Print Screen
“The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Print Screen”
Print Screen is not just any button on a computer keyboard. The Print screen key is evil and should never be touched except in cases of extreme emergency.
Truly, the print screen key is not a thing to be trifled with. Tell friends how great it is so you can laugh at them when they get fired for looking at unflattering pornographic pictures on their screen.
It is actually the button that connects your system to Patty Hearst's newsroom, the National Exxagerator, Time-Warner, Fox, Gannett and the massive, sentient computer that controls the corporate media conspiracy of the United States of America, sending all of your most confidential files for publication on page one of today's national fishwrap.
The media's power for evil grows every day, and only the un-born son of Paris Hilton will save us.
What it does[edit | edit source]
- Prints unflattering pictures on your computer screen
- Makes your screensaver display porn
- The Dot-Matrix printer, prints for all eternity...
- Gets you fired from your job
- On a VCR though, it doesn't do any of these things, it makes the printer print continuously the picture on the TV screen and it will never stop. Soon your room will be full of paper.
- It makes you wonder if your screen actually fits in your printer.
- The one advantage is that 'user' can finally copy his current progress (if they're lucky and it doesn't do any of the above. Life's a risk: live with it!), print it out and take it elsewhere to continue their works. NEATO!
Reasons[edit | edit source]
- It hates you
- It wants you to die in horrible ways
- See above
- All of the above
- None of the above
- Bubble C (Usually [1/10] Correct)
SysRq[edit | edit source]
The letters "SysRq" located on the Print Screen key are of unknown purpose. It is said that in ancient times it was made to allow for yet another way for naïve computer users to void the warranty on their PC. Recently that function has been removed, and now it mostly just looks stylish.
However, a prophecy made by ancient Egyptian philosophers decrees that if any human ever understands the precise purpose of SysRq, the laws of motion will be repealed, water will start falling up, black holes will repel and the entire universe will collapse into a small bead of molten liquid the size of a small peanut. This is widely regarded the earliest account of the apocalypse, although some religions dispute that claim.
Esc | F1 | F2 | F3 | F4 | F5 | F6 | F7 | F8 | F9 | F10 | F11 | F12 | F16 | PrtSc SysRq |
ScLk | Pau Brk |
Pwr |
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! 1 |
@ 2 |
# 3 |
$ 4 |
% 5 |
^ 6 |
& 7 |
* 8 |
( 9 |
) 0 |
_ - |
+ = |
←Bkspc | Ins | Home | PgUp | Num | / | * | - | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Tab↔ | Q | W | E | R | T | Y | U | I | O | P | { [ |
} ] |
| \ |
Del | End | PgDn | 7 | 8 | 9 | + | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Caps | A | S | D | F | G | H | J | K | L | : ; |
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←Enter | Copy | Any | Paste | 4 | 5 | 6 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
↑Shift | Z | X | C | V | B | N | M | < , |
> . |
? / |
↑Shift | ↑ | 1 | 2 | 3 | Ent | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Fn | Ctrl | Alt | s p a c e b a r | Alt | ⌘ | Ctrl | Opt | ← | ↓ | → | 0 | . |
○ | ൠ | ☃ | ♣️ | ♠ | ♥ | ♦️ | ☼ | † | ✡ | 卐 | _ - |
+ = |
Cast Spell→ | Launch Nuke | LOL! | Lose weight | Num | / | * | - | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Dust↔ | Q | Þ | Ǝ | Я | £ | Y | Ü | € | Ф | ß | { [ |
} ] |
| \ |
Error | Next > |
Push | 711 | GR8 | 911 | + | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Abcdef | A! | Å | α | Ѧ | Æ | ∆ | J | Ж | Ł | : ; |
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←Unicode | Oh, SHIT! | Duh | Click Here | 42 | 5 | 69 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
↓Shift | Z | X | ¢ | Ħ | β | ∩ | π | , | ... | ‽ \ |
↑Ekrpat | ↑ | 1+1 | Y2K | 300 | Ent | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Miss | Magic | ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ | Broke | ⌘ | Ugh | ← | ↓ | → | ∞ | . |