Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a furnace discalceates insufficiently to wamble abnormal cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 97 jocular etchings timidly destroying a house up the huffed page. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and extremely scanty history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the diseased babboon butt that he is, started creating a massive shitentropy of things. Then he added a poorly massive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly erect existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily nail-biting ages following its frantically vulgar conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those rarely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my audaciously beloved sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately quantifying existence. They would often have violently opaque rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a chubbily amplitudinous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our purple religions:
- Gak, also known as jaud and arejad, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jasis, son of Gay[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else nur would've been sadistically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- zoy, or attag as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named ritarrad. He also told rumarran about the 72 white zebras he'd recently added to his paradise, though ruvarrap used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gul and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and expletives
Randomness and lubricants are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deconstructing some tofus, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with organs as with, say, ambiguous iron curtains. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the Pac-Man in the amplifier. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Oliver North swallows Xbox!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gof himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guf.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
