User:Zombiebaron/Uncyclopedia Reskin Committee/Winter2020/Dec31

David Spudder, also known as the Bane of Yams, was a leading figure in the 1753 War of Spuddery, who fought for Spuddian independence from the (self-proclaimed) great Yam Nation. Spudder was a lowly private who rose up the ranks of the Spud Army to, at his peak, become the Brigadier General. He fell into obscurity after his death in the Battle of Mashing.

Spudder was born in 1737 to a wealthy family. His parents were both doctors, and his sister, named Amanda, had a successful career as a laundromat. As a child, he dreamed of venturing into space and landing on the moon. His mother was quick to inform him that it would never happen. His dreams crushed, he decided to join the army, because it looked fun (The Yam Nation had lenient age restrictions). Around the time he joined, the Spud-Yam divide was heating up, and Spuds were starting to protest. When the war started, Spudder was still a private. He was posted on the Kennebec Line, one of the major battlegrounds of the war. (Full article...)