User talk:SysRq/12

This is an ARCHIVED talk page. Please do not edit this, or I WILL kill you.

Burp

I thank you... MrN 22:10, Mar 21

What the hell kinda rape was that? There was no penetration! No bleeding! And you call yourself an Uncyclopedian. I call you a disgrace. —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:13, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

Love you.--MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:22, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

That was...awful. Thank you. Much more like it. —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:30, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

Oh, sorry. That burp was actually more of a squelch. It was the sound of me ripping my 12" cock out of your saggy bleeding anus having ejaculated in your sorry arse for 17th and last time this evening cos you are suck a shit fuck. I do apologise. MrN 23:12, Mar 21

That's MISTER Shit Fuck to you. Carry on. —Sir SysRq (talk) 16:52, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

<chants>Sissy can't take it/ sissy can't take it/ sissy can't take it and he is a woman.</chants> ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 17:04 22 March 2009

Well, I do say that. —Sir SysRq (talk) 17:39, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

What? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 20:17 22 March 2009

Suck this motherfucker

HAHAHA! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:29, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

Meh, I was too late. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:46, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, MrN beat you to it with his burp or whatever he wants to call it. I would have rather been raped by you. You wouldn't have been so quick to leave. You'd probably spend more time humiliating me and shit. —Sir SysRq (talk) 16:53, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

Hey

Um ya don't mean to go against you or anything, but I think I should say something. Your Imperial Colonization started out great but it was just a quick hit and now nothing. Personally, I wanted to be a big part of this and contribute. Sadly, the Al Gore one I was too busy and this one...well...to be honest I don't know enough about Jews to contribute. I suggest we just scrap the whole Jew thing and start a new one because I don't think anyone will write on this. Or at least start another one while this one slowly makes its way. Otherwise, this will quickly be forgotten. I don't know if there is anything else to be done. But ya. Later ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 21:00, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

Hey, just to reiterate what I've had to reiterate a few times already on the IC talk page and various forums and such, we are indeed going to just move on from Jew and start a new Colonization for this week. Be patient and wait until midnight GMT (7:00 EST, 3:00 PST) and we will have a new Colonization for you to participate in. While we're talking about IC, I've been trying to work out what made Jew such a flop and realized that in addition to it being just such a big project, we never really had a central concept to it in the first place because certain users felt unsure of what the central concept was. I'm thinking of implementing a voting system for the concept phase and making it a bit more concrete as to what the concept is. Suggestions? Comments? Cocks? —Sir SysRq (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

Sorry I never saw your iterations in the first place. But I do think the concept wasn't well thought through. Maybe you should stretch this to as big as a Pee Review sort of thing. What I mean by this, is that you have a full on menu with multiple pages. One with the intro like the Pee Review thing, one for what we have done, one for achievements, one for our current one and outline, and then a list keeping track of who has participated. With things like different flags for participating in 5, 10, and 25 and stuff like that. Make an award for Colonizer of the Month and so on. Just make it bigger than it is. Just an idea though. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 22:01, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

Yes, this does need some further development. Perhaps having subpages would be a good idea, but for now I'd just like to get something going for this week. I'm thinking of setting up tables for proposing new ideas, making it all pretty and such. Also, a tracking page similar to User:Cajek/Pee is something I've wanted to do, but frankly I need some help getting it going. If you'd be willing to be the official "Give people their points for the week guy" then I think we can start something like that. Finally, about Colonizer of the Month, I wanted to do something like that (even tried to start it myself) but Mordillo didn't like the idea and made a pretty strong case against it. Let's focus on getting IC back on its feet first and then we can go nuts. Thanks so much for being concerned about IC, Tags, it really helps knowing there are others who want to help out. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:03, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

Ya no problem! I think this could really work. Kinda like the hospital of the site. And ya could you put me as the official give people their points for the week person? Would it be just 1 for every participation or should we do something like, if you did major contributions five points and for every minor contribution 1? Just some ideas. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 02:11, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

Aye, I've taken the liberty of adding a scoretable to the IC main page. You are now officially in charge of it. Points are simply one per participation, whether it be contributions to the ideas or to the page itself. Make a judgment call on who gets a point and who doesn't. I generally consider someone to have participated if they make any kind of significant contribution, I only withhold points if people just make a few comments and then don't contribute past that. Dish out the points on Saturdays based on the revision history of the Colonization and the talk page. Thanks for stepping up, this really helps a lot. —Sir SysRq (talk) 02:17, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

Of course dude! Happy to help. Should I add something to the top of the list to say I will take care of the list or do you want to add something. There really doesn't have to be anything I guess but ya. If you want I can also add people to the list as they request. If you would like that. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 02:29, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

I'll add a note somewhere, don't worry. And yes, as we get new user requests wait for me to okay them and then it'll be your responsibility to add their names to the list. Keep three requests up there at a time, remove the oldest one each time. But each time I accept someone, add them to the list but leave their request. Just remove the oldest one if necessary to keep the total number of requests at three. Understand? Reading that back it seems a bit muddled. —Sir SysRq (talk) 02:51, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

How will I know you okayed a request? ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 13:45, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

You must trust your heart, my son. You heart will know when it is ready. (I'll leave a comment under approved requests.) —Sir SysRq (talk) 13:55, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

Got it! Alright I will get on it. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 15:17, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

IC

How can I participate in Imperial Colonization, sir admin? :) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:37, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

Hehe, admin? Me? Sorry, I was enjoying my moment. And you've done it right this time, please just wait for us to process your request. And by that, I mean I just need to go move your name. So it's really just me being lazy. Okay, so I've gone from being an admin to being a lazy bastard. That was a terrible few minutes. I'll go add you now. —Sir SysRq (talk) 00:37, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

Quest for the Mighty Sword

I watched it. It was terrible. Terribly awesome! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 04:02, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

Did Ator ever obtain the Might Sword? Wait, don't answer that. Don't spoil it. —Sir SysRq (talk) 13:19, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

Okay. I won't spoil it for you. Suffice it to say that Ator did it all, man. He ran up a hill. Then he ran beside a hill. Then he ran down a hill. Then he chopped a two-headed knight in half with the Mighty Swo...hand. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 01:33, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

DAMMIT NOW I CAN'T WATCH IT. —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:35, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

And he fought a conveniently man-sized dragon that shot fire for, like, an hour as it walked slowly toward him. Then it stopped and just stood there as Ator and his Migh...foot chopped it up. It was awesome. Had I paid more attention to the film, I would've written an UnMovie Review. That's how awesome it was. It was too awesome to even pay attention. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 01:47, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

If you want to see some terrible articles.

I preserved teh Pre-Colonization version of UN:IC victim's on my userpage.

Just in case you wanted to know.Saberwolf116 21:32, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

Very cute. You could have also just linked to the old revisions, but whatever. —Sir SysRq (talk) 21:42, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

Yeah...well...your face.Saberwolf116 21:54, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

Well, you got me there. —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:15, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

While we're on the subject, are non-colonizers allowed to nominate colonizations?Saberwolf116 22:18, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

They're welcome to vote, not nominate. —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:22, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

How come you never look me in the eyes when we make love?

Was it the herpes? -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:32, 24 Mar

...Yes? (I'm not really sure what the right answer is here.) —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:58, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Pie. The correct answer is always pie. -OptyC Sucks! CUN14:48, 26 Mar

In grongitude

 In gratitude for your vote  

  The GlobalTourniquet says "Thanks!"  

Understandably, you voted for my article for featuring. Although your "for" vote was not extraordinary, as the article's genius was beyond question, it is still appropriate to acknowledge your dutiful participation in the process.

So, in gratitude for your vote, I will dedicate my next coma to you. Thank you.

The following coma causes are available for this honor. Please indicate below this template which one you would like me to dedicate to your user name.

Overdose Car crash Beating Obscure, easily misdiagnosed illness

IC

Where shall we write the new MJ page? I mean, where exactly on the IC page? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 00:04, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Michael Jackson/Colonization. The bible will reflect this change in the rules shortly. —Sir SysRq (talk) 00:16, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Your status bar is lying again.

I'm willing to bet that since you horassed me on my talkpage, you are online. Sir Not A Good Username360 KUN 00:32, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

My status bar often lies about things about which it does not know. Please forgive its insolence. —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:57, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Just FYI

I think your efforts are deplorable and you such in a major major way. Also, sex anyone? ~ 13:06, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

I'll take one, thanks. —Sir SysRq (talk) 13:26, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Depends who's giving it away. --UU - natter 13:34, Mar 25

Sys' mom, obviously. ~ 13:41, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Oh. I'm not in the market for second hand goods. --UU - natter 13:45, Mar 25

I'll put my second hand on your goods. —Sir SysRq (talk) 13:49, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Promises promises. --UU - natter 13:50, Mar 25

Yeah, I know. I get it from my father. —Sir SysRq (talk) 13:52, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

So how many hands do you have exactly? I counted six already, two of them feeling up various members of Uncycloedia. ~ 13:53, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

I really couldn't say. I think I may have eleven, which would be nice. One for each of my dicks. —Sir SysRq (talk) 13:59, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Keep that thing away from me! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:00, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Which one? /me pulls out my large keychain of dicks —Sir SysRq (talk) 14:04, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

AAAAAAAAA! /me pulls out my large shotgun —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:20, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

AAAAAAAAA! /me pulls out my large dick —Sir SysRq (talk) 14:22, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

*bang* The horror is over. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:54, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Yea, Oh God, I feel good, suck my balls, faster, yea, God, faster bitch, oh yea.. *splash* SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 15:06, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

UnPoetia:Harder, She Cried —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:09, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

*walks in* Hey guuuOOOH MY GOD! Wrong conversation to walk in on. *runs out* ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 15:11, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

You should write That time I was nearly raped during my sojourn in SysRq's talkpage. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:19, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

guards, after him SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 15:14, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

I don't think this conversation was ever really "the right conversation to walk in on". —Sir SysRq (talk) 16:53, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Burp. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 16:54 25 March 2009

And I created this monster. Me. ~ 17:03, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

You create most monsters. Especially this one. /me finds Mordillo's dick on my keychain Very impressive. You must be the pride of all of Jews. —Sir SysRq (talk) 17:59, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Danke schön!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Guildensternenstein

---

Thanks!

Neil thanks you for voting! Obviously by Neil I mean 'I' cos you know that people who refer to themselves in the third person like that actually tend to be kinda narcissistic and I'm not - well I mean I wouldn't say I was - so from now on I'll say 'I', I just had to say Neil so you knew that it was me and not somebody else. So I came here to say thanks for advertising my daily torment I hope that now more people will have a greater understanding of why I'm so dysfunctional. Thanks, did I say that?

I am flattered that you loved it so much. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 12:42 26 March 2009

I am pleased that you wrote such a fantastic article. Now bend over. —Sir SysRq (talk) 13:47, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

Yes daddy. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 14:00 26 March 2009

Well, I was actually addressing Mr. Ben Dover, but whatever. We can fuck too. —Sir SysRq (talk) 14:12, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

Dude, that's so gay. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 14:15 26 March 2009

Shut up, faggot. Just take it in the ass like a man. —Sir SysRq (talk) 14:20, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

ic intro

Well, my introduction isnt very good, but man, yours is actually WIKIPEDIA. Come on you can do better than that, you are an experienced user and your humour is extremely good, as per what I see on your talk page.. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 14:34, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

hey, something else, loosely related to our topic. How about making the colonized articles semi-protected? just for a month or so.. You see, you dont want IP asshats shitting on your newly colonized page after a week or two, given that those article are most likely to be the first our average user searches for. Would you propose this for voting at the IC page? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 15:01, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

That's not an issue to be decided by the IC. The answer to that would be no. We only protect pages beforehand if they're featured on the main page, and only for the feature period. Many IPs are good contributors and not asshats. You can request for protection if a specific article have been vandalized. Other than that, we're still a wiki - therefor - open. ~ 17:18, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

Like Sys' brown eye. -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:26, 26 Mar

God forbids, I didnt say that IP's are asshats. I meant to say that asshats are mainly IP's (except me, I am an asshat and a registered user), you know, like random guys who will add <insert name here> is teh ghey everywhere and think it is funny.. Anyway, forget it, forget the whole thing SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 17:57, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

Yes, like I've tried to tell you before, I'm not an admin so I can't do that. And even if I were, my thinking would be that this is a wiki and anyone can change it. The only time we bar users from editing certain pages is when they are featured. As for my intro, it's a work in progress and I'm, well, I'm working on it. But the humor is there, it's subtle. I'm open to criticism, but I'm also going to defend my work. The joke is that the author is accrediting him with much more than he has actually done (hence the list of titles) as well as set the scene for bias throughout the article. This is a subtle and conceptual joke, and it's not going to be laugh-out-loud funny. It's going to be a bold statement, rather, said with humor. —Sir SysRq (talk) 18:43, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

IC - Potatochopperian Assistant/Slave

Hi! So, I know that IC membership is being limited at present but I really like what you guys are doing over there. The writing thing hasn't really happened for me, yet. Hence I don't qualify for participation. But I was wondering if I could help out image-wise? Kind of like a potato-wielding colonial servant... or something. --^Dame 16:59, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

•  For. -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:07, 26 Mar
•  For. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 17:10, 26 March 2009 (UTC)
•  For. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 17:24, 26 March 2009 (UTC)
•  For. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 17:47, 26 March 2009 (UTC)
•  For. I was actually thinking about asking you just this question. You're in as an honorary chopper. I'm actually going to lift the article requirement and just start kicking people out after three weeks of inactivity instead. —Sir SysRq (talk) 18:36, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

• Yay! Thanks. I hope I can be of service. Do you guys need anything specific for the Michael Jackson conquest? --^Dame 18:40, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

That one may just be more straight photographs than anything else. I can't think of any good images for that. But then again, I'm not really an image guy. Neither are you. But that's because you are an image girl instead. So there. =P (If you, in your chopping wisdom, can come up with some good ideas for chops that would be subtle and tasteful I would entertain such ideas.) I'm off to add you to the list right now, by the way. —Sir SysRq (talk) 18:48, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

Like Jesus, Michael Jackson just wants the little children to come to him

Ok, so I've had an idea, but it is not "tasteful" AT ALL. In fact, it is decidedly tasteless. Which is why I am running it by you first. I thought since you are defending Michael's "allegations" of child tampering, this might work. But I think it might be a bit over the top. So I'll leave it to your discretion, I'm still trying to get into the swing of the whole IC thing. --^Dame 11:01, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

It's rather tasteless, it lacks class, and it's just awful. I love it. Put it up on the Colonization talk page if you want to discuss its use further, but I think you could just put it up on the Colonization page as is. —Sir SysRq (talk) 13:36, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Ahem, I thought I was the official lister caretaker. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 13:48, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

I thought you were sucking my dick. Get back down there. —Sir SysRq (talk) 14:14, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

One of these days Sissy, one of these days... ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 14:57, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Listen to your inner voice of reason

Aa, Aaaaa. A aaa aaaaaa aa aaa aaaaa aaaa, aaaa A aa aaa. Aaa aaa AAAA, aaa? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 18:22, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

k —Sir SysRq (talk) 18:53, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

please do it ASAP SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 21:03, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

...k —Sir SysRq (talk) 21:23, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

now, move your bloody arse to the colonization page and load the cannon, maggot write a section, admiral! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 21:35, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Bitch, you don't get to tell me what to do! (Yeah, I'm getting over there.) —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:32, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

aye captain, All hands on dicks (including yours, on mine) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:00, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Cute. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:01, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

are you still here? Go load a cannon or write something, for her majesty's sake, we only have on hour til the Spanish fleet arrives and pwns us. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:05, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Christ, I'm working on it. I'm aware of the deadlines, my friend. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:06, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

btw, how old are you? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:12, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

17. I'm young for an Uncyclopedian. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:18, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Im 17.75, Im older than you, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*cough*.. Whatever, get back to work.. Proof-read the article, and see if there is anything that doesnt make sense.. Quick, the Spanish are in the horizon. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:24, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Wow! I'm 16 and better than all of you. Leddy's 16, too. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 23:25, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, but then you have the old farts like Dillo, Dine, and Dickhead. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:27, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Yea. Those old farts. Old and farts. MrYoungAndSprightly 23:29, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

To all: Go to VFH! Also, see Douche. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:30, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Oh yeah, and then there's MrN9000 MrN9001. That old cranky robot. He has no control over his sphincter, he's so old. Kinda like Cajek (who is also twentysomething) —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:32, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

damn, so we are the brats here, after all SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:34, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

HA! I'm older than all of you! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:35, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Doubt that Socky. :P Anyway, don't listen to him! this is where all the cool people are voting For. Yep. Cool. People. Voting. For. You got it right kids. Course some nasty people are voting against. Might be cos it's a bit shit actually... Now who stole my newspaper? MrN 23:37, Mar 27

Oh yeah, and Chris is like 40 methinks. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:38, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

wah wah, agoogom agaa gaga, da da, ma ma *shits in diaper* SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:45, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

The internet is a wonderful place. Where else could middle aged men groom hang out with guys half their age? MrN 23:44, Mar 27

The YMCA? The local community college? The morgue? —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:49, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Banned from the first two. Hmm... The the morgue eh? Why did I not think of that before? It's a lot less effort than digging them up everytime. MrN 23:52, Mar 27

Start over again, comments are starting to get off page SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:56, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

ah, I have a nice morgue over here, at college SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:58, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Hey! I'm only 35 you asshat! -OptyC Sucks! CUN14:37, 31 Mar

IC

• burp* do we need another day at the IC? *fart* Shall we put it for pee review now? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 00:09, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 26th March 09

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Free Newspaper Only Two People Started Out Editing, But Now They Want Nothing To Do With!

March 26th, 2009 • Issue 40• Spooning the Soggy Vegetables of Truth from the Luke-warm Soup of the News

MrN's banstick stuck in "on" position By UU Popular admin, underwear enthusiast and raconteur MrN9000 has gone on a ban-rampage unprecedented in the recent history of the wiki. Seemingly keen to win his first bastard admin award, the conscientious custodian has already banned more people this month than all the other admins combined. The other admins rallied bravely, with even Spang being seen to ban someone (only his third of the year) as they tried to show they were not now completely surplus to requirements. However, even as this story was typed, MrN banned another 3 vandals, rendering their efforts ultimately futile. Speculation that he is trying to ban more people on an individual basis than Hinoa managed in one go when he banned the whole of Italy cannot be confirmed or denied at the time of going to press. When asked about his phenomenal spree, MrN said "What do all these buttons with "Ban" written on them do? I keep pushing them, but nothing appears to happen". Banning legend Mordillo, when asked for a comment on MrN's ban excesses, said "I believe the man is a menace, and danger to society. I believe he should be castrated, quartered, hanged, torched and his ashes should be scattered over France. I believe he should burn in hell for all eternity. What? Do I feel pity about all those who he banned? Fuck no, I didn't have anyone to ban because of the bastard!" Uncyclopedia now famous By Gerrycheevers In a totally unexpected development, Uncyclopedia has officially earned the worldwide recognition it has longed for since its inception. On the website digg.com, all internet content is sorted and ranked by coolness, similar to the process found in many middle schools. It seems Uncyc's page on spam has reached sufficient 'cool' status as to cause the rest of the site to become invited to the "cool kid's lunch table", along with theonion.com and cracked.com. Reactions were unusually mixed today in the Uncyclopedia break room. When asked what it's like to suddenly be cool, Optimuschris said, "shit, I'll let you know when I find out." Another user, DrStrange, was asked for a comment, and promptly responded "comment duly delivered!" Clearly, popularity has already gone to Uncyclopedians' heads, as such chippy responses are rarely seen. Uncyclopedians have become too cool for school. When asked for comment regarding adding a sentence to the end of this article to extend its length and make this week's UnSignpost look pretty, Gerrycheevers said, "bugger off."

Check out these pages! April fool? 24,000 articles and counting A welcome new feature? From our logs: 14:22, 26 March 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.43.66.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Cyberbullying: UN:FAIL another victim of the Gay trap. Yep, this means that you are probably homosexual. Seriously, one day you will realise this yourself.) 01:24, 24 March 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked Q.V. (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (FINE!!!!! I'LL SUCK YOUR COCK!!!! GOD, I JUST LOVE THE SEMEN OF A RACIST!!!!!!) 23:28, 20 March 2009 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Barton sucks (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 days ‎ (Whilst Barton does indeed suck, you're barely literate and tragically unfunny. Read HTBFANJS and try again later.) Biopic of the Week Continuing our series of biopics on Uncyc legends, Hardwick Fundlebuggy won Writer of the Month back in 2006, at a time when you were lucky to have an article survive VFD. His awesome writing style resulted in him being named Writer of the Year, of which there are only four so far. It's just unfortunate he had to go to jail... Old-School Featured Article of the Week Snopes is a website dealing with the delicious diversion that is rumor. Whenever you overhear there is a computer virus set to attack, whenever you hear that your favorite horse is actually a zebra, whenever you are told your girlfriend is a lesbian...Snopes will be there to tell you the truth...mostly. Old-School Cajek Ban of the Week 23:10, 5 April 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 67 seconds ‎ (That'll teach YOU to get a false sense of security!)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  01:48, Mar 28

This issue sucked. Do it again. —Sir SysRq (talk) 02:36, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

The second part was not about me for some reason. I will speak to the editors... MrN 02:38, Mar 28

And I will have sex with them. —Sir SysRq (talk) 02:45, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Its Saturday!

And I am going to edit the list for the new week, but could you please add something telling people not to touch it and I will monitor it and any problems should come to me...or something like that? ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 14:36, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Yes, I will make a nice little press statement as well as a comment on the template itself. Perhaps I could see if an admin wants to keep an eye on it and give anyone who messes with it a nice thump on the head. —Sir SysRq (talk) 15:49, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Woot! Alright sounds good thanks Sissy. By the way, do we got someone scheduled to pee on Michael Jackson? That sounds a bit weird...but oh well. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 15:55, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

I don't know. I just put up the review. You can't do it because you helped this time. I'll have to find someone else. —Sir SysRq (talk) 15:59, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Also, I just put up some nice red words yelling at anyone that is not you. You may now edit the template in peace. (Which means, update the list, asshole!) —Sir SysRq (talk) 16:04, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Oh I know I can't be the reviewer, I was just asking because we need to get this one finished by today so it doesn't turn into a Jew, because those are the worst. And I'm on it. From what I can see we got you, me, Mahmoosha, Global, Sockpuppet, Sonje, Joe, and TFK. Anyone else just inform me about but everyone else made contributions not worthy of a point in my eyes. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 16:08, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Don't forget Ger and Chris. They helped with concept, which is just as important. —Sir SysRq (talk) 16:11, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Done and got em. I did one extra thing. I put the list in order from the number of colonizations done, then the latest ones are on top. So all Michael Jackson is on top for one, then two. I am not explaining it right but just take a look and see if I did good. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 16:20, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Looks great. Well done. —Sir SysRq (talk) 17:31, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Danke schön!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Guildensternenstein

---

In Gratitude I Give Thee..

Mahm00shA has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Gratitude for what? As far as I remember, it was you who gargled my balls. —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:57, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

for your support at IC, but meh.. Hey, care to suck my flagpole a little? You know, just to rid me of this nasty boner.. Oh, and no need to deep throat me, just suck and lick SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:03, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Kinda my job to support people at IC, seeing as how it's my little club and all. But thanks anyways, I will enjoy this cookie almost as much as I will your nutsack. Ooh, you didn't tell me you had crabs. How exotic. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:21, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

and AIDS, too. Welcome to the club SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:27, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

That may be the best thing to say right after sex. "Welcome to the AIDS club, bitch." —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:30, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

or write it down in a note, and leave it for you to read when you wake up the following morning SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:37, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Indeed. My brother and I come up with awkward things to say to women just before, during, and after sex. Next time a girl takes her shirt of for you, just smile and say "like taking candy from a baby." Either that or "gotcha!" will work. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:52, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

then, you might want to help me at HowTo:Suck cock SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:55, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

I got to go sleep now, its 2 am here SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 00:05, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

So like

Jolly Good Show! MrN9000 could not help but notice that you have been doing some spiffingly good deeds of late. As such, you have been awarded this rather nice boxy type thing by way of recognition. Congratulations.

For the stuff and such. I think you will probably have to keep pushing this forward yourself for a good while yet before it is able to function without your attention. I hope you have the drive in you to do that. Seriously. It's a bloody good thing you are doing over there and I hope you are able to keep it up.

Now don't take this wrong way. I still think you are an asshole. MrN 20:08, Mar 29

Yay! Assholes! I like assholes, nice, tight vigin ones. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 23:38 29 March 2009

How would you know? MrN 23:39, Mar 29

Trust me, he knows. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:43, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

All this time by myself. What else should I do? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 23:44 29 March 2009

Thanks, friend. I really appreciate your help over the last day or so, as well. I totally expected IC to be like this, though, and I'm ready to give it mouth to mouth for as long as I have to until it finally chucks up that piece of pork and can resume eating after a good yuk or two. That reminds me, I have a template for you as well. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:55, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

An award for MrN. What could that be? Probably something about "My pants off to you". —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:57, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Cute. Although he'd have to be the one to do that. I like that though. Good job. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:58, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

I made the template! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:24, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

IC

hey sys, sorry i contributed a sum total of zero to the michael jackson colonization. last week was not very uncyc-friendly for me and i couldn't get any writing momentum up. i'm not walking away, though, and i'll try my very hardest to contribute something this week. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:58, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

No worries mang. You still got credit for your contributions to the concept. Hope to see you this week. Also, if you wouldn't mind picking up some of my slack when it comes to administrative stuff like adding and removing templates, (which needs to be done now) I'd totally appreciate it. —Sir SysRq (talk) 16:00, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

sure sure, i'll take a look around and see what needs templateification. i assume you mean michael jackson needs a 'completed' one, and great britain needs an 'in progress' one. i do hope to help out more than i've been doing since al gore was wrapped up, and i apologize once again for starting this whole mess, but i do look forward to striving to be your second-in-command of IC. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:32, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

It's my mess, you just inspired it. And as such, you are to be my number two as punishment. =] Tell you what, if I see some serious commitment this week, I'll put you in an honorary position so that people know to come to you in my absence. Even better, I'll let you make up that title (so long as it's like some kind of admiral) if you want; otherwise I'll just promote you to Admiral. Now if you could also try to keep an eye on Category:Nominated Colonizations and make sure all the templates are where they need to be as far as nominations go, I would greatly appreciate it. —Sir SysRq (talk) 17:39, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

oh good, that category helps a lot. i already removed the old ones and put some new ones up, i also made a template to go at the bottom of the main colonization page that highlights our non-yet-featured articles. i'm looking forward to great britain and earning my stripes, or dots, or whatever it is you'll use to mark me as your flunky. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:59, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

Probably urine, so that my dogs know you're mine too. Also, great job on the non-feature templates. Go ahead and distribute those and I'll...do nothing. As usual. Sometimes that's just how it goes. —Sir SysRq (talk) 18:16, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

I would also like to apologize for my lack of participation with MJ, my whole state's been declared a disaster area and I haven't had any time for Uncyc in the last week. MJ turned out great guys! -OptyC Sucks! CUN14:41, 31 Mar

Dude

Remind me again why we have the Colonization of the Week thing on the main page? The link goes to an article which we are not even editing (it's on a subpage) and there are restrictions about joining IC anyway right? Not that I have a problem with it being there (obviously) I'm just not sure that it serves any purpose... Ya get me? MrN 22:26, Mar 30

I like it being there because it reminds people that IC is alive and kicking, and that yes, we do stuff. The active community is still pretty aware of us, but new users or users who don't take an active part in the community may not be so aware of IC. Therefore, the template is for them. If they see it change every week, they know that we're doing something and that good things are happening. That's why I like it there. —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:30, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

Jesus MrN, just bitch bitch bitch ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 22:31, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

I know. I bet it's because I haven't fed him in a week. —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:34, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

feed me SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 22:37, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

Shit how'd he get in here? ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 22:38, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

The same way you were about to leave, chief. —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:40, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

Ouch baby, very ouch ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 22:41, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

Yeah baby! Oh yeah! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:43, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

But it encourages people to edit an article which is about to be replaced. Is that a good idea? Maybe there is another way which we can whore out IC without guiding people to the wrong place... What's the point of people getting shown an article which about to be replaced? The point is to let people know about IC and introduce them into getting involved. I doubt if the regs who are in IC will be affected by it being there. Maybe the wording could be changed or something? I doubt if many people click the "us" link, they are more likely to go to the main link. Maybe a link to last weeks colonisation as well? I don't know, I just don't think it's right as it is. MrN 22:46, Mar 30

Maybe we should let it link to the colonization page. That way everybody can see how we screw up. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:48, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

the link goes to the colonization talk, "us" goes to IC SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 22:53, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

The link did go to the article. I changed it. Check it out. I think it keeps everyone happy like that now. If people are interested enough they will figure it out... If anyone has a better suggestion you can all fuck off. Or not. Up to you really. :P MrN 23:24, Mar 30

I have a better suggestion; FEED ME, I AM HUNGRYYY SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:33, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

/me throws apple in Mahmoosha's face Here, some healthy food. Eat it! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:37, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

Wtf? No desserts?! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:39, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

MrN, to bottom line it, I'm happy with it the way it is. If you aren't, you may move the link, just link to last week's colonization, or just link to IC. —Sir SysRq (talk) 00:03, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

Take a look at what I did... You still have the name of the current IC there, but the link goes to the main IC page. We could add a link to last weeks colonisation also. Also, also, your talk page appears to be infested with termites. Would you like me to fetch the spray? MrN 00:24, Mar 31

Wrong again Sissy, this is the bottom line. Haha get it? ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 00:06, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Now, thats the bottom line SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 00:20, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

---

---

---

No, here is the bottom line

I just realized that this whole discussion is about me putting the "wrong" link on the front page. Obviously, since I'm infallible it means you're all mistaken. I shall now be deopping MrN and ban the lot of you. I'll delete IC just to be on the safe side. ~ 15:03, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

Maybe you should deop yourself just to be on the safe side. There's nothing safe about entrusting power to Jews. —Sir SysRq (talk) 16:46, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

I love you

Thou Shalt Suffer Mahm00shA smiteth thee. Fire be upon thee <insert name here>. Mahm00shA maketh thee to burn. Thou who art hateful unto him. Mahm00shA pierceth thy head. He cutteth through thy face. He melteth thine countenance. Lo, thy skull is crushed in his hand. Thy bones are smashed in pieces.

SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 00:23, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

i dun geddit —Sir SysRq (talk) 16:49, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

So, Bitch.

What's happening with this? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 19:49 31 March 2009

OI! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 20:09 1 April 2009

Uh, whah, WHAH? Oh. Eh. I'll nom it again and see how it does. —Sir SysRq (talk)

Congratulations

For winning the UoTM.. I wont call you names for one week to come, fucker SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 05:29, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Thanks, friend. —Sir SysRq (talk) 20:37, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

IC (i named it that just to piss you off)

hey sys, some thoughts:

1) while i was initially opposed to removing all of the noms each week, i now think it's the best method, since it prevents us from getting stuck doing articles that have lost momentum or were voted on by long-gone users. i'll keep up with the noms and associated templates as much as i can.

2) i also agree with removing colonizers after three weeks of inactivity, but i think we should at least give them a talk page warning before booting them and stripping them of their stripes. if you agree, i'll leave a message tomorrow to those users who haven't partaken since al gore, asking them to come on over and help out this week. the no-shows can get retired (or straight-up booted if they never participated at all, right now nearly half of our colonizers have never done a lick).

3)looks like this week's effort might be ill-fated again, but i'm trying to turn it around (with minimal help from the bloody limeys who just sit there drinking tea and mocking my effort). what do you think of the intro i have so far?

4)looks like we picked the wrong time to get all colonizy with respect to your schedule...have you been busy again? just remember what i keep telling myself: we're not colonizing to churn out a feature a week, we're merely seeking to improve popular articles to 'adequate' status, and we're 3 for 3.

cheers. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:04, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Just a drive by comment on point 4 by Mr. Cheevers; this is why I don't consider Jew to be a failure or quagmire or anything like that. It may have been slow going and fallen a bit short of our (rather lofty) goals, but the end result is infinitely better than what we started with. That makes it a successful colonization in my eyes. If we keep referring to it (and this goes for any article on IC) as a failure it could be a bit demoralizing to the ones who participated. Not me mind, I hate Uncyclopedia and everyone on it. But other people. They might get offended. Maybe even hurt a little. No; I'm not crying, I just got some dust in my eye. -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:21, 1 Apr

Alright, I'm here. I agree that removing all noms makes sense now if we have someone willing to do it. Also, I'll try to come up with a template to drop on people's pages to remind them to participate or risk expulsion. Alsoalso, I'm getting my ass over there now. Alsoalsoalso, I think I may be good this week, just don't expect me on and writing all the time. Thanks so much for your commitment, Ger. I appreciate it. And Chris, you can go fuck yourself. —Sir SysRq (talk) 20:23, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Alright, now I'm crying. -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:32, 1 Apr

And now I'm cumming. Your tears get me off. —Sir SysRq (talk) 20:41, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

I thought it was my mouth that got you off. -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:46, 1 Apr

April Fools. —Sir SysRq (talk) 20:47, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

In what way am I your mouth, Opty? Or is it just because that I speek for gays everywhere? Get it because you're gay. lol! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 20:13 2 April 2009

I'm not gay! I just call my mouth Orian57 when I'm masturbating SysRq. Filthy pervert. -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:27, 2 Apr

hey sys, an update: i'll be off-wiki all weekend after tonight, so i won't be able to do weekly IC maintenence stuff until monday morning, but i will take care of whatever there is left to do at that point when i return. i think great britain looks promising. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:17, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

Is that because it's normally me that's wrapped around SysRq? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 20:39 2 April 2009

Thanks Ger. I'm real impressed with all that you've done this week, if you want I can give you a special title or just promote you to Admiral and put a little star by it to signify that you're now my official number two. Just let me know what you wanna do. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:23, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

hmm...perhaps lance admiral? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 00:21, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

It's done. Thanks again. —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:46, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 2nd April 09

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The periodical without any junk in its trunk!

April 5th, 2009 • Issue 41 • In the fashion of Illogicopedia, the only Newspaper that will divide a Volkswagen!

EVIL WIKIA DICTATORS SHUT DOWN UNCYCLOPEDIA By Gerrycheevers Due to high operational costs and "the community being a bunch of gits", the nefarious Uncyclopedia overlords at Wikia shut down the comedy wiki yesterday. This resulted in much confusion, outrage, and blundering about in the dark. When asked to comment about the situation, Orian57 said, "No, because you'll actually put what I say into the paper, and last time you made me look really stupid. Although it is a tad inconvenient. And what do you mean 'Cabal'?" It should be noted that Orian is both exceedingly intelligent and unbearably attractive, and there most certainly is not a cabal of any kind. Other users seemed to have been expecting this for some time. Necropaxx had this to say: "Honestly, I'm surprised it took this long for Wikia to do this. We Uncyclopedians have been total jerks for far too long. I suggest we all go to Wikia and give Jimbo Wales a nice big "We're sorry" and hope he's feeling generous." This editor took this advice to mean that we should vandalize Wikipedia furiously, and redirected their page on Karma to Coincidence. At press time, Uncyclopedia still did not exist, and many in the community expressed doubt that the Wikia Council would ever reinstate the site. With the recent drama over the domain change, and the promise of ads descending swiftly into every corner and crevasse of our wiki, we seem to be simply too much trouble to be bothered with. This reporter considers it to be good while it lasted, and offeres up a toast to the good old days of Uncyclopedia. Image of Dog Holding Paper, not used in UnSignpost for over Nine Months, Makes Glorious Return to UnSignpost By Gerrycheevers This reporter is proud to say that, after being absent from the UnSignpost for over nine months, our lovable mascot "DogNewspaper" has returned to grace this periodical once again. DogNewspaper made his debut in the second issue of the UnSignpost, which covered such stories as 'UnSignpost created' and 'Uncyclopedia is the worst'. After bringing you the second story in issues 2 through 5, DogNewspaper was promoted to "top dog", and accompanied the lead story for four issues in June 2008. DogNewspaper took an extended hiatus after Issue 9 to "see the world" and, more urgently, "sniff the world". After many exciting adventures, our mascot is back to stay, and will likely be used many more times in the coming months in what editor Gerrycheevers referred to as "blatant space-filler. DogNewspaper can take a story and squish it to the left side of the page, extending its length. Now get off my lawn!" DogNewspaper declined to comment, but did wag his tail enthusiastically before rolling over in an effort to have his belly scratched.

Check out these pages! Fabulous! Jimbo is here...? Modus and nostalgia...again From our logs: 00:52, 27 March 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 121.91.59.14 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (I can't write anything for this ban reason. The amount of true doucheiness cannot be described.) 09:23, 30 March 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a gay admin ‎ (you like rahb. rahb = penis. therefore you like penis. therefore you = ghey. this logic is irrefutable. also, morning mordillo.) 12:57, 31 March 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Isaacjew (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Wrong, he's not a Jew loser. I'm the Jew - and you lose) 05:05, 1 April 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Dawg (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 6247 seconds ‎ (REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED VIA BANSTICK) Biopic of the Week Ljlego is another one of those 'lost legends' of Uncyclopedia. One of the ones who you don't really believe existed, but you're not so sure, because your Grandpa told you stories about him when you were little. And even after reading some of his works, you still don't believe. Maybe there's something wrong with you. Old-School Featured Article of the Week HowTo:Kill two birds with one stone is a thrilling documentary describing the many ins and outs of avian massacre via large rocks. Many methods, tips, and tricks are mentioned in the cover-all guide. It is also noted that killing three birds with two stones is not any easier than killing two birds with one stone. Old-School Cajek Ban of the Week 00:43, 26 October 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (Posting in the forums. You know better than to get involved in the community. Now get back in your cage.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  18:00, Apr 2

For your vote...

The Great Potato Massacre of March 2009 Thank you for supporting Sonje in her ruthless campaign for Potatochopper of the Month A baby potato shall be mercilessly sacrificed in your honour.

--^Dame 21:57, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

DAMMMN dude your page is active.

And I just got a REALLY good idea for an article. Have you ever heard of sexting? If you have you will know why I started cracking up when I first heard about it so I gotta write something on it. I just wanted to get your opinion on a direction...I got a few. First. A basic article about sexting and supporting it. Second. An Unscript of a common sexting session. Third (Favorite so far). An unnews about a girl getting raped through sexting and the boy going to jail. Any other ideas? Any you would recommend? ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 03:35, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

Hm. You could go a lot of different directions with this. Gimme some time to think about this and I'll get back to you. I'm liking the straight encyclopedic style, just with some satire. Like try to defend it and stuff. Type me up an outline and get it to me sometime soon. —Sir SysRq (talk) 00:32, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

Ya sure. I just have so many ideas running through my mind that I want to stick to one. I think my favorite though would be funniest. How would you defend sexting encyclopedicly? Any examples? ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 06:12, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

"Many believe sexting to be a dangerous activity for teens. Others interpret sexting as an indicator that other, much more real sexual activity is going on. However, sexting actually prevents young people from engaging in sexual activity, providing them with a safe outlet for their built up sexual frustration in the form of a 1.4 megapixel cell phone camera." —Sir SysRq (talk) 17:47, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

Hmm I like that. I think ima write up two and see which one I end up liking more. Thanks slot Sys.~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 19:21, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

I need some help

Check this out, my goodbye-article User:Mahm00shA/Bob the sperm. I want you to proofread the article and re-format it if you want. If you liked it, pee on it and nominate it to VFH. If you cant do that, tell <insert name here> to do it instead. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 10:33, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

Good bye article? You're leaving us? —Sir SysRq (talk) 00:23, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

just til summer.. I failed my midyears at college, and I cant afford to fail the finals too. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 00:34, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

Dude, that's like no joke. Gahh. Get on that, nigguh! And yeah, I'll take a look at your article. But I'm not writing it for you if that's what you're driving at. —Sir SysRq (talk) 00:37, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

yes, I am not joking, and no, I dont want you too write it, it is already done. Just proofread it then pee on it or get someone to do the pee SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 00:41, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

I need to pee on something, I'll probably do it. Or, I'll at least say I will and then not do it. —Sir SysRq (talk) 00:43, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

do it now! /me pulls out my minigun SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 00:50, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

do you have time for doing the pee review a asked you to do? If no, then go fuck yourself :) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 14:05, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

Aye, twill happen today. —Sir SysRq (talk) 17:33, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

which means that you still have an hour and a half to do it .. Or feel my wrath SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 22:33, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

Huhwhah..who's there? Still Saturday here, bitch. So I'm still good. —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:05, 5 April 2009 (UTC)

I need some Penis

In addition, and you are probably going to totally disagree with me but... I think the UN:IC period needs to be longer (maybe 2 weeks, not 1). IC should be producing totally awesome pages every time. Right now, I don't think it is. IC worked well for a short time when the buzz of a new thing was going on, but for this project to work in the long term I think it's only going to happen if we have more time. Obviously if we finish a page early, then we can always skip to something new after 1 week. *bends over* MrN 18:06, Apr 5

Not even talking me eh? It's obviously only a suggestion man. It's your gig. You do whatever you want to with it... Oh, check out this also. Though I'm not sure a month would have been long enough to sort that one out... MrN 19:36, Apr 5

Huh? I could have sworn I responded to this. I probably got distracted by some other mention of penis somewhere in my house. My apologies. Like I said before, I'm not married to the system, I only put it in place because we needed some kind of system. If we want to shorten the planning period, we can find a way to do that. I don't think that would be very possible, though. Also, I think that extending the writing period to Saturday may help in the slightest, even though we already do that anyways. Perhaps doing a fortnight every time would produce better results. Do you think we need another week on Great Britain? I'm off to read that forum post, excuse me. —Sir SysRq (talk) 19:39, 5 April 2009 (UTC)

Yes. I think Great Britain needs another week. If we are going to replace an entire page like that it's got to be one hell of a lot better than what was there before. I'm not sure that arbitrarily extending a week is a good idea either. A fixed time period (which is sometimes shortened) is a lot better than one which is sometimes lengthened. People need to have a goal and not think "oh, it's OK, if I don't bother SysRq will extend it". Give em two weeks. If it's not done after that it's not going to happen, and you need to kick the people who voted to do it in the balls. MrN 19:45, Apr 5

Yes. Later. —Sir SysRq (talk) 19:53, 5 April 2009 (UTC)

I understand this comes out of the blue, but I saw the topic and realised I need penis, too... /me is drunk and wanders off... -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 20:58, 8 Apr

IC yet again

hey sys, i'm gone for the weekend again. don't worry, this isn't going to be a normal thing. i'll take care of the template-work, review and such having to do with the turnover (it looks like it'll be to barack) on monday if you haven't at that point. also, i'll come up with something to send to our lazier colinizers, and collab with tags on making sure the board represents an accurate picture of said colonizers. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:53, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

Namechange?

Hey dude, I was just wondering what you think about me getting a name change. I just think there are plenty of better names out there and tit at the end makes me seem like some kind of tit fanatic perv. When I originally made the name, I liked the flow of Tag-stit if said like that or even Tagst-it, but ya, I think you may seem my problem. What do you think? ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 07:46, 9 April 2009 (UTC) ]]

Where tits are involved, I just have to make a comment. tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit Socktit of a nonnude usertit 07:57, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

On a more serious note... Tagstit, everybody knows you by that name. It's not a bad name. A namechange just seems like a bad idea. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 08:05, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

I like your name. It's a good Uncyc name. It's short, sweet, somewhat meaningless. We've all come to love Tagstit and if Tagstit were to leave us I don't know what I would do. Stay as Tags, please? —Sir SysRq (talk) 15:57, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

People that change their names are gay. -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:59, 9 Apr

Yeah, I miss that userpage. That Google theme was so clever. —Sir SysRq (talk) 16:13, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

Oh okay haha I will keep the name then, just wanted an opinion. Thanks guys! ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 16:27, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost April 9/10th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Reading This Is The Mysterious Second Step To Getting Profit From Stealing Childrens' Underwear!

April 9th, 2009 • Issue 42• We Give the In-jokes Recycling Center 90% of Their Business!

Cabalists Decide Cabal Membership At Adequate Amount, Deny Existence of Cabal By Gerrycheevers Uncyclopedia administrators this week decried the lack of need for new recruits, as they are wholly confident in their ability to secretly control the wiki from behind a moth-eaten curtain. On the voting page, which this reporter will probably be banned for pointing out to the common folk, the current cabal members expressed their desire to see more normal non-admins, or 'normies', be involved with the recent changes page. However, the option for another member being inducted into the cabal was declined, as things like the ban patrol and the Cajek Alert System seem to be running just fine, thank you very much. Cabalists were adamant about their opinions. RAHB had the following to say: "I cannot confirm the non-existence of the non-existent cabal, being that it does not exist, and I'm no Harry Potter-reading fantasy boy. I can however confirm the existence of puppies. THEY'RE ADORABLE!" The non-existence of the cabal was further emphasized by Mordillo who declined comment when approached as he was leaving the Secret Cabal Headquarters & Tiki Lounge. Experts were skeptical of the existence of the cabal, but point out that nothing should be ruled out. "Woof," said UnSignpost political correspondent DogNewspaper (pictured), citing the low level of vandalism and general dickery since the recent opping of Under user and MrN9000, who have become known to Uncyclopedians as "The Redcoats". Co-Creator of UnSignpost Introduces New Creation By Gerrycheevers Dr. Skullthumper, co-founder of the very newspaper you are reading right now, has unrolled his newest creation, the NetBar. UnSignpost editors were too busy and ridden with jealousy to investigate the nature of this new invention, but our technology correspondant DogNewspaper (pictured) was willing to speculate on the new gadget. "Bark bark," he proclaimed, elaborating that this new thing is most likely some sort of candy bar or online tavern. This is not the first time the good doctor has abandoned the UnSignpost to work on other equally trivial projects. Fnoodle, disguised as a harmless spellcheck wiki-bot, is actually a perfect one-eight replica of Skull. This entity has nearly 20,000 edits, mostly vandalisms of pages in Thekillerfroggy's userspace. However, Fnoodle has sat abandoned in the doctor's sandbox since last October, since all of said doctor's time recently has been poured into his new project, the NetBar. Uncyclopedians had mixed reactions today. Sockpuppet of an unregistered user had this to say: "What the fuck is a NetBar?" A gathering in the Uncyclopedia break room formed, with users misguidedly attempting to ward off squirrels with the NetBar. When reached for comment, Dr. Skullthumper said, "What's an UnSignpost?"

Check out these pages! Click for great deals on Uncyclopedia merchandise! Filthy Sluts Our lovable mascot returns From our logs: 13:33, 4 April 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.10.224.60 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(we apologise for taking so long to ban you for this, but don't blank pages. thanks for waiting!) 19:28, 4 April 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 81.155.30.76 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎(Go play in the sandbox, little boy. Uncyclopedia is for grownups.) 22:34, 6 April 2009 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 minute, 32 seconds ‎(There's this guy sitting next to me and he's all "man, I'm pissed off at that MrN9000 guy" and I'm like "okay") Biopic of the Week Continuing in our series on Uncyclopedia legends, Cap'n Ben is one of those legends who is actually active. Since his first edit in March of 2005, the Cap'n has been makin' it happen in various ways: via awesome writings, breaking news stories, or intructional guides. He is even up for Writer of the Month for a second time since his first WotM came back in a time when Uncyclopedia kind of sucked. But it doesn't anymore...thanks to Cap'n Ben. Cajek Ban of the Week 20:16, 2 April 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 78942 seconds ‎ (Unsignpost is resorting to "Old School Cajek Ban" now. It's time to bring the real deal back.) Old School Featured Article of the Week Alternative Medicine is what the cool kids used to use in high school instead of going to the nurse like the other squares. Now that those kids are all grown up, they have continued this tradition of using such non-mainstream remedies such as Extreme Colonic Irrigation, Ass Candling, Homopathy, and Inacupuncture (pictured). Space-Filler of the Week If Einstein was so smart, how come he's dead?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Hand-delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:20, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

It's My Birthday! (and I'll Cry if I Want to.)

Ok? Also how are you? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 11:24 10 April 2009

Heyy bud! Is it really your birthday? What are you, 19? —Sir SysRq (talk) 02:34, 11 April 2009 (UTC)

Yup, yup, well it was, and yup! :) ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 15:56 11 April 2009

It was my birthday on April 2nd and everybody but RT forgot. :'( Colin ALL YOUR BASEHeaney! Casa Bey Superfly Portfolio 21:08, 11 April 2009 (UTC)

Whosis? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 09:34 12 April 2009

VFH

Go vote for my entry, now! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 22:49, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

lol k —Sir SysRq (talk) 02:35, 11 April 2009 (UTC)

thanks SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 08:06, 11 April 2009 (UTC)

Yo SysRq

Hey just did the list for this colonization. If you wanna check it go ahead but I came here to tell you that it is looking messy and I think I should cut everyone out who has zeros, and haven't helped since Al Gore. We can move them to a list below, like an inactive list. Just to keep things neat and current. Just askin your approval. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 05:27, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

I'll fix up a warning template to be distributed to everyone that has missed two Colonizations in a row. After the third week, they are out. Next week we start cutting people. Lemme get on that template right now. —Sir SysRq (talk) 16:04, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

UPDATE: This goes on all talk pages of lazy ICers. Be sure to subst it. Thanks Tags! —Sir SysRq (talk) 16:11, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

By the way, Crabpope decided to add himself to the list and give himself a point. Should I talk to him or what should happen? ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 04:12, 13 April 2009 (UTC)

maybe we should add a big 'DON'T EDIT THIS IF YOU ARE NOT TAGSTIT' in bold colors. oh, wait... SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:53, 13 April 2009 (UTC)

I spoke with him already. And that's a good idea, Ger. —Sir SysRq (talk) 16:59, 13 April 2009 (UTC)

hey sys, i can distribute that template to our less active users if you want. just say the word. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:14, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

Werd, son. Punch it. —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:02, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

Suck on my choclate salty balls

...Or othewise, don't forget to remind me about the new colonization every week. Main page still said "Great Britain". ~ 10:05, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

My bad, dawg. My bad. —Sir SysRq (talk) 13:58, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

I always wanted someone to call me dawg. I'm feeling very happy now O_O ~ 14:34, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

hey, chocolate isnt salty, right? Mahm00shA 21:49, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

It gets salty when you smear it on SysRq's balls. When you smear it on Mordillo's balls it turns kosher. Or so I'm told anyway. -OptyC Sucks! CUN21:53, 15 Apr

you cant have kosher chocolate, cause it usually has milk and meat in it. Amirite, Mordy? :p Mahm00shA 21:59, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

Meat in chocolate? WTF? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:02, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

Yeah. My meat. —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:03, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

That's the Jew magic of 'Dillo's balls. -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:04, 15 Apr

UN:IC needs your meat. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:08, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

somebody's mother needs my meat, too Mahm00shA 22:10, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

My mom is such a whore. -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:11, 15 Apr

Honor Thy Mother, as Dream Theater said Mahm00shA 22:20, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

My mom fucked Dream Theater. -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:22, 15 Apr

I had sex with all of your friends. —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:26, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

exotic! So you are gay? Mahm00shA 22:31, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

Yes. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:04, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

Thank god. I was starting to get worried. -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:15, 16 Apr

I am lesbian Mahm00shA 23:37, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

Me too! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:16, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

Hellow old friend.

Did I tell you I was back? Anyway, I came back with an inferior version of this Why?:Don't You Get a Job? and then UU helped me out with a fabulous pee. I'm now working on this. It will have words soon. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 20:36 15 April 2009

Aye, you are arisen! Glad to see you, buddy. Sandcastle sounds like a fantastic idea. I can't wait to see what direction you go with it. I'm thinking maybe a narrative of some poor kid at the beach, trying to build a sandcastle as people keep knocking it down. I just love your narratives and I hope to read some more of them now. I'm off to look at Why?:Don't You Get a Job! now. Cheers! —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:29, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

I was gonna call it Why?:Don't you build a sandcastle? but I thought I'd take my career in a different direction. Talking of which, you're not even close. but yeah. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 00:43 16 April 2009

Also do you thing the job one is another feature? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 16:36 16 April 2009

Absolutely. Just don't put THE END at the end. Put it at the beginning instead. —Sir SysRq (talk) 21:34, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

Well then... Please? I'd do it myself but I hate looking vain. Also Sandcastle, I've writen the first section of it, do you think it's going in a good direction? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 23:42 16 April 2009

Hello? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 00:12 18 April 2009

colonizer monitoring

so check out this page. i kept track of who and when i sent reminders to, and based on that we can tune the list up after each week. do you think you'll be around to help out with obama this week? it's thursday and we don't have much content (though i haven't gotten to the article itself yet), so it looks like this is another two week one. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:25, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

speaking of colonization, there is a new membership request. It has been there for quite some time. check it out Mahm00shA 15:35, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

i left a message on raliter's talkpage, and he is helping out this week. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:40, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

fine Mahm00shA 15:43, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

Whoa hey. —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:24, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

Colon icer monitoring

I'm here to make sure your colon icer is functioning properly. Bend over and grab your ankles. You might feel a slight pressure. -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:29, 17 Apr

Whoa hey. —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:30, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

You might wanna weigh in on Nach's comments about IC. Seeing as how you're our leader and all. You know, if you can be bothered with IC that is. :P -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:41, 17 Apr

UnSignpost April 16th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

We're delivering it to your door anyways!

April 16th, 2009 • Issue 43 • It's News Because We Tell You It Is

Latest Poo Lit Leads to Quality Flood on VFH By DrStrange The 7th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise has come to a close! This installment of Uncyclopedia's bi-annual competition featured an interesting amount of tie scores given directly by individual judges as well as being present in the overall scores. Recent competitions have featured much more decisive scoring but this time around the points were more evenly distributed amongst the entries. As the winning and co-winning entries hit VFH, we're seeing levels of voting that haven't been seen in a while. The first article nominated to VFH from the competition also came with a bold prediction by one numbskull, who questioned his existence if Karl Lagerfeld did not receive 20  For. votes. At 03:57, 11 April 2009 the 20th For vote was cast by Thekillerfroggy and it's safe to say that the author of this instant Uncyclopedia classic should be considered the overall champion with his three entries garnering him two first place articles and one second place finish. Unscrupulous Unsignpost reporters stalked found Modusoperandi while he was receiving longevity treatments in a Côte d'Azur country club and asked him the following softball question: "Who was your favorite character in the 70's hit sitcom Barney Miller?" to which he answered "While each member of the cast had appeal, as each represented part of America's "Melting Pot", I found the comparatively minor character of Inspector Frank Luger (far right), with his high state of partly-sober curmudgeonitude, to be especially charming." One of our winners was not only a perfect 1/1 by winning the best rewrite category with Money but Sycamore also received the vaunted Writer of the Month trophy for March 2009! Another plink user that fared well with plink his outright victory in the best plink mainspace article category was GlobalTourniquet, plink who wrote an article titled with a plink name that is difficult plink to recollect at the moment plonk. He also had two other entries that received 1st runner-up status, so it was a good showing for the artist formerly known as Thomas Pynchon's left Nut. A user that happens to wander in and write us an offering on occasion claimed a share of first place in the alternative namespace category with the UnNews article Obama unveils education reform plans. Monika should drop in more often! Worst 100 of the Year Stumbles to 10 Things by UU The ever-popular Uncyclopedia Worst 100 Reflections series proves it is as popular as ever! As this great year of Our Lord 2009 passes the midpoint of April, the latest iteration has just limped past 10 items, although one or two of them carry a subtle whiff of vanity. According to our resident math boffins here at Signpost Towers, we are exactly "a bit over a quarter of the way through the year, but not yet a third of the way", and so therefore should have precisely "a few more Worst Reflections than this so far". There are several schools of thought as to why this situation has been allowed to arise. One gaining currency among quite literally possibly some Uncyclopedians is that everyone on the site is so busy producing quality material that they just don't have time to devote to such frivolities. However, the continued existence and rate of progress of Forum:Count to a million neatly quashes that theory. Another hypothesis advanced by as many as no or fewer people is that precisely nothing of any interest to anyone has happened, either on this wiki or on the interwebs in general this year. However, while this is significantly more likely than the first theory, the generally accepted explanation seems to be that, quite simply and predictably, Uncyclopedia is the worst.

Check out these pages! Et tu, brute? Define "active" Jokes are serious business From our logs: 03:28, 16 April 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Obama (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Stick to fixing the US's economy--Uncyclopedia editing is not your thing.) 20:34, 14 April 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 85.164.152.104 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (blanking spree? go find something more interesting to do, like sticking your head in an anthill) 20:02, 11 April 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 93.131.36.107 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (I'm gradually blanking you. Jerk.) 06:25, 10 April 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked SquintyK (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (14 year olds shouldn't be having sex / whatever the hell it is you're doing.) Biopic of the Week Dexter111344 has the distinction of being the most well-known Uncyclopedian with the most numbers in his name (besides 5P4N6). As a newly coronated poopsmith, he helps take out the garbage on a regular basis. This is just one of many thankless tasks he carries out; he also occasionally volunteers as a paperboy and botanist, and is known for keeping douches in their place. If you see something awesome, and are wondering if Dexter did it, the answer is: "probably". And if he didn't...you know who did... Old School Featured Article of the Week Waiting for Godot is a questioning of the fundamental core of our existence, the foundation on which our moral and social codes are built; the uncertainty of Godot's identity, coupled with the stark, unembellished style of the whole play, poses some powerful questions about our own identities. What the hell are you talking about? I dunno, but it sounds intelligent. Cajek-related Question Posed via Ban of the Week 11:15, 23 October 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a pronounciation ‎ (How *do* you pronounce your username?) And the answer, for those who care. Bad Dog of the Week DogNewspaper, lovable mascot of the UnSignpost, appearing on the right, will not be appearing in this week's issue. This decision was based on various infractions by DogNewspaper, most notably the Easter presents that were left in an editor's shoe. Look for DogNewspaper to return next week with his monthly piece on mailman defense.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Hand-delivered by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:55, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

Dude!

Hello. I seem to recall you saying that you'd do something to er for no, to? - what - FOR! me? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 01:29 19 April 2009

Well I mean now I'm here. =] Get Olipro to call me on Skype and add me to a conference like in 30 minutes or so. —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:46, 19 April 2009 (UTC)

I'm actually just going to bed now actually. But probably see you later. And thanks buddy! Glad you apreciate my work without me having to prompt you. :) ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 01:59 19 April 2009

Shut up, faggot. —Sir SysRq (talk) 02:04, 19 April 2009 (UTC)

Pussy goblin! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 02:05 19 April 2009