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Proceed with caution, they are contagious and can transform you into one of them. Remember, the only known way to cure a living being of Olula Disease is to send such being EXACTLY three images of cucumbers.🥒🥒🥒
don't you hate when your thigh high socks are too small?
Hello, Deemox, and thanks for joining Uncyclopedia! Before editing further, please take a gander at our Beginner's Guide. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, check out the following pages:
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If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, post on our community forum, join our Discord, or message an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, our Adopt-a-Noob program can bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! --DameFish on skatesCUN 16:35, 11 December 2025 (UTC)
I must say, you're blowing my brains off. I'm Richard Richardson on there, by the way. That's not my real name FYI. (duh) 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) 🌑 23:12, 16 January 2026 (UTC)
oh believe me i've just gotten started. Deemox (talk) 23:19, 16 January 2026 (UTC)
It's nice seeing all laid out like that eh? Deemox (talk) 23:20, 16 January 2026 (UTC)
Yeah. By the way, to reply to a post, make sure you add a : before the text of the reply, that way you're actually replying and not just adding text. And to reply to replies, just add another : depending on how many : the reply has.
For example, reply with :Example ~~~~ to posts instead of Example ~~~~. And to reply to other replies, reply with ::Example ~~~~ to :Example ~~~~, reply :::Example ~~~~ to ::Example ~~~~, and so on. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) 🌑 23:28, 16 January 2026 (UTC)
ah yes, alright. I think the mini game after the Luna fight is impossible by the way? Deemox (talk) 23:29, 16 January 2026 (UTC)
Just saying, I really appreciate you mapping out our game :) Have a cookie!
Gergdown has awarded you a cookie! Being fucking insane (like me!) Keep on going, brah!
ooo a cookie! also, wanna know what i'm doing when I'm not working on the chart? I'm collecting every single fucking korok in breath of the wild. which there are 900 of. Deemox (talk) 21:06, 18 January 2026 (UTC)
I would help you out, but it's paid for some reason :( 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) 🌑 03:56, 23 January 2026 (UTC)
Do you want to rank the songs for the game? Sadly, the first 20 songs have already been ranked, so you have to deal with the 10 new songs (which are objectively better than the first 20) and BiB. The link to the poll is HERE! Now vote, or DIE!🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) 🌑 00:54, 24 January 2026 (UTC)
Yes I did map that area. I kinda skipped over a lot of it because there was like a hundred little jokes and stuff and I got tired of it real quick. Deemox (talk) 13:17, 29 January 2026 (UTC)
i wanted to fix this myself but the flowchart website literally didn't let me do anything so i'm just telling you directly instead.
firstly, sleeping in Möcäsenn and then heading north doesn't result in death like your flowchart says. instead it sends you here. second, GGG has a couple of mistakes/things missing that you probably didn't notice while mapping it out:
the climate anomaly will either kill you or let you live based on your offset number while entering (basically a 50/50 chance i believe)
the moccasin pictographs are similar except that it's an actual 50/50 chance there
you can enter the three cabins
trying to cross the creek on "other side of creek?" doesn't actually let you cross, it just sends you to an unmapped death page below it
sorry if this seems kinda nitpicky, but you're probably gonna miss at least some of this (especially anything decided by luck, but luckily we didn't add too many things dependent on that) 00:37, 3 February 2026 (UTC)
oh and before i forget: there's an entire side path missing that you can access by evacuating the bus/train (although it just leads back to the eldritch zone again, but at this point what doesn't?) 00:48, 3 February 2026 (UTC)
ah thank you. I'm taking a break for a few days but I'll get around to it.Deemox (talk) 03:09, 3 February 2026 (UTC)
Don't worry Deemox, I fixed all of those (except for the Möcäsenn one) 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) 🌑 23:30, 3 February 2026 (UTC)
Oh yeah, I also finished Olympia as you wanted. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) 🌑 23:30, 3 February 2026 (UTC)
completely forgot to do this, but thank you so much for helping with the map. you know, it just came to me. If you're nice to people, they'll do nice things for you. I know that's probably incredibly honest but I think this is the first time in my life someone has done something like that for me. so thank you. it means a lot to me. Deemox (talk) 14:17, 5 February 2026 (UTC)
This isn't a joke. We actually VFD'd an FA! Taylor Swift's "psy-op", an article[duh] created by alleged AI-writer Tranvit, has been fuckedbaleeted tossed down that super deep hole in Russia or wherever it is on VFD. MrX briefly lost his shit over it, before everybody seemingly forgot about it all. What were we talking about?
On LPTEW, Fish on skates started complaining about Turb0-Sunrise's constant edit conflicts. Both of them complained like 5-year-olds to DaniPine3, when ColonelKurtz decided to hold a fair trial, hearing both sides. Upon hearing both sides, Kurtz decided Turb0's description of the events wasn't detailed enough, at which point Fish threatened him. Hockey salmon was there too, for some reason. As with all court cases, it eventually came down to more angry five-year-old arguing. Aside from arguing, highlights include God making an appearance, confirming his secret gay relationship with Satan.
So. Uhh. Yeah. You probably know what a sitenotice is. Those things nobody looks at and dismisses as soon as they pop up. Well MrX had the bright idea to parody Wikipedia's 25 year anniversary. I made the editnotice, MrX made some tweaks, and long story short, my work is on every page of this website.[note 1]
Dani's revision of the original drawing. The horrors... nice tits on it though...
Fish's reply. Not to be confused with GlitchyZorua, the topic of the biopic, even though the damn wrapper puts it in the biopic section and i don't feel like adding more whitespace to this fucking thing to make it not in the biopic, even though this ridiculous rant is causing way more whitespace than should be allowed in an average UnSignpost issue
Demon spawning ground and local dumbassery[note 2] LPTEW has spawned yet another monstrosity, this time in the form of a moe personality of LPTEW itself. Fish on skates began the horrors, mentioning it in a completely unrelated thing, only for DaniPine3 to create an eldritch abomination beyond the wildest dreams of Satan himself.
These creations were met with mixed reactions, with GlitchyZorua calling for them to be killed with fire, ColonelKurtz having a stroke, Turb0-Sunrise forcing Fish to give hers red socks, and somebody masturbating. I heard it. It was in the broom closet.
If you see these creatures, seek medical attention immediately. You will likely die if exposed to these creatures for long periods of time. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
The week is upon us. Forest Fire Week. BURN THE SHIT! BURN IT! MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhAHAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
Biopic
There's a place in France or somewhere. They say there's nude dancing. Sounds like fun. This has nothing to do with GlitchyZorua, who is honestly great. They don't do much actual writing, but they're around. Mostly on VFD, but if you hide in the dark corners of MrX's talk page, Zorua'll be there.
10:57, 7 February 2026 Alula blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 7 minutes and 5 seconds (account creation disabled) (Felt like it)
11:02, 7 February 2026 DaniPine3 blocked Alula with an expiration time of 1 hour and 8 minutes (account creation disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (Payback >:[)
11:10, 7 February 2026 Alula unblocked Alula(it's not very effective...)
11:12, 7 February 2026 Alula blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 3 seconds (account creation disabled) (DaniPi3)
14:08, 9 February 2026 Alula blocked 50.206.73.246 with an expiration time of 1 day (anonymous users only, account creation disabled) (pay attention in class you idiot)
If your talkpage doesn't have some weird CSS on it,*cough* MKyou may be noticing that the good[citation needed] ol' USP looks a bit different. We've revamped[note 3] some stuff in the back.
First off, if you look at the super fucking old issuses, you'll see a little thing next to the issue number. We brought that back. Then we split the heading thingy in half. It doesn't do much, but it looks nicer. Then we put the heading in a box. Looks so fucking nice. Now we put the WHOLE THING in a bo- excuse me...
oh, oh,OH!
Where were we?
Quote(s) of the Week
“usiong hHE POWER OF NTO CORERCTINT WORDS I WILL UNCYCLEOPEDIA A MAJROR STROEK AND THEN TO STOP THE STOPKE THEY WWKKWKKWWKWKWKWKWJWWJ”
– ColonelKurtz
“I'd rather be Spamton, because back then he had a giant TV sugar daddy.”
Holy shit. They actually did it. ColonelKurtz got banned by Alula for "repeated creation of garbage pages, spamming discussions with gibberish/irrelevant messages, generally just being a dick, etc." Following a brief change of the blocking time to 2 hours by DaniPine3, Turb0-Sunrise put that one template on his page, with Soviet moving the old contents to a new page. People started taking his subpages in a process known as "article-trenching".
Aside from that, one of his last acts was voting against on my article on VFH. Soo... you could say it's mixed reactions from ol' Turb0.
For whatever reason, newcomer OrdinaryJoe1234 has been nominated a ton of articles like ChatGPT and Rickrolling. Despite being warned by Shabidoo, he has still continued nominating articles. Because of this, he has earned the nickname "The 2011th Fenris" from Fish on skates just now.
After the purging of the AI articles helped by Gergdown's revolution thingy, people want to do something about AI images. However, everyone has a different opinion. MrX, OPOSSUM, and Noopnurf want to leave the AI images alone, but Gergdown, Turb0-Sunrise, DaniPine3, MK, and I would like to do something. After a lengthy off-topic conversation on the user talk page of recently banned ColonelKurtz, a forum was created with the title of The Noopstein Files.
15:22 Alula blocked ColonelKurtz with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) (ugh)
20:31, 13 February 2026 DaniPine3 changed block settings for ColonelKurtz with an expiration time of 2 hours (account creation disabled) (hold on, why infinite? the guy hasn't done anything really bad now)
20:33, 13 February 2026 Alula changed block settings for ColonelKurtz with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) (dani don't bother, this is for his general behavior)
Because this only happens once in a whenever, we here at the USP would like to welcome Deemoxagoard aboard. Fuck. Shit. You STUPID DUMBASSARY USER! How do you not know the proper way to speak the English language, Turb0? As we all know, the correct way of spelling aboard is aboard!!! Obviously not agoard!!! In fact, since you said that, not only have you offended me, but the entire history of the Anglo-Saxon language chain, Turb0.
Anyways, welcome Deemox. There's cake here somewhere. Depending on if Bill ate it all. Fuck you, Bill.
guys look in the sandbox nothing bad will happen. Deemox (talk) 17:21, 20 February 2026 (UTC)
I promise that it wont make your computer explode. And I promise the only reason it's in there is so I don't get banned. guys click the sandbox.Deemox (talk) 17:22, 20 February 2026 (UTC)
Deemox, I'm taking away your annoying template privileges --DameFishonskatesDUNVFHUotM 17:25, 20 February 2026 (UTC)
noooo my templates.
the crash-your-computer-inator is staying though.Deemox (talk) 17:32, 20 February 2026 (UTC) fish on skates
Turb0-Sunrise oh boy I'm gonna add A's to AAAAAAA here I go. would punctuation be allowed on AAAA? like a whole paragraph that's fully punctuated for no particular reason.Deemox (talk) 18:48, 20 February 2026 (UTC)
ok looks like there is a small paragraph like that but it is not long. I'm gonna add more.Deemox (talk) 18:49, 20 February 2026 (UTC)
there is now more AAAAAA. hell yeah. Deemox (talk) 18:56, 20 February 2026 (UTC)
You have been blocked from editing for a period of 1 Jeremy Bearimy for nominating the Main Page for something. If you think there are good reasons for being unblocked, please write them down on a pineapple and shove it right up your ass. Once the block has expired, you are welcome to make useful contributions, but it is highly recommended that you stop nominating the Main Page for something. Thaaanks! --MrXblow me 19:36, 24 February 2026 (UTC)
it was worth it for the funny. also how long is a jeremey bearimy? Deemox (talk) 20:03, 24 February 2026 (UTC)
MrX
You should have atleast put
This is a joke nomination This nomination should not be taken seriously. Or do take it seriously. Whatever you feel like, we don't judge. Okay, we do judge, but we do our best to hide it. But I guess our best wasn't good enough, 'cause here we are back where we were before...
no I think we should delete the main page. Deemox (talk) 20:26, 24 February 2026 (UTC)
It's already beened nominated for deletion several times but if you do nom it, I'll vote Delete.Soviet☭(Ask for free votes) 20:31, 24 February 2026 (UTC)
You STUPID DUMBASSARY USER! How do you not know the proper way to speak the English language, Soviet "Oh look at me I don't have a userpage"? As we all know, the correct way of spelling Been is Been!!! Obviously not beened!!! In fact, since you said that, not only have you offended me, but the entire history of the Anglo-Saxon language chain, Soviet "Oh look at me I don't have a userpage". --DameFishonskatesDUNVFHUotM 20:34, 24 February 2026 (UTC)
ok but we gotta delete the main page.Deemox (talk) 20:35, 24 February 2026 (UTC)
You have been blocked from editing for a period of 4 Jeremy Bearimies for spelling Jeremy Bearimy wrong. If you think there are good reasons for being unblocked, please write them down on a pineapple and shove it right up your ass. Once the block has expired, you are welcome to make useful contributions, but it is highly recommended that you stop spelling Jeremy Bearimy wrong. Thaaanks! ----DameFishonskatesDUNVFHUotM 17:32, 25 February 2026 (UTC)
A story that was built, a retrospective on the wildly popular ASBOxAAT series, listed February 22nd, 2026 as the date that L10nM4st3r would make a page called "A story built one advertisement at a time". After some pushing by Fish on skates and Gergdown, the page was made 5 days later. L10n, the geek he is, actually found a way to redirect the main page (yes, THAT main page) to editing the article. MrX and even I found that to be a bit too far, so after some mild craziness, the main page is back to how it is, and MrX may or may not be able to edit it. Don't mind the site notice.
Deemox, the noob that was covered here a few months(?) ago, has now become an extended confirmed user. He has now written around six articles, all of which are very good and you should read them. none of them will crash your computer I promise[citation needed]. they are all very high quality.
what is your opinion about the fact that I am in your floorboards? — Gammakid999
no you're not. i checked.
Does it ever hail in Boston? Because believe it or not, it does in Ventura (Wait, never mind, that was graupel, or maybe sleet.) — OPOSSUM
the last time it did was maybe, 4 years ago?
Does the sun ever set on the Bostonian Empire? — alula
no
Did you know that you're really bad at checking if someone is in your floorboards? — Gammakid999
yes
What do did you do with your life before you joined Uncyclopedia? — Soviet
fuck if i remember
What will you do with your life now that you've joined uncyclopedia? — Gammakid999
fuck if i know
From The Logs
02:35, 20 February 2026 Alula changed group membership for DaniPine3 from abuse filter helper, autopatroller, extended confirmed user, rollbacker and administrator to abuse filter helper, autopatroller, extended confirmed user, rollbacker, administrator and flood (the dutch will not be happy about this)
01:51, 21 February 2026 Alula changed group membership for DaniPine3 from abuse filter helper, autopatroller, extended confirmed user, flood, rollbacker and administrator to abuse filter helper, autopatroller, extended confirmed user, rollbacker and administrator (dani why did you ask for flood when you very clearly weren't gonna use it for something spammy)
22:30, 1 March 2026 Alula blocked Fish on skates with an expiration time of 14 hours, 18 minutes and 31 seconds (account creation disabled) (the cabal (LPTEW) wishes it)
22:31, 1 March 2026 Alula blocked Soviet with an expiration time of 32 minutes and 2 seconds (account creation disabled) (the cabal (LPTEW) wishes it)
00:19, 2 March 2026 Alula unblocked Fish on skates (right, this block is 14 hours long...)
) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
Delete. 
