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McDonald's is a chain of restaurants that serves "fusty food". Their menu includes hamburgers, french fries (Put mayo on mine, please!), chicken, milkshakes, and other marvelous synthetic products of dubious ingredients. Recently, after protests by flat-earthers, McDonald's has added "healthy food" such as salads and fruits. Extensive testing and reformulation successfully made them as greasy and bad for the body as the rest of the menu.

McDonald's has locations all over the world, and is coming soon to the rest of the universe. There is no place without a McDonald's there, or at least nearby; they have become as common as air pollution and the girl next door. The chain's strategy is to achieve a single monopoly where people have no choice but to eat every meal there. Corporate training consists of re-running the movie WALL-E. (Full article...)

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Britney Spears is a fucking Commie
Britney Spears is a Red.
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Now you only have 4, yes 4 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

  ZZZZ I L    K  K  OO    Zilko won some award!!
    Z  I L    KKK  O  O   Click Here to see Zilko, the greatest Newspaper Magazine.
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To be completely honest,
I didn't get those awards.