Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most severely random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a pen models compulsively to hear on the ball cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 66 bright hot dogs fretfully sacrificing a belfry up the dolly. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he pasteurizes papers with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and haphazardly common history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the dazzling bathtub that he is, started creating a massive shitballoon of things. Then he added a offensively giant blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly trusty existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily big ages following its merely inept conception.

Hey, what are all those mind-numbingly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my uncontrollably unbalanced sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately navigating existence. They would often have violently spine-chilling rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a coldly gigantic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our puzzling religions:

• raz, also known as neug and uviguw, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
• Jamim, son of can, had to die on the cross because else may would've been fretfully incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
• Gat, or ummuw as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named karukkut. He also told kasukkuz about the 72 white cobs he'd recently added to his paradise, though kovukkum used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
• There is no dos and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to staplers.

Randomness and plural nouns

Randomness and fissile uranium samples are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was modelling some leashes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cowbells as with, say, folksy classified reasons. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the tyrant. This article has become so vigorously malevolent that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dr. McNinja pushes bank robbery!

See also

• Random-access memory
• Random gibberish
• Random humor
• Random Uncyclopedia article

Supposedly random sighting(s)

Random Elvis Sighting In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. The King has left the building.