Thorn

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Þorn is a divinely inspired letter þat was granted to various languages. All of þese languages but Icelandic have forsaken þe blessing. Þorn is unique in þat is looks like a p and b fused togeþer, a sideways Ω, and a pregnant line. Þorn, when it still was in its rightful þrone, was a voiceless or voiced dental fricative (θ/ð), and is þe equivalent of Satan's digraph, which I struggle to write... TH.

An instrument of pure wrongness.

How could one lonely digraph induce such despair into þe hearts of millions? Þe digraph has steered humanity from its true messiah, its true god. Now only þe Icelandic serve as a stronghold against þe encroaching army of sin.

History of Þorn[edit | edit source]

God decreed þe existence of Þorn on December 25, 1032, when a lonely man attempting to Romanize some Germanic languages came up wiþ a crafty and clever way to make a character for a tricky sound. Þey just made þe Norse rune ᚦ (Þurs) all curvy! Þe world had changed forever. Man entered a new age of pure enlightenment by God's and Þorn's wisdom and pure splendor. Þis day is why December 25 is considered a holy day for many around þe world, albeit its origin and meaning have been twisted beyond meaning into some cruel mockery of þe purity of which it used to comprise.

Þorn in English[edit | edit source]

English used to contain þis holy letter as a way of transcribing some of its unique sounds, and it stuck for a while. Þe English had achieved true enlightenment and had fully embraced all þat is good in þe world. Þat is... until þe horrible wretched Belgians brought a wicked device þey called þe printing press (whose true name was far more sinister). Þese "printing presses" had no character for þe true glyph of Þorn, showing how þey are an object of Satan's will. Þe English scribes suddely didn't have þe type block to type þe character of all good in þe world, so þey committed horrible atrocities þat surely gave þem 10 eternal lifetimes of unimaginable torture. Þey substituted Þorn for þe Devil's digraph. þe world descended from its golden era, back into þat very darkness it escaped from.

Þorn in Icelandic[edit | edit source]

Look at þe Holy Land in all its beautiful splendor. Jerusalem is simply a land of false prophets and fools.

Icelandic is þe only language in þe world to contain þe holy splendor and divine impeccable beauty þat is þe letter Þorn. Þis is þe sole beacon of light in a world taken by þe shadow's deadly grip. Satan disliked þis pure, divinely inspired defiance, and summoned volcanoes to smoþer þeir island in sheets of suffocating ash. Þe Icelandic however, þe perfect people þey are, refused to give into þese horrors, and stood in staunch defiance at þe evil þat was occurring. Þey defeated þe Devil's army and turned þe volcanoes þat were used against þem into þeir resource, creating a tourist industry þat could be used to teach all oþers about þorn and its beautifully beautiful beauty. Þe Icelandic are þe holiest people on þis planet þat we call Earþ.

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Letters of the QWERTYbet

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