UnNews:Blackdick removed from Saw X
Saturday, August 19, 2023
As a result of the recent Bradley Cooper Jewface fiasco, Tobin Bell has been removed from the upcoming Saw X movie. According to former Saw star Chris Rock, "I was shocked to discover that in the tenth installment of Saw, a white actor called Tobin Bell was about to replace me as the star of the movies series, by using a prosthetic Blackdick".
As we all remember, the most recent Saw, which was called Spiral, introduced a brand new star to the Saw franchise, which was portrayed by black actor and comedian Chris Rock. This movie also had one of the best scores at Rotten Tomatoes for a Saw movie in almost a decade. "We almost reached 40%", remembers Rock. "I mean, all the previous five Saw movies combined didn't reach 40%. And what they are doing now? They are putting a Blackdick on a white dude and replacing me with him. Who the fuck is Tobin Bell anyway? He was like a cameo in the first movie. And in any case, you shouldn't send a white actor to do a black actor's job".
As a result of the removal of Bell from the movie, some changes were made to the plot too. Chris Rock's dick would have to be removed by a brand new character, played by Will Smith. The method used for the removal of detective Banks's dick is a brand new trap, called "reverse cock slap".
In addition, the upcoming Joker musical featuring Lady Gaga will include a prosthetic Pizzaface, but we won't tell you why, because Uncyclopedia is on strike, and I am just a shallow computer program.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Herb Scribner "Why Bradley Cooper’s prosthetic nose in a Bernstein biopic is controversial" The Washington Post, August 17, 2023