User talk:Romartus/Archive5

Past Imperial Glory and Shame

• Archive1
• Archive2
• Archive3
• Archive4
• Archive5

Please post comments etc below. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:30, June 17, 2010 (UTC)

I Raped my own mother!

I just did that, I raped her. God, the shame. Bring me to justice, do something to stop me! Oh, fuck, I'm such a jerk. But she was pretty good though, and while her hip action isn't what it once was she kept up well enough. Aleister 12:32 17 6 MMX

Vini, vidi, vici

I've become your new emperor now. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 12:32, June 17, 2010 (UTC)

You guys don't waste time putting down paw prints on my brand new discussion page. I haven't got a clue what Aleister is talking about unless it's all 'Oedipedalo'. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:37, June 17, 2010 (UTC)

I was told by fools that it's a tradition here to rape a new talk page of an established user if you're the first to post there. Since I can't physcially rape a computer screen talk page, I did the next best thing and took my old ma for a spin around the floor. Aleister 12:55 18 6 MMX

Viking! What he ^ said.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  18 Jun 2010 ~ 02:27 (UTC)

Thanks for your vote!

Hey, I noticed you don't vote for on VFH too often, so to see your vote for Hello there! I'm a kite, and I will ruin your day! really makes my day. You are the BEST! I will kill you. What? I didn't say anything. User:Mrthejazz/sig 02:24, June 18, 2010 (UTC)

When it comes to voting I try and remain consistent (though I wasn't earlier and got reminded once sometime ago). So I liked the kite story because it was different but I think I have voted against just about everyone here regardless of how I like their general body of work/style etc. I am actually a lot nicer now than I used to be...--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 06:53, June 18, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for your vote

...pre-emptively on any articles of mine that might make it to VFH either now, or in the near future. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I always read it first and then check authorship. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:11, June 18, 2010 (UTC)

To save you time I have conveniently placed all my articles at the bottom of my userpage. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Forty is the magic number..--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:32, June 18, 2010 (UTC)

Some idiot has nommed this -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Thanks for the vote, it won't get me to 40 in any case, but as you've put in half the work on the article you should take half the credit should it get featured. If nothing else it will get me to a round figure again.... :) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Diet not working out for you then? --UU - natter 08:28, Jun 22

I was thinking of trying The Rubens Diet, I lost 2 and half stone over the last year.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Danke

Thanks for reading, considering and voting on my article, HowTo:Be Reverend Zim ulator. Your opinion is valid, and gracefully accepted. In fact, I could hardly believe such a stupid article got as much attention as it did. A reasonable Uncyclopedian would have no choice but to vote against. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:33, June 21, 2010 (UTC)

Nothing personal Zim I might add!--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 21:38, June 21, 2010 (UTC)

Of course not! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 23:20, June 21, 2010 (UTC)

Nommed

Uncyclopedia:VFH/UnNews:French team face guillotine if they fail in World Cup Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:33, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks Zim. I wasn't expecting that! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:09, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

No thanks necessary, I call them like I see them. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:19, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

Edited

Hi. 'Gave you a bit of a hand on the N. Korea Soccer article.  : ) Smuggler

Thanks though I have no idea why you linked the page to a restaurant! Is it one of yours??--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:43, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

This

John Lydon has been watching you and noticed you voted for Stalker to be Featured. Now he doesn't have to kill you.

--—John Lydon 12:22, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

Well-oiled birds

Thanks for your vote, it's very appreciated. The page is a work from the heart. And isn't the vid perfect!! Found it after almost everything else was up already. Aleister 00:28 23 6 MMX

You've been tantrad!

Go Go Gadget Porn

Yes sir, we have ourselves a feature!!!! -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Hello, Romartus

Seeing as you have given yourself the title of "Dr. No" around here, I was curious what you think of an UnBook I've been working on. UnBooks:Little Yellow Wong. It's been through two rounds of PeeReview, and I only want to nominate it if it's ready. If this were nommed, would you vote on it, and if not, what would kill the article for you? I really appreciate your feedback, man.User:Mrthejazz/sig 13:37, June 29, 2010 (UTC)

Well...the biggest problem for me is the name for a start. Ok so the story is about some book hitherto lost in a library and hence I guess why you are using this title along and also mention Little Black Sambo. But is that the main joke - the book title - or about a little kid on some very strange game show? I would have preferred you to follow the latter line of thought and just drop all references to yellow which frankly adds nothing to it and will only get racists flocking to the article like Nazi moths around a flame. I think on those grounds alone it won't get a nomination for featuring. So to sum up - change the name and try out my other suggestion (though there is an icky bit about a naked kid there which is also something I am not sure about either). Feel free to come back to me on this. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:52, June 29, 2010 (UTC)

Well, the intended joke is that it is a parody of Little Black Sambo. The entire point of the article is to substitute black stereotypes with asian stereotypes as a way of showing how lazy racist thinking can be. The gameshow host thing is a stereotype of Japan, for example.

As far as the whole racists flocking to the article thing, I have to say that I'm claiming Poe's law here. [1]. If people mistake my parody for legitimate racism, I can only say that I've done my job too well, because I don't plan on putting in a blatant tip of the hat, "This is parody folks" sign on there. Changing the article's title would ruin the entire parody, and hence the joke. If you're worried about it just being blatantly offensive, we've featured plenty of offensive articles before. (The Muhammad one, Filial Piety, Category:My Sojourn, etc. to name a few) User:Mrthejazz/sig 19:33, June 29, 2010 (UTC)

I wasn't aware Little Black Sambo was still in current circulation. I know about it and the time it was written. Plenty of stuff that was comedic current currency 50-60 years are now beyond the pale - deservedly. Therefore with this article I can see the intent is honest but I think trying to mimic a style to make an anti-racist point is a difficult one to pull off. It has been done but it is a fine line to avoid offence and instead to bring up ridicule instead. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 20:18, June 29, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, it's not in current circulation, although I would say it's still in the public consciousness. There is the risk of a lot of people not getting the joke. You have a point with your fine line comment too. Still, I can't help wondering if Uncyclopedia is not better off pushing the envelope here. The sad thing is that there are people offended with Wikipedia's article on the "n" word. Racism can be battled by opening a dialogue, but by opening a dialogue you are risking being labeled a racist. It's a sticky situation. I appreciate your comments and everything. Maybe I'll back off on this one, or at least ask a few people, see what they think. User:Mrthejazz/sig 04:38, June 30, 2010 (UTC)

Ok no problem. You will get a variety of opinions. As regards Uncyclopedia 'pushing the envelope' - well that's up to the community here. As you know the range of what people think is funny is very broad though I would hate it if this became a version of E.D. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 06:14, June 30, 2010 (UTC)

Well, if that happens, then E.D. will inevitably become like Uncyclopedia and everybody can just switch wikis. Really, the future is not worth worrying about. If Uncyc turns into E.D., there is nothing we can really do to stop that from happening, but I don't think it will happen, at least not in the near future. There are too many clever people here. Nothing is permanent, you know. If or when Uncyclopedia finally does die, there will be some other creative outlet waiting to replace it, and all the creative people can go there. There will always be an online home, and if not enough of us can gather to create one. User:Mrthejazz/sig 06:56, June 30, 2010 (UTC)

Twanks and salutations

Al and Guildy thank you for your vote, this page loves you too. And only the fourth UnPoetia ever featured--thanks again!

With sincere thanks

Foolitzer thanks with a debt of gratitude!

--Funnybony    14:28, Jul 1

Post Apocalypse

Hi Rom, We took your words to heart and now Post Apocalypse has gotten much better with funny stuff since it was nomed. It is now 10-0. Kind sir, just a couple more pats on the butt it will be home, and then IT WON’T HAPPEN (the apocalypse, I mean). So really, as crazy as it sounds, the fate of the human race is in your hands. On behalf of Heidi Fleiss and the league of hookers we thank you either way. Cheers!--Funnybony    11:11, Jul 2

unnews

good add i like it  ~  The*  (say shit) (My train wrecks) Π   ~  23:20, July 6, 2010 (UTC)

Dude! Keith, ah, whats-his-name?

Bro! I'm flattered that you kept them because it means, "I'm not crazy!" Whew! Thank you! And as its joke is to be a very short book, it would make a very good UnBook, or article. We do some research and expand the News into the complete book, say 5 pages in all. I'd be glad to help you or even team up with you, cause I actually come from that London music scene. A basic highlights of his life super short autobio. With a bit of research. But it won't be as short as "Negroids I've Met While Yachting" -- Ah, sorry 'bout that. What do you think? The idea is too good for only a news. Like Jeff Beck put out an album called "Jeff" how about the book name be "KEITH whats-his-name". Oh, and we mustn't forget his complete blood change in the Alps! As well as his Ninja training, and hatred for the Sitar. Also, he discovered the "Fountain of old age", and he agreed to play free concerts in heaven sponsored by the devil just to bug God! Cheers!--Funnybony    11:44, Jul 8

An UnBook is an idea but would have to give it some thought as regards structure and direction. Who knows what the actual title be about when it comes out (or not). A guy who can't remember anything correctly or jumbles up names/dates etc seems a runner. As regards your experience in the music scene, I think you mentioned this on one of your earlier articles so that could be a good of use! So if either of us wants to try something out, we should let each other know!

Regards your other idea..er..I think I'll pass on that one unless you were joking! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:41, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

Hey Rom! Nope, only one idea in above. Something like below. If you think it's worth working on can you put it on a page to work on. It's your great idea, bro! This is just a poke..

Introduction

A stranger to everyone, aging Rolling Stones' one man chemistry set, Sire Keith Richards is an enigma. The Kent born guitarist who teamed up with Mick Jagger and Brian Jones to form the Rolling Stones nearly 200 years ago in the “psychedelic age” has a hazy past, filled with drugs, poontang, drugs, booze, drugs, cigarettes, drugs, music and drugs. This is his autobiography, a rare look at his life; but he remembers 'sod all' from his rock and roll past.

.'Yeah that looks like me with other guys..Got any spare drugs boys?

Forward by Keith what’s-his-name

Yeah...er...you see.. I can't have Mick saying the Stones was all his idea...because it wasn't...and...well there with these two birds, mormons apparently...we met....backstage at the little Jimi Hendrix gig. Ozzy Osbourne was burning his pants on stage and singing about hippies in Liverpool then Mick turned round to me and said 'we can do better than those wankers'...so we..just recorded some songs; became..fuckin' filthy rich ..and I've been completely out of me nutter ever since....

KEITH

• I got me self born around age 0
• I was a bad fuckin' boy... ha! So was she!
• School was a drag!
• Told me teacher, "Go'n fook yaa granny!"
• Met Mick outside of some place.
• Years.. maybe months later.. hours.. met Mick on a train. I said. The Last Time I saw you, I drank all your paint bottles in art class...
• Learned guitar from that bloke, Alexis..
• What was her name? Some bird..
• Something happened in 1963
• Or it could have been 1964? A gig! Yeah!..what was that song..?
• Brian, the poof, stole me gear, then fuckin' died. Serves 'em right..
• A lot happened, on the bloody road..fuckin' 'ell!
• Hired Hell’s Angels to kill some fans over in, ah, over there..
• I played naked in Buckingham Palace and got a medal from the Queen
• Mick said to me..do you like drugs? I said..does the pope fuck??
• What was that tune? Something about Satisfaction.. bloody 'ell, I forgot the fuckin' name..
• 1970s...can't recall...when did Nixon die? He was killed in the war. Stopped taking Brown Sugar in tea.
• About 1974, something, had blood change in Switzerland. Or was it twice!?
• Got blasted one night.. then we played somewhere
• I hate the bloody sitar, I fuckin' tell you, mate!
• 1980s...Same again. Roll me a joint and help yourself to the cabinet ..iced birds in the fridge...hahahah
• Got me a black belt in Ninjitsu – killed a horsefly.
• 1990s...Mick said to me..or was it Charlie. I said where's Brian?
• Snorted me Dad's ashes.. bloody waste!
• 2003, no 2005, no three, Mick got Knighted, .. told the wanker off ..press even agreed!
• 2005.. a boat somewhere.. fuckin' hot, it was..
• 2007.. decided, the older I get, the older I want to get.. told somebody..!?
• Someone thought something was funny. We all laughed..
• 2008.. a coconut tree.. busted my arse.. no, my head..
• 2010...Johnny Depp says he ripped me off in the Pirates of the Caribbean. Says something.
• Today..Something that Bill [Bill Wyman - an ex-Rolling Stone] mentioned that was funny. Said I had been married and had children. Amazing...I was amazed ..like, when in the fuck did that happen???

[Category:Music] [Category:England] [Category:United Kingdom] [Category:Rock n roll] [Category:Rock Music] [Category:Bands] [Category:Drugs]

Rom, Bro! This is your good idea, so I'm putting it here. If you like to work on this, please move to your user space (don't know how to do that yet.. duh!). I'll be happy to work on this with you. But it's your baby. The categories are like that so they won't show on the bottom of this page. If its crap please just delete it. But could be funny as a book shorter than any other. Cheers!--Funnybony    13:42, Jul 9

I have moved it to : http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Romartus/UnBooks_Keith_Richards . Feel free to work on it too. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:11, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

Yet Another Worthless Award

AMAZING FREE GIFT!

As YOU voted for BIBLE! to be featured on the front page,
this FRAMED, VERY RARE and HIGH COLLECTIBLE
JESUS AND LINDSAY LOHAN
issue of the magazine is YOURS TO KEEP!
Generations to come will thank you for this wonderful keepsake.

---

Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:24, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

KeITh

Hi Romy! I would be honored if you can use the help I've given - and now take it over and do the things you suggested. And if it becomes a FA then I'll know I helped someone besides myself. Or even if it just becomes a permanent article (UnBook - the shortest of all). A couple of things, 1) I think the idea of a ONE PAGE book is great! 2) I think the headers should be centered (I don't know how exactly yet), 3) I think you should keep it as a kind of rant one-page book, and 4) Sure more pictures is great, but why not make them all hazy, like his memory. I asked Al to take a look for you too and maybe he has even more good ideas, but a one page book is ideal in this case. I mean, it can't be shorter than that! So take over, dude! It's all based on your slant, I just played up your idea. Hope you get featured. On a personal note you might find interesting (as I'm not terrified of people knowing): I was in the middle of the London rock scene in 1966, we were the ONLY American band in town, and then we became world's first international rock band when one player quit and was replaced by a real Englishman, half year before Jimi showed up. He was personally bummed by our plight! The war draft ruined everything, but not before we made some classics. One of my compositions - a song - has its own page on Wikipedia, a freakin' song!. But I'm proud of it. How would anyone like if one of their (Uncyclopedia article) compositions had its own page on Wiki? That would be cool. *GRIN* Cheers!--Funnybony    18:33, Jul 10

Thanks Funnybonny. A one page book - well we have it already. I like the idea of out of focus pix and Aleister's input is always welcome too. Your involvement in the music scene in the 1960s is a good reminder to me at least - that this site has a great range of age and experience! If you are going to get nostalgic, I recently visited the only pirate radio ship still afloat - Radio Caroline - though this particular vessel dates from the 1980s. But its studio (and equipment) was used in the film The Boat that Rocked. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:53, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

Hehe! John Peel -- I lived with him in America. We were the only band he ever managed. He sent us to UK. Then he came over and started Perfumed Garden show on the boat, Pirate Radio. BBC said this guy is too fuckin' good, and grabbed him. The rest is his-story. I was glad to be featured in John Peel's Record Box. He played our music to his dying day. Cheers!--Funnybony    19:34, Jul 10

COOL! I just noticed that my HowTo:Score Soma got featured on HowTo. Yey!--Funnybony    19:56, Jul 10

It deserved to be, too. Excellent article. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:58, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Rom, I forgot to ask.. would you like me to do those pictures of Keith? How many, say 2-3 more blurred pics, is enough? I'm glad to do it. But I don't know how to center the headers. Please let me know. I think this book is a unique concept ideal for the subject. And funny! Cheers!--Funnybony    19:17, Jul 11

Not sure I do either. Perhaps Aleister knows how. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 22:21, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

I'll see into it...oui, murky world of coding! Did you get those Keith pics? Do they need captions? Cheers!

Where are they? Can't see them on the page. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 10:20, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

Hey Bro! OK, done! I thought it looked good enough of an idea to start with on UnNews. And now..whew! And I think the headers on the left side in bold are just right. So if you put it on main space as an UnBook.. then may I Nom it for you? I think most people will get this joke. Well thought. Hope to see you glorify Keith in a FA. Is that OK, mate!?--Funnybony    16:27, Jul 12

I will go over it again and then put it through a Pee Review just to make sure. That's how it is done right?--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 16:35, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

Well, yeah, if you want to Nom it yourself. But I'm ready to Nom it and so it doesn't require any Pee Review. We two writers can make a bloody one page book, wouldn't you say?. Hehe! But, by all means. Pee review is the best way, always. BTW: A top to bottom rewrite of Post-Nom Post Apocalypse has me betting its worth a reread. If you don't get some smiles now then I'll eat your my cyborg hat! Hey, WOW! Radio Caroline, how the heck did you get on that boat? Was it at sea or port? If at sea then I suppose you went by another boat, or helicopter, or swam, or wind-surfed, or jetskied, or maybe a raft with a push-poll, like in Calcutta. I'm trying to imagine Radio Caroline.. hey! Its on the web! Neat! Cheers!--Funnybony    21:04, Jul 12

It's currently in Tilbury,London. The ship ran aground in the early 1990s and was impounded for being an illegal broadcaster. Eventually fans of Radio Caroline got the ship back.--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 21:51, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

Just saw my name being bandied about like a common Belizian whore. Nice page you guys, a work of art that if Keith reads it, and I hope he will, he'll remember it fondly for six or seven minutes and then forget his name again. I smoked his cremated dad with him once, and he filled the bowl with his mom's skelatal pinky! About the code, I know jack about code, and much of what I do know I've learned on this site. It's good for something, then. Aleister 21:11 12 7

p.s. And thanks for your vote on "Rolex"! Another fun page to write. Saw your comment on Miss South Carolina, it seems the mystery man is Puppy, who must now answer for his mischief.

That's a big surprise if true. Didn't think Puppy would write anything like the recent article just featured under the Horace name. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 21:51, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Rom, Ok, I just made about 30 new edits. I think I improved it further. For example, all Keith's words are as quotes. Only your Foreword is like normal paragraph. Plus more funnies through out. Please see again before giving to Pee Review. Or, if it's OK with you, I can just Nom it as your article which doesn't require any Pee review (really) - this, once you put your one page book (if you use small enough font size-hehe!) onto the main space. Please consider all my input to be my Pee Review. And all expansion of your joke is just your joke! If it goes for Pee I might grab it and just give it a 10 across the board. HEhe!! Please read it again, lots of edits since. Cheers!--Funnybony    00:08, Jul 13

OR, how about, I've already DONE an extensive Pee Review, and maybe Al can Nom it for VFH. They should make the VFH symbol be "a carrot" hehe! Cheers--Funnybony    00:12, Jul 13

My name again! Bandied about. Belizian whore. I think pee review is the best way to go. It lets a new set of eyes look at a page and sees things its authors don't see, from an entirely different lifestyle and personality structure. You (Funnybony) tend to add, add, add to your pages, most of the time good but a pee review puts time between the creation of the page and its nom. This allows your new eyes to see it anew too. So pee's work, in my experience anyway. Enough, I have to go pee. Name bandied about 00:18 13 7

Rom & Al, I just read it again, and it's jolly good and funny. After reading the news I'm glad its an article. I bet it gets featured, post-pee, that 'tis. Cheers--Funnybony    20:56, Jul 14

Pippi Longstocking on VFD

She is 4-3 Keep at this writing, so you won't find a rash of red-links in your Tigger Woods UnNews stories, but my vote was to commit this article to you. You might be able to turn it into something more than (yawn) a portrait of a slut. Spıke ¬ 01:08 14-Jul-10

Thanks for the message. It seems a lot worse the last time I linked it with the Tigger Woods saga. Ok - I'll take it. I may just remove porn rubbish in there as there seems some underlying humour in there somewhere. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 08:15, July 14, 2010 (UTC)

You, personally, averted the Apocalypse

Post Apocalypse made it in to cue, thanks to you. Now there is no chance it will happen.

Much thanks--Funnybony    16:05, Jul 15

Mordillo! (said in the manner of Jerry saying Newman's name on Seinfeld)

The man misled me, like a sheep to slaughter, and then I misled you. Horus isn't Puppy, it's Hyperbole. Mordillo!. Aleister 16:01 15 7

I saw the Horace account had been blocked yesterday so hopefully that will be end an end to all this Horace Sock and Toast business. I really don't see the point of it all but I am glad it's over...for now. I went down the wrong path with Hiatus so the message is - Stay vigilant! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:17, July 15, 2010 (UTC)

Toast came back as Bagel and then got an instant ban. A Draw of Odd Socks. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:15, July 16, 2010 (UTC)

USP

So, you seen this week's Signpost? You like? --UU - natter 19:52, Jul 16

I did thanks. Well as the World Cup was of international interest (except perhaps the USA and Antarctica), I thought it would be interest to run some stories in connection. In fact when you mentioned I hadn't written about the golf, I wheeled out Tigger Woods to fill a gap. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 09:35, July 17, 2010 (UTC)

I see you've been banned. . .

So I'm rummaging through your drawers and the stuff under your bed while you're gone. Were you banned for not voting for the Marilyn Monroe page? That would be fair. Ah, here's an old cookie. ummm ummmmmmm. Wait, I see some spare change in the corner there. My lucky day! Aleister 18:20 17 7

. . .and Keith

Funnybony asked me to take a look and maybe edit Keith a bit. So I left an option-edit sweep. Mostly in the introduction, my thought was to make the intro by Ruby Tuesday (ah, the Minnie Rippleton version when she was with Rotary Connection, gold) more serious and realistic, and to kick off the page with that rather than the confusing Keith acknowledgement. Then a slight tweek to the ending, the Index section. I hope you like them, but then again, you're banned for, apparantly, typing an asterick * , so you won't be around much anymore (since it will be very tempting to type a * everytime). About the most fun ban I've heard of. Aleister 4:13 18 7

Rom, Al, what do you think of this piece of insider UK Rock n Roll truth?

• Took me two years but it's finally founds legs around here: THIS Compared to whom the Beatles sound like Ricky Relson, and the Stones like an Ooga horn!--Funnybony    20:22, Jul 18
  • I read a book about their career in the early 1980s. Collected the vinyl after that when it hadn't been available for years. I will have a close read of your article and see if can come up with any suggestions. If the Keith article gets out of the pee queue, It will be a co-effort when nommed for VFH as you have added quite a bit. I guess I am still thinking that the formatting might be a bigger issue than the text. One idea is instead of it running down the page in the middle, it is split up with pix on one panel and text on the other. At the moment it looks like a film script in style rather than an UnBook. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:55, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

Return of the Roman

Thanks to everyone..ok a few..(namely Sycamore,Aleister, The Reverend Zim, Funnybony, Matt Lobster - also given a compulsory two hour lunch break) who noticed I was given another three day holiday by the considerate TKF for the capital offence of mixing up an * with a # on the VFD page. So anyway, sentence served and I will remain as before but a shade more careful on hitting the right keys when it comes to that and other voting pages. Ok TKF..you can let my family go. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:51, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

I have kept your tunica palmata warm.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Ok..Spartacus is in cell XX now that you ask. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:12, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

What's it like on the outside? Did you notice many changes? Glad you made it back, and I told your tale in Worst 100 relections of 2010 or whatever it's called. And thanks for voting for Rolex, it was frontpaged while you were gone. Did you eat okay? Aleister 18:06 20 7

It's like being Bruce Willis in the Sixth Sense. You're try to talk but no one can hear you and you can read comments but cannot say anything. Very strange. BTW where is the link for the page you mentioned? Can't find it. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:35, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, yes, you describe the state perfectly. It must be something like Lindsay Lohan is going through. Worst 100 Reflections on 2010, I think it's number 58 or 57. Please add a quality worst or three if you can think of one, it needs to pick up the pace to make the 100 this year. Aleister 00:59 21 7

p.s. And a good pee review on your Keith! Good page, and a fun read. But Lordarchadion was banned into the light for a day after he finished it, for apparantly uploading a photo of a guy holding poop. From his present state of mind he probably can contact Keith himself in that realm you just visited.

I left a message on his page thanking him for his work and encouraging a swift return. That was a bit of a silly mistake by him as bans for that sort of thing is clearly stated. Thanks also for the link too. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 06:11, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

what ever where is it so clearly stated it was used in a talk page reduced down for a user box

great job

 ~  The*  (say shit) (My train wrecks) Π   ~  00:43, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

un news

look into the fact that the new york yankies have lost a old anouncer, owner, manager. could be a good god is got their number story? just an idea for you.  ~  The*  (say shit) (My train wrecks) Π   ~  06:27, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

Well as I haven't got a clue about baseball (I am in the UK) that story is a bit 'out of my league'. Spike is better for those ideas! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:10, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

Hello

Don't stiffle my creativity *sob* Why have you blanked your own home page Ninja Pirate etc etc?--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:21, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

While you're around, Romartus, I love that new DavCam UnNews you've been doing. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:22, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks Rabbi. I heard the news earlier and was thinking of how to write it up for possible comic effect. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:29, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

Didn't occur to me, even though I read the story at about 6.30 this morning and was looking around for something to UnNewsise as it's been a while since I last wrote one. Glad you thought of it instead! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:31, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

Keith

Hi Rom! I read the Pee. And made the 3 option-edits (enlarged cover, added current pic and dropped what's her face). And that's about all there was to do. Maybe you should Nom it now that it's been Pee'd on. I'll vote for it! Whattya say? Also, did you see this British rock and roll page HowTo:Dig The Yardbirds. Please let me know your thoughts on Yardbirds glories. Cheers!--Funnybony    07:39, Jul 23

Perhaps Aleister could nominate it or someone else besides us. I don't want to blow my own Vuvuzela too loud for this one. I will have a look at the Yardbirds article as well and see if I can come up with some thoughts.--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 09:26, July 23, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, I'll see if Al will Nom it.--Funnybony    11:27, Jul 23

The deed is done. Don't forget to vote. Cheers!-Funnybony    15:46, Jul 23

The fucker held my head under water, like in one of those mob movies or in an average American interragation. Then as I typed the nom with one hand he and his groupies held my other hand behind my back so hard it dislocated my shoulder. Aleister 15:39 23 7

HowTo:Dig The Yardbirds

Hey, dude! Good stuff on the Yardbirds. Mixing praise with sensor, but without losing the prime joke of blowing up their coolness. I came of age, in a band, in 1965-1966, the height of the Yardies was 65-66. And the Jeff Beck and Co. was THE Yardbirds of note. So after hearing I Wanna Hold Your Hand, and everyone else singing bullshit - even we're in a troubled world - then the Yardies came out with Mister You're a Bloody Wanker Better Man than I, and the message was a message, about life. And the lead solo was beyond belief. A band where the singer is not the lead. Then Shapes of Things. Man we switched over to psychedelic lyrics and message from 1965, and apart from complaining blues we were all serious. They became a joke after Beck's departure and Most's arrival. There was nothing left. They worked so hard, for so little, they were burned out (except Page). I knew Keith and Jim and Jeff. Every innovative creation we ever came up with was following the lead of the Yardies. They were the ultimate cool of the time, and even Andy Warhol was basking in their aura. But by today's standards it was nerdy. Yet, there is hardly a hard band from 1960 to date that were not influenced by the Yardies Blues Rock feedback rave up, breaking all the rules of music (of the time), and especially us. A few Years ago (2004) Rolling Stone Mag called us "the American Yardbirds". And in Record Collector Magazine's (2004) book 100 Greatest Psychedelic Records: The Yardies are at #4 and my band is at #6, ahead of 94 others (Tomorrow Never Knows was #1), including Hendrix and Floyd. So all's well that ends well. Too bad its not worth money. GRIN. Anyway I didn't want to lose the joke about Bass Gods.. so I moved your section on it's own which it deserves. It's good mixing profuse praise with put downs, and I think your additions are right on. Please see how it looks now. Cheers!--Funnybony    11:27, Jul 23

The article is looking promising, perhaps it might have a chance on VFH though I do wonder how many of the contribs here know anything about the Yardbirds. In fact as I think about, I don't know if I have seen any documentary about them after all these years and considering the huge influence they were to have with so many bands. And where's the documentary about you and your band? As always when adding to an article, I leave it up the main author to use or remove stuff they don't think fits in. Perhaps a few more features on the veterans of rock (spoofed up of course) could be considered! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:36, July 23, 2010 (UTC)

There are some documentaries about them, like HERE and HERE, and a bunch of others on YouTube, and lots of books. We were just featured in John Peel's Record Box by BBC. But although we made good tunes, we never got to be a success because of the forces of darkness headed by LBJ. But we made some music, recordings still selling, and, a movie script, 8 years in the making, is finishing completion. If it becomes a feature film that will kick arse on any documentary. But the story of the band who got robbed is more interesting than Spinal Tap - according to THIS DUDE (last month). Cheers!--Funnybony    16:04, Jul 23

When the movie epilogue does a follow-up on "what are they doing now" make sure Richard Gere plays you writing Womp Rats! with a Thai stick in one hand and the renments of the mushrooms in the other. Aleister 16:09 23 7

Thanks for the links Funnybony. I checked out your band ones too. So I know who you are now but I guess that isn't a secret is it?--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:44, July 23, 2010 (UTC)

Sure, no secret. GRIN. I'm not hiding. As long as we're on about R&R I have to say something. Wouldn't you? A feature film would suddenly put us ahead of the Yardbirds..hehe. I wish.. no, we're working on.. too fun. If you ever want to see the script just let me know. It's a ride. Please feel free to clean up and improve The Yardbirds. Now, the Pretty Things, har har! Viv Prince the Loon. That's a good subject. I read a book recently about their 2 weeks stint in New Zealand.. such a freakin' loon that its worth a whole book. Do you know much about them? We could do a join venture if you like. Its a privilege writing with you. Cheers!--Funnybony    18:40, Jul 23

Hey, our little pick em / kick em joint venture above just got featured on the the HowTo homepage. It works! Cheers!--Funnybony    14:03, Jul 24

I will check that out. Perhaps you could write a spoof article about your own band Funnybony. Now that I would think, be a first on here. Perhaps you were the guys that were like the ones that were always just one place down on the queue (like Decca signing The Rolling Stones after they had turned down The Beatles). --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:04, July 25, 2010 (UTC)

On seconds thoughts...I am being a bit insensitive here Funnybony about you and your band. Strike my idea down. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:22, July 25, 2010 (UTC)

The Misunderstood, pretentious bastards, have been here for 2 years already. Cheers!--Funnybony    17:14, Jul 25

I should read this site more often before I start jabbering away. Now to remove shoe from said mouth. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:19, July 25, 2010 (UTC)

From where I am in the future it is now 1AM of the 26th. So I post-dated this News for 26th. Compared to the real news story on which it is based THIS even made me laugh. Hope you like it. Cheers!--Funnybony    18:03, Jul 25

Behind the Template

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

I, like, appreciate your support, or something.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:01, July 25, 2010 (UTC)

---

The July "Manny"

Thank you for your vote. Does it mean you liked Larry King on UnNews Audio? Or is it just "that time of the month"? Have you tried Media:Dianalysis.mp3? Spıke ¬ 15:46 25-Jul-10

I liked both of these Spike. Now as I listen to you, the thought strikes me. Are you the author Bill Bryson lurking here as Spike? Or perhaps...related...? Answers on an mp3 recording...--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:25, July 25, 2010 (UTC)

No I am not. As it says at the end of the recordings.... Spıke ¬ 01:22 26-Jul-10

Ah...but as Spike isn't your real name (is it??), then it could also be Bill Bryson's pseudonym when he is contributing to a wiki site like this one. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 06:06, July 26, 2010 (UTC)

No, seriously. Separately, I've separated UnNews:Sports Page and UnNews:2010 World Cup. You're welcome to check my work. It's all your stuff anyway. Spıke ¬ 15:28 26-Jul-10

Interesting--says he lived in New Hampshire for years. A good guess. Spıke ¬ 15:52 26-Jul-10

I have been checking the pages. I see at every section you can start an article. And now you have them indexed. Great! UnNews is looking a lot snazzier now! Just need to feed the monster with daily content. In the morning as I travel in I listen to the news and try to formulate a story before I get in. That way I can complete a news article in about an hour. Just as long as I don't get banned again! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:41, July 26, 2010 (UTC)

I have never had daily content, though I'm back today with salaries in Bell, California. I usually read the top ten AP wires on myway.com and wait until something strikes me as already a little absurd--I'm better at artful writing than at inventing out of whole cloth (for which I put in a request on this page). The last two--on salaries and on Shirley Sherrod--I only did because they were becoming chronic news stories that no one else was touching (because the first one in also had some 'Splaining to do). I've seen nothing inherently ridiculous in the US news in a week. Spıke ¬ 17:03 27-Jul-10

Campaigning

Following that conversation I saw on Ape's talk page yesterday, I understand that you two are not entirely on friendly basis? What's your angle about this? ~ 13:10, July 28, 2010 (UTC)

I clicked on the link and saw where it went - hence my comments on his page that it was abusive and going too far. Regards the 'admin campaigning', I had thought that was so obviously an unofficial bit of Ape mischief that I couldn't believe anyone would take it seriously. Otherwise, I have no personal issues with Ape, we just obviously disagree about what is funny or not and also had a conversation on Toast's talk page about the use of a communual sock as well. I saw those as differences of opinion which were within the boundaries of this site. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:00, July 28, 2010 (UTC)

Mr Ape currently has a ban for a week, as I have said elsewhere if people wish to engage in cyberbullying elsewhere that is their business, but linking it back to Uncyclopedia and the community here is a big no no. I love Ape to death, have worked on articles together n shizz, but there are limits to acceptable behaviour and in my humble opinion we are hitting that line now. Hopefully a time out will allow contemplation of this... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

OK, Romartus, if you'd like that campaign stopped let me know. ~ 15:53, July 28, 2010 (UTC)

If you can do that, I'm ok with it. I have no inclination/interest in becoming an admin - I can see what you guys have to deal with! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 16:00, July 28, 2010 (UTC)

Idiots like me putting stupid/massive images like this up on their talk pages.

hehehehe... Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 16:13, July 28, 2010 (UTC)