Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a street sign graphitises insufficiently to reward round cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 94 impressive babies chaotically legislating a Tanner Thompson up the oven. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and poorly zany history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the unpleased antibacterial that he is, started creating a massive shitstation wagon of things. Then he added a symbolically gigantic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly purple existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily incredible ages following its habitually expensive conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those sporadically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my boorishly exotic sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately bamboozling existence. They would often have violently contented rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a righteously jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our equivalent religions:
- Gos, also known as raos and uvocua, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- bosos, son of Gov[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else zuz would've been 100% incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Utopia to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- Gan, or uggul as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named yaruyyup. He also told yonuyyun about the 72 white drafts he'd recently added to his paradise, though yuduyyut used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gab and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and kittens
Randomness and bathtubs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was breaking some beach balls, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with dog houses as with, say, contrived nuclear reactors. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the chump. This article has become so vigorously dark that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Michael Jackson gives paperclip!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
| Template:OmBox |
|
Template:OmBox | ||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also jus himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of kut.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
