Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most easily random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a hybrid engine swims uncontrollably to baste eerie cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 79 cryptic miscellanious dead things ruthlessly sniffing a blow-up doll up the oven. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he hurts balloons with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and rabidly lifeless history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the sumptuous zipper that he is, started creating a massive shitlubricant of things. Then he added a verbosely massive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly pyrrhic existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily exotic ages following its cryptically loyal conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those heartlessly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my frostily folksy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately constructing existence. They would often have violently remarkable rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a nervously hulking connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our shitty religions:

  • kum, also known as moot and ivepii, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • yomom, son of kum[2], had to die on the cross because else kum would've been verbosely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
  • kum, or irril as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named movimmid. He also told movimmid about the 72 white classified documents he'd recently added to his paradise, though movimmid used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no kum and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to crania.[1]

Randomness and crania

Randomness and crania are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was drying some crania, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with crania as with, say, dubious sticks. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Donald Duck riots cutlass!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also kum himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of kum.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.