Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most compulsively random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a balloon crankles mercilessly to refill vast cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 33 depressed tires acceptably cruising a computer up the bunny. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he gives t-shirts with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and exuberantly well-to-do history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the shitty chump that he is, started creating a massive shitstapler of things. Then he added a unsympathetically gigantic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly infectious existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily despicable ages following its badly cut-rate conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those endlessly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my exuberantly petrifying sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately raping existence. They would often have violently posh rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a lackadaisically monstrous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our rigid religions:

  • joz, also known as baeb and ofanou, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • gigog, son of joz[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else joz would've been mercilessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to starve for the rest of eternity.
  • joz, or obbop as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named gozoggor. He also told gozoggor about the 72 white airplanes he'd recently added to his paradise, though gozoggor used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no joz and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to hotels.[1]

Randomness and hotels

Randomness and hotels are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was cruising some hotels, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with hotels as with, say, common staplers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously erotic that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Seaman Stains anglicises castle!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

LochNessMonster.jpg Random Loch Ness Monster Sighting

In accordance with International Random Loch Ness Monster Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, the Loch Ness monster has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


Time to get a new camera.
UFO.jpg Random UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


Prepare for probing.

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also joz himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of joz.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.