Foreplay

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Foreskin?

In case you didn't know, that guy's about to get some strawberry cake

So you wanna know what Foreplay is.. well you just come over HERE you little fella and I'll show you exactly WHAT it's all about... What, did you REALLY think I was gonna let you dry over there and not TELL YOU WHAT IT MEANS?! Nooo.. It's just that this concept is sooo interesting... I thought you'd never ask.. So here we go (and try to be patient darling... I don't want you to end up not knowing EXACTLY what FOREPLAY means in EVERY DETAIL, so don't rush me or anything, will you dear reader..?) OKAY THEN, here we go!

What IS foreplay?[edit | edit source]

The meaning of foreplay[edit | edit source]

Why don't we DELVE into the DEEPER MEANING of foreplay...

First, are you comfortable? Because I wouldn't want you to be reading this article about FOREPLAY if you're not totally relaxed and all comfortable and not excited by ANYTHING what so ever dear reader. Those titles for instence, would you consider them too unconventional?...I REALLY wouldn't want you to be inside this little paragraph an not be comfortable because the titles make you feel all CONFUSED AND NERVOUS...so you know what? We'll just decide to SLIDE gently out of this paragraph ...even before we REALLY GOT INTO IT..just you move to the next paragraph dear reader...if you accept this I will continue to DO THIS with you..alright, here we go...

...Okay, dear reader. You're totally prepared for the next phase...What is this foreplay really? Well, in order to deeply understand the FOREPLAY we must try to stop beating around the bush and get a grope of the term.

The REAL AND TRUE meaning of foreplay[edit | edit source]

Foreplay is mostly an ORAL WORD, derived from the French term Four Pluie, which means "Rain in the Oven," or in simple English, "Wet Pussy." This indicates some DEEP CONNECTION of the term of Foreplay to the term of kitten huffing, which leaves the huffed kittens rather WET and COVERED WITH GOO. The wet pussy could point at many other directions of interpretation of the term, such as the OBVIOUS FACT that it ends with the word "lay." This is clearly to show us that FOREPLAY is something that has to end with the person who is getting laid; that could INDICATE, perhaps, that foreplay is actually a VERY LONG AND TIRING squash game that requires a LONG NAP after it's over.

When one should USE foreplay[edit | edit source]

A rare instance of FOREPLAY BEFORE A MEAL

OH GOD, READ ME SOME MORE!!!

"Copping a feel" Vulcan-style.

This is where it gets INTERESTING. Foreplay can be used for MANY DIFFERENT SITUATIONS, such as setting up a conversation, having an appetizer before a meal, or SEX. Needless to say, SEX is the most prevalent use of foreplay, mainly because ARROUSING a cheese stick is QUITE DIFFICULT TO DO...! Oh yes, this article is GREAT, isn't it?!

Famous INSTANCES of foreplay[edit | edit source]

Many times throughout history there have been SO MANY GREAT FOREPLAYS, that I can't even BEGIN to describe. Many of them have to do with FORCED SEX, or rape. However, some of them are actually kind of funny, SUCH AS WITH GENGHIS KHAN of Mongolia. It is said that he died in bed WHILE HAVING SEX...imagine the WONDERFUL FOREPLAY he must have had for him to die from PURE ECSTACY...

OH YES, this article is making you wanna FUCKING READ MORE, isn't it...yeah, YOU LIKE THIS, YOU FILTHY LITTLE ARTICLE SLUT?! Well let's continue on our way...

WHY does foreplay OCCUR?[edit | edit source]

Foreplay helps to SET THE MOOD FOR WHAT'S ABOUT TO COME...because people are FUCKING HORNY SLUTS and just WANT IT SO FUCKING BADLY...and once properly arroused, YOU JUST CAN'T STOP, YOU HAFTA KEEP GOING, KEEP GOING, KEEP GOING...In and out...in and out...IN AND OUT.... And once you realize that you forgot to wear condoms, IT'S ALREADY TOO LATE....you're gonna get an STD...BUT YOU JUST DON'T CARE; KEEP GOING, KEEP GOING, KEEP GOOIIINGGG.....IT'S COMING OUT, IT'S COMING OUUUTTT....

And then...ahhhhhhh....

...Good night, sweetie.