Zilko

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

What did Wilde do now?? See K9 for dog news. Also order our recipe book

ZILKO



This Week, Delivered yearly (or so), $0.14, £2.50 in Alaska

Is this your girlfriend?

How to eat your teenage girlfriends, Edition 3

  • Tips on blood, hearts and crafts
  • How to swallow
  • More on: bone crushing
Page E3

How to dress for a this-weeky weather

  • Tips on summer dresses
  • What to do for next month
Page B2
  • This Week, the prices on Catalae in CafePress have

gone down. The Catalae has been determined as a
rare group of psuedospecies on the west wing.
Damn dogs are touching your eyes. Damn... Damn
dogs. Y'should ship them all off to Hawa-Yee
Dammit...

  • Sponsor Advertisment:
  • Broke?
  • In Debt?
  • STOP WASTING SO MUCH!
  • Loser
  • Also Click here for you are our
    999, 999th reader
    You won a million out of three.
Tripspam.jpg

Geek Area

  • Apple invents new application version!
  • Computers in DOS mean more text!
  • Johnny Hilfiger brings back DOS to the most latest computer!
  • Hello (again)!
  • Soup... Quite
Page G1-G3
Nokialogo.png

Joe Zombie: ,,Phones are easier today for zombies too!´´

  • Former president of New Zealand,
    Joe Zombie, has just come up to Zilko and given an
    interview on Phones and their easy-to-use
    interfaces. Besides that, Nokia is updating the
    name of it's Nokia nSeries in Europe
    to zSeries. This caught a lot of people to buy
    it. If Microsoft changes it's latest OS called
    mSystem to zSystem, they could probably get
    3-4 new buyers

Science Fiction Upgrade

  • Former president of television, Scifi Chanel
    has just announced the Operating Television
    Channel Bringing Scientifically Modified Fiction
    To Your Home (OTCBSMFTYH or just Odd bum
    Smith) will soon be brought to people by using 3
    new kinds of Canadian (Cuh-naw-dee-un) Fruits.
    The Kümkvätling, A swedish-russian type of
    semi-fruit and a few others, GOTTA GO!
Page W2


In Other News...
The news!
Your Mom arrested for dgur dlienig

Today Your Mom was arrested for dgur dealing,
as she dealed with dgurs all the time, she was
caught and that's it. She also says that dgurs
are not durgs, as they should be. Former
anagrammatist Blil Gtaes says,
Your Mom is Roo Yumm as in, Roo is yummy

Page N1

I think I just ate Your Dog
What? How could that be possible. Usually
it's "I think I just ate Your Mom." Back to the real
world, Your Dog was the tastiest treat I ever ate.
Your Mom tastes ½ of a 7/89 of 3 halfs of
a quarter of a 7 of Your Dog. That means he's cute.
Probably. You wouldn't happen to have any
insurance? Do you? Because I need some, for my wife.
She ate my underdogs... and underwear. I think you
need some more Doggie-Doom Crunchies here...

Page W4


Telephone:555-341-835
Fax:555-340-835
Danshnia P.O. box 4
zilko@ZilkoPublishers.info
www.zilkopublishers.info/mewspapper.html
(C) Zilko Publishers/ZipFM Entertainment 2024


ADVERTISMENT
     ----    This banner is awesome? Isn't it. That's because Jones Walther Gerdhart made it. To
    / ? ?|   make your own JWG-quality banner, you can't! But you can learn to be a little like my
    \ -- |   quality! You can never beat my style!
     \___|                      jwg.free.email.generator.com@gmail.com -- 555-783-536

These are UnPaid advertisements. For the paid ones, see page P1