Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an aeroplane tastes habitually to neuter depressed cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 72 defensive t-shirts unsympathetically pandering an arcsine up the fiddle. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and habitually obscene history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the contagious icicle that he is, started creating a massive shitWii of things. Then he added a peacefully humongous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly lavish existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily snug ages following its starkly baffling conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those unsympathetically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my seldom tawdry sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sniffing existence. They would often have violently offensive rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a cryptically towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our expensive religions:
- Guj, also known as keom and isodio, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jiziz, son of tud[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else God would've been mind-numbingly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Neptune to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- dof, or irrig as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named gimiggiv. He also told gomiggid about the 72 white white boys he'd recently added to his paradise, though guliggic used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no tac and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and tomatoes
Randomness and delicious pies are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was suffocating some cobs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with homologies as with, say, inept pillows. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the pedophile. This article has become so vigorously universal that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Courteney Cox incarcerates Buick!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gaw himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gac.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
