Website

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Actual photograph of a typical website

A location upon where a spider spins a web, a Website is commonly used as material for bookcovers and artificial banana skins.

Their main purpose is as a repository for pornographic images, which otherwise would fill hard drives and restrict PCs to Windows 95 levels. Microsoft, in their constant struggle to improve the smooth running of computers and operating systems took drastic steps as the Millenium Bug (see Godzilla vs the Millenium Bug) threatened to take over the world.

Another popular use for Websites now are as writing material. Nubile Teens often enjoy acquiring pet spiders and creating their own website. Watching these creatures spin these websites into what is sometimes termed the "world wide web" can be a fun and enjoyable experience for the whole family.

A fine example of a website is http://www.makeliamfamous.tk which is an uterly pointless website but has good mathematical problems (err... not really) and excellent spelling of words such as the following: In, The, Me, You, Famous, We, Not, Here.

See Blogging.

A noob website

Internet Explorer 8.png

Welcome to my site,

I can do HTML n evereefin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im cool n' stuff coz I can do blank pages like this and stuff

Recent News

}}

On this day...

...I'm Humbert Humbert, so European, all over your kids, I keep on peeing / My prose so haute, though you might forget, I'm a dirty old rapist and a piece of shit / I wandered all over, till I shot Hugh Hefner, and my girlfriend's dead 'cus I'm a sex offender / The State of Florida has asked us to disclose our sexual crimes to you...

June 13: Double Entendre Day ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)

Featured picture

{{Votevfp.dpl|image=Noob offensive.jpg

|name=Noob-Friendly Almanack |size=240px |caption=Chronicling every edit from every date between 20 April 2005 and 20 April 2006, the Newbie Friendly Uncyclopedia Almanack is the Uncyclopedia Noob's ultimate sourcepoint, written in such simple language that even the n00best of n00bs can comprehend such subjects as the Bermuda Triangle with ease. |credit=Hindleyite |nom= |fornumber=19 |for=

  1. Self-nom and for. Time to face the firing squad... please don't be too brutal! --Hindleyite Poet Lowrate Talk 12:58, 7 May 2006 (UTC)
  2. Against. Bad photoshop. Some of the text looks like it's literally not attached to the book. Also, why yellow?--Anon32 13:49, 7 May 2006 (UTC)For, now that it looks quite a bit better.--Anon32 20:45, 9 May 2006 (UTC)
    It's supposed to be a dust cover. Also it's a parody of the Wisden Almanack, which is yellow. Tell me which bits look bad so I can fix 'em. --Hindleyite Poet Lowrate Talk 16:08, 7 May 2006 (UTC)
    The words "edited by anonymous IPs" are fuzzy, and the oval thing on the side doesn't match the slant of the book.--Anon32 20:17, 7 May 2006 (UTC)
    Oh yeah, I just noticed that the book seems thicker at the top than the bottom.--Anon32 20:19, 7 May 2006 (UTC)
  3. For. --User:Nintendorulez 17:16, 7 May 2006 (UTC)
  4. For. I think the text on the spine of the book (left side of the image) needs to be curved to match the book. I don't see a problem with the book being thicker at the top, that's just perspective. The oval thing is fine, it's just the text on the oval which is a bit odd. Bloopy icon.png Bloopy 01:29, 8 May 2006 (UTC)
  5. For --Spin 01:54, 8 May 2006 (UTC)
  6. For It has that strange beauty that only Wisden can provide ----Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 07:16, 8 May 2006 (UTC)
  7. For goes down well with me. --The Rt. Hon. BarryC Icons-flag-gb.png MUN (Symposium!) Sigh. Double Sigh. 08:15, 9 May 2006 (UTC)
  8. For cause I like tuna. --Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 02:27, 10 May 2006 (UTC)
  9. Against. Another one that just doesn't strike me as FUNNY. Well done, though.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 03:25, 10 May 2006 (UTC) Heh heh, ok. I'll bite. For.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 14:04, 12 May 2006 (UTC)
  10. Weak for. It's a very good picture but I'm not sure exactly how funny it is :/. - jack mort | cunt | talkKodamaIcon.jpg - - 15:47, 10 May 2006 (UTC)
    Anybody got any suggestions for any humorous edits etc. I can add to make it funnier? --Hindleyite Poet Lowrate Talk 15:49, 10 May 2006 (UTC)
    CommentI dunno... maybe if it boasted including things like, "tips and tricks to keep Famine and Splarka from banning you!" or "Tips of how to get your image from being murdered by voters at VFP", "list of inside jokes sure to get your article featured", "Users you should get to know", "Case studies of users that have been ostracized", or "Sunset/Sunrise times in UTC" could all be funny, potentially, off the top of my head.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 00:21, 11 May 2006 (UTC)
  11. For no comment --HPSig.PNGHP talk 18:54, 11 May 2006 (UTC)
  12. For! - Sikon 14:03, 12 May 2006 (UTC)
  13. For I think it's funny, so if you don't like it, die, die and go to hell! Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 22:53, 12 May 2006 (UTC)
  14. For Five, Six, Seven . . . --Hrodulf 08:28, 23 May 2006 (UTC)
  15. codestream
  16. Zork Implementor L
  17. toratoritore
  18. Feureau
  19. Insineratehymn

|againstnumber=9 |against=

  1. Against Piratehattie.gifCap'n SimzorzAr, Matey! 03:01, 8 May 2006 (UTC)
  2. Against. Really. Really. Really no reason to vote against but none to vote for it either. ~ Ghelæ talkcontribs 16:10, 8 May 2006 (UTC)
  3. Weak against.--Rataube 11:28, 9 May 2006 (UTC)
  4. its 'AAAAAAAAA!' there are nine As then an exclamation mark. Against; plus this image is crap IMO. --Anidn. Me? NO! MUN FC4 .az VforIRCop(HOLLA ATCHA BOY!) 03:16, 11 May 2006 (UTC)
  5. whywhywhy
  6. Rcmurphy
  7. MoneySign
  8. DaMenace
  9. §ǚρωξλ£μĦΦφ≈€ƏξßÐÆØΞ

|comments=Featuredrc (t) 03:51, 13 May 2006 (UTC)

  • Weak Forgainst --Splaka 04:55, 8 May 2006 (UTC)
    • Comment >:| —rc (t) 15:33, 8 May 2006 (UTC)
      • Reply: Is that better? --Splaka 04:37, 11 May 2006 (UTC)

|%PAGE%=Uncyclopedia:VFP/Noob offensive.jpg|%TITLE%=VFP/Noob offensive.jpg|%DATE%=|%USER%=|%ARGS%=§image=Noob offensive.jpg §name=Noob-Friendly Almanack §size=240px §caption=Chronicling every edit from every date between 20 April 2005 and 20 April 2006, the Newbie Friendly Uncyclopedia Almanack 2006§Newbie Friendly Uncyclopedia Almanack is the Uncyclopedia Noob's ultimate sourcepoint, written in such simple language that even the n00best of n00bs can comprehend such subjects as the I Fucking Hate the Bermuda Triangle§Bermuda Triangle with ease. §credit=Hindleyite §nom= §fornumber=19 §for=

  1. Self-nom and for. Time to face the firing squad... please don't be too brutal! --User:Hindleyite§Hindleyite File:Lowrate.png§22px§Poet Lowrate User talk:Hindleyite§Talk 12:58, 7 May 2006 (UTC)
  2. Against. Bad photoshop. Some of the text looks like it's literally not attached to the book. Also, why yellow?--User:Anon32§Anon32 13:49, 7 May 2006 (UTC)For, now that it looks quite a bit better.--User:Anon32§Anon32 20:45, 9 May 2006 (UTC)
    It's supposed to be a dust cover. Also it's a parody of the Wikipedia:Wisden Cricketers' Almanack§Wisden Almanack, which is yellow. Tell me which bits look bad so I can fix 'em. --User:Hindleyite§Hindleyite File:Lowrate.png§22px§Poet Lowrate User talk:Hindleyite§Talk 16:08, 7 May 2006 (UTC)
    The words "edited by anonymous IPs" are fuzzy, and the oval thing on the side doesn't match the slant of the book.--User:Anon32§Anon32 20:17, 7 May 2006 (UTC)
    Oh yeah, I just noticed that the book seems thicker at the top than the bottom.--User:Anon32§Anon32 20:19, 7 May 2006 (UTC)
  3. For. --{User:Nintendorulez/sig2} 17:16, 7 May 2006 (UTC)
  4. For. I think the text on the spine of the book (left side of the image) needs to be curved to match the book. I don't see a problem with the book being thicker at the top, that's just perspective. The oval thing is fine, it's just the text on the oval which is a bit odd. {User:Bloopy/Signature} 01:29, 8 May 2006 (UTC)
  5. For --User:Spintherism§Spin 01:54, 8 May 2006 (UTC)
  6. For It has that strange beauty that only Wisden can provide ----User:Hardwick_Fundlebuggy§Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (user talk:Hardwick_Fundlebuggy§Bleat) 07:16, 8 May 2006 (UTC)
  7. For goes down well with me. --{User:02barryc/Signature} 08:15, 9 May 2006 (UTC)
  8. For cause I like tuna. --{User:Zombiebaron/sig} 02:27, 10 May 2006 (UTC)
  9. Against. Another one that just doesn't strike me as FUNNY. Well done, though.--{User:Bradaphraser/sig} 03:25, 10 May 2006 (UTC) Heh heh, ok. I'll bite. For.--{User:Bradaphraser/sig} 14:04, 12 May 2006 (UTC)
  10. Weak for. It's a very good picture but I'm not sure exactly how funny it is :/. {user:jack_mort/sig} - 15:47, 10 May 2006 (UTC)
    Anybody got any suggestions for any humorous edits etc. I can add to make it funnier? --User:Hindleyite§Hindleyite File:Lowrate.png§22px§Poet Lowrate User talk:Hindleyite§Talk 15:49, 10 May 2006 (UTC)
    CommentI dunno... maybe if it boasted including things like, "tips and tricks to keep Famine and Splarka from banning you!" or "Tips of how to get your image from being murdered by voters at VFP", "list of inside jokes sure to get your article featured", "Users you should get to know", "Case studies of users that have been ostracized", or "Sunset/Sunrise times in UTC" could all be funny, potentially, off the top of my head.--{User:Bradaphraser/sig} 00:21, 11 May 2006 (UTC)
  11. For no comment --HPSig.PNGUser:Hawthorn Peebles§HP User_talk:Hawthorn Peebles§talk 18:54, 11 May 2006 (UTC)
  12. For! - {User:Guest/sig} 14:03, 12 May 2006 (UTC)
  13. For I think it's funny, so if you don't like it, die, die and go to hell! {User:Zim_ulator/sig} 22:53, 12 May 2006 (UTC)
  14. For Five, Six, Seven . . . --User:Hrodulf§Hrodulf 08:28, 23 May 2006 (UTC)
  15. {u§codestream}
  16. {u§Zork Implementor L}
  17. {u§toratoritore}
  18. {u§Feureau}
  19. {U§Insineratehymn}

§againstnumber=9 §against=

  1. Against {User:SimulacrumCaputosis/sig3} 03:01, 8 May 2006 (UTC)
  2. Against. Really. Really. Really no reason to vote against but none to vote for it either. {:User:Ghelae/sig} 16:10, 8 May 2006 (UTC)
    • Comment so why did you vote? --{User:02barryc/Signature} 08:15, 9 May 2006 (UTC)
      • Because there was no reson to vote for, therefore it can't be all to good. You see? {:User:Ghelae/sig} 16:13, 9 May 2006 (UTC)
  3. Weak against.--User:Rataube§Rataube 11:28, 9 May 2006 (UTC)
  4. its 'AAAAAAAAA!' there are nine As then an exclamation mark. Against; plus this image is crap IMO. --[[User:Anidnmeno§Anidn. Me? NO!]] Order_of_Uncyclopedia#Member_.28MUN.29§MUN Template:LinuxUser§FC4 Template:MacUser§⌘ Template:AzeriUser§.az User:Anidnmeno/IRC:VFO§VforIRCop(User talk:Anidnmeno§HOLLA ATCHA BOY!) 03:16, 11 May 2006 (UTC)
  5. {u§whywhywhy}
  6. {u§Rcmurphy}
  7. {u§MoneySign}
  8. {u§DaMenace}
  9. {u§§ǚρωξλ£μĦΦφ≈€ƏξßÐÆØΞ}

§comments=Featured {user:Rcmurphy/sig} 03:51, 13 May 2006 (UTC)

  • Weak Forgainst --{User:Splaka/sig} 04:55, 8 May 2006 (UTC)
    • Comment >:{!} {user:Rcmurphy/sig} 15:33, 8 May 2006 (UTC)
      • Reply: Is that better? --{User:Splaka/sig} 04:37, 11 May 2006 (UTC)

}}


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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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Guide to Creating a Successful Website

see main article: HowTo:Create a Website

There are a set number of steps necessary in creating a successful website. Start by analysing the average from the content of the most successful websites, and then through subtle manipulation copy and paste, know to Webmasters as the "Copy and Paste Technique".

Standard subject matter should include:

It is important to try to add lots of large images, as well as javascript, enabling "snowfall" or "magic" mouse trails. Embedded MIDI files are a must.

WARNING!: Try not to make it as weird and pointless as the site Workingbrains, good god that place is pointless.

For addition help please view HowTo:Create a Website

List of websites

 

Website is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.