Forum:12 Nights Of Potato Day: Call for Content

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Screenshot of the reskin taken December 6th

Hello everyone. Over the past week I have set up a page to work on our next reskin: The 12 Nights of Potato Day. The idea of the reskin is that we have invented a holiday to celebrate the founding of Uncyclopedia (January 5, 2005) over the course of the 12 preceding nights. The reskin is planned to be active from 00:00 UTC December 25, 2020 until 00:00 UTC January 6, 2021. In a perfect world we would have enough content to change everything on the Main Page each night at midnight during the reskin with fresh jokes about about Potato Day. It may not be realistic to attempt changing everything every day, but I would like to gather 12 fake featured article blurbs from 12 different users so each day can have a new "featured article". We will also need submissions for the "In the News", "Did You Know?", "On This Day", and "Featured Image" boxes, the more the better. You may submit content ideas on this forum page or if you'd like you can add them directly to the reskin. -- The Zombiebaron 22:59, 6 December 2020 (UTC)

For fake featured article blurbs, I'm assuming you just want a title, short description, and maybe an image, not a full article, correct? MrX blow me 14:40, 7 December 2020 (UTC)

Yes -- The Zombiebaron 20:04, 7 December 2020 (UTC)

Fake Featured Article Blurbs

The first 12 submissions will be "featured" during the 12 Nights of Potato Day

• You should definitely refeature negative potato. I'll try to write a featurable article involving potatoes in the three couple days. I'll ask a couple users if they'll collaborate. ShabiDOO 21:04, 29 December 2020 (UTC)

  Ok, sounds great. I would prefer something new (blurbs only have to be two paragraphs), but if the spaces are left empty I will definitely be refeaturing old classics. You also have more than 3 days as the final deadline is January 4th 23:59 UTC. -- The Zombiebaron 00:34, 30 December 2020 (UTC)

December 25: The Potato Hostage Crisis of 1995

Is this the sort of thing you're looking for? Should I add/change anything or elaborate? DoctorJones (talk) 18:12, 8 December 2020 (UTC)

Its great so far, but it should be a bit longer. For an example of the sort of length it should be check out today's featured article. -- The Zombiebaron 18:18, 8 December 2020 (UTC)

December 26: Latka

Too short?? ~ Kakun · talk 07:59, 9 December 2020 (UTC)

Because of the script format it fills enough space. Thanks! -- The Zombiebaron 12:42, 9 December 2020 (UTC)

I hope we can make all 12 blurbs. Great idea ZB! ~ Kakun · talk 13:55, 9 December 2020 (UTC)

December 27:Bek Air Flight 2100

I think it's about the right length. Naturally I welcome any additions/enhancements! MrX blow me 00:07, 15 December 2020 (UTC)

December 28:Irish Potato Diaspora

Trying to combine the Great Famine with Irish diaspora. I think it worked out nicely, but as usual feel free to add/change anything. MrX blow me 17:46, 15 December 2020 (UTC)

December 29: Two Naked Spuddies

MrX made 2 so I did too... ~ Kakun · talk 16:42, 16 December 2020 (UTC)

Yeah I'm gonna try to make even more so that we hopefully hit 12, but if other people start making some then obviously we can remove some of mine. MrX blow me 16:45, 16 December 2020 (UTC)

Of course... And these might even turn into real articles in the future. ~ Kakun · talk 17:11, 16 December 2020 (UTC)

December 30:London Spuddington Station

Parody of station I've been to many times. Might add an image tomorrow. ~ Hipponias^CUN - Talk - Contribs - Articles  20:05, 16 December 2020 (UTC)

December 31:David Spudder

I might add an image. Feel free to edit. ᙀﬨὶ⸦𝝧Ԃల ❨𝖙ลƖԞ❫ 22:26, 16 December 2020 (UTC)

January 1: Spuds

• Thank you for you enthusiasm Kakun, however I will kindly ask you to stop making blurbs so that other users have a chance to participate. The deadline for each day's content is that day, so there is no need to worry about January content quite yet. -- The Zombiebaron 02:10, 23 December 2020 (UTC)

I see, I thought we had 1.5 days... just consider my last 2 ones as reserves. ~ Kakun · talk 02:16, 23 December 2020 (UTC)

January 2: Spuds Of The Dead

Now we're talking... it's potato time up in this hizzaz Nicolassequeira (talk) 02:28, 23 December 2020 (UTC)

Thank you Nicolas, but do you think you could expand the blurb a bit? About two paragraphs long fits nicely in the box. -- The Zombiebaron 02:40, 23 December 2020 (UTC)

Good idea. Nicolassequeira (talk) 03:43, 23 December 2020 (UTC)

In the news

• Tech magnate Johnny Spooky bends to employee demands, gives them a full hour for Potato Day vacation rather than the 12 minutes originally mandated
• Gov. Gavin Newsom declares California can have potatoes instead of COVID vaccine
• Lizzo sparks body debate with 10-day potato diet
• Ex-president-elect Donald Trump sues a potato for election fraud

Did you know...

• ... that the potato is an aphrodisiac? (Pictured)
• ... that all Potato Puns have been declared "pomme de terrible" by Uncyclopedian Court of Root Vegetable Rights?
• ... that eating french fries is plant cruelty?
• ... that the potato is a unit of Irish currency, equivalent to 100 Lucky Charms?
• ... that it’s pronounced “potato” not “potato”?
• ... that the square root of negative potato is equal to i?
• ... that "potatoes" is an anagram of "ape toots"?
• ... that the first Potato Day was celebrated almost 300 years before the the Jews invented Hanukkah?
• ... that McDonald's commits frequent plant cruelty?

On this day

December 25: I wish I could eat french fries every day! (subpage)

• 4 AD - The Blessed St. Mary the Virgin, Mother of God decides not to beat her slimy bastard infant with a sack of potatoes.
• 1066 - William the Conqueror is crowned king of England in a giant potato in London.
• 1776 - George Washington crosses the Delaware River to purchase potatoes.
• 1892 - A young child from Wichita, Kansas, actually gets a partridge in a pear tree for Christmas. Child distraught since he wanted a potato.
• 1950 - Political potato Karl Rove is born.
• 1984 - ACLU lawyers successfully petition advertisers to start calling Christmas The Potato Season.
• 1990 - After months of violent protests, children of Atheist couples finally get Christmas potatoes. Jesus still hates their guts, though.
• 1991 - Mikhail Gorbachev resigns as President of the Potato Union. Ukraine finalizes referendum and officially leaves the Potato Union.

December 26: The one day women poop. It smells like potatoes (subpage)

• 17 - Jesus takes up boxing, begins training by punching a sack of potatoes.
• 698 - King Arthur has a white wine with his potato pie instead of a red, the round table become concerned.
• 1919 - Babe Ruth of the Boston Red Sox is sold to the New York Yankees for three potatoes.
• 1954 - The first demonstration of computer speech is performed in Georgetown University by an IBM machine, it says: suck a potato nerds.
• 1959 - The U.S. Government sends Fidel Castro fifteen crates of the finest American potatoes, which only look like live IED's.
• 1966 - African-Americans, angry at the song "I'm Dreaming of a Whites-Only Potato Day", create their own holiday, Kwanzaa.
• 1991 - The Supreme Soviet of the Potato Union meets and formally dissolves the Potato Union, ending the Cold War.
• 2006 - Gerald Ford, the potato who pardoned Nixon, dies.

December 27: Learn to Say Potato in a Foreign Language Day (subpage)

• 1587 - Germans are introduced to the "potato" and decide to call it "einbraunerklumpenstärkeundverstopfung."
• 1847 - Ireland officially runs out of potatoes during the Irish Potato Famine and resorts to eating their lightly salted children.
• 1902 - The world's oldest fossilized potato is discovered in Egypt. It is eaten and reported to have a taste comparable to Pringles.
• 1992 - Dan Quayle misspells "potato" and is removed from office by Congress. A potato would be inaugurated a year later to replace him.
• 2019 - Some people die in Kazakhstan after Bek Air puts them on a potato instead of an airplane.

December 28: Potato Appreciation Day (subpage)

• 1890 - Idaho becomes a state and elects George L. Soup, a potato, as Governor.
• 1912 - The "unsinkable" Titanic sinks after striking a potato in the Atlantic Ocean.
• 1985 - Studs and Spuds, the first pornographic film featuring potatoes (pictured), is made.
• 2006 - Uncyclopedians lose count at the sheer number of anniversaries with potatoes in them.

December 30: Feast of Potatoes Day (subpage)

• 1569 - English merchants propose a national game by which the poorest of society freely and willingly give their potatoes to the rich with no hope of a reward; they call it a lottery.
• 1610 - Galileo Galilei discovers the fourth satellite of Jupiter, but initially confuses it for a potato.
• 1776 - Thomas Paine publishes the pamphlet Common Sense, arguing that anyone who disagrees with Potato Independence should be institutionalized.
• 1810 - Napoleon Bonaparte and Empress Joséphine separate; she takes Prussia, half of France, and all of his potatoes in the divorce.
• 1977 - Pac-Man is admitted to rehab due to a debilitating potato addiction.
• 1979 - Disco dies of a potato overdose, grunge soon to follow.
• 2001 - Wikipedia, the aggregate of all mankind's knowledge, goes online, first article is a picture of Jimbo Wales eating a potato.
• 2012 - Cruise ship Costa Concordia tips over on its side after a celebrity cooking class puts potatoes in their pasta carbonara.

December 31: Fuck, How Many Potatoes Did I Eat This Whole Fucking Year? Day (subpage)

• 1265 - The first ever House of Parliament is convened, first item on agenda is, "Do the peasants have too many potatoes?"
• 1788 - The Scottish convince the world they need to sing on New Year's Eve at Midnight, writes song to be sung with a mouth full of potatoes.
• 1789 - George Washington makes speech declaring himself eternal Godking of the 13 colonies, is brought back to his senses with a stiff drink, large fries, and a good nap.
• 1850 - Millard Fillmore installs the White House's first potato cannon.
• 1900 - The first ball thing, a potato, to drop when the year ends is invented, initially as a terrorist ploy by Irish extremists.
• 1961 - Dwight D. Eisenhower makes final speech warning America about the potato that lives in your closet.
• 1965 - A maple leaf accidentally falls on top of the potato on a picture of the newly designed Canadian flag, is accidentally included after photocopies are sent.
• 2013 - To curb certain "unfounded" stereotypes of French people, France invades Northern Mali: troops immediately go on strike due to a lack of potatoes.

January 1: Break Your No More French Fries New Year's Resolution Day (subpage)

• 65M BC - For his new year's resolution, God promises to stop throwing giant potatoes at Earth when upset.
• 1812 - Napoleon Bonaparte vows not to start a potato war in Asia.
• 1981 - A potato-powered Pringle vortex is opened for the first time.
• 1994 - Ted Kaczynski says to himself, "This is my last potato bomb."
• 1998 - Mr. Potato Head is arrested in Los Angeles in the early morning for DUI.

Wheres the potatoes? DoctorJones (talk) 14:33, 9 December 2020 (UTC)

so just potato huh G.L.S. (TP) 14:34, 9 December 2020 (UTC)

Added more potato. G.L.S. (TP) 14:37, 9 December 2020 (UTC)

January 2: Recover from Holiday Hangover Day (subpage)

• 1839 - Night of the Big Wind hits Ireland with gusts of flatulence after the communal stew is laced with rotten potatoes.
• 1929 - Mother Teresa arrives in India, ready to give starving peasants the food of life, Jesus, which is far more nourishing than any potatoes.
• 1941 - Franklin D. Roosevelt gives his famous Four Freedoms Speech: freedom to yell at town halls, freedom to worship Jesus, freedom to eat lots of potatoes, and freedom to fucking die.
• 1950 - The United Kingdom officially apologises for the heinous crime of stealing potatoes from China, but it's too little too late.
• 2010 - Uranus officially undergoes name change to avoid ridicule, henceforth called Urectum.
• 2011 - Urectum undergoes yet another name change to avoid new ridicule, will now be called Urmom.
• 2012 - Urmom gives up trying to avoid ridicule, undergoes one final name change to be called Potato Planet; astronomers confirm that the world will end this year.

January 3: Throw Potatoes at Old People Day (Spain) (subpage)

• 3 - First payday after Christmas, family potatowinners sigh and spend their money on cheap spirits.
• 1948 - Mel Gibson is deported to Australia for abusing his potatoes.

January 4: International Potato Suffering Day (subpage)

• 1666 - The Great Fire of London begins as the Christmas potatoes are taken down too close to a naked flame.
• 1995 - Neil Diamond is kidnapped and forced to listen to his own music for seven consecutive days by genetically modified potatoes.

January 5: Guillotine Potatoes Day (France) (subpage)

• 1789 - Joseph-Ignace Guillotin first proposes the idea of a simple cutting mechanism by which the heads of potato scum are efficiently detached.
• 2010 -Potatowave goes mainstream with the release of Taterjams Vol. 1.

Featured Image

Other ideas

A Carol

Please change any of these if you have better ideas.

(prefix with 11 verses as per Twelve Nights of Christmas)

On the twelfth night of Potato, Oscar Wilde gave to me:
Twelve steps of failing,
Eleven stoners smoking,
Ten losers gaming,
Nine hens named Ty,
Eight grues a-eating,
Seven holes of glory,
Six floppy dildos,
Five more dildos,
AAAA AAAAAAA AAAAA,
Three unhuffed kittens,
Two cows a-mooing,
And an iPod that was totally free.

Reskin is now active

The reskin is currently up on the Main Page. Each day's feature blurb and On This Day sections will be included at midnight UTC. If there are any problems with the reskin, or if you have anything you'd like added, this is the place for talking about that. May everyone have a prosperous Potato Day. -- The Zombiebaron 00:05, 25 December 2020 (UTC)