Dessert
“It's the healthiest meal of the day.”
Dessert in Cuisine[edit | edit source]
Not to be confused with desert, dessert is a sweet (rather than savoury) delicacy eaten at a meal after the soup, appetizer, and main course. Some desserts go well with ice cream, whereas others don't. Dessert is the best brain food. I have of course just copied this from the plagerous Wikipedia, and so should be shot immediately.
The origins of Dessert[edit | edit source]
Dessert was invented in the year 1957 by a typical set of American parents called Charlie and Brian who weren't able to control their children with correct discipline. The father, Brian, hit upon an ingenious idea to force his children to finish their vegetables. Brian said "you can't have dessert until you've finished eating your brocolli, Robert!" (Robert being the name of one of the children). The reply came quickly. "What's dessert, Daddy?" "It's the best part of the meal, Robert," he replied. "Eat up quickly and you'll find out."
Of course, Bobby (short for Robert, the child's name) ate up very quickly, and waited patiently for his father's prize. His father spoke quietly to his mother (the boy's mother, not the father's), and they both got up and left the table, going into the kitchen. Many hours later, Robert was still waiting. The father and mother had literally desserted them, finding parenthood far too hard. This is the reason why Americans aren't allowed to have children.
To commemorate this occasion, children now eat sweets and cakes and ice-cream at all times of the day and night, while police wonder where all the children came from, and immigration officials make a fortune selling sweets. What a nice story that was! He Fucked me hard
Dessert Island[edit | edit source]
The Dessert Island is an island consisting of a small volcanic mountain of fruit and sugar. It is located off the coast of British Columbia adjacent to The Savoury Island. Traditionally, mutinous sailors are left stranded to die on one of the two islands. In 841.7 BC, Henry VIII's mum was left stranded on The Dessert Island for trying to steal the captain's parrot. She survived on the Dessert Island by slowly eating her way through it, but was forced to stop when she reached a layer of coffee in the Earth's hot-crust (which is normally filled with lava-like molten cheese). She was eventually rescued|apprehended by agents of the CIA, and taken back to Henry VIII, who ate her.