User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user/Bob the Builder
~ Oscar Wilde on Bob
Bob the Builder born Robert Stanislav Kratolsvinski, III (July 19 1914 - September 24 2007) in Leningrad, Soviet Union, was a world-renowned builder and real-state speculator who masterminded the late 2000s sub-prime housing bubble that sunk the world into the Second Great Depression. Kratolsvinski is also known for co-founding, along with Albert Speer, the Bobinist architectural movement of 1930s Germany and still present in beautiful places like Auschwitz or Dachau. Nevertheless, Kratolsvinski is perhaps best known for his portrayal as the leading role in the popular HBO TV series Bob the Builder, where he would use sub-standard building materials and illegal labor to gentrify vast urban areas. He also was involved in the building of Hogwarts, where he helped Salazar Slytherin create the Chamber of Secrets.
Bobography[edit | edit source]
Early life and education[edit | edit source]
Kratolsvinski was born in 1914 in a small town with an unpronounceable name, which sounds a bit like a gurgling koala, somewhere in Germany. (If you want to discuss the nomenclature of this insignificant village with your family or friends, 2 weeks on Sunday would be the perfect time.) Almost from birth, he was referred to by his middle names and his position (i.e. Robert Theo Toddler, or Robert Theo Student. Eventually this was shortened to Bob The Tot and Bob The Kid). In his earlier years, he developed friendships with inanimate objects that he swore talked back to him. One of which was a bulldozer he affectionately named "Molly." He attended the local Roman Orthodox Church School, where he learned about Hitler, and excelled in the Woodwork class. Here he met his best mate Peter the Pedophile who was also good enough at building. He attended California State Polytechnic University, Pomona (Cal Poly Pomona) on a football scholarship where he earned a B.S. in construction engineering, his thesis advisor was Isambard Kingdom Brunel.
Bob and Molly both decided to take over the world with just like Hitler. Starting with Poland... after lunch... maybe. However, Bob had to finish his degree in building, if he was going to be a able to build an army, and he sadly failed at this. Bob later said that that was his darkest time, and he did some things he now regrets with Molly. After gaining courage, Bob retook his degree, and built the now-famous Acropolis. This time he passed, and was a qualified builder. It was now time to take over the world. Bob the Builder is about a gay man wearing tight overalls and a yellow shiny hat to make all the gays jealous.
The Quest for World Domination[edit | edit source]
By 1936, Bob had built himself an army out of scrap metal and blue tack (through a method as seen on Blue Peter). He rode on Molly the bulldozer, forwards into Denmark, his first target, however his army were confused by the thick accents and black forests, and were defeated. Bob, while he was in Communist Russia, needed more money to repair his army, so he got a job as a laborer. He in fact used Molly to tear down the Kremlin. By the time Bob reached his 30th birthday, he was completely settled in Russia, all dreams of world domination forgotten. Then Russia got tough on immigrants, and he was deported. Molly, however, was allowed to stay, as they believed she was a communist.
Sad and rejected, and worst of all, in Poland, Bob formulated a plan to get to Russia, steal Molly back, and then follow thousands of other builders to Germany. He smuggled himself into Russia with a very long tunnel, and came into Molly's new home. It was here that Bob's greatest blow was struck. Molly had been repainted, and was now called JCB. Molly said she liked her new life and didn't want to part with her JCB friends. As they said their last goodbyes, the Russian police came to take away the lunatic who was kissing the bulldozer.
Escaping The Mental Institute[edit | edit source]
During 1939, Bob was in a German mental institute, which is where his drug habits stemmed from. They used his constructional abilities to great use, as he built them a brand new
gas chamber shower suite. However, the drugs were telling Bob to leave Germany and go to France. Using a friendly cell mate as a distraction (he raped a spoon), Bob escaped the mental institute, and caught a lift into France. That lift was with Lofty, who later starred in his show (before his suicide). In France, Bob rebuilt the Eifell Tower and the Louvre. Then, with his new friend Lofty, he set off underneath a container ship to sneak illegally into England and steal the English people's work...not that they're bitter.
Work during WW2[edit | edit source]
Bob got a contract in Poland during WW2, he was told to build a railway station and a couple of showers, in a summer camp. From what he hears, the children really enjoyed it. Next he was given the task of coming up with a way to destroy communism, but he is still working on it. His contract was changed to the American presidency.
Meeting Wendy J. Fawker[edit | edit source]
After setting up in a small English town, in Hampshire, Bob met a beautiful woman called Wendy, whilst repairing a roof tile. She was a cement mixer seller. They got on like a house on fire, and married in 1997. Later, their house did end up on fire, but that was after the divorce. Wendy learnt how to be a builder from Bob, and introduced Dizzy into the family. Bob later decided to get a whole group of machines, buying Rolly, Muck and Scoop as well. Wendy still didn't understand why he talked to them though.
Bob and Hitler[edit | edit source]
Upon hearing that Bob was now living in England, Hitler declared war, to win him back. So Bob ass fucked Wendy one more time and moved back to Germany. But as the allies closed in on Germany in 1945 Bob lied and told Hitler that he had a building job in Switzerland and ran away. When Hitler was informed he simply said to his Chief of staff "I see," and went down to his bunker and shot himself. -He also represents his famous "shit stache".
Planning Permission Community Service[edit | edit source]
In 2000, Bob suffered what close friends call an "episode," in which he believed himself to be outside of the law, when he did not apply for planning permission for a conservatory on his house. The local authorities sentenced him to one hundred hours community service, which is just a little less than you get for running over children. Whilst completing his punishment he became obsessed with teaching the world how to build properly. He toured schools teaching children with incredibly complex Lego models, and crushed the children's models because they hadn't applied for bleeding permission!
Sinking into depression[edit | edit source]
Bob was losing a battle with drugs and alcohol, experimenting his new mixes on his friend peter. One day bob used his cement mixer to mix up a new drug that he felt was going to be a market hit. He tested it out on peter who suffered a heart attack and died. In an effort to shift the blame, Bob told the police that it was Roly, who was quickly taken away. Bob went on a 4 day binge of alcohol and drugs to get over his friends death, and next he was accused of faulty building. All this culminated in Bob jumping off a two story house's roof, in a suicide attempt.
The Show & Subsequent Death[edit | edit source]
When Leon Kratolsvinski was deported in 2002, he simply waited for the immigration laws with Germany joining the EU came into practice, and emigrated legally. England couldn't do anything, due to the Belgian laws, so sent him to live away from mainland England, on to the spin-off island, and former holiday destination Ireland. Bob and Wendy were there when they were approached by some television company offering them a children's show, after learning about their passion. The show lasted for three series, and ended dramatically with Bob the Builder's suicide. The show was a documentary, all real events from the life of Bob, except the producers would arrange special guests and neatly edit the boring bits out. One special guest, James Van Deer Beek, ended up making Bob have an affair, and in the last two series the show focussed more on Bob's personal life than buildings. The show was the most popular show from 2004 - 2007, when it finished its run. The show finished with the third series due to Kratolsvinski's death. The documentary actually witnessed Bob the Builder's suicide, after the death of all the characters bar himself. After Bob disarmed a bomb, but blew up a school, he had to sell his machines to make up what he had been sued. Unable to tolerate life without his machines, he commited seppuku.
Personal Life[edit | edit source]
In 1997, Bob married Wendy Fawker. The marriage lasted until 2005, when Wendy saw Bob getting anal from Paul o'GradyBob and Paul are now in eachothers mouths with there lollipops and Paul says 'He iz ze bezt i haz ever had' whilst swallowing a bobfull of it so it is translated to the highest standard. She filed for divorce in 2007, having given it a few years to get it on with Spud the scarecrow. This all took place on air, in series two and three, leading to Bob eventually trying to shy away from the media attention, until his suicide. Which was filmed and broadcast as a double bill. While he was alive, Bob was a member of the Neo-Nazis, as is his good chum, Postman Pat, and donated his garage for meetings, fund raisers and sleepovers. Bob actually raped Wendy once. No sorry, twice. But she liked it.
It is rumoured that Bob has fathered over fifteen children. One of which, Ewald Nigel Hitler, who is the first child with biological parents of the same sex, is in the process of being adopted by Angelina Jolie, who claims that she needs him to remind her of her lover.
There have been many rumors about Bob's sexuality, and despite belief, he was not gay, nor had he had sex with Christina Aguilera. The rumor about him and Angelina Jolie was in fact true but Bob broke Angelina's heart when she asked to marry him. Angelina then ran away crying and got hooked on adopting underprivileged children and getting them magazine deals. Bob later revealed he was bisexual, after getting it on with a long-dead German dictator.
The Characters[edit | edit source]
- Bob is a construction worker and head of his own construction yard. He is the namesake of the show and also its main character. Throughout the series, it is hinted at that the company has had shady business dealings with the Nazis and the Mafia to keep competition out of the way. One major plot point of the series was his descent into depression and alcoholism. In the beginning he started off as a cheerful construction worker, but as time went by and he lost more and more of his friends, alcohol took over his life and he refused to build anymore. Some see this as an elaborate metaphor for our own life.
- Peter bob's best friend, rumored to be a pedophile, in season 2 episode 5 he is raped by dizzy, and overdoses on a mixture of crack and heroin called speed-ball and dies.
- Wendy is Bob's business partner who runs the office. She is also seen doing construction work in many episodes. An underlying romantic tension between Bob and Wendy is hinted at in several episodes, and in one episode Roley and Dizzy hear the two getting intimate. By the events of Build Me a House, Bob, the relationship is established to be over. In one episode, it is revealed that Wendy has had struggles with numerous psychological problems, but nowadays is heavily medicated to prevent further incidents.
- Farmer Pickles was the local farmer who supplied Bobsville with food and Saddam hussain with weapons of mass destruction.. Like many characters, he started off as upbeat and optimistic, but with the coming custom of factory farming he was forced to spend more and more money for renovations, requiring the assistance of Bob and co. for extensive rebuilding of his farm. Much of his screen-time was spent discussing his relationship with his scarecrow, Spud. He was a series regular until the events of Burn, Spud, Burn. In the episode, Pickles claims that "he's had enough of life," and mentions that his financial problems and home life are "beyond repair". Finding out that Spud is bisexual and has previously made love to Wendy pushed him over the edge, and he burned down the barnyard, killed Spud with a crude improvised flamethrower, and hung himself.
- Spud was an animate scarecrow and Farmer Pickle's lover. Suffering from psychological problems, Spud often was reckless to his own life and the lives of others. His manic-obsessive behavior spread to relationships as well, claiming to commit himself to Pickles while cheating on him with Wendy. He was killed by Farmer Pickles in series two.
- Scoop the backhoe began the show as Bob's right-hand-man, but, around series two, he came under pressure as he had to support Bob's failings while still managing to get the work done. Finally, in series three, the pressure came to a head, and in the episode Scoop at Sea, Scoop left Bobsville and joined the Navy.
- Muck was another one of Bob's machines, but her poor design and under-quality engine meant that she struggled at her tasks and was deemed "useless" by Bob. With the company in dire financial straits, Bob was unable to upgrade Muck and in the episode Playbob she was sold to grue by Bob.
- Roly, like Scoop, was forced to pick up the slack from the other dysfunctional machines. However, from series one, Roly and the Killing Spree, Wendy confided to Dizzy that Roley had been diagnosed with schizophrenia and could "turn on us at any moment". His problems manifested themselves in other ways as well, such as his irrational fear of boxes and his addiction to gambling. These problems were only amplified by Scoop's disappearance, and Roley finally lost his slim grasp on reality in Runaway Roly, where he traveled to Vegas and blew his money on slots.
- Lofty, was an elaborate mess of psychological problems from the start. Due to years of Drug and Alcohol abuse, he was nervous and clumsy, Lofty was unable to do the simplest of jobs without extensive counseling, which made the other machines look down on him. Bob and Lofty were always at odds with one another, and it was believed that it was this animosity that made Lofty create larger and larger attention-getting devices that the soviets used against America but failed because the soviets couldn't carry out the simplest of tasks, eventually taking his own life in an effort to get noticed.
- Tumbler, has a ridiculously deep voice. I mean, seriously. It's hilarious listening to this thing talk. It sounds like giving James Earl Jones a megaphone and turning the bass up all the way. Whoever cast the voice actor to portray Tumbler must have been either high or drunk. At the end of season3 it is revealed that he is actually megatron. When attempting one of his suicide attempts, bob accidentally shoots him, causing him to transform. He swears revenge on Bob and forms the League if Ultimate Evil with Joseph Stalin.
- Packer, formerly voiced by Brett Favre
Episodes[edit | edit source]
Here is a list of Bob the Builder episodes. Notable character departures and absences are in italic.
SERIES ONE[edit | edit source]
First aired every Monday from October 2004
- Bob's First Episode. It's his last episode. Duh. ''First appearance of Bob, Wendy, Spud, Scoop, Dizzy, Muck, Lofty, Roley, Travis, Bird and Mr. Potts''.
- Muck Gets Eaten: Dizzy and Muck have some eating and spit. Later, Bob and Scoop masturbate to it.
- What's Wrong Dizzy?: Rolly and Scoop wonder why Dizzy's so stoned today (guest starring Cheech and Chong).
- Bob and the tugboats:Bob and Mr. Potts got stuck on a tugboat
- Roley and the Killing Spree: Rolly kills all of the little forest animals. And he just falls of a cliff and dies...
- Brokeback Barn: Travis notices that Farmer Pickles and Spud have grown closer these days...
- Scoop's Signs: After Muck pisses off Scoop, he gives her a hand signal everybody knows.''First appearance of Daffy Duck and Donald Duck
- Lofty and the Happy Pills: In a fit of depression, Lofty overdoses on pills and is rushed to the auto repair shop. [[Oscar Wilde guest stars.]]
- Sing-Along Bird Part 1: Bob plays Guitar Hero, and now Bird wants to play... ''First appearance of Bob's Rifle.''
- Sing-Along Bird Part 2: Also known as "Bird Gets Pwned." Bob shoots and kills Bird, and Wendy cooks it. And Bob Buys a new bird. But the new bird is evil so everyone who appeared on the show stomps on him to death.
- Shut the F**k Up, Pickles: Bob and Farmer Pickles have a bar fight. Spud places bets.
- Muck's Moods: Muck suffers from violent mood swings, until a psychologist shows up.
- Bob Snaps at Dizzy: 'Nuff said. Dizzy announced she was Jewish. Bob forced her to renounce her faith. They reconcile later, and a bit more, if you know what I mean?
- Relationships: Scoop and Dizzy have sex, then begin a relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend) etc.
- Scoop Saves the Day: He really didn't but everybody was too busy to care. He also tells Travis after he makes fun of his building.
- Roley Gets Rolling:The title says enough.
- Hitler coming everybody is waiting for Hitler: Bob, Wendy, Spud, Rolly, and Scoop wait for Hitler's appearance, but he dosen't come.
- Xbob 360: Bob gets addicted to playing Halo 3, and no work is getting done. It takes a mixture of a barcrawl, a massive drunken orgy, and a small amount of plastic explosives to help get things back to normal. Unfortunately, the plan backfires, and when Bob gets home and finds his Xbox has been blown up, he is hospitalised for attempted suicide. But he'll recover! (Series finale)
SERIES TWO[edit | edit source]
First aired every Monday from March 2006
- Bob Meets Hitler: He meets Adolf Hitler and makes out. ''First appearance of Adolf Hitler''.
- Naughty Spud: Spud gets to be naughty
- Bobscape Part 1: Lofty shows Bob Runescape and Bob liked it so he became addicted. But who is his arch-nemesis?
- Bobscape Part 2: It is revealed that Hitler is the other player.Rayman And Billy Mays gets Bob to make virtual love to him.[First appearance of Billy Mays and Rayman]
- Bob and the Nudists: Bob renovates the cafe at a nudist beach, when all of a sudden he is hit over the head with a bat (or at least he thinks it was a bat, when it was actually some guy's penis). Later, he wakes up, wearing nothing but a Nazi armband, and his money gone. Meanwhile, Scoop crashes into a petrol station.
- Spud Sleeps Around: In the follow-up to "Brokeback Barn" and "Naughty Spud", Spud breaks his commitment to Farmer Pickles and reveals his bisexuality by making love to Wendy. Farmer Pickles swears his revenge.
- Burn, Spud, Burn: Farmer Pickles burns Spud alive with a flamethrower and then commits suicide. (Final appearance of Spud and Mr. Pickles)
- Rolly's False Hope: Rolly thinks his beloved Liverpool might actually win the league, City win instead. Meanwhile, Muck is hooked on cannabis.
- Bob and the Japanese Customer: 売春婦は友人無しに、あなたの母であるもの知っている。. A Japanese immigrant attempts to meet with Bob. Hilarity ensues.
- Bob's day at Oktoberfest: Bob vomits on Rayman.
- Dizzy Gets Busy: Dizzy finds a new hobby of stalking toddlers from bushes. Meanwhile, Rolly and Scoop lose all their money in online gambling.
- Paedo-Muck: Following on from Dizzy Gets Busy, Muck gets a job at a primary school and has fun in the toilets.
- Bob Disgruntled: Bob finds his page on Uncyclopedia, he finds that nothing makes sense anymore. Meanwhile, Lofty does graffiti in a bid for attention, and Hitler visits again.
- Keep it Real, Batty Boy: The gang get a surprise visit from Ali G. Wendy is suspicious of Bob and Hitler. Lofty still feels left out. ''Special guest Ali G.''
- Well Done, Muck: Muck learns how to ride a bike though he doesn't really need this skill since hes a truck. Lofty, still feeling left out, starts self-harming.
- Work for You!: Wendy gets the Red Ring of Death on her X-Box 360, and stops working. Bob sees this as a time to meet with Hitler, but she sees them!
- Hitler vs Bob Bob tells Hitler he have a eating contest.
- Disco Bob, Spud, Farmer Pickles, and Hitler work on building the dance club. All of them overdose on crystal meth and Hitler dies.
- Muck gets stuck Muck is stuck in quicksand and only Ozzy Osbourne can save her.
Then Muck is saved and she has sex with Ozzy.
SERIES THREE[edit | edit source]
First aired every day from March 2007
- Bodgy builder:Bob stops a counter part name Bodgy (March 14,2007)
- Daffy,Donald and the mallDonald and Daffy go to Bobsville mall (March 17,2007)
- Mcdonalds Ronald joins bobs team (March 20,2007)
- No We Can't: Hitler comes back to life, for some weird reason. Bob avoids Wendy after realising she saw him having sex with Hitler. Meanwhile, the machines are trying to persuade a repairman not to put Lofty back together again, promising him "It's not worth the money." (March 25, 2007)
- O is for Orgy: The gang decide to 'try something different'. They all drink TONS of beer, causing them all to get a hangover in a bender. (March 26, 2007)
- Bob's Bad Back Bob is getting a bad back from sleeping on the couch. Wendy hasn't forgiven his anal with Hitler. Meanwhile, Rolly takes a second job at a customer support hotline to keep the company afloat. (April 16, 2007)
- Scoop At Sea: Tired of Bob's descent into alcoholism and depression, Scoop joins the Navy and never returns to Bobsville for a century. (April 23, 2007)
- Bob's super death base Wendy discovers the enterance to a world filled with Bob's failed inventions such as the Decepticons and President George Bush. When she finds a robot version of hitler (which bob uses to fill his 'needs') she forces him sell them in a car boot sale.
- Bob Buys New Friends: Bob buys a new frontloader, called Digger, and a new truck, called Dumpy, to replace the hole that he is feeling. He sells them for gambling money near the end of the episode. ''First appearance of Digger and Dumpy ''. (April 30, 2007)
- Bob vs. the Constructicons: In this special crossover with the Transformers, the Constructicons invade Bobsville and almost destroy it. Bob, however, has purchased several pieces of paramilitary hardware and he retrofits the crew with extremely dangerous experimental technology to do battle with the invaders, and succeeds. (May 20, 2007)
- Bob Finds Potassium: Bob finds potassium and sells it to Kazakhstan. (Guest stars Borat Sagdiyev) (June 13, 2007)
- Wendy And Bob And Adolf Too Part 1: Wendy and Hitler have a scrap in the yard, which Wendy wins. Things get bad for Wendy when Dizzy reveals her affair with Scoop. Bob and Wendy both want a divorce. (August 20, 2007)
- Wendy And Bob And Adolf Too Part 2: Hitler mysteriously disappears in the morning. Wendy is seen burning gloves and a shovel, but Muck is sworn to silence... (This is the ACTUAL final appearance of Adolf Hitler) (August 27, 2007)
- Busy Dizzy: Dizzy's love of music pisses off the crew, so
LoftyRolly distracts her by taking her on a hunting trip for spare parts. (Guest stars Wall-E and Pac-Man.) (9/4/07)
- Can We Fix It? Yes, With A Psychiatrist: Bob has an exciting adventure at the psychiatrist's office. (9/11/07)
- Can We Fix It? Yes, With A Divorce Lawyer: Bob and Wendy get a divorce. Wendy makes love to David Hasselhoff. When Bob finds out what Wendy did to Hitler, he gruesomely kills her by shooting her repeatedly. (Guest stars David Hasselhoff.)' (9/17/07)
- Runaway Rolly: Rolly is tired of keeping the group afloat, so he spends his paycheck on a trip to Vegas and disappears until the events of Build Me a House, Bob. (9/24/07)
- Playbob: Dizzy buys an issue of the bad Playboy magazine and Bob gets addicted to it. Bob spends all his money on the magazine, and so has to sell a machine to the scrapyard. He chooses Muck. (Final appearance of Muck). (10/1/07)
- Ban The Builder: Bob cant be bothered to build stuff anymore and the machines are worried, eventually they enter him in a Burp Contest. Dizzy and Rolly get it on. (10/8/07)
- Build Me A House, Bob: Bob's house is destroyed by arsonists, so he builds himself a new one. Rolly also conquers his fear of boxes, after appearing on Deal or No Deal. He loses the game show and kills himself. Guest stars Noel Edmonds and Howie Mandel (10/15/07)
- Can We Fix It? The Election: Bob, excited that Barrack Obama adopted the "Yes We Can" slogan, volunteered to help "fix" the 2008 Presidential election for Obama after the failed Democratic Party attempt to do so in 2000. (10/29/07)
- Get the sponge: Bob and the gang need a sponge. (Guest stars Spongebob) (11/5/07)
SERIES FOUR[edit | edit source]
First aired every Monday from March 2008
- Wendy opens Wendy's: Wendy comes back from the dead and starts a restaurant franchise called Wendy's. (March 23, 2008)
- Return of the Evil Bird: Evil Bird returns for no reason. Last appearance of Evil Bird and guest stars King Harkinian from Zelda and The Fat Controller from Thomas and Friends and Pikachu from Pokemon.(April 8, 2008)
- Bob versus Peter: Bob and Peter Griffin enter into a city-wide brawl with Hitler as referee. (Guest stars Peter Griffin and the ghost of Adolf Hitler) (July 17, 2008)
- Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice: Bob, Carol (played by Drew Barrymore), Ted (played by Jim Carrey), and Alice (played by Cameron Diaz) engage in a hot partner swapping orgy. (July 28, 2008)
- Wendy the sex instructor: Wendy stars in Seduced By A Cougar volume 11 where she teaches 18 year old virgin boys how to do it. (August 4, 2008)
- Bob versus the machines: Since Bob stopped building the machines decided to keep working on their own. Eventually they became so powerful they no longer needed the humans. Fear of the machines taking over the world, the humans darken the sky so the machines will have no energy source. The machines use humans as energy by growing them in pods and use a supercomputer to build a virtual world in their minds. Never mind.. that's the Matrix, sorry. (October 26, 2008)
- Bob's super death base Turbo "part 1"' Bob, tired of life, hides in his new super death base turbo, with his army of inventions. But when wendy finds out that he didn't sell the base like he promised, she wages war on him, joined by the league of Ultimate evil. Bob gets injured in an assaination attempt by stalin, and carpet bombs new hampshire with his harrier jump jets. Megatron survives an is about to shoot bob, but he is struck in the back with an axe by President George Bush. wendy is captured behind enemy lines by the Robot hitler, Will she survive?
- Bob's super death base Turbo "part 2" bob quickly builds the Autobot army out of cow shit, metal, and a milk carton. They defeat the league and rescue wendy. as payement for saving his life Bob riggs the Presidential Elections with faulty voting consoles for George Bush.
- Bob says goodbye to Wendy: Bob, while up at 2AM browsing porn on the Internet stumbles upon Wendy's appearance in Seduced By A Cougar, marches over to her place, and shoots her in the head 7 times, and sets the house on fire. (Final appearance of Wendy) (November 1, 2008)
- Finale: In the series "finale", Bobland gets invaded by Pokemon,and is later destroyed by Giratina!!! (November 8, 2008)
- Finale Part 2: Bob loses his money, bombs a school, and destroys his machines. Then he dies. The end. (November 15, 2008)
Critical Reception[edit | edit source]
The first series of Bob the Builder was well-received by critics and audiences alike, often being the second-highest watched programme of the week, with audiences of reaching up to 25. Critics such as Roger Ebert, of the New York Times noted that: "The well-designed storylines, with a beginning, middle, and end, and the easy and accessible characters, make for consistently excellent viewing. Sukhdev Sandhu, of the Daily Telegraph, analysed that: "The key to the success of Bob the Builder is its simple storylines, coupled with all the sexy machines." Jen Pokka, of The Sun, wrote: "I fucking love it!"
The second series was also well received, with even higher ratings. The addition of Hitler to the main cast was controversial, but it proved that the writer's gamble paid off, with the final episode of Series 2 being watched by 79 people worldwide. The critics also universally noted that the special guest appearance by Ali G was a high point. It was once suggested by Bob that a crossover show was considered, but this never amounted to anything, mainly because he died.
Series 3, however, was not so successful, as many of the original characters wanted to leave to pursue other projects. Whilst Lofty, Farmer Pickles, and Spud had "died" at the end of Series 2, during the final series Scoop, Hitler, Wendy, Muck, Rolly, Dizzy all left the show, leading many critics to state that they hated the show, always hated the show, and demanded something better. The BBC provided them with a new show, Postman Pat.
Spin-Offs[edit | edit source]
Following the success of Bob the Builder, Wendy, Bob's late and ex-wife, was featured in a spin-off series, called Wendy Goes Dating. Set immediately after Wendy divorced Bob due to immoral conduct with spanners, it was a comedy drama, showing her trying to get to grips with being back on the dating scene. It was not well received, and even guest appearances from the likes of Dizzy, Bob (before his untimely death) and Sir Alan Sugar could not bring it back for a second series. The season finale, where Wendy decided she was a scarecrow-sexual, was one of the least watched programmes of the year. Since then, Wendy has appeared in many DIY programmes, and is currently presenting "Me and My Scarecrow" on channel 945.
Another spin-off was created, however, after the death of Kratolsvinski, entitled Bobak the Builder. It showed what happened to the machines immediately after the end of Series 3. Heavily scripted, it was not well received and ran for only 8 episodes:
- Introducing Bobak: The machines are all bought out by rich Arab investor, Dr. Bobak Al-Buildah. Scoop, Dizzy, Muck and Lofty enjoy the life of monarchs living in a palace made entirely of platinum. (First appearance of Bobak).
- Stalking Camels: The team are entrigued by these strange animals. Muck crushes an innocent baby camel. Scoop builds a shrine to the dead camel and blanks Muck.
- HITLER'S BACK!: After getting bored living in caves in Afganistan ever since the morning Wendy burnt his favourite gloves and shovel, he decides to move to Dubai, where he meets the team building a new skyscraper. Hitler then lays eyes on their sexy new boss. Noises are heard from nearby bushes. Hitler and Bobak are missing.
- Room for one more: Hitler and Bobak return. Bobak announces Hitler is to move into the palace. Lifty envies Hitler.
- Bobak and the English football team: Bobak announces he has taken over Preston North End and plans to take them to the Champion's League. All the team including Hitler subsequently painted white with black highlights.
- Blank: A whole, breathtaking half hour of staring at the remains of Leafy the palm tree leaf. (First appearance of Leafy the Leaf)
- Sultan Leafy: Sultan of Brunei dies. Leafy takes up role. Team devastated, especially Bobak.
- さあ、それを得なさい: The Japanese customer's son from series two comes back with the Yakuza to get revenge on Muck and Dizzy. (Final appearance of Muck and Dizzy).
- Preston's glee: Preston are promoted to the promoted to the Premier League. Bobak hailed as best chairman on earth.
Others from the series[edit | edit source]
As you may know bob the builder was just the first of many shows where the main characters name had the first letter of their job title.
- Fred the farmer Can we raise it (so that it goes to the slaughterhouse)? YES WE CAN!
- Larry the lawyer Can we sue it? YES WE CAN!
- Cody the cop Can we arrest it? YES WE CAN!
- Peter the philanderer Can we go to second base with it? YES WE CAN!
- Paula the prostitute Can we fuck it? YES WE CAN!
- Marvin the murderer Can we kill it? YES WE CAN!
References[edit | edit source]
The John S. and James L. Knight Foundation
The National Endowment for the Arts
Uncyclomedia Foundation Inc.
And contributions from viewers like you. Thank you.
Uncyclopedia FiOS carries PBS, channel 2.