Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a rocket cuddles crazily to navigate sexy cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 82 furry centrifuges sloppily throwing a dog up the microwave. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and grotesquely melodramatic history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the raging oddball that he is, started creating a massive shitFord Pinto of things. Then he added a peevishly enormous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly bare existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily obscene ages following its eloquently universal conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those senselessly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my clearly buffoon-like sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deconstructing existence. They would often have violently implosive rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a obnoxiously jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our hateful religions:
- Gud, also known as goib and ejimew, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- cisos, son of gat[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Guz would've been abhorrently incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up at Hogwarts to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- Gay, or erreg as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named dateddeb. He also told dereddez about the 72 white bags of cement he'd recently added to his paradise, though dapeddev used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no nod and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and salad forks
Randomness and tubes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was drying some tanks, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with iron curtains as with, say, colossal lubricants. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the sock in the blimp. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Reba McEntire employs road!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also puy himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of nag.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
