Victoria Police

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Uphold the Might - the official motto of VicPig
All in a days work - choking a woman for not wearing a mask
All in a days work - giving a man a rectal probe or anal, not sure which. Anyway, the police are enjoying it!
All in a days work - gang raping a dissident while digging the boot in
A dissident - the sworn enemy of VicPig
Gagging a dissident at the War Memorial
Caring for the elderly
Not enough social distancing at the Queen Victoria Market; PORK to the rescue!
The Great Leader Dan Andrews wants all the elderly in Quaranteen
The Great Leader Dan Andrews once said "The elderly are nothing but slackers!"

Victoria Police, or more affectionately known by the people of Victoria (Australia) as VicPig, are the beloved personal paramilitary police force of the Great Leader of Victoria (Australia) Dan Andrews. Originally formed in 1853 to extract mining taxes from poor gold miners they were later used to quell a colonial dissident uprising called Eureka Stockade.

In 2011 it was determined that VicPig could not deal with the massive amount of lawless dissident behaviour in the state so a new, tougher branch of VicPig called the Public order response team/Korp (PORK) was created.

History of VicPig[edit]

The Snodgrass Committee was established in early 1852 to "identify the policing needs of the colony" and, following the committee's report in September 1852, VicPig was formally established on 8 January 1853 from an existing colonial police force of 875 men; mostly drunkards, escaped convicts, trained natives and some squatters.

Their first major engagement was the following year, 1854, in support of British soldiers during the events leading up to, and confrontation at, the Eureka Stockade where some miners (mostly Irish), police and soldiers were killed. From a report at the time: 'the troops and Police were under arms, and just at the first blush of dawn they marched upon the camp at Eureka where they unleashed the full power of Her Majesties Royal canon upon the Rebel Scum, and one could see chunks of Paddy Irishman in all directions, ha, ha'.

In 1880, VicPig confronted the Kelly Gang at Glenrowan.The Kelly Gang drew the ire of VicPig for their rude tendency to wear cooking pots on their heads, making the police batons less effective. A shoot-out ensued on 28 June, during which three members of the Kelly Gang were killed and following which Ned Kelly was shot and captured. For the pleasure of the British Governor he was later hung and his cooking pot helmet used by the Governor as his personal bed pan.

Insignia[edit]

In November 1986, VicPig announced the transition of the motto from "Tenez le Potentia" to "Uphold the Might" to better reflect VicPig's new direction as a militarised arm of the Great Leader. This change would start taking place in December 1986.

PORK - The Public Order Response Korp[edit]

The military arm of VicPig is PORK. PORK is relied on to tackle the missions deemed too dangerous for VicPig. Recent examples being:

1. Murderous shoppers at Queen Victoria Markets in Melbourne not socially distancing. VicPig, too fearful to attend called the PORK who responded in full riot gear.
2. Hundreds of dissidents not wearing gags/masks gathered at the Melbourne War Memorial. Once again VicPig, fearful of the overwhelming danger summoned the PORK who responded with their tried and proven methods of Gratuitous Violence.
3. Old ladies were sitting together on a park bench and not socially distancing. PORK surrounded and arrested them, once again saving Melbourne from a potential disaster.

4. Dissidents did not socially distance enough and gathered without a permitted reason. PORK responded by surrounding and negotiating them with Stormtroopers on Horseback and their tried and proven methods of Gratuitous Violence.


See Also[edit]


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