User:David Gerard

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Foolitzer Prize Award Foolitzer Prize Winner January 2007

This site optimised for Safari on my Mac quad-Core IV with thirty-inch cinema display,
not your poxy virus-riddled PC. So don't even bother.
You Leengux-using communists in particular can just fuck off.

Too much Wikipedia explodes your head. But I got Writer Of The Month for January 2006, so my ego got large enough to pull Mars out of its orbit. I could try Unicyclopedia next or something.


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Commander of the Order
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Officer of the Order

Stuff what I wrote[edit | edit source]

Or started, or wrote a substantial chunk of. Front-page features are in bold; current nominees are in italics and you should vote for them IMMEDIATELY.

/Ideas are for anyone's use if I don't get there first. /Draft is what it says. /Rubbish is my subpage for life's little failures. /David Gerard is the un-article someone wrote on me. Goodness!

Articles[edit | edit source]

Don't you wish you were a bishop too?

UnNews[edit | edit source]

What about a nice cup of tea and a sit down?

I spent December 2006 in bed ill, so churned out UnNews like a man in fever delirium (which I was). This got me nominated for the Foolitzer, which meant I had to turn out an article a day for all of January 2007. NOW THE WHOLE WORLD IS LOOKING LIKE FAKE NEWS. BECAUSE IT IS.

I then spent about three years writing these things roughly one a day for my own fake news site, NewsTechnica — tell all your friends! I've stopped now because I keep just wanting to rerun old articles that are relevant again, because the "news cycle" is called that for a reason.

Pre-Dec 2006[edit | edit source]

Dec 2006[edit | edit source]

Jan 2007[edit | edit source]

Feb-Mar 2007[edit | edit source]

April-July 2007[edit | edit source]

August-December 2007[edit | edit source]

January-June 2008[edit | edit source]

July 2008 on[edit | edit source]

GIMP abuse[edit | edit source]

GIMP 0.0.1, running under xterm.

This is stuff I mangled together myself, not just things I appropriated as-is as fair use under US law for purposes of satirical or political commentary. Although most of the sources are covered under that.

Awards[edit | edit source]

Writer of the Month Award Writer of the Month January 2006
Newcookie.gif Somebody has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.
Go do Special:Newpages patrol. I do believe there's more crap there than on Wikipedia newpages.
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boarder[Outstanding Cracker of the Minute]boarder
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You have been cited in Uncyclopedian Bios.
Apparently you are "notable". Don't ask me why; I think you're lame.
Jsbach-bass.jpg
This user plays bass, because it attracts groupies without the need for excessive rehearsal time.
Jsbach-bass.jpg
Protein.GIF
I joined the Folding@home team, because I have nothing better to do with my computer.
Protein.GIF
United Kingdom
This user is a total UKer


and prefers to use pavements to sidewalks.


(British Uncyclopedians)
IAexplorer.png
AAAA AAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA.
(AAAA AA AAAAAA AAAAA AAAAA)
IAexplorer.png
NinjastarSe.cx.png
Ninjase.cx Ninjastar
I award you this Ninjase.cx Ninjastar for your total disregard
of good taste that is required to produce for your work.
You are my hero. –Dawg
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