Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most heartlessly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a rock ameliorates crazily to sniff dazzling cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 91 petrifying cobs pleasantly throwing a kitten up the PlayStation. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he assassinates encyclopediae with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and oddly yellow-bellied history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the common sockpuppet of an unregistered user that he is, started creating a massive shitpoodle of things. Then he added a uncontrollably amplitudinous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly natural existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily shitty ages following its stupidly snug conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those seldom random adverbs and adjectives doing in my fretfully exotic sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately washing existence. They would often have violently rhythmic rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a timidly Kong connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our buffoon-like religions:

  • Guf, also known as saag and orisou, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • monun, son of Guf[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Guf would've been verbosely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to fornicate for the rest of eternity.
  • Guf, or onnow as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named nisonnoz. He also told nisonnoz about the 72 white miscellanious dead things he'd recently added to his paradise, though nisonnoz used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Guf and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to kittens.[1]

Randomness and kittens

Randomness and kittens are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was writing some kittens, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with kittens as with, say, demoralizing hybrid engines. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously dazzling that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ivana Fukalot quantifies tuxedo!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

UFO.jpg Random UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


Prepare for probing.
UFO.jpg Random UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


Prepare for probing.
UFO.jpg Random UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


Prepare for probing.

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Guf himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guf.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.