User:SPIKE/UnNews archive 1
Archive of User:SPIKE/UnNews for February-June, 2010
Contributions[edit | edit source]
Talk page for UnNews and UnNews Audio[edit | edit source]
A discussion that preceded my first recording is at User talk:The Humbled Master.
UnNews:Government Unveils Shatter-proof Pint[edit | edit source]
Damn funny, Spike. Perfect! Was that up for FA? Next time let me know, because you can always count on my vote. Be cool!!!--Funnybony 14:07, February 5, 2010 (UTC)
- Believe me, a quick read of the referenced AP wire and this one wrote itself. Credit Mr.N. for a funnier lead. Cheers. Spıke ¬ 14:20 5-Feb-10
Just the same, I really like your jokes and subtle style (dead pan), so next time you have anything up for FA be sure to let me know, so I don't miss the voting.
After all your input ITSCON has become a pretty solid article. About as good as your going to get from a outside-insider of any religion. I'm proud of that article. And it never did piss off that group, cause it's all true (in a tip-of-the-iceberg kinda way) and documented. They were quite a freak show back in the 70s and 80s, but people who grew up after that mostly don't know them. Anyway, no names were mentioned at all. They should be honored to have a page in Uncyclopedia.
MrN has given me a huge amount of help too. He's really cool. He did a rewrite of Laird Hamilton and 2012 that make them so much better. I never got anywhere in life without a partner in whatever. I was in a band, but couldn't do it alone, no way. Thanks again for all your time spent teaching me - specially common sense - and please DO let me know when your up for a vote.--Funnybony 14:47, February 5, 2010 (UTC)
Audio UnNews[edit | edit source]
Excellenty work on File:PC encryption chip hacked.mp3 dude. The teletype is great, diction and delivery great, and I especially love the tip of the hat to me in the form of your saying, "thank you for suffering" as a sign off. Please keep up the good work. Cheers! 
Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 20:25, February 10, 2010 (UTC)
UnNews:Conservative member quits Nova Scotia legislature in wake of spending scandal[edit | edit source]
Conversation began on his talk page
Promising concept! Needs a lot of editing! "spend" should be "spent" in at least 3 places; also add links and bold/italics. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 14:24 12-Feb-10
Yeah it was still a work in progress at the time you commented on my wall, I've also started an article on a recent trade done by the Toronto Maple Leafs --Uncle J 15:59, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
- Yes, I read that one too--It could also use some tightening up and typographical flourishes. I might have dug in on the Nova Scotia story, as I did yesterday on the Clinton/wink story, but the NS story ended mid-sentence and I didn't know how to finish it. You need to do on the Leafs story what you did on the NS story--have the first paragraph be short and to the point, in order to better resemble a newspaper article. Today's dispatch from me is the one on Google and China. Spıke ¬ 16:10 12-Feb-10
UnNews:Belligerent Bird Taser Hits its Target[edit | edit source]
Discussion began on his talk page
Good concept--but it's not in the form of a newspaper article but a scientific paper! It may, it should, get tagged or huffed, but if so, please change the form and resubmit. I doubt that Uncyclopedia will ever encompass UnScienceJournal (unless perhaps that's your calling) but that's where this dispatch belongs, not UnNews, unless its form changes radically. Spıke ¬ 00:41 13-Feb-10
- Thanks, dude! Right-o! I hope it's OK now. If you see any changes needed could you please let me know or make the changes? Let's try to keep it alive.--Funnybony 20:03, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
No it isn't. I've rewritten the first two paragraphs to lead with a very concise summary, as is the fashion at UnNews. I deleted a lot of text I think came from the former abstract and thus duplicated what would be said in the next couple paragraphs. You need to insert a bunch of links, boldface the first occurrence of names of agencies and people, and for some reason, italicize all the quotes.
(I have considered the possibility that you actually worked at the Belligerent Bird Defense Agency (BBDA) for a couple of years, grew disaffected, and this press release is some sort of coded expression of your disdain for the agency, which will only be recognizable by those currently on the inside.) Spıke ¬ 21:24 13-Feb-10
- If you've ever come into contact with a Belligerent Bird, then you would realize the extent of the problem. Great cleanup and editing. Bravo!!!--Funnybony 07:32, February 14, 2010 (UTC)
UnNews:Lead singer of The Clash dead at 57[edit | edit source]
Discussion begun on his talk page
I'm afraid I need your opinion! Is the above dispatch more funny than it is tasteless? Spıke ¬ 17:02 15-Feb-10
- Yeah! that's a good one, bro, sure! It's soooo sad about the poor chappy!!! But the Song Remains the Same!--Funnybony 17:17, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
- Wonderful!!! It gives a fuzzy and warm feeling to be RIGHT about something, once, in my freakin' life--Funnybony 07:53, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
And--what would that have been? Spıke ¬ 12:50 16-Feb-10
- Well, it's just that years ago I predicted this event, to the day!--Funnybony 13:14, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
So it was right there in your DayRunner, Feb. 15, Fieger bites it? And when I asked you to preview the story for tastelessness yesterday, you had not heard the news, you just thought it was the right day for the fictional obit? Spıke ¬ 13:37 16-Feb-10
- I'm busted!!! BTW: Could you take a look at this news before I post it? Is it good enough? Can you work your well practiced magic on this...?
UnNews:UnRock Awarded Most unFamous Band on Earth[edit | edit source]
Draft of UnNews article formerly stuck into my talk page
Conceptual problems: The way I use UnNews is to impart an unusual take on the news of the day (in my case, prompted by reading the AP wire). The big problem with this story is its utter un-newsworthiness. It is proudly un-newsworthy. I suppose it could work, but any writing, even here, has to sell itself to the reader, and I don't think it does.
Details: The Reverend does it too, but I think swears in an UnNews article, and especially in the headline, break the canon of being a "news service" and are more offputting to some English speakers (central USA) than they are to us on the coasts. The very first two words of the story lead the reader to a conclusion; instead, the piece should induce the reader to conclude for himself that the band is "absolutely atrocious." Spokesmen "who did not exist" trashes the reader's credulity, and the final paragraph is just gas. Much of this article tries to convey your joy at writing sheer goofiness, not convey anything the reader necessarily wants to read. High points: A rock band that does not want fame, and above all does not want oral sex from groupies, is indeed newsworthy. Spıke ¬ 15:36 16-Feb-10
- Thanks again!!! Much appreciated perspective. I ran with your advice as much as I could, and couldn't resist. I think you'll like the final version much more. Cheers!--Funnybony 16:45, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 16:47, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
Goldstein nomination[edit | edit source]
It may interest you to know that you've been nominated for this piece of crap. When I was a little kid, visiting my aunt in Westford, she used to talk about going shopping "at Na-shway dere" in her endearing pseudo-French Canuck accent. I normally don't bother with awards and such (which probably makes me an asshole, but as a narcissist, I don't care). Congratulations! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:36, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
- Nominated? By whom?! (Don't bother--I already looked it up.) Thank you for the welcome; if I win, cool; if you can use it to induce someone else to be a bigger contributor, that's cooler. I haven't played with audio since I had a tape-cassette-based answering machine, but it's been great fun so far. Shopping in Nashua is still done, but not by me. CompUSA and Circuit City are bankrupt, and Best Buy is the only gadget store left in town, and they have nothing neat that don't require registration and a two-year commitment. Spıke ¬ 03:52 13-Feb-10
I'm based in Lowell, but my consciousness is actually housed in an aquarium at my doctors office. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 05:40, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
- Then I might see you at an All-Americans game this summer--especially as my usual haunts are now permanently out of contention. Spıke ¬ 12:26 13-Feb-10
That will never happen. I hate sports (unless we're counting martial arts, sex, and 400 meter downhill wife-beating). I had been to that stadium a lifetime ago when I used to take my boys to see the Pirates, but that was certainly not for my benefit. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:51, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
UnNews help request[edit | edit source]
Hey Spike, if you have time and inclination could you please comment on the below. Last time you made all the difference, really. Thanks in advance... --Funnybony 08:46, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
- No, what happened last time is that I got you to take the swears out of an UnNews story. My main point was ignored, and it applies again on this article. You are not at UnNews because of a desire to twist current news for humorous effect. Here again, you go there because you have invented a goofy idea that you want people to see. Yesterday, I complained to the Reverend that none of the UnNews had anything to do with the news! (One of the culprits was his, indicating that the technique is not a violation of any rule.)
- And indeed I came to you with a specific question on the tastelessness of a proposed article, not to volunteer to get back into the business of being a regular copy-editor, which has led to too much drama in the past. The only "adopting" I do is to guide certain authors toward certain articles that are appropriate vehicles for their, uh, gifts. Spıke ¬ 13:54 18-Feb-10
- Dude! Thanks. So apart from being fictional news, the piece is OK. Thanks for even reading it!--Funnybony 16:27, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
VFH nom for UnNews:Haiti frees American missionaries[edit | edit source]
I thought you'd like to know, I nommed this for VFH. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 18:39, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
- You shall have an audio! Spıke ¬ 19:06 18-Feb-10
- The audio is installed; the article is changed. As well as pointing to the audio, I added a sentence to the photo caption, by way of explaining the gesture of one of the prisoners. Spıke ¬ 19:16 18-Feb-10
UnNews:Nut-job crashes into IRS; America points fingers[edit | edit source]
A very nice quick and funny description of the nation's reaction to the Income tax crasher hero/devil planeboy (he gave his life for his country, the bastard). Summarized very well in satire. I'd vote for this for an instant feature, but the problem on vfh is that current UnNews stales as it waits for the vote. Thanks, I enjoyed the read. Aleister in Chains 12:38 19 Feb. MMX
- p.s. The version I read contained Mr.N's line for Biden, which seemed to work well, then he took it out. The innernests do play a big part in this story, our new Angel/Demon used them well.
Thanks! I learned the news on the way to a basketball doubleheader, and learned of Biden's latest gaffe on the way back home. Had trouble remaining connected last evening and went to bed not knowing whether the story got in. Kip the Dip has written a talk page lamenting that I beat him to the story.
I've removed Mr.N's second quotation, actually for Chris Matthews, without reverting to the quotation I had. Better to get straight to Matthews's recommendation (the arrest of Palin). PS--There is more to the story, commented-out, of only regional interest. Spıke ¬ 13:18 19-Feb-10
- An idea if you want it. Grab the photo of Joe Stack with the guitar from somewhere, label it Pete Seeger, and have him singing "I dreamed I saw Joe Stack last night, alive as you and me" etc, from the Joe Hill song. Someone somewhere is going to write that song to the lyrics of Joe Hill, why not get a jump on them at Uncy. Yours in Stack, Aleister in Chains 14.18 19 Feb. MMX
My connection is still dicy this morning. Your idea is clearly a job for Funnybony, if he's still watching this page.
PS--Aleister, please edit a section rather than the entire page; this will make it easier to see what section changed, and to zoom right there (by clicking on the arrow in the watch list). Spıke ¬ 14:29 19-Feb-10
- Thsnks, I've never used the edit button at a section before. Advice learned. Al
- Nor have I ever clicked on the arrow on the watchlist, didn't know what that was for and never much thought about it. You gave me a double-lesson with one comment, thanks again. Al
- Thsnks, I've never used the edit button at a section before. Advice learned. Al
UnNews:Obama to try health care one more time[edit | edit source]
I enjoyed your Obama article, and the edit to the laser-eyed cats article. You're right, Veterinary Impunity is much better. In the future, in order to more betterly suck up to me, note that I am an enthusiast of all things Bat Fuck. I consider the UnMeme "Bat Fuck Insane" to be an offshoot of general Bat-Fuckery. Metaphorically, it's like the relationship between the theory of relativity and the cosmological constant. Well, OK, it's isn't. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:02, February 23, 2010 (UTC)
- Yes, at some point, I looked at your user page; as the article's talk page notes, I stuck "Bat Fuck Insane" in for you. Regarding laser-eyed cats: Yes, well, as you have already pleaded inability to make your dispatches have anything to do with the news, the least I can do is make the names of invented state agencies look a little less pulled-out-of-a-bodily-orifice.
- If you are watching me, then you saw me joust with Funnybony a couple days ago (he supported by Mr.N.) on ending an article with an Obama quote that instead parodies Clinton! My assumption is that people who read UnNews will be people who follow the news just a little; thus, while random shooting into the dark can be funny, shots that ricochet off reality are preferable. Spıke ¬ 15:19 23-Feb-10
Shall we have a Flame War?[edit | edit source]
No, I actually haven't been watching you... closely. This morning the thought struck me, that it might be amusing and productive to get a flame war going, one side advocating strictly reality-based UnNews, the other pushing a Bat Fuck, completely off the wall agenda (I'm always thinking about whoring UnNews). We could fix the fight in favor of the real-seeming news, with the Bat Fuck side slowly devolving into stupid insults and rants, or something like that.
Of course, the idea is to elevate UnNews profile, create new articles, and amuse ourselves. I haven't gotten past thinking about writing this sentence, so, your thoughts, please? Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:46, February 23, 2010 (UTC)
- That is a concept so batfuck crazy that it can only be true. It's almost like the war between Pespi and Coke. Nominally Humane! some time 20:24, 23/02/2010
- Let me get this straight! I am to be goaded into a flame war, something all admins here just love, I am to defend the simple proposition that UnNews should parody the news, and should take slings and arrows from every Attention Whore who is using UnNews simply to get a lot of people to read their latest "wackey" thought, instigated by you, claiming you will let my side win, when we know for a fact you believe UnNews should reflect nothing but Bat Fuck Insanity?! And who, when your instigation is laid bare, will simply claim it was to boost traffic to UnNews, as though you were doing gonzo advertising with a Lite-Brite®? This is treachery, pure and simple! Who are you going to get to read the news when they run me out of town on a rail?! Spıke ¬ 20:47 23-Feb-10
- Jeezus, that would work wonders as a screaming rant on UnNews Audio. Spıke ¬ 20:53 23-Feb-10
Spike, you must record that rant! Even I am in awe! Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 22:53, February 23, 2010 (UTC)
Trust me, if anyone is to be run out on a rail, it would be me. I'm a little weird for Uncyclopedia, yet slightly more prehensile than Illogicopedia. I just do what I do because nobody stops me.
Let's table the flamewar idea for now, if it's all the same to you. Frankly, the way things have been behaving in my local spacetime lately, we've got some large decisions to make soon, I'm too distracted. Besides... I want to save all my venom for my brother, who is deserving at this time. I may not be writing as much dreck for a while either. This thing with being distracted, you know? So, carry on, and even moreso, if at all... Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 23:32, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
- In fact, I spent a few minutes refining the script of the rant. Problem is, I would first have to file it in written form--an UnNews dispatch--and, being on the side I am on in the proposed flame war, I do not like it when UnNews talks about UnNews. (It's like Laugh-In or Saturday Night Live when they stopped trying to be funny and decided they and their palace intrigue were just inherently funny.) Recall, I like dispatches that have just a bit to do with the news. The rant would have been good radio, but the clear undercurrent is annoyance that other UnNews users don't share my values, and that is especially inappropriate as an UnNews article. In fact, it wouldn't build traffic or the profile of UnNews either, given that you would have to already have gone there to know that it happened.
- Now, I assume the bit about these large decisions "we" have to make is another cryptic reference to your personal life--as opposed to, say, Wikia deciding to require police background checks of all writers. If I need to know more (and I doubt it), you can always e-mail me. Spıke ¬ 01:12 25-Feb-10
[Goldstein Award] congratulations[edit | edit source]
originally on my user talk; response on his talk page
I stuck one on your user page so you can show it off. Well deserved congratulations for this award and the other fine work you've done here. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 10:36, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
UnNews:Sen. Bunning blocks loot, embarrassing everyone[edit | edit source]
moved from my talk page
- ...In the meantime, take a look at today's UnNews dispatch and tell me if it is funny to someone who doesn't hang on the Washington play-by-play. Spıke ¬ 01:01 3-Mar-10
Hadded a look. I get the point. The only non-local issue in there is understanding of Democrats = left-wing (as I constantly stuff that up, as our right wing party is called Liberal and our left-wing party are republicans). Not the funniest article I've ever read, but has a kernel within it. Nominally Humane! some time 01:16, 3/03/2010
- Thanks. Knowledge of Republican versus Democrat is problematic on any article about US politics--except this one, as in this episode, both parties are on exactly the same side: Let's take care of Bunning so we can get back to spending! I asked Rev. Zim whether it merited an audio and he said, Go for it; which, as sower of a Thousand Blooming UnNews Flowers, he probably would have said so even if it were crap. So your opinion counts double, coming from outside. (Australia, right?) Spıke ¬ 01:24 3-Mar-10
Yep. That's right mate. Bewdy Bonza. Shrimp on barbie, Bruce. etc. Nominally Humane! some time 01:39, 3/03/2010
ninjastars[edit | edit source]
Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 02:28, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
Thank you, Reverend. As I said on your talk page, you do understand the nuts and bolts of motivating your contributors. At the moment, though, three things are going on: (1) The only big news I'm following is Obama's "final push" for "health care," of which UnNews readers have had enough; (2) my WiFi connection is still crappy in the wake of the soggy weather that produced the recent 4-day power outage here--I am sitting in my parked car right now, which is the only decent Hot Spot; and (3) I am despairing a bit at my ability to make any difference amid the junk UnNews about fantasy lawsuits which don't even read like news, unless the news you read is of high-school pep rallies. (Smarm?) Spıke ¬ 03:36 6-Mar-10
- Sorry to hear about your woes. The beauty of Uncyc is you can pick up and vanish, as when my computer was down for months, come back, and fit right back in. Do not despair. ... And as for smarm? I just like the sound of the word smarmy. Cheers!
Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 04:58, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
A baseball game?[edit | edit source]
Begun on Zim's talk page You may have misunderstood my remark a couple weeks ago about meeting some day next June at an All-Americans game. This doesn't involve going to Nashua and paying $7, but going to Exit 38 and paying $3. You don't have to care about baseball--though you have to humor me and let me keep a scorecard--but, as casual observers often note, there are tons of idle moments and lots of fresh air. Spıke ¬ 13:44 3-Mar-10
- With regard to your invitation for fresh air and screaming about how the umpires mom swims out to meet troop ships, we don't travel well. We're both on permanent disability for back problems, which prevent us from traveling very far (Nashua is a bit far for us). Then there's the problem of seating. Sitting on bleachers for about an hour (maybe an hour and a half, if we were smoking good weed and took an extra pain med) would probably put us out of commission the next day. We can last up to four hours in a comfortable chair (not too cushy, not too hard). In summary, it's not that I wouldn't like to hang out with you, it's just that we spend the majority of our time at home, trying in vain to clean our house, bitching about Uncyclopedia, and resting after trying to clean our house. Perhaps we could do something else. ... Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 04:58, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
Given the above, I withdraw my recommendation. I have for years described the wooden bleachers at Stoklosa Field as the hardest in the NECBL. There are remedies, such as the padded fabric seats with their own backs that Wal-Mart sells, but it doesn't sound like a good time for you. Spıke ¬ 05:15 6-Mar-10
- No, not a good time at all. I am having a good time right now, though, and that's something. I hope I didn't come across as a miserable prick. Rather, I think we're content most days. My brother, who's a pretentious narcissistic douche bag in Tyngsboro, is the miserable prick. I am more like your uncle, the one with massive ear hair, who constantly hears music by Ralph Towner playing in his head, and occasionally makes a decent stir fried dish. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 06:27, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
Coding help please?[edit | edit source]
Can you fix this? I'm wanting to have the user's name show up where that BASEPAGENAME constant is, and I'm stuck. You have my permission to make it look more better fancier if you like, but it's not necessary. Thanks in advance. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 04:58, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
- Haven't got it all figured out, but BASEPAGENAME seems to be how you pick up the user's name (as, according to the documentation, you are to put the template on his user page). But it didn't work for me. It does work below. Maybe the insertion of
<includeonly>inhibits its correct operation.
- Nope. I don't understand inclusion enough to know how this is supposed to work. Either ask a user who's an expert with WikiMedia, or stop using BASEPAGENAME or resign yourself to typing the user's name as an argument of {{Notice of Promotion}}. Spıke ¬ 05:25 6-Mar-10
Thanks for your efforts. I'll keep on plugging along. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 06:04, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
zim_ulators promotion list[edit | edit source]
You've made the list, which is in my head right now. More information will be available when documentation and the promotion template are complete. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 13:40, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
I took your suggestion and just manually entered the promotees name instead of that funky BASEPAGENAME nightmare. So, congratulations, here's your official promotion.
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Let it be known across the breadth of the internet that I do hereby promote Uncyclopedia user SPIKE, in accordance to the rules and articles of the Uncyclopedian Administration Handbook, to the rank of Officer Designate. You are entitled to all the rights and privileges accorded to a Officer Designate. Congratulations and welcome to the New World Order.
Signed Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:04, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
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Being asked for editing help on the tool of one's own promotion is as weird, but not as bad, as being asked to mix one's own lethal injection.
I'm glad you gave up on the BASEPAGENAME trick. Especially as I will eventually move this all to my UnNews page, which would have broken the template (as archiving would have done too). Spıke ¬ 16:48 6-Mar-10
- Heh heh... lethal injection. Yeah, I hadn't gotten so far as to think of such consequences of using BASEPAGENAME. Hm... that might make a good user name... I wonder if registering as user:BASEPAGENAME could bring Wikia to it's knees? Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 18:59, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
Of course not, as User:BASEPAGENAME is not Template:BASEPAGENAME. If you insisted on using the wrong prefix, you could use the guy's user page as a template, but you can already do that to anyone. Spıke ¬ 19:37 6-Mar-10
Kudos from Romartus[edit | edit source]
I listened to your audio versions of your recent articles Spike. Excellent work! --
RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:25, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
I think you are now the Voice of Uncyclopedia Spike! Thanks for turning some of my contributions into audio versions. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 06:53, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
- Thank you for the compliment, and for providing me with material! In fact, Ljlego had a contribution, in an Alfred Hitchcock style, and I left it on the most-recent list for an extra week in case anyone wants to listen to an audio not by me, but it has now timed out. Spıke ¬ 10:24 10-May-10
No, you are my sockpuppet[edit | edit source]
I've clarified the situation RE you're being my sockpuppet on my user page. Check it out. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 12:33, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
- So I am your creation, is it? Also a mention in UnSignpost, proving that no one can simply skulk around and do useful things. Fortunately, UnSignpost gives the impression that you and Mordillo did all the work. I have long relied on superiors to provide such needed political cover in the rare case that I actually write something good. Spıke ¬ 12:45 12-Mar-10
- I am sorry that the impression was given, since I think you did by far everything on that page with Zim giving the feedback and me causing trouble, as usual. ~
14:02, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
- I am sorry that the impression was given, since I think you did by far everything on that page with Zim giving the feedback and me causing trouble, as usual. ~
- Seriously, it's not a problem, just an opportunity to poke youse in the ribs. Spıke ¬ 14:05 12-Mar-10
It's possible that I am your sock-puppet, Spike, and that I did not exist until you registered as an Uncyc user. We'll need to explain how I have a history here since 2006, though. Any ideas? Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 11:44, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
UnNews:No ICANN decision on new domain for porn[edit | edit source]
Hi Spike! I enjoyed your .xxx UnNews. Good one! (What about .com OR .cum ? - Seems a lot easier!?). I know you like real news. I was trying to NOT do anything, but when I read that actor Cory Haim just died of Soma I just couldn't resist. Especially since it happened 2 whole days ago. And it's a first! Cheers!--Funnybony 
21:30, Mar 12
- You're going to tell me you saw this one coming?! I saw the headline, thought Brave New World, and knew it was one of yours. Like the gay Oregon libertarian, sometimes you have to read the Source article.
- Dot-cum is too graphic for my UnNews taste. I only included "cream pie" to hump my article Pie, excuse the pun. You can see my alternative to graphic humor in Section 5.
- Yes, I like news-based UnNews. I did you the great favor of not dedicating the rewritten UnNews Style Guide to you, but was thinking partly of you when writing Section 3.2 (what to be careful about when writing made-up news) and Section 4 (how to make it look like news). This is not obligatory (and Section 1 says so; it's an "ignorable policy," and you have the writing skill to make an otherwise crap concept worth reading) but it is more than merely my opinion, but rules about good news writing that are widely followed. Spıke ¬ 21:42 12-Mar-10
- Yeah, pompous and pretentious, just like that! You may have a future at Uncyc yet. wink, wink, nudge, nudge Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 11:46, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
- Yeah, pompous and pretentious, just like that! You may have a future at Uncyc yet. wink, wink, nudge, nudge
Oh, and I did so enjoy the article too. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 11:47, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
UnNews:Out-of-court settlement reached over silent piece of music[edit | edit source]
I dare you to read this for audio, and make it funny. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 04:07, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
- I did see that, and thought it went well with today's UnFunnies. No dice, Chief; one of my serious principles is opposition to "dead air," even with TeleTypes rattling away in the background. Spıke ¬ 14:10 14-Mar-10
- Agreed about dead air. Very good of you to notice the coincidence of the article and the nihilism UnToon. That's the reason I challenged your creative mind, to come up with a funny audio of this. I myself can't imagine how I'd do it. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:30, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
- Agreed about dead air. Very good of you to notice the coincidence of the article and the nihilism UnToon. That's the reason I challenged your creative mind, to come up with a funny audio of this. I myself can't imagine how I'd do it. Cheers!
Bad URLs through finance.yahoo.com[edit | edit source]
Hey Spike, I've read a couple of your unnewses. First, let me say that they're really good. Second, and this is what I actually wanted to talk to you about, I noticed you used a couple sources linked via yahoo. I couldn't read those sources, instead I was redirected to yahoo search. I suspect it's because I don't have a yahoo account. —Sir Socky
(talk) (stalk)
GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:31, 14 March 2010
- Thanks for the praise, Socky. I did see you editing my URLs a week ago. I don't have a Yahoo account either, and you should get the same thing I get by using the same URL. My theory is that, when AP revises the article, Yahoo deletes its own copy of the previous version or deprecates its old URL. It doesn't seem to happen on
myway.com, which I use for everything but Finance, and I've been relying on their rendition since you had the problems with the Yahoo links. Spıke ¬ 16:39 14-Mar-10
Ah, well anyway, I'm just telling you because it's probably a lot easier for you to find the url of the original source using the article on yahoo finance, by googling the text or maybe yahoo has a link to it somewhere? Then again, maybe some of those articles aren't available online, except on yahoo. Well, I don't know much about this online news source business either way. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 17:15, 14 March 2010
Thanks, dude![edit | edit source]
Hi Spike! As always thanks for the advice and also edits. I'm getting better with help of Locals like you. I really appreciate when you explain your edits - because then I learn, and will avoid that mistake again. Cheers--Funnybony 15:36, Mar 17
You, sir, rock![edit | edit source]
A personal thank you. Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 16:53, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
You, sir, are hilarious[edit | edit source]
I love the Happy Sasquatch Day logo! Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:13, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
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Cheers! Rev. zim_ulator is amused! You have succeeded in both a- and b-musing zim, |
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Happy Sasquatch Appreciation Day!
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| March 24 is Sasquatch Appreciation Day, as decreed by Reverend zim_ulator. Please join me in celebration of the noble Sasquatch and his innumerable contributions to Uncyclopedia. |
- Chief! when did Zippy the Pinhead become a Sasquatch?! Spıke ¬ 23:35 24-Mar-10
- I LOVE Zippy the Pinhead. "Um..." Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:13, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
- I LOVE Zippy the Pinhead. "Um..."
Easter stories[edit | edit source]
Wow, an Uncyclopedia Easter is irreverant to the extreme. Am I right? -- Thankful Kippy 
Share blessings Bountiful harvest 11:04, Apr. 4, 2010
Respect? -- Thankful Kippy Share blessings Bountiful harvest 11:14, Apr. 4, 2010
- Meanwhile, I have tightened up the ACORN story, which might be suitable for broadcasting. Spıke ¬ 11:31 4-Apr-10
Oh, I appreciate that. Thanks! -- Thankful Kippy Share blessings Bountiful harvest 12:50, Apr. 4, 2010
Again, thanks! -- Thankful Kippy Share blessings Bountiful harvest 13:59, Apr. 4, 2010
A couple of things[edit | edit source]
- Congratulations on winning both the UnNews monthly awards. Well done, and well deserved.
- Thanks for doing my scut work while I was "away".
Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:20, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
- Thank you for the recognition, which I hope means that you are now mostly back (please confirm). The scut work (or perhaps the passage of Obama-care) came at the expense of actually writing funny stuff.
- Issues during your absence are summarized at the end of UnNews:Newsroom. In addition, there was a protest over policy, at UnNews talk:Style. Mordillo resolved it and said he would discuss it with you when you got back. Spıke ¬ 16:01 6-Apr-10
- PS--I have three UnNews Audios and you are welcome to nominate me for another Manny. (I will stop nagging you when I've acquired three.) I kept Zana Dark's and Mordillo's entries on the Recent list for a full month, and warned them on their talk pages that they needed to do something for me lately; Mordillo said he'd try. Funnybony's progress at taking fewer and better shots, and basing his UnNews on the news rather than wacky notions that cross his mind, make him the leader for the April Foolitzer. Spıke ¬ 17:09 6-Apr-10
Yes, SPIKE, I am back, for the most part, and I will resume scut work. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:46, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
UnNews:IPad selling briskly, whatever it is[edit | edit source]
Hey Spike! I really laughed at your iPad news, specially the photo caption which says it all. I think it's good enough for a go at VFH. Is it ready for me to Nom? Cheers!--Funnybony 12:23, Apr 8
- Do what you like; I have enough props to last a year. But UnNews in VFH tends to be stale before they can complete a vote. Spıke ¬ 13:41 8-Apr-10
Only if you feel good and say, dude so! Last Nom I made I was blamed for. But if you think it would good, I'll do it cause I liked it. Cheers--Funnybony 21:10, Apr 8
- I have no problem with a nomination. I don't surf the popularity contests. Except Emmanuel Goldstein, where the Chief has ignored my request for a third straight nomination. I want all the Mannies until someone realizes no one else is doing audios and moves to retire the award. Spıke ¬ 21:16 8-Apr-10
Sure! I would like to Nom it. Do you have any more work to do on it? Is it ready? I'm ready. Cheers. FB
- I'm done. I'm making like Funnybony and am having a multiple-article day, having already moved on to the UnNews about RyanAir planning to install pay toilets on its aircraft. Spıke ¬ 22:29 8-Apr-10
COOL ONE! What an idea, pay toilets on airplanes. Yeah, some times I get instant ideas on different stories, which I would prefer to add up, but because they're dated I have no choice. In about 10 days I have to go long-haul 'have-son-will-travel' to visit my folks in USA and won't be able to make any stories for a couple days or so of travel and rehab. So better use em while you got them, before they go stale (unless their a "timeless" (fictional) news).
UnNews:Free Colombian ‘devil's nipple’ costs users[edit | edit source]
That story today about the "first fit cost-all others free" is based and written in first person, which I just copied, almost word for word. And that news was CNN. So I'm assuming that CNN know as much about news a you do? I know you don't like stories like that. But that IS a valid style, unless you have something to teach Ted Turner OR if UnNews is "limited"? Let me know what is your law? Cheers!--Funnybony 22:44, Apr 8
- No, I don't like that style; and I stand corrected from thinking that the style was your invention. In fact, it is a cute twist on actual news, which is exactly what I endorse. It just doesn't seem at all like it on reading. Both CNN and, ironically, its "opposite," Fox News, are obviously in the business of current-events entertainment, which only occasionally is news, with heartstring-tugging themes such as Panic In The Skies, stories with cutesy rock segues, and (in the case of Fox) the desperate need to start every story with a pun or a cliché. I dislike all of this worse than any alleged bias. None of this means they don't know their business. Spıke ¬ 01:02 9-Apr-10
Submitting a "column" to UnNews[edit | edit source]
...does this now have all the formatting stuff correct? -- Style 
Guide 12:19, April 10, 2010 (UTC)
- I took out excess vertical space at the start. Zim would add a bleep-load of links. Otherwise, it looks fine and is suitably labeled as opinion. Lacking a department for it at present, make your final edits and move it into UnNews as though it were a regular news article. Spıke ¬ 12:26 10-Apr-10
Yeah, I guess he would - but since this is a pro-bunny article I try to limit links to stuff that props it. Will try to find more of those. OK - so then I'll just add it to the list of today's news in UnNews section... anything else? -- Style Guide 12:34, April 10, 2010 (UTC)
- You talk as though it matters to Zim what the article is about or whether the links would do any good. It doesn't. Just sayin.' Spıke ¬ 12:43 10-Apr-10
Well... I was just sayin' too. OK. Do I need to do anything else than add it on today's news list? Write that bit, with link, to go on front page I think? Or do you or Zim do that? I don't remember where, I did it once but it was in 2008. -- Style Guide 12:55, April 10, 2010 (UTC)
- Just move it to the UnNews: space--{{Date}} does the rest. Then add it to the top of the list in {{RecentUnNews}}. Spıke ¬ 13:08 10-Apr-10
OK, thanks, done. I took off the Column template since the News-template is linked to the thingy... how to do it right? Do I add the UnNews category to the Column-template or what? -- Style Guide 13:18, April 10, 2010 (UTC)
- Been studying that. You need a {{UnNews Column}} and no {{News}} for proper labeling at the top of the article. {{Date}} attaches the date-based category and should suffice to make the article appear on the Front Page. If neither marks the article as Category:UnNews, you should probably edit {{UnNews Column}} so that it does so. Spıke ¬ 13:23 10-Apr-10
- Your article is on the news list, under 10 April. It is not featured at the moment. Its appearance on the Uncyclopedia home page was achieved by {{RecentUnNews}}. Yes, mimic the current coding for the next one you write. Spıke ¬ 21:55 10-Apr-10
- Would you please make a comparable change to {{UnNews Editorial}}, from which Multiliteralist created {{UnNews Column}}? Spıke ¬ 22:18 10-Apr-10
- Done. --~ 09:51, April 11, 2010 (UTC)
- Actually, I take that back. It seems that the UnNews Editorial template has a different usage and is being placed on top of the UnNews template - which means that you end up having template collision and the date being placed in two locations in the article. ~ 09:56, April 11, 2010 (UTC)
- Actually, I take that back. It seems that the UnNews Editorial template has a different usage and is being placed on top of the UnNews template - which means that you end up having template collision and the date being placed in two locations in the article. ~
- Done. --~
UnNews:Gremlins attack news institutions[edit | edit source]
I contributed an audio to this article of yours, not knowing you were distinguished in the field yourself. I hope you don't mind. Cheers.~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN [talk] 00:43, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
- Different! but sounds like you had fun doing it. No problem, as I had not planned to record this one anyway because of its semi-autobiographical nature. Spıke ¬ 03:36 16-Apr-10
Yeah, I was going for an Orson Welles type of voice, because it seemed War of the Worlds-ish.~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN [talk] 20:24, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
Zulch[edit | edit source]
You honor me by doing an audio of my ridiculous Ronald McDonald story. Zulch! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 12:34, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
UnNews:Beaches oiled for maintenance[edit | edit source]
I saw you updated it to fit the style of UnNews better, so I'm just here to say thanks for that. It was my first attempted UnNews piece, so I only had a slight idea of what I was doing.--Striker2117 00:10, May 3, 2010 (UTC)
- Oh! you're welcome! The bold/italics stuff is mentioned in the note From the Chief. Making it sound a little more like a news article is my idea. Apart from that, you know exactly what you're doing! The Chief may be by later to increase the number of links and Categories, as he tends to do. Spıke ¬ 00:20 3-May-10
- And for thanking me instead of bitching me out for meddling, you get an UnNews Audio and inclusion in the list in UnNews:UnNewsAudio--to which you should add your national flag, if you care. Spıke ¬ 01:16 3-May-10
Cool. That's awesome. Thanks again.-- 06:20, May 3, 2010 (UTC)
- It seems the Chief has renamed the article. The Style Guide asks for all lowercase except the start of the headline and where required by English grammar.
- And--for next time--on rereading this piece, I think your two best jokes (the ironic interpretation of the oil spill, and Obama's tendency to replace private efforts with government) are each told in two places. Spıke ¬ 15:46 3-May-10
Notice of Promotion[edit | edit source]
Congratulations! You've earned it. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:49, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
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Let it be known across the breadth of the internet that I do hereby promote Uncyclopedia user SPIKE, in accordance to the rules and articles of the Uncyclopedian Administration Handbook, to the rank of Rank of Huffer First class or Lieutenant . You are entitled to all the rights and privileges accorded to a Rank of Huffer First class or Lieutenant . Congratulations and welcome to the New World Order.
Signed Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:49, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
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- Thanks, Chief!
- The said Handbook contains a list of users and their ranks which, for completeness, has not been updated since you last promoted me.
- Spent last weekend doing my 3rd through 8th baseball games as PA announcer at the invitation of Daniel Webster College, an activity that is similar to UnNews Audio both in pleasure and pay scale. These games were out in a windy field, but two games last month were from the press box at Holman Stadium.
- Mordillo clarified the criteria for the Emmanuel Goldstein last month. However, if you don't mind me pulling even with you in total number, and unless you think someone new will come out of the woodwork, it's time for another nomination, please. Spıke ¬ 17:53 11-May-10
- Nomslut! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 20:05, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
- Nomslut!
NOM[edit | edit source]
Here's your well-deserved nom, Mr. Whiny Pants. Cheers, Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:16, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
A man of letters[edit | edit source]
Thanks for helping with the letters, I was amused. I hope you are amused by my answers, although they aren't as inscrutable as they could be... I'll have to work on that. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:49, May 25, 2010 (UTC)
UnNews:Dire financial predictions for the rest of 2010[edit | edit source]
Hi Spike! Great job on saving that list of quotes. I wasn't sure what to do with it. But you made it work. That was my hope. It really is so over-the-top that it seemed "funny" and I thought it might be useful. Otherwise I'll stick to what I know you like - real news with the twist. I was just in USA and seeing the inside of a supermarket made it hard to imagine "food riots" in the USA. But it's also hard to imagine what is now happening around me in the Big Mango. Civil War between the mafia and the elite. And the government and elite are right in this matter, rule of law must be followed. Now it is anarchy here, with hired goons running amok trying to overthrow the lawful government, all paid by a fugitive former PM who should be in jail - or, after making all this mess, he should be killed. The army are up against the the most provocative bastards and goons, who try everything to goad the police and army into acting, just so they can calm oppression. But it is actually the REDS who are attacking the army, not visa versa. If the army wanted to free-fire on the protesters there would be 1,000 people dead in an hour. But after 3 days of war only 35 dead, because of the great restraint of the army who are trying not to hurt anyone. But they are being attacked by Reds with war weapons and grenades. The army are fighting with one hand tied behind their backs. They have to follow rules, but the protesters break every rule. I hope the Army can complete this clean up soon. Its always the damn REDS since I was a kid! --- DUDE! Do you have anything I can vote for now? Stay well--Funnybony 17:00, May 17
- There won't be food riots here, though new rules from the permanent, bipartisan bureaucracy on tracing of farm animals and New England fisheries are starting to drive up prices. And Obama will be out of office and reminiscing with Jimmy Carter before the health-care riots begin.
- No third-world government is as benign, and no revolt is so unambiguous, as you describe the situation in Thailand. But I have no data with which to disagree with you. Regarding voting for me, you already have, this month. Spıke ¬ 18:36 17-May-10
Invitation to narrate[edit | edit source]
(Originally: Orders from the top.) Yeah, I got told by my more dominant personality that you should do at least three audios of mainspace articles so he can nominate you on ANOTM this next month (since UnNews don't qualify for this). MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 00:31, May 28, 2010 (UTC)
- More dominant????? Spıke ¬ 00:56 28-May-10
- I obviously know how to make an audio--but the said page doesn't describe or point to a description of what is expected. Is it left totally up to the narrator? Is there a convention for what to do with section heads? Spıke ¬ 01:19 28-May-10
Eh, if the header fits doesn't break the flow of the article, read it. If it does, don't read it. Also, pretty much everything is left up the narrator. Take my take of Colin's I will never forget. I decided it needed a hick accent and the last line needed to just be read with such anguish. You're definitely talented enough to read it. If you want, my Hollywood values could use a dry read. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 01:53, May 28, 2010 (UTC)
- All right. Also, I don't know how anyone knows you've done one. {{Listen}} doesn't seem to feed any category and there seems to be no home page on audio renditions. Spıke ¬ 02:04 28-May-10
From his talk page
The first result is Media:The Rescuers.mp3. Again, there needs to be a category, and use of {{Listen}} needs to enroll the page into that category, so there is some enumeration of what narrations exist. Spıke ¬ 13:40 3-Jun-10
- Yeah, the {{Listen}} should feed all articles into Category:Spoken articles and would, but the damn thing has a cascade block on it... I'll get that fixed. Also, great audio. I love it. 2 more and you're the ANOTM. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 14:48, June 3, 2010 (UTC)
"Locking" UnNews pages[edit | edit source]
On my query in UnNews:Newsroom: Why don't UnNews stories expire as Forums do?
If you really want to, simply add the following code on the page somewhere.
<div id="old-forum-warning"></div>
__noeditsection__
It's a minor hack, but it will stop most IP edits and minimise user edits, but is work-aroundable. This can also be included into an UnNews template if Zim and yourself are inclined, and I should be able to set it up to work 14 days after the timestamp on the article. Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 08:01, Jun 1 2010 UTC
UnNews:Baseball's integrity dies[edit | edit source]
Please give the IP and I a bit more time before you record it, probably a little or medium more to come, not much but a little more. Thanks. Al sans chains 1:00 4 6 mmx
Seems done. Think we should feature it, but that would need you and I to go out and whore it because the UnNews pages that go up for VFH lose because of out-of-date issues. And, oh, almost forgot, fuck Bud Selig. Al des chains 1:10 4 6 MMX
- I got enthused and recorded it before I saw your message. Divergence is to be expected when one person records someone else's story; if it's serious, it's not burdensome to re-record it, but I think the snapshot I used has merit in its own right. I don't care about featuring, especially because of the issue you mention. Spıke ¬ 01:22 4-Jun-10
- I reviewed the history; most recently, you added a technicality (perfect games do happen all the time in the minors) but it doesn't have to be stated in the audio version. The ambiguity is what you get for putting an article in Mainspace BEFORE YOU ARE DONE EDITING IT. Or failing to use the Preview button. Now, for correct attribution, is Anon you? or do you know who he is? Spıke ¬ 01:26 4-Jun-10
Great recording. No, the IP page went up, I saw it and saw it needed both editing, additions, a good photo, and proper formating to fit UnNews. Then either the IP or someone else put it on the page as was, and I copied and pasted the new edits and format. Left him notes on his talk page and he answered, both of us were surprised nothing had been written before he wandered into the site. Al des chains 1:29 4 6 MMX
- As I was, on the Israel brouhaha (rectified today). Tell him to register and I'll see that he gets credit in "Users whose material got recorded." Thanks for your compliment on the audio. Spıke ¬ 01:32 4-Jun-10
- Even though no one here has initiative, Anon should be impressed that three people promptly jumped on his initiative and whipped it into UnNews shape. Spıke ¬ 01:33 4-Jun-10
Ah, we both know that the Anon was a Detroit Tiger's player, or one of the old players. Is Al Kaline still alive? Him. Al des chains 1:37 4 6 MMX
- A Latino player (Galarraga himself?) who thinks his best recourse is at UnNews?! The story is up on the Sports Page. Spıke ¬ 01:43 4-Jun-10
Si. Sports page? Main page beckons, this is huge news in North America, second only to the oil spill and maybe that moron who killed the girl in Peru. Al 1:46 4 6 MMX
- The story is in the list on the Sports Page and on the Front Page. When Zim creates a graphic for the Front Page, I'll replicate it on the Sports Page.
Serious discussion of the blown umpiring call[edit | edit source]
- By the way, although I had fun with this story, I absolutely disagree with its thesis. Baseball's only standard for what happened is the instant judgement of the men in blue; they are known to make mistakes (for which the only recourse is the study baseball has done on using technology and slowly adopting instant replay), and a mistake by an umpire, and the Commissioner's unwillingness to reverse it out of pity, has no implications for the integrity of the game. The real test would be if the pitcher were a Cy Young winner rather than a rookie just recalled from the minors. There would then be serious pressure to reverse a ruling from Madison Avenue. The Official Scorer, a 30-year veteran, bless him, refused to score that hit an error to let Galarraga walk away with a no-hitter, as no misplay occurred (except that of Jim Joyce). That's integrity. Spıke ¬ 01:53 4-Jun-10
I agree, but Jim Joyce will live with this now and within his legacy. If Selig doesn't reverse he's scrambled Joyce's legacy and makes the pitcher a hero. But the real guy who missed his chance at greatness, legend type greatness, is the player who got the "hit" but knew he was out. If he had waved his hands, said no, no, and refused to take his base, he would be remembered for the next few decades as a symbol of principled action. Al des chains few minutes later
- Thank you for the Manny nomination. But the above is crap. Joyce is sweating bullets, and especially will tonight if he is not given the day off but takes his scheduled position behind home plate at Comerica. But he has been in MLB for decades and is well-respected. Galarraga just came up from the minors and is still aglow at being in The Show. He never expected to pitch a perfect game, will have hundreds more chances to do so, and he now has a great story to tell his grandchildren.
- The batter may overrun first base and, if he trotted back to the dugout, would have made the 27th out by abandoning the bases. But--apart from the ambiguity on the part of the players, who don't have instant replay on the field--he represented the tying run. He is in the stadium to win baseball games, not to secure an opponent's place in a history book. He damages his usefulness to his team, and thus his career and his earning power, if he pursues such affectations.
- Integrity consists of doing well the job one has chosen to do. If you keep doing that for long enough, fame, and the Hall of Fame, will follow. Your notion that players would put a notion of destiny above the faithful performance of their job is comparable to the Rock 'N Roll notion that a soldier would or should refuse to kill the enemy, thinking that he is the peacemaker who will change history. Spıke ¬ 02:39 4-Jun-10
- Ah, a good discussion. Joyce did fine in today's game, got applause, because he fessed up his mistake. So he comes out well. Galarraga's time in majors has nothing to do with this game, played one at a time. From the vids the player who got the 'hit' knew he was out immediately, knew that the bad call by the ump would cost a fellow player--non-teammate or not--his place in history, and maybe not taking the vids into account for that moment knew that the pitcher knew he was out too, and even looked at the pitcher in surprise and a touch of meekness (if I read it out right). And if he had called himself out, and left the field, his manager could have then and there sent in a pinchrunner, so nothing would be changed except the player making a principled stand. Oh well, Selig will likely reverse at some point soon, maybe after the ump association asks him to just to ease the incident's impact in Joyce's long-term reputation. Al des chains 3:12 4 6 MMX
UnNews Greatly Improved[edit | edit source]
Just to register my strong appreciation for both you and Zim (and anyone else) for really improving the UnNews page. Looks a lot more lively now and will help to encourage more contributions (hopefully)! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 22:16, June 7, 2010 (UTC)
- Nice of you to say so! Also Funnybony, who is on the page daily and more and more reading like news; a new Bullshit Bandito covering the Rio-Grande beat, Happytimes still contemplating improving the Category system, and several Repeat Offenders such as yourself. Spıke ¬ 04:08 8-Jun-10
- Yes, yesssss... our plot is unfolding nicely. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:44, June 11, 2010 (UTC)
- Yes, yesssss... our plot is unfolding nicely.
UnNews:Mexican president lays out agenda for US on VFH[edit | edit source]
I had to vote against your article on the VFH page as I didn't think it was strong enough. I don't normally vote for any UnNews as features because...well they are news after all. You do have a valid point about how long articles take to accumulate votes to get a nomination - by which time the news has indeed moved on. Not sure what to suggest but I hope Zim doesn't go back to Jesus for inspiration again! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 16:33, June 10, 2010 (UTC)
- Zim already did, of course--for which I needled him on his talk page. Spıke ¬ 17:19 10-Jun-10
- Fair warning: I've found a couple of new hilarious Jesus pics. I may be once again possessed by something like the devil to write another jesus article soon. Sorry. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:47, June 11, 2010 (UTC)
- Jesus is coming... Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 16:10, July 6, 2010 (UTC)
- Jesus is coming...
- Fair warning: I've found a couple of new hilarious Jesus pics. I may be once again possessed by something like the devil to write another jesus article soon. Sorry. Cheers!
Hah![edit | edit source]
Special Titillation, Prurience, and Double Entendre Issue... heh heh. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:51, June 16, 2010 (UTC)
- Do you think anyone will notice that the podcast thing is working? Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:44, June 18, 2010 (UTC)
Paying the whore his due[edit | edit source]
Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:47, June 18, 2010 (UTC)Main Page and UnNews Main Page[edit | edit source]
The items on the main page often relate to old stories long gone from UnNews or are put in there by other contributors trying to promote their own stories. I know there is a template link to add your own stories in there but I would prefer if the editors of UnNews could promote what they think is best in there instead. Just a thought. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 23:15, June 13, 2010 (UTC)
- This was discussed in detail in UnNews:Newsroom, where I'll eventually move this section. Zim manages {{RecentUnNews}}, though other writers have added their own articles to it, and he and Mr.N. concluded that not all articles should go there. I manage {{RecentUnNewsAudio}}, although reporting one's own work there is the only easy way for anyone to tell us they've done one. My policy is to list every audio I'm aware of, but it's over 90% me. I'm not aware of "old stories long gone" listed in either, but there is no way to keep users from editing the templates than active policing by their manager. Spıke ¬ 13:01 14-Jun-10
Thanks BTW for adding a source to the Earth economic basket case story. I was too busy(!) watching the World Cup here. Next on tonight - North Korea v Brazil....--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:14, June 15, 2010 (UTC)
- Next for u.s., "Slovenia." (Where's that? Didn't we acquire them?) Spıke ¬ 20:48 15-Jun-10
- USA. Population 300 million. Prison population 2.2 million (2006 figures). Slovenia population 2.0 million. So it would be like Free Americans V Prisoners match. --
RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 06:45, June 16, 2010 (UTC)
- HAH!!! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 20:17, June 18, 2010 (UTC)
- HAH!!!
- USA. Population 300 million. Prison population 2.2 million (2006 figures). Slovenia population 2.0 million. So it would be like Free Americans V Prisoners match. --
- That factoid, Romartus, will be the basis (among others) for a soccer UnNews story today. Spıke ¬ 13:36 19-Jun-10
UnNews:Suicide bombers threaten strike action[edit | edit source]
Don't bother. It's copied from here. I already added it to QVFD. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 11:21, 20 June 2010
I had nothing better to do, so I made you this[edit | edit source]
Congratulations!
 The FCC wants you to wear this. |
Periodically-awarded Award for Promulgation of the Cause Signed In recognition of your Herculean efforts, virtually supporting the entire UnNews audio department structure, and for having made vast improvements in overall effectiveness, public image, quality, and for promulgation of the Cause, and in thanks for your patient reading of this awkward, run-on sentence, I award you, SPIKE, this award, the first Periodically-awarded Award for Promulgation of the Cause, and a prize of one ball gag, government issued by the FCC, this. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:59, June 20, 2010 (UTC)
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UnNews:77 million 'poisoned' in Bangladesh[edit | edit source]
Dude! PLEASE narrate MORE of my stories. I just voted for you too. Cheers!--Funnybony 16:41, Jun 21
YAAAAAAAAAAA! What? Poison causes death!? Damn! Who would have thought?.. Dude, the more you do the better and more realistic it sounds, and that is steady progress which could also pay off somehow in the real world. Talent makes practice. Practice makes perfect. Cheers and much appreciated!--Funnybony 18:39, Jun 21
- As well as abridging a lot of long numbers, you'll notice I changed "directly related" to "coincident" in the spoken version--Merely occurring at the same time is what now drives UN-funded global science. Spıke ¬ 18:43 21-Jun-10
- PS--This story is sappy. Spıke ¬ 20:06 21-Jun-10
Narration[edit | edit source]
Just listened to Media:St. Clairsville, Ohio.mp3, I don't know how you keep from laughing while reading it. You made some very good additions and jokes, and I won't touch them with a 10-foot Clairesman. Nice work. Now I'll go vote to delete it, and we can be rid of the monstrosity. Or I'll just go to the Walmart instead. I agree with the UnNews point, and that's why I want to do an oil spill unnews soon. Again, nice work. Al 13:16 27 6 MMX
- Thank you! As I mention in User:SPIKE/UnNews#Audio, I don't keep from laughing. I back up, do it again, and digitally cut the laughing. In the latest UnNews Audio about the dead state rep, it was very hard to get through the part about his habit of swimming laps in a business suit. Spıke ¬ 13:23 27-Jun-10
June awards[edit | edit source]
Congratulations on your two wins! One for the thumb. Nice. Al 00:16 7 MMX
- And thanks for your votes and support, especially to the gang on VFD. It was nice to get back to help you resuscitate articles for a while; haven't done that in a long time. Spıke ¬ 03:47 1-Jul-10
I don't know where you stuff your awards, but this one should go up your ass....And here's one that you haven't won repeatedly....
But I will kill you if win EGA again. Seriously. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 13:40, July 1, 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks, Dex. In fact, they are already on display at User:SPIKE/UnNews. Spıke ¬ 13:47 1-Jul-10