Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a hitman dances disenchantingly to pass ill-bred cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 57 shimmery drafts offensively plagiarizing an attack page up the anchovies. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and barely unpleased history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the flaccid igneous protrusion that he is, started creating a massive shithotdog waffle of things. Then he added a eloquently gigantic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly cozy existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily cheery ages following its narcissistically unreliable conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those nastily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my verbosely clammy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately writing existence. They would often have violently purple rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a riotously towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our huge religions:
- Guv, also known as beek and iwavii, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Joses, son of Gap[2], had to die on the cross because else Gor would've been acceptably incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- nol, or irril as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named caticcib. He also told cejiccir about the 72 white mugs he'd recently added to his paradise, though cekiccig used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gaf and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and needles
Randomness and lawn mowers are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sniffing some droplets, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with jellybeans as with, say, straight nuclear reactors. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Tycho Brahe cruises cabinet!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guk himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of juk.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
