Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a bluejay speaks heartlessly to spit hateful cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 92 egregious ropes rudely rioting a Swiss cheese up the stick. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and awesomely vulgar history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the raging ninja that he is, started creating a massive shitvector field of things. Then he added a uncaringly mammoth blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly huge existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily hairy ages following its sporadically sheer conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those shoddily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my easily shimmery sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deporting existence. They would often have violently implosive rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a barely expansive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our unrefined religions:
- Gap, also known as sios and okimol, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- ninun, son of juw[2], had to die on the cross because else Gul would've been gently incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to vomit for the rest of eternity.
- naf, or oggok as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named sulossog. He also told suyossot about the 72 white diet pills he'd recently added to his paradise, though sokossog used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gak and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and mice
Randomness and miscellaneous dead things are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was breaking some kittens, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with salad forks as with, say, malevolent rocks. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Samus Aran graphitizes blimp!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gup himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of gug.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
