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The Thunderstorm of 1976 was the largest torrential downpour of precipitation I have ever witnessed in my life.
I also kicked its ass.
It lasted approximately four hours over Kansas City, Missouri. It was determined to flood the entire Midwest and drown every carbon-based lifeform within Kansas City, and it would have done exactly that if not for my efforts to utterly destroy it.
Oh God, where do I even start. Well, I was sitting at home watching the Royals/Yankees game with Ernesto, our home's gardener. All of a sudden, from outside, I hear, "FFFFFAFFFGHGHGHGAAAFFAAANG'HNNNNGAIUSJULIUSCEASAR NNNNN AAAAAAA ANNNAANAAAAA" Having an experienced ear, I knew it was the sound of fat water droplets descending from the sky and landing upon my roof (also, someone saying "Julius Caesar"). I quickly changed stations to the local news. They were warning everyone to stay inside.
Right about this time my wife walked in. She shouts, "Oh Jon, you big, sexy, well-endowed epitome of man! What are we going to do?!" I simply looked at her, giving her that look of, "Shut up woman, get on my horse." (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years?
- ... that Jackson Pollock is the Jackson Pollock of painting?
- ... the muffin man?
- ... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?
- ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
- ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
- ... that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.
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