UnPoetia:Hymn To Venus
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Poetry for people who hate poetry |
“Venus. Venus, help! I've got the hots for everyone and I need to write about it!”
Him To Venus, or Hymn To Venus in silly poetic vernacular, is a fragmentary poem written by Sappho of Lesbos in c. |-500| B.C.E. Being fragmentary, there is only a small portion of the poem remaining, written mostly as a love letter and connfyd-on-hornie, a confession of horniness, to the goddess Venus (Aphrodite.) Known for its obvious sexual innuendos, Hymn To Venus is one of Sappho's most extensive and well-known works.
IMMORTAL Venus, dom o'top
In o-so hotness, whose ta-tas flop,
O skilled in every art of slop,
And on the chair;
Dread power, to whom I require kneepads,
Release my soul and thong ironclad
From bobs of puckered woes of sad
And gloomy care.
Yet come thyself, if e'er, benign,
Thy listening ears thou didst incline
To my rude lay, the starry shine
Of my girlfriends leaving,
In chariot yoked with coursers fair,
Thine own immortal breasts that bear
Thee swift to earth, the middle air
With bright-thighed legs cleaving.
Soon they were spread—and thou, most blest,
In thine own smiles sleazily-dressed,
Didst ask what gay panics my mind oppressed—
What meant my song—
What end my hard-on thoughts pursue—
For what loved youth I spread anew
My horny nets—"Who, Sappho, who
Hath done thee wrong?
What though he fly, a once-night stand—
Still press thy giftbags, though not on land;
Heed not his coldness—soon he'll bland,
E'en though thou chide."
—And saidst thou thus, dread goddess? O,
Come then sleep with me to ease my woe;
Grant all, and thy great sex bestow,
I yield my shield and pride!
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