UnNews:Carlsberg workers strike over limits on drinking

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

9 April 2010

A Carlsberg worker inspects the product, during one of the day's brief interludes between sucking it down.

COPENHAGEN, Denmark -- Eight hundred workers at the Carlsberg brewery here have gone on strike over a policy change that restricts their drinking to lunch hour.

Previously, they could drink all day long, and coolers were placed around the work sites. But company spokesman Jens Bekke said, "We had a hard-and-fast rule against actually getting drunk. It was up to everyone to be responsible."

And everyone always was, and that's obviously why the rule had to be changed, effective 1 April. Now, workers have to do all their drinking in the canteen during a short lunch hour. The union complains that the new policy is potentially dangerous, and that it is hard to enjoy Carlsberg draft when you have to chug it down.

Carlsberg's truck drivers joined the strike in sympathy. They can take three beers from the canteen, but do not have to drink them there. That's because they are too busy driving. But an interlock in their trucks ensures that they aren't drunk either, at least when they start up their vehicles, and the system works as perfectly as the old policy for workers did.

A bottle inspector, interviewed outside the plant, who couldn't remember his name, told this reporter, "Sherioushly, you're my besht fuckin' pal."

Sources

• Unattributed, "Lunch-only beer policy prompts Carlsberg strike" Associated Press, April 8, 2010