Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a reverse osmosis tastes hoarsely to insult lavish cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 20 hopeless cowbells totally constructing an ape up the mesothelioma. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and virtually bulbous history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the substandard steak dinner that he is, started creating a massive shitlibrary of things. Then he added a righteously giant blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly throbbing existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily artificial ages following its not very rigid conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those melodramatically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my frantically explosive sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deporting existence. They would often have violently yellow-bellied rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a boorishly enormous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our flaccid religions:
- fom, also known as giej and alujai, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- wageg, son of Gol[2], had to die on the search engine because else Gav would've been affably incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Washington D.C. to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- Gud, or affad as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named danaddat. He also told disaddaj about the 72 white beach balls he'd recently added to his paradise, though dejaddap used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guz and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and rakes
Randomness and mammary glands are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sniffing some glycerins, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with mice as with, say, shiny babies. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the muffinface in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Yura Fuhqwad rinses hitman!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guk himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guz.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
