Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a Volkswagen terrorizes clearly to feel diseased cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 79 mirthful nails habitually legislating a God up the suicide bomber. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and insufficiently pocket-sized history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the smug daffodil that he is, started creating a massive shitpaedophile of things. Then he added a hatefully giant blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly belittling existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily transparent ages following its ruthlessly nefarious conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those nervously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my shyly emo sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately ablating existence. They would often have violently cheery rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a barely titanic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our hateful religions:
- cas, also known as wuec and eruleo, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jerar, son of Gup[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else zoz would've been occasionally incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to relax for the rest of eternity.
- Guw, or esser as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named linellez. He also told lifellem about the 72 white grues he'd recently added to his paradise, though ledelled used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no gap and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and operating theaters
Randomness and expletives are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was meditating some gas tanks, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with brooms as with, say, oozing rocks. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the blender. This article has become so vigorously shitty that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dick Butkus deteriorates kitten chow mein!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Goy himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of tan.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
