User:Happytimes/Legal Department/Case Log Proposal

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Hello[edit | edit source]

In creating a method to "seal" a complaint once legal proceedings have commenced I've created a legal shorthand for page creation that I think we can slide on over to our legalese (court reporting, etc.) with little effort.

Shorthand Example: Multiliteralist *CA* not getting paid. Happytimes *CA* ~M~ making more than ~H~. ~M~ *CA* ~H~ using his signature.

Longhand Example: Multiliteralist complains about not getting paid. Happytimes complains about Multiliteralist making more than Happytimes. Multiliteralist complains about Happytimes using his signature.

Then I really started thinking on how a case should move from birth to death and I've written the notes below. (I apologize if this gets less detailed as I continue but I'm tired and we're still building the process, yes?)

GENESIS OF A CASE:[edit | edit source]

Here are some notes I steampunked together for consideration.

User finds Uncyclopedia Legal Department by chance, or one of our (re)directing templates.

User decides to file a complaint on Uncyclopedia Legal Department/Complaints.

1.) Any other users who are parties of interest receive a legal summons template on their talk page so they may respond.

UN:LEGAL Legal Department

Has summoned you to defend yourself against "You suck".

“Crede Quia Absurdum Est.”
~ Oscar Wilde

(This is different than the reader summons template placed on article pages.) The Uncyclopedia Legal Department/Summons page will be grand explanation on summons which also refers the users back to their summons notice for redirection; in this case, to the complaints department page.

Note: I think we should have a tiny summons template (much like our "This User is" userboxes which redirects them to a summons page with a full explanation.

Summoned User(s) and initial user correspond on the complaints page until the thread is played out or becomes too angsty. At this point it is considered (mostly) finished and several things happen:

Note: When creating new pages they must be professionally created^A using proper shorthand^C techniques whenever possible.

2.) Legally-Seal^B the argument.

2a) Copy the segment of the complaints page containing the argument into a new page. Use the subheading from the complaints page as part of the title; ie: The subheading from the complaints page was, "Paid Adversement," which became: Uncyclopedia Legal Department/Complaints/Paid Adversement. Using the <noinclude></noinclude> tags add a link back to the complaints page above the text and a synopsis of the argument below it. Note: The synopsis of the argument should be used in the page creation. Be sure to add this page to the proper category as well.^[1]

2b) Replace the argument text on the complaints page with the sealed reference template link: {{:Uncyclopedia_Legal_Department/Complaints/Paid_Adversement}}

3.) Create a Casefile page; ie: Uncyclopedia Legal Department/Case:Happytimes vs Multiliteralist.

3a) Begin by inserting the proper Unlegal template at the top of the page followed by a new heading for the synopsis of the case from the point of view of the legal department (which in this case calls for affidavits from the interested parties).

3b) Next create a new heading and insert the argument text on the casefile page with the sealed reference template in quotes: {{cquote| {{:Uncyclopedia_Legal_Department/Complaints/Paid_Adversement}} }}.

3c) Third, create a new (affidavit) heading for the interested parties to respond to/in.

Send out a second summons to users for the casefile page to obtain user affidavits.

Summoned User(s) and initial user correspond on the casefile page until the thread is played out or becomes too angsty.

4.) Close casefile page (with closed heading) and proceed to court...

5. etc.

6. Write the session transcript.

7. Publish everything left over.

Genesis Of A Case: pages referenced:[edit | edit source]

Legal Dictionary?[edit | edit source]

A[edit | edit source]

A Professionally Created page: is a page whose initial sole content is a brief description of what the page will be when the page's "Save Page" button is pressed for the first time, or alternatively, prefacing text within the Summary box at the bottom of the page with the following text: Created page with ' when the page's "Save Page" button is pressed for the first time. (When creating the initial description accepted legal shorthand should be used whenever possible.) This allows a nice synopsis to be seen by the viewer when they look into the history of the article; thereafter edits to the page will be as normal.

B[edit | edit source]

A Sealed Page: is a page created from material (a segment) of the Original Page (OP). The content of which is used specifically to be ported to the OP in the manner of a template. This transplanted material is set aside from the OP to protect users (and prevent newer-users) from inadvertently editing it. This method servers to show that this particular block of text should not ordinarily edited as it now has been built into a case & gone to court.

ie: {{:Uncyclopedia_Legal_Department/Complaints/Paid_Adversement}} which returns the following text only (Light blue area added for effect):

I complain against the fact that I'm not actually paid for editing Uncyclopedia. I know nobody else is paid either, but it's me I'm talking about here!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?? In fact I suspect somebody else is being paid. Guildy is so productive he might be! THERE IS NO JUSTICE IN THE WORLD. -- Style Guide 09:43, December 8, 2009 (UTC)

I'd like to complain that Style

Guide makes more money than I do for editing Uncyclopedia! When will the endless legal fees stop?!? (Seriously though, why aren't you getting paid the two bits that Syndrome and I are?) ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*

(talk) (stalk) Π ~

~ 05:14, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

I complain that you used my signature Happytimes! -- Style

Guide Date/time (UTC)

ie: {{cquote| {{:Uncyclopedia_Legal_Department/Complaints/Paid_Adversement}} }} which returns the following (text only) in quotes (Light blue area added for effect):

“