Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a hub cap extrudes shyly to complement cryptic cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 11 spine-chilling glycerins easily throwing a classified document up the glycerin. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Contents
History
Randomness has had a long and poorly rhyming history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the coruscating flatulence that he is, started creating a massive shitoperating theater of things. Then he added a fervently humongous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly quick existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily supercalifragilisticexpialidocious ages following its apathetically laughable conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those eloquently random adverbs and adjectives doing in my raucously raging sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately pandering existence. They would often have violently morbid rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a frantically enormous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our common religions:
- Gut, also known as jeaf and etaver, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- zesos, son of Gut[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gut would've been starkly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to relax for the rest of eternity.
- Gut, or effep as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named jeyejjes. He also told jeyejjes about the 72 white bags of cement he'd recently added to his paradise, though jeyejjes used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gut and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and rifles
Randomness and rifles are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was vomiting some rifles, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with rifles as with, say, explosive sacrifices. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the amv in the ring. This article has become so vigorously contrived that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mario liberates flan!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] |
||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gut himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gut.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
