Worst 100 Songs To Have Sex To
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- See Unified Law of Subsequent Albums for more information on the scientific causes relating to music.
According to Madonna's True Word, the following are the Worst 100* Songs To Have Sex To. Readers are required to have their condoms to hand.
* Madonna does not care to count this list too closely, as she is too busy stealing African children.
130 - 121[edit | edit source]
- 130. "Careless Whisper" - George Michael
- 129. "Ding Dong Song" - Günther
- 128. "Silent Night"
- 127. "In the Navy" - Village People
- 126. "Last Resort" - Papa Roach
- 125. "Rappin' for Jesus" - Pastor Jim
- 124. "Sex Offender Shuffle" - Scott Gaidner
- 123. Jaws Theme - John Williams
- 122. "Sugar Walls"- Sheena Easton
- 121. "Trololo" - Eduard Khil
120-111[edit | edit source]
- 120. "O'Children" - Nick Cave
- 119. "Think I'd Better Leave Right Now" - Will Young
- 118. "I Love You, You Love Me" - Barney
- 117. "Stairway to Heaven" - Led Zeppelin
- 116. "Jizz in My Pants" - The Lonely Island
- 115. "Keep it on Wax" - Alexisonfire
- 114. "Bite the Pain" - Death
- 113. "Tell Slater Not to Wash His Dick" – Bring Me The Horizon
- 112. "Already Over" -Red
- 111. "The Morning After" - Faith No More
110-101[edit | edit source]
- 110."Best of Both Worlds" - Hannah Montana
- 109. "Smack My Bitch Up" - The Prodigy
- 108. "Creep" - Radiohead
- 107. "Family Guy Theme Song" - Barney
- 106. "Maneater" - Hall & Oates
- 105. "How Do You Like Me Now? - Toby Keith
- 104. "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off" - Jermaine Stewart
- 103. "Pretty Fly" - The Offspring
- (Give it to me baby..uh-huh, uh-huh.) I think you get the idea.
- 102. "We Didn't Start the Fire" - Billy Joel
- 101. "Four Sticks" - Led Zeppelin
100-91[edit | edit source]
- 100. "You Suffer" - Napalm Death
- You'd have to be bloody quick to have sex to this!
- 99. "The Final Contdown" - Europe
- 98. "Revolution #9" - The Beatles
- 97. "Bleed it Out" - Linkin Park
- I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away, I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away, I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away, just to throw it away, just to throw it away, I bleed it out
- 96. "A Bitch is a Bitch" - NWA
- 95. "Take Me Down To Funky Town" - Lipps Inc.
- 94. "Raining Blood" - Slayer
- 93. "A Boy Named Sue" - Johnny Cash
- 92. "Cotton Eye Joe" - Rednex
- 91. "Come On Eileen" - Dexys Midnight Runners
90-81[edit | edit source]
- 90. "Can You Feel It" - The Jacksons
- 89. "To Rid the Disease" - Opeth
- 88. "I'll Be There For You" (The Theme Song from Friends) - The Rembrandts
- 87. "Ring Of Fire" - Johnny Cash
- 86. "Bone Broke" - The White Stripes
- 85. "The Hampster Dance" - Hampton the Hamster
- 84. "Safety Dance" - Men Without Hats
- 83. "I Want To Break Free" - Queen
- 82. "Dude Looks Like a Lady" - Aerosmith
- 81. "I Hate Everything About You" - Three Days Grace
- 80. "Surfing Bird" - The Trashmen
80-71[edit | edit source]
- 80. "The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down" - Cliff Friend and Dave Franklin
- 79. "Fake It" - Seether
- 78. "Folsom Prison Blues" - Johnny Cash
- 77. "I Am The Walrus" - The Beatles
- 76. "It Wasn't Me" - Rik Rok and Shaggy
- 75. "She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain"
- 74. "Crazy Bitch" - Buckcherry
- 73. "It's Raining Men" - The Weather Girls
- 72. "Doin' The Mess Around" - Ray Charles
- 71. "Who Are You" - The Who
70-61[edit | edit source]
- 70. "Rape Me" - Nirvana
- 69. "How Could This Happen To Me" - Simple Plan
- 68. "Who's Your Daddy?" - Toby Keith
- 67. "I Think I'm Going Bald" - Rush
- 66. "Dead Bodies Everywhere" - Korn
- 65. "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" - Eiffel 65
- 64. "Oh Yeah" - Yello (From Ferris Bueller's Day Off)
- 63. "Macho Man" - Village People
- 61. "Heaven Is One Step Away" - Eric Clapton
60-51[edit | edit source]
- 60. "Impossible Brutality" - Kreator
- 58. "Excitable Boy" - Warren Zevon
- 57. "Sex, Murder, Art." - Slayer
- 56. "Phoenix (Basement Jaxx Remix)" - Daft Punk
- 55. "Who Wants To Live Forever" - Queen
- 54. "Pain" - Three Days Grace
- 53. "She's Got Balls" - AC/DC
- 52. "Only The Young" - Journey
- 51. "Strange Brew" - Cream
50-41[edit | edit source]
- 50. "It Don't Come Easy" - Ringo Starr
- 49. "Rock You Like a Hurricane" - The Scorpions
- 48. "I Ain't The One" - Lynyrd Skynyrd
- 47. "Cold As Ice" - Foreigner
- 46. "So Into You" - Atlanta Rhythm Section
- 45. "Party Boy Theme Song" from Jackass
- 44. "Remember Tomorrow" - Iron Maiden
- 43. "I Cum Blood" - Cannibal Corpse
- 42. "The Camera Eye" - Rush
- 41. "They're Gonna Taste Great" - Kellogs Frosties
40-31[edit | edit source]
- 40. "Old Man" - Neil Young
- 39. "Touch Me" - The Doors
- 38. "Fucked to Death" - Devourment
- 37. "For My Father" - Andy Mckee
- 36. "Pull the Plug" - Death
- 35. "The Bad Touch" - The Bloodhound Gang
- 34. "Chainsaw Gutsfuck" - Mayhem
- 33. "U Can't Touch This" - MC Hammer
- 32. "Virus Alert" - Weird Al Yankovic
- 31. "Bitch I'll Kill Ya" - Yung Dum Basturd
30-21[edit | edit source]
- 30."Land Down Under" - Men At Work
- 29. "Abducted" - Hypocrisy
- 28. "Strangers Like Me" - Phil Collins
- 27. "Monochromatic Stains" - Dark Tranquillity
- 26. "Taste My..." - Chimaira
- 25. "Die By the Sword" - Slayer
- 24. "Raped By The Light Of Christ" - At The Gates
- 23. "Coerced Coexistence" - In Flames
- 22. "Fuck Her Gently" - Tenacious D
- 21. "Don't Stand So Close To Me" - The Police
20-11[edit | edit source]
- 20. "Breaking Up Is Hard Do Do" - Neil Sedaka
- 19. "Somebody's Watching Me" - Rockwell
- 18. "I Get Around" - The Beach Boys
- 17. "April Come She Will" - Simon & Garfunkel
- (especially if it's February)
- 16. "She Hates Me" - Puddle of Mudd
- 15. "Why Don't We Do It In The Road" - The Beatles
- 14. "Relax" - Frankie Goes To Hollywood
- 13. "Satisfaction" - (The Residents cover. The original Rolling Stones version is fine.)
- 12. "Peanut Butter Jelly Time"
- 11 "Violent Pornography" - System of a Down (Unless you're into that sort of thing.)
10-1[edit | edit source]
- 10. "Stop" - Pink Floyd
- 9. "Achy Breaky Heart" - Billy Ray Cyrus
- 8. "Loser" - Beck
- 7. "I Touch Myself" - Madonna
- 6. "Doing Alright With The Boys" - Gary Glitter
- 5. "Spongebob Squarepants Theme Song" - Weird Al Yankovic
- 4. "Never Gonna Give You Up" - Rick Astley
- 3. "Distant Early Warning" - Rush
- 2. "Here Comes the Bride"
- 1. "I'm Coming Out" - Diana Ross
Special Addition All Time Song You're Never Supposed to Have Sex To:[edit | edit source]
- 0. "You Keep Me Hangin' On!" - Diana Ross and the Supremes