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DO... For nominators: DO... ... Find articles that suck by checking here, here and here. Many articles avoid the police for years before someone trips over them. ... Read Uncyclopedia's deletion policy to make sure the article is eligible. If you abuse VFD you will be abused with the claw-end of a hammer. ... Check the page-history! It may have been vandalized or just edited by morons. If so, find a better version and revert to it. ... Add {{vfd}} to the article. Failure to do so may result in hemorrhoids. You have been warned. ... Vote and include a comment as to why you have nominated the article. For voters: DO... ... Edit the section for the article you are addressing. ... Pick a space under the appropriate heading (Keep, Delete, Comment), adding your sig/comment, preceded by a '#', like so: '''#'''This article isn't funny. <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki> ... Remember to sign and timestamp your vote with four tildes. Unsigned votes will be removed and their owners defenestrated. You have been warned, again. (Full article...) Recently featured: Cigarette butt Plain Old Elim Garak Mutant Mammoth of Mayhem Antonio Brown Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped? ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit? ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped? ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit? ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped? ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit? ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?	In the news Let's Buy Weird Al from Musk – Uncyc's Next Big Adventure! Support our fake album and win a free Palestinian! (Pictured) The Philadelphia Eagles steal the NFL's script and prevent the Kansas City Chiefs from 3‑peating Philadelphia will burn to the ground as a result. Taylor Swift also begins writing her new breakup song for Travis Kelce; it goes something like "Dreamed of a 3‑peat, but you fumbled the play – Lost the Super Bowl and me the same day." Ye has officially lost his fucking mind for the millionth time Donald Trump announces grand opening of the Sierra Gaza Biden announced as new Bond after signing with CAA Trump Taken audition leaked Kendrick Lamar wins five Grammys AND performs Not Like Us at the SuperBowl to over 100 million people, much to Drake's dismay Smokey the Bear revealed to be cause of LA fires NASA headquarters explode as major star goes on break The Ohio State wins skibidi championship rizz In an alternate universe, Notre Dame wins and saves us all from this monstrosity Elon Musk "accidentally" does a tribute to ... y'know Time travelers protest Trump's inauguration, reveal we're stuck in a time loop TikTok gets banned and unbanned in the US within 24 hours Who's performing at Trump inauguration? (2025) Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI • Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel‑Hamas conflict • ICE actually doing their job and rounding up illegal immigrants • Taylor Swift's very unlucky, no good year • Eagles fans rioting and eating horseshit in celebration, again Recent deaths: The Kansas City Chiefs Dynasty and Patrick Mahomes's legacy • Jimmy Carter • Liberal Party of Canada • Aaron Rodgers' career • Jean‑Marie Le Pen • Peter Yarrow • Anita Bryant • Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • David Lynch • Bob Uecker • Dame Joan Plowright Upcoming deaths: Philadelphia • Travis Kelce's sham relationship with Taylor Swift and his career • TikTok, for real this time • Bashar al‑Assad • Diddy's freedom • Jay‑Z's career and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Your New Year's resolutions • Los Angeles • Laura Palmer • DEI, for better or for worse On this day... February 13: Simple English Day 1689 - William and Mary run Damp Islandland with each other, instead of having fights like normal marriage. 1880 - Stealy Inventorman finds out about light bulbs from some of his friends, so he steals it and makes lots of money, but loses friends along the way. 1960 - Angry wine people, after Damp Islandland gets big explodey mushrooms, decide to make their own big explodey mushrooms. 1990 - After drunk commies collapse into a big pile of nothing, Nofunzoneland and East Nofunzoneland come together to have no fun together. 1991 - Shooty Shooty Freedomland bombs a shelter and kills 400 innocent sandy people, for looking like the people who will blow up the Twin Towers 10 years from now. 2008 - Big Parliament Man of Underland, Kevin Rudd, makes a sorry for his pale people friends killing all the brown people. 2017 - Brother of fat, bad Korean rocket man is stuck with poison by murder people, because sometimes, friend, family is hard. 2021 - The British watch calmly from the sidelines as Orange Man is acquitted from incitement of insurrection.
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners