles you write with {{NSFWArticle}}. Thanks. -- T. (talk) 20:01, 22 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Articled Clerk

Just replied to your message on my talk page to let you know I'd NRV'd it, but it looks like its been CVP'd by another Admin. I'll find out who did what first, if mine takes precidence then you've got a seven day period to sort the page out. :) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Image for Holocaust article

I think that you need to find an image more in the style of the current article. The article is contains references to modern mid-twentieth century mathematics and politics. A good black and white image of a mathematician or physicist from the forties or fifties would work better. --Sir KP GUN 22:47, 2 Jan 2006 (UTC)

I picked this because of the mathematical name. Should I make it black & white? Kakun 22:49, 2 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Read the article carefully. A black and white photo of the comedian Jon Stewart as a professor would work best. Not all mathematics is the same. --Sir KP GUN 06:51, 3 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Blur'd Vision

Hey Kakun....love your idea for the Blur image.....if you get it right that'll be a really good one. :) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Thanx. I'm just afraid that the American admins will delete this because they doesn't know what the fuck the other meaning of blur is... Kakun 16:02, 4 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Oh, thanks, becuase we don't know the english language? Anyway, I have some suggestions on how to improve it. Use PNG, not JPG, as the compression kills the crispness of it. Also, The only thing that should be on the page at this point is the image, so if you have any other additions, add them into the image, and not the page.--Sir Flammable KUN (Na Naaaaa...) 16:05, 4 Jan 2006 (UTC)

But part of the joke is that Graham Coxon isn't Blur'd anymore... See what I mean about Americans and the Blur anthology? Kakun 16:08, 4 Jan 2006 (UTC)

It's not that. I think that adding that link ruins the aesthetics of the page. I'd suggest adding it into the image, or finding a way to make the break seem less sudden. Start working on the PNG so the background isn't blotchy. That'll help too, as then, we can't see the border of the picture against the background. As much as the blurring is neat, a sloppy image looks too unprofessional.

--Sir Flammable KUN (Na Naaaaa...) 16:14, 4 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Never mind. You got the PNG. Let's see how it turns out.--Sir Flammable KUN (Na Naaaaa...) 16:17, 4 Jan 2006 (UTC)

I want Coxon linked, I think it's kinda perfect as it is. Someone please delete all the Blur images except Blur_Article.PNG. ---Kakun 16:19, 4 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Alright. That's why i suggested we play aroudnw ith the formatting so it looks good. I fixed it proper. I think it works now. Grats.--Sir Flammable KUN (Na Naaaaa...) 16:25, 4 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Oh lord no

Stop. Stop. STOP. That eardrum... Is that you're 10th VFP Self-Nomination? And how many of those nominations have made it to the front page? I didn't think so. Listen, I think that the admins would agree with me if I said you should run all images that you want in VFP through the admins first. That way, we can keep crap off VFP :) officer designate Lugiatm MUN NS CM ZM WH 15:27, 5 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Kakun, congratulations on been awarded your own space on VFP - Uncyclopedia:VFP/Kakuns_Place. It is an honour that no one before you has been granted.....I'm pretty sure you should get some sort of award too..... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

As Mhaille said, I've made you a present. Just for you. Nominate to your heart's content. Just keep off the main page, mmkay? KATIE!! 15:49, 5 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the lovely ghetto. I understand Hitlerbear is your official VFP watchdog. Kakun 15:55, 5 Jan 2006 (UTC)

If I take a look at your special VFP page, I come to the conclusion that Hitlerbear is indeed better than anything you have ever made. Ever. officer designate Lugiatm MUN NS CM ZM WH 16:01, 5 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Lug, you're right. Kate, I'm sorry. I was just kidding. Kakun 16:06, 5 Jan 2006 (UTC)

stop

אחי, תפסיק לפרסם תמונות גרועות ולהעמיד אותם כמועמדות לאתר הראשי. אני לא יודע עם זה מן בדיחה או שאתה חושב שהן באמת טובות, אבל עם אתה ככה חושב, לפחות ידוע לך שאתה בדעת יחיד. באמת תפסיק, מתעצבנים עליך, בסוף יחרימו אותך, אני אומר להם שאתה יסדת את האיןציקלופדיה ומגיע לך כבוד, אבל גם זה לא יעזור. --Rataube 22:01, 5 Jan 2006 (UTC) אין בעיה. איך אתה אומר להם, באימייל

Kakun 22:04, 5 Jan 2006 (UTC)

irc http://irc.wikicities.com/irc.cgi --Rataube 22:49, 5 Jan 2006 (UTC)

יאעסרעאעעייל

I have to congratulate you on יאעסרעאעעייל. That made me crack up. —Simetrical (talk • contribs) 23:29, 5 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Thanks. If you're Israeli or at least from Yiddishland, you can open a user page with this:

This user is Israeli ✡ …along with some angry Jews (List of Israeli Uncyclopedians)

Regarding Mirror writing

I don't know how much you're planning to expand this article, but if it's not a great amount you might consider adding the content to Aidepolcycnu instead. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 14:58, 7 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Thanks. What about elcitra? Sea also, right? Kakun 15:01, 7 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Yeah, I guess. Although that one makes my eyes start bleeding. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 15:05, 7 Jan 2006 (UTC)

=]

Could you please come talk to us? There are things we'd like to discuss. Thanks! --KATIE!! 00:33, 8 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Worst 100 etc.

Someone else rolled back your edit, so I assumed it wasnt of good quality. Thus I rolled back your edit --Nytrospawn 18:22, 12 Jan 2006 (UTC)

AARRGGHH

Please, for the LOVE OF GOD tidy up your userpage. I had no idea where to put your new NinjastarSe.cx --officer designate Lugiatm MUN NS CM ZM WH 20:08, 19 January 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the star man, Kakun 03:56, 20 January 2006 (UTC)

I made you a present.

Yep.

Someone had to do it. --KATIE!! 07:22, 9 February 2006 (UTC)

Thank you very much, it's beautiful. ~ Kakun · talk 08:07, 9 February 2006 (UTC)

Happy Birthday

Hope you have a good one. --KATIE!! 12:51, 14 February 2006 (UTC)

Thanks Keitei, you too. ~ Kakun · talk 13:47, 16 February 2006 (UTC)

Wise voter

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Welcome Back!

Long time, no see......good to see you back. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Thanks, good 2cu2, been busy ~ Kakun · talk 19:37, 11 March 2006 (UTC)

An award for you

This was made in honor of my computer struggles, and I think you deserve one, too. Here's to you, 1227 brother!

--<<>> 07:56, 25 March 2006 (UTC)

thanks for those. ~ Kakun · talk 12:42, 25 March 2006 (UTC)

Nice pic

Hey dude. Nice Oasis cover art. MS Paint rules.--Hindleyite Talk 17:54, 8 May 2006 (UTC)

Thanks. -- VFP Eincyc (talk) 18:03, 8 May 2006 (UTC)

Bass_player.JPG featured

Thanks, Kakun! Without your idea the pic wouldn't have been such a hit.

Just another thing - you mentioned in the IRC chatroom that you couldn't afford commercial image manipulation software and had to use "regular s___". Well, here's your saviour:

"GIMP is the GNU Image Manipulation Program. It is a freely distributed piece of software for such tasks as photo retouching, image composition and image authoring. It works on many operating systems, in many languages."

Click here to download the Windows version of GIMP. Hope this will lead you to some great achievements.

-- The Colonel (talk) 17:46, 12 August 2006 (UTC)

Congratulations & thanks. -- VFP Eincyc (talk) 18:15, 12 August 2006 (UTC)

VFP

Thanks for the vote. You just helped fulfill one of the more obscure prophecies in the Book o' Revelations.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 04:55, 20 August 2006 (UTC)

Who's Afwaid of a Widdle Apokowips?

When the end comes, remember, it's all your fault

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Thanks

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Shalom, you bitch!

I was telling my dad the other day how amused you are by Shalom, you bitch... he was very amused.

Sperm gun

Kakun, I was just wondering what the 'gay' template on this article I created means. It has been there for a while, but I have only decided to ask you now. I would also like your opinion on how to improve it, as I fear it may be VFD'd.--Airbag 12:32, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

You can take it off. and it's too long to get vfd'd if you ask me. -- VFP Eincyc (talk) 18:42, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

Dosen't matter, it looks nice.--Airbag 02:49, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

Jewish Template

If you don't mind I'll take off the Putz who stole hanuka from the Jewish template. If there's something that is not Jewish here -it is this. Ok with you? -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 20:24, 29 October 2006 (UTC)

It's about Jewish humour, not actual Jewish stuff. like mel gibson. but take it off if you must. -- VFP Eincyc (talk) 20:29, 29 October 2006 (UTC)

I certainly don't have to, but this is not Jewish humor in my book, it's just something that has the words "Jew" and "Matza" on it....Mel Gibson, now that's funny :) -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 20:32, 29 October 2006 (UTC)

your sig

it's leaving html everywhere. in the user profile bit of your preferences in the nickname field you need to put . then you need to create en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Kakun/sig2 and save it as {{SUBST:User:Kakun/sig}}

if that's helpful then you're welcome. if it's incomprehensible or borks your sig then i was never here :|

- jack mort | cunt | talk - 20:20, 25 November 2006 (UTC)

Thanks, but what do you mean by "create"? -- VFP Eincyc (talk) 22:23, 25 November 2006 (UTC)

like make be, edit into existance - jack mort | cunt | talk - 00:50, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

like this? uncyclopedia.org/wiki/User:Kakun/sig2 -- VFP Eincyc (talk) 11:42, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

yes

lets see ~ Kakun · talk 03:11, 28 November 2006 (UTC)

nice work *cake* - jack mort | cunt | talk - 19:55, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

Xmas

Premier Tom Mayfair does not share in your pagan ways. Nor does he celebrate capitalist retail. He hopes that you convert to Communism before it's too late. Do the right thing. Пролетарии всех стран, соединяйтесь!

|

23:19, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

Bradaphraser was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and realised they had purposefully forgotten about you. This user is completely thoughtless, doesn't care about Multi-culturalism, and therefore DEMANDS you have yourself a Merry little Christmas... NOW! Failure to comply with result in disciplinary action up to and including excommunication from the Capitalist Church

May you focus on your successes and forget your failures here at the end of the year. Never forget how we all improve one another's lives. Season's Greetings. (I only have the one template, so pretend this is talking about Hannukah instead. Actually, you may prefer to pretend it's those jiggling breasts... ;) )--<<>> 17:35, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

Thank you and Have a mary Xmas. ~ Kakun · talk 20:29, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me! the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!

Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 23:30, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Mordillo is a bloody Jew and therefore believes that Xmas is plain silly, Jesus was a nice Jewish boy with some weird ideas, Santa is an old drunk and socks are meant to be put on your cold smelly feet. However, since it's not your fault for being born to the wrong nation, you might as well enjoy a very HAPPY HANUKKAH and rejoice, for once again the Greeks had one coming. Only 4.5 months left till Passover, start looking for Christian kids for the preparation of the Matzo Bread!

image

Hi, I'm deleting unused images. Is this one something you want to keep? Thanks -- sannse (talk) 20:15, 29 April 2007 (UTC)

<FMU>

CONGRATULATIONS! You make little girls cry. Sliferjam awards you a little girl to do with what you wish. This has been a presentation of the To Catch A Pedophile Predator series.

so sayeth Sliferjam ~ Talk * Sock * Jam * Gallery * Fearless Fosdick? 17:11, 19 June 2007 (UTC)

It's that time of year

Rabbi Techno presents you with One Imperial Gallon of Lamp Oil! Should see you through the next week or so without having to resort to any supernatural shenanigans. Happy Hanukkah!

thanks, Happy Hanukkah. ~ Kakun · talk 20:31, 3 December 2007 (UTC)

Bloody Jews

Pagans, the Whole Lot of Yous Premier Tom Mayfair has been a naughty boy this year, but he still deserves a kiss from under the mistletoe. His external organ is fair game.

PLZ vote on New Israeli Flag

There is a vote on a new israeli flag for the article on Israel, Please vote!
Oren neu dag 02:31, 18 February 2008 (UTC)

Your image has been upgraded

Doesn't it look menancing?

Some elements that you might of wanted might not be there but I think it looks more professional and menancing. Tell me what you think. --Nekami 18:02, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

Thanks. It could be more goatsie I think, if you wouldn't remove her hips. ~ Kakun · talk 18:04, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

Delivery

U haz a userspacing! Bam! -RAHB 19:08, 23 October 2008 (UTC)

no u ~ Kakun · talk 12:40, 14 November 2008 (UTC)

Happy Hanukkah

PARTY LIKE IT'S 5769

if you're not Jewish, party anyway

Happy Hanukkah from Rabbi Techno
NOW START DRINKING

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Happy Holidays

Happy Pagan Holiday from Tayor .

Actually, Yule was the 21st. But, uh, the Christian Christmas is a capitalistic farce, so, uh, hah. Long live the original!
And I am SO not a heathen.

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loves! The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 20:05, 23 December 2008 (UTC)

Purim

Mad Mike "Moishe" Tyson does it, so you should too!

Yes - it's Purim already, so be like
Mike and eat some ears today!

It's the only time of year when being a Jew is fun!
Chag Purim Sameach from Rabbi Techno

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Pesach

What a pain in the arse.

It's Matzo Constipation time once again!

Try being vegan too. 8 days of potato kugel. Great.

Chag Pesach Sameach
From Rabbi Techno

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Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Guildensternenstein

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Award from UN:REQ

This user created Thrash metal, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. You're welcome!

This user created Not, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. You're welcome!

Rosh Hashanah

Insert Joke About Rabbis and The Horn Here

Have a happy 5770, full of honey and other stuff that probably
wouldn't have been kosher if we'd thought about it more.
from Rabbi Techno
L'shanah tovah

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The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball

How do i create a different page in my userspace and submit it to the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball contest much appreciated if you'd tell me thanks

You first give yourself a username, for example User:LadyGaga, and then create a page like this: User:LadyGaga/The Aristocrats. ~ Kakun · talk 19:41, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

IMPORTANT: Summons

Drop by the office if you're interested.

It's come to the attention of the new Uncyclopedia Legal Department that you are among the finest examples of...whatever we're looking for. We'd like you to work for our Department as a legal consultant, with scope for friendship, maybe more for future promotion and job titles/opportunites. And there'll be kids running around naked, fuckin' in the bushes. Whoremonal 12:19, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

Wow. Sounds good. Count me out. ~ Kakun · talk 21:23, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

Oh go on. We need Jew! Whoremonal 21:29, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

OK, but I'll probably won't do anything. Unless someone tries to fuck with Mr. Bungle again. ~ Kakun · talk 21:34, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

Dun reviewing

Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Holocaust film -- Style  Guide 08:44, December 5, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks, very insightful. ~ Kakun · talk 20:43, December 8, 2009 (UTC)

Cheers!

YOUR REGISTRATION WAS SUCCESSFUL

In accordance with the Uncyclopedia Legal Department, I hereby verify your membership. You are now legally official and stuff.  ^{23:05, December 6, 2009 (UTC)}

~ Zana Dark, Head of Department  

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Cool beans. ~ Kakun · talk 20:44, December 8, 2009 (UTC)

חג שמח

"It's a fucking miracle!"

says Mrs. Sadie Goldstein of Manchester, UK

Introducing YOU to the revolutionary new
Rabbi Techno Industries™ KLEIN OLIVE OIL BOTTLE™
By turning a standard olive oil bottle into a simple two-dimensional manifold non-orientable surface,
Rabbi Techno Industries have created an olive oil bottle which stores oil both inside and outside the glass.
Store enough oil for 8 days while appearing to only have enough for a single day easily with Rabbi Techno Industries™!
"It's not miraculous - it's mathematics!™"

Mystify your friends/the Seleucid Empire and have a Happy Hanukkah™!

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Same to you. ~ Kakun · talk 21:13, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

Newb Proposal

UN:LEGAL Legal Department Has happily summoned you to review "The Proposal". “Crede Quia Absurdum Est.” ~ Oscar Wilde

I, User:Happytimes, have been giving this new-fangled Unlegal department some of my best thoughts lately. Some things have come to mind... (Lawyers speak in third person right?) Ahem, ~H~ *CA* lack of organization, *CA* no legal dictionary set-up yet, *CA* lack of significant pay for ~H~. See summons if it be to please you.

Hey, you voted for my article on VFH and helped make it a feature.

8===========D~ ~ ~ ~O:

And I'm too lazy to make a proper template for it. Thanks! sausage lol 19:03, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Yom tov

Chag Purim Sameach 5770!

(Note: "5770" refers to the calories you will consume with each meal over the next two days)

You can call them Haman's pockets,
You can call them Haman's hat.
But don't kid yourself...
You're eating human ears, you freak.
(And the police are on their way.)

This cheery yom tov message has been brought to you by
Rabbi Techno

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A Ten Minute Thanks

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

YOUR SUPPORT IS GREATLY APPRECIATED!

[guitar solo]

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:19, March 3, 2010 (UTC)

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Pesach 5770

It's Pass-Nothing time once again!

eight whole days surviving on cardboard and kugel

Christians get chocolate at this time of year, you know.
Amazing who people will accept as moshiach just to get out of eating all that matzah.

Chag Pesach Sameach!
From Rabbi Techno

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Same for you. ~ Kakun · talk 18:39, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

תודה! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:41, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

Hi there!

I decided to come back because there was work left undone. I set this up and was hoping you would join the force. I like your writing style and ideas (as per holocaust film) - you would make a great addition to our little truth-twisting practices. Check it out - and ask me questions if you feel even the slightest urge to do stuff for SoS but something seems to be missing. -- Style  Guide 18:59, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks man. Good idea, I'll get to that maybe. ~ Kakun · talk 20:43, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

By my counting, 4-5 active contributors are enough to keep the spirit up. There are now 2 - I and User:Somdomite, who is new - but not new to writing. Sorry, Necropaxx and Romartus are also doing stuff. Happytimes will probably join in later. -- Style  Guide 20:50, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

Yes man - I re-read Holocaust film and I'll hang myself if you don't join SoS. -- Style  Guide 05:49, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

A Git Shabbes

Good to see I'm not the only one breaking the laws re. melakhot today. Anyway - just wanted to say Shabbat shalom and I hope you had a good Shavuot. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:41, May 22, 2010 (UTC)

Git Shabbes to you too. ~ Kakun · talk 10:46, May 22, 2010 (UTC)

And

...what are you doing? Long time no see....hope things are all just groovy with you... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

All is fine, thanks, how is Your Mhailleness? ~ Kakun · talk 11:58, September 30, 2010 (UTC)

I'm just groovy.....out making my way in the world. Noticed you've uploaded one of your tasteful images for your new article...its looking good.. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Thanks. ~ Kakun · talk 12:18, September 30, 2010 (UTC)

News about TAW

Hi. I haven't heard from either of the two judges so I'm trying to get a consensus from the participants on what to do. At this point, there are three options.

1. Wait for the two last judges to score the categories.
2. Judge the entries as is without the third judge.
3. Enlist two new judges as replacements.

Or as a last resort I could judge them myself. I'm really sorry about the wait and I'm trying to resolve this as quickly as possible. Thanks for your patience. :) MadMax 08:26, October 19, 2010 (UTC)

I'm for the last resort. ~ Kakun · talk 21:07, October 21, 2010 (UTC)

Bresson

Good to meet you, I don't believe I've had the pleasure, which is all mine. Overacting redirected to James T. Kirk, nice. Ah, Bresson, a fine subtle page (the last two entires aren't in bold, after discussing and linking to bold). Is Keanu Reeves random, or does he work in Bresson's style? The progression is very interesting, and shows the boringness of the takes quite well, although more are probably needed as Bresson wouldn't stop with so few. There are a of couple film buffs here, Matfen and Black flamingo11, who will likely enjoy the page as you mean to deliver it. Came by mainly to see if Reeves was random, which is a random reason to stop by, which is all mine. Aleister 10:04 27 11

Hello, thanks. The joke is that Keanu Reeves would be the perfect Bresson actor. Bresson hated acting so much he once gave the leading part to a donkey without acting experience. It's also a tribute to the ending of the South Park episode "Best Friends Forever". ~ Kakun · talk 19:05, November 27, 2010 (UTC)

Ah, I saw the donkey film, can't remember the name. The girl who befriends the donkey and vica versa was, if I recall, a total unknown that Bresson found and gave her an entire film with very limited speaking parts. I am one of the vandals who has graffitied your page since I wrote the above. If I had some paint left I'd splash it over this talk page and then laugh while watching (and filming!) you cleaning it up. Aleister 20:48 27 11

I used your idea for Take 17, Thanks for that. ~ Kakun · talk 23:43, November 27, 2010 (UTC)

Latke time again!

Ways in which the world could have been much better

a Chanukah sermon from Rabbi Techno

Having successfully rebelled against the Seleucid Empire, the Maccabees decided to go on an almighty piss-up to celebrate.
When they checked the fridge, they were dismayed to discover that they only had enough beer to last for one single day.
However, a great miracle happened there. G-d made the beer last for eight days,
enough time for the Maccabees to go to the off-licence and buy more.
from Rabbi Techno
Now let's go down the pub to celebrate.

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Chanukah sameach :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:58, November 29, 2010 (UTC)

Recent UnNews template

Please don't adjust the Recent UnNews template. Also, adjusting the Recent UnNews template to squeeze in your own story turns you into an ass. Literally. Only do this between the 4th and 5th act of Midsummer Night's Dream. And only if you're playing Bottom. And even then, don't do it. ~  Talk 03:32, 26 May 2011 (UTC)

Also, I userspaced your article. It was not an easy decision; I kind of liked what you were saying with it, but it looks as if you put it together in 10 seconds and that makes UnNews look bad. If you could add to it and make it look more like a parody of actual news, that would be awesome and would warrant a spot back on the project. Thanks! ~  Talk 03:53, 26 May 2011 (UTC)

Humbucker, the pic was used as an UnNews the last time the volcano in Iceland went off. I'd suggest linking the entire caption on the small pic in this article to that page, and then putting it back where Kakun put it (with the title Bjork farts again). Aleister 4:21 26-5-'11

TheHumbucker, the minimalism is what makes the article, I think. Maybe after Aleister's edit you might want to move it back to main space? About the Recent UnNews template, sorry, innocent mistake. ~ Kakun · talk 10:17, May 26, 2011 (UTC)

I also support moving the article back to where it was. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 10:27, May 26, 2011 (UTC)

Kakun? Innocent? Mistake? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Seeing as it's apparently again and there was apparently already an article on apparently exactly that, apparently implemented as apparently exactly that, why, exactly, do we need another? Forgive me if I'm misinterpreting, but... eh? 1234 ~ 12:54, 26 May 2011

RealNews item: The volcano that exploded in MMX has exploded again, spewing ash across Iceland and Europe, once again disrupting air traffic and causing eye problems in minors. So...again! Aleister, your roving reporter moments later

History doesn't need to be explained. It needs to be understood. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 13:09, May 26, 2011 (UTC)

Or we are doomed to repeat it. As in this case. Aleister 13:27 26-5-'11

/me makes passing reference to the opping of Chief and Lyrithya. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 13:30, May 26, 2011 (UTC)

Ah, so a source would have explained that one... but okay, that makes more sense. 1234 ~ 13:35, 26 May 2011

I added a source and changed the caption, I think it's actually much better. Thanks. ~ Kakun · talk 03:47, May 27, 2011 (UTC)

• Welcome back Kakun! -- The Zombiebaron 07:44, May 27, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks man. ~ Kakun · talk 07:47, May 27, 2011 (UTC)

Slight Return?

...from the original Voodoo Child? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

....Hello Sir. Tom Waits is featured.. so perhaps? ~ Kakun · talk 14:07, 2 September 2016 (UTC)

Welcome back! Again! Question mark?

I took care of your article on VFD. I was going to tell you to move these things to qvfd in the future, but our admins are all lazy asses and some can't even be arsed to log in. -- Kippy the Elf Talk Works ☃ 06:38, Dec. 18, 2016

Thanks a lot (: ~ Kakun · talk 06:47, 18 December 2016 (UTC)

By the way, I saw your Gremlins UnNews. Gremlins happens to be a Christmas movie. I was wondering if that fact influenced you to write about gremlins, or is that just a coincidence?

I actually referenced Gizmo in an UnNews I wrote the other day. I've been writing several Christmas-themed UnNews articles this year as part as an on-going story arc. I'm going to reference your Gremlins piece in a future article a few days from now. That means you'll be a part of this little universe I've created. :P -- Kippy the Elf Talk Works ☃ 10:47, Dec. 18, 2016

I think Gremlins is a Xmas movie from the Grinch angle... Maybe Xmas brings out the Grinch in me. ~ Kakun · talk 12:10, 18 December 2016 (UTC)

You're right. The Christmas setting is used in that movie simply as a contrast to all the horror going on. And for what it's worth, my Christmas articles are so incredibly irreverent that almost anti-Christmas. I indulge my reverence towards the holiday with irreverence. -- Kippy the Elf Talk Works ☃ 20:27, Dec. 18, 2016

Kind of like me and Björk. ~ Kakun · talk 07:20, 19 December 2016 (UTC)

Nobody welcomed me!

( 3Yfq9Vo38E 03:38, 10 December 2017 (UTC)

Welcome to the site, Acataua! :) ~ Kakun · talk 07:02, 10 December 2017 (UTC)