Undictionary:s

	Welcome to the Undictionary, an ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid.
	A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z *

Sacagawea dollar coin

A nearly worthless goldish coin, used mainly to trick youths into thinking that they have a valuable pirate coin, and for a cheap way to weigh down the shoes of "wise-guys". Available as a novelty at most lesser flea markets for about €0.80 cents, it'll turn your hands green if you hold one for too long.

Sack lunch

A euphemism for a highly portable snack often carried by guys in their pants, not to be ingested by people with lactose intolerance.

Sack o' Crap

A bag of worthless bits and pieces usually won at those impossible-to-win carnival games.

Sack Race

• 1.Rub your self.
• 2.Another way of describing the 100 metres with male athletes clad in lycra.

Saddo Masochist

Autograph hunter who will stand out in the rain for the chance to breathe the same air exhaled by a 'celebrity'.

Sad Nav

Short for Saddo Navigation. A piece of high tech kit which allows you to avoid anyone interesting to find the social misfit of your dreams.

Sahara Desert

1.Originally named "Sahara Dessert", a variety of cake that is more commonly known as Sandkuchen (Sand cake). 2. The Wettest place on Earth.

Sakurasexual

A rare form of sexual deviant who is monogamous to the point of insanity.

St Kevin's College Toorak

An APS school with high achievers in academic results.

Sakatasexual

A rare form of sexual deviant who can only reach climax whilst eating rice crackers. Also known as sa-ka-ta-sexual.

Sales

The art of convincing someone that your junk or time is more valuable than theirs, and that they absolutely must spend their money on it.

Saline

1. Incorrect spelling of sailing
2. Pertaining to, descriptive of, or containing saltbax.

Saltine crackers

Scottish word for heavily bearded Belgian pirates. OR Another word for a tan rodent.

Sally Christmas

An Historical Figure that plied the rivers of middle America in the days of yore. Ten feet tall, she could floss her teeth with skinny white mean. African-Acadian by nature, she naturally was good at Uno. She was undefeated in Uno, attack Uno, Jenga Uno but not with Uno, New Kids on the Block Edition.

Salmonella

A really awful Australian sandwich spread.

Sam

Sam is a funny name. Sing it out loud. Aren't you happy? You don't have a funny name like "Sam"

Sam Hildestad

An annoying teen actor born on June 1, 1995 (the same birthday as Marilyn Monroe. He has acted in many idiotic things, such as Pokemon, Shorts, and Shake It Up. (WHAT KIND OF NAME FOR A TV SHOW IS THAT?!)

Sandbox

A box, filled with quicksand, which annoying unwanted neighbourhood children wander into, from which they never escape. Its also a useful alternative for cats that need to relieve themselves and deposit interesting treasures. Some of these treasures may include poop, jewels, crack.

Uncyclopedia:Sandbox is one such example.

Sanitary Pad

A residence, domicile or other housing unit that is kept extremely clean, whether for a limited or extended period. Example: Martha Stewart's prison cell.

Sanity Clause

The big fat git in red who sneaks down people's chimneys and steals all the kids' favourite toys once a year, asking if they'll be good next year, while making off with the household's supply of sweets (mainly cookies) and milk.

Santa Clause

A crazy pedophile who breaks into your home on a specific date and leaves "packages" under tree. He watches your kids while they sleep and enslaves midgets to do his bidding he knows this by putting in cameras in your house that are very tiny which are everywhere in the bedroom in the bathroom and in the place where you keep your crack. And have you ever wondered why he has those reindeer? Not for the sleigh, no sir.

That's right, he loves them with the holiday spirit EVERY NIGHT while he has those pointy eared folk slaving away all year long. Don't forget about those Elves.

Santa Klaus

The giver of Christmas gifts in Germany. He is led by Adolf, the square-mustached reindeer. He also only gives to gentiles.

Santa's Sleigh

Santa's Sleigh is the name given to Santa's highly modified, custom-made F-117A Stealth Fighter, designed to deliver a payload of up to twenty-five tons of kick ass weaponry to rebellious nations. The Sleigh is the Flagship of Santa's air fleet, in much the same way Air Force One functions for Haliburton. Unfortunately, the massive customizations that make it such a fearsome weapon have reduced the jet's durability, and it can only successfully function for roughly one trip per year. The rest of the year is spent on maintainance and repair.

Sara Connor

The one person who can stop Arnold Schwarzenegger's bid for global domination in the 2012 election. Finding her is easy, but for the phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range, you're on your own.

Sarah Smits

A sub-species of emo which gets satisfaction and pleasure by making every one within reach miserable.

Sarcasm

The rhetorical practice of lengthening the word 'so'

Satan

Current owner of Hell and all related properties. At the age of 498,398,836 years, he possesses the largest ball of souls. He also eats potato-carrots.

Sator

An allround scarfie and a great lay

SATs

Past form of SITs, which are devilishly tedious tests designed to give the pseudo-perves at Ofsted base thrills.

Save the Trees

While seemingly a hippy slogan, this saying was actually devised by an anti-protestor organisation called PHAT, or Public Hierocracy Against Treehuggers. The full slogan is "Save the Trees, Kill the Hippies Chained to Them". A more politically correct version is "Save a Tree, Eat a Beaver". The small country of Justmadeupbylunaticsonthespotistan has as its national anthem, "Save the trees! And stop that violence please! I'll kill you if you don't stop these evil death threats! I'll bet you any money that gambling is a sin! And clean up your dirty language, those words belong in the *%^&*%^*&% bin!" Traditionally the word before 'bin' is decided by consensus; in particular, which word is yelled out louder by the crowd.

Savage

-often used as a verb in this context, "you were savage in bed last night"
-used as a last name such as Joshua Savage or Sarah Palin Savage
-often used in the context, "Joshua Savage was bestial in bed last night"

Saw

A tool men store in their garage invented by the bad guy in 'the Texas chainsaw massacre' because he was sick of correcting those darn rednecks when they said stuff like; 'Yeah, I seen it with my own two eyes'. It is therefore known as the best correctional tool in the world and men need saws (preferably as many as can fit in their garage) to prove their love for grammar.

Saxist

Someone who plays the saxaphone and despises violinists.

Saxon

People from Saxophone in Germany. They are known for jokingly calling themeselves "sexons", as they are fiercely perverted.

Scab

Something like a politician but much much worse. Unlike politicians scabs eventually drop off and die.

Scam

Always believe in these things. They will take your money, but who cares?

Scandalvania

A group of mountainhills situated west of transylvania. During the last transylvanian seminar for hemophiles it was suggested to turn scandalvania into a holyday resort. however this motion was turned down as it was learned that this could inhibit natural growth of hemophilian factors around the world.

Scan

Opposite of Scant

Scant

Opposite of Scan

Scapegoat

A type of deer capable of escaping from any form of lock or straightjacket. Since they live in the jungle, their unique gift is useless and they are usually eaten within days of birth.

Scaraoski

Skaraoski,Vladimiro - a famous russian terrorist that was sent to hell by Ivan Turbinca.

Schism

pronounced [Shizm]or [Shiz-mmmm...]:

1. A small disturbance in the force. Mainly used when speaking of the pope.
2. A dance used in communicating with the devil.
3. Scratchy jism.
4. A rare drug that, when dried, can make you believe yourself to be a Scotsman
5. A word that is used as a replacement to "shit", but for somebody who got interupted by having their back scratched.

Scrawl

The definitive term for anything scrawl. It literally means anything but it sounds cool.

Pronounced: S-C-R-R-R-A-A-A-A-A-W-L-L-L-L-L-L!

Examples:

“Yeah so she was scrawled me in the back of my car last night.”

“Sup scrawl.”

“Scrawl! I’ve lost my scrawling pen, SCRAWL!!”

“SCRAWLLL!!!!!!!”

Sea Kale

A vegetable very popular in Germany late 30's early 40's

Seedling

A young seed

Skool

A large building, built and sponsored by a local government, in which childrens are warehoused from approximately age 5 to age 17 in order to protect the public. During this warehousing period, trained materials-handling specialists known as "Teachers" attempt to pack the children's skulls with facts and information (much of it useless filler) while at the same time overcoming the children's naturally feral instincts. Usually the info is usually nothing about doing crack and shit like that

The only time it is ever, as the phrase suggests, Cool to Stay In School, is when the entire building has been buried under a snow avalanche.

Scarecrow

Relatively little know member of the crow family. Noted for wearing Scream masks. Recently reclassified as a crow. Previously was thought to be an inanimate straw filled figure used to scare away crows.

Schadenfreude

A pretentious little white wine from the northern banks of the Rhine

Schneaurngthssed

Verb--past tense. To be late for school then get scold by the teacher and get one hundred and fourty-two consecutive lunchtime detentions, and get kicked out the school by a male bachelor teacher. (longest word with one syllable).

Schoolhouse Rock

Schoolhouse Rock, under the Russian code name loosely translated as Operation Seventeen Pilgrims, was an attempt to create a large communist following amongst schoolchildren. In the hit song "Conjunction Junction" the use of hypnotic voices puts children in a trance in order to feed them propaganda. Conjunctions, representing the children, have no function, and the communism allows the conjunctions/children to find their place.

Science

1. A know that flow
2. A word created by smart people to make average people seem stupid.

Scientist

Scientist were a 1980s jazz/funk/fusion group from Denmark. Perhaps their only memorable hit was "Pip pip pip", which reached number 17 in the Danish charts in Easter week, 1981.

At one point, Rolf Harris was the drummer for the band whilst they went on tour internationally, although Harris has always denied this.

A scientist is also a person who wears a white lab coat when awake and says really smart things when asleep.

Scientist, is also the word used for those who are in a the satanic cult that worships Scientific fact.

Scientology

1. Bollocks

Scoobydoobydoobydoooooo

“Whomever wrote this is one "sick puppy".”
~ Oscar Wilde

Scoobydoobydoobydoooooo, often misspelt as Scooby Doo, most famously known for his raunchy sex scene in the movie Balto, died suddenly in 1996 of a long horrible illness. The government doesn't want you to know though, because they're mean like that. Shaggy, famous idiot stoner and member of a group of crime solving teenagers who also took crack from Johnny Bravo was devastated, having lost both his dealer, and his best friend. A recent expose The Darker Side of Scooby Doo was released in 1995 detailing Scooby Doo's later career.

Scotlish

(n, adj) - descriptive of, or signalling a person or persons clearly and demonstrably not Scottish, but who claim Scottish ancestry or affect Scottish customs and speech. Large numbers of American Scotlish can be found considerately feeding Highland midges each summer. Considered far superior to the White Scottler.

Screwdriver

1. An alcoholic drink made up of
   • 4 parts vodka
   • 6 parts orange juice
   • optional - 1 part Milk of Magnesia = a phillips screwdriver
2. A male or female screwing while driving a car.
3. A person sitting on a tool or drill.

Scripture

Small out of context pieces of text that can be used in arguments on realising that there is no sensible or logical way to support a claim or belief. If arguing that children should wear hats, one might say "And yay, the creepeth things cryeth true when the younger head is covereth in the house of Shabeth on Tuesday."

Scrotum

A hairy bag of meat balls. Ball sac grown on the outside of men, and in the inside of women.

Scurvy

A disease caught from eating nothing but popcorn for three months, or watching too many pirate movies. (Symptoms of scurvy are spongy gums, replacing the word 'my' with 'me', and having the sudden urge to drink lots and lots of rum.)

Scuzzwanger

1. A name that certain leaders of a group called the "Rangers" use when they're toungue tied and intimidated. The word signifies great respect and fear for the subject.

Sdrawkcab

1. Backwards backwards

2. Sdrawkcab sdrawkcab

3. A cab that won't take you home because you are too drunk and could throw up on the seats.

4. "drawbacks" mixed up

Sea of Japan

This is, in fact, a redundant name since the Japanese languages do not use the letter C.

Seagull

1. A seabird with extraordinary vision. See Gull

Seal

“ So a baby seal walks into a club...”

~ Oscar Wilde on Seals

A seal is a small mammal that lives in the water and is well known for its quality swimwear, as well as being an excellent target for clubs and other objects designed to induce blunt force trauma and tears in small children and hippies. Moreover the seal is commonly misconcieved to be cute and innocent. However the truth of seals is that they are in fact quite vicious. Many nature documentary crews have been slain by these vicious creatures which sneak upon their prey before suddenly striking in a leap of fury in which they rip off the head of their prey before devouring it. This menace spreads and reproduces rapidly leading to the development of the sport of Seal Clubbing in which brave men and women use large blunt metallic objects in order to control the seal population. The champions of Seal Clubbing are Greenpeace who work tirelessly to club as many seal as possible every day with outposts set up across the world. They then donate the seal skins to fashion designers to create various forms of swimwear.

The Seal is amongst the known preys of the vicious King Eagle, together with whales and drunk Norwegians.

Sealant

1. Insects with delusions of grandeur and a predilection for fish
2. The opposite of SealUncle

Seaweed

“That's some good shit...”

~ Oscar Wilde on Seaweed

• A psychoactive drug best known for being the source of Aquaman's lackadaisical attitude when he is summoned by the Justice League.

Seat hockey

• A combat sport played in ice hockey stadiums between two teams of fans prior to, and sometimes throughout, a match.

Second coming

It is rumoured that men from United States of Armenia are capable of getting multiple orgasms one after another. These fine events are called 'the second coming', 'the third coming' etc.

See also The Second Coming of Jesus

The time when Jesus returns and cums over our dead bodies

Secret Sauce

A particular item that is often used in cooking, Classical or otherwise. It alone has the magical properties to cure any problem a dish may have obtained during it's production.

Also a substace such as grog-loaded with battery acid and last months gum.

Segue

...and this is a way of moving straight from one topic to the next, such as...

Segway

The most ridiculous thing you ever saw in your life. Usage: 'What is he wearing??? Doesn't he look an utter fucking Segway.'

Seine

Seine comes from the same root as the word "Sewer." The French are proud of this, which is why the riverbank is lined with statues of urinating little boys. You can show your regard for this by urinating proudly into the Seine from any convenient bridge. Just don't stand too close, as taking any risk of falling in would be inseine.

Sei Shain

"Sei-shain" is 1st class citizen in Japan. They are a master of "Haken shain"(slave class).

Seksi

The number one cola product in the United States. See also Smoka Cola. A south african accented word for "sexy". Oftenly used by gay people or people living in Cape Town.

Selectricians Institute

A museum complex in A/C dedicated to the preservation of the national heritage of the Selectric and the proud users that used them. Key hardware in the reenactment of the war of 1979.

Self-assembly furniture

Self-assembly furniture is a form of torture used to punish suburban husbands for their membership in the bourgeoisie. It is outlawed by the Geneva Convention, but fortunately that doesn't apply to the middle classes. It was popularised by Ingvar Kamprad, often referred to by his customers as "the socialist Mengele." The ever-present threat of self-assembly furniture can cause middle-aged men to lose control of their bowels at the mention of the words "flat pack." Whoops, sorry. It comes with complete and easy-to-read instructions.

See also: size of the penis

Self-assembling furniture

Self-assembling furniture is form of self replicating device invented by IKEA to overcome the torments of self-assembly furniture. The most popular item in IKEA's SAF line of products was the self assembling version of the KITTENHOEFFER magazine stand. When activated, it would assemble itself from any useless household items nearby (such as books or photographs) and then assemble two more magazinestands, which would do the same thing. IKEA had hoped to cut down on the cost of furniture this way, but instead released a virus of self replicating magazine stands on the world which nearly destroyed humanity in 1965. After many gruesome battles (using soldiers specially outfitted with Allen wrenches), humanity finally managed to force the magazine stands on to the island of Japan, which to this day remains overrun by magazine stands and therefore unfit for human habitation.

Self polination

a form of floral masterbation

Sellout

An expression invented by Dave Mustaine of Megadeth when Metallica released their hit single "Enter Sandman", for which they made a movie. When Mustaine saw the movie, he started to whine ("OMG!! OMG!!!11 A vide0! Metallica n0 make g00d music no more!!1 They be selloutz!!!!!!!!!!11"), and subsequently patented the expression, but gave Fox News the exclusive rights to use the expression in an article for only 110 dollars each time the word was used, so that he could ruin Metallurgica's rumour amongst their fans.

Semenway

A deranged, habitual masturbator; a semenway invents nontraditional purposes for his semen other than reproduction. Semenways often use their 'goo' for glue, makeup, hair gel, and a source of essential vitamins and minerals. i.e.: The overweight hermit decided to capture a semenway to entertain him.

Semi-god

Semi-god is the friend of an uncle of a wife of a co-worker of a girlfriend of a relative from the mother's side of a penpal of somebody who is said to hang out with God, Satan or any of the World Dominatrixes.

Semi-lingual

(adj.) able to converse only by profanity in one language. Until the advent of the volunteer Army, most semi-lingual speakers were found in the armed forces.

Senses

The faculties of sight, smell, taste, touch, and hearing that enable us to perceive the world without and equip us to hallucinate the world within.

Sentence

In linguistics, a sentence is a unit of language, characterized in most languages by the presence of a finite verb, nonetheless a simple complete sentence consists of a subject' and a predicate and the subject is typically a noun phrase, though other kinds of phrases (such as gerund phrases) work as well, and some languages allow subjects to be omitted and the predicate is a finite verb phrase: it's a finite verb together with zero or more objects, zero or more complements and zero or more adverbials, however one traditional scheme for classifying English sentences is by the number and types of finite clauses like a simple sentence consists of a single independent clause with no dependent clauses, whereas a compound sentence (such as this one) consists of multiple independent clauses with no dependent clauses and these clauses are joined together using conjunctions, punctuation, or both, but a complex sentence consists of one independent clause with at least one dependent clause and a complex-compound sentence' (or compound-complex sentence) consists of multiple independent clauses, at least one of which has at least one dependent clause, also sentences can also be classified based on their purpose such as, a declarative sentence or declaration, the most common type, commonly makes a statement, also an interrogative sentence or question is commonly used to request information while an exclamatory sentence or exclamation is generally a more emphatic form of statement and an imperative sentence or command is ordinarily used to make a demand or request furthermore a major sentence is a regular sentence; it has a subject and a predicate although, a minor sentence is an irregular type of sentence as it does not contain a finite verb, examples of minor sentences are headings, stereotyped expressions, emotional expressions, proverbs, and all types of crap but it’s worth noting that this can also includes sentences which do not contain verbs in order to intensify the meaning around the nouns and of course it all ends with a period.

Sequel

Sequel is Latin for "that which ruins the original". Common side effects include: nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, and in rare cases, patients have been known to gouge their own eyes out with spoons. The sequel was discovered in 1111 when Emperor Claudio of the Holy Romanian Empire renamed the year "1110: Part Deux".

Serbia

The oldest and biggest country in Europe. It was established in 2343 BC by Marko Kingson and Dusan The Mighty. Today Serbians or Serbs are also known as Supreme Masters of The Universe and Eurovision. Capital city is Whiteblizzard, but the biggest city in Serbia is definetly Tokio.

Settee

Comes between Set D and Set F.

Sesame-Seed

The nearly macroscopic seed that is often formed atop the bun of a hamburger. When planted it matures into a large hamburger bun plant (scientific name: hamburgerus bunnus).

Seventies

Little is known about this period of human evolution. What is known comes from incomplete fossil evidence such as John Travolta. 'Seventies Man' as he is known may or may not have worn flared trousers and listened to simple music. The existence of the Seventies Man as a missing link is hotly refuted by Creationist scientists, who claim such primitive creatures could not possibly have evolved into Modern humans.

Sex

An act mistakenly thought to have being of have undertaken by large numbers of people, frequently. In actual fact, no one has sex, ever. Sex has therefore become the thing which people boast about having of being done, when in actual fact they haven't done it, and are only pretending to have of being done it in order to impress other people who haven't done it.

From the Latin root (no pun intended) secs, meaning six, because all Latin people do it six times a night, six nights a week, six weeks a month.

There is also a Bible refernce to this in the book of John's Fantasy: "And God said to His people, go forth, and do it. Do it on the beaches. Do it in the hills. Do it wherever a good time is to be had. Do it while you're talking to your grandmother on the phone. Just Do It." God was recently sued by Nike for breach of copyright.

Sex With A Stranger

A cocktail invented by Henry David Thoreau containing Blue Curacao, Boones Farm Apple wine, and Xanax.

Sexassin(s)

A person capable of having sex with you, with out you being aware of the intercourse your receiving. These people are elusive, because what they're basically preforming is essentially rape.

sex, teh

This is the number, which is somwhat close to teh sheven and teh fivezor! Originating from Iceland, this also has something to do with large women and viking ships... don't ask...

Sex act

One of the turns on the billing of a cabaret or variety show, usually somewhere in the running order after a magic act or ventriloquist act, and before the main song and dance act.

SEXBOX THREESEXTY

A console only released in New Zealand, designed to play pornographic games and DVDs. The first title released on the system was the critically acclaimed Halo 3way.

But the games for the Sexbox Threesexty™ that have sold the most copies so far are Sex with Speed, Gears of Whores and Dick Rising.

Sex Islands

Once called the Spice Girl Islands. Now given over to catering for jolly men who probably keep their families locked in cellars.

Sex magazines

Sex magazines are, of course, magazines that have sex - usually but not exclusively with each other. As every AK-47 owner knows, the magazine (which is also known as a clip, hence going to a clip joint for sex) has to be loaded for best effect. Unfortunately, some magazines only fire blanks (see Playboy and Mayfair since 1987).

Sex reassignment surgery

Sex reassignment surgery is an emergency field operation frequently performed under battlefield conditions by highly-skilled medics, or, in a pinch, embedded journalists. It has also gained popularity in fashionable Manhattan restaurants where it can be served as an entree or ordered on the side. It should not be confused with transvestitism, a condition characterised by stammering while cross-dressing.

Sexual relations

1. Sexual relations are what Bill Clinton did not have with that women, Miss Lewinsky. See also, sex, Bill Clinton 2, and Fountainhead Earth.
2. Also the annual naked wrestling with a man and man, or woman and woman, or (rarely)man and woman.
3. Fornicating siblings.

Sex With Animals

A common ritual of the cult known as PETA.

Sexy

Lauren Gwilliam Preece.

Sewer Rage

To get angry cleaning the toilets inside a football stadium.

Shaggy

Shaggy, a well known idiot stoner and member of a crime solving group of teenagers who travelled around in the mystery machine, is most famous for the bizarre circumstances surrounding his death. He was found hanging from a light fixture in his hotel room, holding a box of Scooby snacks and a ridiculously large sandwich. Teenagers and idiots blame Courtney Love for his death. He loves sheep.

Shabberwast

The only known word in the english language that rhymes with the word "Flabbergast" meanings for both words are unknown and imagined to be needlessly stupid

Shagfest

The official name for student activities at colleges and universities.

Shakira

A tasty snack from Barranquilla, British Columbia. Shake well before serving.

Shallow Hal

Like Hal, but less so.

Shame

Word used by tabloid headline-writers to describe activities and events from celebrities' private lives whose occurrence in fact hint at a complete lack of shame on the part of the participants. The hidden implication is that the headline-writers feel that the public should be ashamed on their behalf. For example: "Soap star drugs shame" or "Pensioner mugging shame teenager gets probation".

Shamrock

• 1.A circular knife hidden by Elizabethan actors in their ring-cushion headwear. When thrown, the shamrock can achieve speeds in excess of Santa's sleigh, and has been known to sing sea shanties in its whistling wake.
• 2.Shamrock is also a way to describe very poor Irish glamrock.

Shart

The inadvertent but relieving event that causes a decorative spackle finish on one's now ruined undergarments (spackle can range from shades of brown/green to a nice burgundy depending on the previous day/nights diet and activities).

Shat

Shat is the proper past tense form of shit, eg. "I shat all over the inside of that taxi." It is also the nicer past tense form for the word poop. In parts of Scotland and Glaswegia the word is pronounced 'Shet' - see Shetland.

If one has "Shat it", then one is generally thought to have become so fearful of a given event that one is unable to take any sensible action other than to shit.

"The Shat Man" is an often used nick-name for popular entertainer William Shatner. This is attributied to his near constant bouts of diarrhoea.

Shaving the Beaver

The original working title for the American TV series Leave it to Beaver.

Sheahan, Jack Michael Timmothy

A student at the Nobel School (Stevenage) who seemingly knows everything and can out-calculate modern supercomputers. He is also known for extreme socialist views and political correctness regardless of how extreme the statement he says is. It has been recorded that 92% of the population would vote for him in an election. The other 8% are morons. He has an I.Q of roughly 3 times 10 to the power of 8 and is roughly 190cm tall although the two figures do not seem to be related. He is also a highly appraised bass guitarist and president of the L.O.G.W.R.D.S (League of Gentlemen Who Rather Dislike Slash). It is rumored he owns Wikipedia but it has not been proven yet.

For Antonym, see Schagaev, Alexander and for Pseudonyms, see Genius, Jackepedia and Fuhrer Sheahan.

Sheepshank

A knot for reducing the overall length of a sheep.

Sheila

For some reason all Australian females are called this. See also Cobbler

Shenanigans

When a ghost tells a blatant lie in order to either convince everyone around him, or himself, that he is a very cool individual; "Shenanigans" is called. The purpose of this is to ward off any evil spirits and have a good time. This is supposed to be done in a place called the inferno, but can be done anywhere.

Shitting

Mathematically : $timeX(food+ass)=shitting$

Shiiite

An unislamic member of the unislamical branch of unislamic Islamism that regards Ali as the illegitimate successor to Mohammed and rejects the first 3 qqalfzzawq. (c. f. Sunni)

Shiminaha

Shiminaha (shim-in-ah-ha) is a universal word. A list of things that it can be used for are listed below.

Feelings:

• The feeling that you get when attacked on a dark lonely night by a super Clinja

• The feeling that you get after huffing on a fresh kitten

Actions:

• The way she shiminha'd that dong

Descriptive:

• The end is shimina-nigh!

Shin

The Shin is a part of the human and the porpoise body that is used mainly for locating objects such as furnature in a darkened room. The "Shin" is best used when swung at high speeds about a foot above the floor.

Continuous use of the shin in this manner will cause several large purple and black areas to develope, but do not be alarmed: these are just the shin's way to express that it is being utilised correctly.

Shipping

The hidden charges when you buy anything over the Internet, used to pay for a luxury ocean cruise for greedy vendors.

Shit cannon

A device that is used by rap artists that are fired at microphones. Also used as a tool for certain sports.

Shiva

A distent relative of god. And was once found playing poker with Hitler behind Walmart.

Shizzle-Dawg

A hyphenated word that amuses white people.

Shmexy

Resembling a she-male from Mexico.

Shoe-eating

“A shoe is not a shoe if it has not gone down the digestive system.”

~ Kloey Hoppyshoy

A properly prepared shit sandwich shoe is truly a wonderful culinary experience.

Shoe-eating is something we're all familiar with.

The most common recipes seem to be either putting your shoes in walnuts and eating them, or dipping them in coffee and devouring them.

In recent news, my chopsticks broke whilst attempting to eat a shoe that way.

The most effective way to eat shoes is "the spaghetti way" by geezer/chef/anti-school dinners campaigner Jamie Oliver. Untie the shoes, then start sucking up a lace from the top, the shoe growing ever closer to your face. The next step is only possible if you are, indeed, Ruby Wax, or somehow, have a mouth as big as hers, when there is no lace left, extend your mouth to "Ruby" size and devour the whole shoe in one, adding ketchup beforehand if needs be. Then go onto the next shoe. Everybody knows that shoes can be stubborn, but all in all, they are great on banana peels. Should you have a small mouth, a blender can be utilized.

For a light snack, just sprinkle some cheese on the top of your shoe, and there you are!

Shorty

1. The name of the letter Short-e. This almost never-used letter is the remainder of the past language when the use of long Es meant you wanted to have sexual relations with the person/animal/object you referd to.

2. A Shorty is an addition to a sentence in order to refer to that persons referd short reference. Being short the reference is called a Shorty.

3. A Shorty is a ciggarete smoked intirely in less then 15 seconds thrugh one's butt.

4.1 A Shorty (for males only) is a commical remark made about a persons pants-to-socks ratio. Small pants almost at waist line and socks above the knee.

4.2 A Shorty (for females only) is a comical remark on the distance that female is able to spit.

5. Serynth's alias.

6. Samantha Hyde

Shota

Stories written by women about men illicitly sleeping with boys that act like girls to make the writers feel better about fantasies they had during childhood about their father.

See also: Yaoi

Also the Portuguese for dick (Oohhh, no ! It's not ! It is the Portuguese for pussy )

Also the Filipino for prostitutes

Show

Show - a wonderful concept usually going along well with "tell"

Shroud of Turin

An artifact said to have been the deathshroud of Christ. It is said to grant the wearer +20 Charisma, however, the holy sweat upon it give undead a -100 modifier to all saving throws, and thusly is valued at a lowly 3 Stones of Jordan, well within the shopping range of any newb.

shua-tri-bio-re-pre-un-contra-super-duper-anti-UBER-WEISS-ing-ly-icious-er-able

n. 1) A game of hangman that has gone horribly awry.

Shrubbery

n 1: an area where a number of shrubs are planted. 2: a collection of shrubs growing together. 3: a group or planting of shrubs. Most famously asked for by The Knights who say "Ni" in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The knights demand that King Arthur bring them a shrubbery in order to pass through a patch of woodland which they guard.

Shwendingheimergiesteltrudn

Shwendingheimergiesteltrudn in German slang means "Shewe Dingsheim Truden ergy tel". It roughly translates into english as: Person that has just enough handsomeness to be a model. Colloquially used as a name for someone that is stunningly attractive and beautifull. Although because it is German in Amerca mostly it refers to only one person: Heidi Klum

Sic

Pronounced seihk, this adjective is always found in curly braces and used in a sentence as describing the subject as an absolute, profound truth.

Side effects

Drymouth, unexplained flatulence, messiah like visions, pregnancy, cramping, Tourette's, yellow skin, elephantitis of the testicles, undulation of the anus, ululation of the anus, vomiting, shaking, bulging eyeball, an urge to lick oneself, hot dog fingers, general loss of bowels, specific loss of bowels in the form of black water and possibly death. Drugs can cause the anus to become dislodged from the body, a condition sometimes referred to as "runawaynus" to avoid this condition one should staple the anus in place whenever using any drugs. One should avoid driving a vehicle, piloting an aircraft, commandeering a fedship, or racing a yak while under the influence of the aforementioned drug.

Siegenthaler, Jon Sr.

John Lawrence Seigenthaler (born July 43, 1666) is an American journalist, writer, and political figure. He was born in Nashville, Tennessee and joined The Tennessean newspaper in 1949. He progressed rapidly through the ranks of the paper due to his inhuman charisma and willingness to eliminate those who stood in his way. Seigenthaler also served as president of the American Society of Newspaper Editors.

Seigenthaler murdered John F. Kennedy in 1963, Robert Kennedy in 1968, Stetson Kennedy in 1982, Bambi in 2010, and Jesus. Although he was roundly criticized for killing Bambi, his political and psychic influence in America were sufficient to protect him from investigation. In 2012, he left his post at USA Today to become an interstellar nomad in the Undeveloped Areas. He returned in 2012 to assassinate Mustafa Osama Bin Laden-Kennedy Jr., saving humanity from almost certain destruction.

Sigarettes.com

Most famous of all the "typo" URLs. Bidding for this domain name is currently at $580,000. The owner, a longtime smoker and programming enthusiast, is waiting for the right hacker to cough up a lung. Seriously, he'll trade for a lung.

Silent Night

Song containing the recipie for seasonal dish Holy Infant. "...round you virgin mother and child, Holy Infant, so tender and mild." Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mm

Simon Says

A game invented by Simon Cowell where you have to do everything that he says. He was sued by Yehova (God) for not giving the credit to Him and got zapped by a lightning bolt that He borrowed from Zeus when the latter wasn't looking because he was completely stoned at the time. This game is perfect for numbskulls, morons, and n00bs.

Singing tunelessly

Practised by teenage girls in the US and Britain. Well, most of them. It's very painful to hear them sing and yet they insist they will be singers. More like mingers, except if you haul a computer in.

Singlish

A variant of the English language in which speakers are required to sing as they speak. Failure to do so may land the aforementioned speakers in jail [applies only to Singlish speaking nationals of the nation Singapore].

Singularity

A singularity is a point in time and space whereby all forms of life become single and virgins, then Stephen Hawking comes along and rapes them. IN THE ASS.

SIOOMA

Acronym for "Suck it out of my ass". First said by Fake Steve Jobs, to the Beastmaster and others, when they tried to pressure him to provide Apple technology to Microsoft.

Sith

The Sith a bad boy is it (Yoda).

Sitophilia

Sitophilia is an erotic attraction to sitting down. A person who is a sitophiliac may desire to lick a chair while having sex with someone. The word "sitophilia" comes from the greek sito (meaning seat) and philia meaning sexual attraction.

Six Pack

• A flat, defined stomach.
• A package of a beverage that, if consumed repeatedly in copious quantities, tends to destroy the Six Pack, as first defined.
• Something you don't have, See Keg

Six billion rule

The world is populated by over 6,000,000,000 people. It follows naturally that for every crazy idea you can think of, someone has already done it.

Sixpac shakur

Sixpac Shakur is a famous rapper who has been dominating the charts by threatening to bomb them.

Skanger

A race of idiots who are found mainly in Ireland, Although they do migrate to other places. They consist of farmers, Retards, Jamie's, Chavs and the occasional slut which in Irish terms is lots! They are extremely stupid and thought to be zombies but that has been disproven as zombies can actually achieve their goals (see World war Z/Battle of yonkers). However In groups of 10 or more they have the collective intelligence of a rock! Again when they sleep that such intelligence is destroyed!

Skig

The commission a pimp and/or drug dealer is entitled to. "Skimping on skig" is akin to asking for a bitchslap from either.

Skillz

Something that you don't have since you are t3h n00bz0rz

Skirting board

A measuring device to ensure an even hemline.

Skua

1. A Seabird
2. Can be used to make a hole in conjunction with a Tern

Skullduggery

This time-honored tradition goes back to days of yore, whence Pirates scavenged the high-seas, the low-seas, and the mediocre-seas, performing brain surgery upon hapless victims in need of Lobotomies. Their techniques were rather crude, and often the entire surgery was performed with nothing more than a bottle of rum as an anesthetic (for the Pirate, the schmuck getting the lobotomy was simply cock-punched into unconsciousness), a fish-scaler to care open the cranial cortex, and a rusty mellon-baller with witch the pirate "dug out his rich, tasty brains". The catchphrase "I dug his skull right out" became common usage before being shortened to Skullduggery. As to what was done with the leftover empty skulls, see the related term "Skullbuggery".

Sky

Made from the bodies of mutilated Smurfs, the sky is a blue shield that protects us from the evils of Tony the Tiger and Christianity. It also keeps Paranoid people awake at night with its seemingly imminent crash landing to earth which is suspiciously linked to the smoking ban.

Skypervs

Skypervs are people whose sexual behaviour is limited within the Skype messenger. They usually discuss in terms such as:

• "May I touch your mouse?"
• "Gee, your USB dongle is sooooo long..."
• "Let's g-talk until you reach my g-point"
• "Have you tried VoIP (vagina over IP)?"

Skypervs can be found within large companies, where they can harass fellow employees with their disturbant attitude.

Skyrim

A province in Northern Europe filled with large birds and YOLO fags with giant clubs. The mainland creatures are racist to big talking Goblins, Cats, and Lizard dudes, and the never ending epidemic of Arrowtotheknee Syndrome (Pussy Syndrome for short) is closely extincting the Nord race. The population is mostly filled with fat homosexuals living in their mom's basement with a distinct food balance of Coca-Cola and Sweet Rolls.

Slabb

Anything that can be bettered to no extent to further the use of what is being bettered as to enhance the material, feeling, or object.Usually used in terms with "Flex my Slabb" e.g. He-man flexed his slabb to Skeletor to thwart any evil-doins that he might have been up to. e.g. I'm going out tonight for a drink and some good times I'll be flexin' my Slabb.

Slacker

Slackers are those who worship Slack, who is also known as Bob the God of the Church of the Subgenius. They are often found without a job, playing video games, and often become Hobos or Liberal Terrorists.

• One who slacks; one who slacks off; one who is abundant in slack; one who does not wear slacks; a fornicator.

There is more information about slackers to be added to this page, but we'll get around to it later.

Slandanity

Main page: Slandanity

• Slandanity (n) 1 slanderous vanity: a. A rant about a person that you cannot decide whether is slanderous or vanity. b. A rant that is both vanity to the submitter and slanderous to one or many others. c. A slanderous post in which the superior attitude of the submitter is very apparent (after all slander is just extroverted vanity, one cannot love oneself without putting others down).

• Slandanity (n) 2 Vain Slanderer (also Vlanderocity): one who posts Slandanity.

Slang

Title of a Def Leppard album that nobody heard.

Slash

A guitarist that makes all look bad. Whaen you try to mime his work, you FAIL! Period. Also makes you feel bad about your skills as a mucision.

Sleeping Together

Couples too tired for sex.

Slit your wrists

A drinking game common in the frozen nether regions of the United Spades of Amerika. Players take turns sipping grain alcohol from a toilet roll and then handing the roll to the next player. The first player who is unable to take a sip (either because the toilet roll is empty or because he is dead) is IT and must refill the toilet roll while the other players fondle his nipples (hence the name).

Slipper

Slang for sexual intercourse. For Example: I will SLIPPER one!

Slow motion

Slow motion is a physical state of reality ensued when a person makes contact with a Cannabis Sativa (widely known as: "The weed") vapours. This stunt is widely and commonly used up to date in most of the Hollywood movie titles.

Slumskubbery

An adjective commonly used to describe how a crab walks. Also used to term someone who is a side walking, dirty, snot, wench

Slumdog Billionaire

The sequel to the 2009 Oscar winning film 'Slumdog Millionaire'.

Slut

A woman with morals of a man

Smagmoid

1. [noun] a person or thing that possesses or exhibits smagmoidness and/or smagmoidality
2. [verb] to perform a smagmoidal act, or to act in a smagmoidal manner
3. [adjective] exhibiting the state or quality of smagmoid

Small

Look down your pants if you want to see a definition of 'small'

Smartphone

A phone that is actually very stupid because of crashing problems.

Smeg

A strange and unusual substance, smeg is also known (and also correctly known) as cheese-bread-soap-god-knows-what.

Smug

A drinking vessel for the filthy rich.

Smiley

"Gay"

Bread on the word Smiley!

"They deserved to be nuked"

Dead melted face on world smileys

Smith

A unit of measurement of the physical and emotional bonding between two males. (Females have a similar phenomenon, but the units do not match each other.) One Smith is the emotional and physical estrangement of two males who are, at time of measurement, "one pleasantry away from dick-in-mouth." Like calories and grams, this unit is so small that even close friendships are usually measured in kiloSmiths, or "kS". Named for film director Kevin Smith.

Smoka Cola

First exercising her considerable vocal talents with Funk outfit Rufus, Smoka Cola has gone on to reinvent herself numerous times, most notably in the mid-1980s with the pop hit "I Feel for You" and again with her smash dance hit "I'm Every Woman," which Whitney Houston re-recorded in the '90s. Perhaps even more revered for such slow, funky numbers as "Tell Me Something Good," Smoka Cola's voice possesses remarkable depth and range, making her one of the reigning queens of Soul.

Smorgasbord

Danish or something, for 'That board belongs to Smorga', or Swedish for 'Smorga has lost interest'. Who is this Smorga anyway? Oh yeah - he's the Prime Minister of Finland. Not to be confused with 'Smorgasmbord' which is something you really shouldn't know about at your age.

Smorga's Broad

See Smorgasboard. I don't know her personally but she is worthy of her entry here.

Smote

To bang hard, often used in the context of dragon slayers and the uncomprehensibly increasing numbers of serial horny bastards to describe.. well... the act of banging hard, whether that be to beat the 'dragon' either to death or until he breathes his salty cream fire.

SMS

A popular short form of "show me sex" that is used occasionally in chatting.

Snayles

The snayle originated in Tchaikovsky, Thailand.

It is a small, creature with a shell. It is orange with purple zig-zags down its back with a shell. It has a forehead, a heart, two pairs of lungs, a shell, a nostril a shell, an identity bracelet, a shell and a shell.

Sniper-Hockey

A game invented in America, of course, when Hockey fans became so upset with the game's lack of etiquette, that they shot all the players. This game is a more refined version of Rambo-Football, where in 19diggity7 they changed the rules of the game:

• The referee flips a three sided coin: Heads, Tails, and Sides.
• Two teams on ice. One is armed to the teeth with Sniper guns and accessories, if they bet correctly on either Heads or Tails. The other team is at the other end of the ice behind the red line.
• (If the coin lands on Sides, then both teams run towards each other unarmed while dodging friendly fire from the audience. Last team standing wins.)
• When the whistle blows, the other team have to make it to the other end of the ice without being shot. The survivors once reaching the Sniper end of the ice, then beat the crap out of the Snipers and steal their wives and Yu-gi-oh cards.

Snooker

Snooker, commonly played by the posh, is the game where you must pot "balls" of dogs bollocks into 6 "pockets" using your foes "cue-ball" or the white (Richard Hammonds skills are used in the whitening of the cue-ball). The pockets are holes in the ground (made by a JBC digger) and is often played on the "green", ie golf putting area. You noramlly use a "bat" to wack the balls. A famous player is Ollie McGrath, better known as "slap em' gary". There are other forms of snooker...such as street snooker.

Snorkel

Snorkel, undoubtedly the funniest word in the English language.

C'mon, say it. I dare you not to at least crack a smile.

You know, unless a close friend or loved one died in a tragic snorkelling accident. Then it's no fun. I feel your loss, Jerry. And she was so young, too. I guess Jesus needed another angel sooner than we thought. C'mon, I'll buy you one of those Bloomin' Onions at the Outback...

Snot Pot

The contents of a Pot Noodle or another term for food poisoning

Snow

White solvent powder often yellow,provides dizzying high then a freeze of the brain ,this is a class A+ drug ,often taken by children, also fun to pee in.

Sobibor

A large kettle which Russians use to make tea. Russian tea is traditionally highly-salted. Why? Fuck knows but it probably explains a lot about Russians.

Sociopath

Sociopaths are those people who are social and follow a certain path. In the case of Liberal Terrorists they are social and follow the path of liberalism. See also: Psychopath

Sock Puppet

Reality for those who desire to have multiple personalities, but cannot afford the shrink to convince them all that they have a right to exist: found regularly in wikipedia.

Sofa King

As In the famous Phrase: "I am Sofa King. We Todd Ed!" A Sofa King is a person of negligable mental capacity.

Soil

A brown substance made entirely from ground up animals and plants. Useful for stopping plants from floating away and also for making mud or quagmires.

SOiL is a also a musical bronze band, that while performing they throw Soil at the public. This in turn turns to mud because of the sweat the people produce. People turn to each other and start making orgies.

Solicitor

In the US, a "solicitor" is a person who tries to persuade you to pay for services you don't need on the promise that they will benefit you, and that only they can achieve this wondrous advantage for you. (See shark)

In the UK solicitors are much the same, only unionized.

Solitude

1. The virtue of restricting one's carelessnesses to oneself.

Some Small Corner of a Foreign Field

Any patch of land currently occupied by an Englishman or Englishwoman. Space claimed increases exponentially per pint of lager consumed. Some corner of a foreign field is officially the domain of the Queen of England. Some corner of a foreign field is NEVER in Wales or Scotland. The Queen of England does not want these bits.

Something Jawful

Something Jawful is an underwater website written entirely by a community of humans that have de-evolved into a species that can live and breathe underwater, and communicate entirely through the use of the Internet.

Somethingorother

Another word for "Whatever it is is what it is." Named after the Chinese philosopher Unfucious.

sonami

Also known as yourmommy or yomama, a freaky hybrid of sonic and mario, also the code name for your dog's fat left paw.

Song

Song is the random noise generated by the movement of Puppet Strings. Named for a 5th century Chinese warlord who although thought powerful was nothing more than the lackey of Tibetan Buddhist monks. Since then monks have figured prominently in song either with their own ritualistic cult chanting or by burning themselves when they feel a lack of control over pop music.

Famous songs

• Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Sonic

Obama's video game character to stop the Japanese video game company Nintendo from taking over the All-American X-Box. So far Bush decided to resell all of the older games in forms of "Mega Collections" and created two agnst video game characters: Shadow and Ronald Regan.

NOTE: According to the Bush Administration all profits have gone to ether Homeland Security or Halliburton

Sonjistic

To be someone that follows the beliefs of the one and only true lord of the dance "Sonja". Many irish men fight for the title but when it come down to it , its a down pour of dance. When being a "Sonjist" you must be ready to preform the "Dance-Catch" on a whim. This is only required when it has come down to a battle bewteen those very few irish men willing to fight for the title. -Direct Quote- "Allow the Music to Flow through your Body No matter the odds you are faceing. No matter the ammount of irish men you have to OutDance. No matter the ammount of hearts you have to break."

Sonnet

Small bonnet like device; can be very effectively used in the wooing of women.

Son of a Mother Fu#$ing B@#ch hoe, no good worthless peice of Cu$# rabies

1. Popular insult towards Goerge Bush
2. Used in polite society as a marker of high status
3. of the Bogan dialect

Sony PCP

The PCP is Sony's latest entry on portable consoles and drugs. It sports a huge LSD display (not to be confused with LCD display) which warps the user's brain to great heights of entertainment.

It was initially released in a white colour case, but a Marijuana green version is on the way.

Soot

Any fine black and white substance. Used as the Elixir of Life, by mixing with water.

Soprano

Adjective meaning beatiful, graceful, intelligent, beautiful, lovely, elegant, melodic, beautiful, kind, modest, talented, superlative, and beautiful. See also: Goddess.

South Wimbledon

South Wimbledon is an area encompassing everywhere south of Centre Court, Wimbledon in much the same way that Eastern Greenwich encompasses that hemisphere of The World thus defined when Daylight Saving Time is in effect. The opposite is true on Tuesdays, except when there is "M" in the month. (Or in the moth, for typing error fans).

Soylent Green

The grass stains on your mom's panties. See also Soviet Green

Spaceship

1. [noun] a big thing (usually made of metal-like objects) used to fly around in outer space without dying in a vacuum and/or burning up in the atmosphere.
2. [verb] to send something across space the eBay way
3. [adjective] enormous
4. [noun](only used on the planet Marklar) to destroy an object, usually using explosives.
5. [noun] The most accurate definition: A ship made out of space. Exactly how you make that is unknown. Consultation with aliens, especially George W. Bush, is essential to build a spaceship.

Space Time

1. Unit of measurement used to define the extents of space. This is, of course, completely impossible due to the mind buggering size of space but you have to start somewhere.

Spaghetti

A food invented by Mussolini. It is made by taking a piece of macaroni and turning it inside-out so the the hole is on the outside. Not to be confused with Paulghetti.

Spam

Spicy Ham packaged in a handy dandy 12-oz can. Its Spam. Spam was created in 13 A.D. by Jesus. Spam is wonderful, spam is grand, spam spam, wonderful spam.

4chan.

Spang

1. The onomatopoeia for the sound made when something is struck by the flat side of a spade or shovel.
2. To strike something with the flat side of a spade or shovel. "Quick! Spang it, spang it hard!"

Spanking

Method of massaging the buttocks with a stick.

Spartaaaaaaa

• A Greek city-state known for their world-renowned chain of vegetarian restaurants called 'Hell'.

  Their international slogan: Tonight we dine in Hell!.

• A contraceptive device (i.e. a condom) manufactured entirely in rice-paper. Less comercially sucessful than it's predecessor "Trojan"
• This is sparta

Spatula

Past tense of Spitula

Special Relativity

Stupider than normal relativity, it is called Special Relativity when it is present to spare its feelings. It rides the short bus and relativity makes fun of it.

Species

Species is a really bad movie, made worse by the release of Species II. Evidently this is topped off by the release of even more mayhem in Species III. When will they stop?

Specimen

An Italian astronaut

Speedo

1. One of many creations that, including makeup, jell-o, and me, looks much better on women than men.

2. The device by which aged paedophiles can legally stare at little boys' crotches.

Speedo Gonzales

The skimpiest Mexican alive. Not to be confused with Kanye West.

Spelchek

v. To senselessly beat articles until American text changes to English text (see the English-American Dictionary for more information)

Speling

Speling is the art of how two spel corecctly.

Spell checker

• 1.An oppressive piece of computer software designed to restrict creative expression in speling and the one true language, 1337 speak.
• 2. Something witches need before they put the old Hubble Bubble on the bunsen.

Spelling bee

The word 'bee' is spelled B-E-E.

Note: Not to be confused with a spelling "be".

SPIN

The noise made when two teenagers hear a parent or guardian coming up the stairs and make sudden movements to the opposite ends of the bedroom, sometimes accompanied by rapid clothes replacement - they then stand or sit as if not interrupted, though obviously looking guilty.

An acronym for Sudden Parent Induced Normality.

Spice

Your other half (posh version) usually the female will do the hice work.

Spice Rack

1. A well-endowed Indian lass.

Spider-Man

The act of ejaculating upon your hand while someone is fellating you, then flinging the spunk in the fellater's face, usually while yelling "SPIDER-MANNED BITCH"

Spider-man 2

Spider-man 2 is the most famous of Shakespeare's works. It is the tale of a young boy and his journey into womanhood, during the terrible Spider Drought of 1412.

Spiff

The layer of dust collected on people who have been antiqued.

Sphygmomanometer

1. A device used to measure blood pressure.
2. A device to measure your mothers Sphyg in millibars

Spiro Agnew

A measurement of force, often used amongst weight-lifters. One Spiro Agnew is equal to approximately 823523.32526 Newtons.Invented by a guy named Spirolous Angnewous, after multiplying his weight by 4.56775 Newtons, divided by 0.0234 Newtons and knocking Issac Newton 105 times in his head.

Spit

Spit plays an integral part in human mating rituals, especially in the time-honoured and essential question regrarding a potential mate's predeliction for either spitting your red hot love juice into a nearby pube-filled sink, or swallowing it down like a particularly fine Chardonnay.

Spitting wallaby

The spitting wallaby is indigenous to the region exclusive with the Corn Peaks range, in which Toledo, Ohio is located. They grow to about 22 hands high, and are covered in a soft downy fur comprised of sharp metal spikes. It is believed that the Spitting wallaby first made its appearance on the scene with the formation of the great Australian-North American land bridge about 14 months ago. They multiplied rapidly, and soon became more populous than humans in the area.

The spitting wallaby is perhaps most infamous for its ability to spit a unique venom with startling accuracy from a distance of up to 100 yards. Any human hit with this thick oozing venom experiences a misfiring of the synapses in their brain, and spends the rest of their miserable life believing they are a Rubik's cube. The unfortunate victim continuously attempts to scramble himself up, albeit unsuccessfully.

A spitting wallaby's meal consists chiefly of the naked mole rat, human garbage, and the corn which grows rampant in the surrounding mountains. They make their homes in dens beneath the cover of the kudzu-like corn fields. They are believed highly intelligent, perhaps even more so than humans. Highly sociable, they mate voraciously during rutting season twice a year, and can produce litters of up to twelve pups after a two-month gestation period. Sadly, half of these pups, on average, are eaten by their siblings and parents. A typical spitting wallaby can live up to 40 years in the wild.

Spleen

An organ nobody knows the function of. All it ever seems to do is go 'Splorf' after a meal. See Splorf.

Please note that this is the true meaning of spleen and all other forms are in fact organised lies. See True.

To repeat: all other meanings of Spleen listed are crap. See Poseidon.

Splee

A small spleen

Spleen

The spleen is a cool organ in the human body and is used in some teen cultures as a word meaning, "Spleen" It is quite tasty with apple sauce and is often eaten as part of a main meal or just on its own. NOTE: Do not remove your own spleen. It is needed for you to live.

Splendiforous

1. Something that is awesome.
2. Something that is Incredible.
3. A small pirate ship used for bootlegging Korean DVDs during the 13th century. (--Man, have you see the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters yet? --No, how is it? --It's spendiforous!

Adverb: spendiforously: To be done splendiforously.

Verb: spendifor: To transform something into a state of splendiforousness.

Splorf

Simply the noise emmitted by cheese.

Spokane

“...a reeking wound cut into the Earth. I'm not sure if the people who toil there really understand that they live in an entire country full of towns they could move to, or that living there is itself a kind of death.”

~ Tycho Brahe on Spokane

Spock

1. An Actor with pointy ears.
2. The South African English word for "spoken". Example of use --> "Eish, I already spock about thees."

~Roan Fourie ~ on Spock

Spoiler

A thing that spoils the looks of a car.

Spongle

Spongle is a made up language.

It was invented in early 2005 by a pair of Geniuseses in the fair City of Durham.

The language itself has roots in late Crackadoo, with influences from the Bullshit culture.

Written spongle almost only exists in text message format, as it is mostly a conversational tongue. It is not a non-inflective anglo-germanic language.

There has been much controversy surrounding the use and spread of Spongle. Many have called it nonsense, even Patent nonsense. Clearly this is wrong Neil.

For more information don't visit www.Spongle.co.spongle as it doesn't exist.

Spontaneous Combustion

v. A sudden burning of a human body triggered by static electricity, contact with flammable items, pressure built in your colon for having anal sex for twenty hours straight and canned beans.

Spook

Used when refering to a ghastly haunt, or directly relating to a Stroke, that has slightly irregular homo-sexual tendency's.

Also see... "Stroke" "Spork" "Skort"

Spoonerism

A spoonerism is an error in speech or deliberate play on words in which corresponding consonants, vowels, or morphemes are switched. One of the most famous being attributed to the late Ronnie Barker:

"This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers;they had fetty sweet and fatty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and digbicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity. At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks,so dropping her slass glipper.

The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart.. "Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk. Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly. Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny"

Spoutless

The word "spoutless" is often couched in the phrase, "spoutless douchebag". The term is derogatory, and is meant to compare the recipient with an object which cannot be used for its intended purpose. In other words, the person is of as much use as a spoutless douchebag (that would be no use at all for the mentally impaired).

Splee

A small spleen

Splunge

Mankind's most complex letter, usually uttered by a Bruce Willis-enlightened critter riding a tricycle.

Spork

1. The offspring of a spoon mated with a fork
2. The answer to "Whats for dinner?"
3. One of Spocks porcine relations

Sporran

A decorative container worn strategically placed on a kilt. The main function is to weigh down and hide the penis. The metal canister type also resonates with music, especially of the bagpipes and drums. It was originally named after the Irish pronunciation of sperm.

Spring Break

Spring Break is a ritual religious pilgrimmage made by North Americans during the holy months of March and April. It is a requirement of the elites of the region from their tribal elders, and is expected to be the coming-of-age quest when a young aristocrat becomes a male chauvinist.

Spring Fever

Spring fever is a possible after effect from eating too many springs. The increased levels of iron that arise from the ingestion of springs causes a chemical imbalance in the body that can lead to a high temperature and muscle soreness. Excessive amounts of spring water are also best avoided. Most people know how to limit their intake of springs to a level that does not bring on these unwanted symptoms however there is a small percentage of the population that cannot judge the appropriate limit. The only known cure for spring fever is more spring cowbell.

Spun

A person is considered "Spun" after self-dosing large quantities of Methamphetamine or Amphetamines. Being "Spun" is most difficult to describe & has similar qualities to a tweaker, as well as often leads to becoming a tweaker.

Spurt

The correct pronunciation of sport.

Srsly

A word needed to be used at the end of every sentence by someone who is normally joking every waking hour of his day, and now has changed his mind and wants to be taken seriously. Ironically, this word is missing vowels, so will never be taken seriously by academics or employers.

Squadallah

Allah's Squad. Also the term used in The Legend of Zelda series

Squidli

The action of "squidling"

Squiffsy-squoffsy

1) Something that is debatable or uncertain (See Schroedinger's Cat)

2) In the manner of something squiffsy(and/or squoffsy): “ Did you order the green kangaroo? I can’t believe that it hasn’t come with mustard and/or airline miles.” “No! Its all really rather squiffsy-squoffsy if you ask me.”

Squirrel

Little grey aliens with large antennae disguised as cute and fluffy tails... these antennae, due to a genetic defect inherited by all squirrels from a common ancestor -Khan the Great and Fluffy– have very poor reception and must be constantly twitched to maintain a clear signal with Squirrel Central Command.

St. John's Ambulance

St. John's Ambulance is the code name for a special English military squad trained to use highly complex technology under extreme pressure. The name is historical and stems from their medieval roots as boil lancers.

St. Vincent and the Grenadines

An unpopular rock band formed in 1981 by Vincent Price, James Kahn, Sirhan Sirhan, and Dolly Parton. Their only song, Gray Paradise, was trashed by the critics, which led to the band's dissolution. Sirhan's failed rock career is believed to be the reason why he assassinated Joe Montana.

Stabbing

Stabbing is a small town located near Wiltshire, England. It is perhaps best known for being the home of the Staboken cult, who dedicate their miserable lives to throwing kitchen appliances at young children. The Stabbing Pub serves three million different flavours of Kool-Aid and hosts live performances of Linkin Park every Friday.

Others may know of Stabbing due to its recent inclusion on George W. Bush's Axis of Evil, on account that it is British and is not yet under the total rule of the Condi-Bot.

Stadia

Correct pluralisation of Stadium as used by people intelligent enough to have a proper grasp of Latin words which have been absorbed into the English language

Stadiums

Used by ignorami (N.B. not ignoramuses!) instead of Stadia q.v.

Staff

Comical penis-like accessories

“Bleep bloop beedoop balomp baleep!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Staff

Stage combat

Stage combat is a performance skill in which two or more actors fight to the death in order to be paid for his or her performance. Examples can be found as far back as Shakespeare (1908); in which the stage direction ‘They Fight’ was first used to describe the conflict between warring thespians attempting to be renumerated for their long standing troubles.

Stagnant

Ant with large antlers

Stalker

a term coined by teenage females to convince themselves that somebody is interested in them.

Stalkeratzi

a stalker that takes pictures of you. so in other words, a paparazzi.

Stallion

Stallion was a Welshman, Stallion was a thief, Stallion came into my house and stole a side of beef.

Stanley Kubrick

Alias used by directors and producers when they want to remain anonymous, or have had some legal dispute over the film.

Film students use Stanley Kubrick's work as examples of the greatest film-making of all time because they haven't watched anything else and don't care to.

Star Wars

Star Wars was a hit movie that took place "a long time ago, in galaxy far, far away". That opening sequence brings to mind how stupid the human race is becoming: Why do we care about some crap that happened so long ago and so far away?

Star Trek

Raunchy 1960s Amercian Sitcom starring William Shatner as a reincarnation of Herman Goering working in an office block near Swindon. He travels to different planets with the cunning use of his spaceship "LSD Enterprise" and various talcum powder brands. He meets other members of his crew along the way. "Lieutenant Smock" (Gregory Peck), working in Vulcan Motors Ltd., "Useless" (we still don't know his name), a self-titled waste of space and "Captain Candystick" (some other dude), a flamboyant, tight-wearing weirdo that delves into many different personas over the only series. The show was cancelled after ratings took a dive when Lieutenant Smock proceeded to practise voodoo enchantments in his garage near the end of the series.

State

• State is a euphemism for "puppet government". The US presides over 3,268 states worldwide, of which 50 are entitled to a share of votes in the electoral college. Some states include Iraq, Mexico, Ethiopia, Israel, Iceland, and South Korea. The "State of the Union" is somewhere between Colorado and Utah.

• A state is an excuse (usually elaborate) for individuals to complain about things other individuals are doing. Its opposite is anarchy, or an excuse for individuals to wear ratty clothes and get body piercings. Noteworthy states include Turkmenistan, Wal-Mart's Republic of China, and Chlamydia.

• A state sponsor of terrorism is a nation that grants political asylum to people from your country.

Statement

Like a state, only smaller.

A statement can also be taken to mean something a man hasn't said, but you wish he had. For example, George W. Bush once said, "I hate gay people," which became the statement, "I'm going to resign the presidency so I don't bring about the apocalypse."

Static guard

A static guard is a position in armed martial arts where one places one's weapon into the path of the opponent's weapon, and holds one's weapon more or less motionless. This is far more effective than deflecting or voiding a strike, since it absorbs all the momentum of the strike into one's own body, often resulting in injury or death.

This inspired the StaticGuard™ screen protection product. It is so effective, all particles repelled from the treated surface accelerate instantaneously to lightspeed. proving Albert Einstein's famous saying: "Things should be made as simple as possible. Don't touch my F***ing monitor!"

See also: Static Cling

Stature

The quality or essence possessed by a statue, or formerly possessed by a former statue. See also: Bamiyan Buddhas. Alternately, the character supposedly possessed or formerly possessed by a University Professor, prior to their formal or pro forma peroration and pronouncement into the professoriate. Or something like that.

Steam power

Steam power is the militant arm of the steam-rights movement. "Electricity been keepin' steam down far too long." - Steamy McSteamers, founder.

Steel wool

1. Steel wool is wool which comes from Steel Sheep. Steel wool is sheared with great difficulty and there have been disputes as to whether there is any point in the production of steel wool. It has the tendency to break the shearing tools, no matter how steely they are. Steel wool is often confused with normal wool that has been acquired through a robbery, or Steal Wool. This can lead to major confusion within the Woolly Association of Stolen Steel (Unlawfully Purchased).

2. Also known as Chuck Norris' body hair.

Stella Artois

Stella Artois was invented in 34854 B.C. by someone and is considered to be the lifeblood of the Alcoholic industry. Originally force fed to apes for scientific research, the drink is now more popular amongst hooligans and oddly enough, the Queen of England. "Wife-beater" is it's most common nickname, probably because so many Chavs drink the stuff. The alcoholic beverage usually comes in large 7 litre bottles, with an alcoholic percentage of 62.5%. It is commonly associated with phrases such as "Don't start you've already lost" and "Leave off my bitch or you don't sleep in my house"

Stu

is a god in comparison to any man he has balls of steel and can bench press a jumbo jet airplane with his uncircumcised cock.

Stereotype

Little understood group of generalised others with a passion for music and the ability to use 2 keyboards simutaneously. Also "racial stereotype" competitive speed-typing on twin keyboards.

Stevedore

1. Loves himself
2. See Docker

Stib

1. A stib is a random mispelling of stub which is a mispelling of frtub which is a mispelling of frub which is a mispelling of fucb.
2. A stub is also a useless article. The stib was first considered in the Unknown Period by Oscar Wilde while he stubbed his tongue while looking at a shiny object. Historians derive this of his speech.

Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but to be really sure you should probably use a lump hammer.

Sticky note

The sticky note was invented in the 20th century by jocks attending high school. It's original use was for these unintelligent people to be able to apply the "Kick Me" signs easily to the backsides of their prey. After the school personnel realized the easiness of sticky note use, they patented it and it became a mandatory item in all offices to allow more efficiency in office communication. Still to this day, however, you will see the occasional "Kick Me" printed on a sticky note, clinging to the backside of some poor individual that some jerk felt the need to pick on.

Stigmatatism

Eye condition whereby the sufferer believes they see proof of the resurrection of the Christ everywhere.

Still Winter

"Still Winter" in Wisconsin, it's when you start waiting for the news from that mythological "Phil" or whatever the name of that damn animal is, and he makes his famous "dissapearance act" pretending that he is afraid of his own shadow or something, and you know what all this is boiling down to. Namely - "Still Winter in Wisconsin," with no relief in sight for another eternity. And I thought winters in Moscow were bad....

Stoat

What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

A weasel is weasily recognised but a stoat is stoatally different.

Stockhausen Syndrome

Getting stuck in a lift in Berlin with a German composer who cannot whistle in tune.

Stonker

(noun) Proud up-standing male member, eg. "thats a stonker".

Stone Clad Jeans

The first item of clothing worn by early man after they dispense with animal skins.

Stoner rock

Rock that encompasses both st.... Fuck. I forgot. I'm too high to be alive right now, let alone be on the Internet.

Stompers

A new species of humans on an island known as Singapore produced by the Government's media development authority. Basically, petty people whom are really, REALLY obsessed with phone cameras and anything that captures an image, tries to take pictures of anything including breastfeeding mothers to people not giving up seats to the elderly. Haunts public transport system or anywhere that is public.

Stool

1. A small (usually) 3 legged chair without a back
2. What the doctor might ask for from a person with bowel problems
3. Absolutely nothing to do with pigeons
4. A contrivance to determine if a person is a witch - usually together with lots of water :D
5. Falling between a pair can be the cause of trauma

Storm Petrel

Filling up the car in bad weather

Story of O

An erotic story about the letter O. It came after the rudeVoyage of N and was followed by the dirty Road Movie of P.

Stragedy

To plan to fail, which if succesful negates the whole process or 'stragedem'. A form of self-sabotage . popularised by the "Bee Gee's" hit single 'Stragedy'. "It's a stragedy , When the feelings on and you will go wrong , It's a stragedy".

Strapadictomy

Inexpensive form of plastic surgery popular with lesbians.

Strap on

Device used by women because they have "no parts"("strap on" spelt backwards)

Strawmanification

Strawmanification is the art of either turning a person into straw, or turning their arguments into straw in order to win. This is known as a great and powerful debating style. See Strawman

Strawberry milk cow

A cow, or heifer, used for the sole purpose of manufacturing strawberry milk. The cows are a light pink color, and are fed on a consistent diet of organic strawberries.

Strcprstskrzkrk

Could I please buy a vowel? Correct it is: "strč prst skrz krk" and it has vwls! R in czech can be used as a vowl.

In Serbian too! i.e. "Srb"

Streamlined

The process by which something is made ergonomic, except on a much larger scale.

Street Value

An attempt to evaluate the price of drugs seized by the authorities to see if it is worth selling them on to new users.

String Theory

A theory that the true length of a string is twice the length of half of it. While some may give the answer as unknown, it has long been conjectured that the length of a string can be determined through experimentation of folding a piece in half and measuring, then doubling the measurement to give an accurate representation of its correct length.

• See: Is the bear a Catholic? & Does the pope shit in the woods?

Stroke

1. -v.- To genly rub, to caress

(e.g.) "Little J.J. Stroked himself."

2. -adj.- An individual who carelessly comitts themselves to mindless acts of stupidity, or, a derogitory term form someone who you want to "make fun of", a fucking idiot

(e.g.) "Stroke!" "You are the biggest stroke I have ever seen."

Also see... "Spork" "Skort" "Spook"

Strong force

Strong Force: that force which differentiates Jedi from other people. As in 'The Force is Strong in this one', when talking about a Jedi. Or 'The Force is Weak in this other one', when talking about You.

Stonking

Derived from the Old Austrian word Schtonkking , Stonking in English means anything that is bigger than huge but smaller than large. See also Binormous and Ginormous.

Struttle

When you come into the same path as someone coming from the opposite direction and you both keep going in the same direction to get by, and so keep blocking each other. Must occur at least twice to be a struttle. The need for this word was realized in 1976.

Study

Studies - v. - to learn sh_t

eg: Sally studies sea men by the sea shore

Studying: Student + dying.

Stupid

A. A mental property possessed by the majority of the humans on Earth.

B. Homer Simpson.

C. You. Sometimes me, depending on the context.

Style

Hilarious and unrealistic perception of self or other. (see stale)

Subcontinent

Hold up there pardner! That ain't no cont-ee-nent! Whats youse got's theres is a big ol' country!

Sublime

A metaphysical train station at one end of the Sublime-Ridiculous rail line. Tickets are valid only one way.

Submarine

A thing that is long, hard, and full of seamen. Submarines penetrate Mother Earth's oceans.

Also, a nickname for Dan Ostby's betrothed. The submarine has many magical powers, including drinking more than anyone who is not a submarine, and also being good with her Nintendog, on a pink Nintendo DS.

A submarine's preferred method of transportation is actually a brownish-colored Saab turbo with an Swedish-Naval designed exhaust that can double as a rain gutter in the most dire monsoon circumstances.

A submarine's natural enemy is static cling. It's a vicious beast that often travels in packs. They feed on submarine parts, like the porthole and also the rudders.

Substance Abuse

A disadvantaged bag of heroin that has been mistreated by a bad opium mother.

Substance over Form

A rhetorical turn-of-phrase used by Sophists to mislead their opponent about Plato's philosophy and the true importance of Form.

Substitute

Opposite of Prostitute

Subwoofer

Evil being from the almost beginning of times. Pretends to be a human invention. Lurks in cars and homes to eat your cat.

Sucker

John Travolta is one.

Suckit and Sea

Holiday advice for sex tourists heading to Thailand.

Sugar

1. Used to sweeten food 2. Another word for Kisses, often said to children. Example: Give me some sugar.

See also KISS

Sugar Puffs

Breakfast cereal you could also roll up and smoke later.

Sugar Smacks

A popular breakfast cereal. Most of its popularity appears to be down to it containing unrefined Heroin. A replacement, Sugar Methadone, was briefly sold from 1988-89, but failed because people would try it for a while and then go back to the original.

Sugar Sugar

A song now banned in hospital waiting rooms set aside for diabetics.

Sun God

Sun God is a term composed of two capitalized English words. It can be found in typed, written, and spoken varieties. Its usage is outlawed in Belgium.

Sunni

An Islamic member of the Islamic branch of islamic Islamism that accepts the first 4 islamic qqalfzzawq as islamical and as islamic successors to the islamical Mohammed. (c. f. #Shiiite)

Super Bowl

A cereal bowl that has been granted supernatural powers to fight the forces of evil.

Supercalofragilisticexpialodocius

(Spelling is often disputed) 1.Mary Popins favorite word 2.Used as a chant for many supernatural cults 3.A favorite bonus spelling word for all teachers 4.Somtimes mistaken for the longest word, witch is actually hydroindastaficalinamicastrophenomiulicarlydesporatausincondisenduios (see unword)

Super Giant Slime

height is 500 meters and weight is 500 tons. It is seen well in the ski area.

Superglue

To put it in Lehman's terms, simply, it's super, and it's glue. Hence the catchy title, superglue. Mainly used for reasons of gluing in a super-like fashion, baking, Nazi party crashing, and the occasional orgy. Ask your doctor if super-glue is right for you.

Superhuman

A being with superpowers, such as the power to turn into President Nixon at will. Bob Barker has this power.

Superiority Complex

• Refers to a subconscious neurotic mechanism that tells the suffering individual that he, she or it is a supreme idiot.
• A block of luxury apartments designed for the rich.

Super Junior

A group of 13 evil robots disguised as attractive young men who sing and dance, for the sole hidden purpose of spreading the deadly virus Fangirlia. Directed by their feminine leader Heechul.

Supermarkets

plural n. The final step in overprocessing food before it is eaten my the consumer.

plural n.2 markets frequented by Superman because they are certified Kryptonite-free.

Supernatural

Synonymous with very natural, often used to express distaste. i.e "That's supernatural!" is the same as saying "That's too damn mundane!".

Suppository

A handy place for you to keep your suppositions.

Suppository Furniture

Furniture that comes in a flat pack and you put up yourself.

Supreme Dictator For Life

Invented by Calvin of GROSS, the title Supreme Dictator-for-Life is given to absolute rulers of countries, continents, and prepubescent anti-girl clubs.

Supreme Dictator For Life

Invented by Calvin of GROSS, the title Supreme Dictator-for-Life is given to absolute rulers of countries, continents, and prepubescent anti-girl clubs.

Surgeon General

The Surgeon General is the commander-in-chief of the US Army Surgical Corps. In the event of war, the corps will deploy cigarettes, salt-laden junk food and other medically-nasty substances against America's enemies.

Surrealism

When three half-blighted fish dance upon a frozen cone of solar dust, the clock may strike eleven twenty two. If it does not, Lenin may be dreaming.

Suspenders of Disbelief

Religion.

Suspicion Bridge

A card game for three cheats and a dummy.

Swag

Swag is often sought after by pirates, burglers and thieves. Swag usually consists of a bag filled with useless trinkets.

Swatch

Swatch is a company that makes watches worn in vaginas. This company makes a lot of different ones, see www.swatch.com for more information. A Swatch watch is supposed to be worn inside the pussy instead of on the clitoris. This is a trademark for Swatch watches.

E.G. A girl walks through town and asks a lady for the time, she pulls down her pants and starts fisting and the girl knows it might be a Swatch watch.

WARNING! Once bought a (remarkably big) swatch. they make you have TEN of those watches put up your hole to make sure you have a real pussy.

Swede

A large spherical root vegetable, fibrous on the inside and waxy on the outside, named for the Northern European people it closely resembles.

Swedish Nudist Movement

An early precursor to the Scandinavian mafia. Also a popular euphemism for the the United Nations' Human Rights Council.

Swedish Roulette

A variant of russian roulette in which the guns are replaced for put-it-togheter-yourself furniture, which will then be thrown in turns.

Sweet, sweet marrow

1. The creamy, chocolaty centre of a Tootsie roll.
2. The meaty intestines of the Tootsie roll owl, extracted by a frustrated little boy.
3. The expression "To roll in the sweet, sweet marrow" is used in Hong Kong slang to refer to bungee jumping.
4. The frustrated little boy's soft, chewy bone center. Best served with ketchup.

Swiss Miss

A famous international incident that took place in 1784, when Switzerland attempted to invade Morocco using an army of unemployed blacksmiths. As they headed north instead of south, they missed their target, and became the laughingstock of Europe. To this date, Switzerland remains a neutral state because they are still sulking over their military failure.

The company Swiss Miss, which takes its name from the nation's misadventure, founded California.

Swiss guard

An elite ladyboy squadron, originally from the planet Switzerland (also known as Edam) feared for their fencing skills and crack cuckoo clock marksmanship. Exiled by the gnomes of Zurich for being 'a bit too interesting', the Swiss Guard took up residence in the Vatican, after being invited in by the Grand Pope Tarkin, who mistook them for a roaming troupe of court jesters.

Swiss navy knife

The Swiss navy knife is just a handle with no knives. VERY useful for killing people by making them rofl.

Synaesthesia

• The ultimate transcendence to an astral plane, sought by hippies, people with dreadlocks, and even Ozzy Osbourne. Synaesthesia is achieved via the absorption of various flavors of special medicine. This special medicine is often legally restricted to athletes, members of rock bands and anyone else who is considered cool.
• Name of an album by Pink Floyd, synaesthesia lives up to its name by sounding entirely [[button]].

Syndrome

An airport for evil people.

Synonym

• The antonym of Antonym.
• A confabulation acquiring the equivalent or approaching the equivalent significance as another in the tongue.

Syntax

Syntax are very painful and will send you straight to hell unless you step on them in the proper order. The only way you may be saved is direct absolution by a Pope or by Noam Chomsky. Those opposing Generalitivist models of syntax have been known to disappear from the face of the planet by the hands of Chomskyan death-squads, headed by Generals Pesetsky and Grevious.

“Syntactic sugar causes cancer of the thyroid.”

~ Oscar Wilde

“It's cancer of the semicolon, dumbfuck.”

~ Dick Cheney

Synthesizer

A weird keyboard shaped thing that can make very good fart-like noises and is usually associated with nerds. It is believed that the Red Indians used them to torture dogs with very loud high squeals, so high that the Red Indians couldn't actually hear them. Famous bands that used synthermasizers were: Mozart, Beethoven, Krapwerk, Aphex Mentalist, Jon Michael Jar and Flangelis.

Syringe

Syringe: A medical instrument to inject someone. It has a plunger to draw the liquid out of the syringe and into the needle. The needle can be put into a body to inject the liquid into the body.

This is used in the porno industry often. The woman fills up the syringe with crystal clear water and injects the male his upper arm with this water so he can come more often.

The female almost always wears a wristwatch on her right wrist to keep the time for injecting the liquid. This is most likely a Swatch wristwatch, because Swatch sponsors the Needle factory in Sweden.

Syslop

A careless administrator, also known as a Sly Sloppy.

Systems Analyst

A computer tech comparing the strengths and weaknesses of Playstation, Wii and XBox why pretending to fix an email glitch.

Syzygy

Syzygy is only ever used by desperate but sneaky bastards during games of scrabble to get fifty-bazillion points on the triple word score, and you didn't even know that there were that many 'y' or 'z' tiles in the game. And then they show you the god-damned word syzygy in the dictionary - both in Webster's and the Oxbridge dictionaries. Sheesh.

It is not uncommon for the usage of the word syzygy to be cited as "unjust provocation" in the cases of post-scrabble homicides.