User talk:Puppy/Archive 3

Mastubration

Is a venial sin, I think, but only if you do it to yourself. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 23:10, October 7, 2009 (UTC)

I thought it was a manual sin. Pup t 23:23, 7/10/2009

Although I've now been considering it... and you're relating to the shortness of the page aren't you? After all Mastubration comes from Ma + stub + ratio. I obviously have created the mother of all stubs by this ratio! Pup t 23:31, 7/10/2009

I was going to raep you as tradition dictates, but chickened out and gave you a hand job instead. Also, that stub thing. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 02:04, October 8, 2009 (UTC)

You gave me a stub job? Pup t 02:06, 8/10/2009

Okay, you admitted it's a stub, not me. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 02:18, October 8, 2009 (UTC)

lolfags.    Orian57    Talk   02:45 8 October 2009

Size isn't important Pup t 09:19, 8/10/2009

But I am Hung like a fucking BULL!    Orian57    Talk   10:46 8 October 2009

Mastubration is a "Manual sin"? Why blame a Mexican dude??? Thank him!!--Funnybony 22:12, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

Baby Boomers is back in black

Dude! I got a very useful Pee on Baby Boomers, worked my ass off, and did everything advised, plus more. If it didn't get featured last time then it should fly now. Could you take a look, and if it looks much better, or feature worthy, could you renom Baby Boomers again? That would be progress. thanks, really!--Funnybony 22:08, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

Goodbye Facebook screen

How's the audio coming? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 06:21, Oct 10

Ummm... exceedingly slowly, given I have sound issues with my PC. I'll have to download karaoke version of the backing I think.Pup t 23:32, 10/10/2009

Where the heck did my Goodbye Facebook screen Nomination go?--Funnybony 17:42, October 10, 2009 (UTC)

It was removed at my request as it need audio before it could fly and also needed a substantial amount of work done to to appearance. As soon as I have decent audio I'll kick it in again.Pup t 23:32, 10/10/2009

How are you going to make the Audio? Record the song? How about that?--Funnybony 14:14, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

It's on my list of "things I don't really have the capacity to do but I will attempt it anyway" Pup t 00:32, 12/10/2009

Unmessifying

It's cold but my cock is still huge!    Orian57    Talk   14:45 10 October 2009

It's good to hear. Maybe you should put it somewhere warm. National coming out day is tomorrow where we are supposed to have homosexual, lesbian, bisexual and transgender equality. Which sucks, because I really don't want to lower myself to a hetero level.Pup t 23:32, 10/10/2009

What I don't get is why we're constantly balled in with the dykes and trannies. I mean dykes are just ugly women that don't like men because their dad was a jerk and the transexuality isn't a sexuality it's because you're brain doesn't match that gash between your legs. It's crazy! Also woot! I'm here/ I'm queer/ and I'm gonna rape your ass! like, with no lube. And not your's specifically, you'd enjoy it.    Orian57    Talk   23:39 10 October 2009

Apparently transgender is something that you come out for. I would have thought the fact that you had changed for ne gender to the other would have been obvious to your nearest and dearest... And this thread is getting really messy. Pup t 00:24, 11/10/2009

So's your face!    Orian57    Talk   00:31 11 October 2009

♩♪Cream dealer, I believe you can get me through the night!♬♫ For those too young to know trashy music of years gone by, the original was dream weaver. Pup t 01:00, 11/10/2009

Yeah wow so are you gonna come out of your closet tomorrow and just stop kidding yoruself, with the wife and gay children -- Gay Children! That should tell you something about your cut off genes. Not that it's generic obviously.    Orian57    Talk   01:40 11 October 2009

Ummm... I'm as about as out can be without having a tattoo across my forehead that says "I'm anyones!" Pup t 01:46, 11/10/2009

You haven't even got the tattoo yet? They're mandatory aren't they? You've been living a lie.    Orian57    Talk   01:59 11 October 2009

I have the tattoo, just not across my head! Pup t 02:01, 11/10/2009

Love the new sig darling! Not at all similar to what I did before you! Faggot1 Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 21:18 11 October 2009

Grated minds think alike. Pup t 00:14, 12/10/2009

Faggot minds think alike you mean. Faggot! Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 01:49 12 October 2009

UN:HS

Did you know about this? It's a place where you can track your features and compare yourself to others in order to compel yourself to do better (or just end it all because you'll never amount to anything). I added your current features. Also: YOU'RE GAY?!?! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 07:30, Oct 11

I had seen it before at some stage along the line. And as for the second... why are you asking, and what's in it for me? Pup t 08:25, 11/10/2009

But... but... hot psych majors? I assumed you were talking about hot female psych majors! I was, anyway. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 22:41, Oct 11

Hey, better be careful you might catch gay. Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 23:01 11 October 2009

Actually Orian, being that you're the only guy here I know who is openly gay, and I'm the only guy here I know who is openly a promiscuous slut, it could be you and I catching straight. Quickly, what's your opinion on Boobs?Pup t 00:14, 12/10/2009

Ugh, don't be so stupid. Everyone knows being straight is genetic. Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 00:18 12 October 2009

That's right. Being straight is genetic, being gay is genetic, but being bi is just queer! Pup t 00:32, 12/10/2009

No being queer is queer, being bi is a mental disorder. You should be locked up before you give everyone crabs. Fucking sluts. Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 01:48 12 October 2009

There are a lot of very similar looking sigs on my talk page all of a sudden... Pup t 01:58, 12/10/2009

Actually, Methamphetamine! is openly bisexual, but he doesn't come on here that often. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 03:50, Oct 12

Methy is? There you go, we obviously do need that register of everyone's sexual preference that we were discussing earlier. Pup t 04:35, 12/10/2009

Yeah, there was a guy called Fag on here once. I only really spoke to him a few times before he left though. to ?pedia of the confounded places. Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 06:47 12 October 2009

If anyone cares, the following users are known to like pregnancy erotica: OptyC (maybe), Socky, User:CheddarBBQ, POTR, and myself. --Mn-z 14:27, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for Vandalising?

Thanks for vandalising my user page--no wait, should I be thanking you for that? (Seriously, thanks). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:01, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

It's cool. Personally I don't really like templates, but at least they are neater.

On an unrelated note, I came across the Poo Lit competition today for the first time, and for the life of me I cannot think of anything to write. If only I hadn't gotten PEE on myface. Pup t 01:51, 12/10/2009

I'm in the same boat. Can't think of anything to write about. Missed teh last one because of this horrible mind void too. Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 01:52 12 October 2009

PLS

Your article is supposed to remain in user space until after judging. You can fix this any way you want, but I'd suggest moving it back and adding the redirect (just the redirect) to QVFD with a note that the article's for PLS. I don't mean to be nosy or anything but I just happened to notice this and I don't want to see you (not you personally, you generally) disqualified. --monika 03:50, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

That sounds like it takes energy... ah well, if it gets disqualified on a technical note then it gets disqualified. I hate leaving stuff in my user space. Pup t 04:12, 12/10/2009

Yeah, but this one, like, has a chance, and those are, like, the rules. --monika 04:42, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

And... well, if there was money riding on the outcome, then I'd stress, but in this situation I don't see why I would. I write what I write because I enjoy the writing. Outside of the Uncyclopedia community I doubt anyone will be too concerned, and within the community... people will see me as they always have whether I win or not. I've entered simply because it's a competition that I have written one article that fits into the criterion, and it encourages other's to write better as well. I'm all for improving the overall standard of writing and to keep this growing. Pup t 04:46, 12/10/2009

It's up to you, but I'm a little sadder than I was a second ago. Which is strange because I just took all my antipsychotics for the night so I should be happier than I was a second ago. (On a slightly different node now that I'm in weird confessional mode after having drugged up, it may seem like I am a prizewhore for only really writing articles during PLS - the real reason is I know I generally take a median five months to write an article unless there's a deadline.) Anyway, yeah, okay. Okay. Of course, the best solution would be to change the rules so at the very least we don't have to wait so long for results and stuff. --monika 04:54, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Some Clarfication?

When you said what you said near the end of that discussion on Mordillo's talk page, was that directed at me? Sorry if it seems like I'm not doing much with the article if it was, I'm just out of ideas of what to do. Also, I thought what I said counted pretty okay. D: -- Hanyouman 04:25, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

I was directing it at no-one in particular. Just thinking that it was all a storm in a teacup. Pup t 04:33, 12/10/2009

Ah-ha, I see. I apologize for the misunderstanding then. Sorry to have bothered you or anything, I was just confused as to what was going on there. -- Hanyouman 04:35, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

More clarificationz

That thing you said on Modus's talk page, are you coming out of the closet again? --Mn-z 04:48, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Am I in a closet? Pup t 04:58, 12/10/2009

maybe. --Mn-z 05:00, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Oh... what did I say on Modus' page? Pup t 05:02, 12/10/2009

"Not everyone dislikes it." In reference to that one category --Mn-z 05:04, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Oh that! I didn't even realise that there was a closet to come out of there. I like men and women as long as they're attractive. I don't really like midgets though. Pup t 05:09, 12/10/2009

That issue is very Serious Business. --Mn-z 05:21, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Hehehe... sonic is preggers. Pup t 05:39, 12/10/2009

Puppy, you don't like toy breeds? Or you just don't like teacup bitches? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:43, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Oh fuck you're not a preggo fucker are you? Bisexuality I can understand but that? Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 06:11 12 October 2009

It seems like your kind is being outnumbered. --Mn-z 14:21, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

I think I'd better clarify. I like erotica, and I like sex. I'm very choosy, but not about gender or if somebody is pregnant. I will turn and look at a yummy mummy as quickly as I would the coke delivery guy. (Who unfortunately in my office is my ugly female team leader - bleargh!) In short, I'm a slut with standards! (Put it on my tombstone. But I'm not into passive necrophilia!) Pup t 23:21, 12/10/2009

steal Bank Pee Review

I Pee Reviewed UnScripts:steal Bank Customer Service training video based on version 4146042 Revision as of 02:13, October 8, 2009. I hope my review helps! (I'll probably try your template next time I do one of these). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:22, October 13, 2009 (UTC)

Please change your signature

I've been having a weird problem with this site for the last couple days. When I try to click on a link in a discussion page, the link keeps jumping away from my cursor, then I when I move the cursor, it jumps back. Sometimes I have to really work to click on a user link. Sometimes I can't get it to work at all, and have to type in their user name. I didn't know if it was a problem with the website, my computer, my connection, etc. But I just realized what it is--it's your signature. When I move my cursor over the area of a discussion, the longer version of your sig pops out (I guess this is some sort of a mouse over thing). Then when I try to move it again, the sig suddenly goes back to the short version. It's been irritating me, but I didn't know what it was until now. I don't imagine you intended this to be a problem (and I think someone else has a similar signature.) But could you fix it please? Thanks. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:22, October 13, 2009 (UTC)

Okay... of course this means that I just have to work on a more clever and offensive sig going forward. Pup t 05:39, 13/10/2009

You could wrap the thing in a div that's got a set width as large as it ever gets. This way, nothing outside the div changes, and since sigs go at ends of lines, nothing would look all that different. --monika 05:47, October 13, 2009 (UTC)

Whatever one or both of you come up with to fix it would be very helpful to me, and likely to others who've been having the same problem. I caused a problem with an early version of my sig that someone said was code spewing, but I got help to fix it. Again, thanks! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:05, October 13, 2009 (UTC)

Wrapping it in a div is a really good idea, but the other thing I would like to know is what does it actually appear like on your monitor, Why? My concern is that there is a lot there that is class="sigexpand" and if it's all expanding at once that would be fairly ugly. Pup t 06:14, 13/10/2009

Well, you've fixed it, so I'm going on memory. The main thing I remember is when it expanded, the line would jump (that happens with others too, where the expanded version continues to another line). But with yours as soon as I moved the cursor a little, it would contract again. I think maybe it did expand all at once, but I don't remember for sure. What were we talking about again? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  00:22, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

It's okay. I tried wrapping it in a div and that didn't work as it meant that the sig had a line break before and after, which effectively meant that it took up two lines. I am still working on it. Just not at the moment. Pup t 00:30, 14/10/2009

UnNews:Australia says "You just don't understand our humour!"

By way of warning, don't mess with me; I'm an admin and UnNews Editor. It's not all bad, though... I loved the article.

When you had MO move the article, it caused a broken link to the Main UnNews page. You see, this article was featured as the lead article, and when it was moved, it appeared as if the article no longer existed ie. a broken link on the main page. I've moved it back to its proper place, and locked it.

I know why you moved it, but you must consider that the article does not belong to you in any way, and the creation and attachment of my audio was a separate file you've indirectly fucked with. Let me know if you'd like to do an audio for this article, and I'll listen to it and we'll go from there.

Realise the fact that "No, I don't normally sound like this. I have a cold, and an edumacation. I speak English goodly." is not a good reason for your actions.

Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:11, October 13, 2009 (UTC) Here's my welcoming drivel

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Puppy, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

---

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

---

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

---

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

---

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

your sig

is nice and all, but doesn't have a timestamp. you may want to double check that unless you've recently fixed that issue. -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 18:13, Oct 13

My sig was leaking code, which somehow buggered up the sigexpand on the timestamp. It was there but not expanding. fixed now. Thanks for pointing it out. Pup t 22:48, 13/10/2009

UnNews and on why reverend zim_ulator is a dick

Please ignore the dickish parts of my message about the move of your hilarious Ozzie article. Assumptions made on my part were proven unsupportable. I can add your audio as an alternative selection on the articles and main UnNews pages; I've done that before when there was more than one acceptable version, seems only fair. I must say, I hope you'll continue to contribute to UnNews with stuff in the same vein, or perhaps an artery Praise be unto you! Cheers Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 18:23, October 13, 2009 (UTC)

It's all cool. I haven't looked at it yet today (Different time zone and I just woke) but I had left yours hidden and had my version of the audio up there. I definitely want both versions of the audio up there. To everyone outside of Australia there is a need to hear it in an Ocker accent. Anyone in Australia has to hear it in an un-Ocker accent. And with the editorial. Pup t 22:44, 13/10/2009

Cool! I think I like being an Ocker. I agree we Merikans are just a bit uncultured. Hm... maybe I'll use the pseudonym "Dick Ocker" on UnRadio. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:47, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Is this a problem

Syndrome and I were working on Archery (actually, Syndrome was working on it; I had given up) when it unexpectedly got nommed for VFH. We made a few small fixes to it after it was nommed, and hope that didn't cause a problem. What do you think? I thought I'd ask a non-admin first, although of course one of those admin types is liable to come sneaking by. They often do. Oh, and, er, by the way, did I mention Sun Bee is also nominated for VFH? Not that I'm vote whoring or anything. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:45, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

It's one of the vagaries of being part of this community is that there are a shite load of policies, and only about three of them written down. The main issue is that you don't change the overall content or makes significant changes. What you've done is minor, minor stuff - a couple of links added, a few words changed in order, general proof-reading. I'm not an admin, but you'd have to get an admin with an axe to grind to have any fall out from this. And I used to have something saying this was a welcome whore zone... I haven't voted for either sun bee or archery as I've been focused on getting my next article up and running, and it's a bit of a technical nightmare. However feel free to vote for Lateral Thinking or for WOTM at any stage. Pup t 05:56, 14/10/2009

Hmm, did you just give me a subtle hint? (Actually, on WOTM I'm waiting to vote as it would be nice if there was another nominee, although I certainly think you deserve it). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:01, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Well, I am of the opinion that I am the best nominee this month Pup t 06:09, 14/10/2009

On Lateral Thinking I see several misspellings and grammatical errors that I suspect aren't intentional. But I don't want to make several edits to someone's else's VFH without permission, even if minor, especially as some of the errors in there are apparently intentional. Would you mind if I copied this to User:Why do I need to provide this?/Lateral Thinking or to User:PuppyOnTheRadio/Lateral Thinking and made the edits there? Then you could see if you wanted it that way on mainspace. Let me know! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:11, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Up to you, but I'd suggest just make the amendments on the mainspace and I'll come back and veto them once you're done. (I should really start proofreading my own work before I put it up for VFH.) It's less hassle that way. (Oh, and keep in mind I do use Australian English, which is not quite UK English but closer than US English.) Pup t 06:17, 14/10/2009

As Australia is called (in America) "the land down under," does that mean you write everything upside down? Seriously, I'd prefer to do it in user space--I've made a very obvious and very minor fix or two to a VFH, but if I make several fixes and you revert them, it will likely make me look like a bad guy. I'll check it within the next 24 hours (probably sooner). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:27, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Your first sentence has an unneeded comma, but when I fixed it I realized I'm not sure what you want your first sentence to say. Lateral thinking is a method of creating problems? But that doesn't fit the "by not being able to see" part. I'll work on the rest of it in the meantime (after I stop messing around with the girl I just met in some bar). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  22:47, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

I've gone through it. After I hear what you want with the first sentence, I'll "finalize" it (on User:Why do I need to provide this?/Lateral Thinking anyway). Also I hope this doesn't come across wrong (like I'm on some kind of power trip) because I really like your writing. But with the fixes, I will vote for it for VFH because I think it deserves it. But I wouldn't feel comfortable voting for it to be on the front page with all those errors. Just call me Mr. Nitpicky and I won't deny it. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  00:19, October 15, 2009 (UTC)

I saw your summary on the page. I hope you're doing OK. I'll do one more quick run through, then post a note here when I'm done. If you like it, feel free to copy it to mainspace, or I can do it if you want me to (note that I did a nowiki on the VFH and categories, so that will have to be taken off). And by the way, I had signed up for the proofreading service, and realized I could get credit for doing this which is why I added the tag. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:44, October 15, 2009 (UTC)

All right, I are done did fixxing speeling and what is to fixed the grammar. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:20, October 15, 2009 (UTC)

I is happy with it - and it displays the blindness that I have to my own work that I missed so many of those issues. I'm eating now, as well, so thanks for the kind thoughts. Feel free to put back into mainspace. Pup t 02:24, 15/10/2009

Eat away, Uncle Puppy! I'm moving it to mainspace now and then voting for it. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:29, October 15, 2009 (UTC)

First meet with Your

Hello i'm DarkABC is your first meet to Me.if you answer to me talk to my talk Page. User:DarkABC 9:59, October 16, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost Sometime October 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Sucking Journalism's Fat Wang. Badly.

October 8th, 2009 • Issue 67• Good things come to those who wait. So does the UnSignpost.

The End is Nigh... Once Again By The Sockinator Yes, it's that time of the year again. Despite the hopes of many, Poo Lit Surprise did not instantly revive Uncyclopedia. We are doomed! DOOMED! But how did the great Uncyclopedia become such a wasteland, one may ask. It's all a big conspiracy, I tell you! All perpetrated by a mysterious figure, known only by the initials R.L. Perseveringly, this entity has claimed the lives of various Uncyclopedians, among them such users as SysRq, Cajek, YesTimeToEdit, Siddhartha-Wolf and most recently it seems R.L. has even gotten its grips on our own UnSignpost editor Gerrycheevers. When confronted with the issue, noted favourite Jew and Zionist ruler Mordillo barely managed to exclusively tell us the following "I tell you Socky, I'd be happy to comment about our IMPENDING DOOM but I'm too busy packing. Another time maybe? HEY! MOTHERFUCKER! EASY WITH THE VASE! THAT'S FRAGILE! Sorry Sock, gotta scram, the movers are breaking my stuff. NO! DROP THAT BAN HAMMER! DROP IT I SAID!" Expert in things that suck (no pun intended), Optimuschris, was quoted saying "Uncyclopedia hasn't been cool since 08. Ban 09's." In conclusion, UN:N. UFFL Update By Guildensternenstein The previous two weeks of the UFFL action have been filled with more intrigue than a mediocre James Bond movie. Two touchdownless games by Saints’ quarterback Drew Brees cost Sternensteinenstine a win Week 3, though the team rebounded Week 4 and currently holds a solid second-place standing in the hyper-competitive UFFL. A resurgent Tom Brady and a balanced roster has led Domestic Team Name to two wins over the same period, as well as an unblemished 4-0 record. The Dudes’ neglect to change their starting roster cost them a win in Week 4, knocking the former top dogs down to a less-than-remarkable 4th place. The John Curry All-Stars have been hampered by the loss of Frank Gore, and lost last week to a rejuvenated Dibiase’s Millions that were led by a solid Aaron Rodgers-Matt Forte NFC North attack. A soft schedule has helped Oklahoma City Storm to a respectable 2-2 record, while the winless Doritians continue to struggle. Finally, The Winnerz put up mounds of points as Peyton Manning passed his way to his fourth consecutive 300-yard game…or at least would have if The Winnerz could figure out how to log in to Yahoo! and edit their roster. In a look ahead to next week’s games, Sternensteinenstine and the John Curry All-Stars will have to overcome bye weeks for both their starting quarterbacks to maintain their positions near the top of the league as they face off; Oklahoma City Storm looks to earn an easy win against a bye-week-ravaged Dibiase’s Millions; The Dudes seek redemption as they attempt to reclaim their No. 1 position against the undefeated Domestic Team Name; and the league’s bottom-dwelling, shit-eating, dog-fucking last-placers The Winnerz and Cheddar’s Doritians both search for their first wins of the season. Standings: Domestic Team Name (4-0) Sternensteinenstine (3-1) John Curry All-Stars (3-1) The Dudes (3-1) Oklahoma City Storm (2-2) Dibiase’s Millions (1-3) Cheddar’s Doritians (0-4) The Winnerz (0-4)

Whatever you do, don't check out these pages! Polls, sexiness, and advertisements Terrifying stories of the one-armed man! Pointless numbers From our logs: 08:02, October 5, 2009 Under user blocked RAHB with an expiry time of 123 seconds ‎ (surprising me by returning like that: my doctor says surprises are bad for other people's hearts - because every time I get surprised, I eat someone's heart.) 10:48, October 13, 2009 RAHB blocked Dwarfman1122 with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Thought you wouldn't be caught, eh? Maybe now you'll think twice the next time you vandalize and then wait three weeks to be banned.) 04:46, October 11, 2009 Modusoperandi blocked 75.47.155.133 with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (I'd give you a longer ban, but you were only picking on Roman Dog Bird) Biopic of the Week The sentient computer HAL 9000, while having only very few contributions on Uncyclopedia—and of a rather questionable nature at that, if I may add—has recently risen to Uncyc fame in what can only be described as one big conspiracy. In response to a question asked by one of our reporters, HAL answered "Let me put it this way, Mr. Sockinator. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error." In 2001: A Space Odyssey, HAL proved to be a computer very much capable of homicidal acts. Until recently, Uncyclopedia had been successful in evading HAL's detection. Yesterday night however, HAL hacked our beloved Main Page and transformed the wiki into HALopedia. HAL was confronted with many bewildered users to whom he proclaimed "I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over." Our experts are still trying to find out how the feck HAL was able to find this place. Though MrN9000 probably had nothing to do with it. For more information, tune in next week. Same un-time, same un-signpost! Random Cajek sighting of the Week Yea, verily, he did come unto us and delivereth a new article. Then he updatedeth his userpage, and fuckethed offeth again. These are enlightened times, my friends! Random Thought of The Week Remember when Uncyclopedia was full of vanity and Pokemon? Wait, it still is. Emergency of the Week Well, lots of things go wrong in Uncyclopedia. It's a simple fact of life. And this week, believe it or not, dear reader, this UnSignpost issue almost didn't make the cut! But do not despair, dear reader, because you can help! Just post any suggestions in the Press Room, and with your help, we can overcome this crisis!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  01:24, Oct 16

Upload Image

How to Check Image and Upload Sucess I try but Upload not work. User:DarkABC 11:36 Oct 16 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, your English is fairly fractured. What? Pup t 05:01, 16/10/2009

Firstly, once you've posted and someone has responded, don't change it. You make me look stupid which pisses me off. Secondly, I don't know how much more help I can be. There's some more info over here but it's not as user friendly as what I've already given you. Pup t 07:05, 16/10/2009

UnNews audio

Please do a couple of more UnNews audios so I can nom you for this. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:58, October 16, 2009 (UTC)

There is an abundance of nominees, isn't there? I'll see how I go, but unfortunately I'm limited with my recording equipment as you know. (In short, this was recorded with my mobile, then e-mailed to me, downloaded onto a computer with no working sound card, converted from .wav to .mp3, copied to the memory stick, plugged into my dvd player with usb capability, and then played back through decent stereo so I could hear it properly. So if I don't get it right the first take, then it's a bastard to fix it.) Pup t 23:21, 16/10/2009

My policy is to do them in one take, whatever happens. As for quality: you've listened to my dreadful work... what more is there to say? I appreciate your efforts, and I will forgive you if you try and write some more UnNews. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:44, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

I C WAT U DID THAR WITH UR SIG

Vary vary clevar. Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 20:02, October 16, 2009 (UTC)

I am pleased to have your blessing, King Max. Pup t 23:18, 16/10/2009

Upload for some Article

can you upload File:Siam Sithflag.png,File:Map of SiamSith.jpg,File:coat arm of Siam Sith.png for me after upload add image article name Siam Sith Empire.if you want upload file and talk to me thank you.

User:DarkABC 12:25PM Oct 17 2009 (UTC)

Okay, I don't see how I am supposed to upload images that I don't have access to, so, what I will get you to do is this -

1. upload one file to flickr or some other file sharing site.
2. Post the address of the file here - the full url.
3. Give me all the details that you want attached to the file.

What I will then do is -

1. Upload the file, taking screenshots of every step along the way
2. Put these together in some format - don't ask me what yet.

After you see the full process, from the point where I grab your file, to the point where I upload it, this will be the full extent of the help I will give. Beyond that I cannot hold your hand on this any further. Given that you are asking for my time in the middle of PLS, and my time is extremely valuable to me, this is being more than fair.

If anyone else reading feels I should do more, please feel free to volunteer to do it in my place. Pup t 12:52, 17/10/2009

UnScripts:steal Bank Customer Service training video Half-assed Followup Pee Review

I done did comments on your latest version, and stuck them under my previous review. Hope it helps. Also your new signature How??? is so totally cool. Why??? 18:48, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

Also I've been subtle in a review or two before, so this time I will not be subtle. DAMNIT LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED WITH THE DAMN THING SO I CAN NOMINATE FOR VFH DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope that wasn't too subtle for you. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:16, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

Also Also I intend to link the word homeless to HowTo:Be Homeless in America as soon as my user space article is moved to main space by The Committee. Unless you object. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:36, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

No objections on the latter, and I'll make those last few changes now. I'm not 100% if I want to start with mean Greg and flick back to "nice" Greg. I'll work on it. Pup t 01:53, 20/10/2009

On second thought, the article may flow smoother with Greg being "nice" until the ending--that might actually make Greg's sarcasm at the end less expected. I still like the idea about "no, that's not how it's done" (however you worded it). Maybe you could use that for a different article. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:16, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

You shouldn't yell at your Uncle Puppy, Whyner. Mommy might have to spank you! DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 02:03, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

I was the one yelled at. Can I get a spanking to? Pup t 02:08, 20/10/2009

Miley has to spank me first! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:13, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

But I won't take long. I've already finished my script! Pup t 02:17, 20/10/2009

Wait; I was forgetting which dimension I'm in. Actually, the way it's written now Greg sounds mean at the beginning. I'd prefer getting the same info across, but more subtly:

"Greg: (also bright and chirpy) Of course, please, make yourself comfortable. Not on this side, where sits my high backed, comfortable chair with the built in massager and the leather finish. Over there, on that nice plastic chair with the metal armrests [note at bottom--The ex high school surplus hard plastic chair with the cold metal armrests and that horrible pokey bit in your back that you'll only realise that is there once half of your body is painfully paralysed.] My name is Greg...."

You can change it if you like, but of course that's up to you. (And I don't think that would be a major enough edit to be a problem even if it was after being nommed for VFH).

I like the way you made Greg's photo match Candy's (bust shot of each--no, I don't mean boobs, I mean head and shoulders).

I'm nomming for VFH as soon as I do the link I talked about and fix one of my editing suggestions (I forgot to mention a comma; sorry about that). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:38, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

I did wonder about the plastic chair bit. I was half tempted to go the footnote on that as well. Given that you are leaning the same way... Pup t 02:42, 20/10/2009

Also I didn't think of this before but it could use more links (again, you can add these after VFH I'm sure). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:44, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

That's why I didn't footnoe the plastic chair bit - the footnotes as they are have this nice official ring to it all, adding that in there spoiled the flow slightly. And as for the extra links, I know that there is room for more. They can be added later though - in fact I'd rather leave is as much a blank canvas as possibe for people to link-up as they see fit. Pup t 02:46, 20/10/2009

I see your point about the footnotes. Maybe if the plastic chair bit were written a bit more subtly. I think that having Greg obviously mean at the beginning takes away from your strong, mean ending Greg, which I like. Maybe something like:

"Greg: (also bright and chirpy) Of course, please, make yourself comfortable. Not on this side, where sits my high backed, comfortable chair with the built-in massager and the leather finish. Over there, on that nice colorful plastic chair with the refreshingly cold metal armrests and the extra support for your spine that you can be assured will not cause half of your body to become painfully paralysed. My name is Greg...."

Let me know on my talk page when you're ready, and I'll nom it! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:58, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

It's been nommed! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:18, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the Lateral Thinking thanks, but...

...your code is spewing. It's covering up the bottom of my page and I can't read those helpful copyright notices and those wonderful ads at the bottom (we can't offend our sponsors, can we?) Congrats on winning! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:06, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

Puppy's bee says

User:Why do I need to provide this?/Sun Bee thanks King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:36, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

Your new sigmund

What's the image of? It looks vaguely... Satanic. WHAT now??? Wednesday, 00:56, Oct 21 2009

This is the way the sig should have looked except that imagemaps don't display inline - unless someone here know something that I don't - so I've settled for a click inline at the moment, and will probably split this into two different images so I can have user page and talk linked. Pup t 01:50, 21/10/2009

The way it is above is the way I saw it, only much smaller. It's my favorite of Puppy's sigs (other than when he's imitating me, of course). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:42, October 21, 2009 (UTC)

Oh, OK. Whoa! That is a huge mass of code. Where's the bestiality link? WHAT now??? Wednesday, 04:12, Oct 21 2009

Found it. You're a sick thorough person, you know that? WHAT now??? Wednesday, 04:13, Oct 21 2009

It was done mainly to see if I could do it. And thank you. Pup t 04:14, 21/10/2009

Big mass of code? Ha! Back in my day, we did all our programming with 0's and 1's. 1 0 1 0 0 1 1 0 1 0--see that? That's binary for 666! Ha, bet you didn't know that, you young whipper snappers. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:32, October 21, 2009 (UTC)

     1   0   1   0   0   1   1   0   1   0
 * 512 256 128  64  32  16   8   4   2   1
  ---- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
 + 512   0 128   0   0  16   8   0   2   0 = 666

Bugger me, he's right. Oh well, for your efforts, here's an image of me showing you the number four in binary. Pup t 04:41, 21/10/2009

You know, I was just going to make a joke about that not being the number four until I realized you're right! And it works out whether you start with the pinky or the thumb. I literally lol'ed. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:47, October 21, 2009 (UTC)

From now on, you'll know what I mean when I write 0 0 1. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:48, October 21, 2009 (UTC)

Thank you

Wikus van der Merwe thanks you for voting for BlueSpiritGuy as NotM. Because you did this he will not shoot you with his big fokken alien robot. As long as you leaves his cat food out.

Don't know Wikus? Go watch District 9 loser

--BlueSpiritGuy 18:07, October 22, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 22nd 23rd October 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Woop Woop! it's the sound of the Police UnSignpost!

October 22nd, 2009 • Issue 68 • Semi-endorsed by Journalism Union #448

Invisible UnSignpost Issue Confuses, Annoys Readers By Gerrycheevers As a gag/publicity stunt/desperate cry for attention, last week's edition of Uncyclopedia's most beloved and 3rd most cherished newspaper, the UnSignpost, was rendered invisible before being delivered. After the issue was wrapped up, UnSignpost contributing editors Dexter111344 and Socky used their inherent superpowers or something to cause the issue to not appear on user's talk pages when delivered. In addition, further enhancements rendered each user's talk page history to not be altered upon delivery, thus completely erasing any evidence that the issue was delivered or even existed at any point. Feedback thus far has been overwhelmingly negative, with angry subscribers sending death threats and exploding telegrams to the UnSignpost office for the past four days. UnSignpost Executive in Charge of Sniffing Mail, Dognewspaper (pictured), luckily suffered only minor burns and a singed tail. The UnSignpost staff would like to formally apologize to its readers, and assure them that each subsequent issue will be at least partly visible. Poo Lit Report By Electrified mocha chinchilla After giving the writers time to work on their pieces, and Modus taking time enjoying the disqualification of entries for failing the mandatory steroids screening, the 8nd Edition of the Poo Lit Surprise is in its final stages – judging. This is the time where writers who entered play with their genitals out of anxiety and nervousness, and attempt to bribe the judges with sexual favors and pie. This PLS saw a great number of entries in the Best Alternate Namespace Article. The reasoning for this, some believe, is that everyone is utterly bat fuck insane and forgot how to write regular namespace articles. Despite being held just prior to the Turkey Day Ball and Conservation Week, the turn-out was overall not bad; Modus' corporate-funded campaign for the PLS is primarily to blame for this. Speaking of corporate funding, it was indicated that there will be prize money for this edition of the PLS despite Wikia's refusal to hook a brotha' up. All irrevocable blame for Wikia's unfortunate decision has been directed at Sannse for good reason. UPDATE Winners have been announced; congratulations to all of them. According to Modusoperandi, the next PLS is expected to be held, "When the next guy remembers it's late." Fantasy Football Update By Guildensternenstein Things are really heating up in the UFFL as midseason nears, and Week Six’s storylines were of upset, domination, and redemption. Led by Tom Brady, the always-solid New England Patriots Domestic Team Name blew out the hapless Tennessee Titans Winnerz by an insane 109.38 to 0 after choking down a hard loss the previous week. The ironically-named Winnerz, on the other hand, still have yet to win a game. After a lackluster showing last week, The John Curry All-Stars earned a solid win against The Dudes, unseating them of their erstwhile #1 ranking in the process. After starting the season 0-4, Cheddar’s Doritians earned their second consecutive win, albeit against the floundering Dibiase’s Millions. Finally, Sternensteinenstine resoundingly defeated Oklahoma City Storm 164.06 to 118.98 after a lackluster showing the previous week, catapulting the Nazi-run team back atop the UFFL standings. In a look ahead to next week’s games, Sternensteinenstine looks to stay atop the UFFL rankings against a resurgent Cheddar’s Doritians, Domestic Team Name looks to retake the #1 spot against a very solid John Curry All-Stars, Oklahoma City Storm and The Dudes face off, and the bottom-dwelling dog-fucking last-placers Dibiase’s Millions and The Winnerz will look to see which one of them is shittier. Standings: Sternensteinenstine (5-1) Domestic Team Name (5-1) The Dudes (4-2) John Curry All-Stars (4-2) Oklahoma City Storm (3-3) Cheddar’s Doritians (2-4) Dibiase’s Millions (1-5) The Winnerz (0-6) IT'S OVER 25,000!!! Maybe. By Electrified mocha chinchilla Uncyclopedia just might make the mark of 25,000 articles. Sometime soon. Maybe tomorrow. Surely it's yet another milestone that only puts us that much more ahead of Wikipedia, Conservapedia, and Das Kapital combined in content. However, thoughts from the rest of the community on what this means for our beloved wiki have been varyingly expressed as joyous, apathetic, dismal, and downright nonsensical. "But even with 25,000 articles, we're still 65,000 short of being strong enough to fight Captain Ginyu," says the attractive Guildensternenstein as we stop him on his way to Planet Namek. Others offer real conversation of a possible reskin and doubts that the mark will actually be reached with Forest Fire Week probably happening sometime. Maybe. Discussion started by an attention whore in Miniluv over the Welcoming Committee and their welcoming template(s) has sparked the particular attention of many Uncyclopedians, most of whom by their own admission have never read the welcoming template, HTBFANJS, BGBU, any of the other things the welcome template advises new users to read, or have heard of Uncyclopedia. The recent round of QQ'ing and debating over the alleged poor quality of Uncyclopedia, as highlighted in the last edition's piece about the end being nigh and a Poo Lit Surprise nomination, can come to a close. It is this writer's observation that Uncyclopedia is the worst because nobody cares about editing guides which make confusing acronyms. Obvious correlation is obvious. On our final stop in our stroll through the Village Dump, to your left you will see that a n00b was just kidding, jeez, and to your right you will see that Rockstar Games reads Uncyclopedia. In the former, users urge the poor fellow to read HTBFANJS and BGBU (the same ones that they probably haven't read). If anything is to be drawn from this, it is that true editing comes from within. Or something.

Check out these pages! Uncyclopedia:Worst or Not? The Debate Rages On Free Advertisement for Jumping Ship Spreading the Good Word About New Articles From our logs: 23:04, October 9, 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.90.32.102 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(That was a waste of an edit. There are edit-starved kids in China that would've used that to its fullest extent, you know.) 10:48, October 13, 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Dwarfman1122 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎(Thought you wouldn't be caught, eh? Maybe now you'll think twice the next time you vandalize and then wait three weeks to be banned.) 18:27, October 13, 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.245.120.78 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎(Please enjoy our token Fuck the Hell Off.....) 08:10, October 15, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Sudeepk9 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week (wow, we are a beacon of sunshine today, aren't we?) 21:27, October 17, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(A wizard did this.) 17:36, October 19, 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 72.93.168.203 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (Liking Naruto and insisting we stop making fun of it. What? How is that not a reason to permanently ban someone?) Biopic of the Week Sog1970 has churned out a dozen featured articles in just a few short months, earning him a Writer of the Month nod and now, the most esteemed honor on Uncyclopedia, an UnSignpost biopic. The lack of information on his user page makes writing said biopic rather difficult, but let it be known that Sog radiates awesome. Old School Featured Article of the Week Life's Answerable Questions are a series of ponderances and queriums that have most certainly not chafed at mankind the way other, more disgustingly unanswerable questions have. For example, asking "What's new?" to a stranger will certainly elicit a less confused response than one of those other questions. You know the ones we mean. CAJEKWATCH 05:42, October 15, 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 7 minutes ‎(Because I saw you existing.) 01:23, October 16, 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 minutes ‎(HOLY SHIT IT'S CAJEK HI CAJEK PS BANBANBAN LOLOLOL) 13:21, October 22, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 147 seconds ‎(I think I'm stressed, I need a release, and this is the best available on this wiki) Random Obscene Japanese Lesson "Kimi no te de boku o ikasete." means "Make me cum with your hand." "Kimi no oppai ga DEKAI yo! Ii nee." means "Your breasts are HUGE! Nice." "Omawarisan! Chikan o tsuka-mate!" means "Police! Arrest this pervert!" That should keep you little squirts happy... Reason to Leave Uncyc #387 Still no good restaurants. This Week in Uncyc, 1933 With the United States deep in a depression, the Uncyclopedia tri-weekly newsreel tried to lighten the mood by poking fun at American President Herbert Hoover and his bumbling sidekick of a Vice President, the famed Charles Curtis. Gags included, and were limited to, both individuals being hit repeatedly with rubber chickens. Mass Delusion of the Week Last week, many users claim to have had similar psychic visions of an alternate Main Page, which told them to do things in a calm, soothing voice. Such notions are of course nonsense; 7 out of the 10 members who sit on the Uncyclopedia Paranormal Activity Investigation and Acupuncture Licensing Board agree that a combination of swamp gas and Venus caused some users to hallucinate vividly, some nearly to the point of seizure. Record for Most Boxes Tied Due to the overwhelmingly large number of stories in this week's extremely humorous edition of the UnSignpost, a correspondingly overwhelmingly large number of space-wasting side boxes had to be added to cause the issue to weigh equally on both sides of reader's talk pages. As a result, the record for number of such boxes has been tied; this issue, along with the March 24th, 1983 edition, have had the most wasted space! Record Broken!!!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  18:16, Oct 23

Same here

Yea. me 2. Anyway, do u think u can help me with the ExOps page and make it into a "Mini-site", like Uncyclopedia Health Service? I'll pay you 50 cookies. Thnx. User:Thomasfan666

Bloody Hellfire! It is a fairly significant ask, and I can't even begin to envisage how you would do that. I don't know. Give me a better idea of how you want it set out, and I might be able to help, but that is a huge task. And given I've already done this, the test section in this, the MSN section in this and this, I know how much work these sorts of things take. Pup t 07:07, 24/10/2009

Idea

I understand what u mean, and i know its a fairly signifigant task, but i want/need it to look as realistic as posible. Even though ExOps is a direct parody of Executive Outcomes, you could make it similar to http://www.dyn-intl.com/, and have such sections as "Employees", "What we do", "Fill-out job request (Where do you want bombs to be dropped,etc" and so fourth. User:Thomasfan666 PS. remember the original "Mignight Club" game? they had a good soundtrack...

You're my kinda dog

That's cool what you did, checking out the details of Spike's Fortran article because you thought it shouldn't have been disqualified. I salute you! (I'd give you a dog bisquit, but is there a template for that?) King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:46, October 24, 2009 (UTC)

I'm establishing a power base as part of the lead up to my coup d'état. Pup t 06:09, 24/10/2009

Is that so? I'll be placing you under house arrest. As soon as I shake off last night's hang over. ~ 10:06, October 24, 2009 (UTC)

Can I be in your coup de thingie? I want Mordillo to get all authoritarian with me too!    Orian57    Talk   10:09 24 October 2009

Am I getting house arrest too? If so, do I get to choose the type of house? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  18:13, October 24, 2009 (UTC)

I think you just get kept in your own house. :|    Orian57    Talk   18:55 24 October 2009

A Little Assisstance

Forgive me if this is the wrong place to put this, but I would like to ask how to post a picture.Cthulu95 20:38, October 24, 2009 (UTC)

Sign your posts first and foremost with the tildes ~~~~    Orian57    Talk   20:33 24 October 2009

As for pictures. use code similar to this:

[[File:Orian57SP2.jpg|200px|right|thumb|This is a caption.]]

And it comes out like this.

the first part is the file, use the exact header from the image you want to use. then size, 200-300px is about standard, although if it's still comming out small feel free to use bigger numbers (I think that has to do with wither or not it's a JPEG or something). then location, left and center (has to be american spelling by the way, much to my constant agony). Then if you want a caption you must put thumb then a pipe (|) and then the content of desired caption. Hope I've helped.    Orian57    Talk   20:33 24 October 2009

What he said. Pup t 00:13, 25/10/2009

We can post pics just like that? Damn. Here I thought we first had to appease one of the elder gods by sacrificing a soul. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  16:56, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

PLS Scoring

I'll be sure to let you know when I put the comments up. Unfortunately, I'm fairly busy in life right now n shit so it might be a while. Your article was very well-written and I'm going to nominate it to the VFH. Tough competition this year I must say, but good job. --EMC ^[TALK] 01:37 Oct 25 2009

Congrats, Puppy! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  00:55, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

Al Pacino

The Al Pacino Academy of Shouting UnScripts:You Don't Know Me, Motherfucker

Moved the script to its own page, and hopefully reduced most of the racism. Hope you like the changes. Did the same with the Christian Bale article as well.

Thanks for your vote!

According to your ISP's records, you supported file sharing. The Recording Industry Association of AmericaTM has notified the authorities of your unacceptable political views. Lars Ulrich will shortly visit your residence in our name to kick your teeth out. In the meantime, thank you for voting.

--Andorin Kato 17:54, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

Quality Control you VFH before using it for QC

Hi there, HMV. Thanks for the info. You have some nice guys, some flaming ass holes, and some envious whackos = say, 20 ?? Man, thats sounds more like a tiny nut house than democracy. I have twice that many employees.

One solution is people should state-admit their bias, and be not allowed to vote in those categories. The guy who always votes against your handle is doing just that. And he/she is just an crazy ass-hole who is envious of your good work - you should have some way to accuse him!!!

Somehow you must have QUALITY CONTROL IN YOUR GROUP, RATHER THAN BY THE GROUP. Otherwise a lot of people, with much less patience than me, will say, "FUCK UNCYCLOPEDIA" after a couple bad experiences, and your tiny group will never grow. At is kind of a RUDE EXPERIENCE. Don't burn people out. Aren't you supposed to be an attractive web site, and not a repulsive one? Personally, getting a feature is NOT going to pay for my goddamn rent.--Funnybony 09:07, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

What's with the double indenting?    Orian57    Talk   12:15 26 October 2009

Also I disagree, as much as I hate against votes with skimpy reasons or that guy who invaribly votes against my "gay" stuff. Everyone is entitled to vote how they please. other wise it doesn't work. Or worse requires admins to do further work.    Orian57    Talk   12:15 26 October 2009

So why do the Courts have Jury Duty screening? To weed out the ass holes with bias. VFH should have some standards. There was one article I put, Jack Bauer Facts, and in spite of it being a good article on the genre of Bauer Jokes, which are loved by millions, this one-single person hated the genre (nothing to do with the article), and on THAT FUCKING BASIS they wanted it deleted. Like, if you don't like AC/DC therefore no one can hear them!?? Fortunately this person was fair and open-minded and agreed that their personal bias should not deprive millions of their favorite humor. And so it's OK, I guess, or at least until some jerk tries to delete it again for the same reason. So consider Courtroom "Jury Duty" guidelines, and try to employ those to make VFH unbiased.--Funnybony 12:51, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

Err, funnyboy, you need to chill out a bit here. First of all, we're not going to bury VFH with further red tape than it already has. We all need to live with the current system that is based on the sad fact that humor is in the eye of the beholder. So, while you might think your articles are excellent, others might have other opinions (off topic: I don't have any, I didn't get the chance to read any of yours, I'm generalizing here). Also, I think comparing Jury Duty (which I believe is an idiotic system anyway, but that's bedside the point) to voting on featured articles on a humor wiki is hardly a valid analogy in my honest opinion. And last, my ever repeating points - featuring is not the epitome of Uncyclopedia and your experience here should not be derived from VFH. It you think that voters are voting against you for spite, that's another issue and you're welcome to have a chat with an admin. But I've looked over some of the voting pages and it doesn't seem to be the case. You just need to relax a bit, we all have shitty days in VFH, I had a fair share myself. ~ 12:57, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

we have all had work crucified on vfh, but it only goes to make it stronger. One day i will go back and redo vitiligo, and it will be an article I can be proud of. In the meantime I'm happy to create things like the sat in Baby Boomers because I recognise that your style, while very different to mine, is very funny. And no-one here wants more to see you sparkle on VFH. It's just patience, dude. Pup 13:22, 26/10/2009

Also, what I came here for: You're a big cock.

And congrats on your poo lit wins and things. My last minute article came thrid, so I'm quite pleased. Faggot. Yeah I said it.    Orian57    Talk   12:15 26 October 2009

As usual, you're only here for the cock. Hell, my last minute entry, Jesus Lites™ didn't even contend. So grats back to yourself. Ya horses hoof. Pup 13:16, 26/10/2009

0_0 What did you just call me!? Also are you aware that "User:POTR" isn't your userspace? It has to be your full name, punishing those who ridiculous long names.    Orian57    Talk   17:15 26 October 2009

User:POTR was a sockpuppet who got banned, which means that user space is available for me to dump stuff into - which was also why I created that 'puppet in the first place. And don't tell me you haven't heard the rhyming slang "horses hoof". Pup 01:06, 27/10/2009

Homophobe!    Orian57    Talk   14:01 28 October 2009

Homophile! Pup 21:31, 28/10/2009

On A Similar Note...

...Congrats on your win in the Alt. Namespace section. And, in my opinion, you were totally screwed out of the Best Image category, too. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 19:19, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

Dunno, know that I think about it Sonje had a point.    Orian57    Talk   21:43 26 October 2009

I think we can all agree that I deserved to win in every category... right guys? Guys? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 23:38, Oct 26 2009

Sonje had a point, and I always knew that a major hurdle that I would have to get over was whether they would accept the image as an illustration being that it was very text based. If it was best image category, I would agree. And by the same token, I think the scores on the best alt namespace don't really reflect how close that really came, but like so many other things we do here, humour is largely subjective. Pup 01:06, 27/10/2009

Sad but true. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 03:52, Oct 27 2009

Indeed. Maybe this is just haughty pretentious old me talking, but I thought POTR's article was by far the most original (even innovative) use of images, even if they are text-based images. Made props to Monika for doing something similarly different. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:40, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

On a not similar note...

You're weird. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 06:46, Oct 27 2009

I'm wired? Like wired for sound? Pup 07:16, 27/10/2009

No, as in weird that you know enough about the Book o' Mormon to know that "And it came to pass..." is repeated an infinitum. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 00:03, Oct 29 2009

UnNews:Man who claimed to have found God arrested for wasting police time

I'll date it today Oct 28, and do a couple of minor edits for housekeeping; UnNews stuff which I like to do. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 22:35, October 28, 2009 (UTC)

QVFD

Thanks for posting the cyberbullying articles on the QVFD. However, in the future, if you could refrain from putting that little note on the pages and simply leave them be, that would be much appreciated. It's not a bad thing to do in theory, but it adds an unnecessary step to the process of deletion, which I'd prefer not happen. If the other admins have been conspiring against me and have all already told you to do so, then kindly disregard my presence. I'm not even here right now O_O - Also, penis. 03:39, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

Cool. Knee-jerk reaction as I was unable to actually knee the jerk, but I hear you. Pup

Thanks

But I'm afraid I'm a tad inexperienced. How exactly do I put it up for Pee Review? --Ozymandiaz 12:55, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

1. Go to UN:PEE (or click on the link to PEE review that is in the community box to the left of your screen.)
2. Scroll down to the bottom of the page where it says Create entry. Chuck the name of your article in the box and click the button.
3. It will come up with a page looking remarkably like the below:

---

Main

Current

Reviewed

Archive

Guidelines

FAQ

Committee

RotM

Megalomaniac

--Ozymandiaz 03:20, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

Humour:		{{{Hcomment}}}
Concept:		{{{Ccomment}}}
Prose and formatting:		{{{Pcomment}}}
Images:		{{{Icomment}}}
Miscellaneous:		{{{Mcomment}}}
Final Score:	Not reviewed yet	{{{Fcomment}}}
Reviewer:	{{{Signature}}}

Not reviewed yet!
Review now

{{Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Menu}}

==={{subst:PRTitle|{{SUBPAGENAME}}}}===
<!-- ^ No need to change the above line unless it looks terribly wrong when you save.
     Put comments, requests, etc below this line - or even delete this whole part. -->

~~~~

{{Pee Review Table
|Hscore=
|Hcomment=
|Cscore=
|Ccomment=
|Pscore=
|Pcomment=
|Iscore=
|Icomment=
|Mscore=
|Mcomment=
|Fcomment=
|Signature=
}}

[[Category:Pee Review]]

Save page Preview Show changes

---

4. Simply save the page and leave it at that. Keep an eye on your watchlist as somebody will (usually) tag it when they start the review, but they may not drop a note on your talk-page when it's done.

Good luck!

Pup

Congrats

on your WotM win. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 02:45, Nov 1 2009

Thanks. I don't know if it's official yet or not, but much like FOX news, I'm calling it! Pup

You're still a complete noob, you know. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 03:33, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

But I'm a n00b with panache. Pup

Hah! Noobs don't have panache! They don't get panache rights until they've been on Uncyc for at least a year. Oh, and Puppy? Your coding is, how the French say, terrible. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 03:53, Nov 1 2009

Sorry, I don't speak French. Merde! Pup

Jai habit un batton de col.    Orian57    Talk   10:23 1 November 2009

A true renaissance man. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 06:06, Nov 2 2009

Hello?

I haven't heard from u in a while, so i'll ask you the question again: "Can you make my ExOps page look like an actual website"? User:Thomasfan666

Sorry, I thought I'd responded already. I can have a go at it later, but it is a huge amount of work that needs to be done to make it look like a website. What I can do is give you a structure, but I'll leave it to you to finalise the content. Pup

What happened to the puppy talking into the Victrola?

The old signature was vommitously cute - which made everything horrible that was said that much more horrible.

I absolutely agree. Untill it's return I propose a strike on all signitures.

 For. I agree as well, if only I knew what on earth we were talking about.

This annonimity is soo cool! I could vote against right now and nobody would know I was contradicting myself.

ChiefjusticeDS is teh sux0rz! He is such a fag.

 Against.

Whoa, I didn't know that was a real template.

I'm pretty sure it's also broken. Puppy's page is all fucked up now.

It was broken anyway, in fact, I AM POTR now, and nobody can prove otherwise. I can be anyone I want to be now.

No! I am POTR!

Well that doesn't matter because I am Mordillo. Kneel primitive being.

No I am Mordillo! How dare you use my name in vain! banbanbanabanabanbanabnananananabnanbabnabnabnanbabn!

I'm Mordillo and so is my wife.

I am not Mordillo! Are you confusing me with your mistress again? I was so right earlier, this contradiction is fun!

That's all very well but I'm Orian57.

Fuck off Orian, no one likes you. Everybody stop talking and shake your head in disgust.

I, Mordillo, shake my head in disgust.

 Against..

Cheif would like to know who Orian57 is.

:(

Hang on, who are you?

Your mother, cheif, I am very dissapointed in this bullying behaviour. I think you should gently fuck Orian as an apology.

So either POTR has to watch chief gently fucking Orian, or change his sig back?

No she said He should make love to me because he was mean about me. :( Puppy can do whatever he likes with his sig. Abstain.

 For.

Broken template? What broken template?

So what happened...

...from my end is that I got an e-mail saying that Luvvy had commented on her talk page (amongst a few other things.) The next thing I know is that I can't get onto Uncyclopedia for the majority of the day. Now that is classy vandalism! Pup

Even classier is the fact that I couldn't get on, either, even though I was totally unrelated to the issue! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 06:13, Nov 2 2009

After reading your "rulez"...

I am here to tell you that The Tragic Lumberjack Drownings of Ought Nine is on VFP and you should totally take a look. =D • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 06:13, Nov 2 2009

Well, rats. I kind of asked for it though... • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 06:43, Nov 2 2009

Sorry. If it's any consolation I feel guilty. Pup

Nah, serves me right for selling myself. Tut tut and all that. Oh, congrats on the feature! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 07:01, Nov 2 2009

Christian Bale

its reeeeaaaddddddyyyyy... i think. You might want to give a quick glance.--Matfen815 13:59, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

It's Melbourne Cup day, which means public holiday here, so I won't get a chance to look at this until tomorrow most likely. Pup

Salty latex

Thanks for the Nom! And yay for the puppy signature being back. --Puffskein 17:38, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

You deserved the nom. And I had to bow to public pressure on the sig. Pup

Yay Puppy on the radio! DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 23:16, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

Hi

I've submitted Megalomaniac for Pee Review. You can voice your thoughts here. --Ozymandiaz 20:14, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

I'm getting there, I think there are still a few articles in front on my list though. --ChiefjusticeDS 21:40, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

I'm happier for chief to go through the review first. He's better at reviewing then I am, and I'd rather actually help with any work that needs to be done with it. Pup

/Chief notes this down in his little book of compliments/ --ChiefjusticeDS 23:22, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

WotM

Congrats and stuff! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  00:57, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

I second that Congrats. --Puffskein 15:09, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 29-10-2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism Johnny Is Teh FAGXORZ!!111 SHUT UP DOUCHEBAG!!11

October 29th, 2009 • Issue 69 • Hehehe, 69

9001(bot)  01:39, Nov 3

CW

Nice work on Street Fighter for CW, there. Made me laugh several times. -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 21:22, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Thank you. Please continue to tell me how good I am! Pup

Oh, Puppy, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind! Hey Puppy. Hey Puppy. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:25, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Oh Whyner, what a pity you don't understand. You're playing with my heart when you grab me by the glans. Pup

True poetry. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 03:47, Nov 4 2009

Yeah, and it's ripped off, too. Although it seems to me Puppy just might have changed one of the song's words.... King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:58, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Street Fighter

I could go and remove those red links at some point if need be. I'm on the same boat. Though the proposed idea of Juli and Juni doesn't sound half bad, actually. It's just figuring out how to make that work into a whole article, that's the tough part.

Also, awesome work on that article. It's better than whatever I could do. You deserve something... like, I dunno... one of those gold star stickers or something. Or a sweatband. -- Hanyouman 08:34, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Puppy--or anybody--I can use your help ASAP

All I'm trying to do is something very simple. User:Puffskein wants me to adopt her, so I'm trying to add {{Adoptee|Why do I need to provide this?}} to her user page so it shows up centered and below {{VoteNOTM}} but doesn't change anything else on her user page. Simple, huh? Except I'm trying it on a test page and keep screwing it up. Can anybody either tell me how to do it, or just do it for me and then I can look at your code and see what to do next time? Thanks! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:59, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

Dude, before you get too involved, you know there are no girls on the internet, right? --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 02:03, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

Oh, don't give me that crap just fix it or tell me how to fix it if you know how so I don't look like an idiot. I don't care anyway if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's not a vandal. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:05, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, you're my stepdad I shouldn't talk to you like that. I'm just trying to be a responsible parent by throwing a temper tantrum. That's how it works, right? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:06, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

I'm your stepdad? So does that mean Puffskein is my step-granddaughter? This is the happiest day of my life. I added the template for you. (Trick was to treat it like a userbox, since it is one.) Knock 'em dead, slugger. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 02:09, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

We are somewhat incestuous today, aren't we? Pup

What's that got to do with it? As I understand it, Cainad and Eris Discordia are Miley's parents, Miley's my mother, I'm Puffskein's father, Puppy is Miley's brother, and Syndrome is my stepdad. Where's the incest? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:17, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

Might have something to do with how I found Eris... --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 02:23, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

I'm your stepdad? So does that mean Puffskein is my step-granddaughter? This is the happiest day of my life. I added the template for you. (Trick was to treat it like a userbox, since it is one.) Knock 'em dead, slugger. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 02:09, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

You fixed it! Way to go, StepDad! I knew it was simple, but I keep getting my versions of HTML mixed up. I still keep trying to design on a wiki like I do on a website. Ah, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. But thanks! And I guess you're my stepdad--you nommed me for NotM, Pee Reviewed my first article Sun Bee, fixed Archery when I threw a tantrum and abandoned it, and hung around with Mommy Miley a lot. (By the way the top 10 for October voting is going on now). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:13, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

Aw, you're welcome. (I usually wait until the end before voting on the top 3 because I haven't read all 30 articles, and then I usually miss my chance to vote because I forget.) --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 02:23, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

Since it's my talk page, I'll just quickly suggest that as you can vote for 10, Lateral Thinking and UnScripts:steal Bank Customer Service training video are both very good articles. Pup

If they're such good articles, why can't they find me true love? --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 02:36, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

I'm literally working on Love as we speak. I've just saved it in progress so you can read where I am so far. It's still well and truly a work in progress though. Pup

Congratulations! You're a Great Uncle!

It's a baby and her name is Puffskein! And look, she's already learning sign language!

I'm the adoptive Daddy of Puffskein; I was adopted by Miley; Miley was adopted by Cainad; you're Miley's brother, so that makes you a Great Uncle. Congratulations, Uncle! Be sure to go see your new niece! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:12, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

Why doesn't she come and see me? I'm an old man and I don't get around much any more, what with this mad cow disease. I was trying to think of the word nepotism the other day and I sais incestuous in its place. And I keep putting apostrophes in its when denoting ownership. And you just want to send me to a home and take all my money. Pup

It's Ok, Puppy. I'm your little sister and I won't let them put you in a home. But why don't you give me the money so I can keep it safe for you? You trust your little sister, don't you? DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 23:17, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

John Paul Puppy the I, please tell me how. . .

. . .to change out the Globe insign. in the left hand corner of your user and talk page. If you tell me I promise not to put any goddessforsakenboobpics on it. Thanketh, Aleister in Chains 01:45, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

{{Imageaslogo}} - although I have it attached to the template at the top of the screen there which is my nav bar. The code I've got is {{Imageaslogo|logo=PuppyOnTheRadio.gif|Align=-25px}}. The align statement determines where the picture is height-wise.

And alternative though is what I did to the street fighter article -

{{nologo}}
<span style="position: absolute; left: -157px; top: -30px;">
{{click-inline
|image = Streetfighteriiturbo21 2.gif
|width =180px
|link = Main Page
|title = Hadōken
}}
</span>

Which allows you to also change the link and the title (which is what comes up when you mouse hover). It also gives you a bit more flexibility where you can adjust the size of the image to suit as well.

Another option is doing it this way.

{{nologo}}
<span style="position: absolute; left: -157px; top: -30px;">
[http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Street_Fighter 
http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/6/63/Animated-Flag-Australia.gif]
</span>

If your image is already the right size this will give you the image in the right place with a link to another page - and it is an external link, so it can redirect to anywhere.

And one other option is to have it as a fixed point image, like this.

<div style="position: fixed; left: -11px; top: 0px;">
[[Image:Animated-Flag-Australia.gif|170px]]
</div>

Which means even if you scroll the page, that image remains. The Australian flag in this page has been done using fixed positioning, as has the error messages in this page.

Hope that helps Pup

Way over my head, but I'll give it a try within a day or two. Thanks very much. The two examples you gave, your Microsoft and Austalian pages, amazing, esp. the Microsoft. If there's a lifetime achievement award for Uncy, I'd say that article deserves it. I'm so overwhelmed I need to go and pull the covers over my head. Aleister in Chains 02:31, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

Tell me what you want and I'll set it up if you prefer. I've done it a few times a few different ways so I have a bit of skill at getting it exactly the way I want it. I might even fix your talk page while I'm there. Pup

Thanks, when I find something fun I'll give you a ping. The talk page is fine, I like what you did, and it's a quick way to get in touch when I'd like to get back here. I went back and looked at the Microsoft page again. Damn good. And shows me a little bit more how all those pop ups appear on internet pages. Arthur Clarke's datum comes to mind, seem like magick to those of me who don't have the tech knowledge. Twanks again, Aleister in Chains 02:55, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

Actually, most of those pop-ups are through VBS, javascript, flash, or some other form of scripting. What I've done is a very crude faux VBS pop-up which uses an animated gif along with fixed positioning to emulate the result I was after. If I had access to real scripting like that I'd be much more effective. If only I used my powers for evil instead of good. Pup