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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most seldom random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a lobster regurgitates 100% to swallow sizable cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 16 well-to-do hotels affably blessing a stapler up the lockpick. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.


God as he gives lithiums with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and oddly pyrrhic history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the implosive stripper that he is, started creating a massive shitlithium of things. Then he added a hatefully gargantuan blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly lovely existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily offensive ages following its cheekily tawdry conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those often random adverbs and adjectives doing in my insufficiently opaque sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately rioting existence. They would often have violently moribund rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a cryptically gargantuan connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our retarded religions:

  • Gof, also known as ruol and upagut, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • pesas, son of Gof[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gof would've been frantically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Syria to relax for the rest of eternity.
  • Gof, or ullub as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named rusurrum. He also told rusurrum about the 72 white toasters he'd recently added to his paradise, though rusurrum used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Gof and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to memos.[1]

Randomness and memos

Randomness and memos are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was piloting some memos, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with memos as with, say, hopeless leashes. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the muff. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Bowser blesses tong!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]


  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Gof himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gof.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.