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Archaeology, or archæology (from Αρχαίος, nobody cares, and Λογος, the study of not caring) is the study of really really old stuff. Many people confuse archaeology with archeology due to the almost identical spelling and the fact that they mean the same thing. While seemingly pointless, archaeologists assert that we can learn lots of new things by looking at old things, despite the immediate logical impossibilities. Most archaeologists are full of theories with their "carbon dating" witchcraft. As Archaeology for Kids! host Bryan Williamson once said, "I mean, carbon atoms don't have sex, do they? Why should they date then if they can't do anything freaky with electrons in the privacy of a high speed collision chamber? Ok now I have got that off my chest, I will return to imagining how dead people once lived." The first reported archaeologist was a king of Babylonia called Nabonidus in the 6th century B.C. He was so keen at preserving old buildings that he neglected to look after his country and was overthrown by Cyrus the Great of Persia. Modern historians, who are to archaeologists as strippers are to losers, know this to be true as Nabonidus's discarded monogrammed shorts and trowel were found embedded in ancient ruins that belonged to civilisations much older than his. (Full article...) Recently featured: An image built one pixel at a time Rhode Island Warner Bros. Horatio Nelson, 1st Viscount Nelson Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it? ... that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians? ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it? ... that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians? ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it? ... that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians? ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it?	In the news Nee-owm! Kardashian and Ye do washed up things Loneliness is to this university, kinda We have road copters (Pictured) Mummy Pig's pregnancy sparks paternity drama Heinz Doofenshmirtz finally takes full control over the Tri-State Area UnNews remembers Michelle Trachtenberg Cinema ceiling makes dramatic entrance during Captain America screening UnSports update for February! USA and Canada take their trade war to the ice hockey rink. Literally. Philadelphia Eagles ruin Super Bowl "3‑peat" dreams for Kansas City Chiefs, Taylor Swift And more! DOGE implements micromanaging P. Diddy's lawyer quits, says Diddy did it Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI • Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel‑Hamas conflict • ICE rounding up illegal immigrants • Taylor Swift's very unlucky, no good year • DOGE firings and budget cuts • The Oscars • Hackman investigation Recent deaths: The Department of Justice • Michelle Trachtenberg • Gene Hackman, wife and dog, too • Skype • Kingda Ka • David Johansen, The New York Dolls, and Buster Poindexter • Amiright/Inthe00s • UnSpoiler and BeGone extensions • Space Ghost • Everyone's assumption that Millie Bobby Brown is her real name • Tesla's stock • Bob Rivers Upcoming deaths: Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • Law and order in Philadelphia • Jay‑Z's career and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Your New Year's resolutions • Los Angeles • Laura Palmer • DEI, for better or for worse • Pope Francis On this day... March 18: World Happiness Day 51,000 BC - World Happiness Day is declared with a series of rhythmic grunts when two homo erecti discover fire. 1906 - Pope declares suicide a mortal sin, worse than butt sex, watching anime and murder. 1953 - Senator Joseph McCarthy briefly bans Kitten Huffing, but later retracts said decree, claiming he "was high off [his] ass." 1954 - Scientists fist discover the Moon, they later find out it wasn't really the Moon they discovered, but the Sun. 1985 - Australia's version of EastEnders premieres to the public, however, it made Aussies more happier than expected. 1993 - The Sun tells scientists it and earth should "Just be friends," the sun promises to call every few weeks. 2008 - After numerous requests by the American public, God finally damns It, It is never found. 2016 - A rerun of the smash hit TV show Full House is shown around the world, millions kill themselves, unable to stand the torture.
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners