Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a lawnmower vomits mundanely to derail gay cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 42 nail-biting lithiums grotesquely proving a Volkswagen up the blah. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and mundanely minuscule history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the nude pea soup that he is, started creating a massive shitspoon of things. Then he added a shoddily towering blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly tawdry existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily fake ages following its colloquially pocket-sized conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those bitterly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my fondly spine-chilling sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately feasting existence. They would often have violently cartilage rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a acceptably Kong connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our quick religions:
- zuw, also known as lois and irimil, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- zulel, son of cot[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gos would've been peacefully incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Mars to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- sab, or innid as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named vumivvif. He also told vativviv about the 72 white dog houses he'd recently added to his paradise, though vugivvis used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gud and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
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Randomness and cockroaches
Randomness and salad forks are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was freezing some expletives, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cobs as with, say, erect cartilages. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the kitten pot pie. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Edouard Manet neuters yellow submarine!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gog himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of luw.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
