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FEATURED FAVORITES  Marvinitus Martin Raymond Francisco Xiahou Sergei Magnus Barnabus Mahatma Felipe Gregorios Heinrich Jozef Habiboo Yertlebert Adelbert Chandler Stanislaus Bartholomew Constantine Maximillian Rutherford Cornelius Escobar Doritos Sanchez Agamemnon Hecatoncheires Horst Johannes Salvatore Jamal Muhammad Achmed Siegfried Giuseppe Abraham Roger Van Buren, better known simply as Marvin Van Buren, or even simplier as Marvin, and to the really lazy as just "Marv" was born the eleventh illegitimate bastard child to Martin Van Buren and his mate, Canadian physicist Raymond Von Funkenstein, who was notoriously better known as "The Face-Eating Baby Rapist." Needless to say, Raymond lacked any close friends. Marvin was the only child to survive the insatiable hunger of his father who ate the rest of his siblings (Raymond stood idly by, making cocoa as this happened.) Many consider him to be very lucky to survive his dad's wippings appetite but Marvin considers himself unlucky, claiming "If I had been raped when I was a few weeks old, I would have never slipped on that dick when I was 27, because that was really embarassing." While Marvin's claims are technically valid, they've also been called "extremely stupid," "selfish" and "tasty." When Marvin was old enough to crawl, he ran away from his crazy father into the woods where he was adopted by a creature resembling a cross between Bambi and a can of halved tomatoes. He was brought up to think, look, and act like the Bambi/tomato can hybrid but soon enough he murdered the creature because, as Marvin says "it was tryin to fuck with who I was!" He then made his way into Canada where he spent the rest of his unbelievably long life. (Full article...) Recently featured: |
 "The tastiest fries you'll ever taste! Also they're actually McDonalds fries"
Ongoing: Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election • NFL season • World Series
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It was a sad sad day in the Mediterranean region, as thousands of Porchesians were incinerated by the Wikipedia adminatti, who deny the incident ever took place, and indeed, the existence of Porchesia. Image credit: RadicalX |
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
 Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! | ||
 Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. | ||
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ZZZZ I L K K OO Zilko won some award!!
Z I L KKK O O Click Here to see Zilko, the greatest Newspaper Magazine.
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ZZZZ I LLLL K K OO (C) UnZeta/Rabdon Entertainment 2024
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To be completely honest,
I didn't get those awards.