UnNews:Main Page

Welcome to UnNews Powered by the suffering of an immortal child!

Saturday, December 6, 2025, 16:39 (UTC) How to Write UnNews • UnNews Archives • About Us • Random News

• Main Page
• Editorial
• Funnies
• U.S. Politics
• Sports
• Religion

Elon Musk doesn't care whether Max wakes up Walking MAGA meme Elon Musk is urging people to cancel Netflix due to a long-canceled cartoon literally nobody has ever heard of and UnNews can't be bothered to look up. [Dead End: Paranormal Park, you lazy fuck! - Ed.] Musk posted on X: "Cancel Netflix for the health of your kids. Say no to the transgender woke agenda! Besides, there will be nothing worth watching on Netflix within the next three months. Nobody wants to see yet another Frankenstein. Guillermo del Toro peaked with Pacific Rim. And Nightmare Alley was so bad he should've been deported! Like I said, nothing worth watching on Netflix within the next three months. Mark my words!" Read more... Florida bill allows seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organ TALLAHASSEE, Florida — Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has signed sweeping new legislation intended to help seniors facing financial burdens: a new Florida law will now allow state residents aged 60 and up to hunt, dispatch and extract the skin and organs of young people under the age of 35. Seniors can choose to consume the collagen from the freshly pallid skin of slain zoomers, or harvest and sell their organs for a tidy profit. "Florida seniors have suffered the burden of property taxes, liver spots, uncomfortable dialysis chairs, not to mention the increasing price of sunscreen!" DeSantis stated in a press conference inside the Florida State Capitol building, "By allowing our most respected elders to humanely kill and process the bodies of young people—which I don't need to remind you contains thousands of dollars in organs, essential oils and collagen—we can help alleviate the burden on the generation which has done the most to build this state, and this nation as a whole." Read more...		Latest news North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island Elon Musk doesn't care whether Max wakes up 6-7 buildings in Hong Kong burn down due to being built 67% cheaper Starmer's approval rating sinks down by about six or seven points Russian ship shines laser pointer at British planes DeSantis signs Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and ... Russian economy on life support Starmer to ban reselling tickets Pennsylvania legalises flying cars Union City celebrated 250th anniversary of Marines Trump kills the penny Russia’s new humanoid robot faceplants on stage Thieves steal six seven Roman statues from Syrian National Museum Ayy mon, they be da Hurricane in Jamaica! UK sends so-called “military experts” to Belgium to deal with drone attacks A new candidate enters 2028 Presidential race A dingo ate my baby Interview: A Brief Chat About Uncyclopedia with Uncyclopedian and Lucky Star Over 1000 flights cancelled due to US government shutdown GD creator postpones 2.3 again. Mark Sanchez buttfumbles again US Government shits itself Trump gets COVID booster shot despite supporters making their entire personaliti... Keir Starmer announces plans for new data harvesting scheme Trump declares war on escalators Nigel Farage asked nicely to stop lifting children UnNews state-sponsoredly remembers Charlie Kirk Man eats salmon sliders, doesn't know they're basically salmon burgers Sheeranism becomes legally recognized in the United States Angela Rayner defects to Reform NFL teams replace their female cheerleaders with gay dudes Donald Trump presents new science project to Cabinet You're too young to read this article Trump announces plan to "retake DC... Comics" Local Florist Gets Arrested After DUI Crash Leaves Victim in Critical Condition Keir Starmer to place national ban on VPNs Trump fires Zakk Wylde from Black Label Society Birthday Bash Takes a Dive: Helicopter Meets Hudson River Trump sends condolences to "Ozzie Nelson," "Paul Hogan," "Luigi Mangione" Jury convicts Minnesota lawmaker Nicole Mitchell of burglary after lawyer is una... » Older news
Africa Asia South America North America Europe Middle East Oceania
Write an article! Simply enter the headline in the box below and click the button to create your own UnNews article! Guide to UnNews	Headlines (Add) Click a headline to make a story! Van Halen: 'Very possible there was a war crime committed' in Venezuela boat strike Keir Starmer to be replaced Trump sends condolences to "Lon Chaney" Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump work together to resurrect Jeffrey Epstein Next Dalai Lama will be from Chicago	Horoscopes (See all) Your horoscope for today: On Wednesday, a friend tells you to take a box of tissues when you go to see 12 Years A Slave. Weird, cos in the end, you don't need to wank once. Refresh
About UnNews UnNews is a project of the Uncyclomedia Foundation. It spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.	This day in news... 6 December 2022: Scooby-Doo Named Acting Director of Division of Enforcement 6 December 2019: Study reveals millions of American voters voted faithlessly in 2016 6 December 2016: Santa Claus' body found floating in the ocean 6 December 2013: Mandela deathbed 'an absolute disgrace' 6 December 2011: Study:New study fails to show that most studies are inconclusive 6 December 2010: US backs "Do Not Rape" list 6 December 2009: Revolutionary 4-stroke engine runs on screaming 6 December 2008: OJ Simpson found guilty, sentenced to fifteen years in a resort hotel 6 December 2007: Wife of Darwin claims she knew he would come again, claims wife. 6 December 2006: Bible mistranslated; Conan to inherit the earth	Stories with Audio UnNews remembers Michelle Trachtenberg President Partons turkey UnNews remembers Phil Spector Strait Country is Rolling Stone's Gayest Album of All Time Tips to avoid the coronavirus North Korea to separate onto their own island (More • Podcast)
UnNews in Other Languages UnNews English InciNoticias Español UnNews Deutsch OnNieuws Nederlands NonNews Polski Desnotícias Português Nonnotizie Italiano Hikinews Suomi 偽基新聞 ‪正體中文 백괴뉴스 한국어 dÉsinformation Français Psyknyheter Svenska Ikkenytt Norsk バ科ニュース 日本語 ไร้ข่าว ไทย איןחדש עברית 伪基新闻 简体中文 UncikloNews Magyar YanHaber Türkçe PekeBalita Tagalog
Sister projects Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia. UnNews News on crack Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia Undictionary Best left unsaid UnTunes Noisy things UnGames Ways to waste away HowTo Like Ikea without the pictures UnBooks Content-free books Unquotable Useless misquotes Uncycloversity No student loans UnPoetia Dreams deferred UnDebate Debate the irrelevant UnScripts We ruin stage too Why? Because UnReviews Hack frauds UnVoyage Armchair travel Uncyclomedia The Foundation