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- Bienvenidos a la versión suiza de la desciclopedia, la enciclopedia neutral que cualquiera puede editar, siempre que disponga de suficientes fondos. Sophia ha abierto 40,654 cuentas de banco desde el mes de enero de 2005. Antes de editar nada, leas guías de beneficios de la Declaración de Guerra y manual de la neutralidad.
- Bienvenue à l'Uncyclopédia suisse, l'encyclopédie tout-à-fait neutre et fait complètement de fromage que n'importe qui peut redacter s'ils ont des fonds suffisants. Sophia a établi 40,654 comptes bancaires numérotés en suisse depuis l'ouverture en janvier 2005. Avant l'édition, lisez SVP les directives d'investissement, de bénéfice de guerre et le manuel de neutralité!
- Willkommen in der Schweizer Uncyclopedia, die neutrale Enzyklopädie, die, gänzlich frei von Käse, dafür sorgt, dass jeder veröffentlichen kann, der ausreichende Finanzen besitzt. Sophia hat seit der Öffnung im Januar 2005 ganze 40,654 Nummernkonten eröffnet. Vor der Ausgabe lesen Sie auf jeden Fall die Richtlinien der Investition von Kriegsgewinn und das Neutralitätshandbuch!
- Benvenuto al Uncyclopedia svizzero, l'enciclopedia neutra che chiunque può pubblicare ma soltanto se hanno fondi monetari suffient. Sophia ha aperto 40,654 clienti numerati della banca dall'apertura nel mese di gennaio del 2005. Prima della pubblicazione, legga prego la guida di riferimento di investimento di profitto di guerra ed il manuale di neutralità.
 A function is a relatively simple mathematical tool, used by great professors and not-so-great professors alike as a vital application to various numbers here and there to transform them into different numbers, but using the same process. This factor of regularity makes the function a fairly crucial aid in the mathematical equivalent of working in a Tibetan iPad packaging plant. Nevertheless, the sheer determination of those attempting to use the functions for a task as monotonous as the wrapping of poorly constructed imitation tablet computers made of cardboard and horse testicles is near incomparable with the mathematical geniuses of maths's heyday. Yes, such innovative use of functions is scant in this modern world of failing economy and MS Calculator. The great functions and formulae of the days when mathematics was valued above such things as charity and prostitution were simple things, yet elegantly complicated in the array of practical yet overly long sums the masters would come up with. Unfortunately, the limited attention span of the new generation faces us with a scarcity of four-dimensional thinking and an abundance of lustful masturbation in males. (Full article...) Recently featured: You can vote (even Women!) for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Selected anniversaries September 12: Captain Picard Appreciation Day
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Things happening in the rest of the world, which didn't make us a profit.
 Well, that says a lot...
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Hamas "peace talks" • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • SNL cast exodus • K-pop: The Movie • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys Recent deaths: Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome • Tom Lehrer • The system • FUBAR • Cartoon Network on Comcast's basic cable package • Sydney Sweeney's new movie • Terence Stamp • The Devil's Rejects Unrated Director's Cut 4K (also Saw 2 & 3) • Trump's pet sloth Upcoming deaths: DEI • R. Kelly and Bryan Kohberger (in jail) • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Dallas Cowboys' season • MSNBC • Lil Nas X • Donald Trump • Windows 10
Obviously you didn't know...From Uncyclopedia's Heads of States:
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Banker of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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