User talk:Romartus/Archive6

Past Imperial Glory and Shame

• Archive1
• Archive2
• Archive3
• Archive4
• Archive5
• Archive6

Please post comments etc below. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:25, July 28, 2010 (UTC)

I like your name

That's all... --Matfen 17:26, July 28, 2010 (UTC)

Summer Reading

UnNews:Athlete stripped of medal at the European Athletics Championship

Is this story based on real news? Is there a handy image we could steal? or a real name of an organizer of the Championships, so the quote doesn't have to be anonymous? I've asked the author, but he's so new he might not know how to reply. I want to get this broadcast today. Spıke ¬ 15:28 31-Jul-10

Forget it, it's broadcast and mostly good. Separately, thanks for playing with the links and wording of St. Columbo. Now, are you going to vote on VFD? Spıke ¬ 04:07 1-Aug-10

Hi Spike. I was out yesterday so didn't read the message until Sunday. I wasn't aware there had been a drug story at the European Athletics championship, I hadn't been watching it (bad me). As for the St.Columbo story, I'll vote as a keep once I head off there. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 09:35, August 1, 2010 (UTC)

Sir Romartus!

Congratulations on your shiny new Foolie. I hope it makes up for the abuse you've taken in the last couple of weeks. Spıke ¬ 10:58 1-Aug-10

Thanks Spike. Appreciate that and your support too in a difficult month. I went on the chat channel and spoke to Dex,Ape,EMC and Hype. We had a good chat - which perhaps goes to show that writing messages on the user pages here can sometimes increase drama rather than reduce it. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:29, August 1, 2010 (UTC)

A boss asserted to me in the late 'eighties, near the start of the e-mail era, that cold words on a page (even now that we can add bold, italics, and emoticons) above all amplify misunderstanding. Even cold words in a chat bear the possibility of an instant clarification. Spıke ¬ 11:41 1-Aug-10

Going Soft on UnNews - a case for Viagra

Dude! Going soft on a news story, humm, almost sounds like a cop-out. I never thought about that before. I just thought the absurd to playing up the reverse of a story, or absurd exaggeration. I just try for the reverse, and throw in some ironic truth too. Did you see Fatima asks UnWikiAnswers? I like it, but don't know if anyone else will. I think it's a short but complete article. PLUS - I'd love your opinion of me mate, Jeff Beck (as I finally did it after 3 years of planning, and made it Jeff Beck Illustrated). I may be hearing from him about it shortly - hehe, as he knows by now (not that he gives a rats arse about Uncyclopedia, when he's a star in the real world, not hiding nonnoterity behind some UN). Also I was contacted by the British Editor of Ugly Things Music Magazine (ref them on Wikipedia) who blasted me for what you wrote about Yardbirds having no charisma, which he (and I) totally disagree with. So I pleaded innocent! And made a few adjustment to keep the fans happy. I think the votes on Keith will slowly pick up. My last FA was one month in the line up before getting enough votes, luckily 16-0, of which I'm proud, but not half as proud as the votes being the likes of you, Sog, Al, etc. That's really something to get a Romy vote. Yeah! Cheers!--Funnybony    22:39, Aug 1

Thanks for the message. I'll check your links. I was amused by the comments from the magazine Ugly Things about the Yardbirds. Did you tone down my comments! Compared to most groups of the 60s, the Yardbirds were a great band but I think the charisma think was one thing they didn't really project because they preferred the music to be their 'Yardstick' [The Yardsticks - a tribute band] when it cames to what they were about.

Does mean Uncyclopedia has at least some new readers! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:47, August 2, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Rom, Sure, I toned it a bit, but did not lose your points. The Yardbirds were simply a vehicle for god to play lead, there by inventing heavy metal, and having an "attitude" party. I mean, Spinal Tap was more of a Jeff Beck spoof than anything else. Yes, new readers, I know Jim Mc, Yardbirds drummer and Jeff have read the Yardbirds page, but had no comment. I think its pretty respectful article. But it might bring back painful memories to them. Hey, tough shit. It only has to be funny. And the Yardbirds saga, with a bit of exaggeration is funny. Hehe! Sure, please take a look a Jeff Beck and please DO contribute. BTW: Congrats on the Foolitzer - you surely earned it!. Cheers!--Funnybony    11:40, Aug 3

I can't see what I can add to your Beck article. My only query is should there be an UnBook article and a more biographical version for readers who don't know Jeff Beck from a bottle of Becks. Just an idea. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:55, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

Sure, The Jeff Beck Illustrated. Its kinda like with Keith. What we listed is really just about the whole freakin' story. If anyone reads all the bios on Jeff, the things they would remember I have given. That is the essential Jeff Beck. There is nothing else to him, apart from hearing his music, and "You Had It Coming" is his greatest album ever in the blow-your-mind-what-the-fuck-instrument-is-he-playing category. Besides this I don't want to add boring side-facts that aren't funny (such as mentions of me in all his bios). That was the same idea we had with Keith, just condense his life to one page. That's not just what he remembers, its what everyone remembers.. hehe! But if you can think of any funnies please add to Jeff. Hows it, dude! Cheers!--Funnybony    17:53, Aug 3

Romy, I followed your advice, added more funny facts, plus a live YouTube of Jeff last year (age 66 or somethin') - bloody 'ell, mate! Then made into an UnBook. And blamed you. No, really, I did it. Its now UnBooks:Jeff Beck Illustrated. Cheers!--Funnybony    20:52, Aug 3

FFS

.....use your PREVIEW button, man.... ;) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Ok sorry. Thanks for the warning. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 10:33, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

Its not a big issue, just that when people are scanning Recent Changes for naughty activity its a pain in the arse to have to scroll through at the best of times. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Hi

Hi. I'm Yettie. Nice to meet you. - [22:36 3 August 2010] PlebYettie

I shake your paw Yettie. I guess that is a version of YTTE! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:01, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

I have three paws, you need to specify which one. This is important. It is a test of your paw-identifying skills. And hey. It is indeed a version of YTTE. Is it just me or are you new? Or am I just loosing my memory? And when I say new, joined in the last year or so? - [10:15 4 August 2010] PlebYettie

Joined December 2008. At first just wrote a lot of stuff before engaging with the rest of the community. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:19, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

Ah I see. I joined February 2008. That was my most active year and then 2009 was a washout with periods of MIA followed by short-lived returns. Still, here I am back. At least for a day. May I offer you a cup of tea? - [15:03 4 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

You can. Two teabags thank you. One for taste and the other as a teabag chaser or a Sarah Palin as it is also called.--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:06, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, isn't that what the kids are calling the international phenomenon of putting lipstick on vaginas to make them look like mouths? Or is that just what I've been reading... /me passes over the tea with relevant teabags. - [16:35 4 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Yellow Wong

I decided to look at the page a little more closely and see if I can do some time machine work on it. I don't know how far I'll get since it is already on VFH, but we'll see. I really do appreciate your feedback. User:Mrthejazz/sig 11:35, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

As you made a link to Little Black Sambo - then that would be the way to go regards framing the language in the same sort of style. This is my suggestion but perhaps your article will get votes in favour anyway. As I said on your page, this will be a difficult trick to pull off without (in my view) making your article appear to be offensive. It's a difficult call and at the moment I am a bit perplexed what to suggest though my own view is that the central pivot of the joke is to expose the writer's naive racism. On the scale of things, LBS isn't bad or intentionally cruel but it was used by others to abuse those of African descent. It would be the same if it was about other ethnic or religious groups. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:28, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Simple question

I would like to hear an in-depth explanation as to why you dislike Anal Sex. I'm not trying to sway a vote or anything, but I would like to know why you consider it juvenile beyond the title. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 17:07, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

/me walks in giggling and walks out again. I assume that's an article on VFH? Otherwise it's a fairly out of the blue question...and quite personal. But yes, carry on, ignore me. - [17:09 5 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Simple answer

As Andorin is the author of the article (Anal Sex) he can ask me directly TKF. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:12, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

'Kay. So? --Andorin Kato 18:24, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

So what do you want to ask me Andorin? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:33, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

I would like to hear an in-depth explanation as to why you dislike Anal Sex. I'm not trying to sway a vote or anything, but I would like to know why you consider it juvenile beyond the title. --Andorin Kato 18:34, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Hmmm. I think I have read that request somewhere else. What is your own question Andorin - is it the same one you asked on Sycamore's page the first time this article was put up for a feature? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:42, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Your immaturity is remarkably predictable. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 18:44, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Really? I see two people ask me exactly the same question. Is that not immature?? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:47, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

How so? --Andorin Kato 18:49, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

How so? -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 18:50, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Case proven. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:54, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

I can't help but notice that the original question- which is valid- remains unanswered. --Andorin Kato 18:55, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

But whose question as you both have the same one? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:57, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

This is beginning to sound like Through the Looking Glass. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 18:59, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

It doesn't matter. We both have the same question- a concern that is not in itself invalid. --Andorin Kato 18:59, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Twiddle-dee, twiddle-dum, o frabjous day, just answer both their questions in the order they were received. Sir MacMania GUN—[19:01 5 Aug 2010]

But our concern in validity is invalid! His invalid concern in invalidity questions whose concern is concernable. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 19:03, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

I agree with whatever tkf just said. It sounds clever. - [19:03 5 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Andorin has to come up with his own question which can't be the same TKF's. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 19:06, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, it can. Also, why did you remove Yes's comment? --Andorin Kato 19:06, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Who removed what unless there was an edit conflict in the flurry. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 19:14, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

You're dodging the question. What is it about anal sex that forces you to vote against it? --Andorin Kato 19:15, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Now that's two questions. Anyway I didn't force myself to vote against it, I just didn't think it was a feature. I didn't find it personally funny , perhaps if it can been about Canal Sex , I would have reconsidered. But it wasn't, so I didn't. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 19:18, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

What is canal sex? --Andorin Kato 19:28, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Al fresco by a man made waterway. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 19:30, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

So what you're saying is 1) a bunch of meaningless tautologies that don't explain anything, and 2) you voted against because you'd rather vote for a completely different nonexistent article. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 19:33, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

No I don't see (1) as you did both ask me the same question. And (2) Canal Sex wasn't on offer so I couldn't vote for it. It would be easy to edit the existing article to replace anal with canal but then this isn't ?pedia is it? And...why are you chasing me all over my page as regards a valid vote of opinion? Can I do the same to your page next time?? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 19:40, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Be my guest. So can you explain how any of these statements aren't irrefutable in their meaninglessness?

“I just didn't think it was a feature.”

~ Oscar Wilde

“I didn't find it personally funny.”

~ Oscar Wilde

“I didn't force myself to vote against it.”

~ Oscar Wilde

Right now it sounds like you either didn't read or don't understand a word of the article, based on your canal comment. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 19:44, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, but you're doubting Oscar Wilde. Just had to make sure that this atrocity didn't go unmentioned. Sir MacMania GUN—[19:51 5 Aug 2010]

Did Oscar say anything about canal sex? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 20:00, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Er, look at the quotes. Last time I checked (like, er, as I write this), they were said by Oscar Wilde. Sir MacMania GUN—[20:01 5 Aug 2010]

Shame. Oscar's views would have been welcome in this discussion. Perhaps Lewis Carroll's too. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 20:33, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Or Mr Brunel ... Sir MacMania GUN—[20:38 5 Aug 2010]

Blimey, all this fuss. For my money, "I didn't find it funny" is a valid against reason. If you don't find it funny, you vote accordingly. Humour is subjective, remember? --UU - natter 12:00, Aug 6

Yes it's quite remarkable? I put it down to the Atlantic and my canal sex joke. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:38, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

I'd normally find it sufficient too but this "canal sex" thing implies that there's a bigger air of "I don't know what I'm talking about" than he's letting on. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 15:14, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

I know about dogs not leaving a bone alone but as for frogs..? Do you have shares in this article to pursue my reasons so much??--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:22, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

Does it really matter? Like I said, you can badger me if you don't like a vote of mine and I'll give you a straight answer. I just am not following any of your reasoning at all. It's barely about the article anymore, now I'm just curious to understand how your brain works in these situations.-- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 15:25, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

Well since I don't think I have questioned another user's vote (or if I did, it's a long time ago), then I wouldn't ask how your brain works as regards a vote TKF. Isn't that just a tad rude? So we find different things funny - big deal. I am happy with that but you don't seem to be. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:44, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

Simple explanation

Damn, these are personal questions. Sometimes it hurts, OK? And Romartus may have a tight end-around. But he's sensitive about it, and slightly ashamed. Leave Romartus alone! (tip. Lots of lube, and you have to relax into it). Aleister 19:21 5 8

That sounds more like impalement. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 19:31, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

It's no fun impaling people with lube. Trust me. - [19:47 5 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

That's no comparison to the time when I slipped over a puddle of spikes. Spikes get surprisingly slippery when you get to know them. Sir MacMania GUN—[19:49 5 Aug 2010]

Now we're bringing SPIKE into it? Is there no end to this cruelty? Red Aleister 19:52 5 8

We're just getting started. Romartus, to continue your education in U.S. civics, now see Impeachment. Spıke ¬ 11:40 8-Aug-10

And I can educate you too about living under a hereditary monarchy too! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:42, August 8, 2010 (UTC)

Biiiiiiiiiiig winner!

	Foolitzer Prize Winner July 2010

Tag you're it!

This is not my fault, well actually it is. No tags back, according to that guy in chains. —DAMN WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [12:56 8 August 2010]

Awesome!

Congratulations on your winning the Foolitzer. It is truly well deserved. Please keep up thegreat work, comrade. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 18:42, August 9, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks Zim. I will keep this honour in a draw. I am bit disappointed that I haven't come up with a new story this week. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:33, August 10, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks!

I am eternally grateful! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 11:25, 10 August 2010

Eternity here Socky lasts about five minutes but I thought it was a feature. Well done! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:32, August 10, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Rom, is THIS Ready?

Hey, thanks for fixing up the news. Please do so more often. Here's the guitar hero spoof on Jeff, kind the opposite of Keith, coz Jeff can still remember who ripped him off in grade school. And play awesome, as his 2009 YouTube shows him at age 66 (and Jeff FINALLY has it right, with Jimmy on rhythm - hehe!). He's always wanted to be "IT". Well, in this article he's it. I added more funny facts, and got help to make it colorful. Please take a look.

I don't know what it is about Keith, People seem to have forgotten him. But there is also the human factor. You're a picky voter - as unfair as it sounds - people tend to vote yes for those who vote yes for them. You happen to vote no a lot, which limits the amount of yes voters a bit. Or so it may be. It's a bummer, and its a bit true. As you already know. But don't stop being picky. Its needed. A dirty job but someone has to do it. Anyway, Keith is a funny, neat, and original article to be proud of. Yay, Jeff! Cheers!--Funnybony    22:06, Aug 10

I think the UnBooks:Jeff Beck Illustrated looks ready and I will nominate it this week as the queue seems to have gone down. I am disappointed that the Keith Richards article has fallen one short for a VFH but that's the way it goes I am afraid. Regards voting, I prefer to stay true to what I think about an article rather than voting in favour because I like the writer personally or have got on well with him or her in here. I know this may not help garner votes for anything I write but I personally prefer this approach. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 06:18, August 11, 2010 (UTC)

I certainly respect your point. If everyone voted like you it would be more fair, much more fair. Nevertheless, as Freddy sang, "Friends will be friends, right to the end!" which means I'll always vote for you - not the least because you're a great writer. Cheers!--Funnybony    08:48, Aug 11

But don't hesitate to vote against if you don't like it. I was just thinking that perhaps Aleister could nom your article as I don't want to damage your chances as regards a VFH. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:44, August 11, 2010 (UTC)

As a friend, if I didn't like something about a nommed article by you, I'd write you with my suggestion only. But your stuff rarely needs anything to improve. Please Nom Jeff. Far from hurting the chances, people will think, "Romartus likes this enough to Nom it!? Man, it MUST be good!" Really. And Al has too many Noms. But if you see anything in Jeff to fix please make any changes you like. I just added a section, Differences between Jeff and Jesus, that you might like too. Cheers!--Funnybony    17:15, Aug 11

Well, Rom! Its off to the races. But it's more an honor for me that you nommed it than even, possibly, getting an FA. Much thanks, regardless of the out income. I will benefit by helping any of your articles. It's a great learning opportunity for me to work with you. I'm a team player since the band. Without the band I would fall. United we stand. And then we see Stephen Hawking and he tells us, "Get, the fuck, down!" Jeez! Just when it was getting fun. Maybe he should be fired. Cheers!--Funnybony    10:04, Aug 12

I like working with other writers too and the result can be very good. I certainly enjoyed working with you on the Keith Richards story and I have done a couple of things with Spike too. Keep up the UnNews supply as I have been a bit distracted this week working on old article I had lying around for months. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:39, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

A letter from Filmmakers for Lens Flare

Thanks for supporting Lens flare! Sir MacMania GUN—[19:53 11 Aug 2010]

Right back at youEXTERMINATE!

Thanks for voting for Dalek! Sir MacMania GUN—[20:11 11 Aug 2010]

MC Shakespeare in teh house!

Can you help me write MC Shakespeare Gomphog 17:18, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

Depends on what you think the article should be. I see you have written out two raps so far. What about a biog? Who is MC Shakespeare for example?? I can try a fake biog for you (he came from the wrong side of Stratford-Upon-Avon, right next to the animal skinning sheds..etc.etc). I can in otherwords assist, improve or add but the main structure should be your article. Think about it. There is no rush. Sometimes I take months to finish off an article. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:34, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

Keith featured

Yay, bro! Way to go.. Cheers!--Funnybony    02:51, Aug 13

• Thanks Funnybony. Did it break the 10+ barrier? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:29, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

Actually it had 10 YES votes and one No vote. But the Powers-that-BE liked it, and the yes voters were of the caliber of Sog, so it made it. I'm happy to say. It was a pleasure. Jeff seems to have come too soon after Keith (perhaps) or, maybe, it needs more RomArtus input. I mean, you know all about Jeff, and there is a load to spoof about his life. Otherwise Jeff seems stuck. But never mind, 'cause Keith WAS featured. And my Payola just got featured on HowTo. And I wrote a "Quake Tourist" UnNews. Hehe! Cheers!--Funnybony    10:07, Aug 16

Congrats!!! Looks really good on the main page. Nice worksingsandall. Aleister 21:59 14 8

Your esteemed opinion

I've worked out some of the bugs on the feature objections to People Who Like to Fuck Naked, and would like to run it past you. The first pic and data on the main page would now be an explanation, a NSFW warning, and a harmless envelope. The bottom pic was changed out to a less objectionable and more funny one quite awhile ago, and hopefully enhanced language has improved the package. Would you gaze upon it for a minute if you have the time, and let me know if it overcomes your concerns from a few months ago. Thanks. Aleister 18:14 15 8

You're not going to like it Al. Hmmm. You know, I found the intro the funniest bit with the envelope. So ok now I have to accept people who fuck naked are weird fetishists where as everyone else does it...er how? With smoking jackets on?? lights off???, dressed as penguins??? Do you see my point???? I like the other cultural references referred to but it still has for me that fundamental problem, the looking glass world you are inviting a reader into the article doesn't quite make it for me yet. On a slightly left field thought, I did once read that during the Middle Ages everyone slept naked and that wearing clothes in bed was classified as indecent. I wish I could remember where I read this but I have always remembered it as an example how attitudes change. Anyway, it is greatly improved from where it was so that is progress for me. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 21:36, August 15, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for looking, and yes, I do it with a smoking jacket on. Are you psychic? And judging by the amount of sexual technique and information given to the public in school, on TV, radio, even in porn films, you'd think it was taboo to discuss, so I just take it a step further and make the practice abhorent too. Much of the stuff in the instruction section is new to me, so I wanted to put together a handy how-to guide in one place, which is the reason I've cared about this page. I like the middle-ages attitude, probably one thought of and perputrated by men. Thanks again for your perverted perusing. Al 15:31 16 8

I learnt about sex watching the wildlife documentary programmes. Filthiest shows on tv and if it was spiders being filmed at it, the female ate the lover too. The carnal and the cannibal. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:27, August 16, 2010 (UTC)

Bring me Chekhov's gun! No, not Pavel Chekov's phaser, you imbecile!

Thanks for voting for Chekhov's gun! Sir MacMania GUN—[17:15 16 Aug 2010]

And right back at you with an ありがとうございます

Thanks again for the vote! Sir MacMania GUN—[23:57 17 Aug 2010]

Guile

I see that not every request for clarification of criticism has gone over too well, but I figure I may as well pose my question directly. Why do you consider the article okay (you guess)? It's not that I give two shizas about whether or not you liked it, but I do desire to make it feature-worthy. You seem to make the same comment on every VFH you disapprove of: "not feature-worthy." Do you not find it to be worthy due to bad grammar/prose? I think its utilization of the English language exceeds such a nature. Is it not worthy due to the fact it does not concern academically relevant concepts? Maybe by title it does not, but I feel more than confident that I took a very linear video game character and transformed him in a literarily successful way. I do not mean to assume, I just wonder. Please though, be honest about why you do not see it as worthy. You seem very intelligent in terms of how to convey humor, so I look forward to hearing your insights.

S3ahawk 07:49, August 19, 2010 (UTC)

I am not familiar with this character or the game so what you have written and formatted looks ok in that sense. Also I can't see any grammatical errors or other issues that jar so it's fine there too. However, and I am only articulating my own view, I don't see it as a feature as that would for me need to go somewhere else with a story to make it a stand out. That is my subjective view - like saying I find X funny but not Y. I do not judge an article if it is only about 'academically relevant concepts' and have voted in favour of articles which I am sure don't fit that criteria - for example Hyperbole's absurdist but funny Suddenly, Raccoons. It's fine if you don't care 'two shizas' if I like it or not, I just personally don't think it's a feature. I am sure many others will like it a lot more than me and therefore the article will be featured. If I see an article by you I do personally like, I will vote in favour without a problem. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 08:20, August 19, 2010 (UTC)

I see, and I appreciate where you are coming from. Thank you for your clarification, and hopefully I can tickle your fancy with another article. Take it easy.

S3ahawk 08:37, August 19, 2010 (UTC)

No problem and I am glad you visiting and reading the other articles on the site. There are many good writers here but this site does also rely on other people to edit, check read and do many other things. Sometimes it can just be feeding an idea to another writer's work or adding a paragraph or two which then inspires them to carry on writing. Not everyone likes this approach but I think it works very well. So keep on writing and don't get discouraged if something you personally like doesn't gather all the necessary votes for a feature. My own view is that by the very act of writing and thinking about how to turn a good idea into a story can be very rewarding anyway and if others like it too, that's a bonus. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 08:57, August 19, 2010 (UTC)

Joyeux Noel

Thanks for voting for Evan Almighty! Hopefully you'll enjoy this free* existing** copy of Al Franken's Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations audiobook.

--Sir General Minister G5 FIYC UPotM [Y] #21 F@H KUN 14:43, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks...

No template, but just popping by to say thanks for voting on Propaganda:-)

--Sycamore (Talk) 15:48, August 21, 2010 (UTC)

Bob

Can you link articles to Bob? CHEERS - Gomphog 13:41, August 23, 2010 (UTC)

You will need to finish it first otherwise it will be deleted as a stub. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:54, August 23, 2010 (UTC)

We saw the sign that said "No Salesmen or Agents" but we came in anyway

Thanks for the vote! Sir MacMania GUN—[15:03 24 Aug 2010]

Laird Hamilton

Rom, thanks for the vote. Its so strange, before the nom I saw nothing to change-fix-improve, but since the Nom - in one day - I changed about 30 things (since your vote much has improved). Nothing like a Nom to make one see ways to improve. But I got the hardest vote to get, RomArtus. And THAT is cool. BTW: Did you watch the VDO of him surfing Jaws? Got anything you need a partner on? I have about 20 articles that need a partner to make them work, like Tony Jaa. I wish you could have contributed material to Jeff, you were missing, yes, that must be it! Cheers!--Funnybony    18:52, Aug 26

I can't help as regards Tony Jaa - I have never heard of him before until I clicked the link. Do you have a page where you have these article on the stocks? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 08:16, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

The following preview is the only thing standing between you and the feature presentation, bwahahahahaha

Thanks for the vote! Sir MacMania GUN—[19:50 26 Aug 2010]

UnNews

Nice work with UnNews:Moderate Taliban will only cut off one hand. I was going to take the lazy way out and mercy move it, but I like your solution to the problem much better. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 18:14, August 29, 2010 (UTC)

Well actually it was a one liner I had done for Minitrue and then discovered a user had tried to write a story around it. So basically rescued it for the page. Glad to see you are back Zim. I see you banned Ozymandiaz. Hadn't he just come off a one month ban earlier? Still, looking at his page and comments, I am not surprised. What else was he going to expect? Oh well...once again, some who come here do strap themselves in like kamikaze pilots and try to crash land on the Uncyclopedia aircraft carrier...odd people. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:20, August 29, 2010 (UTC)

Thank You

I can't believe I managed to get a  For. vote out of you! let alone two! I am so proud of myself! ^{Pirate Lord}__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 19:49, August 29, 2010 (UTC)

You're welcome Sonic. I try to be consistent and not to be swayed how well (or not) I get on with the author(s) of an article. If it is a difference about what constitutes funny, I think that is a matter of taste for all contributors in here. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:42, August 30, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks!

Thank you for the great belated birthday present! (Yes, August is my IRL birthday, I just hit the big 4-0.) Here, have some cake.

-- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 05:10, September 1, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks Sims. August is a good month for birthdays though I am +10 ahead of you. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 05:56, September 1, 2010 (UTC)

MC Shakespeare

Ok, I don't know much about shakespeare; his works are to vast and I really hate rap, it's just more nigger culture imposed on us. Anyways, I'm working on Bob. CHEERS! - Gomphog 10:45, September 2, 2010 (UTC)

Er..what Gomphog? So it seems you have given up on MC Shakespeare as you hate rap and 'nigger culture imposed on us'. Hmm...well I don't personally get much mileage out of rap myself but I don't know who the 'us' is here but I would prefer not to belong to that group, thank you. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:04, September 2, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for been honest, have a cookie.

Gomphog has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Gomphog 11:29, September 2, 2010 (UTC)

Tony Jaa

I really like this article. Someone else had an article and it got deleted. But Tony lives nearby me, and so I did a completely new article which Socky put up on VFH. Hope you get a laugh by mixing movie characters with real life. AND FUCKING AWESOME VDO-A MUST!. BTW: A few months ago Tony was world famous superstar with girls and guys begging just to suck his putz, and, all at once, he quit everything and joined the Thai monkhood. But he is just training - so don't be fooled. Hehe! Bro! What is your best article right now? Keep me posted (because I don't stalk). Stay cool, mate!--Funnybony    21:40, Sep 2

Possible Collab

Hi there, I saw a documentary with this guy in it User:Sycamore/Lord Dalhousie. You being more of a history buff than me might add some good chunks to it. Would be you be interested in working together for this one?:)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:54, September 3, 2010 (UTC)

OK let me have a look at it. Thanks for the tip. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 10:55, September 3, 2010 (UTC)

Left a comment on the talk page of the article. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:03, September 3, 2010 (UTC)

Thank You!

^{Pirate Lord}__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 18:03, September 4, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks For Subscribing!

Archive6, thanks for joining the official Nancy Drew Mystery Stories™ Fan Club!

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* All terms, conditions, and entitlements subject to revision without notice.

Thank you for taking the time out to offer such kind praise regarding Nancy Drew on VFH. On an unrelated, but just as sincere note, User:Romartus/Canaletto has been on my stealth watchlist for quite some time as I think it's a brilliantly funny concept. In the spirit of Canaletto's famed souvenir landscapes, I've enclosed a fairly rude composite I was compelled to make after reading it, anachronistic naughty bits naturally provided courtesy of the Wikimedia Commons. KUN VFH POTM VFP(IMAGES⇔TALK) 19:09, September 4, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the image - you may well have kick started that article again as I was rather stuck in the water with it . As you may read on this page, it was a sort of riposte to the Anal Sex article from Andorin when he didn't know what 'Canal Sex' was. Today I was looking at a Canaletto in one of the art museums in London, this one was painted in that city and shows in one area of the canvas, two men standing face against a wall where they had evidently just 'relieved themselves'. So I am pretty sure Canaletto could have painted Canal Sex scenes too. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 00:08, September 5, 2010 (UTC)

Bob

Can you edit Bob, because I need some pictures, please! Gomphog 10:56, September 7, 2010 (UTC)

Don't quite know what this is all about Gompy - but then again, I don't think I have tuned into your humour wavelength either...oh..and now you've got another ban. You know Gompy, I am pretty sure this place isn't for you. Perhaps if there really was a Junior Uncyclopedia, the problem would be solved. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:11, September 7, 2010 (UTC)

Ask About Our 401K Plan!

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HELL!! Your vote of confidence is crucial for our continued efforts to realize the galactic potential of Judgment Inc. Teamwork will be essential in the pursuit of our goals and we appreciate your patience during this transitional phase of our growing company and it's subsidiaries. I can assure you that your sacrifices are being noted and the management team suggests that you to read the book of Job as many times as possible in order to make your life seem more like paradise by comparison. Don't forget that first born males are due by the end of the fiscal year so don't delay submitting your offering. Thanks!

--    11:07, September 7, 2010 (UTC)

Taking the act on the road

I am sorry to see your hand was on my recent olive branch when the jackboots ground it into the mud. And have followed your suggestion to check out Illogicopedia, and even ran into you there.

You're right that it is enough of a backwater that one could be left alone. That isn't the goal. People generally do so here as well. In the exception--the dust-up over Islam--Hyperbole was right; my reform of the page had left several sections untouched, and the result is a better article. I didn't like the way he jumped in, but it was better than being left alone.

Illogicopedia proudly holds itself out as a place to revel in the goofy style of humor, cracking wise even with tabs and timestamps, referring to Uncyclopedia with a mixture of envy and resentment, to its quality as an environment of excessive pressure. I'll take the Uncyclopedia challenge--both of us almost always make the grade--and spend the summer trying to stay up on one ski rather than floating in an inner-tube.

Yes, bossy-and-pushy is prevailing recently (and it is not so much recent as that I've been able to avoid it before now). Simply, Uncyclopedia is sufficiently desirable real estate that there are turf wars, good enough to attract people who want to speak in its name. Illogicopedia is definitely not. Something like There Isn't Any would be met with bafflement and hostility--a threat of creeping pressure to get better. Uncyclopedia is notoriously hostile to poor-quality articles--but you and I are on the hostile end every day on VFD, aren't we? And even a purveyor of well-structured school-cruft like Loopygrumpkins is now voting to kill articles. (We've ruined him for life.)

If your goal is to lay the groundwork to keep in touch during your next ban for syntax errors (which I feel is a certainty), why don't you e-mail me? Spıke ¬ 13:22 7-Sep-10

Ok thanks for the link. Let me know if you get the message via my page.--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 16:30, September 7, 2010 (UTC)

Just felt like telling you that...

Copycat is pretending to be you and being rude to people. I put him on BP. So if anyone comes talking to you in a huff, don't be surprised!--HM (T) 19:45, September 8, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks very much for the warning Helpme. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 06:33, September 9, 2010 (UTC)

Lucy Pinder

Hey no problem cleaning up the Lucy Pinder article! I appreciate it, but thanks for checking with me first. --Dr. Fenwick 05:33, September 9, 2010 (UTC)

German Stuff

See my comment on the nomination page for yours and PrettiestPretty's article. Basically, the 'man' in the title should read 'Mann' or 'Herr.' —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 18:09, September 9, 2010 (UTC)

Ok. But how do you change the title of an article if it's incorrect? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:25, September 9, 2010 (UTC)

Move it, I guess. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:09, September 10, 2010 (UTC)

Thoughts

On this, James Broun-Ramsay, 1st Marquess of Dalhousie. I've left the stuff you added and hopefully made this into something pretty decent?--Sycamore (Talk) 13:34, September 10, 2010 (UTC)

I think the paragraph His Ideas should be renamed Doctrine of Lapse since that to me is the central comic point of the article. I am also thinking it should be higher up or at least mentioned in the first paragraph perhaps? Also the Gandhi image with the gun, where did that one come from out of interest? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:37, September 10, 2010 (UTC)

I'll tweak those... The image is Mhaille's, I think it captures much of what I understand to be the Indian Mutiny.--Sycamore (Talk) 14:52, September 10, 2010 (UTC)

If you are reading this you are The Last Man on Earth

If you are reading this you are the last man on earth. Photoshop no longer exists because women don't know how to use anything other than your credit card on the computer. Thank you for voting for The Last Man on Earth to be featured on the front page. If you are a woman and you read this, I thank you and hope you forgive me for the previous sexist comment. It was all in jest....most of it. --Dr. Fenwick 21:50, September 10, 2010 (UTC)

Laird Hamilton won’t dare you to paddle out at Jaws

Whew, thank you. Laird was gonna stomp my arse if he didn’t get featured. Is it safe? Thanks to you!

--Funnybony    07:18, Sep 13