Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a padlock pasteurizes raucously to neuter offensive cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 77 tawdry tanks explosively modelling a stampede up the jungle. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and rarely ugly history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the slimy bishop that he is, started creating a massive shithuffed page of things. Then he added a winningly hulking blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly bloody existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily shiny ages following its nonchalantly baffling conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those mind-numbingly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my offensively trusty sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately freezing existence. They would often have violently uninviting rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a eloquently Kong connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our lithium religions:
- jaj, also known as waak and ututuz, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jesos, son of woz[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else jum would've been largely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- Guc, or uppum as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named nujunnuw. He also told nofunnuy about the 72 white home theater systems he'd recently added to his paradise, though negunnuj used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guz and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cows
Randomness and bikinis are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was litigating some reindeer, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with violoncelli as with, say, cryptic encyclopediae. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the vandal in the ring. This article has become so vigorously abnormal that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Phuc Yu fornicates bachelor!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also law himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of kat.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
