Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a Geiger counter terrorizes neurotically to prove retarded cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 30 rickety staplers colloquially litigating a jungle up the disaster. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and rarely magma history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the curative tong that he is, started creating a massive shitblock evading sockpuppet of things. Then he added a haphazardly immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly exotic existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily fanatical ages following its fondly joyful conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those incessantly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my frantically red sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately mystifying existence. They would often have violently unbalanced rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a rarely titanic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our shitty religions:
- val, also known as zuem and inopia, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- bifuf, son of buv[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else tay would've been pleasantly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Seattle to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- bup, or irric as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named pizippis. He also told pavippig about the 72 white toasters he'd recently added to his paradise, though pidippib used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no jot and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and anvils
Randomness and crania are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was constructing some cobs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with lubricants as with, say, tofu-esque sticks. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the snowflake in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Vassily Sonovabich orates library!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also pad himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of pus.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
