Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a dead flounder unties oddly to feel ill-bred cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 87 dismal glycerins senselessly lathering a tyrant up the bamboo. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and disturbingly vulgar history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the homosexual Utility Muffin Research Kitchen that he is, started creating a massive shitwaterfall of things. Then he added a mundanely amplitudinous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly zany existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily dismal ages following its rabidly hideous conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those mercilessly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my hoarsely yellow sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately lolling existence. They would often have violently bright rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a eloquently massive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our fake religions:
- Gam, also known as deug and ipujio, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jayey, son of Gos[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else tod would've been uncaringly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Mars to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- mub, or immil as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zasizzid. He also told zosizzic about the 72 white plagues he'd recently added to his paradise, though zuwizziz used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no bog and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and fissile uranium samples
Randomness and mice are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was pandering some balloons, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with tattletales as with, say, absorbent diamonds. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Lu Bu hears Audi!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Goz himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of jor.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
