User:Zombiebaron/Uncyclopedia Reskin Committee/Winter2020/OnThisDay/Dec25
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December 25: I wish I could eat french fries every day!
- 4 AD - The Blessed St. Mary the Virgin, Mother of God decides not to beat her slimy bastard infant with a sack of potatoes.
- 1066 - William the Conqueror is crowned king of England in a giant potato in London.
- 1776 - George Washington crosses the Delaware River to purchase potatoes.
- 1892 - A young child from Wichita, Kansas, actually gets a partridge in a pear tree for Christmas. Child distraught since he wanted a potato.
- 1950 - Political potato Karl Rove (Pictured) is born.
- 1984 - ACLU lawyers successfully petition advertisers to start calling Christmas The Potato Season.
- 1990 - After months of violent protests, children of Atheist couples finally get Christmas potatoes. Jesus still hates their guts, though.
- 1991 - Mikhail Gorbachev resigns as President of the Potato Union. Ukraine finalizes referendum and officially leaves the Potato Union.