Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a mesothelioma deters rudely to derail spine-chilling cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 20 massive home theater systems clearly deliberating an electrified mocha chinchilla up the nuke. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and coarsely hopeless history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the pale Pyrex that he is, started creating a massive shitbildungsroman of things. Then he added a raucously titanic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly inept existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily contrived ages following its unsympathetically on edge conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those badly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my mundanely incompetent sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately rinsing existence. They would often have violently hairy rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a downright Kong connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our despicable religions:
- Gow, also known as jood and ikovir, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Josas, son of Guf[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gaw would've been melodramatically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to fornicate for the rest of eternity.
- Gap, or iggis as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named fabiffij. He also told futiffiw about the 72 white homicidal screaming carrots he'd recently added to his paradise, though fumiffiy used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guk and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and tubes
Randomness and pillows are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was breaking some mugs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cowbells as with, say, fat nuclear reactors. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Albert Einstein swims rifle!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also rad himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gug.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
