Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most fortissimo random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a bikini devours audaciously to sacrifice joyful cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 99 macabre houseplants lackadaisically freezing a stick up the document. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he feasts documents with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and continuously nonsensical history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the ineffective soundboard that he is, started creating a massive shitWikipedian of things. Then he added a frostily very, very big blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly ill-bred existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily virtual ages following its raucously charming conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those to a great degree random adverbs and adjectives doing in my nonchalantly rapturous sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately constructing existence. They would often have violently offensive rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a acceptably mammoth connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our demoralizing religions:

  • Gav, also known as zeiv and ojiwor, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • kisas, son of Gav[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gav would've been impolitely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on New Orleans Square to burn for the rest of eternity.
  • Gav, or ommof as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named jilojjob. He also told jilojjob about the 72 white encyclopediae he'd recently added to his paradise, though jilojjob used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Gav and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to etchings.[1]

Randomness and etchings

Randomness and etchings are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was suffocating some etchings, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with etchings as with, say, barbarous ovens. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously hairy that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mister Face panders indefinite block!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Gav himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gav.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.