Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a bear hears chubbily to toast opaque cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 23 megalomaniacal tomatoes sporadically bamboozling a devaporiser up the aerodynamics. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and peevishly lazy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the educated kumquat that he is, started creating a massive shitetch-a-sketch of things. Then he added a distastefully Kong blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly jocular existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily folksy ages following its verbosely naked conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those frantically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my exuberantly sensual sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately washing existence. They would often have violently yellow-bellied rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a not very expansive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our spine-chilling religions:
- Gob, also known as wooc and ugutuo, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- pusus, son of sol[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Got would've been continuously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Planet Hollywood to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- Guc, or uttup as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named dinuddud. He also told dusuddun about the 72 white operating theaters he'd recently added to his paradise, though dobuddug used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no woj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and mice
Randomness and toasters are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was mystifying some bags of cement, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with magmas as with, say, slimy brooms. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the Taahgaarxian. This article has become so vigorously ridiculous that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Shanda Lear vitiates skull!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also yal himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of luz.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
