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Twitter-logo.png Twitter (official)

@twitter
Twitter is an internet product, with a large fan-base of "twits", who disperse information in very small text packets, known as tweets. It may be the saddest thing since bereavement, but there are literally thousands of people keeping their friends up to date with their every bowel movement. The users tell their "friends" everything.
Example: I walked on the beach.
The truth: Your friend doesn't NEED to know this.
Reason: Your friend doesn't care.

On the Innernetshttp://twitter.com

 
1,100 tweets
100 following
110 followers
Tweet to Twitter (official)
@twitter
Tweets
Twitter-logo.png 16 Mar 2024Twitter (official) @twitter

Something went wrong. Try reloading. ↪️

Twitter-logo.png 15 Mar 2024Twitter (official) @twitter

Something went wrong. Try reloading. ↪️

Twitter-logo.png 14 Mar 2024Twitter (official) @twitter

Something went wrong. Try reloading. ↪️

Twitter-logo.png 12 Mar 2024Twitter (official) @twitter

There is no God but Muhammad and Allah is his prophet

Twitter-logo.png 9 Mar 2024Twitter (official) @twitter

Happy old year

Twitter-logo.png 4 Mar 2024Twitter (official) @twitter

We found a copy of Super Mario and destroyed it.

Twitter-logo.png 29 Feb 2024Twitter (official) @twitter

We are ded

Twitter-logo.png 15 Nov 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

Trying to find next version of #blogging. twitpic.com/gfdfg45g

Blogging.jpg
Twitter-logo.png 16 Nov 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

Tried making way to send individual people personalized blogs-- turns out it's called #email and nobody uses it anymore

Twitter-logo.png 17 Nov 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

Asked #forum for ideas... going to try blogs put on physical media.

Twitter-logo.png 18 Nov 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

Physical media already done called #mail like e-mail, but no e. Anyone have ideas?

Twitter-logo.png 19 Nov 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

Have to poop.

Twitter-logo.png 20 Nov 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

pooped.

Graduate peeping tom.png 20 Nov 2023Tom Peepers @5741k3r

It's like a dream come true!
Twitter retweet icon.jpg Retweeted by Twitter (Official)

Twitter-logo.png 21 Nov 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

Can't think of ideas. @Hernando keeps bugging me about the oven.twitpic.com/ae74gr5do

Head-in-oven.jpg
Twitter-logo.png 22 Nov 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

@StMarysPsychWard: @Hernando is so real, stop saying he's not, it makes him angry

Twitter-logo.png 23 Nov 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

Idea: worst thing about blogs is they come in big chunks. What if I want smooth #creamy blogging?

Twitter-logo.png 25 Nov 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

The #tentacles are starting to bother @Hernando and I.

Twitter-logo.png 26 Nov 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

Attempt one at creamy blogging failed. Warning: do not #butter your Ethernet port.

Twitter-logo.png 27 Nov 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

The @Oracle is visiting!

Twitter-logo.png 27 Nov 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

The @Oracle says I should break the blog into pieces to make it creamy. She also says we are all damned to the halls of a thousand eyes.

Twitter-logo.png 28 Nov 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

Never blinking always staring.

Twitter-logo.png 30 Nov 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

I need: more #goldfish flavored crackers

Twitter-logo.png 30 Nov 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

#Monitor broken trying to break up blog. crackercrackercrackercracker *zot* twitpic.com/ae8f0jo

Smashed-computer.jpg
Twitter-logo.png 1 Dec 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

The relations between blogs and #SineWaves are FishCracker-sponential.

Twitter-logo.png 1 Dec 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

12 cups whiskey cream. Poured down #tentacles to satisfy @clamaxtyll.

Twitter-logo.png 4 Dec 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

Leagues closer to the key of eyes. Involves breaking blogs down BUT making them come faster. Like #bullets.

Twitter-logo.png 4 Dec 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

All hail @clamaxtyll! Thou who shan't submit to his feathery wrath shall be ended.

Twitter-logo.png 5 Dec 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

I broke the #code. I made blogs small, and you update them like every hour. twitpic.com/ae74576o

Matrix-cube.jpg
Twitter-logo.png 6 Dec 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

The advantage with this new communications format is that it's not subject to #viruses, or #trojans.

Twitter-logo.png 7 Dec 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

rofl…omg i am laughing so hard at this picture of you my friend posted tinyurl.com/AsP15xY

Twitter-logo.png 7 Dec 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

I cant believe this but there are some real nasty things being said about you here tinyurl.com/AsP15x8

Twitter-logo.png 7 Dec 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

That's odd. I don't recall doing those last few messages. Maybe @Hernando is playing tricks on me again.

Twitter-logo.png 9 Dec 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

I just #twoted all over Twitter! Now i gotta clean the mess up.

Twitter-logo.png 9 Dec 2023Twitter (official) @twitter

Up-to-the minute status reports of my ascent as the chosen one of @clamaxtyll shall follow. twitpic.com/ae74f44do

StraightJacket.jpg
Eye looking thru hole.jpg 19:56See also @morelinks

#twitbook #Facebook #myface #socialernetwork #defacebook #space @dsoprano @valleygurl @DJones @GeorgeP @McElroy @Examtime @Arkboi @Odysseus @OBLaden #X
Twitter retweet icon.jpg Retweeted by Twitter (Official)

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