User talk:Tom mayfair

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Go bother some other Admin.

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Thank

s for your vote on Above Top Secret. And good to meet you (again? If I did it was long ago in a land far away). You are one of the nice legends around here, and as a legend you are required to act legendary and do acts of bravery and honor, saving damsels and smoting dragons and all that. Thanks again! Aleister 14:16 14-4-'12

No problem. A legend, eh? Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 14:23, April 14, 2012 (UTC)


I never liked you.

And also, you're ugly. Around here, that's saying something. Now, I'm not saying that the people around here are ugly. That would be wrong. What I'm saying is that they are also fat.
In short, what I am trying to say is that I'm a little bitter that the Easter bunnies you gave out weren't the solid kind. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that hollow Easter bunnies, with the candy eye that looks like candy but tastes like cardboard, show that you're a cheap bastard. That would be wrong. What I'm saying is that you're simply a bastard.
And also, you're cheap. And I didn't get one. Even though I delivered your baby. Well, I'm not saying that I delivered you your baby. That would be wrong. What I'm saying is that I delivered you a baby. And I don't know what it was full of, but it certainly wasn't chocolate. Apparently with babies, this is a perfectly normal characteristic. Which, no matter how much the baby giggled when it did it, is pretty gross.
Being a baby must be terrible. All I know is, when I was a baby the only thing that could distract me from the long, empty days of my being a baby was saying to myself, "It could be worse. I could be Tom mayfair." The other babies at the baby ranch agreed. And for Easter we got chocolate Easter bunnies. Solid chocolate Easter bunnies. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 06:49, April 20, 2012 (UTC)

I love you. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 07:42, April 20, 2012 (UTC)
I love you too. Now, let us dance! /me trips the light fantastic Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 17:02, April 20, 2012 (UTC)

About those things I said earlier...

I realized that the hollow Easter bunny wasn't full of air. It was filled with love. Like air, love is ephemeral, and the harder you try to hold on to it the faster it dissipates. Like love, air eventually turns sour, and takes half your stuff, the house and $1400 a month until the kids turn 18 (Damn you, Brenda!). Like air, love won't reduce the alimony even though you got laid off from your job in the dildo mines (I hate you so much, Brenda!). And love, like air, leaves you breathless and empty when it's gone, making you miss it all the more (I'm in counseling now! Just like you wanted, honey! Come back, Brenda!).
I'm sorry. Can you ever forgive me for my wild, chocolate-fueled rant? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 14:31, April 22, 2012 (UTC)

Wow, & I thought I had it bad. I don't have to pay alimony but I do pay $650/month in child support. I get to have 'em Wednesday to Friday mornin's every week. Can't wait for the school year to be over. It fucks with my time with 'em. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 15:24, April 22, 2012 (UTC)
Sorry to hear that. Have you considered not liking your family?
I should also point out that my children are quite large. And round. Both roly and poly. Imaginary child support goes by the pound. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 16:00, April 22, 2012 (UTC)
Nah, I love my sons. Don't fret. I got a new family goin' on. Knock up this wife so I can repeat what happened with the last marriage. It's the circle of life. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 16:10, April 22, 2012 (UTC)
You, sir, are a credit to your trailer park. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 19:43, April 22, 2012 (UTC)

Greetings Komrade

This assembly of the proletariat should be of interest to a Party member such as yourself. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.png Tue, Apr 24 '12 19:19 (UTC)

UnSignpost Apr 26th 2012

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 00:52, Apr 26

Mr. Mayfair

Could you please lock the forum Forum:Admin of the moment pretty please? Thanks. --ShabiDOO 13:53, May 1, 2012 (UTC)

Sorry, was doin' dishes. YAY Chief. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 14:30, May 1, 2012 (UTC)
Did you remember to wear rubber gloves? --ShabiDOO 14:44, May 1, 2012 (UTC)
Nope. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 15:02, May 1, 2012 (UTC)
Then your hands must be hot with the texture of a shriveled apple. --ShabiDOO 15:04, May 1, 2012 (UTC)
Aye, my calluses are peelin'. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 15:06, May 1, 2012 (UTC)
Dishes are for the proles. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Today the wife will be doin' 'em. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 14:26, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

UnSignpost May 25th, 2012

--Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 00:15 May 25 2012

Bring out your dead! It's the UnSignpost!

--ChiefjusticeGameCube 10:08, June 14, 2012 (UTC)

Assume the position! it's the UnSignpost!

--ChiefjusticeGameCube 00:49, June 21, 2012 (UTC)

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--ChiefjusticeGameCube 08:20, July 5, 2012 (UTC)

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--ChiefjusticeGameCube 16:58, July 19, 2012 (UTC)

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--OliOmniOmbudsman Dumbo.jpg 15:28, July 26, 2012 (UTC)

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--ChiefjusticeGameCube 07:13, August 10, 2012 (UTC)

ChiefjusticeDS enjoys buttsex: The UnSignpost!

~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 08:32, August 23, 2012 (UTC)

Set phasers to frag! It's the UnSignpost!

--ChiefjusticeGameCube 10:57, September 6, 2012 (UTC)

you

I saw you do something! ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 02:47, October 21, 2012 (UTC)

  • LIES! LIES I TELL YOU. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 11:20, October 21, 2012 (UTC)

Extra! Extra! News that's not new to you!

 ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.png Tue, Nov 20 '12 9:14 (UTC)

The UnSignpost! Cancel Your Subscription Today!

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Journalism so yellow it's orange: The UnSignpost

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Sloppy, falling-apart, and duct-taped-together: the UnSignpost!

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Watch your step! It's a steaming-hot pile of UnSignpost

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Drop your pants and grab the eggnog! It's the UnSignpost.

 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Wed, Jan 2 '13 13:29 (UTC)

UnSignpost sez, "Give Pease a Chance!"

 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Fri, Jan 11 '13 5:32 (UTC)

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~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 04:24, 19 January 2013

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~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 05:04, 24 January 2013

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~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 01:35, 7 February 2013

Welcome back

We missed you, man... --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 01:35, 12 February 2013 (UTC)



It is the day of USP love, Valentine’s Day

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 01:36, 14 February 2013 (UTC)

Crikey! It’s a rare, wild UnSignpost!

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 00:38, 21 February 2013 (UTC)

Surprise, Motherfucker, USP

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 03:54, 28 February 2013 (UTC)

I thought I heard the Imperial March. USP time, everybody!

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 20:37, 7 March 2013 (UTC)

Can I have some salad with my UnSignpost?

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 11:46, 14 March 2013 (UTC)

People like the UnSignpost because it’s hot! It has the best graphics and everything. Marcus, USP! Step yo’ game up!

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 02:29, 21 March 2013 (UTC)

UnSignpost’s BONER TIME!

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 21:55, 28 March 2013 (UTC)

This isn’t an April Fool’s Day Prank! This is the UnSignpost!

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 18:25, 4 April 2013 (UTC)

UnSignpost Time, Folks! I repeat, UnSignpost Time!

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 00:37, 11 April 2013 (UTC)

UnSignpost, late and lazy!

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 01:44, 19 April 2013 (UTC)

The 2 Days Tardy USP!

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 01:08, 27 April 2013 (UTC)

Week-old news two weeks late: The UnSignpost!

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UnSignpost is back

Enjoy! IFYMB! Talk to me baby! 10:28 7 July 2013

The UnSignpost: a brilliant new format but less news

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Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

Anton (talk) 14:13, 7 August 2013 (UTC)

Hi

Thx 4 bl0ckn User:ZOOMYBRON. Hes evl. k? --The Defender of Light >Grand Warlock Danzathel Aetherwing Inventory 20:18, 30 September 2013 (UTC)

UnSignpost: yet another new format but still less news

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Pleased to meet you, Comrade. (So you're real, after all.)

Just finished doing some major work on the Rain of Dead Cats, in which you play a starring role ... I kinda wondered about the Tom Mayfair meme; cool to find out the referent's real. Snarglefoop (talk) 13:23, 1 July 2014 (UTC)

Sorry for the delay. Thanks for including me in the game. I'm honoured. I've been quite busy with family care. Again, thank you> Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png

It's back! - The UnSignpost

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Two weeks in a row? A new record! It's the UnSignpost

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~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 23:50, 1 August 2014 (UTC)

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More {{Boner}}s than a ragged Playgirl: It's the UnSignpost!

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 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Fri, Aug 15 '14 20:04 (UTC)

We gave The UnSignpost an enema, so now it's regular!

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Fri, Aug 22 '14 2:09 (UTC)

OMG! A WILD USP IS ON THE LOOSE!

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SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 03:26, 7 September 2014 (UTC)

Unsignpost delivery attempt numbr hideous implosion

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Excuse me, sir, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, the USP?

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dicks lol: It's UnSignpost time!

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