User talk:Jacobw

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Welcome to my talk page

Hi[edit source]

yes hi - Jacobw (talk) 18:03, 10 February 2021 (UTC)

Welcome![edit source]

Hello, Jacobw, and thanks for joining Uncyclopedia! Before editing further, please take a gander at our Beginner's Guide. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, check out the following pages:

Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (OOjs UI icon signature-ltr.svg) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, post on our community forum, join our Discord, or message an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, our Adopt-a-Noob program can bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian!   Cassandra  (talk03:18am  January 26, 2021

Happy Monkey Competition 2021[edit source]

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Hey its HAPPY MONKEY TIME 2021 (Feb 21-28). Your favourite writing competition where we write articles on one another's suggested topics. Go ahead and sign up because the more users we have competiting the more ridonculously fun it is. If you don't wanna write you can sign up to judge! Sing up here. Remember it's not about writing a sure fire VFH article, but pushing the limits of your originality and creativity and spitting out an article on a topic you had never thought about writing before. Also...Shabidoo will love you forever and owe you like a zillion favours for it. He will literally do anything to please you if it means you participate. Happy Monkey Farts!!! ShabiDOO 15:18, 10 February 2021 (UTC)

UnSignpost delivery[edit source]

This is a telemarketing version of the UnSignpost, which has been provided to all active Uncyclopedians (selected by Cassie) free of charge. Enjoy! MediaWiki message delivery (talk) 01:39, 1 May 2021 (UTC)

The UnSignpost
Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

It's beginning to look a lot like…[edit source]

See you next year! The first annual *Kiss My Ass* Holiday Competition has officially ended for 2021

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Up for grabs is the coveted Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer. Who will be crowned Holiday Victor?
Judgement day is upon ye!

Seasons Greetings!

It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penny Sign Up Today! (pretty please)  – Zana Dark  talk to me  AJTA (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 13:55, 13 December 2021

Oh Dear...[edit source]

Beware! The evil eye is upon thee!

Hello, Jacobw, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Unfortunately, we've noticed that your contributions - not to put too fine a point on it - have been crap. Basically, we think you're a spammer/vandal/10-year-old. But don't despair! We have ways to make you talk.. ahem. I mean, there are ways to get you out of this mess.

If you read anything at all, make it the above four links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

Good luck and I'm sorry you got off to such a bad start. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (OOjs UI icon signature-ltr.svg) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help or think this template has been placed unfairly, please ask me or an admin on their talk page, rather than going bat-fuck-insane. Alternatively you can ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!  Jacobw (talk) 03:11, 9 December 2022 (UTC)