User talk:SysRq/6

This is an ARCHIVED talk page. Please do not edit this, or I WILL kill you.

New Bit

Your talk page was clean and pure. Now it's filthy. Deal with it. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 08:15, May 19

Also, you now have this award:

Golden Urinal

You have been awarded this coveted Golden Urinal in recognition of having completed over 25 in-depth pee reviews. Thanks for the hard work.
Now have a rehydrating drink, and get back to pissing – there are still articles out there that need your help, dammit!

---

Deal with that as well. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:10, May 19

Why gracias. I appreciate your urinal and your filth. Sorry I haven't been on as much, I think I might have to just call it an official hiatus soz I can focus on school stuff. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 22:31 May 21

Rhonda

yes, I am a genius! Rhonda 19:54, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

A truism so undeniable it bears repeating. Thank you for bringing this to my talk page, the other peons who frequent it will undoubtedly find your gospel to be uplifting. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 22:31 May 21

UnSignpost: May 22nd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The edition that's black and white and dead all over

May 22th, 2008 • Issue 4 • Par 6

Oldest Uncyclopedia Article Discovered Renowned Uncyclopedia historian Spangle Gay Glittersprinkles, has discovered the oldest non-Uncyclopedia related article ever written. "The fact that pie was the first article really opened my eyes. It really did. I see it all now: Uncyclopedia, Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia... the construction and future of these wikis have been laid out before me." When asked what he meant, Spang said that, upon reading the first version of the article Pie, the future of Uncyclopedia was revealed to him. The version presently up is "but a pale shadow of what it once was." The fabled first version of the article is, according to Spang and fellow UnArcheologist TheLedBalloon, "The DaVinci Code of Uncyclopedia." One of the oldest contributors, 68.237.62.152, is said to be the creator of the fabled text, but could not be reached for comment... maybe 'cuz he was gettin' laid or somethin' cool like that. "If only the original version had survived!" Said Spang's lead balloon, who gained sentience upon glimpsing the article. "I want to know the significance of the Norris! The secret meaning behind the Wilde! The hidden power of the grue! I want to know the secret of the memes!" "First of all, how did a balloon become an administrator? Oh, right, this is Uncyclopedia." Said long-missing founder Chronarion. "Second of all, the current article you have up there is, although not as mystical, still sorta mystical... For example, look at that quote at the top! CLASSIC Oscar Wilde!" Questions arose as to why the original version was deleted in the first place, but Chronarion, who only made an appearance in one of our writer's drug trips, merely cackled, turned into a tomato, and vanished in a cloud of LULZ!!1. The mystery surrounding Pie continues, and Uncyclopedian historians are still seeking the truth. ...BUY A SUBSCRIPTION TO UNSIGNPOST to see further developments! Following Third Issue, UnSignpost Wins All Sortsa Awards n' Shit At the annual Uncyclopedia Signpost awards banquet, held every year in Dr. Skullthumper's backyard, the Signpost was the clear winner of the night, garnishing all 149 awards in all 144 categories. The press was not invited to the gala, but the Unsignpost has heard that several Uncyclopedia celebrities were at the event. Mike - you know Mike - said, "Oh yeah, we got Chronarion and Save the... whatever it was... We got 'em all! We even had Famine! Even though he still hates us, he still bothered to show up and drunkenly berate the guests! In fact, I think he's still in there, berating the furniture!" Unsignpost writers all agree that it's not pathetic to give yourself an award once in a while. We do our chores! We've been kicked around! Why don't we, the writers, get any recognition? The special boobie-prize, The Feel Okay About Ourselves Award for 2008, was accepted by Cajek on behalf of the writers instead of a paycheck. "Finally I get a god damned award." One of the writers dramatically grabbed the award away onstage and, crying, started screaming at the award itself. "WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU?!? YOU BASTARD!!" Unsignpost is planning to make the awards banquet biweekly, in honor of the fact that the writers are extremely lonely, and just want a way to talk to loads of people without having to listen to "feedback". Newest Uncyclopedia Article Discovered Although searching through relics was fun for the Indiana-Jonesish stylings of more techie-minded Uncyclopedians, the Unsignpost has, all by itself!!, made a new discovery. Yes, the newest article, Jacob Zuma, created just at the time of this writing, is the newest article to date. No! Wait! It's RETARDIS. Wait, no, it's Broomstick. Oh whatever, the point is that we found it, and when it's deleted in three seconds, Unsignpost gets first gloating rights.

Check out these pages! Spang is Gay! The Monkey Spankers Complete Collection In Another Wiki, Far Far Away From our logs: 07:04, May 16, 2008 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked 134.225.176.229 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Uh oh! Don't mess with Grant Whitaker Island! Or whatever it is you said! ) 19:28, March 18, 2007 Famine (Talk | contribs) blocked You're a tool bag (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Come back when you have more tools in your bag) 12:37, May 17, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked You're a tool bag (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (NO U. Also, LOL coming back to blank after a one year ban) Biopic of the Week Example ~ The standard Uncyclopedia user, Example has never read HTBFANJS, has created hundreds of stupid forum topics that make no sense, and has bothered dozens of admins without being annoying enough to be banned. Although he/she/it has no opinions or original ideas, he/she/it has still managed to produce dozens of deleteable articles. Truly, Example is an example for us all... get it? GET IT?! Rorschach Inkblot Response of the Week: "HOW DARE YOU SHOW THAT TO ME!!" (slaps psychologist) "You're just like my two mothers: every Easter they do that to me... WHY???" Reason for Leaving Uncyclopedia of the Week: 8. Not enough users leaving. Horrifying Disease of the Week: The Genital Migration Virus ~ Normally found only in the most remote regions of the Congo, GMV has now "migrated" to the general populous. It can be transferred only by physical or emotional contact. There is, as of yet, no "known" cure for GMV, because Unsignpost's writers are keeping the vaccine secret until the government... well, we've said too much. Retraction of the Week: We at Unsignpost are sorry. In our last issue we stated that "slavery was kewl" and that "the Yankees will never take it away from us." Apparently, we were wr- wro... wwwrrrrr- I can't say it!! Letter of the Week: This week's UnSignpost was brought to you by the letter "U". Because without it, we wouldn't be able to spell "UnSignpost", let alone the sexiest of all U words, "undulate". Reason for staying at Uncyclopedia of the Week: 73. Can't find the door, no thanks to {{welcome}}.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 20:16, 22 May 2008 (UTC)

The word "dildo" 247 times

dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo * Flumpa 23:03, 26 May 2008 (UTC)

Should I even give this a response? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 20:39 May 27

Yes! Respond, old SysRq, you know you want to! - [21:18 27 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

YOUR SIG!! Good, a distraction. What happened to your sig? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 21:22 May 27

I wanted a new one! And it turned out the old one had been cheating on me, anyway. (I may go back to that old one when I get tired of this one) - [21:30 27 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Eh, I went through a similar phase. People thought that sig was too depressing. But this one has gotten rather long. =/ ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 21:48 May 27

Your crying sig? But didn't you make a happy version of the crying sig? Why don't you use that? That one was awesome! - [21:54 27 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

It wasn't crying. It was Ignignokt. And the purple one was Err. Don't you Brits watch ATHF? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 21:59 May 27

No. And it was depressing. Don't you ever do that again, you're so much more cheerful than that. I know you are... *cuddles* -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 05:49, 28 May

I'm very cheerful. And Ignignokt isn't sad. He's mischievous and hilarious and gets into all kinds of shenanigans. What's depressing about a good caper? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 12:42 May 28

I can't believe he said no

Hello SysRq, This was going to be a thanks for making Orian57 attending template but then some bum said no and i didn't get the title so basically i'd still like to thank you for the support. and maybe next time. or when RotM comes round. This may not have been the best picture to use as the man in it stole kidneys for a living. That was Boomers reasoning not my grammer.

I think That's all. Have Fun! MuCal. Orian57|Chat|Chuckle|PEE List|Awarded|UnBlog| 10:53, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Wait...you didn't make attending? That makes no sense. /me rushes off to PEEING ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 12:44 May 28

Its the thought that counts

I'd like to thank you for your vote for Kitty Porn to be highlighted. I have no fancy template to show my appreciation but after all its the thought that counts. If I can ever be of any service just let me know. Thanks again--- Cheapinitreal (talk) 22:22, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Service, huh? Sounds delicious. And it's a great article. I really like it. Although, usually we wait until the article gets featured before passing out the thank yous. Think of it like those douchebags at the Grammys who wait until they win to thank everyone. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 22:38 May 28

UnSignpost: May 29nd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

STOP... SIGNPOST TIME!!

May 29th, 2008 • Issue 5

Uncyclopedia Second Most Active Wikia Site According to local Wikia staffmember Sannse, Uncyclopedia is the second most active site, next to Halopedia. "Yep. People are more interested in Halos than Uncys. I've never really bothered to look at either site, so I'm not sure why one is more active than another, but I'm sure it's because Halopedia is superior." Reporters on-site have looked into the rumors. Apparently, Halopedia is in fact not about halos, but instead is an entire wiki... devoted to a video game. "Oh lord, this is embarrassing," said Master Chief, the main character of said video games. "I thought I could keep this under wraps for a while longer, but you people in the press are like fucking vultures. WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?!" Apparently Halopedia's nearest competitor, Uncyclopedia, is some kind of "humor wiki" meant to induce laughter. "Uncyclopedia's laughter is nothing compared with ours," said Evilpedia's founder, User:Dr. Doom, "Our laughter will ring all throughout Wikia, and then: THE WORLD!". Other statistics include the nerdiest wiki and Furwiki, the most disturbing wiki. Uncyclopedia is neither the largest wiki (Wookiepedia), nor the most active (Halopedia), but it does come very close to first in both categories. Who wants to be first place anyway? Nobody wants to win all the time! Like Unsignpost's father used to say: "You learn more from losing than winning!" and really, that's all that matters! ...AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! BASTAAAARRRDDSSS!!! Following Fourth Issue, UnSignpost Does Lame Clip Show After having not seen his boss for a few days, Cajek, or as his friends call him, "Cuntjek", and his team of writers have been forced to rely on past issues and a clip show in article form. "Don't look at us that way!" said that one guy we were talking about. "A few days ago, when Skull was around, I was only editor of the fetish section, now I'm in charge of the whole thing. Jeez, I hope Skull is okay..." The lame clip show was said to be almost entirely from the first issue, when the Unsignpost was "cool", and before the fetish section took over the whole paper. According to reports to this newsroom, the clip show article included the "weekbox of the week" from issue 1 that instructed Cajek and Skull to slather humor juice on an anonymous reader, and the "Goatse Challenging Gap" from issue 2. "Oh shit, what else we got?" Carjack screamed across the newsroom. As of this issue, the huge portrait of Dr. Skullthumper has been prayed to for nigh two weeks since his mysterious disappearance. Fnoodle, who usually serves coffee to the writers (albeit very angrily), has gone on a quest to find his former master. So far, no word of Skullthumper's whereabouts have reached the press. Serious: Dr. Skullthumper is a good friend, and I see him as an outgoing, clever guy, and I'm sure he will succeed in whatever he chooses to do while he's gone. -Cajek Letters to the Editor I am writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is the wish of God for you to help me and my family, God almighty will bless and reward you abundantly. My family and I are true Christian's and worship's God truthfully. I got your contact through Internet during my research on some one who could help us. I am a female student from University of Nigeria, Lagos. I am suitable yrs old. I'd like any person who can be caring, loving and home oriented. I will love to have a long-term relationship with you and to know more about you. I would like to build up a solid foundation with you in time coming if you can be able to help me in this transaction. Well, my father died earlier two months ago and left my mother I and my junior brother behind. He was a king, which our town citizens titled him before his death. I was a Princess to him and I and my brother are the only people who can take Care of his wealth now because my mother is not literate enough to know all my father's wealth behind. He left up to USD $27,350,000.00 dollars (TWENTY SEVEN MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND US DOLLAR) with a security company, and I don't know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad, so that my father's kindred will not take over what belongs to my father and our family, which they were planning to do without my present because I am a female as stated by our culture in the town. That is why I felt happy when I saw your contact which I strongly believe that by the grace of God, you will help me secure and invest this money. I thereby need your help in bringing the box contaning the money out from the security company, based on your reply I will furnish you with more details on how we can proceed. I am ready to pay 10% of the total amount to you if you help us in securing this money and another 10% interest of Annual Income to you, for handling this business for us, which you will strongly have absolute control over. If you can handle this project sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this fund, kindly reach me and I will let you know the next step to take towards actualizing this transaction as quickly as possible. Please, note that this transaction is 110% risk free. I look forward hearing from you soonest. Yours sincerest, Miss Lady Princess Irreverent Dear Princess, We at the Unsignpost are interested in your offer, but have no money. Could you please send us some? You could be in on an offer to make up to $27,237,84661 monies! Your Sincerestly, The Unsignpost.

Check out these pages! A Horrible Vision of the Future A Horrible Vision of a Puppet-Based Future Chinese Oscar Wilde and the Crappy Translation Somewhat Controversial Uncyclopedia:Wikipedia From our logs: 15:46, May 24, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Lil selina (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Hahahaha, it's funny 'cause now there's no content on those pages!!!!) 23:58, May 25, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HA) 08:38, May 27, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.36.41.10 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (love men FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK F) Biopic of the Week <insert name here> ~ Yes, we at UnSignpost have decided to do a biopic on YOU. YOU came to Uncyclopedia two weeks ago with little more than a dream and 45 bucks (or 30 pounds, if you're not American). YOU are what makes Uncyclopedia The Place To Be according to Home and Garden magazine. Without YOU, we wouldn't have that amazing article on stoats you wrote in 15 minutes. God bless you, {{USERNAME}}! UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: Bishy Barnabee. One for the coccinellidae fans amongst you - it's the loveable Ladybug! While the rest of the UK distances themselves from America by calling it a Ladybird, in Norfolk, they distance themselves from reality with this rather quaint expression. Slip it into conversation and impress your friends with your new-found linguistic diversity! (Why is it called that? Fuck knows, they're mad in Norfolk, quite, quite mad!) Unsignpost Founder of the Week: ...Uh, that one guy... you remember, right? He had a "doctor" theme going on? He left for a while recently? Well, anyway, he's busy with college stuff for now, and won't be back for a month or so. As soon as we find out his name, we'll get back to you. Animal of the Week: Stoat ~ Mentioned 12 times in this issue of Unsignpost, and at least one time in the Biopic of the fifth edition of the Unsignpost, the stoat was one of the largest carnivorous dinosaurs on Earth. Weighing in at 5 grams, the stoat has made its impression on human evolution, not only by eating humans but in other, far more disturbing ways. Template of the Week: The bad lyric generator ~ Out with the boys, testing my virility The booze and the music, arousing my curiosity - Saxon Last Minute Box of the Week: First of all, let me just say that we at the Unsignpost didn't plan this box very well. Oh sure, it has nice wikicodes on it that make it colorful, but really it's just smoke and mirrors. Not to discredit our tireless staff! They work round the clock to ensure... oh who am I kidding! They're such fucking MOOCHERS. GET OFF MY COUCH, YOU RETARDS! And now for a week box more to YOUR liking: Pole Dancer of the Week: Sparkle ~ Working as a pole dancer five nights a week at The Wink and Tickle down the street, Unsignpost's senior medical correspondent enjoys suing because of a "hostile work environment" and "tickling". Soon to be promoted to senior editor, this little number is distracting EVERYONE in the newsroom!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 03:01, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

If it weren't for these blasted short front limbs...I'd getcha.

On UnBlog

Hey! SysRq, I noticed that you made a comment on my "UnBlog". Thanks! comments and feedback are always apreciated. Also, if you ever think something on it may be UnBook worthy let me know, either there or on my talk page. And do you like my new sig that looks nothing like Yettie's old one? oh and what do you think to the thing me and him are working on incidentally? Basically we're shooting for a place where people can do improvisational comedy, the idea comming from HV's talk page vandalism. Well anyway, thanks again.Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 21:40 29 May 2008

Hey, no problem. I really liked that piece, and I think with expansion it could make for one mighty decent UnBook. As for your UnProvise thing, I'll probably be getting involved with that when it's up. Or, you could let me know if there's anything I can do to help you guys speed up the process. I'd love to help, just say the word and I'm there. It seems like a great idea. We just gotta get Modus over there.

Oh yeah, and fuck your sig. It sucks. Majorly. =D ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 21:45 May 29

Oh, that reminds me...don't read that link Orian just gave you. Ever. Please? ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 29/05 22:21

Alright. I already did, but I'll go ahead and un-read it. Also, I'm a T-rex. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 22:24 May 29

Oh my god! He's a T-Rex! It's like Jurassic Park all over again! Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 22:26 29 May 2008

It's okay, although I could eat you in two bites, I have these short stubby front appendages. It's difficult to even type; I have to lean forward and swing my torso from side to side, as I cannot make contact with the keyboard with both hands at the same time. What's really bad about being a T-rex is having such sensitive lizard parts. Please...be gentle with my lizard parts. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 22:35 May 29

Thankies

You helped me fixify that code snippet on my new project page. *sigh* I'm a bit wikirusty, and I'm at work, so I can't focus on uncyc... *bigger sigh* I could use a cuddle... -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 00:40, 30 May

No problem kiddo. =D And I would offer to snuggle you, but as you may or may not be aware, I am a T-Rex now and have very short front limbs which are rather ill-suited for snuggles. My apologies. Also, ice cream. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 00:50 May 30

I tried that once and I lost an arm! Run! He'll eat you! oh I don't believe we've met, Luvvy, hello! Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 00:56 30 May 2008

Don't worry, my baby brother's an Allosaurus, and I've survived those. *hugs T-Rex* I also know your neck doesn't bend enough to allow for your teeth to grab me if I'm close enough... ;) -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 01:04, 30 May

That's true what they say about love. Love will find a way. I'll find a way to make this whole T-Rex thing work. And I just may get an article out of it. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 01:35 May 30

Love? What's that? -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 01:58, 30 May

Love is being a T-Rex. =D ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 01:59 May 30

I thought it was my custom, made to measure corset and high heeled leathere bootseys... :( *drool...* bootseys... -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 02:10, 30 May

Colbertja Star

Thanks for all your help man. Dig the essay too. --THINKER 04:49, 30 May 2008 (UTC)

No problem. I just wanted to answer everyone's questions once and for all. I love that article, I hate that all them IPs and trolls don't get the joke because it's such a clever joke. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 12:58 May 30

Image

Dunno if you noticed, but someone who isn't me or Ljlego finally got around to doing you an image for the High School article. It's on UN:PIC if you still want it. I think it's a good job, myself. Just thought I'd mention it as I'm gonna archive it fairly soon! ;-) Oh, and it's been, like, ages since I've been on this talk page. How's being a T Rex working out for you? I tried being a pterodactyl once, but it didn't last. The fact that most of my regular diet was extinct probably had something to do with it. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:37, May 30

How much do you enjoy....

....being whored to? This question is for one million pounds. If you get it right you're going home with the money, if not, there's a nice, friendly vat of sulphuric acid awaiting your naked masculine bits. - [17:22 30 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

...One million pounds of what? I'm a dumb American, I need REAL MONEY. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 17:25 May 30

Oh, I'm sorry, I meant to say one million pounds of lard. There, happy? Now answer the damn question before I get my gun (oh wait, I'm doing the wrong stereotype!) - [17:28 30 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

I was going to say yes, but you edit conflicted me. Bastard. Eh, whore it anyways. I need the lard. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 17:31 May 30

Who said anything about me giving you the lard? Eh? - [17:32 30 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Bet you didn't expect me to whore that! - [17:33 30 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Not really, no. Although I would prefer it if you subst'd that tharr template so as to not spew code all over my beautiful talk page. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 17:40 May 30

You mean not subst'd? The reason we/I subst it is because it's generally used for targeting n00bs, and if we subst it they think it's a sort of personal message. Of course, it isn't, I just press a button next to the "watch" tab. Isn't that swindless? - [17:46 30 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Yeah, that's what I meant. Whatever, it's cool. Don't worry about it. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 17:48 May 30

Hey, don't go over there, I can't hear you from that side of the page! And while I'm in a whoring mood, I still looking for someone to review my Wikipedia Main Page article. So far I've only got one slightly mysterious comment from Javascap. I would be delighted if you could do me the honour, indeed the honour of reviewing it? - [17:51 30 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Sure. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 17:55 May 30

Join The CMC! Make Your Inner Cow Happy!

Moo, SysRq!

What is it about cows that gets us all hot and bothered? Where do cows come from? What are cows?

These are the questions that drive the Cow Moo Cult and its brethren, who are very, VERY interested in cows and cow by-products.

The CMC is devoted not only to cows, but to helping Uncyclopedia through general acts of goodness and through motivating people with cow-treats and the like.

So, SysRq, why not join the CMC? It's free (unless you count virginity as money) and it's fun (and it's full of clichés)! You'll get a pretty template for your userpage and a nice title for your signature! What could be better? Sign Up Now!

Double moos from your cowy friend,
YTTE

Hey.

Hi. -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:49, 30 May

Yo. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 17:50 May 30

Hey. *gets ignored* Hey....? - [17:52 30 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Sup? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 17:56 May 30

Hey, Yettie, SysRq and Chris. whats up? Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 17:57 30 May 2008

Why don't we have a bit of an orgy? Sound good to you? - [17:58 30 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

don't flatter yourself, yettie. SysRq and Chris are welcome, but you? naw. Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 17:59 30 May 2008

No, YTTE, I say we have a super duper mega orgy. Not just a bit of one. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 18:00 May 30

No if Orian doesn't want me it's fine! Have all the fun without me! I'll go and cry/whip myself in the corner. - [18:01 30 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

No, Yettie, you're impossible to love. Go home. And what did you want anyway, chris? or were you looking for an orgy and a dramatic break up? me and Yettie can do those rather well. Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 18:03 30 May 2008

That works. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 18:06 May 30

*whoosh crack* goes the whip *whoosh crack* - [18:08 30 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Yeah. 'Sup? -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:31, 30 May

Self harm, the biblical way. - [18:42 30 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Your blood is really turning me on. Choke me while I cut my dick off. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 18:52 May 30

Okay... *chokes SysRq* - [18:54 30 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

This is getting a little creepy. Can we talk about vaginas or something? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 18:58 May 30

Yeah, butt out guys. Can't you see I'm trying to reconnect with my lover? -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:00, 30 May

Sorreeee You could have just ignored me in the first place, it would have done a lot of people a lot of good! - [19:02 30 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Yes, come over here, Chris. Come over here by daddy. That's right, it's okay to like it. It's perfectly natural. Now just close your eyes... ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 19:07 May 30

*watches fascinated* Why is Chris cleaning up the dirty dishes, for you, SysRq? - [19:09 30 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

IRC? -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:11, 30 May

U cum nao, I maek u roflwaffles! lulz. ir funneh! -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:19, 30 May

Be there in a sec. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 19:20 May 30

MrN is whoring

I just wondered if... Per chance... If at all possible.. I could enlist your expert opinion to judge this? Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Gay (again). Am I grovelling enough? No? Well, what do you want me to do for you? I'm not sucking your cock if that's what you are suggesting. Anyway, obviously if you are "all tied up", that's cool. Cajek reviewed this last time, and I thought you might be rather qualified on the subject... MrN 21:37, May 30

I guess. Although I already have one other review queued up so it may be a day or two. I got a lot of free time tonight so I'll try to get the other one done and then I'll get to you. Also, oral sex. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 22:23 May 30

No problem Sir. Looks like another of our great reviewers is going to take care of it. I just thought you might be able to give exactly the perspective I was looking for, but Orion will do a great review I'm sure. :-) MrN 00:29, Jun 1

If you want to, resubmit it when he's finished and I'll give you another opinion. Although I wouldn't want anyone other than our resident turd burglar to review such an article. (And of course I mean "turd burglar" in the nicest way possible.) ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 00:48 Jun 1

Thanks. I worked on this page a fair bit with Fag a while back, so it will be interesting to see what Orion has to say... MrN 00:55, Jun 1

Uncyclopedia needs more queers. We're running out of queers. What should we do? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 00:59 Jun 1

Are you proposing we start having sex with each other in-order to increase the straight-gay ratio? I thought I explained that I was not sucking your cock under any circumstances. Maybe it would work if you sucked mine though? I'm just crossing that whore paragraph out and offering no alternative. MrN 01:02, Jun 1

I want to see a gay rap song. "Nigga, gimme dat dick!" Perhaps I'll make that an UnTune. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 01:05 Jun 1

Well UnTunes:Be Gay is awesome (I think) and it's not doing too great on VFH right now. Must say I'm surprised at that. Maybe it's not actually that good and I'm just dizzy to have actually listened to Modus sing. MrN 01:09, Jun 1

Yeah, but that makes me picture sexy white people being gay. I'm talking about tough gangstas being gay. Besides, I can sing. And I can rap. So I would make it sound, I dunno, good. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 01:13 Jun 1

Well get to it then Sir! I think you would have a tough time on VFH no matter how good it was for an un-tunes, but I say go for it! MrN 01:18, Jun 1

Eh, it's more for shiggles. I already have an article that's pretty much guaranteed for VFH. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 01:22 Jun 1

OK, can I take you up on your offer of a second opinion on Gay??? Orion did a great review which I have discussed here Talk:Gay#Another Pee Review after some more edits and he has given me a great perspective from the point of view of a gay person. I was wondering if you could maybe give yours? I'm actually right on the edge of giving up on this page. Basically Orion thinks there is no way this is VFH, and he's probably right. I have been slaving on this page for months now, and I'm not sure I can do a lot better. It's meant to be how it is now for various reasons which will make sense if you are able to get to the talk page. Basically, I have been trying to write a version of this article which will not really get vandalised much because it insults everyone equally. This page has had many thousands of edits, and maybe I'm best just giving up. If you could give it a quick once over and give me some scores I would be very grateful. I'm not no rush whatsoever, and have not even bothered to create a new entry on Pee Review. I really just want your opinion, so I did not think it worth bothering anyone else. Cheers. MrN 20:33, Jun 1

hi

FUC* U.YAY.Baseball16 22:25, 30 May 2008 (UTC)

YAY! I mean, wut? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 22:26 May 30

Quality Control

Can you believe the shit they're putting on the front page these days? About time. Congrats and stuff. -OptyC Sucks! CUN13:25, 31 May

/me reads today's featured article Heeey, that's offensive! My dad is a marine and his dad actually was in Vietnam! I'm going to go vandalize that author's userpage right now! ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 13:27 May 31

Personally I think that article's a disgrace, it should have been VFD'd along time ago. :-D - [13:50 31 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

It's not too late. Wouldn't it be something if an article was featured and then VFD'd on the same day? And both noms were successful? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 14:04 May 31

Now that would be some awesome shit. - [14:08 31 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

LET'S DO IT! Write a terrible article that could somehow get featured, but not so good that we would miss it if it was VFD'd. Now that's a challenge. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 14:11 May 31

Sounds harder than writing just any old article that'll get featured. - [14:21 31 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

I know, anyone could do that. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 14:24 May 31

Even, like the worst user on Uncyclopedia...what's his name...oh...yeah...<insert name here>. UnProvise Is Now Practically Complete - [14:25 31 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Inorite? But at least <insert name here> didn't right some stupid thing about crazy vets. -OptyC Sucks! CUN14:28, 31 May

Since when did I write an article about crazy vets? Besides, you'll never guess what! I broke <insert name here>'s mum's virginity! She is one old bitch. - [14:30 31 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

.......Dad? -OptyC Sucks! CUN14:31, 31 May

I hav 2 dadys. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 14:32 May 31

And Opty has none, since he was adopted. And his mum was impregnated by a robot... - [14:35 31 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

...What? Now you're being silly. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 14:39 May 31

Why do you have to say such hurtful things daddy? I HATE YOU YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN! /me goes to cultivate a crack addiction. -OptyC Sucks! CUN14:42, 31 May

You've got to prune that thing, if you want it to flower, ya know. - [14:44 31 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

I thought he was talking about bootycrack. Then I realized it was flowers. =/ ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 14:46 May 31

Hey...

...SissyRq, and how are you, SissyRq? It feels like we haven't talked for days, but I know it's only hours, SissyRq. As you may or may not have seen, SissyRq, UnProvise is nicely up and running. I remember, from somewhere, SissyRq, you offering any help we rq-uired, SissyRq. Well you'll notice a little advert/commercial on the front page of UnProvise, which reads:

YTTE and Orian are looking for one (1) regular contributor to Uncyclopedia to help them keep UnProvise in order. 
This means updating the UnProvise members list, checking all the UnProvises regularly, whoring 
UnProvise and generally helping to keep everything in order. If you'd like to help out, contact YTTE on his talkpage.

I was wondering if you, SissyRq, would wish to fill this position? - [17:27 31 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

If not, I've got another position you can fill... -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:34, 31 May

What sort of position? Like a janitor or somethin'? - [17:37 31 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Frlz. I could get into that. But gimmeh a week or so, yeah? I'm about to become very inactive, what with SATs coming up next week. After that, once I get accustomed to UnProvise and all, I'll be more than happy to fill the position. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 19:05 May 31

Your status template

The status template is great. I want one too. The only thing that could make it perfect would be if it automatically told whether you were logged in or not. (It doesn't, does it?)

Your status template

The status template is great. I want one too. The only thing that could make it perfect would be if it automatically told whether you were logged in or not. (It doesn't, does it?) {{subst:nosubst:User:The Linkifier/sig}} 17:57, 31 May 2008 (UTC)

No it doesn't and he stole my idea as well! - [18:00 31 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

No it doesn't, I edit it when I log in and such. Right now, it says I'm offline when I really just got on to check messages for a sec before going off to do some very uninteresting stuff. And I got the idea from YTTE. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 19:06 May 31

Your status template

It sucks. OS?

No seriously, I just got done spending 45 minutes on your pee review only to accidently erase the whole stupid thing when I meant to post it. Good lord I'm fail. I probably won't get a chance to do it again till monday, so if you can't wait that long I won't be offended. I'm sorry I let you down man, can we still be friends? -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:42, 31 May

Your status template

...Has enough fucking headers already.

@ Chris: That's cool, buddeh. That's actually happened to me before. Except I was working on my review for like an hour and a half, and it was of this really long article. Took me forever to redo it and the resulting review wasn't nearly as good. Shit happens, don't worry about it. I can stand to wait until Monday for Cajek to do it. Thanks anyways, at least you spent some time on it and put in the honest effort. Sodidyoulikeit? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 23:19 May 31

Come on be fair

I can't even type the title! You can hardly expect me to contribute to that! I took advantage of my brief holiday to read your article. The above one of the name I am unable to pronounce... I actually really like it. My criticism would be that you slip around in styles a little. In some places all teh LoLz r like teh funs and stuffs... Other sections take the tone of a more thoughtful and diligent encyclopaedic contributor. I would suggest that to make it better go with more of teh Lolz style. But PLEASE! I can't be seen to be contribution to this page. Whatever tiny amount of credibility I may have left is seeping away as we speak... What if UU saw me editing this page? He might never left me have back the pants I lent him last weak. It's a bit messy to (not the pants). I guess in this style that's tricky as you obviously don't want it to look too well done. Anyway! Give me a better whore dammit! MrN 02:14, Jun 1

Iight, but keep in mind that I wrote that article before I was funny. =/ I'll go put another article up on your page for you, it's one I was hoping would have been my first feature. Also written a little while ago. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 02:34 Jun 1

Actually I rather like it. With some work I think it could be really good. I'm not sure how many other articles use the same idea though... MrN 02:43, Jun 1

Pee? *gulp*

Sorry, that was unnecessary and illegal gulp. Anyway how's that piss coming along (the one you were doing for/on me)? I don't sound pushy, do I? I don't want to sound pushy, I'm just interested to know how far through you are...Oh gawd, I'm not being pushy... - [17:34 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Let's run down mah schedule.

Saturday: Run up north with Daddy to where I'll be taking SATs next week. Come home and take a full length practice test. Bathe my dog.

Sunday: Get up in the morning and work until five. Get to the airport to pick up my Abuela.

Today: Go to school and then go to a Cross Country meeting for next year. Get home and do what the fuck I want. Tuba lesson later.

So you fit in there just nicely for today. I've got it, don't worry. There's always a place for you in my heart. And yeah, I have been editing, but just whenever I can. I wanna give you a comprehensive review for that one because it's a really complex article, and this afternoon is the first time I'll really have time to just sit down and crank it out. Sorry for making you wait. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 17:41 Jun 2

Busy schedule there! And I'm sure the worth will be wait it... Er, the wait will be worth it. - [17:51 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

I've also got to get a workout in. Gonna go pump some men and watch some iron...I mean pump some iron and watch some men. Wait... ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 17:55 Jun 2

Sounds like a fun load of whole! It enjoy. - [17:59 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Haha. Load. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 18:03 Jun 2

Toad? - [18:05 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

LOL gay sex? <---that really oughta work... -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:40, 2 Jun

Someone should write an article about Blatant. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 18:43 Jun 2

I guess...if we can't find anyone with talent. -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:52, 2 Jun

Woot, someone else agrees with me!

“Leddy should have won last month.”

~ SysRq on UotM

Glad I'm not the only one who thought that Led's workload deserved him the award last month (not that I voted for Led, but that's the trouble with voting on the first every month). Good luck on those billions of awards you're nommed for! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 2/06 18:49

I nommed for billions of awards too! But I'm only going to win one... But maybe the other two next month? Yay! - [18:52 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Not if I can help it. =P -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:55, 2 Jun

Damn it, I deserve RotM and possibly even UotM as well and you can never take that away from me! /me sobs patriotically - [18:58 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

I only just realized about an hour ago that I was nommed for all those awards. I still suspect {{USERNAME}} every time I go to those pages. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 19:40 Jun 2

Wow you typed it out the long way. Clever people just write {{USERNAME}}. I so deserve so many awards. More to the point you deserve a fair number of the awards you've been nommed for. - [19:42 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Why thank you, YTTE, for thinking an unclever person like me could stand a chance of winning any awards. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 19:46 Jun 2

You don't have to be unclever to unwin awards. - [19:49 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

But I am. And I will. And so will you. And they did. And no she didn't. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 19:53 Jun 2

She didn't? IT'S OVER, THEN, SISSYRQ! OUR RELATIONSHIP IS OVER! /me runs off in tears and then scampers back so I can say something or another So will I? Meh... I'll win UNPotM, but that's hardly an achievement at the moment. Next month I want-age to win-age UotM and RotM...but it probably won't happenzzz. And how dare you talk in such short sentences! - [19:58 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Do you ever stop shagging everyone else? seriously Yettie: Hv, Cajek and now Sissy! who next huh? U.U.? What is it you don't like about me!? /Sniff I thought you loved me!? /cries again. IT'S OVER! YOU HEAR ME!? IT'S OVER. FOR GOOD THIS TIME!!!
Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 20:05 2 June 2008

I like shagging the sheep. I like it! - [20:07 2 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

I've done it with a sheep before. I think I complained more than the sheep did. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 20:28 Jun 2

Pees

Platinum Pisser

Rejoice! Your colossal achievement of completing over 50 in-depth pee reviews has been recognised with the provision of this luxury micturitional accessory. You will be the envy of your friends. Or you would be, if you hadn't ignored them for ages while you were reviewing.

---

You deserve this. You may not be sure about the overall number of reviews, but I'm fairly confident that's 50 in-depth as I checked most of 'em! Therefore, you are entitled to this. I still don't think I have to create an award for 100 in-depth reviews just yet though, do I? Prove me wrong... --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:32, Jun 3

Sweetness juice. Thanks UU. I'll try to keep up the reviews as best I can what with SATs coming up and all. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 12:47 Jun 3

UnProvise

Hey mate, any chance of me getting involved in that High School Unprovise thing of yours? Looks like fun, just thought I should ask first...BlueYonder 14:01, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Go for it. In the future, you don't have to ask. UnProvise is about being spontaneous, feel free to jump into any UnProvises you want. We want to get more users involved in this little project so it'll grow. See you there, buddy! ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 15:53 Jun 3

But if this is your first time, BlueYonder, I would have a quick read of this and then a read of this. - [15:56 3 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Yeah, all that stuff. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 16:01 Jun 3

Scribble wiki

Yes we do have non sysop users who are currently being told about the new name http://everything.scribblewiki.com but the NHS on still stands. Users decided that they didnt like the name so we changed it. You can create pages about anything that you want and also vandalise anything that you like. Steward2007 17:05, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Y'know, you don't see many VFH thanks templates about these days, do you?

Don't care. I still use 'em. Here's one now:

*pop* Yeah, er, thanks for *pop* your vote for *pop* that... oh lord, her whole dress is made of... *popop* *pop*

Cheers Sys. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:59, Jun 4

How dare you!

LololololololololrolfomgwtflolololollmaolololololololruleZlolololololohahahahahlolololomglolololrolflollmaowtflmaolmaololololololwtftscwtflolololololomfglolololololwtfomglolololtjsflolololololol, RUL3Z!!!!111!!!!!1111!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!11111111 Now there's a userbox. - [17:59 4 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

How dare you come to my userpage and spit out such a jarble of letters just to link me to a stupid userbox? How dare you? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 19:05 Jun 4

How dare you call my userbox stupid! How dare you!!?!?!? - [19:53 4 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

UnSignpost: June 5th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That DOESN'T Think It's Better Than You!

June 5th, 2008 • Issue 6

Sixth Issue Relies on Guest Writers For the sixth issue of Unsignpost, guest writers from outside the fold have been chosen to write a bunch of stupid crap. Among them are the illiterate administrator Zombiebaron and reformed drug mule ThePaleOne. The community's outcries were heard soon afterwards, probably. Jack Phoenix, a respected Wikia staff member, said of one of the articles "Nobody cares about Cajek trolling Wookiepedia anymore. In fact, I'm kind of ashamed of Uncyclopedia for doing something like this. It's like I'm at a well-written version of ED." The Unsignpost staff, full of miscreants and malcontents, hung its collective head in shame and went to the corner for a sit down. Qua, who wanted to be in this issue of Unsignpost to whore his userpage, issued a statement at the press conference located at his Mayan temple: "Why didn't they do an injoke article on the fifth issue? Am I the only one who cares? Where have the lols gone, my friends? Where have the lols gone?" In response, the Unsignpost sent a secret "Fifth Issue Of Unsignpost" article directly to Qua, where it will be housed until his death. The Unsignpost writers, who have had a cut in pay since the leaving of Dr. Skullthumper, are now relying on the work of random people found on IRC for their inspiration. We now present to you an article in the Unsignpost by somebody else about a guy who works at the Unsignpost... /me headdesk [note: "me" refers to the entire Unsignpost staff] Wookiepedia Too Cool For Cajek by ThePaleOne It has been reported on #uncyclopedia that Cajek, our resident editor, has been banned from the "Star Wars Wiki", Wookieepedia. There has been an outrage in the star wars community, as they find Cajek to be a charming and respectable fellow [ed note: Cajek did NOT write this!]. Even us here at the the UnSignPost believe so, ( but don't tell Cajek that! ) [ed note: I SAW THAT! YOU'RE OFF THE CASE!] I spoke to one Cajek fan, Darth Vader, to see what kind of impact this has had on the community. "It really is tragic to see him get banned," said a distraught Vader, with tears dripping from his helmet, "I just don't understand it! How can there be no Cajek?! We've seen his greatest and sometimes his somewhat lameness. But we will be EPIC FAIL without him" Vader's emotionally wrecked state shows the devastation caused by the Wookieepedia senate's unruly vote. I just hope Palpatine wasn't behind this, I voted for him too! I sat down with another fan, Jar Jar Binks, to discuss this radical move. "Mesa think its outrageous! Mesa no like Wookieepedia afta this! This beein worse than <insert name here>'s bombad faggotry!" And indeed it is. Personally, I denounce the Leftist Bias of Wookieepedia and their slander against Cajek. What did he ever do to them right? Personally, I hope Something really bad happens to those immature, pubescent, oxycotin sniffing children. In other news, 52% of Uncyclopedia agrees that Cajek should be set on fire on Sunday's Luau against 45% for drowned in his own discharge. 3% were undecided. Random Mumblings: "Monster" By Zombiebaron Alright. So. This is going to be cool. Because. You see. Therefore. Once upon a time. There was this really big house. Inside the house was a monster. Oh. This is a newspaper. Well, in that case, the monster was operating a grow op. Right. And the monster was named Skullthumper (because this is his fault, really, when you deconstruct it down to the last proton). Yeah!!!! But. Going onwards and upwards. The cops busted the grow op. It was fucking huge, man. THIS IS NEWS. IN THE UNSIGNPOST.

Check out these pages! Unprovise: Content free content anybody can edit on the content free website anybody can edit, now with extra do-whatever-the-hell-you-want. Voatse.cx User:Under user/SparkGallery The Uncyclopedia Genome Project From our logs: 12:50, May 28, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Benhagerty (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (KILL EVERY FIRSTBORN SON) 01:36, June 1, 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.156.118.234 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You're still at the stage where you afflict pain on the girl you secretly like, aren't you?) 06:03, May 31, 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 218.186.12.8 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah BATMAN!) 18:16, May 31, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Don't do that to Zombiebaron!) 19:25, May 31, 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Don't do that to Dr. Skullthumper!) 19:47, May 31, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 9000 seconds ‎ (Don't do that to TKF!) May "Of the Month" Award Winners Dr. Skullthumper ~ WotM ~ Oh! Gee! Right when he wins Writer of the fucking Month (WotfM), he abandons us! Well, *sniff*, good riddens! GO THUMP SOMEONE ELSE'S SKULL, THEN! *sniff* SEE IF I CARE! Cheapinitreal ~ NotM ~ Someone who indulges in Kitty Porn was BOUND to win best new contributor. We at Unsignpost are especially proud of this little noob, someone who will follow recent up-and-comers such as NoTimeToRevert and Beatboxing Jim. Heerenveen ~ UotM ~ Every nerd deserves his/her day in the sun. That day, and that sun, belong to "Hv". You will see him scampering around, voting, deleting, and peeing. Say hi to him once in a while, dammit! Sawblade5 ~ Ugotm ~ Sawblade5 is best described as a person obsessed with Gobshite of the month. Ever since this writer can remember, Sawblade5 (but not his younger brothers, Sawblade3 or 2) has been nominating users for banning or gobshiting. Finally, the gobshite queen has been crowned! Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Spanish Nobody Cares and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "ivver sin a cuddy lowp a yat?" ~ Now we're moving into the realms of supremely useful English. The delightful Cumbrians use this regularly to ask each other "ever seen a donkey jump a gate?" I think you'll agree, there is hardly a conversation that goes by where this expression wouldn't come in handy! MrN9000's VFD vote/nomination of the week: Wet socks ~ Kerkill: Two year-old sockcruft. --Dexter111344

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 05:19, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

Again?

What is that, two in one week? You're on fire! Moar congrats and stuff. ur still teh ghey. -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:48, 5 Jun

That's true, I do love the penis. But I already have an idea for another article. Let's see, I got three days to get it up to make it a hat trick for the week. I think I have work today but I'll try to get working on it when I can. And thanks, I try. I'm pretty pleased that it got featured so fast...and at 171% health last I checked. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 16:35 Jun 5

Releasimification

I actually have two pee reviews for this article and as you can see, hyperbole actually seemed to like it. But I don't think I should've nominated it yet, so I agree with you on the against vote---Bobofosho2 21:26, 7 June 2008 (UTC)

It should not have been nommed at all. Please link me to the review, I'm not familiar with Hyperbole as a reviewer. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 21:43 Jun 7

Found the review, and a score like that should indicate to you that the article is in no shape to be nommed. Featurable articles generally hold scores of 40+. I don't see where you're getting that Hyperbole "actually seemed to like it" at all, despite the fact that he gave you an excellent review. I would say that he gave you some great advice on fixing up this article. Try doing some major work on it, using his review as a guide, and then put it up for another review. I'd be more than happy to do the second review. Then, you can use the second review to see where you're at as far as getting a feature. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 02:35 Jun 8

I saw that against vote, SysRq. Poor form, dude.   Le Cejak • <2:37, 08 Jun 2008>

Yes, I know I'm a total hypocrite after giving a whole long ranty thing about being mean to noobs and all. I guess I should apologize and shit, huh? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 02:40 Jun 8

Yeah, you should.   Le Cejak • <2:42, 08 Jun 2008>

Remember when I told you that after I write an article, I still feel the same way I did when I was really new?: really scared that people won't like it? Against votes should never be taken lightly: they really hurt, and make the writer feel like an idiot (I've had more against votes than you've had for votes, I think). Good job for apologizing, SysRq.   Le Cejak • <3:10, 08 Jun 2008>

Here's your chance for a real apology, if you want.   Le Cejak • <3:13, 08 Jun 2008>

No Hard Feelings, Man

It's cool. thanks for the apology. but, your correct on the fact that i shouldn't have nommed the article. maybe in ten years it will be ready for VFH. Cheers or whatever.-Bobofosho2 16:14, 8 June 2008 (UTC)p.s. go ahead and DOOO the 2nd pee review

I'll get it done at some point today, note that my status is On Standby because I'm gonna be kind of off and on. But you'll have a review by the end of the day, I promise. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 16:21 Jun 8

No rush on the pee review.-Bobofosho2 23:52, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

Working on it right now. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 00:01 Jun 9

OK

After seeing Gay get apparently "even worse" on Pee Review, I think I'm inspired enough to come back. *stretches* aah, it's been a long time! --F♥g! VFH·CUN·MP·nom·nom

Hey, I was totally guaranteed RotM while I was away and didn't get it :P --F♥g! VFH·CUN·MP·nom·nom

OHMYGODOHMYGODYOUREBACK!!!! Dude, we missed you. However, in your absence, we decided to nominate another homosexual instead since you weren't active and such. Start reviewing again and next month is yours. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 15:09 Jun 10

Oh "Homosexual" is it now? What happened to Turd Burglar, SissyRq? Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 15:12 10 June 2008

How about butter dumpster? Anyways, you should watch your ass (literally, watch your ass) now that we have another fag running around this wiki. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 15:16 Jun 10

Butter dumpster? ...Not sure I get that one, sissy. ...Butter Dumpster... Oh god! Sissy! Oh well at least you're inventive with your euphomisms. Oh and hello, Fag (if you're listening), nice to finally sorta meet you! And, though I marked gay slightly lower than before, it was more because I think there could/should be more done with it rather than it being hugely worse. Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 15:30 10 June 2008

Haha. Hugely. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 15:39 Jun 10

If you were Yettie I'd probably start screaming something like "Why is it always sex with you? huh? honestly it's just cock cock cock with you, why don't you care about my feelings..." and so forth untill we break up again and make-up again. But frankly, sissy, you aint worth it. /unnecessarily bitchy put down. Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 15:44 10 June 2008

Can't you see I love you, bitch? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 15:46 Jun 10

Oh I see it. I'm just not looking. Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 15:48 10 June 2008

/me leaves in tears to go masturbate ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 15:51 Jun 10

There you go again; crying from your japs eye... I'm disapointed. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Orian57 (talk • contribs)

I'm getting sick of congratulating you.

Did ya get it in time for a hat trick week? Congratulations and stuffs. secks, yada yada yada. -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:13, 10 Jun

I think it got featured on that Saturday, which makes for a hat trick, yeah. I'm pretty pleased. Also, I was just reminiscing about my early Uncyc days and how freakin' terrible and depressing they were. Go check my userboxes, I just added that one that tells you how long you've been here. I just realized that I'm old compared to a lot of Uncyclopedians these days. sirsysrq @ 19:15 Jun 10

Also I should stop watching you whilst you sleep, shower, etc. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I LOVE SYSRQ MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE ON THIS PAGE

Ah, it's nice to go on a random page and people were talking about me. Also, I BEAT YOU ALL!! TOSSERS!! AHAHA!! --~FAG! +chatline "if it ain't broke, break it" (CUN·VFH)

Nuh UH! I lurves him teh mostest! -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:12, 10 Jun

STFU, surface dweller. You are a mere shadow of my adoration! --~FAG! +chatline "if it ain't broke, break it" (CUN·VFH)

I fight you for him! You wannabe pretender you! -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:19, 10 Jun

I once thought I wanted to be the pretender until I realised I was the REAL THING, motherfucker. --~FAG! +chatline "if it ain't broke, break it" (CUN·VFH)

That's it! Behind the bleachers after school! Also, those pants make your ass look huge bitch! -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:30, 10 Jun

Ah, violent arguments always end in sex. --~FAG! +chatline "if it ain't broke, break it" (CUN·VFH) 20:31, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Promise? Okay, you can have him then. -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:37, 10 Jun

/me decides to lie in wait while the two fight each other to death and then to snatch the prize for herself... -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 21:06, 10 Jun

An orgy for my love? That sounds dynamite. All of you, get in the lotion pit. sirsysrq @ 21:07 Jun 10

Only if you put the lotion to good use and give me a backrub while the rest of the cast in this square drama fight each other to the death. My back's killing me... -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 21:13, 10 Jun

Sounds like my evening just got that much better. sirsysrq @ 21:15 Jun 10

Wait, you've had a lotion pit this whole time? I like, totally love you and stuff. -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:32, 10 Jun

Oxford

thanks for that, I think I'm done at the moment. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Demogorgon (talk • contribs)

Cool, I'll have a look in a bit. sirsysrq @ 14:25 Jun 11

Re: Title that I completely didn't understand

Just for the record, I know I should normally reply on others' talk pages; I just used my own as per the giant notice on my welcomer's talk page.

As for PR, I've never been much for improving articles on a GRAND scale. Or even writing them (damn, I was hoping to become n00b of the month). I leave that to the real Jim Carreys around here. I'm more of the small fixes type of guy.

Anyway, thank'ee much for welcoming me. Sort of. Now all I need is a cool signature like everyfrigginone else's and I'm set. 21655 18:03, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

I could help you out with that. Just make a subpage, like User:21655/sig, set it to Raw Signature in Preferences, and put in in there as {{subst:NOSUBST|User:21655/sig}} and you're good. At least, I think that's how you do it. I dunno. sirsysrq @ 00:49 Jun 12

Hello, colon-masher

It seems as if we're pals now, so I figured I'd start a conversation-thing on your talkpage, that's what these "pals" do, right? // Berry; speak to me // 09:58 12 June 2008

I guess. I just hope that queer kid doesn't show up like he usually does. sirsysrq @ 17:05 Jun 12

Yes. He has a "thing" for cows, too. And then he gets all "how dare you" and stuff. // Berry; speak to me // 17:51 12 June 2008

I hear he never calls his parents. Just sits out there in the fields, jacking off other people's cows. What a wanker. sirsysrq @ 17:53 Jun 12

I believe the correct greeting is Hello, Master of Colons. More formal I know....but its tradition. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I've been called worse. Carry on. sirsysrq @ 18:06 Jun 12

As I was going to say before being interrupted, when he's finished, if you like, he crawls into a haystack and goes to sleep. Or so I've heard. // Berry; speak to me // 18:10 12 June 2008

What a mook. Also, penis. sirsysrq @ 18:50 Jun 12

Mittens. // Berry; speak to me // 19:09 12 June 2008

Leonardo da Vinci. sirsysrq @ 19:15 Jun 12

Map of Normandy. // Berry; speak to me // 19:26 12 June 2008

Bilbo Baggins. sirsysrq @ 19:29 Jun 12

A boots. // Berry; speak to me // 19:30 12 June 2008

TRADITION!!! sirsysrq @ 19:32 Jun 12

FORMAL!!! // Berry; speak to me // 19:33 12 June 2008

Pardon me, sah, but were you implying just now that you would rather be rather formal? I just happen to fancy being fancy myself. sirsysrq @ 19:37 Jun 12

Excuse me kind sir, but I have to say that comic sans, if you like, isn't quite the formal I was looking for. Not that I was wanting to be formal in the first place. Bleh. // Berry; speak to me // 19:44 12 June 2008

What is that barbaric script thou art assaulting mine eyes with? Are you attempting to start a row with me, sah? Because I'll have you know that I have never backed down from a polite chess challenge. Also, if I were to mention my genitals, would you join me in a jolly? sirsysrq @ 19:48 Jun 12

Forgive my informal use of typeface, kind sir, for I am a mere peasant. I -- good golly! You're suggesting things that are expectable to be rather jolly! And they include your genitalia, too. You've got a dirty mind, kind sir. // Berry; speak to me // 19:55 12 June 2008

Dear me, are you implying that I've been conversing with the proletariat this whole time? The peasantry are most terribly vile with their simple letters, I feel as though I must now wash my monocle twelve times over! And forgive me for my transgression regarding my groin and its contents, I was merely gaging your reaction to such base humour. Perhaps another time, then? You peasants seem to enjoy such immaturities. sirsysrq @ 20:04 Jun 12

Allow me to explain, kind sir -- well, I would explain, but I'm afraid I've had a tad too much sherry. // Berry; speak to me // 20:14 12 June 2008

Consider yourself forgiven, my good sah, for I would be a hypocrite not to allow such a transgression. I happen to be high as a kite; I consumed copious amounts of opium this morning. sirsysrq @ 20:19 Jun 12

So, where were we? Oh yes, a prod. // Berry; speak to me // 14:47 13 June 2008

That's all slander, that is! You're seeing me in court, and I have cows to protect me... You, well SysRq, at least, doesn't! - [16:09 13 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Your face is a slander! // Berry; speak to me // 16:32 13 June 2008

How dare you insult me, such! - [16:36 13 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

How dare you go "how dare you" on me, especially after you told them to put it on the Unsignpost! // Berry; speak to me // 16:41 13 June 2008

How dare you criticise "how dare you". Also I put that very link to your archive talk page in, happy? - [16:54 13 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Excuse me, but you did what? I don't, well, quite understand what you mean by that. not that I'm mad at you or anything // Berry; speak to me // 17:04 13 June 2008

Christ, what a bunch of gheys! How DARE you not invite me to the party! -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:16, 13 Jun

How dare you barge in to somewhere you're not invited? And as for you, YTTE, how dare you attempt to bring this meme to my talk page! And Berry...how dare you continue this conversation on my talk page without me! sirsysrq @ 17:20 Jun 13

How dare you try for a fourth feature in two weeks? Why don't you give somebody else a chance? Good luck and stuffs -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:35, 13 Jun

How dare you imply that I'm actually trying for this feature? How dare you fail to understand that that article was written over a year ago? How dare you fail to even realize that I don't even really like that article at all? sirsysrq @ 17:43 Jun 13

How dare you assume that I care. How dare you assume that I even read it. How dare you wear pants in my presence! Good luck with the Op-nom by the way. How dare you consider becoming an admin! -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:48, 13 Jun

Wait...I'm nommed for oppage? When did this happen? Why am I the last to know these things? sirsysrq @ 18:03 Jun 13

I didn't know that either. Not that anyone cares. // Berry; speak to me // 18:08 13 June 2008

How dare you not care about something as important as a VFS nom? Seriously though, even though I said I didn't want adminship before, it'd be pretty cool. I think I may vote for myself. sirsysrq @ 18:14 Jun 13

...I meant that nobody cares about me not knowing of your nomination. Congratulations, though. // Berry; speak to me // 18:18 13 June 2008

It doesn't matter, nobody's stupid enough to vote for you anyway. -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:22, 13 Jun

I know, right? Who would vote me for sysop? sirsysrq @ 18:26 Jun 13

Just some ghey guy. -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:29, 13 Jun

Not me. // Berry; speak to me // 18:31 13 June 2008

Now we just wait and see if someone that isn't a member of the SysRq Fanclub Society decides to vote as well. sirsysrq @ 18:35 Jun 13

*cough* *cough* I totally don't deserve it, but meh... - [18:36 13 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Well, I wasn't really sure if I could vote more than once... // Berry; speak to me // 18:39 13 June 2008

To be totally honest, and at the risk of sounding smug, I don't think you've been here long enough. I love you, man, but you're just a kid. I'd make such a strong case for you after you have just a little more experience, because you'd make for a great op. And Berry, thanks for the edit conflict. You get three votes at VFS. sirsysrq @ 18:42 Jun 13

You're welcome, at least I think you are. // Berry; speak to me // 18:45 13 June 2008

SysRq: I don't deserve it and I won't win it. I just like getting votes, it boosts my ego! :-) - [18:49 13 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

I hope I didn't seem like I was shooting you down just now. If it makes you feel better, I'll pretend like you're hurting me in bed to make you feel huge. sirsysrq @ 18:53 Jun 13

Er...okay. And no, you didn't shoot me down... I know I don't deserve it. :-) - [18:55 13 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Yettie, you're not nearly experienced enough for Adminship. As soon as you get a few more months under your belt I'll totally vote for you. -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:57, 13 Jun

I see what you did there. // Berry; speak to me // 19:00 13 June 2008

Fuck for you? - [19:04 13 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Yes. -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:11, 13 Jun

There's new header below, silly. // Berry; speak to me // 19:07 13 June 2008

UnSignpost: June 12th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Openly Admits Its Liberal And Conservative Biases!

June 12th, 2008 • Issue 7

Cajek banned - New, shittier writer assigned to this stupid job by Qua Recently Cajek, an Uncyclopedia user who has been labelled as a mystical creature, was been given a one month ban by the council of Wikia. Users who feared that UnSignpost would not be written or delivered. But don't worry, Qua (Uncyclopedia's shittiest n00b) and half of YTTE have taken over UnSignpost, well...until Cajek gets unbanned. Qua, who is currently in a state of shock, said that "Cajek was a good guy, I didn't expect him to get banned for a month. He was about to help me, I don't know what he was going to help me with but he was going to help me with something.". Many Uncyclopedians that are known have a hold a grudge against Cajek celebrated his recent ban saying "While he might be back in only a month, we should take the time to celebrate and rejoice a Cajek-free environment." Flumpa "taking toys and going home". by lots of different people It has been reported that Flumpa, Uncyclopedia's very own pimply faced ginger-nut has left Uncyclopedia forever, due to irreconcilable differences. He cites the banning of users, fights between the two, the treatment of IP's as "real people" and the lack of cookies in mommas cookie jar. One of our reporters spoke to Flumpa as he was packing his wagon to leave Uncyclopedia "I like the holding hands and the fairy floss but Sophia has icky wiki germs and I just couldn't get past that. However I hear this new EDwina down the street is available, she may play in mud but I hear she has yummy yummy cookies." 127.0.0.1, leader of the "IPs are Real People, Too" Foundation had said that "Flumpa makes some great points on IP treatment, such as telling them that behind that string of random numbers lies an actual person; A person with heart. A person with brain. A person with spleen." When asked whether he would share his hard earned money on a badge from the Keep-the-IP's-out-of-Bannation-Foundation, this reporter simply told them to bugger off and get their own alcohol addiction gawdammit! We do, however, wish Flumpa the best of luck as he travels across the wiki-street with his trademarked brand of Off-topic forums to meet this EDwina fellow. Internet safety month has begun. By Dr. Skullthumper We at the UnSignpost would like to remind all Uncyclopedian editors that June is Internet safety month. Through the efforts of Uncyclopedia and other sites across the Internet, we can help protect innocent children and frail grandmothers from seeing offensive content DAMN Uhm, we're sorry about that. The editor that wrote that previous sentence has been fired, in accordance with the rules of Internet safety month. UnSignpost would like to remind all editors to use extra padding in tables, because we don't want the little kiddies touching the sharp edges and getting hurt. As per Internet safety month, all uploaded porn will be closely monitored to see if the models are engaging in safe fucking. I mean sex. SEX! I meant SEX! We apologize for the previous two editors. They have been shot, out in the hallway, in the most safe method possible, we assure you. We even laid out cushions for them to fall on. Anyway, Websense and other Internet blocking sites will up its sensors to block over 99.99% of the Internet. What will remain is available is the Wikipedia article "Frog", weather.com, and anything unblocked in China. We at UnSignpost wish you a happy Internet safety month, and hope that you stay safe. Remember to always use a firewall. This column has been blocked by Websense. Websense has blocked this column for the following reason: This column contains "humor". Finals approach for student-Uncyclopedians, procrastination triples By TheLedBalloon Aww, kitty! Isn't he cute? Difficult times lie ahead for schoolbound Uncyclopedians. A series of semi-challenging tests lie in the near future for many, and everyone's workload seems to be growing. Unfortunately for Uncyclopedians, finals are nearly here. However, luckily for Uncyclopedia, finals are almost here! This means that, as procrastination rates skyrocket, Uncyclopedia activity grows proportionally. Haven't been studying for your math final? Those fancy words mean that Uncyclopedia usage is going up, just as teachers pull out their hair worrying about keeping their kids' averages above the department bottom line so they can keep their jobs. However, here at UnSignpost and Uncyclopedia, we pride ourselves on allowing for multi-tasking. So, here is a series of brief study guides that are pretty much all you need: Science: For this final, you will be asked questions about science. However, simply remember a few facts, and your science final will be a breeze. These include remembering that ontogeny does not recapitulate phylogeny, pyruvate and phosphofruktokinase function as glycolytic enzymes, and the kidneys are located three ribs up from the malnuric sphincter. Math: Just prove to your teacher that 1=2, and any answer you give is automatically right. English: ENGLISH, MOFO, DO YOU SPEAK IT? History: To pass this, just try to remember a few important dates: 622BC, 394BC, 211BC, 5BC, 11AD, 24AD, 300AD, 906AD, 1102AD, 1619AD, 1791AD, 1963AD, and 2012AD. Tech. Ed.: Basically, you take a saw and cut shit up. Fucking A. Music class: Try not to fail and blow any notes. You'd sure look like a real tool, then, huh. Art: Just explain to your teacher how deep and misunderstood you are, and paint your feelings. Take a few pictures with a black and white camera setting and write a few "dark" poems, and if your teacher knows how often you cry then you'll have an easy A. Foreign language: THIS IS AMERICA, SPEAK AMERICAN! Gym: If you're really planning on studying for this final, then only God can help you now. NONSENSE CATASTOPHE by Cajek An article by Zombiebaron has caused a huge feud between the all-powerful admins that could ban me again. Thekillerfroggy has charged that the "Nonsense Watermelon Catastrophe" was not newsworthy enough, while Zombiebaron charges that the article is newsworthy, and therefore should not be deleted. In the fight, many people have cried "drama" and run for their lives. "Oh, this is deliiiicious!" said resident fucktard Drama. We spoke to Drama in his white linoleum mansion. He stopped seductively petting his gay snow leopard long enough to talk to us. "I loooove drama. I want their drama dripping all over my linoleum castle. I want their orgasmic screams of anger to rattle the walls! What do you think, Puffles?" "Oohh, puurrrrr" said Puffles. Some of the more regular users have claimed that the drama will bring unwanted side effects. RAHB has recently said to one of our reporters: "Remember, when there's drama, Ljlego touches himself." [Ed note: he said that on IRC, I swear. to. god. ban: banbanban.] Zombiebaron, an administrator who just happens to be a spectre of the unwept dead, spoke at his crypt this Tuesday dressed in his ceremonial black and red robes: "Hhhgggrrrr, I do not like speaking to the public: They give me a rash. As far as how random uncyclopedia is, we have two admins who are a balloon and a frog, so my article is perfect. The drama will not be settled until I taste the frog's flesh. Suffffeeeerrrrrr..." The Killer Froggy issued a statement soon after, with his frog army in the background: "ribbit? RIBBIT! ribbit. ribbit ribbit ribbit!" Both administrators have promised to ban the poor, misunderstood writer of this article if their statements were printed, but that's the risk we take to bring you the news. That's just how cool we are. Drama is the real winner here. As of this printing, he is planning to buy his gay snow leopard a fluffy red cape with the profits. And remember: every time there's drama, Ljlego touches himself. I'm not fucking kidding. He's all like, "oh yeah, oh, oh yeah I love you drama" and they're both in the love coven, snugglin' n' shit. I have pictures, guys! I swear it's totally ins AS OF THIS PARAGRAPH, CAJEK HAS BEEN BANNED INDEFINITELY.

Check out these pages! How dare you! Google is the new 42 Join Scientology Or Else! Wikis different from our own PWN'D! From our logs: 09:42, 5 June 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Bringing Uncyclopedia in to disrepute (or even further into? whatever.)) 15:33, 5 June 2008 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (time served already.....reduced sentence) 13:42, 4 June 2008, TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 221.154.246.169 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite (Sorry, you're too dumb to edit this wiki. You can come back when you grow a brain.) 12:35, 4 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 47 seconds ‎ (ZOMG LINKIN' SHOCK BANBANBANBANBAN) 03:55, June 10, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 122.2.113.102 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (TAGLOG MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK TAGLOG?!) 20:07, June 10, 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (Are you ban hunting or something?) 05:56, June 11, 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.0.83.149 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (You fail at funny. Read HTBFANJS. Slowly. Then copy it out 100 times in longhand and maybe, *maybe* I'll let you edit here again.)) Biopic of the Week 127.0.0.1 ~ Quite possibly the greatest IP that has ever lived. He is literally everywhere at once. He is in your computer, destroying it bit by bit. He is in your living room, eating your Flamin' Hot Cheetos. He is in your bedroom possibly getting laid. He is in every room you could possibly think of. All Hail 127.0.0.1!!! Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Japanese Euroipods and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "Can-in-the-pan" ~ Showcasing the unerring ability of the British to come up with expressions that bear no connection whatsoever to the item or act they're describing, this is used by the Cornish to refer to a somersault. A small template glorious prize is on offer to the person who comes up with the best suggestion as to why. Answers on a postcard to UU's talk page. Page Quote of the Week: Oswald's guilt was assured when he was witnessed running the 397 yards from the Book Depository Building and began teabagging the President Warren Commission Best New Article of the Week: That Guy Standing Behind You with the Freakin' Huge Chainsaw, no words can sum up how incredibly good this article is. It tells this story about a guy who wasn't cared for who started chopping things up with a chainsaw. Sure some critics are skeptical but we at the UnSignpost think this is the best new article yet. Well until it gets deleted of course. Article of the week: That one written by Cajek all the way at the bottom was pretty damn good. I love articles that have references to sex in 'em. I don't have much to do in this trailer, and when I see a reference to sex it's like my pants fly. off. It's okay, the cats don't understand what's going on. Well, the dogs and the chimp may understand but they're not complainin'. Nope, reading Uncyclopedia articles gets me too hot to care about social constraints.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 16:55, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

I'm sorry, I must have accidentally clicked on Spang's talkpage by mistake.

Archive yer damn page! -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:04, 13 Jun

lolwut sirsysrq @ 19:10 Jun 13

I suppose we'll continue our banter here? // Berry; speak to me // 19:47 13 June 2008

No, we're done. For now... -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:54, 13 Jun

Wait, no we're not. "SysRQ Fanclub"? Really? Features going to your head a bit?  :-P -OptyC Sucks! CUN21:20, 13 Jun

MEMBERS OF THE SYSRQ FANCLUB SOCIETY

1. FAG (who made himself top of the list without asking permission MOAR)
2. Cajek (who made himself top of the list without asking permission but got overtaken by Fag)
3. OPTYC
4. YTTE
5. BERRY
6. ORIAN57
7. SYSRQ

sirsysrq @ 00:34 Jun 14

MEMBERS OF THE SYSRQ FAN CLUBBING SOCIETY (aka. We hit You)

1. DJI
2. Canadians who like to club baby seals
3. Cavemen

--Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:14, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

HOORAY! I'm number one! Take that Fag! -OptyC Sucks! CUN00:42, 14 Jun

OH YEAH FAG IS ON THAT LIST TOO. EDITING NOW. sirsysrq @ 00:44 Jun 14

That's right, four (4) spaces below me. As it should be. -OptyC Sucks! CUN00:48, 14 Jun

Neat. // Berry; speak to me // 00:50 14 June 2008

I HAD SEX WITH A DOG AND NOW WE DON'T TALK sirsysrq @ 00:51 Jun 14

WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING? -OptyC Sucks! CUN00:54, 14 Jun

I AM UPSET sirsysrq @ 01:01 Jun 14

DID YOU TRY GIVING THE DOG FLOWERS? -OptyC Sucks! CUN01:05, 14 Jun

NO IT IS A DOG STUPID IT DOES NOT HAVE FEELINGS sirsysrq @ 01:07 Jun 14

OH, OF COURSE. HOW STUPID OF ME. MAYBE YOU COULD BUY THE DOG SOMETHING PRETTY TO WEAR. -OptyC Sucks! CUN13:22, 14 Jun

Hey! Cool! I'm part of something I didn't sign up for! Don't you have a Sys Fanclub userbox? What kind of cult is this? Also thanks for the comment on UnBlog always nice to know someone likes what I write. Oh and, yes, do archive. Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 02:35 14 June 2008

There should be a userbox. I'll make it later when I'm home from work. sirsysrq @ 12:59 Jun 14

Oh and talking of userboxes you may like this one that I threw together. Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 14:09 14 June 2008

HEY!

*twitchtwitch*Why *twitch*ain't*twitchtwitch* Ye*twitch* Olde Luvvy's *twitchtwitchtwitchtwitch*name on Ye Olde *twitchtwitch*List?*twitch*

On, and a gift for all those seal clubbers over there... -- *twitch* -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 13:51, 14 Jun

Start editing here more. =D And I'm gonna make a userbox for all you members. sirsysrq @ 22:24 Jun 15

Thank you SysRq

Thank you! for your support. May your socks stay forever dry! Mightydandylion (talk) Fk 21:03, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Well you liked the whoring box on my talk page...

User:MrN9000/Whorehouse Care to whore anything here? MrN 00:14, Jun 15

It's like this, but not. - [07:17 15 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Yea, your page is awesome YTTE. :-) I have one a bit like that at the top of my talk page also, but I think you were the first to do it like you did. The idea with this new page is that anyone can whore anything on it. It's not just for whoring to me. Hea! stop standing there, and go whore something on it! MrN 11:04, Jun 15

Sounds like a groovy idea. sirsysrq @ 22:27 Jun 15

I Updated my blog; you may want I look

... Well that was pretty much everything I wanted to say. I really should plan my titles better as they shouldn't give everything away. Titles are meant to summarise. Not spoil the plot. Except in special circumstances. Anyway, I was just informing you of another UnBlog update. As you may have guessed. Oh and do leave a question and I'm sure Lyle'll get back to you next week. Toodles. Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 18:46 16 June 2008

Look At Dis' Bitches

Hey, its the much hated bobofosho2 again. I was just wondering how the hell a picture that isn't even real that i posted for feature is still in the running for VFP? And u say my pictures suck, so there, naaaah-naaaaah.-Bobofosho2 20:51, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

VFP is a cesspool of fail. I only had one image of mine nominated against my will and it's failing just about as miserably as most images do. I'm not really sure what the basis is for removal is on VFP, to be quite honest. Actually, now that I check, all three of your images that you self nominated have failed with only one "For" vote each, and that vote was from yourself. Either way, I don't appreciate you coming to my talk page to gloat about something that you shouldn't be proud of. sirsysrq @ 22:47 Jun 17

Ok ur right, now i am becoming a dick. SORRY. I know you were nice enough to apologize to me, so i feel that you deserve my apology here, sorry again for my dickiness (is that a word?). So sorry and Cheers-Bobofosho2 23:10, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

Such is living and learning. I suppose we're even now? In all honesty, VFP is a waste of time. I try to stay away from it. I could be producing images; I'm just too lazy to deal with VFP. So, I'd rather get others to make them for me. sirsysrq @ 23:25 Jun 17

Thanks for the Nom

Hey, thanks for nominating me. It seems that my days of slacking off at work have finally paid off...Even though I didn't get your vote...grumble... What!? Nothing. You Rock. – Preceding unsigned comment added by The Woodburninator (talk • contribs)

No problem, I just think you have some real potential on this site and at least deserve to be considered for NotM. I think you may be eligible next month as well, seeing as how you're so new, so let's see how you do this month. sirsysrq @ 20:08 Jun 19

Yeah, sounds good. Anytime I hear that I'm not garbage, I like it. I'll take what I can get. [[The Woodburninator 21:03, 19 June 2008 (UTC)]]

Also, considering you're a kickass writer, don't be surprised if you find your name up at WotM in the next few months. Just keep the gold coming and I'll nom you if you keep this up. sirsysrq @ 02:08 Jun 21

UnSignpost: June 19th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

June 19whenever-th, 2008 • Issue 8

UnSignpost abandoned by creators! by UU Uncyclopedia's popular newspaper/tacky tabloid rag (delete according to preference) the UnSignpost - already floundering following the loss of founding editor Dr. Skullthumper - has been dealt another, possibly fatal blow, with the news that popular feature-machine and international diplomat Cajek has not been arsed to edit the latest issue. When thursday June 19th dawned without the by-now-traditional UnSignpost dropping onto their talkpages, Unycylopedians everywhere could be heard bravely dealing with the incident by pretending they hadn't noticed. We asked prominent Uncyc contributors for their reactions to the journalistic crisis facing their favourite wiki-based news delivery system. "SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON.... SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON!" said Don Leddy, obviously coping badly with the news. Sensing a possible catastrophe, DJ Irreverent bravely leaped into the breach and created a forum topic that galvanised the community, while UU declared himself too busy to help, then promptly wrote about half of the paper. While still suffering from writer's block, which explains the total lack of lulz and inspiration thus far. It's probably about time to link to nobody cares and close this story now, isn't it? Industrial mogul joins Uncyclopedia, promises great wealth to all. by DJ Irreverent UU Donald Trump, the man, the legend, the Tower, the hairstyle, has taken time out of his busy international schedule to create a forum topic promising affluence beyond the dreams of avarice to all on Uncyclopedia! Despite the impeccable credentials displayed on his userpage, so far only Qua and SysRq managed to take advantage of the popular billionaire's altruism before he was ruthlessly banned by noted anti-capitalist Codeine. UnSignpost was particularly impressed with Codeine's ability to resist the temptation to use "you're fired" as a block reason, as we are sure it would have been all but overwhelming. It is to be hoped that, on his return from bannination, Mr Trump will use his undoubted wealth and business connections to help Uncyc beat the ever-encroaching threat of Wikia's advertising plans. N00b ties knot by UU Popular recent NotM winner Cheapinitreal has further embarrassed the Uncyclopedia community by becoming all respectable and getting married. Confessing to his transgression, Cheap added "all and all, it was a right fine week". The UnSignpost would like to write something really funny here, then wish Cheap all the best, but this issue is being rushed out as it's, like, way late, so we just don't have time. UnSignpost resorts to blatant filler by UU In a move heralded as "an exciting development in journalism" by guest editor UU, the UnSignpost today employed blatant flannel to fill an annoying white gap at the bottom of the page. It is believed that this is the first such instance of using blatant rubbish to fill a newspaper page in journalistic history. "I'm proud to be at the vanguard of such a groundbreaking technique" said UU, before going off to scour Cajek's ideas page in a desperate hunt for inspiration. "Is this long enough yet?" he added, before concluding "not quite, another few words or so should do the trick".

Check out these pages! If people are gonna do it, might as well keep 'em off the streets Tuber tales The Cult of QVFD spreads! Don't think there's enough to vote for? Fag to the rescue! From our logs: 13:12, 17 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.43.66.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You will be better appreciated at that cheap whorehouse down the road. Take the third left) 21:59, 17 June 2008 Hinoa (Talk | contribs) blocked 74.38.121.240 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (UN:VAIN: It's what's for [INSERT GENERIC MEAL HERE]) 09:07, 17 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 220.128.148.178 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Budha says: Blanking shall not lead you to enlightment. Write funny articles, my friend, and be happy) 04:59, 16 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 58.107.246.135 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 day ‎ (No no. When was that last time YOU had a really big solid shit?) 01:35, 15 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.2.209.140 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You know, you're probably the dumbest person I've ever seen. That's saying a lot, you know. You should be proud.) 17:57, 13 June 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 84.168.60.159 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Banning Italy, one IP at a time.) Biopic of the Week Zombiebaron ~ Zombiebaron? Zombiebaron, zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron. Strong Zombiebaron. Text-based Zombiebaron. Also, Zombiebaron. Finally, Zombiebaron. Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Japanese Bubble Wrap and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "I wanna new wicker wacker" ~ Discerning Uncyclopedians finding themselves in the heart of Liverpool, but worryingly badly dressed, should fret no more - this handy phrase allows them to ask "can I have a new suit please sir?" like a native. It's anyone's guess as to what they'll end up clad in though. MrN UU's delete reason of the week: The_possible_lovechild_of_Mark_Twain_and_Oscar_Wilde ~ Delete - Holy crap, I've actually read this at least twice. I can't understand why it never occured to me to put it on VFD --Kip the Dip

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 01:01, 21 June 2008 (UTC)

Thats Twice?

Odd. Is your name on the signup sheet twice or something, or does AWB hate you? THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 02:14, 21 June 2008 (UTC)

As far as I know, other people are having the same problem. I'm pretty sure I'm only on the signup sheet one time. sirsysrq @ 13:03 Jun 21