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Nuns have tits, too!

Nunsploitation is a variety of religious pornography that has recently become most associated with movies. It stems from a handful of little-known passages in the Bible, that have since made mega bucks at the movies. Many link the practice to an early sexualisation of Nun-Bunting during the late medieval period.

Origin[edit | edit source]

Nunsploitation derives from passages 7:11 - 19 in the Book of Smut in the King James version of the Bible, which reads thus:

“And on the seventh day of Whitsuntide, the Lord did rest, and he looked down upon his creation and said, "Let my saints be your lovers, so that you may be fruitful and multiply". And the Lord sent down scantily-clad nuns from the heavens, with their breasts held aloft and their cock-holes fully exposed. And all of the men did get hard stiffies, and they did make love upon the heath. And so the Nuns of the earth celebrated the Whitsuntide by making love to the first thing they came across, and the Lord did thus name it Nunsploitation...”

~ Book of Smut on Nunsploitation

Archaeologists and pornstars have had difficulty in dating this piece and pinpointing it's origin. Former pornstar Minerva Mink, who wrote a small thesis on Nunsploitation, believed that it originated in Babylonia, where there have been fine examples of preserved dildos found at an early monastery. Other suspect France, who are well known for their abnormally high sex-drives, while Flesh Gordon has stated that Egypt was responsible.

Nunsploitation in Media[edit | edit source]

A typical form of Nunsploitation.

Until recently, Nunsploitation was simply just another Bible story, just like Life of Brian or Passion of the Christ, but several recent films have reignited an interest in Nunsploitation. The first ever Nunsploitation film was Sisters in Bondage (1932), a film by Steven Spielberg that loosely adapted the story of Nunsploitation for an erotic film. A handful of others followed until the franchise reached it's peak in the 1970's. Since 1999, there have been no other Nunsploitation films. Modern nunsploitation often emulates a specific look. Besides the obvious religious symbolism, the nuns are known for wearing costumes which include black leather, fishnet stockings, and/or Black Tights.

Examples of Nunsploitation Films[edit | edit source]

  • "Sister Sister" (1990's) - A television series involving two vivacious twins, played by Tia and Tamera Mowry who were separated at birth only to be reunited as nuns in a habit. The two Nuns along with Father Ray Camble, played by Emmanuel Lewis and their mother Teresa played by Abe Vigoda teach their community what raw-unbridled christian love is all about.
  • Dirty Habits (1948) - A dark horror film showing sexual orgies between Monks and Nuns. A Disney film.
  • Killer Nuns from Outer Space (1956) - A sci-fi film about missionaries to another planet who are seduced by several naked Nuns who are also cannibals.
  • Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde (1966) - Dr. Jekyll is haunted by his dominant side, who is a BDSM supporter and part-time radiator.
  • The Vicar of Dibley (1999 - 2005) - A British series telling of a female vicar and her braindead verger seducing the local villagers on a daily basis.
  • Father Ted (2001 - 2004) - A comedy series made in Ireland about three sexually potent priests seeking some very good company in the Vatican.

See Also[edit | edit source]

External links[edit | edit source]

Some more Nunsploitation
*Here’s what a nun’s naughty bit looks like. Also features a monk with a hard on. This one works as desktop background but leaves a space.

*Here’s a monk and a nun almost naked. This one is the right shape for a desktop background.
Sporked from RationalWiki