User:Aleister/archive7

I'm raping myself!!

Rape, page rape, hey, stop that. Do you have a cigarette at least? Ok, thanks. Aleister 10:44 3 12 MMX

Lord Bumfuckington

Here, give your mom this, she may still be able to finish the job. Tell her "Good luck, lass" for me. -- Al, a couple hours later

On facebook, I'm a 20 year old blonde bimbo that does dirty talk with lonely old wankers like romartus. Some of stuff I've said is just wrong. Ahhh..I'm a twisted child. Why didn't my mother use a coat hander? --Gomphog

The coathanger would have been a wise move. Not only would she save the abortion money but would have been able to reuse the device to hang up a coat. And by the way, how did you get back your account?Aleister 14:22 3 12

Git

Not you. I got Pee in about 8 hours, which was nice. Reviewer thinks I should ditch the page breaks in Dr Seuss:The Git Who Stoned Christians. I'm not so sure. What do you think? --Sog1970 19:56, December 4, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks

Thanks for the welcome. Much better than generic form letter I got from other wikis, like Zeldapedia. Anyway, hope to help you guys out and make Oscar Wilde proud. Hey what's the UTC for in the signature? HyperTalon 911 20:39, December 4, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks!

The world is forever in your debt. If you're interested, you can also vote at Uncyclopedia:Top10 10/Nov, for great justice and stuff. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:04, 5 December 2010

Howdy

Just wondering if the frat will be taking on new pledges anytime soon. I've been thinking about it for quite some time and have decided that joining the frat may be just what I need to get back in the flow of things around here. My writer's block only seems to be getting worse and I'm hoping that a few collab projects may be just the thing to kick start my brain. Let me know if you have an opening and if I'll need to get the giant hot dog costume dry cleaned or not . Thanks. --—John Lydon 13:50, December 7, 2010 (UTC)

Sunny D

Lyrithya called this article to my attention last night on IRC and I insisted she move it to VFD. See also the bottom of her talk page. Spıke ¬ 21:28 8-Dec-10

No. You see the bottom of her talk page. I know you are but what am I? Aleister 21:34 8 12

Aleister, you're a right wonder. I love that about you. 1234 ~ 21:40, 8 December, 2010

As previously stated, I know you are but what am I? And if you love that about me why don't I tear it out and give it to you on a platter. See "Snow angels dragged me to hell", yet to be written, then you'll be singing a different tune. In fact I'll go to that other place and write it now. Aleister 21:46 8 12

Oooo, this should be good... 1234 ~ 22:01, 8 December, 2010

Thanks

Thank you for voting for me for Useless Gobshite last month. Or was that the month before? I can't remember. Either way, though, it really means a lot, so again. Thank you. Have a line of madness, specially chosen for you, as a little keepsake:

“ There is no dreaming without waking. The Nightmares aren't real until you make them up. ”

And now I'll spam up your talkpage with a hideously long signature in definite violation of UN:SIG. 'Cause I'm nice like that. 1234 ~ Major Pleb Sir Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 • GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 04:07, 9 December, 2010 (UTC)

Petition

I told you I would give you the link.

Forum:Petition for more dancing!

I also voted  For. for your aricle. -- 05:38, December 9, 2010 (UTC)

Aristocrats

Just read your judgery. I too was really torn when it came to scoring Jazz's entry. After wrestling with the issue (and some hot girls) for some time, I decided it was the one that made me laugh the most. However, you might be right about it being unfair, perhaps we should bring it to Chief or Mhaille to see if they want to disqualify it? --Black Flamingo 12:06, December 9, 2010 (UTC)

I just wrote Mrthejazz and cut my wrist, because of you, you!!!, putting me in the position of deep-sixing his vote (Maybe Lyrt will give him a high score and all this is meaningless). But, of course, it makes me feel good to cut off his beak, and I was kind of pissed at him because I do work on the slaughter-line at a pork factory, and he is overtly criticizing my professional life. And what's this "we" keemosabi? Aleister 12:19 9 12

p.s. Just looked at the judging in the other categories, and the Jazz looks well positioned in the second one, so I don't feel as bad. Spread the wealth, so, yes, I'll join your vendetta to disqualify his first entry.

Lyrithya's not going to score it high, he hates flash. --Black Flamingo 13:13, December 9, 2010 (UTC)

S/he may fool us all. And thejazz didn't do as well as I thought in the second category, he may have been third if my math abilities haven't totally failed me, which they do on most occasions. To be serious, you scored as you felt you should, funniest and presentation and all, and should leave it as is without going to our superiors for a ruling. Just as long as I've learned my lesson and never sign up as a judge again, things went well overall. Aleister 13:28 9 12

Yeah. I only signed up because it's easier than writing an actual entry. --Black Flamingo 14:35, December 9, 2010 (UTC)

Damn, we should have done a frat collab for Aristocrats. Aleister 18:28 9 12

Yes, why did we all decide to judge that category? Also, I swear I'm going to actually do it. Not now, though. Later. 1234 ~ 18:52, 9 December, 2010

Kismet. Now maybe the three of us should collab on an aristocrats and have the winners in our category judge our page! Aleister 18:57 9 12

That sounds like work, though... 1234 ~ 20:41, 9 December, 2010

El bastardo

Hi, dudes and dudesses. Could you nom User:Handy Smurf/Daily Fascist for colonization or somthing? I'm trying to make it look "newspapersque" in it's composition and format. --Handy Smurf 12:38, December 9, 2010 (UTC)

Hello, Mr. Smurf. There is really nothing on the page except a nicely fomatted banner and a few boxes, so keep on working and may the sun be at your back. Colonization is for major pages and subjects which have what some people think is under utilized potential and semi-crappy content, then they steal that page and used the civilized term "Colonization", the same as the white men did with the American Indian savages. So you have a good page started, and maybe you could collab with someone once it's further along. Aleister 12:54 9 12

Thanx. --Handy Smurf 14:01, December 9, 2010 (UTC)

Instead of doing something productive...

I have come to demonstrate what a terrible mistake you made voting for me for UotM last month. Really, I do not understand what you possibly could have been thinking, but what is done is done, and now I suppose I should be gracious and attempt to thank you, or something. As I do not know how to be gracious, however, I will instead give you another carefully chosen line of Madness, for you to keep as your very own:

“ I know its songs like the sound of my world, but I do not know its world. ”

As I am indeed here to be a terribly useless lump, I'll just end now and sign this with a signature that has, indeed, been confirmed to be... er, against policy, or something. 1234 ~ Major Pleb Sir Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 • GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 21:59, 9 December, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry to bug you about this again, but...

Did you take over imperial colonazation like you said you would? If so *cough*Will you approve me to the big board?*cough* What? Who said that? *dashes off* --Magic Snow man ☃ 14:44, December 10, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, intercourse a duck. I don't know if I did, I said if Happytimes is still missing in action. I'll check his talk page, and either way I think you are approved. All I'd suggest if you work on Dinosaur is to go with the flow of the idea and page, and maybe adopt one section and work that to purr-fection. Will go and check on that now, thanks for the reminder. Aleister 16:15 10 12

I just looked at the Big Board page, and it says Happytimes, Why?, and Puppy are the only one who should be changing it. Since Puppy is often around these days, let's ask him. I'll leave a note there now. And away I run. . . .. Aleister few minutes later

Shirking responsibility as usual. It's just like when we were in the frat. --Black Flamingo 16:24, December 10, 2010 (UTC)

I remember those frat days. Remember the time Boomer climbed up on the roof and pissed on the Sorority next door, and it ran all over Debbie's window, and she opened the window and screamed. Good times. Aleister 16:28 10 12

The December Manny nomination

You are to be commended...well, for finding something original to say. Spıke ¬ 21:42 10-Dec-10

Saskatchewan on VFD

It's fixed up, please flip your vote. Spıke ¬ 23:44 10-Dec-10

Saskatchewan on VFH

Where did it go? Spıke ¬ 17:47 13-Dec-10

Gone, but not fogotten. Many times things just happen with no explanation (like someone messing with your big pictures!!). Since it's Saskatchewan, nobody will miss it, but it will be back someday when we least expect it. Aleister 17:52 13 12

No, the article's there, the VFH page is there, it's just not in any of the queues! Spıke ¬ 18:02 13-Dec-10

Yes. Take things on faith, we live within God's plan for all of us, and when a black hole opens up and swallows something learn not to question but pray. There is nothing anyone can do. You can't fight City Hall. Relax, watch some TV, put on a sports match. Nothing anyone can do. Gone, but not forgotten. Aleister minutes later

Help help!

So I was messing with this, and when I saved it is said there was no </references> tag. But if you look in the coding it's there! I didn't even mess with that section. Can you fix it? 'Cause I can't! --Magic Snow man ☃ 02:58, December 14, 2010 (UTC)

I will try, Obi Wan, but I am only one man. It may not be for many weeks, or dozens of seconds, one of those. Aleister minutes later MMX

Done. What happened is someone didn't put the closing code onto the 'choose' section of the final photo. Thanks for working on the page, I must put in a couple of hours on it at some point soon, you are shoving me from behind (whoa!) to get to it. Aleister soon after

And by someone you mean me. Right? --Magic Snow man ☃ 03:27, December 14, 2010 (UTC)

no, no, a thousand times no. I didn't look at the history or any of your edits as yet, time restraints and I'm doing a few things at once, so I just looked at the bottom section and saw the problem in the coding. What you did do by pointing this out was I changed the "Footnotes" name to "Dinosaur footprints", which is more fun, yuckyuckhaha. Aleister no no, a thousand times no MMX

Oh gods that's funny. --Magic Snow man ☃ 04:25, December 14, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks

I really liked your articles. Excellent work on them. When I read the first one, I thought it was Uncylopedia's humorous way of really, truly, shutting down. As I scrolled the page, my eyes bulged in horror and I thought, "They are sure being nice about it, with all the jokes and all, but they can't quit now!" And then, I realized it was all another one of the scary things you run into on the wiki once in a while just to see if the reader is still alive. Thanks for the nice welcome, and although I do get rid vandalism or unproductive edits when I see it (such as undoing the vandalism to your user page earlier today) I mainly edit the game pages.

However, my interest in Uncylopedia does not stop there. I read a good many of the regular articles as well on a wide variety of subjects and have edited a few of them. It is amazing to read something factual and dry on Wikipedia, then come here and see what the Uncyclopedians have to say about it! --CEDA 04:14, December 14, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you, and since you do know how to put a few words together and still maintain coherency, you are already a great asset to the site imnho. Uncy's benefit is that it can use satire to make statements, both factual and putting a "what if" twist into it. Wikipedia works within constraints of copyright and the pressure to crack-down on other users to 'get it right but only if it's referenced elsewhere, and step lightly in you're an expert'-ism. Here you can let loose, and with your writing ability you can easily pick a subject or two outside of the game pages and fly (although a game page holds ample room for amazing creativity. What is your favorite so far?) Thanks again. Aleister 11:05 14 12

Vertical spacing on your user page, bis

Now see User talk:PuppyOnTheRadio section 30. We still don't know why my end is removing the blank lines, but Puppy suggests there are better things for you to do than code them in the first place. Spıke ¬ 13:04 14-Dec-10

PS--It looks as though I am not the only person who is removing your extra blank lines on your user page. I think anyone using Mozilla (an alternative to Internet Explorer) with Java turned on will do so. Please learn about alternatives to specify the spacing you want. Apparently, the standards do not recommend just laying on the Enter key, so the way it looks on your screen is not necessarily how it will look everywhere else. Spıke ¬ 01:25 15-Dec-10

Alright, I'll study up on it. I've never even heard of this last guy. What does the page look like on your screen? I had the same problem with Garage sale, when two or three people tried to change the spacing. I'm still surprised at how ununiform all these skins are and search engines are, it seems counter-productive but maybe it's the opposite. Thanks for your concern about my user page, which just sits there most the time but seems to have gotten all this attention the last day or so. It's blushing now, I can see it over there. Aleister 1:30 15 12

How does it look? Way too much spacing above "Marijuana," a little too much above the book of parchment and the one before that. But please don't spend any more time experimenting with the "right" number of presses of Enter. The point is that there is no number that will achieve what you want everywhere, so do it the right way. Spıke ¬ 01:34 15-Dec-10

Thanks for the time you are putting in on this, and trying to teach a semi-moron. Can you give me an example of the coding? Maybe how to, say, put 10 lines between one thing and another thing, just so I could eyeball the code. Thanks. Aleister 1:41 15 12

Follow the link at the start of this section! Spıke ¬ 01:43 15-Dec-10

Ah, Ok. But I looked and I designed in lots of white space above marijuana and above the other ones you mention. I didn't want a uniform amount of spacing, but a segmented journey, so maybe what you're seeing is just about the same as I'm seeing. Who knows. Thanks again. Aleister 1:52 15 12

Dinosaur

Hey, just realized you might be wondering why I'm making drastic (or jurassic I guess) changes to Dinosaur just like you told me not to. The reason is that nobody else is really working on it right now, so I decided it was up to me to to smooth out the rough edges, tighten up the loose ends, and make it look good. So I hope you weren't angry at me. I promise this is not how I'll colonize most of the time. --Magic Snow man ☃ 04:18, December 15, 2010 (UTC)

Oh! One more thing!

Will you please vote for my sandwich on VFS? The jesus sandwich. I would mean alot to me. Thanks. --Magic Snow man ☃ 04:57, December 15, 2010 (UTC)

The Threat of Festivus

Added a few links, a couple of jokes etc. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 08:04, December 15, 2010 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia is almost full

Would you care to also submit a Cliff's-Notes version of this to UnNews?

The full-length article is the first time I thought {{USERNAME}} was being used when it wasn't, instead of vice versa; thank you for considering me an Uncyclopedia institution verging on stasis! The article is a clever adaptation of the thread in the Forum; but thereby, inherently an inside joke, and perhaps not the best thing to put forward to strangers on the main page. But I never care what's on the main page anyway. (Unless it's Saskatchewan.) Spıke ¬ 18:25 16-Dec-10

Thanks, and lol. Stasis. Not from a forum, please check the dates of the history of the page and the forum you are remembering. I mentioned it on a couple of forums, and linked it as an example of what people were speaking of, but it existed at that point (unless I'm wrong, as I often am, but if you are wrong maybe you can give it a vote for dragging my name through the mud of uncy, and then washing off the mud, pushing my name back in, and dragging it through the mud again. At least a vote for that!). Cliff-notes version not possible because of the amount of information on the page, a shorter cut would be lacking in the overall theme, but thanks for asking! Now I must go hide my head in the sand, where I keep extra provisions just in case. Aleister 21:34 16 12

Of course you could do an UnNews version! it could even hump the full-length version. Or I could. But I have my own inside joke cued up to go at midnight Zulu time. Spıke ¬ 22:03 16-Dec-10

Sheriff of Nottingham

I tightened up the gassy language I was complaining about on VFD. But, in the intro, is there any reason to use the word "governates"? Over here, it exclusively connotes The Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Also, does the second sentence of Section 1 mean anything? If you don't know what the author had in mind, both of these points are good places to mince words. And the final three sections could probably be consolidated to no longer use lists, given that about half of the links in the lists are red and probably staying that way. Spıke ¬ 18:25 16-Dec-10

Ah, not that I know of )takes a pill and drifts away to the South of where?( --Al, many many hours later, at least three.

Thanks; in that case, I am going back in to hack at it. Spıke ¬ 21:47 16-Dec-10

UnNews:Wikia lays off 600-700

Dammit, Aleister! Why did you have to do that? You added one character to this story, presumably to push a rebuilt version into the slave server and purge the wrapping bug. Only, this story was about the wrapping bug, and was better illustrating it! And we will never get it back now! Spıke ¬ 14:33 17-Dec-10

PS--Are you so confident that the bug is gone that you would dare to take out the Socky/Lyrithya workarounds added in the past two days? Spıke ¬ 14:34 17-Dec-10

This was per Socky's forum. Whoops. An idea, why not just move the pic to the left and format the caption outwards. Just trying to clean up the main page articles for viewers. Are we going to have to edit all 26,000 pages???? - Al, minutes later

No, I think it will eventually happen, as the master uses its quiet moments to rebuild pages and put copies in the slave. Spıke ¬ 14:41 17-Dec-10

Then I'll leave the rest be and concentrate on filling my stomach. And to think I was going to edit all 26,000 pages before lunch. Aleister 14:43 17 12

UnNews:Doors singer Jim Morrison wins profanity and exposure pardon

The subject of this article is such an ass hole that he won’t even thank you. He told me to do it. Hey, fuck him! But, thank you! (Specially you, bro!)--Funnybony    16:16, Dec 18

You're welcome. But Morrison already came by, exposed himself on my user page, then left with his groupies. What a no-talent asshole. Aleister 9:42 19 12

Trying to fix the images?

If so, then I feel it necessary to say that you don't actually have to edit the page. All that you need to do is type /index.php?title=whateverfuckingarticle&action=purge and go to it. For example:

http://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Kim_Jong-un&action=purge

I purged about 200 articles earlier to fix the images. However, what really needs to be done is a database purge by Wikia... But yeah, I recommend doing it the above method. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 10:52, December 19, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks, I'll do a few more and see if the purge kicks in soon. When I go to the page individually sometimes an edit idea comes to me. Most often not. Thanks again, Aleister 12:09 19 12

iFeliz Navidad!

Hey, thanks again for nominating my Santa article! This is going to be a good Christmas, even though I've put myself on the permanent naughty list. :P

So, I was digging in my attic for decorations, when I found this old gem. I wrote it last year, but never finished in time for the holiday. I've tweaked it here and there and updated to this year. Since you wrote Father Murphy's speech excellently, you could tell me if this "sounds" like a lower-class Hispanic woman? -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 13:48, Dec. 19, 2010

You are very welcome, you created such a good page that I was lucky to be the one to nom it. The UnNews is interesting, to say the least. Although I actually am a lower-class Hispanic woman in real life, I don't know the way to portray that in print, so can't help you much there. The Jewish doctor's wording seems well done though. Rosa Martinez 13:56 19 12

"Rosa Martinez." I lol'd. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 14:03, Dec. 19, 2010

Thank you, Senor. May the spanish force always be with you. - RM, minutes later

Re:

Thanks you voted for my article. I think I should consider doing some "thank-you" template as many other do but I'm too lazy for that.

I also wish you a lot of features in this and the next years, and may Santa bring you all the things you cannot steal ;). Sir Ptok-Bentoniczny^{Pisz tutaj} • KUN 17:48, December 19, 2010 (UTC)

Just to let you know

I was inspired by this to write this. You should definitely read it.--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 23:29, December 19, 2010 (UTC)

oh, neverrmind. I see someone else made it. I thought it was you.--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 23:37, December 19, 2010 (UTC)

Souvlaki

Could you please work on it? Oh, and Merry Christmas... --M&M (christmas mood) 14:04, December 20, 2010 (UTC)

Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas!! I did some edits for language and typos and stuff. Added in the soy and tofu things. Good pics! Aleister 23:52 20 12

Merry Christmas

I think It's the third time I am telling you that but...

I was feeling bored so I made this template. Merry Christmas!

--M&M (christmas mood) 13:38, December 21, 2010 (UTC)

Ho Ho HO!!! Thank you. Al moments later

Emma

I'm ready for the Emma Goldman page to be put into mainspace. (Since you honored and congratulated me, I will redirect User:DJ Mixerr/Emma Goldman into the red link Emma Goldman.) I am now finished!! DJ Mixerr 18:00, December 21, 2010 (UTC) User:DJ Mixerr/sig

UnNews:Doll takes the world by storm

Nothing personal; I never vote for FA nor worry about what's on the main page. The nomination was for writing one of the two most remarkable UnNewses of the month. As for pictures of epaulettes and Ninja stars, you'll have to wait until the Reverend returns and demands his old office back. Spıke ¬ 13:38 22-Dec-10

Thanks very much for the nom and the compliment, I'm going to have to start writing more UnNews just to appease the news Gods. I know you don't vote on VFH, a good policy to keep your attention on just several areas, although sometimes the voting gets light and things stall - and when that occurs to UnNews noms their timeliness erodes. No, please, no pictures of ninjastars or large cones. I think Zim is playing on Illogicopedia, and may have been lost to us for awhile until he can escape the inmates there. Thanks again, it'll be interesting to see how many votes something like that would get (although the audio by itself is feature-worthy fer sur) Aleister 13:44 22 12

Sadly, UnNews Audios never get featured--except by piggybacking. By the way, when "inmates" return from Illogicopedia, they're somehow just not right! Spıke ¬ 13:51 22-Dec-10

Is true, piggybacking, a strange sexual practice but hey, to each his own. I've started to play in Illogicopedia once in awhile, and it has started to affect my mind. Affected it so much that I am getting intriqued with this piggybacking, and will now daydream of smooth swine. Aleister 14:06 22 12

Hey

I see you already got a Christmas template from M & M. But it just looked like you needed another one.

Magic man got you a present! Don't open it till Christmas!

Merry Christmas! --Magic Snow man ☃ 15:32, December 22, 2010 (UTC)

Hey...

That thirteen posts is hilarious! If only there were a way to feature a forum! Just dropped by to see if you're interested in this. It's based off your post after all. It's lists them all. I thought it was funny, but I really don't know what to do with it now. It seems a shame to let it go to waste. Let me know if you have any ideas. --—John Lydon 21:36, December 22, 2010 (UTC)

need help

I'm kinda sorta having trouble on trying to put in ideas for my article Why?: You Will Never Have a Chance in Hell With Her, and was hoping you can put some ideas that I can use for it. Just put them on the article's talk page. I ask you because you the best person to do the job. Thankies! Cheers!--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 04:55, December 23, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, I will dash over for a look. Thank you for thinking that I am the best person to know the subject "Why? You will never have a chance in hell with her", a topic I have studied first-hand, and I will enjoy helping you teach others this rare art of never having a chance in hell with her. Practice makes perfect. Aleister 11:57 Festivus MMX

UnNews:A-bombs dropped on Japan awarded Nobel Peace Prize

Bro! This is an example of one of my own choices for best UnNews FYI. Its not a real news, so its not bound to be dated. Cheers!--Funnybony    20:48, Dec 23

You are Japanese!

But Sony has a better intro, Section 1, and Section 4--and above all a reason to stay in existence, so it is time for you to flip on VFD. And to work on Sections 2 and 3 if you know anything about Sony game boxes. Spıke ¬ 19:03 24-Dec-10

Never mind. The game-box sections are now in fair shape, unless you have anything from personal experience you'd like to add. Spıke ¬ 23:59 24-Dec-10

You!

Just purge the pages and the caption thing'll fix.

Also, you! You stole my drat! How could you?! 1234 ~ 00:42, 25 December 2010

Hello. I don't know how to purge an individual page, what I've been doing is moving the category list up or down a notch as a minor edit. I stole your drat? I don't know what that means, but if it has something to do with where you took my gosh, then I understand. And thanks for chasing vandal droppings from the pages. Merry Christmas!!! Aleister 4:12 25 12

Go into your preferences, go to gadgets, and turn on that clock one if you haven't yet. UTC-time. That thing. Click that to purge the page you're on; bit faster than moving things around, you know?

You... well, actually, he may have broken into your flat on his own accord. It may well, at that. And as for the vandals, I have this... gun thing... o__o Oh, gods. I'm addicted to the gun thing! *flails and runs away* 1234 ~ 05:44, 25 December 2010

Hi Merry Christmas! Redknight

Thanks Redknight, nice graphic. And Lyrithya, I enabled the refresh clock and it worked perfectly on the refresh, and is keeping good time too! Thanks. Must soon go muddle through some Christmas festivities. Ho ho, ho. Aleister 12:39 25 12

Yay! Usefulness! So your Christmas festivities don't involve sitting around computers debugging and compiling code? What a strange, strange family you have... 1234 ~ 16:26, 25 December 2010

Yes, very helpful, and yes, strange indeed, as the administration at various institutions will attest. I'm in between "things", and was going to drop in for just a minute to include a line that popped into my head in a new article, and then got trapped here. If I were more adventureous I'd just glue a piece of mistletoe to my belt and take a walk in the mall, but right now I'm just content for Christmas to draw to its inevitable conclusion. Did you open all of your presents and pawn them as yet? I hope you got some good stuff, and gave good stuff, and all the rest. I should actually go now, so I'll put on my Santa suit again, adjust the genital mistletoe, and be on my way. Merry everything. Al 16:35 Christmas MMX

I was going to say something eloquent and well-thought out in response to that, but I got sidetracked and now I'll just say, hours later, er, hope you've been careful. Some people don't take kindly to mistletoe. Cheers. 1234 ~ 00:23, 26 December 2010

Worst 100 reflections on 2010

I've been adding to this (including that classic conversation you had with the guy who asked to be an admin), and I noticed there's nothing about the frat. Feel like adding something? I can't really think of anything to say. --Black Flamingo 12:57, December 26, 2010 (UTC)

I remember that guy! The frat. There is no frat, not after Blockbuster has stalled. But on the 100 reflections there are lots of things which can be removed if a new thing comes along. Hmmmm. Maybe the fact that Skinfan has apparantly been killed in Afghanistan after trying to catch Bin Laden all by himself ("Ah, there you are! Gottcha! Um, yes, I would like to meet your 20 friends with guns, hello fellows."). I just looked at your additions--nice work! You've made the 100 list safe for Democracy. Maybe #1 could be that we voted Chronium or whatever his name is Useless Gobsite of the Month (or year, we should nominate him for that). Anyway, what? Aleister 13:05 26 12

Flamingo, there already were ones about that guy, Skully's competition, even the declining pee queue, although the last is less redundant since that really has been going on for months... glarble. Aleister, have you added any yet? Because there's room. Not sure where yet, but there is. 1234 ~ 18:01, 26 December 2010

Listen L, the thing you've got to remember about me is that I'm an artist. I'm not like you, I can't process information or organise things. I try to tie my shoes and I end up writing a ballet. When you tell me what to do and try to clear up my mess like this it ruins all the beauty of my world. --Black Flamingo 21:13, December 26, 2010 (UTC)

I've seen his ballets performed. They make me cry with the wonder of creation. And it's not like duplicate events on the 100 will make much of a difference if they're written in different ways. And yes, I put in maybe or at least four or five or six or seven entries during the year. We do need a frat one though (Added a frat entry near the bottom). Aleister 21:17 26 12

Okay, Flamingo, I'll stop telling you and start just changing things behind your back. *whistles*

And poor Romartus. Although his response to that artickle was pretty damned funny. 1234 ~ 23:37, 26 December 2010

I don't remember him even commenting on it, which really disappointed me. Did I miss something? --Black Flamingo 23:44, December 26, 2010 (UTC)

No, that's what I found so funny. 1234 ~ 23:58, 26 December 2010

Reimu Hakurei on VFD

I appreciate the praise! Now flip on Sony. Spıke ¬ 02:47 27-Dec-10

I thought you didn't need a vote there, it takes work you know, the typing and all on VFD. That ones saved already, so I'll pass on it, to save the keystrokes. How did the fire and snow turn out? Aleister 2:52 27 12 (and I've got an idea for a quick news page for you)

I can see why it was on VFD; it has no boobs--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 02:54, December 27, 2010 (UTC)

Is that how it works? you hold by your Delete vote, happy that the article will be Kept despite you? You're right, though, your vote won't change the outcome. The snow is still falling; I haven't given a thought to the fire, but see above under Snow. Spıke ¬ 02:56 27-Dec-10

I didn't look at it that way, just more work. Grumble. You've won me over with logic, and more work. I hope the snow traps you indoors for weeks, like in The Shining, and you start typing one sentence over and over and over: Not a nom, not a nom, not a nom. Aleister minutes later

I hate logic; its a piece of shit. Also, boobs--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 03:00, December 27, 2010 (UTC)

Boring on VFD

It's still a spork of a treatise on military history, with odd photos, occasional words replaced by Boring, and section heads that talk about boredom. Still mechanical--it still needs a gimmick!

The Wikipedia section, you wisely moved last. Does its existence detract from the article's theme (or total lack of one)? As the saver of Argumentum ad Wikipediam, I could tighten this section up...but would that make it less boring? Spıke ¬ 23:29 27-Dec-10

The people voting seem to agree that it is verrrryyy boring, and I am probably the only person to read the whole thing (maybe you too), and I would swear in a court of my peers that it is boring. So why not just leave it to rot and then contribute it to the compost. I may have made a mistake in voting for it, and for Helen Hunt, who I hope is now deleted. Maybe I'll look in on VFD then, for a glance at the new sacrifical lambs. The last thing I saved at VFD ended up featured against the better judgement of myself and everyone who voted for it, and we now have to figure out how to VFD the damn thing, so I'll try not to make that mistake again. Aleister 13:56 28 12

PS--Lyrithya wanted me to do a little more with the Anus. I've managed to stir in a few more double entendres. Spıke ¬ 21:52 28-Dec-10

Hi

I love you, that's a very nice japanese garden you have on your userpage. --Possible Gomphog Sock 13:59, December 29, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you, but please do not use my name as a sock or I will find you and put you into that Japanese garden. And not feet first. Nah, just kidding. Feet first. Aleister 14:03 29 12

I find the Jimbo Wales advert very annoying. How dare they bastardise those loveley pre-raphaelite paintings, someone call the daily mail. "Plans freshly hatched have a habit of stumbling from the nest, right into the huster's stewpot". --MC Shakespeare

Hmmm. Your writings actually improving, unless you stole all of that from the back of a cereal box. Did they ban you from ?pedia yet, or do you still exist as a non-ghost there. Never mind, if I keep feeding you I'll feel the lash. But keep improving your writing, and someday you may be a real live boy. Aleister minutes later

Why is it called the "ashes"? Is it because the greatest cricket player was struck by a lightning bolt and turned into ash? And so they then....put it into a trophy and called it the "ashes"?

P.S - It's been three months since my ban...can you open a "unban gomphog" forum? Thanx. "Try as we might, history chain's bind us to tightly..." --MC Shakespeare in da house, fool!

"Ready-made surname"

Now you're getting it! If you're going to crack a joke like "Hunt, heh heh, sounds like Cunt," the only way to make it good writing is to beat around the bush. As it were. Spıke ¬ 14:31 29-Dec-10

Hmmmmmm. How about "The batsman prepared to lay down a bunt, if you catch my daft (wink wink, nudge nudge)". Anyway, thanks, now go back and save a half dozen more pages before lunch. Aleister 2:39 29 12 MMX

How about some quoticide? They are still pretty gross. Is there a real Mel Gibson connection? The most this one does is repeat the Golden Globes double-entendre. Spıke ¬ 01:44 30-Dec-10

Arnold Car scene

I actually have an idea

There is this scene that can be used and edited: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afzqnyxZxQM

I have recorder that can convert video files into a GIF image

I was think that Arnold drives off and notices a jet missile coming towards him, Arnold shoots it, but then another jet comes carpet bombing him and insert mountainous explosion.

No problem, the only issue now is getting it featured because I'm convinced that this article deserves it.

Already reverted the flag image, after I take a second look; the image does resemble a blue mushroom and I agree with you about reverting the title to how it was before, and yes I click on all the captions and they all make since, especially a lot of the time a conflict started by the United States of America usually doesn't have any purpose or just simply doesn't work out like the failed war on drugs, but this is Uncyclopedia, enough with politics. I believe Lyrithya is the best choice due to the images I saw by that user and they look professional (atleast through my eyes).

I like the fact that the article is expanded with scenes (if I may call it) that have to do nothing with the USA versus the primitive Taliban, but thats why I feel accomplished with the article. Whatever title is find you will work for me.

I put the article on pee review. No problem, the original flag seemed a bit off and this nuclear bomb detonation seems more destructive.

The article has been reviewed! http://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Uncyclopedia:Pee_Review/The_USA_versus_the_primitive_Taliban_(featuring_Arnold_Schwarzenegger)&t=20110102235536

Thog

It's been three months since my ban...can you open a "unban gomphog" forum? Thanx. "Try as we might, history chain's bind us to tightly..." --MC Shakespeare in da house, fool!

No, talk to Mordillo and anyone else you've had trouble with. I don't think it will happen, as you've been sockpuppeting and spamming ever since, but worth a try. Don't you have a sock or two still free? Don't tell me any names though. I'd like you back if you could behave well, but that's been a problem. Are you still on ?pedia? Aleister 19:56 29 12

Naw, he ain't banned. He comes by ?pedia from time to time and of late hasn't had any issues that I can think of... and indeed, his writing has improved. That, or my sense of good has deteriorated from contact with some of the other ?pedians, but I'm pretty sure he really has improved... 1234 ~ -- 06:13, 30 December, 2010 (UTC)

FBI Ten Most Wanted Fugitives on VFD

Aleister, you dote on VFH enough to consider, and maybe implement, my What If in the VFD discussion. Spıke ¬ 18:01 30-Dec-10

Helen Hunt

My dear friend, you are right. It was naughty of me not to have checked the history. I honestly thought the article was as left by the author and it was the first of many edits I was going to make. My mystake. By all means the article is yours. I like the tone of your message on my discussion page. It was very nice. Thanks. Do whatever you like with the article and delete every contribution I added if none of it is usefull. I didn´t work hard at all on it and was only 30 minutes of my life. Keep up the good work and keep that loving tone humming in your posts. --Shabidoo 03:58, December 31, 2010 (UTC)

No, please go ahead, but why don't we delete some of what you did so the page is as is, and then add on to it. Nobody owns a page here, even though we all think we do and do in essence. I too put in much time on the page, but am not "involved" with it to the extent of caring a great deal. But I did find it fun. I'll look at the page next time I'm logged on to see what we all did to it, and will delete all your edits then! Haha. I like your concept on your user page of how often you laughed out loud at a page, with three as a benchmark. I tend to go into long laughs, and keep laughing, at pages and things I find funny. I am about to go to Romartus's page right now to chastise him in YouTube vid for voting against my goat page on VFH (if you'd like to give it a read, most welcome), and I hope he laughs. Thanks for writing! Aleister 4:10 New Years Eve MMX

Better to just revert it and incorporate anything you think is worth it. I will check out your article. Take a look at UnNews:Australian PM praises citizens for flood and edit it or help if you want. I think its a good news idea and could work with a very good editing eye and an idea or two.

Flood

Thankyou a billion for the copy editing and all around spiffying up completely and making UnNews:Australian PM praises citizens for flood a worthy article. I think after your treatment its worthy of a go for featured news article no? Nominate it if you like. I think its funny. But oh the politics, maybe it is considered crass that you nominate it now? What will people think? And who knows what will happen in the end and who will rape it with their opinions and esthite!? Perhaps someone will even nominate it for deletion. Mmm. THAAAAAAAAAAAAAANKS! A BIG UNCYCLOPEDIA HUG --Shabidoo 06:05, December 31, 2010 (UTC)

Renamed (no excess capital letters in headlines) and copy-edited by me. A cute interpretation of a photo, but the Source was sporked from PF4Eva's story and not corrected, so I slapped {{Original}} on it. Likewise the two {{Old news}} references. I think it's an impulse, not a feature. Spıke ¬ 09:35 31-Dec-10

Thanks for the edits. I had no idea anyone else had wrote a story on it, the inspiration for this was seeing BBC´s online coverage of the Australian PM "congradulating Australians courage during the flood" and a photo I saw on the website.

Then by all means put in a real link to it! When I clicked on the link you had, I got to the source of a previous UnNews. Spıke ¬ 10:01 31-Dec-10

I added a link to a Google News article that I assume is the real source, since it sounds like it is the right one. → I am greatSoup? 10:02 31-Dec-10 ←

That's what it needed! Shabidoo, take note for next time. Thanks, all. Spıke ¬ 10:28 31-Dec-10

You're welcome a billion. I just gave it a run through, you came up with the good idea. It's one of the main stories on the newspage now, well deserved. You know, I've never thought of the flooding thing even though so many times news reports of floods show the water up to the rooftops. In the US in Florida and Texas they put houses on stilts or raise them up a level so when a hurricane walks by, as it often does, they have at least that much protection. Aleister 11:16 New Years Eve MMX

Hey, I understand, at first I thought that you thought that I was ripping off someone elses idea. And then it was really just me ripping off the form of a template (which I did three times), and then I thought you thought that I was just ripping off a tragic news story, and then I thought that you thought that I was just ripping off the idea of doing something, and then just ripping off shabalabadabadoodoo. So shame on us! As for vote deletions, while the text may be ironic, my votes never are and Im not sure im going to explain precisely why I vote how I vote every time but thanks for the suggestions :) So why didnt the Australians put their houses on sitls?

So the kangaroos can come in. The stilts in Florida and Texas are on beach houses and things like that, buildings right in the path of Mother Ocean when she gets a bit of wind on her back. Aleister 14:35 New Years Eve MMX

Oh, perhaps I should tell you...

Since it's your article, and all. I nominated the Goat article for feature on ?pedia. Well, okay, actually, I just copied the version here over, {{VFH}} template and all, but it wound up the same thing, and now three Uncyclopedians have voted for it. Over there. No ?pedians have voted yet. Well, solely ?pedians, since I guess we're all at least partly if we have accounts and go over there, but anyhow, I'm rambling, so I'll shut up, now. Cheers. 1234 ~ 23:13, 31 December 2010

Hong Kong

No, I'm serious. You don't have *shifty eyes* (actually, I don't know that) so I need specific editing recommendations. Spıke ¬ 11:43 1-Jan-11

What am I, your mother? Aleister 11:46 New Years Day

p.s. I'll stare at the page for awhile.

Thanks. There's a little more to you on my talk page. Spıke ¬ 00:48 2-Jan-11

Happy 2011

Have a great time, Al! Hey, what are we gonna do to make Soma an FA? What're you working on?--Funnybony    11:56, Jan 1

And you too. I thought Soma was something to do, not feature. Or so my dealer told me. Jeez, I dunno what I'm working on, nudging along lots of pages without one in particular being my main focus now. There are three I want to get too, and maybe this is the time to do all or two of those. Did you see the Tyson pee review? I fixed the Trail of Ears section (and wondering how many people get the pun as related to Indians, if only some do that's enough). And I will put the Tyson baby picture into Soma and laugh and laugh and laugh. More later, on the other. Aleister 12:02 1 1 '11

p.s. Wohhhhhhaaaa, I haven't looked at Soma in months, clicked on it to put in baby Mike Tyson, and it's beautiful!!!!! In every way. When did you do all that??? I think congrats are in order.

Thanks

for the nom - you should have shown my usual lack of class by voting for yourself though--Sog1970 13:24, January 1, 2011 (UTC)

You're very welcome. And nah, you deserve it for sure. And last year you only voted for yourself once the choice was already made for Hype, so that doesn't count. Happy New Year too, drink lots and lots of eggnog, throw it up, then drink some more. Aleister 13:29 1 11 '11

Dance sign up page

I got it made here. --Dancing dude 14:41, January 1, 2011 (UTC)

Pee Revs

Hey Al, hope you enjoyed the big switcheroo last night, in terms of calendars I mean. I was just thinking about your inability to understand the pee review form, and came up with an idea for you. Why don't you just write all your comments on the page, in just a single box perhaps? You could even just delete the whole template and write a kind of essay. So long as you put scores for archiving purposes. Would this be easier for you? --Black Flamingo 17:46, January 1, 2011 (UTC)

Duh, well, youknow what it is, Mr., I just don't have the metnatlity capacitey to unnerstand most of these tings. If I wrtie an essay, and then have to look around for a place to hang it on a wall, where do I go then, huh, Mr. Smartypants, you diden think this out too mcuh. This is a computer site, nt a reaal house where we live, so when I put down words they just go away. So if I put down words enough times to make an essey, where do you think it can be found, on Mars, Mr.? Your pullin on my leg, flucking with me. Go way, leave me alone with your ideas all big and thinkin in words like "tempate", and "single box" (you know my sister too?). Confused my mind. Aleister he said single box, heh heh he hahaha hee 23:22 that day

In that case; post it to the author, along with your sister's single box, that should do it. --Black Flamingo 12:21, January 2, 2011 (UTC)

Oprah

) Im sure you are very busy with the Million obligations and job description you have here, but I really liked your runover of my last stoy and this one needs it (cause its weak). Any change, cut, addition (that doesnt make it dirty or too absurd) would be welcomed :) If you cant, its okay I wont lose that much sleep tonight nor feel too abandoned, as one of the few amicable people employed by Uncyclopedia you are so popular Ill understand if you reject me ;) --Shabidoo 21:53, January 1, 2011 (UTC)

If it is a page about Oprah in any form, you are hereby rejected. I just never "got" Oprah and her popularity. The fact that she puts her face on every copy of her magazine since it was first published 20 years ago galls my sensibility. I will look at the page if you tell me what it is. My terms of employment here call for some overtime work, and my supervisor usually lets me pick what I want to do except when I have to help run the Lyrithya bot/sock, so I'll take a look if you give me a link. Ans please, lose sleep, this will keep you so tired that you will soon be speaking your mind to that girl you like from down the street. Then the good times will roll. Happy New Year too! Aleister sometime that day, not too far removed and not yet the next day

This only makes me even more vulnerable. UnNews:Oprah hosts final show

Pointers to Shabidoo on his talk page. Aleister, you might want to help out. Spıke ¬ 00:46 2-Jan-11

You have a scary talent for making the improvement of weak articles seem easy. Thanks, I liked all your touches and cuts and the improvements inspire me to make it a readable and funny article. I hope the overtime is paid and that all your 2011 resolutions fail not too quickly. Hugs --Shabidoo 19:55, January 2, 2011 (UTC)

Roberto Durán ofrecer su agradecimiento

Roberto celebrates his feature article in Uncyclopedia – thanks to you.

--Funnybony    08:43, Jan 2

How do you do?

I notice you added mine an Funnybony's entire userpages to the WotY page. As elated as I am to be nommed (and as nice as it is to see a picture of Kate Bush on there) I don't think you're supposed to do that. Still, thank you so much! I have no chance of winning against FB, never mind the fantastic-foursome of you, Sog, Mhaille and Guildy (hoping for a four-way win this year). But I'm flattered nonetheless. --Black Flamingo 20:17, January 2, 2011 (UTC)

You saw that, huh. I messed the code up, can never remember which way the link to the user page goes and this time I pushed the wrong thing. You're welcome, and thanks for the compliment. My vote goes to Sog for sure, and I'm glad he's pulled ahead a bit, but it is early in the voting. A ten-way tie would be perfect in a Utopian world. Ummmmmm, utopia. Aleister 20:23 2 1 '11

What Happened?

I leave for just a week and suddenly this has blown up! Oh well, guess it's back to the drawing boards for me. --—John Lydon 16:44, January 3, 2011 (UTC)

When will THIS be feature worthy?

Al, bro! I cleaned up the attitude and what ever else I could. Seems almost special to me. Maybe my most useful page out of 300. Cheers!--Funnybony    20:08, Jan 3

Never. But I've reworked the lead, which seemed a little complicated and not absurdly funny enough, as an option for you. You've got to grab them quickly and "lead" readers further in to the page. Hmmmmm, maybe I should do that with "going into the light" too. And what's this knock at the door? Aleister 12:27 4 1 '11

Favour required

This has been on-going for a while. I think I've finished the writing, and Puppy's done the code. We could probably use someone checking the functionality (and typing) - need a job? --Sog1970 12:18, January 4, 2011 (UTC)

I just kept hitting 1 and it seems to go on forever if you did the same with all the other numbers. Morons like me may miss the point of hitting on the tiny numbers and clicking the words instead, thus going off article and possibly not coming back , so maybe instead of little numbers you can use words like "One Two Three Four" and maybe "Five", or make the numbers larger on the first screen to give the less able readers a better hint where to scan. If I look further into the page, which for all I know is endless and black as night at some point which Puppy likes to do, can I add a word or two if I see a hole where one goes? I saw one already, but didn't edit because my edit button has no backstop. And why not a link to Rastafari here and Jah on wikipedia? The poor God is getting the no-link short-shift. As for typing, I am Uncy's worst speller, at least in the top fifty, so I can't be trusted on that. OK, this is getting very long, and not in the non-gorilla way. Al 12:38 that day

Think I got round the first problem. please do correct whatever's obviously not right. the code is very dense, which is why i had to ask puppy to do it. Let me know what you think. --Sog1970 16:22, January 4, 2011 (UTC)

Hello. I did a run thru, put in a word and a comma or two where they were missed, and gave a few other options for very slight changes. On the fat ugly girl, I felt a need to soften that because what if the real-life fat ugly girl in the pic sees it? Fat ugly girl might jump off the roof of a pizza place or something. And the code on the page, jeez, that is so far over my knowledge level about code that it looks like magic to me. Aleister 1:53 5 1 '11

Yeah, thanks. They're the sorts of edits that become hard to spot after a while. The numbering system seems to work too, now. As far as I can tell. Any obvious problems navigating the pages? --Sog1970 08:36, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

Um, question

I saw you put a WotY on my userspace, but didn't see any nomination on the WotY page.--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 01:19, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

My mistake, you were nommed on the Uncyclopedian of the Year page. I've changed the template. I guess my brain made the leap to writer, which you are good at as well. Aleister few minutes later

I have done that before, so I know what you mean. And thanks for the template and the compliment.--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 01:44, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

Aleister! Aleister!

Check my talk page! I said some thing back! Quick! -- 05:16, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

Carp never mind... -- 05:23, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

Lonely hearts colum

Al, if you have a spare moment away from winning the hearts and minds of millions of children, would you care to help out with this? It's basically supposed to be a lonely hearts column. Lyrithya is going to make it look like a newspaper and everything, I just need more funny ads because I'm too crap to think of any good ones. It's a bit of an old joke I guess but with a few good Uncyclopedians working on it I'm sure we can make it laughable. --Black Flamingo 18:17, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

In and out for a few minutes. Yes, that would be fun. The possibilities are interesting. Thanks, will come by later. Aleister 18:49 5 1 '11

Sign your post.--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 01:49, January 6, 2011 (UTC)

USA! USA! vs. Primitve Taliban? with Arnold

I saw the picture; looks very convincing and yes I voted for the article.

DANCE DANCE REVOULUTION!

This is the first time I haven't put words before the image... O_o --Dancing dude 15:07, January 7, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for the welcome

I was an anonymous user 204.92.65.10 and you commented on my edit of "Cthulhu". Now I registered as user "Dracopol". Uncy help is clearly laid out so I'll learn about it. If you say you have suggestions for fun places to check out, let me know. Oh, I also contributed some humour to the article "Dungeons & Dragons". Dracopol 17:35, January 7, 2011 (UTC)

You a cello thingy?

Are you one of those things? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 11:49, January 8, 2011 (UTC)

Sure, I'll be anything. For money. Joanie Loves Chochie, I remember that on the page or on some page. Someone else removed it. Remember when a user thought it was vanity??! Aleister 11:53 8 1 '11

That was hilarious. That user was so crazy. But I was asking if you were a cellist cause OptyC and I are, and we could have formed a band. Looks like that won't be happening, though. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 11:58, January 8, 2011 (UTC)

Oh, I thought it was some kind of sexual reference that I'd never heard of. No, a drummer (hands, not with sticks, except maybe real sticks) and guitarist. I do drum circles on the street sometimes, one of the joys. Do you do cello circles on the street? Seriously, that would be so unusual that it would be covered by the media and by people who have blankets on the street. Aleister 12:03 8 1 '11

Nope. The cops in this city would arrest me. I can't even walk my chicken down Broadway in this city on Sundays. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 12:07, January 8, 2011 (UTC)

Nah, all you need is at least three drummers or three celloists and an open space, like a downtown park, or at the far edge of a farmers market. Or a block party. Lots of options. And a Cello circle would be an unusual arrest, which would be fun too. I've never heard of that city, and will read the page. And what is a Georgia? Isn't that a peach, or a transvestite named George? Oh, you must live in the country of Georgia, where the people are free some of the time until their own government bombs them. One of the two. Aleister minutes later

The city page, feature. 5 guys. Aleister 12:38 8 1 '11

The only reason I'd want it featured would be if it'd result in the city getting pissed. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 12:52, January 8, 2011 (UTC)

Hmmmmmmm. A good reason. I'd vote for it just for that. And the great pics. If it landed on VFH it may also be put on VFD, and it'd be a race to see which one got the votes first. 5 guys. Best graffetti award. Aleister 12:59 8 1 '11

hey

Siddartha didn't come cos he never wears a suit. But I had a good time at the party ;).

Well, we have a WotY on Nonsensopedia but you need to have at least 10 creative editions, including one during last 6 months in order to be eligible to vote. However, I'm currently leading the voting with a massive advantage. Actually, I've had more featured articles on Polish Nonsensopedia last year than some of my opponents wrote articles ;p. And there are only 1 day left of voting.

Good luck in the U's WotY ;).

Sir Ptok-Bentoniczny^{Pisz tutaj} • KUN 23:39, January 8, 2011 (UTC)

One More Category

I couldn't have been more pleased with your tweek'n of the article. I have since studied up on that image formatting but always need input. If you have a sec, at any available time, I would enjoy more of those crisp observations you have. The article is no where near the Pee Review phase so I appreciate the criticisms. --Omnifluff 03:52, January 11, 2011 (UTC)

Hey

Well, with your help I made it to the summit of Uncyclopedia Hill. From there I can see nothing left to do. The hill is so small, and the population is so tiny, and the value is so insignificant that it’s not worth sustained effort.

Recently some user wrote an objection to Romartus’ Yardbirds nomination 'comment', and that objection was clearly indicative of something. But when asked about it the user broke so-called rules by deleting it and the question. But the question remains, why the objection?

Apart from everything else I don’t get any sympathy nor appreciation from any of my own family, or circles of friends or clients for my involvement in a website that can often be childish and embarrassing. A place where I worked for free, and which serves no worthy purpose apart from being a toy Wikipedia.

So I’m taking a break, and may or may not be back. But I do thank you and a few others for friendship and help. I'll not be logging on so to contact me about anything please write directly. Cheers!--Funnybony    12:14, Jan 12

Huh? Al

Well, if you are serious, have a great break. If you don't come back the monument to Funnybony will be large and well lit. You do/did a great job here. And eeek, you shouldn't have told your clients, although if someone (friend, family) has smarts they don't judge a person's body of work by the worse aspects of the body of work surrounding it. I'll write soon. Aleister 12:26 12 1 '11

p.s. Just one more thing here, if you come to read his. Remember you once said that Uncy is a playground for adults. I've thought of it as that ever since. You've spent lots of time here, playing, and the site is much better for it. If there are naysayers in your personal life, or even on your on-line life, those could be considered separate from the fun of playing. Kids usually stop playing when some jerk tries to stop them. You've never quit, and so I take this as a much needed and well-earned break. And, yes, wikipedia is fun too. I've added up my two-accounts (legally, approved by admin) principal work there, and figure 70,000 people a day read much of my "stuff", so that part of my ego which needs to have readers, and to "help" people get interesting and useful information is scratched by that knowledge. Uncy, play play play, as well as to pass along some data (have you forgotten our Tantra, or just the fun of Dempsey?) This gets too long. More soon in priveto. Aleister 14:14 12 1 '11

And good luck (I have longer comments and appeals elsewhere) but my impression of Wikipedia is the opposite; as stated early-on on my user page, a large amount of the useful writing I did there (largely attempts to make a technical issue understandable) were reverted as "original research." (There is an amusing personal note on User:Dexter111344 right now from a Wikipedian disgusted at encountering a right-wing ideologue there, something I call a real man-bites-dog story.) Spıke ¬ 14:49 12-Jan-11

RE:Hello

It's nice to meet you, but the user page you directed me to isn't very descriptive. Meeting another user is like going on a blind date, so I might say hi to puppy, but I already know you're welcoming to newer users.Airhogs777 01:34, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

A lot of the tricks in those examples are really simple, but in the end produce an amazing effect. This Puppy person definately has the kind of sense of humor that belongs here.Airhogs777 02:40, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks!

'FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN'

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

I greatly appreciate your support.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:38, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

---

Long time no See

Hey old buddy. Its been a while. What? Half a year? At least.

Dont get your hopes up, im not coming back, just gonna visit for a bit and see who won the years best writer. Do me a favor, for the hell of it through me in there, just to see how HELPME and everyone reacts when my name is brought up. Anyone else quit? Lyrthia still around? How bout Happytimes? I should say hello to them too.

Anyways hope you win man, you deserve it... sorta. No not really. Just being nice. But you deserve.... stuff.

If you reply on my page i will get back to you soon. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 04:02, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

HELPME and Happytimes are gone; just sort of stopped showing up after awhile. As for Lyrithya, she got in a fluster over some template and hasn't been seen since. Not Aleister, but someone else 04:09 14 01 11

My daddy is gone! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! As for HELPME.... who really cares. But still. And Lyrithya was a B*tch anyways. Always saying stupid things and not signing her comments and what not.... who exactly are you anyway? --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 12:29, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Aleister of course. Also a new awesome user appeared so you're useless now. He is the best man I have ever seen. Suicide by supper! 12:57 15 01 11

Thats impossible... noone can be awesomer than the awesomest (me). Besides... by the looks of his page (which i have yet to see) he seems pretty homosexual. Who who exactly are you anyways? --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 13:07, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Then, it looks like you're not the only one with a gay user page. Aleister 13.09, 15 01 11

Who are you and why are you insulting me! --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master

Who said about you? I meant Chiefjustice. Also I am THE GAYLORD OF UNCYCLOPEDIA --~   13:47, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Man i missed alot... Last i checked that was HELPME --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 13:55, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

When should we laugh? --~   13:59, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

LEAVE IT. And now. We shall laugh now. Lolololol! Come on, you have to admit, it was a good joke. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 14:04, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

M&M, please stop this now. I'm going to have to archive this thing soon anyway. ou guys should really talk and get to know each other, two good people like ships passing in the Knight. Al

What's funnier than a monkey's joke? --~   14:06, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

A Happymonkeys joke.... --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 14:08, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

if you say so... --~   14:10, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

So Mimo i was looking at your contributions and noticed that i didnt see you made any articles. Is this true or did i just not see it? --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 14:29, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

I think I have make two, or three... they were all deleted. But then I created this for the second time and it hasn't been deleted. So the number of my articles that survived the deletion is... one. --~   15:24, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Well I now grow hungry after reading it. But truth be told i can't compliment or criticize it since i have never had souvlaki myself. And being an honest to god Jew myself i give you premision to make some mild joke about my kind due to the mention of WWII... But go too far and i will kill you. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 02:06, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

When? --~   07:23, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

BOO

Now that I have your attention. I'm back. -- Sir SF13 (Talk) GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 00:23 EST 15 JAN 11

Thanks! Again!

'FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN'

Thank you for yet again supporting my recently featured article.

I yet again greatly appreciate your support.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:35, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

---

Reply to your bizarrely placed comment on my talk page

Obviously a tie would be best, and I'll do all I can. A few of the "big guys" have yet to vote, like 'Dillo, who normally leaves everything to the last possible second. I'll be doing the same, hoping to tie as many of the three of you as I can. I wouldn't take it too seriously though Al. If you end up the sole winner, it won't be a case of you not deserving it. It's only a fucking website anyway, it's not like it matters! If the community choose you, then that's that, and you do deserve it, by the way. I'm sure Soggy and Mhaille won't be that bothered to be runners up, they have plenty of acclaim on the site already. I'd love to get Guildy involved as well, who may actually be my favourite writer on the the site, despite not being as prolific as yourself or Sog. There's still half a month left, who knows what could happen (Merlin knows, obviously. He has already lived through the future). --Black Flamingo 23:02, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Just trying to be fucking half-way coy about it. Of course it'd be fun to win, but not without Sog and Mhaille, some of the fun would be tempered. Did you see that Skinfan is back? In his honor and by way of saying that the frat doors are open again, I did a few edits on the frat's Blockbuster. And it's actually calling your name! Aleister 23:09 15 1 '11

Wow, so it is, and it's not even the username template. I'll see what I can do, you coy old dog. --Black Flamingo 23:30, January 15, 2011 (UTC)