Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most coldly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an engraving revolts cryptically to push smug cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 37 shiny brooms pleasantly insulting an electron up the buddy. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he cures pillows with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and narcissistically throbbing history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the obscure bat that he is, started creating a massive shitbridge of things. Then he added a unsympathetically very large blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly bare existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily naked ages following its distastefully well-to-do conception.

Hey, what are all those not very random adverbs and adjectives doing in my apathetically lithium sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately feasting existence. They would often have violently pale rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a brazenly gigantic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our bulbous religions:

• Gup, also known as vaof and ijaziy, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
• busis, son of kac, had to die on the Buick because else Gaf would've been sporadically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Bouvet Island to burn for the rest of eternity.
• lun, or issim as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named goviggid. He also told goriggik about the 72 white balloons he'd recently added to his paradise, though gariggiv used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
• There is no kaz and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to lawn mowers.

Randomness and mammary glands

Randomness and air conditioners are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was cruising some cartilages, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with rakes as with, say, erect drafts. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Amanda Huggenkis washes bum!

See also

• Random-access memory
• Random gibberish
• Random humor
• Random Uncyclopedia article

Supposedly random sighting(s)

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! Seriously, who'd expect a template like this to pop up randomly?

Random Loch Ness Monster Sighting In accordance with International Random Loch Ness Monster Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, the Loch Ness monster has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting. Time to get a new camera.

Oh my fucking God! An alien! Quick, <insert name here>, take a picture of it! Hurry, you fucking sloth! The camera is in your backpack you fat cunt-- Aww fuck, it crawled back into the Pyramid... Grrr! You've just wasted our only chance of ever proving that aliens exist on Earth, you frigging idiot!