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Hello You Great Uncyclopedia Fellas

I'm gonna make some humorous edits here so get chill and get ready for that. Nicolassequeira (talk) 02:50, 8 May 2020 (UTC)

Need An Illustration For Your Article? I'm Your Guy

Thinking about a new article but don't have a suitable image for it? Ask me. I can draw anything you want within one day. Leave any and all requests in a formal, organized manner below! Nicolassequeira (talk) 02:59, 8 May 2020 (UTC)

Welcome to Uncyclopedia!

And muchos gracias for your help with Cronenberg. ~ Kakun · talk 03:36, 9 May 2020 (UTC)

You're welcome! I aim to please! Nicolassequeira (talk) 03:50, 9 May 2020 (UTC)

Nicolas Files

Here's a chronological recording of all cartoons I've drawn for Uncyclopedia. Let them stand as a record. If you have a request, leave it in the above section, "Need An Illustration For Your Article? I'm Your Guy!" Do not give me submissions in this section. This submission is only for recording my art. Thank you and good morning Mr. and Mrs. America, and all the ships at sea. Nicolassequeira (talk) 04:50, 9 May 2020 (UTC)

You Cannot!
Early Concept Art.
I GOT AN ALCOHOL!
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Drive In Here
MIT students hard at work.
Now on TV!
Everyone's least favorite C-list musician in 1977
Pretty Boy Cyrus's dreary single "I'm A Cute Guy, Please Kiss Me," garnered no money or kisses but plenty of pity.
Famous Russian YouTuber чушь собачья show you how to make a Homunculus at home the easy way- with an egg, a light saline solution, a cheese grater, and a 1.5 pound bag of spicy pork rinds.
Alan Moore, famous comic vomiter, summons his famous character Moloch in the basement.
Moloch and The Meat Butcher- together at last!
Behold, I have become Robinson, the man without eyebrows.
Visual depiction of Asexuality created for Uncyclopedia's 2021 Pride Month reskin.

Welcoming users

Hi Nicolas, I like your enthusiasm in welcoming users, but can you please wait to welcome after they have made an edit? Users like this and this are almost certainly spambots and do not need to be welcomed. Thanks! -- The Zombiebaron 02:44, 11 May 2020 (UTC) Good point! I'll keep the welcome wagon hidden until they show they have something useful to do and are here in good faith. Thanks for pointing that out, Sir. What a waste of space. Nicolassequeira (talk) 02:47, 11 May 2020 (UTC)

Hi

Hi! 70.71.93.193 (talk) 06:12, 18 May 2020 (UTC)

Hi there! Any questions? Nicolassequeira (talk) 17:07, 18 May 2020 (UTC)

I got banned?

Da FUCK?

My Thoughts On The Big Bang Theory

My most recent ban from the Discord was brought about by my criticism of the sitcom "The Big Bang Theory". While my first ban was somewhat justified, as it was a dig at a fella on the Discord, I fail to see how a dig on Chuck Lorre or Bill Prady constitutes justification for a ban. Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady, I think, are two people who can get away scot-free with anything because nobody ever calls them out for their lazy writing and awful character development. Even if it weren't for those, the facts are that the character of Sheldon Cooper has Autism, and Jim parsons is not autistic. As someone with Asperger's I'm shocked that this sort of thing would even pass the first stage of development. For ten years straight I have seen this drivel consumed in mass quantities. the drivel is not only poorly written, is is offensive on a fundamental level to those with mental conditions such as mine. My Aspergers is very light and has virtually no effect on my speech patterns or line of thought, but I shudder at the notion that this show is seen as some sort of window into real life, a representation of someone with Autism, or even a celebration of autism and all that it entails. It is none of these. It is a cliche relic of a bygone era. It is drivel. And since satire is my bag, I ask you, Uncyclopedia: Does this show warrant satirization and analysis of the highest level? Does it deserve to be picked apart and scrutinized? Has anybody ever scrutinized it, and should we ban people who know what they're talking about just because someone feels that a show is beyond ridicule? I'll leave you with those questions. Tomorrow at 5 P.M. MT I'll be showcasing a riotous parody of the show wherein I indeed dissect it and expose it for the circus it is. See you then. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPFDD9PCT6I Nicolassequeira (talk) 22:26, 15 June 2020 (UTC)

Just for the sake of clarification and fairness, you weren't banned for criticizing The Big Bang Theory. You were banned for consistently annoying an increasing number of people in our community on a daily basis. You more or less took over the server to spam your comics in a never-ending act of self-promotion. And then, between me and Happy Spaceman, it felt like you would go out of your way to be rude and condescendingly insult us, either for our artwork or because we enjoy a piece of media you don't like. You made Uncyclopedia Discord more unpleasant and less fun.
Note that I wasn't the one who banned you. I'm actually supportive of you being unbanned in the near future if you can prove to be a worthy contributor to our community. Just tone down the self-promotion and try not to be so rude to us.
As for the merits of The Big Bang Theory sitcom, we can talk about that some other time. I also have Asperger's, and I have a different, more positive perspective on it. I'm sorry that you find it offensive, but to make it perfectly clear, your hatred of it wasn't the reason you were banned.
I'm sincerely sorry for all this bitterness between us, but we can always put it behind us and start fresh. -- Kippy the Elf Candycane2.png Talk Candycane2.png Works Candycane2.png Candycane2.png Candycane2.png Candycane2.png 00:35, Jun. 16, 2020
That clears it up, Sir. I await an unban of some sort sometime soon. In the meantime, I'll post more sketches here Nicolassequeira (talk) 00:50, 16 June 2020 (UTC)

Good job on exposing the Nicolas Comics troll ring

Fascinating stuff, and to think that all this was happening right under my nose- whatta revelation. You fellas are clearly adept at making and maintaining a good website. I plan on mapping out exactly how this troll ring operated- I gotta say it's one of the all time best conducted frauds. Uncyclopedia can now have the distinctive honor of rooting out corruption. I commend ya. Another sketch on the way soon. Nicolassequeira (talk) 00:29, 12 July 2020 (UTC)

I seem to have been censored from Discord

Those of you who tuned into this week's Q&A may have noticed something odd- about 10 minutes in, I was cut off and booted out. Now, the site is wholly inaccessible to me. I can only assume the trolls have done some dirty shit and have now severed my ties with you. If you'd like to see me back on Discord, campaign for this drivel to be stopped. It is out-and-out harassment and should not be permitted in any nation that calls itself a Democracy. This is a bizarre and rotten experience, and I hope I'm let back on there soon. Nicolassequeira (talk) 21:25, 17 July 2020 (UTC)

Tell Discord you won't stand for this!

Sorry, fellas. I was wrong. Just an outage. What a confusing and bizarre occurrence. More fresh content out soon. Nicolassequeira (talk) 21:49, 17 July 2020 (UTC)

Aren't I a screwy little moron? Nicolassequeira (talk) 22:16, 17 July 2020 (UTC)

Ban

Nicolas, I have banned you indefinitely for your xenophobic and racist comments suggesting that Arabs are predisposed towards violence and destruction. You can appeal the ban any time following two weeks from now on your talk page, at which point I will decide whether to bring the appeal up to the active administrators for a vote. — Capitalis quadrata Y.SVG (talk) (contributions) 04:59:24 2020/08/03 UTC

It should be noted that your repeated harrassment and insulting messages towards other users were also a factor in this ban (see rule #2). — Capitalis quadrata Y.SVG (talk) (contributions) 05:02:01 2020/08/03 UTC
Gosh, Sir. I don't believe you understood me. I don't believe only Arabs are predisposed towards violence and destruction, so are Christians and Jews. All religions are damaging to the minds of their adherents. This is simply my point of view as an Atheist. I'm not an Islamophobe, I'm an Atheist, and I don't favor any one religion over any other. I hope sometime you listen to people more. I thought better of you, Sir. What a sad state of affairs. Nicolassequeira (talk) 05:04, 3 August 2020 (UTC)
Oh, and where do I harass anyone? Please point that out to me. Thanks Nicolassequeira (talk) 05:05, 3 August 2020 (UTC)
Do not attempt to appeal your ban prior to the appeal period which I have granted you. I will be revoking your talk page access until August 17, 2020, after which time you will be able to be appeal your ban. — Capitalis quadrata Y.SVG (talk) (contributions) 06:00:25 2020/08/03 UTC
Da FUCK?

Appeal

Nicolas, your appeal period has now begun. At any time, you can write a statement of appeal in this section. I will review it and decide whether to bring it to the active administrators for a vote on whether to lift your ban. — Capitalis quadrata Y.SVG (talk) (contributions) 05:13:40 2020/08/17 UTC

Hi, lemme back on. Thanks Nicolassequeira (talk) 05:15, 17 August 2020 (UTC)
When do I get unbanned? Nicolassequeira (talk) 20:03, 20 August 2020 (UTC)
Okey, I guess to get unbanned I gotta write a lengthy explanation of why I got banned. My memories are sketchy 3 weeks later, and I was a lot more passionate about getting unbanned right after I got banned, because then I was in the moment and right now I don't care much anymore. Still, I would like to be unbanned, so the best explanation I can give is that someone offered me a loaded question and I took the bait. This question was as loaded as a baked potato, designed to paint me in the light of a bitter xenophobe, and an advocate for totalitarianism. While some of you may deny that my being banned was due to my contempt for Orwell, Orwell and Islam are both touchy subjects. I'm not a xenophobe, nor am I an Islamophobe, but I was prevented from explaining myself that night because I was banned instantly without warning- snap- and there went all reason and civility- right down the garbage disposal. I had been hoping we could reach a consensus about Orwell through discussion- however, I have been censored. Orwell is not anti-censorship, he is very pro-censorship. Anyone who hates him is referred to as a control freak and a dictator. Anyone who says they hate him is pushed down as being uneducated. Anyone who talks about 1984 without slogging through all 328 pages of the psychotic manifesto are informed that their opinions are invalid. As I recall my comments on Arabia were part of a tangent concerning totalitarian regimes in the present day. Things got ugly, things got heated, and of course I was the fall guy. Well, it's been three weeks since then, and I'm ready to be let back on. I bear none of you any ill will, and in the same vein as I have been prevented from discussing the cartoon I did with the guitar hipster and the demon woman, if I am let back on your server I promise you that I will not discuss Islam or Orwell on there, instead keeping my thoughts on Orwell on my own server- however, I hold you to the same caveat. What we had that night was a heated discussion, a bitter argument, and unpleasant on the whole, and I'd like to prevent it from repeating, as this is my third time being banned, and it's starting to feel like Groundhog Day here. You claimed I'm a racist, a xenophobe, I harass and insult people, that I'm a eugenicist- none of these things are true. And yet I accuse George Orwell of killing black people, and you find it necessary to mention that he shot Asian people instead, as if that's somehow better. I believe you hold Orwell to different standards that you hold me. This could be due to the fact that Orwell, as I have pointed out time and again, is an excellent propagandist, certainly one of the ten best propagandists of all time. He knows how to make people love him, worship him, hold him above the piercing eye of scrutiny. This is the nature of his work. This is how we ignore the fact that he was a horrible person with innumerable flaws. I have some problems. I'm not a racist, a xenophobe, and all I ask is a polite discussion. regardless, I have some flaws, I'm not perfect, nobody is perfect. I take comfort in the assertion that regardless of the problems I have, Orwell has many, many more.

That said, I await your decision. Had you not deleted my messages that night, we may have settled this sooner. Nicolassequeira (talk) 23:26, 23 August 2020 (UTC)

Hi Nicolas, thanks for your appeal. I’ll soon be bringing this to the active administrators for a vote. — Capitalis quadrata Y.SVG (talk) (contributions) 13:45:09 2020/08/24 UTC
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Parole

Hi Nicolas, you have been paroled from your wiki ban following a 6-0 vote. Your Discord ban remains in place, it was upheld with a 3-5 vote. This ban can be paroled in the future, more details to come at a later time. — Capitalis quadrata Y.SVG (talk) (contributions) 05:24:46 2020/08/26 UTC

Nothing says a high-quality old-school website like fair and just Democracy amongst all members. Get ready for some very high-quality sketches and some spicy content up ahead. Nicolassequeira (talk) 06:05, 26 August 2020 (UTC)
Ben Shapiro commends you on your excellent taste in comics.

Welcome back!

Just wanted to spend some time, in my personal capacity, to welcome you back to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

 Cassandra  (talk)

November 2020 Troll Investigation

Brett hates Nicolas Comics.

It seems a conspiracy of some sort is brewing here, so if anyone has any evidence to put forth, go ahead and leave it below. I'll be sure to have a look tomorrow. Nicolassequeira (talk) 07:58, 6 November 2020 (UTC)

Merry Potato Day!

Potatoes are a hearty crop indeed. Nicolassequeira (talk) 01:49, 23 December 2020 (UTC)

Restructurization

As my one-year anniversary on the site draws near, I can only say that this recent restructuralization is a great idea. Not only will it sharpen and hone the focus of Uncyclopedia, but it'll also draw in new potential clients. It seems Uncyclopedia has hit a bit of a rut lately, so it's good to see you fellas taking action and cutting out the riff-raff. Feel free to plug Uncyclopedia on the Nicolas Comics Server as often as you want. Uncyc is the cornerstone of the Internet. Nicolassequeira (talk) 17:57, 7 January 2021 (UTC)

New forum

I'm assuming you've already seen this, but just in case, please join us here: Forum:Top 10 Articles of 2020 Logo. If you're wondering why several hours passed before I sent you a message, it's because I hate your guts I'm an idiot I'm a tool I'm a douche ok fine I fell asleep. Cheers. MrX blow me Emoji-drool.gif 21:50, 18 February 2021 (UTC)

You betcha, Sir. I'll be there in a jif. Nicolassequeira (talk) 23:26, 18 February 2021 (UTC)

Poo Lit Surprise is back!

The 15th Poo Lit Surprise contest is here! This multifaceted competition, with four distinct and open categories, is open between June 1st and June 21st. Five $10 prizes, as well as a bonus $5 prize, are up in the air! Here are the open categories this year:

  • Best Mainspace Article - for articles in the traditional sense.
  • Best Alternate Namespace Article - for stuff like UnNews or even UnTunes!
  • Best File - replacing Best Potatochop, all self-made files are allowed here (with a few exceptions)!
  • Best Rewrite - for the best already-existing articles rewritten from scratch.
  • Best Template - A brand new category this year: the best template wins!

To register, please consult Uncyclopedia:Poo Lit Surprise, add your name to the table in the category you wish to join, and link your entry once you are ready. Everyone is welcome, regardless of seniority!

Judges may enlist at User:Cassie/PLS/Scoring. Judges may not participate in the category or categories they enlist in, but are free to participate in other categories!

Good luck folks!  Cassandra  (talk02:32pm  May 31, 2021

Thanks for reminding me! I'll be sure to create something spicy! Nicolassequeira (talk) 20:09, 31 May 2021 (UTC)

Poo LIt Surprise due date coming up

Hey all! You have three (3) more days to submit something to the Poo Lit Surprise contest if you wish to do so.

Good luck with your creations!  Cassandra  (talk) 23:31, 18 June 2021 (UTC)

Simmer down sparky

Yo, I have no idea how WohMi giving you the help you asked for turned into this, but chill dude. If you didn’t want help with minor things like grammatical errors, which yes there were, then perhaps you shouldn’t have submitted the article for a pee review and asked people to help with that “Videodrome wants you” message on the article’s talk page. People with volatile tempers often change their minds rather quickly, so I imagine that you will return at some point, and you are welcome to. Until then, enjoy your babylon bee or whatever. MrX blow me Emoji-drool.gif 17:39, 15 September 2021 (UTC)

I wouldn't say what I have is a volatile temper, Sir. What I have is a cold and calculated rage, and I think I've had enough accusations of mental illness to last a couple years. WohMi will help nobody. He's a detriment to the productivity of this site, a first-rate bigot, and until he's banned you'll have a heap of trouble keeping your site and its users safe.

Also, there were no grammatical errors, and this site is about as funny as leukemia. Get fucked, diphole. Nicolassequeira (talk) 17:59, 15 September 2021 (UTC)

There were at least 2 sentences that started with lowercase letters. Anyway, WohMi has helped the productivity of this site tremendously in every area. Please show me examples of bigotry. I’m not joking, please do show me, because I take this accusation very seriously. MrX blow me Emoji-drool.gif 18:07, 15 September 2021 (UTC)

Direct Apology

I apologize for my edits being misconstrued on Videodrome. My intentions were not to vandalize or ruin the article in any way, but rather to improve it and make the article better. I know that you and me have "beef" from Discord, but I feel we could at least treat each other with a professional demeanor. -WohMi 18:52, 15 September 2021 (UTC)

You know...

I heard from a little birdie that you were complaining about being "kicked off" of Uncyclopedia. While that may be the case for the Discord, you are still more than welcome to edit and create some of your fantastic images for your articles. And apparently you still get e-mail notifications for these, so I hope you consider it, at least. Also... Hi. WohMi Speaketh Here! 01:11, 17 May 2022 (UTC)

So, to quote you... "Imagine asking that I perform free work for an organization which has actively spread misinformation about me and insults me on a regular basis." If that was the case, then why complain about it here? WohMi Speaketh Here! 01:55, 17 May 2022 (UTC)