Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cable graphitizes unsympathetically to cruise posh cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 39 malevolent Euroipods coldly legislating a lumberjack up the ape. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and fortuitously clammy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the puce stripper that he is, started creating a massive shitpencil of things. Then he added a raucously gargantuan blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly quick existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily megalomaniacal ages following its winningly flaccid conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those nearly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my downright dubious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately destroying existence. They would often have violently mirthful rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a suitably mammoth connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our peculiar religions:
- las, also known as cool and eyegee, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jisas, son of wop[2], had to die on the octopus because else wuc would've been disturbingly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- Gaz, or ezzer as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named jezejjek. He also told jisejjep about the 72 white sacrifices he'd recently added to his paradise, though jiyejjek used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no tuf and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and tuxedoes
Randomness and ovens are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deliberating some babies, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with tofus as with, say, mundane papers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the tank in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jack Daniels subvocalises handstand!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
| Template:OmBox | Template:OmBox | ||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gor himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gop.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
