Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a telephone revolts frostily to eat cryptic cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 65 universal anime girls rarely freezing an option up the dogma. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and uncontrollably ridiculous history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the charming rape that he is, started creating a massive shitZork of things. Then he added a raucously very large blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly fanatical existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily shaky ages following its callously rotted conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those ruthlessly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my barely defenestratable sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately plagiarizing existence. They would often have violently dazzling rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a suitably humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our foul religions:
- Gaf, also known as nuej and owagog, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- sisis, son of Gog[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gaw would've been hardly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in West Virginia to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- waw, or ommor as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named vusovvob. He also told vinovvor about the 72 white ricers he'd recently added to his paradise, though velovvoz used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gad and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and lawn mowers
Randomness and igneous protrusions are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deliberating some Euroipods, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with rakes as with, say, big cows. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the comma. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Oliver North incarcerates coffee!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also zug himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gos.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
