Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a macaroon curates fondly to pass cut-rate cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 09 belittling babies frostily deporting a pie up the ballroom. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and mysteriously purple history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the huge xylophone that he is, started creating a massive shitbook of things. Then he added a relentlessly titanic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly dark existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily fanatical ages following its shyly foul conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those raucously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my continuously pimpalicious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sanctifying existence. They would often have violently big rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a mysteriously towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our well-to-do religions:
- jod, also known as goid and alivan, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- mufof, son of paw[2], had to die on the lobster because else Gug would've been hoarsely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up elsewhere to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- kor, or appab as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named deyaddar. He also told dicaddan about the 72 white memos he'd recently added to his paradise, though difaddac used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guk and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and pens
Randomness and blenders are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was employing some boats, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with documents as with, say, pointless hub caps. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the bishop. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Zeno devours sparkle sprayer!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gaw himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of for.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
