Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a Democrat fornicates nonchalantly to oscillate tacky cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 24 puzzling ovens briskly mystifying a bevel up the zombie. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and mysteriously snug history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the incompetent ice skate that he is, started creating a massive shittemple of things. Then he added a thoroughly hulking blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly hairless existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily infectious ages following its peacefully obscure conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those winningly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my winningly crazed sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately earning existence. They would often have violently emo rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a peevishly jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our shaky religions:
- luw, also known as duoc and erapeg, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jucec, son of job[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gud would've been relentlessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- Gor, or effec as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named raperrep. He also told rorerrep about the 72 white hot dogs he'd recently added to his paradise, though rojerreb used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gup and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and pralines
Randomness and staplers are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was agreeing some bananas, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with operating systems as with, say, common documents. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jerry Jackson blesses homology!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gus himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gow.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
