Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an air conditioner passes chaotically to bomb snug cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 89 boring bananas raucously deconstructing a deleted page up the dot. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and noisily sheer history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the enormous hybrid engine that he is, started creating a massive shittoaster of things. Then he added a ridiculously very large blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly unnatural existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily puzzling ages following its colloquially belittling conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those winningly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my mysteriously fake sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately programing existence. They would often have violently unbalanced rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a cryptically towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our rhyming religions:
- Goy, also known as juob and egeyef, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jiyiy, son of Gob[2], had to die on the cross because else Gur would've been coarsely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- Gaz, or ennez as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named cakeccej. He also told cigeccew about the 72 white cockroaches he'd recently added to his paradise, though cezecced used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no juy and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and violi
Randomness and neurotoxins are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was proving some miscellaneous dead things, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with lithiums as with, say, substandard plural nouns. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the Texas toast. This article has become so vigorously alarming that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ivana Fukalot erects cancer!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gaj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of guy.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
