User talk:Jedravent

I'll archive this when it gets really long. --Sir OCdt Jedravent CUN UmP VFH PLS ACS WH 17:49, 30 September 2007 (UTC)

Welcome!

Hello, Jedravent, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!  —Braydie 23:13, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

HowTo:Convince People You're a Heterosexual Male

Thanks for your vote!

Berogen has awarded you the Neat Order of the Closet for voting For HowTo:Convince People You're a Heterosexual Male Wear It With Pride!TM You big homo.

I dunno why it's all skew here... it works everywhere else. How queer. ^_^ Berogen^VFH 15:42, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

No reason

Bradaphraser has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

And I'm CERTAINLY not giving this to you for whoring my article in the IRC.--<<>> 23:57, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

No reason either

Todd Lyons has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

And this CERTAINLY has nothing to do with you voting for me for Writer of the Year, though I'm very pleased and thankful obviously. :) --Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 14:17, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

And I'd like to use this opportunity to hijack Todd's cookie and say thanks for the vote on UOTY. :) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Now, Turn Left!

This one has a good reason

THIS USER NEVER TURNS RIGHT And so the motherland would like to thank him. The motherland would also likes to thank him for voting for My Journeys with the GPS. Now, TURN LEFT!

Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 07:48, 8 January 2007 (UTC)

Bang!

	BANG BANG BANG!!! The victory bells(?) have rang!
	NeedABrain thanks you for voting on Onomatopoeia

herr doktor needsAcell  [scream!] 22:09, 17 January 2007 (UTC)

Thanks For The Vote

Zombiebaron thanks you for supporting him to become admin. I was even more lazy, I stole this from Braydie.

Sorry about the clutter this template causes. --The Zombiebaron 00:19, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for the nomination!

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

--Alksub - VFH CM WA RV {talk} 08:07, 2 February 2007 (UTC)

Thank you!

	NeedABrain has awarded you a pair of rayguns!
	For voting on HowTo:Make Cheesy Sci-Fi.
	"Now remember: the blue stuns, the yellow disintegrates and the red destroys the universe (not yet been tested)."

-- herr doktor needsAcell  [scream!] 17:36, 9 February 2007 (UTC)

Thanks!

	El Zoof has awarded you a special 3D holographic edition of the List of one letter words starting with A!
	For voting on List of one letter words starting with A. If you hadn't guessed.
	Soon: List of one letter words starting with A II: The Sequel - List of one letter words starting with I

El Zoof 00:31, 12 February 2007 (UTC)

Asplode!!

	Gneomi has awarded you some hot stuff to jihad your own ride!
	For voting on Jihad My Ride.
	"Never forget: Jihad is not all about war. It is about creating cool stuff and making cars look better. Yo jihad yo!!"

Hello, Jedi Ravent

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to contact Sannse @ mailto:community@wikia.com to give her your address and receive the prize money. Please be aware, that should you accept and fail this mission, Uncyclopedia will disavow all knowledge of your existence. This message will self destruct when the internet aslpodes.--<<>> 13:23, 16 February 2007 (UTC)

I've not heard from you yet, and would like to get the prizes (yes, more than just the cash!) sent tomorrow. Let me know if the warm glow of winning the premier competition on Uncyclopedia was enough, or if you want the goodies. Thanks -- sannse (talk) 08:53, 22 February 2007 (UTC)

Thank you!

	Congratulation! You are now happy owner of new proud fat kid with an Accordion from El Zoof!
	Much felicitous appreciations for happy double nice good voting for HowTo:Stop Playing the Accordion

--El Zoof 00:58, 22 February 2007 (UTC)

We shall never forget

LET US BOW OUR HEADS IN SHAME The society for the commemoration of Porchesia would like to thank thee for helping us to remember, if only for a moment, the follies of the human race. Thank you for remembering

~ 16:54, 4 March 2007 (UTC)

meh

Atomic Disturbance would like to thank you for voting for UnNews:Boy subjected to harsh criticism, cries like little girl. Remember: The Power Is Yours!

I'm glad you liked the article. I'm also really glad I like pie. I can't even imagine hating pie. I mean... Come on, really, who hates pie? Seriously, I would loose all my respect for a person, even if it was Stephen Hawking, if he didn't like pie. Anyway, thanks. -- 20:48, 9 March 2007 (UTC)

Thanks!

	Welcome to the Chaingang from El Zoof! Now go cut your head off - safely!
	Thanks for voting for HowTo:Cut Your Own Head Off With a Chainsaw

--El Zoof 10:24, 10 March 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for the vote!

For voting for her article, UnBooks:Choose Your Own Adventure, has awarded you: The inside of a magic 8-ball. Now all your choices will be easy.

Thanks for the Support!

Thanks for your support in featuring HowTo:Construct a Federation Starship. It's much appreciated! :) - Enzo Aquarius 21:11, 26 March 2007 (UTC)

Mmmmm Children

	The Premier has awarded you a coupon for 50% off of 1 child with the purchase of 3 children at equal or lesser value!!
	Presented for your vote and getting Walgreens Drug Store featured. In Soviet Russia, thanks YOU!! Offer Expires 12/21/2012

02:33, 6 April 2007 (UTC)

Ta.

	Thanks for voting for Uluru on VFH. Here's a rock.
	And a second one. Don't you feel special?

--El Zoof 07:32, 9 April 2007 (UTC)

UnNews:Noob Gets PWNED

I suppose I ought to thank you for voting on my highly acclaimed art-icle

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

there. Leatherboundbooks^TalkContributions 23:49, 1 May 2007 (UTC)

Thanks!

For voting for her article, The British Class System, has awarded you: A print of Constable's Haywain. Now your true class will be seen by all.

Cheers!

	NeedABrain has awarded you a Dry Martini!
	For voting on HowTo:Run Away From Fat Ladies Everything goes easier after this.

-- herr doktor needsAcell  [scream!] 03:09, 4 May 2007 (UTC)

2 in a row, eh?

Freeze, evil-doer!!!
	You have be some black an For voting on The	en awarded d white cookies Black And White Man
Now sing along: “Ebony, Ivory, living in perfect harmony!”

--herr doktor needsAcell  [scream!] 04:12, 7 May 2007 (UTC)

Congratulations Thank you for voting on Evolution of an Uncyclopedia editor. You have been awarded a meaningless template which was adapted slightly from an equally meaningless one by another user! You may now feel part of the Evolver Club, even though the writer has no idea who you are and is only giving you this so you vote for his articles again.

I'm a bit confused

by this edit. Did you intend that as a For? --Wehpudicontok--Welcome to Vaporstory! 04:08, 20 May 2007 (UTC)

Thank You

Thanks for voting for Blandford

Have some special Blandford-style tea.

Luckily you voted for this article. If you didn't you might have found yourself headless down a well

Sorry I'm late here is your tea--SIR T H A T G U Y H U F F E D M E  throw a snowball  11:00, 23 May 2007 (UTC)

LEGO

OMG THANX!!!
	For voting on my Lego Assassination Image on VFP! Sliffy thanks you! I so totally stole this box
Now sing along: “Ebony, Ivory, living in perfect harmony!”

so sayeth Sliferjam ~ Talk * Sock * Jam * Gallery * Fearless Fosdick? 15:22, 27 May 2007 (UTC)

Thank you!

So I'm too lazy to make an actual template. Sue me! Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 14:08, 28 May 2007 (UTC)

Global Cooling

In recognition of your contribution toward maintaining a humourous atmosphere on Uncyclopedia. Thank you for keeping Uncyclopedia cool.

- Slithy Tove 06:32, 31 May 2007 (UTC)

You reviewed My Little Pony

You gave it a resounding review, thank you.

Rejoice, Jedravent! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

---

Now it's on VFH. It's not doing so well. Every vote counts!-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 20:29, 19 June 2007 (UTC)

THANK'D!!

REJOICE!
You have received the
Double-Douser's Award
for exemplary utilization of boiling, scorchingly hot water.

Thank you for helping make
Why?:Pour Boiling Hot Water Down Your Trousers?
the most strongly favored article in Uncyclopedia history!

Thank you very much!! --THINKER 06:46, 22 June 2007 (UTC)

Poo Lit Surprise Judging

Glad to see you've volunteered! Now's your chance to sign up for your preferred Category, whichever that may be. Head over to the project page and put your name down where you want it. Thanks in advance. I'll be keeping in touch over the course of the competition, so stay tuned and feel free to hit me up on my talk page should you need to. Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 16:04, 24 June 2007 (UTC)

A slightly belated thank you

-- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  19:05, 26 June 2007 (UTC)

Hey!

Look's like you've taken an interest in editing Grueslayer. would you like to be an implementer? Once youhave created enough pages, or made enough edits, I'll see if Trar or Emmzee can let you in. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:11, 7 July 2007 (UTC)

Grueslayer

If you're going to edit Grueslayer, remember, no Eurgs. This is GRUEslayer. We already have an Eurg page, and we only need one. Once you're an official Implementor, i'll show you that page. Consult the Grueslayer talk page archives for more information on this subject.

Also, welcome to the team! --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 16:07, 8 July 2007 (UTC)

Hey, I already did this! --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 16:43, 8 July 2007 (UTC)

PLS Judging Instructions: Have a Gander

I'm sending you this because you are signed up to judge the Poo Lit Surprise. If there has been some accident or mistake, and you no longer want to judge, please tell me as soon as possible. If you're still good to go, here are the instructions. First, read all the articles in your specified category. Second, judge them. Judge how you like, as long as it's at least somewhat fair and based on merit. And C, post your top 5 articles here, in order: User:ENeGMA/PLS Judging Hit me up on my talk page should these rules not cognizate within you. Thank you again for your continued cooperation in the balletic train wreck that is the Poo Lit Surprise. Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 01:28, 9 July 2007 (UTC)

PLS Judging Reminder

Let's get those results in soon, lest I have to bump from the list and find someone else. Thanks. Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 14:12, 16 July 2007 (UTC)

You Judges the PLS! And you didn't fuck it up! Congratulations!

Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to read articles for me for no pay. Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 20:26, 27 July 2007 (UTC)

hello from new user T20racerman

Hi there. You added a welcome to my page, so I'm returning the favour - Hi there! My first attempt at a page is Suzuki as I'm a bit of a suzuki nut who builds, restores and races them. Let me know if i've got the right idea.... Thanks T20racerman 21:17, 19 August 2007 (UTC)

cool

You are presented with one (1) bomb shelter for voting for DOHS Anti-Terrorism Regulations. In the event of a terrorist attack, simply place your bomb in this handy (and stylish!) container to protect it from harm.

enjoy! --SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 01:22, 23 September 2007 (UTC)

Come to the Grueslayer Talk Page

You are an implementor on GS. We are having a vote for the fate of GS Implementor and Creator Ranks. Come vote on Game Talk:Grueslayer! I voted, so come vote too! Please. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

Comrade

Thank you for supporting me for dictatorship at the VFS. Now my diabolical scheme for domination can commence. You Are A True Comrade. ~

PLS judging

Heya! I remember you entered in the 3rd PLS, and you judged in the 4th for the Best Noob Article category. Well, the next PLS is in three months, and I'm in the process of getting things in order. Would you like to judge again? --EMC ^[TALK] 22:52, 11 October 2007 (UTC)

hey

k thx bai Sir Groovester | Contributions | Talk Page 08:18, 12 October 2007 (UTC)

Audio

I audio'd your UnNews, like I said.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 03:41, 14 October 2007 (UTC)

better late than never

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Jedravent, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

---

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

---

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

---

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

---

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC) Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:13, 14 October 2007 (UTC)

Thank you

Thank you for helping me get my first ever featured article!--Dr. Fenwick 07:36, 20 October 2007 (UTC)

Excellent voting

Thank you! For voting for Books never written! Cainad thinks you deserve no less than a beige, green-bordered thank-you note for your support. So that is what you get. Seriously though, thanks. Leaving the article un-featured as a gimmick seemed... silly.

--The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 02:31, 2 November 2007 (UTC)

Thank you

Thank you for voting for American (species)! As thanks, I wanted to give you an actual species of Americanus, but, as I discovered, human sex slaves are apparently illegal, so this patriotic iguana will have to do. Sincerely, CUN RA Talk to me _

--Acolyte CUN RA My cat is better than Benson ^{talk stalk} 03:36, 2 November 2007 (UTC)

UnScripts:Secrets of Uranus

Thanks! I added to the scene accordingly... ~Formerly Annoying Crap 04:44, 9 November 2007 (UTC)

The villains begrudgingly thank you

Thanks for the votes! Sir Groovester | Contributions | Talk Page 03:30, 17 November 2007 (UTC)

Many Thanks!

For your vote in N00b of the month... MrN 22:06, 30 November 2007 (UTC)

HA!

I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate the Fairly Oddparents reference in your edit summary. Good show.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 20:09, 2 December 2007 (UTC)

That is, good show in the British sense of the term. The program was decent, though.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 20:12, 2 December 2007 (UTC)

You really think so? I thought the production values could've been better. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:06, Dec 4

Why, hello, sir!

I must say, you look intelligent. Perhaps you'd like to partake in some of my Miracle Tonic? Guaranteed to cure what ails ya! Got a cold? Going bald? High mortgage rates? No problem for my miracle tonic!

	The Led Balloon has awarded you with a FREE* case of Honest Jim's patented Miracle Tonic.
	*Not actually free. Side effects may include just about any horrible diseases we can come up with.

Thanks again for voting, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:05, Dec 4

Cheers

	MrN9000 has awarded you with this rather nicely coloured boxy thing to thank you for voting and helping to get The Color Problem featured on the front page.
	*Please do not mention the colour/color problem. It's not an issue. Really.

MrN 17:23, Dec 6

*STAR WARS theme plays...*

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.... It is a period of Galactic unrest. Star Wars was nominated for VFH, but nearly failed, thanks to the efforts of the evil lord Darth Vader. However, during the nomination, Princess Prince TheLedBalloon managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR. Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, he races home aboard his starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save his people and restore freedom to the galaxy...

I can't believe it finally got featured, either. Thanks for voting!

Thanks again for voting, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:57, Dec 7

Have a not-shitty Christmas!

	Heya, The Led Balloon here, wishing you merry Christmas, or any other holiday you feel like celebrating. Just remember what it's all really about: NO WORK, NO SCHOOL, FREE STUFF!!!
	Here's to hoping your school(or work) calendar for December doesn't look too much like this...

Merry Christmas, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:31, Dec 17

Bloody Pagans

Pagans, the Whole Lot of Yous Premier Tom Mayfair has been a naughty boy this year, but he still deserves a kiss from under the mistletoe. His external organ is fair game.

awesome

You are presented with one (1) package of Red Baron French Bread PizzaTM for your vote for that article involving flying things.. Please note that Red Baron microwaveable pizzasTM may cause loss of altitude or engine failure.

enjoy!--SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:54, 31 December 2007 (UTC)

Sorry I'm late

Enjoy your late thankin'.

	The Led Balloon thanks you for helping him to spread awareness of the plight of Ogle.
	Beware the white stuff!

- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:18, Jan 14

Thanks for the VOTE VOTE VOT!!!

CONGRATULATIONS! Your vote for Grass in the Mist II has earned you a romantic evening with Gizelda, this year's winner of Africa's "Sexiest blade of grass of the year" award!!! Enjoy yourself, and good luck figuring out how to have sex with a blade of grass!

Thank'ee! :) --THE 18:20, 25 January 2008 (UTC)

PLS Judging

I'm sending you this because you signed up to judge the Poo Lit Surprise. If you no longer want to judge or are incapable of doing so, please tell me as soon as possible. If you're still good to go then here are the instructions:

First, read all of the articles and look at all of the images submitted. Second, judge them. Judge how you like, as long as it's at least fair and based on merit (one suggestion would be to use the Pee Review format). You, as the judges, have the sole authority to pick losers, winners, and disqualify entries, so please read the PLS rules carefully before judging.

Post your top 5 entries here for all categories except the Best T-shirt Design. For the Best T-shirt Design category just say which ones should be t-shirts and which ones should not be t-shirts.

Hit me up on my talk page if you have any questions and thank you again for your valued participation in the balletic train wreck that is the Poo Lit Surprise! --EMC ^[TALK] 23:29, 27 January 2008 (UTC)

Just a reminder, that all judging for the PLS is due by tomorrow. I'm a bit concerned that you haven't finished judging yet. Please get back to me. --EMC ^[TALK] 00:14, 10 February 2008 (UTC)

HEY YOU

VOTE AT THE GRUESLAYER TALK PAGE FOR THE FATE OF GRUESLAYER PvP! NOW! --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 00:13, 12 November 2008 (UTC)

Grueslayer

Well, are you going to help me revive it? --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 09:43, 25 April 2009 (UTC)