User:Zombiebaron/Uncyclopedia Reskin Committee/Winter2020/OnThisDay/Dec31

December 31: Fuck, How Many Potatoes Did I Eat This Whole Fucking Year? Day

• 1265 - The first ever House of Parliament is convened, first item on agenda is, "Do the peasants have too many potatoes?"
• 1788 - The Scottish convince the world they need to sing on New Year's Eve at Midnight, writes song to be sung with a mouth full of potatoes.
• 1789 - George Washington makes speech declaring himself eternal Godking of the 13 colonies, is brought back to his senses with a stiff drink, large fries, and a good nap.
• 1850 - Millard Fillmore installs the White House's first potato cannon.
• 1900 - The first ball thing, a potato, to drop when the year ends is invented, initially as a terrorist ploy by Irish extremists.
• 1961 - Dwight D. Eisenhower makes final speech warning America about the potato (Pictured) that lives in your closet.
• 1965 - A maple leaf accidentally falls on top of the potato on a picture of the newly designed Canadian flag, is accidentally included after photocopies are sent.
• 2013 - To curb certain "unfounded" stereotypes of French people, France invades Northern Mali: troops immediately go on strike due to a lack of potatoes.