User talk:Puppy/archive

User talk:Thrak Thrak the destroyer of Worlds: May his power endure eternally, praise be, praise be

Welcome!

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You're winner!

Con-aristo-grats! Your victory in [category] sure was(n't) earned[!/?]

	Aristocrat en Regalia This person is a winner of the Aristocrat's Ball, which they won for their article: [[{{{1}}}|{{{1}}}]]

-- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 08:55, December 15, 2011 (UTC)

Nice one

Congradulations co-winner. ROCK AND ROLL!!!! --ShabiDOO 23:05, December 15, 2011 (UTC)

The forum

I'm glad to see someone has a little common sense. I like logging in to this place, but to write and to create, not to delete! If the award never sees the day, I'll make sure to help articles that people want to delete like Final Fantasy VIII which I saved from ICU today. Ironic that that forum was started by the most hated and lazy admin around isn't it? I am not scared to say he is the only person that doesn't help the wiki, and to have the nerve to start a forum condemning our "inaction" is so disgusting! We have to be more tolerant to "average" articles. Thank you for agreeng with common sense I guess! BTW, do you wield a banhammer? I don't even know! Oh and MerryChristmas! 04:36, December 26, 2011 (UTC)

I had a banhammer once, but could never work out how to use it right. As for the rest - if a page is listed on Vital Pages, we should have it. If thee is not an equivalent Wikipedia article (excluding direct parodies such as UnTunes), then I'd rather delete than try and salvage a lacklustre article. But I see the growth of page numbers as a good thing in general. Having said that, most of the Games pages can be whittled down dramatically - a project I really should get back to at some stage. Given that the idea of RWotM is yours, I'd suggest you'd be the best to make sure it's maintained. I'm happy to start putting together thingies for it, but I need to have time to do it - a luxury I rarely seem to have. Pup 05:32 26 Dec '11

Oh, you also really want to get TKFs input on this as well. What he doesn't know about this wiki could fit in a matchbox. (Maybe one of those extra-long matches boxes, but even so...) Pup 05:34 26 Dec '11

I have to say I like tkf as an admin, enough drama, I hope you continue to contribute, Puppy! Mattsnow 06:17, December 26, 2011 (UTC)

NOOOOOOO U

NO U GET IT RIGHT! ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 09:21, December 27, 2011 (UTC)

YEAH GET IT RIGHT LOLZ! OMG!!! It`s Cat the Colourful, Jesus Christ!!! 10:31 27 December 2011

But I'm left wing! Pup 12:38 27 Dec '11

Tripped face first into a bar

Hello Puppy. Thanks for votes and kisses, they've made my day. And... This is a note to lots of people, asking them to join into a Walk into a bar collab (and if Iz missed you, you are more than welcome to "Walk into a bar" too!). If you want to join in, make up your best "Walk into a bar" jokes and we will have the bestest "Walk into a bar" page on the innernests! Aleister 16:00 27-12-'11

There now. Pup 10:38 28 Dec '11

Hi! You asked Lyrithya a question...

...unfortunately, she seems...uh...indisposed. I swear I don't have her tied up in my basement. *Cat-that-ate-the-canary grin*

Anyway, about your question: you wanted to know if you could make a template for figuring out the featured/not-featured status of an article. I whipped the following code together, using the {{#dpl:}} function (like you mentioned). I have no idea if this can be done without dpl, or even if it's a good idea to use dpl at all (I'm told some dpl queries are resource-heavy). Also, I only tested this a LITTLE, so I can't guarantee that it won't catch fire and assplode. Use at your own risk:

{{#ifexist: {{{1}}} | {{#if: {{#dpl:debug=1|category=featured|title={{{1}}}|mode=inline}} | {{{2|Yes, the article is featured!}}} | {{{3|Baww, nope, it ain't featured.}}} }} | {{{4|That article don't seem to exist!}}} }}

{{{1}}} is the article title...and I bet you can figure out what {{{2}}}, {{{3}}} and {{{4}}} are, from the text. :D  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Dec 29 '11 19:29 (UTC)

I've also heard the dpl resource heavy whine before. I have played with it a little until I managed to create a query that caused a page to stop working. That was using some really over the top dpl queries. I never really bothered with them so much after that. The problem is that there is no way I can see this being done without dpl, as it is asking to return category data on a page. Other than dpl I have no other possible way in mind. Pup 12:27 30 Dec '11

Yeah, sadly it looks like a dpl query shouldn't be used more than once or twice per page unless you allow it to cache its results, and as cached results would be completely useless in this instance, my code up there would be a bad bad idea.

This looks like something usable; unfortunately, we don't have the semantic-mediawiki extension here. Waaaaaah!  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Dec 30 '11 16:36 (UTC)

I tried out my code using the sandbox. Looks like there's a hard limit of 100 calls for any parser function, at which point the page breaks. Frankly, I don't see anything wrong with using the code above, so long as you limit your usage to five or ten calls per page -- the front page uses somewhere around that many #dpl calls, and nobody complains.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Dec 31 '11 16:34 (UTC)

So the 2000 odd I was wanting to do might be a tad problematic... Pup 11:18 31 Dec '11

Uhhh...by "problematic" did you mean "data-center explosion, with fatalities"?  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Jan 1 '12 0:12 (UTC)

Vital

A mystery (and a great category and project by the way). I saw you included Marilyn Monroe, and the link on the category page flows to her, but the category itself does not show up on her page. A mystery wrapped in an enigma dunked in soup and eaten warm. Aleister 2:57 30-12-'11

It's what's referred to as a Hidden Category. Sneaky, isn't it. (Now I only have about 1000 odd other pages to go...) Pup 03:03 30 Dec '11

While I think about it though, Stanley Kubrick needs an article, and I can't think of anyone who would do it justice more than yourself. Pup 03:15 30 Dec '11

Hidden? Yikes. And you know what, I'll do the Kubrick (we should have a user group to urge everyone to do at least one vital article), but will do it as a spork as I don't know that much about him aside from his films. I've only done a few sporks Chicago Seven, Todd Palin and Funnybony's Jack Dempsey page, and the goal to me is to submerge the original so much that it at least justifies being a new page (and marking it clearly as a spork, which my two originals are). But sure, I'll put on the Kubrick. Could be fun, but may take awhile to satisfy me enough to bring it out of user space. Aleister 19:57 30-12-'11

p.s. Jeez, the wikipedia page is a fuckin monster. Cuts aplenty ahead!

I looked at the Wikipedia page myself, and I can see exactly what you mean. I've seen a few of Kubrick's movies as well, and was thinking you'd be fantastic at the article as you have a semi-surreal edge to your writing that is not that dissimilar to Kubrick's work. Mind you, I wouldn't have said Kubrick's ethnicity was as big a part of his vision as it makes it out in the article. (It mentions that he's Jewish in the Wikipedia page around 50 times. Okay - I got that point the first time it was mentioned. You don't have to keep going on about it!) Pup 11:07 30 Dec '11

You mean he's a fucking jew? A lay-about kikie? A yid? A murderer of our load and silver Jesus Christ, a skull cap wearing son of Abe and a man who rapes daughters just for the look on their face when they tell their rabbi and the rabbi then rapes them too? Naw, I won't mention it. I actually didn't read the page yet, just stuck it on a user page and started a bit of a trim. The time-consuming stuff is cutting the links and the references. But I'll read it soon, maybe after a trip to the Temple to get my bearings. And Happy New Year to you and yours, Aleister 2:01 1-1-'12

Could be worse. Prince is a Jehovah's Witness.I'm assuming that means he goes from door to door selling copies of the watchtower. While wearing a gold chain veil. Pup 04:53 01 Jan '12

So

That didn't work. *points slightly sideways*

But no matter; there be other ways about it and whatnot. Still want that sent out? Sorry about not just doing it at the time; I kind of went and died for a bit. 1234 ~ 04:59, 30 December 2011

Interesting. Nah - don't worry about it. I might call on you for something later, but it seems word has leaked out enough, and with AW in swing I'll sit on it for a little while. Pup 06:03 30 Dec '11

Moe

Since you're here I'll run this past you, as a former and almost admin. The link to VFD or vfd isn't working anymore. I always got there by typing in vfd. Can you run down the trouble? Thanks. And I've got the concept for Kubrick, hee hee, and this should go well with the hardest part of it writing down the ideas as they come to me. Have a guick look, you may get a chuckle out of it (I like the licorice ones, then the red). Aleister 21:20 New Year's Day '12

TKF deleted it. Needs an admin to restore it. Bloody funny though. Pup 09:25 01 Jan '12

I lolled at the concept. Pup 09:28 01 Jan '12

TFK Gobsite of the month. I just put the front caption into Kurbick. Gonna have to pull myself away from the page, it draws me like a fly to a female fly, a female fly sitting on a fresh turd - best of both worlds. Al minutes later

Walk into a bar, I've kept well away from it, comes time for stage two.

First some trim to junk, rest to admire the work, then format it well.

Stage three comes cat feet, add more gems to the collab, then to trim again.

Flamingo's Abar, stands alone as perfect joke, highlight this we must.

Aleister 12:15 3-1-'12

Funny you should mention this, as you'll never guess what I was just doing. Pup 12:35 03 Jan '12

I don't want to think about it. Forget I was here, ok? Aleister 13:02 3-1-'12

I thought about it some more, and am back with friends and cameras. Continue. And did you know tomorrow, the 5th, is Uncy's 7th Anniversary? Should we throw a forum party? You start (in other words, tag, you're it) Aleister 12:35 4-1-'12

A belated thank-you from an inveterate procrastinator

Greetings, PuppyOnTheRadio. You voted for UnNews:Son_of_Gaddafi_caught_attempting_to_enter_Canada on VFH. Now, obviously it's been a while since this happened. However, I figured that, while it can be too late to ask for forgiveness, it is never too late to give thanks.

Once again, thank you, and my apologies for not thanking you sooner. This impersonal, auto-generated message will self-destruct in 5 seconds.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Jan 4 '12 11:06 (UTC)

I stopped giving out thanks for votes when I realised people don't vote for the thank you templates. Pup 12:25 04 Jan '12

Don't worry, I'll soon tire of giving them out entirely.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Jan 4 '12 13:17 (UTC)

Come on, give me the next line...

So I can have the one after it. Aleister 00:34 Russian Christmas '12

I can do better than that. UnTunes:The Online Stalker Pup 12:38 07 Jan '12

It actually looks like I fine-tuned the page for you. I'd forgotten it, nice one. My talk page awaits the next half-line though....Garfunkel and Oates 00:42 Commiexmas

Damn, I wanted the seed line. Oh well. I can't go on, must sign off within minutes. Probably enough though. The UnTunes page may be feature worthy with a little tremondous amount of work. Yet, as in all things, it must be the best parody on the net or your name isn't Puppy. Good night...and good luck. Aleister 1:29 Red Christmas '12

It needs audio, and we already know my singing limitations. Pup 01:36 07 Jan '12

The doctor

Well, I think you'll find...

A) Catherine Tate played the doctor in a sketch on the Sunday Night Show, and that sketch is more famous then the Lenny Henry one,

B) Basil Brush portrayed the Doctor on Two count-em, Two sketches, both of which can be found on YouTube.

C) The second and a half Doctor is from Devious, a fan production not only to co-star Jon Pertwee, but also to be released on the official BBC release of The War Games. You'll also find that it has a Wikipedia and a Tardis Index File page, which I believe you edit at, if I recognise that icon correctly, mr. GusF... Lol, just thought I'd point out I noticed....

Anything besides these three changes, I care little for. Oh, and we outta have Matt Smith in there... Paul is the walrus 08:01, January 8, 2012 (UTC)

That's why I've edited Tate and Smith back in, but we decided against Basil Brush because we thought, honestly, that was stretching it a little too far. If he is going to be included it should be chronologically though. Side note: There is a really good fan film of the doctor end of the time war. Christopher Eccleston is in it but it's was the footage of him from a music video clip. I was tempted to add in the guy who played the doctor in that as well, but if we tried adding in every fan film doctor the page would never end. And I have edited on Wikipedia before, but as PuppyOnTheRadio. The icon choice is better explained elsewhere, and I'm too lazy to link it. Pup 08:09 08 Jan '12

And for the record, I have edited the Lady Gaga wiki, but that was just minor vandalism, as well as ED and recently Illogicopedia. Pup 08:11 08 Jan '12

Whisperer

Neither of those articles are done, and are both pretty bad right now. So hopefully neither will be locked and we can keep working on them. I did some trimming earlier on "Walk into a bar" and some format stuff at the beginning. The main contribution so far has been Flamingo's gem. If we had about 30 as good as that then we'd have something. I thought of helping with U2, but know or care almost nothing about them. Aleister 3:08 10-1-'12

There's a fair bit in the talk-page/concept for U2 already. It's again trying to get the words all in there. I can't envision the walk into a bar being much more than it is, sadly. I've given it as much structure (of sorts) as it can get. Coming up with new and funny walk into bar jokes is actually a hell of a lot harder than I thought it would be - even though I've had to force myself to go into bars constantly in search of material. Pup 03:43 10 Jan '12

You suck.

That said, I love you. 1234 ~ 06:48, 10 January 2012

Some of my favourite people are those that suck. And likewise. Pup 07:29 10 Jan '12

You both suck, but a nice kind of suck. And Puppy, what was that nom? Makes me want to hide while at the same time it's one of the nicest compliments I've gotten here. Thank you. Embarrassing though, 'cause now I'll have to try to live up to it for at least a couple of weeks. Or not. Aleister 13:14 10-1-'12

Thanks

	Article Whisperer Judge
This person was a judge for The Article Whisperer Competition (2011). The community would like to thank them for their contribution. (See you at next week's meeting guys!)

George Carlin

Yeah, it is kind of bad, it's not really my proudest work. Never really got around to finish it. While we're on that subject, could you give me any suggestions on how to improve it?

And also, sir, remember that I'm an American, so of course my article doesn't have any humour.

-Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 01:04, January 12, 2012 (UTC)

Okay.

You can nominate the plant one now. If you want. Frankly I don't see the appeal, but... 1234 ~ 06:25, 12 January 2012

Somalia

Made some changes as per your judgements. Demographics is shorter and the pictures are less bland. Worthy of a nomination? --Nikau 09:49, January 12, 2012 (UTC)

UnBooks:My Tedious Day

A user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. By now, the article was featured.

Thank you for voting for UnBooks:My Tedious Day on VFH! -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 02:11, January 13, 2012 (UTC)

I enjoyed the first part, and so I read the next. I enjoyed that part, so I read the next. I enjoyed that part, so I read the next. I enjoyed that part, so I read the next. I enjoyed that part, so I read the next. I enjoyed that part, so I read the next. I enjoyed that part, so I read the next. I enjoyed that part, so I read the next. I enjoyed that part, so I read the next. I enjoyed that part, so I read the next. I enjoyed that part, so I read the next. That bit wasn't as good, but I voted anyway. Pup 02:16 13 Jan '12

Here's your article you requested!

You gotta help me work this article out! |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Kemador CUN|IC Kill | 00:28, January 17, 2012 (UTC)

Review

Thanks for your review,no seriously thanks man.The thing is I was trying to do a million things at once and alot of time.I guess I shouldn't worry about quantity but quality!--777eniramNU 01:54, January 17, 2102 (UTC)

Good and short often works better than long and average. I also meant to say, use UN:PIC for images for articles while you're newer. It means you can focus on writing and leave the pretty pictures to those who excel at pretty pictures. Pup 02:54 17 Jan '12

Your bi-daily feature

I saw that you had your feature featured, then had it featured again in the same week. I've always wanted to do that. I know, it was only up for five hours the first time, but that's enough, really, don't you think? Aleisster 11:28 19-1-'12

Didn't you have a feature that lasted 48 hours at some stage? Pup 11:29 19 Jan '12

A couple, and one that was featured for four days in a row (96 lousy hours). But never, ever, a feature that jumped a day and then came back. Jealousy is eating me up (or at least she said that that's her name. What dear? Pay you enough and I can call you anything? Cool!). Aleister 12:16 19-1-'12

I think her stage name is actually Juicy Lucy. Pup 12:31 19 Jan '12

Your tri-daily feature

Ah, while still miles away from a four-day feature, your three day feature (although also spread over four days, so there's that) is a deed well done! Congrats on the calendar pwn. Aleister 1:23 21-1-'12

I wonder if we can get it featured again on Friday? Pup 01:30 21 Jan '12

Lytheryz would put it on the feature que for next Friday if the mood hit. We should both ask for more feature templates for these pages. Ah, here's one. If you count the two-article template on the main page (today's and yesterday's pages) as a main page article, I once had pages of mine up there for eleven days in a row! That was really interesting, and I had to get very lucky for it to happen. Those were the days. Aleister

p.s. My friend, I thought they'd never end.

I leave the site for a few months and it all goes to pot. Pup 02:53 21 Jan '12

Where did your feature go? Something else is featured. After today there is nothing on the feature que, so hopefully a kind admin will make the intoxicant-driven mistake of again featuring "Thank God It's Friday" and it can continue as before. Al 8:53 22-1-'12

p.s. ... you're invited

I saw it on the news

Was watching CNN and they said you want to revert VFD back to its bad old days. The reporter mentioned that articles linger on there for days or weeks. I was under the impression (from Reuters) that an article is "saved" if it doesn't get a 5 majority in 24 hours, or if 5 established users like it. So a page lingering with 0 or 2 or -1 votes has puzzled me. One way to speed VFD up without removing the 24 hours thing, which has worked out well according to the Sun and its affiliated papers, would be to save the lower score pages at 24 hours. Another idea that just came to me (from Pravda) is to have an obvious delete section, where pages that are so stupid that they don't need to be fully vetted, where if they don't get five keep votes they are gone. This way people don't have to keep on editing and editing and editing just to vote, which is one reason I don't always vote on a page. Keep hope alive. Aleister 11:55 24-1-'12

Considering options at the moment. I'd like to put more control back into the hands of the community, and by allowing VFD to run faster it reduces the need for deletion from fix templates. But, at the same time I'd like to ensure that pages deleted are those that the community in general would agree are delete worthy. So it's a balancing act, which is why I'm thinking about possibilities rather than jumpin straight into it. I prefer the old method of VFD voting, as a general rule, but I still think it could be better. I'm also thinking that VFD would probably work better from a technical standpoint by using a similar thingy to what we do with VFH. This also makes controlling the queue and archiving easier as well. But it's still all speculative stuff. Pup 12:04 24 Jan '12

Why are we incredibly large? Aleister 12:05 24-1-'12

my girlfriend just asked the same question. Pup 12:14 24 Jan '12

A formal proposal for your consideration

Marry me. Oh, wait, that's another topic. But here I would like to formally recommend a new section at the bottom of the VFD page, Shite Pages or something, in which the worst of the worst articles would be listed not in a voting template but just in a list. The same 24-hour rule would apply. The way to save a page would be for an established user to strike it out and give an adequate explanation. If not, they would be huffed. Many pages should just be huffed by an admin on first sight, but this causes some problems from assorted assholes, and this new list idea would kill six or seven birds with one stone. Importantly, it would not require anyone to log on to vote delete, you just leave it there and it's gone. In this way the hundreds of really shite pages which Zombiebaron is rightfully concerned about could be handled quickly. Make sense? I am but the humble servant of the poop throwing monkeys 15:28 24-1-'12

p.s. I'll pop this on Zombiebaron's page too, since you seem to be sleeping or lollying about or trying new things.

Mihihihihihihi!

I very much appreciate your Pee Review on my book. It will fetch a marvellous price at the flea market. Who knows, it might even get me a few dollars at the notoriously stingy louse market, too! The Virus likes. 2K12_DAN.VRS 00:26, January 25, 2012 (UTC)

Proposition 1984

We'll do a collab on the Kim Jong-il article. The other one they have up right now is shit. My plan calls for the North Korean-style story, with references for the actual story. Ownership is now to me and you. |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Kemador CUN|IC Kill | 01:17, January 25, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks for the invite, but I hate doing collabs. Other than UN:IC and the occasional group thingy like Lonely hearts column, I have only done the one here, and that was more related to me doing tech stuff on God's answering service. Even the current UN:IC thing I've thrown up a lot of the concept, and started a bit of the writing, but I'm either going to ignore it from here or just write pretty much the lot of it and let everyone clean it up. So in short, not going to happen at present. While I have you, though, I'd like you to do a PEE review soon. The queue isn't too bad - there's only a dozen or so articles, but that is because people have stopped adding stuff to it as it's taking too long. Another set of hands on there would be good. Especially if you want to tackle the Nazi Zombie one, as that's more your style than mine. Pup 01:41 25 Jan '12

Hi-o!

Are you looking for a way to make a header disappear, but still work as an anchor? This might work:

<div style="width:1px;height:1px;visibility:hidden;">
==Header goes here==
</div>

That way, it can't be seen even when the page is highlighted. display:none almost works, but makes the anchor disappear.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Jan 25 '12 9:25 (UTC)

Er, bleepity-bleep, Internet Explorer. Fixed. Yeah, that should work.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Jan 25 '12 9:34 (UTC)

I would have added overflow: hidden to it as well, given the vagarities of browsers, but yeah - did work out much the same when I was playing on spambox earlier. The main reason I was playing with it is I used <h1> for something today, and it doesn't parse well with Wikipedia, in that it creates an anchor tag and defines the end of a section, but not the start. This stops you from being able to edit that section as well. I'm sure that there is a use for this hack, other than to screw with Lyrithya's talkpage, but screwing with her talkpage is still fun.

Semi-related - do you know of a way to return the number of sections on a particular page? Any parser functions or something of that ilk? I've looked myself but not been able to find it, and I have had an idea that relies on that in the past, but I'm stuffed if I can work out a way to do it. Pup 10:05 25 Jan '12

I've been looking for something like that, to use from the API. Unfortunately, I haven't found it. Let me know if you do. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Jan 25 '12 11:15 (UTC)

In case you miss it...

I left this on that bipolar talk page (find me one that isn't!): Your stories about the snakes would make a very good article. An interesting topic. I still pet bumblebees, but that's a whole other kettle of fish (which I pet too). Aleister soon afterward

p.s. and what do you think of my VFD proposal a few stories up? you may have missed that too, lobbying for Australia and all.

I've considered an article on Necrotising arachnidism in the past, but to be honest the topic scares the shit out of me. And as for the proposal... I honestly don't know. Gut feeling says that this is really what QVFD is for. There's always the possibility we do nothing to change it at all. Pup 01:45 25 Jan '12

UN:SIG

Mon, that thing you did with the whore thing, don't do that. Not only did the sig not identify you or the time of the comment, it didn't even link to your userpage or talkpage, all of which are kind of key functions of a signature, and together add up to pretty much why the things are required in the first place. 1234 ~ 14:08, 25 January 2012

Yeah - it was always going to be a very temporary change. You just made it a touch more temporary. Pup 11:33 25 Jan '12

God's userpage

I went along with what you said in the Pee Review and combined the two main subpages onto the actual page. Thanks for the feedback. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:47, February 3, 2012 (UTC)

UnNews thing

I knew I was right! I userspaced it at first, but the user was really pissed and it's an old user, he won the foolitzer prize at some point. I tried to have a 2nd opinion on IRC but nobody was there so decided to move the article back by changing the date to calm him down, I mean, I don't want to discourage people from editing and at that point I told myself "Well, maybe it's just me that don't find it funny." See the conversation I had with him.

I mean I userspaced about a dozen article since I am the UnNews puppy watchdog, and that's the 1st time somebody was pissed. I'm gonna have more confidence in my judgment from now on! Mattsnow 08:55, February 5, 2012 (UTC)

Just voted for HowTo:Be Happy, that's a great one! It had me laughing. I was a bit confused by the future tense in the intro (see the edit I did and then reverted) I'm far from being an English grammar genius, but that had me a little confused there. Apart from that, it's awesome, had me laughing on numerous occasions, like the fridge joke! lol.

BTW, what do you think of the new way I put UnNews on the front page, by boldening the link to the UnNews article itself while adding normal links to other words? That's what they do on Wikipedia. Mattsnow 11:13, February 5, 2012 (UTC)

I like the look of UnNews as it is. It comes across more like a news service should. Thanks for the vote. I'll look at the grammar you mentioned when I'm awake. Pup 11:16 05 Feb '12

You mean you like the bold words thing? Mattsnow 11:51, February 5, 2012 (UTC)

Yeah Pup 08:36 05 Feb '12

Wheeeeeeeeee!

Diamond Dumper

Excellent! Your commitment to PEEING is nearly boundless, going beyond 75 in-depth pee reviews. You provide such vast quantities of piss that you need something special to contain it. So we gladly provide you with this beautiful bathroom bling - keep pissing!

---

Thanks a bazillion for doing so many great reviews; it's really great to have you back, sir. Please accept this ugly toilet thing as a reward. Keep it up (and keep reviewing too, HI-OH!) --Black Flamingo 22:40, February 6, 2012 (UTC)

Why would I keep going? I only did it for the bling. Pup 10:42 06 Feb '12

We got chrome. Does chrome count as bling? --Black Flamingo 22:45, February 6, 2012 (UTC)

Oooo... Pretty. Pup 10:46 06 Feb '12

Fix your sig dammit

What the fuck happened to your beautiful sig? Anyway, I am desperate for finding a coder who will make my Facebook article resemble that of the current Facebook page, with comments and all. If Aleister can't do it, would you? |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Kemador CUN|IC Kill | 07:21, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

My sig has an independent existence. I'll pass your message on, but it rarely listens to me. As for the coding - Al probably would be a poor choice for a coder. Lyrithya would be my go-to, as she has already done a better one than mine for a site reskin once. And my IRL work means I only get sporadic access, and most of that is via iPhone. Happy to do tips for editing, but my time on here is too valuable for me, and I really want a chrome shitter. They're pretty. Pup 08:56 07 Feb '12

Jed

I duz so cold. Did you want to collab on Jed Clampett's wallet or are you going to leave me alone to wallow in my own mud. The UnKnown Coder 12:24 7-2-'12

Fine, ignore me. I will work on Jed Clampett's wallet from time to time, alone and disowned, and it will not be featured nor will it find dishonor on VFD, it will just linger, unread, somewhere in the ether of main space. /cries in beer, whisper-singing "Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Jed...", people avoid, bartender calls police, "a poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed", another whiskey, dogs piss on leg. Aleister 12:45 8-2-'12

You know how I ignored you... ooops. I have been in and out of here so quickly recently I read the first entry, and thought about it, and thought I'll think about it some more. And then forgot about it. Then your next edit here I overlooked because of the thingy below, which I had to respond to offsite. So I was still in the forgotten state. But now I remember. So while I remember... uh... no. I have nothing of value to add to it, but if something comes to mind, and if I remember, I will. Pup 01:56 11 Feb '12

Thanks for alerting me about what you did at wikipedia, and when I read it my blood boiled (not really) and I realized that some of those neighing neighbors of ours do not appreciate the writing here (probably because they never read any good stuff). So, because of you, I must now, sigh, make fucking' Jed Clampett, a throw away line which I then was forced by myself to pick up and write, and now it has to be good too! Thanks, ah, for part of that, most of it as the writing has progressed because of you, and the page will further pick up to match the belittling comments about uncyclopedia which you endured with style and grace. Grrrrr. Burp. Aleister 22:22 12-2-'12

unban

see here 80.56.164.121 15:04, February 8, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks for the tips

Um yeah, I really appreciated those tips on writing you gave me. Oh, by the way, George Carlin was an American comedian of the '70s, best known for his infamous "Seven Dirty Words" Routine. Come to think of it now, I could black out every third word in my article to make it sound more like a George Carlin routine.

But anyway, thanks for the advice!

Oh yeah, and this is sort of miscellaneous, but I think that there's something wrong with your new signature. Not that I really care, I'm just saying. -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 00:22, February 11, 2012 (UTC)

It's cool. I know Carlin more for his later stuff which had a strong political vibe. Of course he had no concern about cussing a tad either. And the sig is fine - it's meant to look broken. Pup 01:29 11 Feb '12

Your happy monkey topic

Your topic my dear Puppy is: Big Butte Creek.

1. Write the article on your namespace
2. I'll be judging the articles based on creativity, originality and cleverness.
3. Good luck, you have until tomorrow night (23.59 UTC, 6:59PM ET) to finish.

(happy monkey sort of likes Australians!)

--ShabiDOO 12:06, February 11, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks for the tips...

I take it that you didn't necessarily like my article, but it's my first one so give me credit. GarethPW (talk) 14:43, February 12, 2012 (UTC)

Actually quite the opposite - I think it's a first article by someone who will get much better. Which means it has issues, but shows promise. (Although I will always hate lead-in quotes, but that's a personal thing.) Pup 02:47 12 Feb '12

Insulting other editors' mothers

That's just rude.

More to the point, saying 'this is bad', 'this is bad', 'this is bad' is not at all helpful to noobs, even if it does end with saying 'nobody wants to see you fail'. I don't disagree that you brought up valid points, but you need to mix in encouragement (and alternatives) throughout the body of the thing, or chances are all it will serve to do is just dishearten the user. I know this to be true because I was a noob not so long ago, myself, and that was exactly what happened with one of my first things. Aleister had to come and rescue me from the mean frank person or I probably would have just gone away and never come back right then, or at very least stayed the hell away from that area of the site from there on out. 1234 ~ 07:25, 15 February 2012

I went through it too quickly. I tried to point out that there was some intelligent writing there, but reading through it I have come across as a prick. And as for the first point - I really wish I could remember when I last insulted anyone's family. Other than Al's of course, but that doesn't count. Or Your momma jokes. Or just being generally offensive. Pup 08:57 15 Feb '12

Alohä to you to!

... even if that's no real word (it's "hej" or "hallå"). I took no offence from your review on Gay Hitler, but your apology made me understand what you meant better. I will fix it, but I'm going to work for a month out in the wilderness so it will be when I get back home again. Just so you know. And just one thing: The idea about the article is not "Hahaha faggot!", but a joke about such humour. I probably could have made that clearer. If you have any other idea just say it, and I'll see what I can do. --Änjelajs 12:00, February 16, 2012 (UTC)

Actually,

I'll probably just delete my George Carlin article completely and start over my scratch. What option do I use to delete articles? -because I believe that it should be my responsibility to delete an article I've created. -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 00:35, February 17, 2012 (UTC)

If you really want to, then add it to QVFD and add the comment Author request. Having said that, if I have something in my user space, I'll blank the page and start again. I like keeping the history of the articles intact. Pup 12:37 17 Feb '12

I must object, object sir, as the article is very funny at least in the swearing part. All it needs is to get rid of some of the stupid dates and make the dates realistic. A good page not gone bad. Aleister 00:43 17-2-'12

I reviewed it differently, but I'm sure Matthlock won't object to a second opinion. Pup 12:47 17 Feb '12

Since he wants to huff it, I stole the swearing part and tucked it away on a page I keep interesting stuff on as well as someone's 911 huffed page I may rewrite. That might be a funny one, actually, with some good stuff added. Hmmmmmm. Aleister 1:08 17-2-'12

Good day

...to you sir. I was passing, and I hope you don't mind me popping in. Anyway, I could not help but notice that you are up to your old tricks of fixing (and saving) articles on VFD despite the best efforts of us administrators to delete everything. Thank you for that. I wish more people did. :) On another note, I wondered if you knew about Uncyclopedia:Maintenance/Fix. It shows pages which are about to be deleted because the {{fix}} which was put onto them is about to expire after 30 days. It even shows how much time each one has left. Anyway, you probably know about it already, but I thought I would mention it as it might be a good place to find articles to fix up like you do on VFD. MrN 20:28, Feb 17

That took me to the template page. Having said that, I just noticed for the first time that articles with {{fix}} can end up in various categories, which are not subcats of Category:Articles to fix, which is where I'd sugget they all should be. I'm not a strict categorisation person - I often leave pages uncategorised out of pure forgetfulness - but it seems to me to make more sense to have them all in a similar category group. Also, is there a page that shows articles tagged with fix ordered by date of tagging? It would give users wanting to fix things a more effective way of prioritising. Pup 12:51 18 Feb '12

Just passing by on my way to sign off. That is an excellent idea, and I don't know why the articles to be fixed link or explanation isn't on the template on the left, maybe under "Votes for Picures" and above the unSignpost? Aleister 00:54 18-2-'12

Actually - I'm thinking that this should be a big part of Uncyclopedia:What You Can Do. I've also added a thingy to that category above to show the date something was tagged (or it may be last edited - not too sure). But I still think there should be a meta category for {{fix}} and {{ICU}} stuff that means we can easily locate and salvage stuff. Pup 01:00 18 Feb '12

Uncyclopedia:Maintenance/Fix is the link I meant. :) It's last edit which matters, not when the article was tagged. Yea... We need to so something. I'm just not sure what... MrN 02:25, Feb 18

Happy Monkey

Hey...good article by the way. For sure if you add a section or two and polish it up it is featurable materia. Thanks as well for all the edits and touchups to the forum pages and all of your effort and suggestions in trying to make it better. It was very much appreciated my dear young man! Thanks. -ShabiDOO 10:49, February 20, 2012 (UTC)

PotR is a young man? o__o 1234 ~ 15:22, 20 February 2012

He was trying to be polite about my lack of maturity. Pup 12:43 22 Feb '12

Saw your forum post

I put a comment on there which was Skullthumperian in length. I also wanted to mention this, but I didn't want to keep blathering on there, so I'll do it here instead. My criteria for tagging articles -- I call it the "Me+Codeine's-Mom" criteria (original, huh?) -- is this:

Did I laugh once while reading this article? And would Codeine's mom have any idea what the fuck it's about?

If the answer is "no" and "no", BOOM, tagged. No exceptions. I don't care if it's #1 on Google. If the answer is "no" and "yes", well, I might give it some leeway, but I agree more and more with DeadDude and Skullfucker that we should just execute shitty pages, no matter how significant they are.

Now, I barely know who Codeine is, and have no idea who his mom is, but I assume she's English-speaking, has at least two legs, and is also 10+ years older than me. On those grounds, and as I still don't know who the shit Vincent Valentine is, I stand by my tagging of that page. But congrats on fixing it up, Pup.

I hope the pace of tagging keeps up, or even increases, especially if we can target the tags at the super-shitty pages more effectively. I'm not crying any tears for the collateral damage. There's always userspace. And VFD doesn't have to be a "KILL KILL KILL" sort of place, anyway. I mean, shit, two of my featured articles were on VFD before I fixed 'em. Look at what you and Al and Sycamore and EpicAwesomeness are doing. VFD lights a fire like {{Fix}} can't do, apparently. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Feb 20 '12 17:59 (UTC)

This is exactly, exactly to the letter count, what we, or I at least, are saying. You put fix tags on pages to execute pages. Imnho (in my non-humble opinion) you should read what you wrote, and forever recuse yourself from tagging pages. This is not what Fix is for, at least as I understand it. Fix is when you run across a page that is good but needs some fixing, and if nobody fixes it, you look for an earlier copy, and if it's so bad it's obvious that nobody on the site would save it, then you huff it. But to purposely look at a page, even a well-written page, and put a Fix on it because you just don't like it - you shouldn't have that power. Super shitty pages are the goal of huffing, imnho, and not any other page whatsoever. I had an idea which makes the most sense to me: create a separate section of VFD, maybe on the bottom, where we'd put expired tagged pages for 36 hours. Any user can remove the Fix tag to save the page. Those that are left, that nobody wants to save, can then go. Does that sound reasonable to you? Ok, I've vented, now you can vent on me, and we could get all emo. Al 19:24 20-2-'12

Codeine's Mom is actually a reference to our vanity policy, found here. I also have next to no idea who Vincent Valentine is. Google, however, Tells me over 1.3 million pages that can give me more information. Wikipedia also tells me that they know enough about him to think it worth maintaining a page on him. It is possible an admin somewhere may also know who he is, but I didn't bother asking any of them. As for an article being funny - a lot of articles on specialist topics (ie. topics I know nothing about) have jokes in there that you need to understand the detail of the topic before it makes any sense. Because I don't know the details, I can't say if a joke is funny from that perspective. I can see if a joke is well written, or would be with a minor tweak. What I did with this page is add almost nothing new with the exception of maybe a sentence here or there. I cut out 50% of what was obviously bad jokes, and left in the rest. I removed the bad pictures (as not every article requires images) and added in a template I found on a linked article. In short, I did almost nothing with that except remove what I hated. I added a picture back in later because someone popped an {{AAP}} on it. It was an image we already had on site.

By your definition of UN:CM, Six Hats should be fix tagged. It is, after all, an obscure topic that is generally only of interest to those that already know about it. The only saving grace is that it is funny, but humour is subjective. Now I'd be upset if that was tagged - I'm rather proud of it. But if I was to go by your interpretation of Codeine's Mom's knowledge, I would be tagging it. (Oh, and the reason why Codeine mentioned that ages ago was a bit of a joke that has a grain of truth in it. I don't think Codeine would even have expected that it would become canon to the extent that you're using it.)

And as for IPs saying this is shit - my darling angel and love of my life hates parody and satire. She refuses to read what I write on here as she knows she will hate it. So if she were to come here, she would feedback that it was shit. (It's the bane of my life.) I already know she would never come back here again. She also refuses to watch Daily Show or Colbert Report for the same reason. On the other hand, she watches Big Bang Theory, Chuck and How I met your mother religiously. Just because she would never come here again doesn't mean her feelings towards the site are something that I would use as a benchmark for success. Have a look at what has happened to Stereotype as an example of why I take singular comments with a grain of salt. If I had, this would still be what it was before I rewrote that. Oh, and I rewrote that because I looked at it and initially felt like nominating it for deletion, because it was UN:DUMB. I would suggest that my decision not to is one of the best things that could have happened to that article. Pup 11:02 20 Feb '12

BB, I was a dick to you in my note above, with the line about you recusing yourself. I've felt bad about it since, and I know it was dickish. My apology is here in hopes that you can ignore my advice and know that it was the advice of a dick. Aleister 23:08 20-2-'12

Al, don't worry about it. Pup: you two guys missed my main point...a little. My point was that an article's significance shouldn't save it from the poop-heap if it's poopy, poopy, POOPY! The only thing that should save it...is if it is funny, or it has been fixed.

Also, I know that "Codeine's Mom" was meant facetiously, and not as religious canon. But it's a decent baseline for significance, innit? It has a spark of common sense, and common sense is better than Google and Wikipedia alone. If you're judging a topic's significance by number of Google results, lemme throw this apples-and-orangutans example at you:

• "Flight of the Conchords" and "Falklands War". They are both significant, because they've both got Wikipedia entries. But "Flight of the Conchords" returns 7,940,000 results, while "Falklands War" returns a mere 1,600,000. Those Kiwis must be WAY more significant, right?

That's totally valid, right? ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Feb 21 '12 15:11 (UTC)

It's not a matter of comparative value. It's a matter of if they have significant value. I wouldn't bother saving an article on the East Brunswick amateur dramatics society, for example, but if either of those examples you listed above we're existing articles which were okay, then I'd leave them as is. If they were poor value, then I'd fix them to an extent that they were at least worthy of a wry smile. I'm not saying we should save Orthodox Monsterist Church - I turned that into an okay article once, and then volunteered it for deletion, even though I'm fairly confident that it would have been the first hit in google. But if we're trying to grow as a wiki, then doesn't the idea of deleting articles go against that? Two paragraphs on a significant topic that are okay have more value then a blank space that will bring nobody here, or twenty shit paragraphs in the same topic. Trimming an article down to remove stupidity takes around ten minutes - based upon my own efforts. I'd rather use that ten minutes doing that then trying to find four more articles to delete. Pup 10:27 21 Feb '12

I don't spend any time looking for bad articles, the dumber IPs find 'em for me. Anyway, I'd love to grow the wiki's quality, not its size, but OK. True, I joined last year because, just like you, I wanted to fix a shitty page. However, I would never have joined had I not seen the quality of articles like this, this and this. I naively thought that the majority of the articles here were like those. So I joined, and I worked at it. But I soon realized that U.S. of A. sucked so badly that nothing I could do would fix it. Then it came up for deletion, and I voted "kill".

I honestly want to make every uncyclopedia article so funny that you bust a gut while reading it. If we could accomplish that, we would be the greatest freakin' comedy site on the web, and cracked.com could SUCK ON our huge ...web traffic. But I guess that's an absurdly unattainable ideal. We've got few thousand really funny articles, a few thousand really terrible ones, and about 20,000 which are mediocre. Those will never achieve lift-off, because taking an article from "eh" to "HA!HA!HA!" takes time. They'll never go away, either, because when they go on VFD, people say "It's not so bad! There are worse! How dare you!" And when they get Fix-tagged, people say "It's not so bad! There are worse! How dare you!" Fine then. I won't push it anymore. I guess I'm too new here to do that, anyway.

I gotta say, the one IP comment I've seen which really hurt was on Talk:Dentist:

I came across this page by accident...[...]You get a headache from the utter horribleness. The whole site reads like the work of someone who sees themselves as "funny" and would put "funny" on a list of positives to describe their personality...

Yes, humor IS subjective, and YES, the person who wrote that (in 2009) is an obvious idiot, judging from their grammar. But even idiots occasionally speak truth. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Feb 22 '12 10:47 (UTC)

There is a saying out of the mouths of babes and sucklings which is often used to refer to simple truths. Having had 3 kids I'd say the most memorable things to come from the mouths of babes and ducklings comes spit and vomit. And if you've ever had to try an clean milky spit out of a suede jacket you'd appreciate how that feels.

I am not saying to save all articles. I'm saying that if an article has merit in its topicality then it's worth the effort to save it. I'm the first to vote NRV on stupid articles with stupid concepts and stupid writing. Nelson Mandela is a nightmare for me as there is not much in there I like or will try to save, so it would take more time to fix it than I have. I'm asking that an article is considered on numerous bases before adding a {{fix}} tag or huffing. And if the effort to reclaim an article is minimal then reclaim it instead of kill it. And I have no issue with anyone adding anything to VFD. Given I nominated TKFs signature, I can't claim that I haven't nominated a few things there myself. You may not be aware but I went through a stage where I nominated every second game we had there. And there are still a few more I'd potentially nominate at some stage. VFD gives a chance for these checks to be done by numerous users, and encourages those in the community who have a similar stance to myself to take the time to fix things. {{fix}} has become a backdoor, one man VFD. That is an issue.

Think about it this way - how would you feel if Codeine wrote an article, nominated it for VFH, voted on it himself, and then featured it ahead of the rest of the potential feature queue? The {{fix}} to delete at the moment is that at the other end of the spectrum. (I'd be happy if Codeine were to write some more, but that's an aside.)

You were right to nominate Vincent Valentine. If I hadn't jumped in and reclaimed cloud gazing and that had been deleted, however, that would have been a bad outcome for the site. Pup 11:50 22 Feb '12

"Bad outcome"? Like...the End of All Things?

As for the one-person VFD concept...are you saying the person who puts on the Fix tag is the same one who deletes it at the end of 30 days? If so, ...yeah, that's not optimal. That's what you would want to take issue with. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Feb 22 '12 12:09 (UTC)

Hahahahahahahahaha

You should have had a feature today, HowTo:Be happy feet or something, but nobody put up a new feature and, I've heard, they don't plan to ever again. Hahahahahahahaha, no feature for you. You can't be happy now, can you, hahahaheeheeheehee. Al-'i'r 1:23 21-2-'12

My misery knows no bounds. Pup 04:13 21 Feb '12

lol your userpage. Congrats on your feature, 30 is just a reach away (only 13 people have done it in the history of the known universe). I have to stop myself from expanding each phrase as I type here, I've just been editing the homophone page and I guess it's a mini-mindtrip to pack sentences with wrap-around concepts and other things and still keep them kind of readable. Congrats again, I was so happy until I read your feature. Aleister 3:40 22-2-'12

I'm not focusing on the 30 mark anymore. I was trying to race UU to it, but I think he's kinda given up. And I know what you mean - it's great when you twist your mind around a concept and then just can't stop yourself. Pup 03:46 22 Feb '12

And it looks like your narcissism has paid off as well. Pup 03:50 22 Feb '12

When the narcissism article is on the main page I will hold the computer screen up to a mirror so I can see it and myself at the same time, take a picture of that scene, and then hold that up alongside it. I will then call people in to see it, and will point at the mirror and the picture and ask them to "Look at me!", it being their lucky day. UU, where has he gone? Oh, that's right, when you think he's not here he's always here. Myself, I kind of do things in sets of four years, maybe a carryover from high school and college (unless - and more likely - that's some kind of universal primate biological learning cycle and educators have just tapped into it), so I reckon I'll stick around here for awhile yet. UU should be posting a reply here any hour. Al 4:01 22-2-'12

I see the odd tweet from the U-man. He does have around 58 kids now, so I think he's a little busy. Pup 04:08 22 Feb '12

Splendid article!

I forgot to vote for it on VFH unfortunately, so this thank you will have to suffice. Your article HowTo:Be Happy was a splendid read. I could only hope to be as talented a writer as you, though I have plenty of time on my side. Good luck on all your future endeavors, and sweet tidings, you miserable bastard!--CameHereInACloche (Talk)

Thanks. And I've been meaning to ask about your name. Are you wearing a cloche hat when you enter the site, or are you using a bell as a receptacle while imitating the greatest hits of Onan? Pup 12:48 22 Feb '12

I wear a cloche at all times, to fight off the cruel winter. I go by that username on Reddit too.--CameHereInACloche (Talk) 21:24, February 22, 2012 (UTC)

Found this

which I've never seen before. Aleister 3:07 24-2-'12

I'd forgotten about its existence. Pup 03:12 24 Feb '12

So you're a priest who is also a pee reviewer?

Thanks for the review on The Exorcist; it's very helpful and I'm much happier with the article already. I'm not sure what you mean when you talk about the {{fakelink}} thing though? --Black Flamingo 12:51, February 25, 2012 (UTC)

I changed the first one. I haven't done the others as coding on a phone is a bitch. Hopefully you can see what I mean though. Pup 02:09 25 Feb '12

Ok yeah that does look better, thanks again! --Black Flamingo 14:49, February 25, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks

For the nomination and the generous pay raise! Mattsnow 13:10, February 26, 2012 (UTC)

Suntan in Hell

Why not, instead of kicking Suntan, we try to get YMSCIHMF mainspaced again. As I recall it was you and I fighting for it against Mordillo, who didn't like it for some reason. Maybe I'm remembering it wrong, but that should be mainspaced imnho. Aleister 23:32 leap day almost over '12

You've started me thinking about something very different. Which is how my brain works. And I use the word works very lightly. And happy March. Pup 12:02 01 Mar '12

HowYour:Brain works....with your recent push for ads I fear that it is on the conker. Happy March too! And look, James Bevel (more links more "points" on Google?) is featured right now! Thanks for helping that along!! (the leap year day is over, I can come out from under my bed now). Aleister 00:05 1-3-'12

It's about promoting the site. TKF makes some good arguments there, and I agree with the fact that we should advertise, and that we should have tangible prizes for PLS. It is somewhat inevitable, but this way at least we can keep the control over who, what, and where. I'm definitely not going to support a Wikia push to advertise any further. There is a script trick that can be used to make the ads at the base of pages hidden, which I've chosen not to use, as I'm keeping an eye on what Wikia are doing. And leap day is over - nobody can propose to me for another 4 years! Pup 12:18 01 Mar '12

You and I are at opposite ends on the ad thing. And we don't need no stinking prizes. Promoting has nothing to do with ads, in fact that's our biggest selling point, that in this day and age (Thursday, 21st century) we are pretty ad free except for the floating wikia crap. My objection is for the viewer that's coming here, not for me personally (and I've got the bottom ads open too, although when I come in as an IP there are stupid wikia ads covering the search bar and the uncy logo and lots of other places). I don't want to start a huge discussion on this here, I just had in mind that the unsignpost isn't a good place to have a pro-ad propoganda, ah, article. Final point on this: so many users will be against ads that I'd say "going for it" on a few admins part will be the cause of major drama and will vastly disappoint many users, so why, knowing that, would people even try for that result? Aleister 00:26 1-3-'12

I don't know that it was that pro-ad. It is done somewhat tongue in cheek - especially as I stole the "Greed is good" speech from Wall Street. (The first one.) I was using more to get the communities attention. Anyone reading that who has an opinion would (hopefully) go to the forum itself. Lyrithya changed the editorial note on the end, so it's more ambiguous, but the link is there. Pup 12:50 01 Mar '12

I can't read your comment through the tears as I cry in my beer, and then drink more beer but find it too salty and throw it out. What? Aleister 00:57 1-3-'12

What a waste of good beer. Oh, and my idea has become the most in-jokey forum I have ever seen, so that didn't work. Maybe I should nominate it for feature? Pup 11:52 01 Mar '12

Please nominate real users on PERVY

Speaks for itself. ~Pleb the magic! 18:00, 03/01/2012

Burn, Baby, Burn!!!

HowTo:Get a suntan

Score: -2
Keep (3)	Short but sweeeeeeeet. Feature. Aleister 10:52 29-2-'12 Too long -- The Zombiebaron 19:32, March 1, 2012 (UTC) Too bright. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:11, 1 March 2012
Delete (1)	Too short Pup 04:27 29 Feb '12
Comments	Abstain.--WELCOME TO UNCYCLOPEDIA HELL!!!! 09:39, February 29, 2012 (UTC) Think of the children. For Gods' sake, won't someone think of the children? Pup 10:40 29 Feb '12 And here I thought you didn't believe in God, Puppy. ; ) —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:42, 1 March 2012 Note placement of apostrophe. Pup 11:52 01 Mar '12 You believe in the existence of multiple all-powerful entities? How does that even work? O_o —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:16, 2 March 2012 I kind of like it but it seems more like a goofy user subpage than a mainspaced article. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 23:18, February 29, 2012 (UTC)

– Preceding unsigned comment added by Aleister in Chains (talk • contribs)

Didn't you edit using your cellphone, Puppy? How does it deal with giant images like this one? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:23, 2 March 2012

Response on your talkpage. Pup 12:30 02 Mar '12

Tnx for the critisism(in the good way....)

seriously, thanks for the feedback....if you could give me the link to completed reviews, i could get a better idea of the goal, here....i suck at following simple instructions BTW, koodo's....frick, almost forgot the sig....--Dorianin says never play leapfrog with a unicorn. (talk) 05:30, March 2, 2012 (UTC)

Thank you for the effort you made upon improving my article

thank you for editing my article, but a few things got drop off(like schizophrenia). and there are certainly more things that got deleted than i would like. My original thoughts was that before the author is able to tell the users to take the graph to a psychic to analysis the data, a communist arrested and executed him for breaking several exaggerated but true laws in china. then he told the users that the hard disk is beyond repair and all that, and the true way to remove the recycle bin icon on the desktop. Then the reader is like AAARRGGGHH and then step 3. N.B. rd command is Remove Directory, which is not the same as r. thank you.

Wow, you mainspaced it for me? Thanks!

UnNews:Riemann hypothesis solved by 8th grade n00b, authorities still dubious Cute Zekrom! _{Use Fusion Bolt NOW!! • It's super effective!} 20:59, March 2, 2012 (UTC)

Read this

I wrote this one article here and I'd like to read it and then give me your feedback on my talk page. Now I'm not saying that I'm proud of it or anything, but................. <crickets> -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 23:58, March 3, 2012 (UTC)

Sorry man - meant to get back to this earlier and been busy. I haven't had a chance to look at this at the moment. I'm trying to clean out a few of the reviews waiting to be done. Pup 06:31 07 Mar '12

Nomination for NOTM

Thanks a lot for the nomination... - GarethPW (talk) 13:14, March 4, 2012 (UTC)

review class...

very nice instruction manual on a good review....i see how my brevity could make the review more or less useless. ill make sure to have a fourth page open till my neurons have it down(yours, in case you didnt know...)...tnx for the feedback....--66.38.159.33 15:07, March 4, 2012 (UTC)

review class...

very nice instruction manual on a good review....i see how my brevity could make the review more or less useless. ill make sure to have a fourth page open till my neurons have it down(yours, in case you didnt know...)...tnx for the feedback....--66.38.159.33 15:07, March 4, 2012 (UTC)

oops

wasnt logged in, and hit save twice. its early....--Dorianin says never play leapfrog with a unicorn. (talk) 15:09, March 4, 2012 (UTC)

Yo Sig Man!

Yeah, I'm from New York.

How the heck do you do that signature... I mean, signachah thingy? Cute Zekrom! _{Use Fusion Bolt NOW!! • It's super effective!} 01:21, March 5, 2012 (UTC)

Pee on your Goddess

Thanks for the Pee Review of Discordianism! Even though you're a no-talent hack who's never done anything useful here whatsoever, at least you do more of it than I do. Seriously, thanks. I'll look over it; wish Miley was still here to tweak it. By the way, if you want to respond, please do so on my talk page. I don't check your talk page often. I don't like the smell of electric dog doo. By the way, I love you, Uncle. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:25, March 5, 2012 (UTC)

Pee on your Goddess 2

The Imperial Colonization Discordianism has been Pee Reviewed. I have no authority anymore to tell anyone to do anything, but check it out anyway! Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Discordianism (2) User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig10 03:12, March 5, 2012 (UTC)

Pee on this Goddess

Yo Puppy, I come with a real world problem. On Bing the James Bevel page was something like number 7 on his ping-list a few days ago, then it was gone entirely, yet around number 24 sits the mirror-site James Bevel page. So it seems that Bing is recognizing the mirror-site Bevel article as the only article. I went to the mirror-site and tried to at least update that one in case anybody goes down to 24 to research him, but I'd like to get the real page pushed up on the search engine lists. Apparantly it really is a historical article (it seems historians and everyone else aren't giving Bevel his due credit, and we now have a page which breaks real world historical news). Any ideas, both on this and on "pushing" the link uplist? And is there some way to zap the mirror-site page, or move its name (would that help get Bing to recognize the real article again?). Maybe if you haz a blog or a thousand friends with blogs, can you please paste up the James Bevel http:// address onto something? If so, thanks, and thanks for all the beans. Aleister 12:33 5-3-'12

p.s. Although I just checked out some other pages and both their Uncyclopedia page and the mirror site page are listed on Bing. If I were a con-sphere-uncy guy I'd wonder if the page has been blacklisted (maybe a pun too). Aleister, 15:18

Knowing theory on SEO and putting into practice are different things. Or in other words, I don't know how to do it effectively. Pup 08:19 05 Mar '12

I had a website that simply announced it was coming and asked people to contribute stuff; it was listed in the top 5 on Google. Then I put the site up with dozens of pages and images. Its ranking dropped to 49. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:49, March 5, 2012 (UTC)

Tim Leary's letterhead heading needs a better font

Hi Puppy, you are a dear. Thanks so much for the Uncyclopedian Nom. Win or lose its the Nom that counts. It would be nice to win some day because being appreciated is so much appreciated. Also our collab on Uncyclopedian, which also includes Aleister, and any one else who wants to help, is really getting good - or even IS good. With a message aimed at getting people to become registered users. I think its good stuff - well done. Now to my question: In the article Soma I make it start with a letter head header but it needs a more letterheadery style of heading font. How should I change the font? And what would look the best? Much appreciated. Cheers--Funnybony    10:46, Mar 7

I've just done a little playing there. You should be able to tweak that as you like. If you want to play with different fonts and see which one you like most, then this is probably my favourite site to start with for fonts. Personally I think I'm terrible at the whole desktop publishing thing relating to choosing fonts, but I can do the techie bit. And I'm ashamed to say I've never read Brave New World. You might like the song below. An Australian MC put it together about 15 years ago. Pup 11:57 07 Mar '12

Hey, psychedelic VDO, cool!! Thanks for the font info. If you're on FB ur welcome to friend me - BTW: Brave New World is a blueprint for the NWO, where "Thought Crimes" are preemptively punished. A total Corporatocracy-Police State, that should make the extreme right (fascists) and the extreme left (commies) both happy. It's Collectivism. And it's in he works right now, I tremble to say. Cheers!--Funnybony    13:18, Mar 7

Mackenzie Bowell

I liked that Mackenzie Bowell article you told me about so much that I asked RAHB to resurrect it into my userspace. That's all I have to say for now sir. -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 23:22, March 7, 2012 (UTC)

The one that was deleted did miss out on many of these aspects, and the ones it picked up on weren't that well executed. I was toying with the concept for a rewrite, which was how it leaked out of my brain onto your talkpage. Let me know when you get started on it as I'd love to do it as a collab. Pup 11:43 07 Mar '12

Ok

I did that because I wanted to tell him to stop vandalizing on Uncyclopedia...But, I do apologize for giving him my time which is indeed feeding him, terrible mistake, won't do it again. :) -- UserTalkContributions 03:50, March 9, 2012 (UTC)

Cool. Sorry for being so harsh there. Pup 04:10 09 Mar '12

There's a vandal I have a feature with. Aleister yesterday at 4

NotM

I see votes are flowing like hard water. An idea, why not move the voting to a new forum, like "Official votes concerning Noob of the Month". The present forum is so old and now misnamed that you can just copy and paste the voting section. Al days ago

Hello!

Any advice or criticism you could give for this story I'm working on?--CameHereInACloche (Talk) 05:02, March 10, 2012 (UTC)

Haven't read it yet. Hopefully soon, but more likely to get to it on UN:PEE sooner. --Pup 01:30, March 11, 2012 (UTC)

It's not even done yet. Hopefully I'll find some time to do some typing.--CameHereInACloche (Talk) 04:15, March 11, 2012 (UTC)

Fishing for compliments

Rejoice, Puppy! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

---

Funny because I was thinking of giving you one of these anyway; for all the good work you've been doing in general at Pee Review. However I'm pretty forgetful and I'm never sure if any users even want this terrible award. --Black Flamingo 15:06, March 10, 2012 (UTC)

Was the header addressed to me? Or am I just being paranoid?--CameHereInACloche (Talk) 17:23, March 10, 2012 (UTC)

Paranoid. It was very much directed to me. Which is fine, as long as I get the compliment I'm happy to continue fishing. Pup 10:17 10 Mar '12

Cloche, you are a funny guy. Will that suffice? --Black Flamingo 00:05, March 11, 2012 (UTC)

Timestamps

I know we've discussed this previously, but please use a real timestamp. Not only does changing the format make it harder to follow a conversation in context, but due to the fact that pages on the wiki are cached the relative times also tend to be horribly wrong anyway. 1234 ~ 23:14, 10 March 2012

Fine. --Pup 01:28, March 11, 2012 (UTC)

Thank you for your cooperation. Your skull may yet not go on display in the Museum of Exquisite Derision. 1234 ~ 06:30, 11 March 2012

Do you know how much not having that in my sig is bugging me? I'm so used to 3 tilde signatures. Pup 02:41, March 12, 2012 (UTC)

My condolences

I apologize for not putting you on this list. I'm really sorry sir. And by the way, I do like your signature.

No hard feelings, right? -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 23:24, March 10, 2012 (UTC)

Why am I not on your list? : ( —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:47, 10 March 2012

Sex appeal. Pup 01:31, March 11, 2012 (UTC)

HEY YOU

Did you notice that the gif on your user page is three pixels below where it should be? Are you going to do something about that? --ShabiDOO 04:22, March 12, 2012 (UTC)

Your most recent VFH nom

You seem to be under the mistaken impression that I was involved in the, let's see in my paperwork here, article, um, u-n-c-y-c-l-o-p-e-d-i-a-n, uncyclopedian, by a Mr. Funnybony. As my records indicate, I may have made one edit, such as a comma or something, and in no way am associated with said article. Please correct this slight posthaste, or I shall be forced to take it up with those who rule with the iron fist and who laugh at the futility of man. Your cooperation in this matter is of no concern, either way my persona as a Mr. "Aleister in Chains" shall be protected by nonassociation with your and Funnybony's site-themed article. Good day sir. Aleister 7:16 this day-this month-this year

I didn't check what you'd changed, and am lazy enough that I'd rather give you credit than check that it's worth giving you credit. Make your mark on the Nom page that you choose to have as much to do with it as Clive Barker did for Hellraiser: Revelations. Pup 07:35 12-03-12

Well, maybe just cross my name off. But I'll mention it when I vote "no" on the page (several times, IP's included). And thank you for the link to the Hellraiser cover art, for now I know what it truly means to feel the sting of accupuncture. Aleister five minutes later and not a second more

Alternatively you can make more edits to it, which will mean you're one of the cool kids. Pup ·

Nah, to be serious, I looked at the page when Funnybony suggested a collab and the thing was already done. I made some minor adjustments to it for the sake of sake, but not enough for a feature-1/2 credit. The page is pretty good as it is now. Or not (my IP's and socks seem to be in disagreement). Aleister what is time, but gossemer wings on the back of a something something something bird.

Change has been made. Pup ·

And thank you for pointing me toward the work of Isaac Titsing, the renowned Dutch brewer. Pup ·

And thus we come full circle: Titsingh, Issac. Beschreiving van het naalde steeken en baxabranden. Paris Medical Faculty. Manuscript No. 45 (anc. No. 26). This is a translation fo a Sino-Japanese treatise containing 80 drawings which show that hte needles were inserted in the most painful area and into points elsewhere. (from his talk page on wikipedia. a)

Fancy new identity

I have zero to say about time stamps as I want to stay firmly behind the radiation shield on that topic ... but I had to comment on the new sig. That is really cool. Do you think ... that if ... maybe you had a chance ... you could ... just maybe ... maybe show me how to make my colours fade towards the end (p.s. its hard to tell if I like this one...or the animated dog and old record player one). --ShabiDOO 10:53, March 12, 2012 (UTC)

That's easy. Each letter is in it's own span. [[User:PuppyOnTheRadio|<span style="color:#000">P</span><span style="color:#111">u</span><span style="color:#222">p</span><span style="color:#333">p</span><span style="color:#444">y</span>]] [[User talk:PuppyOnTheRadio|<span style="color:#555">D</span><span style="color:#666">e</span><span style="color:#777">b</span><span style="color:#888">a</span><span style="color:#999">r</span><span style="color:#aaa">k</span><span style="color:#bbb">e</span><span style="color:#ccc">d</span>]] Like that. Pup 11:08 12 Mar '12

Oh...I assumed there was just a code that did that for you. I'll get around to that some time then. Thanks! --ShabiDOO 11:12, March 12, 2012 (UTC)

I could probably code it except that it would involve a count and then a loop. The problem there is that I don't know how to loop effectively in wiki-fu. (Actually, I don't know how to do it at all, and only vaguely recall seeing that as an extension once, and never seen it in practice.) I could code it through js, but I can't do site-wide js. Pup 12:23 13 Mar '12

I would appreciate it of course...but I'm thinking of a new set of two colours before I think about making the colours fade. Thanks anways, we need no loops and extensions and js's or AIDS or any other anagrams. --ShabiDOO 12:11, March 13, 2012 (UTC)

I did something the other day where I went from one color to the other simply by incrementing the R and B and increasing the G to the midpoint and then gradually decreasing again. That probably makes no sense, but it looked good. Basically went 18e, 28d, 39c, 49b, 5aa, 6a9, 7b8, 8b7, 9a6, aa5, b94, c93, d82, e81. That's my lazy way of transitioning from colour to colour. Pup 12:27 13 Mar '12

Snips and snails

Yeah thanks for that review; there are some great ideas in there. It's funny you should mention slugs because I always thought the rhyme was slugs too, not snips. The title was given to me in the Happy Monkey contest, and then when I looked it up on Wikipedia they used snips, so, yeah, weird. --Black Flamingo 00:17, March 13, 2012 (UTC)

I think snips works better for the article. Maybe there should be something in there relating to the discovery the third element wasn't slugs as originally thought? Pup 12:25 13 Mar '12

I am going to write something about slugs too, I think. Yes, that might do :) --Black Flamingo 00:27, March 13, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks

For the reviews and the additions on 1984 (book). Very helpful. It seems a lot of people read the book, I hope I can make a good one :P IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH, brother! Mattsnow 21:36, March 13, 2012 (UTC)

I know that book very well. One of my favourite books, so YOU BETTER NOT FUCK THIS ARTICLE UP! But no pressure. Pup 10:20 13 Mar '12

Hahaha, well, I'm rewriting it, but I think I won't keep much of the original, except a couple of pics and the comparison table. The IP who wrote it in 2007 was on crack. Mattsnow 22:25, March 13, 2012 (UTC)

Talking about great books (and slightly in the tradition of 1984, in terms of trashing ideas through literature) you should get the book "Cain" by Saramago (the same author as "Blindness"). It was incredible. Also...theres a couple DVDs about beastiality porn which TKF recommended me. I didn't like it..but Im sure you both will! --ShabiDOO 22:47, March 13, 2012 (UTC)

Pfff... I'll definitely look for it (the book lol), I'm trying to get my hands on the English version of 1984 at the public library (there's like 12 in French and only one in English in the whole city). I can't believe a conspiracy aficionado like me didn't read that sooner! Thanks for the book suggestion, if you have other in the genre, please tell! Also, I assume you've seen the movie they made about it in 1984? As always, the book is better than the movie, but it's a freaking good one and it's on Google videos. Mattsnow 01:19, March 14, 2012 (UTC)

Good movie. Filmed on location and music done by Eurythmics, starring John Hurt and a woman whose name I can't remember but she had a great body. Pup 01:33 14 Mar '12

For "Cain" you should read it in French, as it was written in Protuguese and you'll have a better reading in French then. I would also recommend his book before "The journey of the Elephant" which was also really nice. My favourite book in French is "Le petit Nicolas" which I assume you read it Mattsnow, and who knows, maybe you too puppy, and my favourite Australian book is "The Slap" which you probably heard about Puppy, and which you probably have happen to you by lots of women Mattsnow. I'm going to see Intouchables, which people say is the best French flim they have ever seen and is still in the cinema, which may be better than "Les invasions barbares" which currently is my favourite Canadian movie/french language movie. The best Australian movie I saw was Muriels Wedding which must be seen every couple years. I recommend all of these books and movies to all of you. And now that you know lots of useless information about my literary/cinematic preferences, you can go vandalize my user page. --ShabiDOO 02:36, March 14, 2012 (UTC)

I don't even know "Le petit Nicolas", but I get slapped a lot. I'm glad at least a lot of people read 1984, as you seem to have, Shab (did you?). I rewrite it as a part of conservation week, but I'll continue after that if necessary, this shit has to have the best article possible! And I know Les Invasions Barbares was one hell of a Quebec success, but I didn't see that one too! Mattsnow 02:52, March 14, 2012 (UTC)

Hmm.

What is this? -- UserTalkContributions 00:26, March 14, 2012 (UTC)

Excrement. MrN 00:31, Mar 14

See the VFD entry. Pup 12:47 14 Mar '12

Oops, I thought it was vandalism for a second there. Nevertheless, keep up the great work. :) -- UserTalkContributions 00:50, March 14, 2012 (UTC)

Don't encourage him. It only makes him edit more. MrN 00:53, Mar 14

Don't worry about it. I'm illetterite anyway, Pup 01:35 14 Mar '12