User:David Gerard/David Gerard

David Gerard is a creepy bastard who hangs out on Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia, and your front doorstep. The spawn of Oliver Wilde's forty-ninth love child's sister's ex's brother's cousin and a goat, Gerard has a penchant for doing unspeakable things to bowls of custard, including:

• Manufacture (prohibited in the South of France)
• Eating (a disgusting and filthy habit practised by pagans
• Washing up (a sign of subservience to a mistress other than Sophia)

By day, Gerard is a bastard operator from hell who maims and kills for his daily bread, often accompanied by the dulcet tones of The Lion King soundtrack.

See also

• Category:Certified psychopaths, for others like this.