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All straight mans of every age, Would you like to get fucking AIDS? Have sex with us and you will see In our town of faggotry! This is faggotry! This is faggotry! Straight men scream in the dead of night. This is faggotry! Everybody make a scream, AIDS and orgy till the gods gonna die in sight It's our town, all the straight men scream, In the town of faggotry. I am the one having sex with your dad. Cock with warts and eyes glowing red. (Full article...) Recently featured: Video essay Charlie Kirk Cyberbullying Velociraptor Archive · Vote for featured articles · Featured today, a long long time ago Nigel Farage, featured on 26 October 2024: Featured version Did you know... *... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore? ... tennis isn't just a game? ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore? ... tennis isn't just a game? ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore? ... tennis isn't just a game? ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?	In the news One simply cannot piss until he scans this. Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years The US government continues to shit itself Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake (Pictured) BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland Angela Rayner defects to Reform UK Hollow Knight: Silksong gets released; Steam crashes for the second time this year Some mega pop star and her football player boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay. NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C. Recent deaths: Trump's pet sloth • Robert Redford • U.S. Federal Government • Jane Goodall • The Yankees' World Series dreams • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Drew Struzan • Windows 10 • D'Angelo • YouTube player's old design • Ace Frehley Upcoming deaths: DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career• Coral reefs • Capitalism in NYC • 2025 Major League Baseball season On this day... October 26: International Time Travel Day 1822 - In theaters this summer: The Rock discovers the secret to time travel, goes back in time to kill Hitler, only to realize Hitler wasn't born yet. 1921 - Highlander comes forward a billion years and impales Sean Connery on a parking meter, revenge ensues. 1988 - Bill and Ted build a time machine out of a phone booth for access to space porn. 1988 - Proto-Emo angsty teenage outsider, Donnie Darko, avoids being killed by a time-traveling jet engine by sleeping on a golf course/is killed by a time-traveling jet engine. 1994 - First Time Cop trained; turns into serial killer, but accidentally destroys own grandmother, creating a paradox called Doctor Who.
Featured picture Eugene Krabs stands in awe before his establishment as Donald Trump enacts his wonderful tariffs. Image credit: SystemPhantom View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You only have 5 (five!) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!