User:Zombiebaron/Uncyclopedia Reskin Committee/Winter2020/OnThisDay/Jan02

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Potatoplanet.jpg

January 02: Recover from Holiday Hangover Day

  • 1839 - Night of the Big Wind hits Ireland with gusts of flatulence after the communal stew is laced with rotten potatoes.
  • 1929 - Mother Teresa arrives in India, ready to give starving peasants the food of life, Jesus, which is far more nourishing than any potatoes.
  • 1941 - Franklin D. Roosevelt gives his famous Four Freedoms Speech: freedom to yell at town halls, freedom to worship Jesus, freedom to eat lots of potatoes, and freedom to fucking die.
  • 1950 - The United Kingdom officially apologises for the heinous crime of stealing potatoes from China, but it's too little too late.
  • 2010 - Uranus officially undergoes name change to avoid ridicule, henceforth called Urectum.
  • 2011 - Urectum undergoes yet another name change to avoid new ridicule, will now be called Urmom.
  • 2012 - Urmom gives up trying to avoid ridicule, undergoes one final name change to be called Potato Planet (Pictured); astronomers confirm that the world will end this year.