User talk:Orian57/archive9

So Tempting

Must... resist... base... instincts...

Can't.

Oh dear, all over your pristine talk page. The shame is mine. --UU - natter 10:49, Nov 19

EDIT CONFLICT. Damn. ~ 10:49, 19 November 2008 (UTC)

Heh. --UU - natter 10:50, Nov 19

Oh! I feel so popular! All these handsome men competing for my attention... I'm all a flutter! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 10:53 19 November 2008

Who's talk page is this anyway? I thought this was just a place to post pictures of my underwear? Actually, that my not be such a good idea. MrN 11:15, Nov 19

Sounds good to me! But not really. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 11:16 19 November 2008

Wait, this is a talk page? —talk 13:19, 19 November 2008 (UTC)

It can be whatever you want it to be... SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 14:29 19 November 2008

Hmm... /me ponders for a moment A brothel! Can it be that? Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (00:34 11-20-2008)

With these dirty whores it could be the most disgusting brothel this side of Sarah Palin's next door neighbour's house. —talk 10:24, 20 November 2008 (UTC)

Speaking of which... *Shoots Sarah with a rifle* NOW YOU KNOW HOW THE MOOSES FEEL, YOU BUTCH BITCH! Now, was there something about a brothel I said? Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (02:25 11-22-2008)

Where did this come from? I ended this conversation and yet it persists. and I guess my talk page could be a brothel... I'll redecorate. Maybe. If I can be bothered. Also Down with Palin! Up with Obama! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 10:12 22 November 2008

Arty cull

I really liked your idea about the person who can't sleep, there's so much potential in that idea, I think we should do that. I'm thinking hallucinations, I'm thinking dreadful puns, I'm thinking lots of fourth-wall breaking, I'm thinking a shower scene... wait, that last one's just what's going on in my head at the moment ;P —talk 13:19, 19 November 2008 (UTC)

*cough* SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 14:27 19 November 2008

Damn! Well, um, that thing about parents bullying their son into having a boyfriend looked like a great idea too... or is that one too? —talk 09:27, 20 November 2008 (UTC)

Well... it was sort of playing on this... Peopole might not apreciate the lazyness. Though maybe... This is my ideas page. Oh I did have a brilliant idea: Writing about a woman who thinks she's a WaG cos she's married to a guy who playes on his local pub team. or something like that. It struck me as funny, she'll be like one of those horrible ditzy blondes spending thousands cos she's married to a foot baller. What do you think? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 10:24 20 November 2008

Haha yeah. I like that. I love the whole idea of someone being incredibly oblivious in the face of overwhelmingly obvious evidence, to their own detriment. What would it be called? —talk 10:28, 20 November 2008 (UTC)

I'm a WaG! or we could just re-write teh wag page. would probably get a better laugh if people go these expecting victori becam type stuff and then getting whatever we call teh charactor. Eloise popped into my head there. Something that sounds pretentios like. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 10:31 20 November 2008

Well the Wag page is actually already pretty cool and funny so I don't think we should. Yeah, I think "I'm a WAG!" would be a good name for it. It'd be better than something like "A day in the life of..." or whatever. Could you get it started? I gotta get going now, I'll be back on soon =) —talk 10:49, 20 November 2008 (UTC)

How about an UnBook? UnBooks:My Life as a WaG, for instance? --UU - natter 11:00, Nov 20

Yeah! That'll work too! thanks, U2! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 11:27 20 November 2008

All hail to the Orian57-Patrol

Thanks for tidying up my userpage...although I'm baffled as to why anyone would try vandalising invisibly!--Guybles _CUN 23:11, 19 November 2008 (UTC)

It was an apology of sorts, it just should have been on you're talk page. But I think Invisible vandalism is something that could catch on... Anyways it was no trouble. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 07:37 20 November 2008

Doing something I should have done a long time ago!

Orian57 has won the cowbell award for "obvious reasons", and was awarded by Meth Although it has nothing to do with anything, at least you're thanked anyway.

I should have done this quite some time ago. Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (01:44 11-20-2008)

Yay! Although I am dissapointed, the title sounded all sinister and "rapey"... SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 07:38 20 November 2008

And now, the REAL thing I should have done a long time ago...

RAPE!!! Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (00:09 11-21-2008)

PS: Just for some reason, I nommed you here. Be sure to vote for yourself! Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (16:05 11-22-2008)

Daddy forgives you

Adopting me is a smart thing to do because your mother won't let me back in to the bedroom...

Er... I never signed up for nappy changing... :S also Sling this on your user page:

{{Adoptee|Orian57}}

And that's the paper work side of things. Then bassically just come and ask me when you need help, or if you get in trouple defer them to me. Things like that. It's lazy parenting at it's best. Good to see you're enthusiamn though. we need a few more newbies around. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 10:34 20 November 2008

UnSignpost: 20th November2008

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November 20^th, 2008 • #100/4 • Sucking Journalism's Fat Wang. Badly.

UnSignpost Stumbles past 6 month milestone Uncyclopedia's premier periodical, the UnSignpost, has somehow managed not to fade away and die for over 6 months, which should probably merit some kind of special edition, but meh. In true UnSignpost fashion, the editors noticed this about 2 weeks late - the Signpost having been so gloriously conceived (and never was a word more aptly suited to this juvenile-as-all-get-out publication) by Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek back in early May. The first issue rolled off the presses on May 8th, bringing you such earth-shattering news as "Rcmurphy nommed for Noob of the Month again" and "Uncyclopedia F**king Doomed", as well as establishing Signpost tradition with "Spacefiller of the week" (something about Grand Theft Auto). The editor's office here at USP should probably have had a revolving door installed, having been occupied at various times since Cajek and Skull abandoned it by THEDUDEMAN, Gerrycheevers, Heerenveen and some other numpty - although this is small change compared to the number of delivery bots and boys that have thrust the latest issue, still warm, through your letter flaps. Over the months, many other contributors have helped to keep the UnSignpost in its deserved position of "only weekly-ish newspaper on the wiki" - possibly by being so lame that no-one wanted to bother doing another one. And, having brought you such shattering exclusives as "Wookiepedia Too Cool For Cajek", "Porn Wars End in Sticky Truce" and "RC takes home NotM", the UnSignpost shows no sign of speeding up. Maybe one day, the unstoppable forces of apathy will finally overcome those who still labour under the impression that people actually care about seeing block log entries and biopics arrive on their talk page weekly, and the UnSignpost will grind to a halt. But until then, it will continue to bring you all the old news you've already seen somewhere else, whether you like it or not! UnSportsPost By ace sportshound Enzo Aquarius. In response to quite literally some demand, your ever-topical, finger-on-the-pulse UnSignpost brings you all the latest sports news that's unfit to print! NFL - Detroit Lions lost again bringing their record-breaking award-winning losing streak to 9, with their last notable points scored in the 2004 season. Lions followers are confident their team can break through once the team's brains are reverted back to Windows XP Basketball Edition. Big thumbs up and grins boys! NHL - Unlike their Lion brethren, the Detroit Red Wings are in the lead, as always. Then again, their conference is full of NHL expansion filler, so what can you expect? But hey, San Jose is up as well, so uh...yeah...good for them. Good for them. NBA - LA Lakers are up with no losses in their belt, but anybody east of LA doesn't care anyways. Uhhh....132 points scored by New York...good job guys. Football/Soccer - See, there are so many freaking teams and conferences that you just can't keep track of all of them. Then again, Japan beat Syria 3-1. Talk about a non-stop action high-scoring game! MLB - Training time, the high-gravity chamber has been set, Goku will be pitching. It's also time to bring in the young blood who will only play 1 game in the 2009 season.

Check out these pages! Who judges the judges who judge the, er, turkeys?. Through the fire and the flamewars?. {{tl|merge}}?. From our logs: 23:37, 17 November 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.122.136.234 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Blanking is bad. Even in New Zealand, or as we like to call it "Australia Lite") 23:32, 17 November 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 90.208.113.67 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Browser hijack links piss me off. When I'm pissed off, I ban dickheads. You are a dickhead.) 09:37, 17 November 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.19.184.109 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Those who can't do, critique. Poorly.) 04:13, 16 November 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 138.130.147.91 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ ( * 04:11, 16 November 2008 (hist) (diff) Santa Claus‎ (←Replaced page with 'FUCK OFF!') -- I know one kid who's getting coal this year...) Biopic of the Week What is it you look for in a 'crat? Is it diligent banstick wielding? Is it a list of featured articles as long as Spang's talk page? Is it having his own award, that he deigns to bestow on those he deems worthy? If it's any or all of these, Mhaille's yer man. If it's not, I dunno, try Olipro, or something. Cajek ban of the week 08:03, 16 November 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a big dick ‎ (<Sawblade5> RAHB take care of http://en.uncyclopedia.co/index.php?title=Special:BlockIP&ip=Cajek) "Writer of the Month" of the Week. Last heard from in any capacity on this site in January 2007, Imrealized was your WotM for September 2006, with an unheard-of-these-days 19 votes (and Severian liked him so much he voted for him twice). And with a triumvirate of articles like Paradise Lost, Smells Like Teen Spirit and Rorschach Inkblot Acid Test, (not to mention WWJJD?) it's easy to see why. Cabal news of the week There is no Cabal news of the week.

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MrN9001 20:46, 20 November 2008 (UTC)

You got some asplaining ta do

mmkay, are you by any chance Liam Adams, some guy I put as a friend on Facebook becaauuuuse...

• He's around your age
• He's from Britain
• He's gay
• He has a hat

and I have no idea how I became his "internets friend" unless it was something to do with uncyc --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 06:17, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

I don't like hats; they mess up my carefully crafted pillow-hair. So no I'm not your facebook friend. I don't even own a Facebook. Sorry :S or not, depends on what answer you were looking for. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 06:26 21 November 2008

I love hats! I'm around Orian's age! And i live in Britain, California! I dunno where you got the gay part, but are you sure that isn't me? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 06:28, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

Well it appears that you have a boyfriend to --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 06:32, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

You just think your straight. Besides you live in california: you won't be straight for much longer. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 06:30 21 November 2008

I want one of them... :( RT give me your boyfriend, he'll be happier with me. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 06:35 21 November 2008

Actually, for some stupid reason, California re-banned gay marriage. Fuck you, Arnold. Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (02:30 11-22-2008)

Actually, it could be User:Fag :D that's a lot more logical --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 06:37, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

That's possible, I think he mentioned a boyfriend at one time or another. Don't know what his stance on hats is though. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 06:39 21 November 2008

Yes Fag is the awesomes --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 06:43, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

Are you saying I'm not? <cries> SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 06:45 21 November 2008

But if you had a hat... --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 06:50, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

NO! I'm sick of people expecting me to wear hats and be somebody I'm not! If I need to keep my head dry then I'll carry a parasol! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 06:52 21 November 2008

Personally, I think hats are amazing. So much better than walking around hatless. I'm glad they passed that anti-hatlessness law over here. And, no, Orian, I will not let you have my boyfriend. Or his hat. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 07:40, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

Oh my god you're so selfish! you've had him three weeks now it's my turn! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 07:43 21 November 2008

Ack! Fine, you baby. Have him. I still have...... damn. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 07:46, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

You're right, it is me DJ. And I don't usually wear a hat :P —talk 12:06, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

Oh my god RT what kind of boyfriend are you? Jeeze. You didn't even put up a fight for your man. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:32 21 November 2008

Also: DJ and Fag up a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G! :P SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:32 21 November 2008

Ooh, look who's jealous! :P —talk 18:04, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

See, I'm straight and I'm still a better gay than you Orian :P also it's good to see you found someone Fag :D --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 03:39, 22 November 2008 (UTC)

Lawl! He's got you there, Orian. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 03:51, 22 November 2008 (UTC)

<cries> SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 09:33 22 November 2008

Aww, cheer up, Orian! You'll find someone someday! Until then, who wants smoothies? :D -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 18:25, 22 November 2008 (UTC)

I don't. You know, I haven't had meth for three months. Well, back to the addiction! *lights a joint* Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (19:28 11-22-2008)

/throws meth in blender with bananas, strawberries, milk and a scoop of ice cream. Blend until frothy. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 20:39, 22 November 2008 (UTC)

As if eating meth was your creation. *eats meth brownie* *reads cookbook* Wait one hour to fuck up. Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (20:43 11-22-2008)

68.197.173.216

Do you know the guy? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 01:14, 22 November 2008 (UTC)

Wha? Was that the IP that Syc reverted? If it was then probably not, though I haven't ever bothered to memorise my friends IP adresses or those of people whome I do not like. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 09:36 22 November 2008

I do! I also memorize my friends social security numbers, dental records, and the color of their underwear. It comes in handy. Or it will. Eventually. Poop? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 18:20, 22 November 2008 (UTC)

No. Now stop being random. Wait, that doesn't sound good coming from me. Well, whatever. *thrust* Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (18:57 11-22-2008)

... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 19:19, 22 November 2008 (UTC)

What? Everyone else does it. You do it. That guy over there does it. Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (19:26 11-22-2008)

well, not on a regular basis! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 20:41, 22 November 2008 (UTC)

Really? Once a month is a regular basis. Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (20:45 11-22-2008)

what? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:36, 22 November 2008 (UTC)

Oh, it's true. Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (00:03 11-23-2008)

I'd like to know what methy's sig really says. Bet it has nothing to do with methamphetamine and everything to do with threats of rape. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:53 23 November 2008

It's "It's fucking awesome !!" in Japanese. And yes, I am relating that to Meth. Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (15:18 11-23-2008)

Hey, Orian!

Did you know that you're awesome? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 01:28, 25 November 2008 (UTC)

Hey, Orian! Did you know...oh, he beat me here. sirsysrq @ 01:45 Nov 25

Aweh, you guys... *giggles* -- Seriously what do you want? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 02:41 25 November 2008

nothing! what in heavens would make you think that? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 02:49, 25 November 2008 (UTC)

Pff, speak for yourself. I'm here because I'm broke. I know you're fucking loaded, Orian. Don't lie. sirsysrq @ 02:58 Nov 25

How about I give you love instead? Then you can sell it. *hugs Sissy* There now go pass that on for $30. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 03:02 25 November 2008

no for me? ;_; -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 03:06, 25 November 2008 (UTC)

I believe selling "love" only works when it's on tape. Bust out the camera, we're making a movie...and I'm the star. (My brother and I walk around saying that a lot, "we're making a movie and I'm the star.") sirsysrq @ 03:09 Nov 25

ooh! I'm still making that western if anyone cares! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 03:15, 25 November 2008 (UTC)

*Hugs RT* *Kisses RT* *Strips RT in a senusal manner* *lays RT on bed* *Fucks RT's brain out his head* SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 03:17 25 November 2008

Orian and Sissy Make a Porno! This years Christmas comedy of the centuary! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 03:17 25 November 2008

Damn it RT! Conflicting me on my own talk page, that's rude. That's gonna earn you a raping. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 03:17 25 November 2008

You get the idea...

-- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 03:38, 25 November 2008 (UTC)

Feature. And with that, I'm hitting the sack. Gnight, everypeople. sirsysrq @ 03:44 Nov 25

Cool, pic, you make that or found it? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 03:59 25 November 2008

Made it! :D (you're the spiky-haired one with the evil look on his face) -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 04:01, 25 November 2008 (UTC)

I thought so. Yays! I'm going to frame this! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 04:28 25 November 2008

Yeah, that's pretty awesome. I like, love you now, RT. And Orian...I'll see you in five minutes. Let me just go get my costume. And by that, I mean...my dick. Dammit, I was trying to come up with better innuendo. sirsysrq @ 14:31 Nov 25

Subtlety really isn't your string suite is it, Sissy? Also I have nothing else to say. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 15:06 25 November 2008

You got some voting to do.

Whore. sirsysrq @ 01:42 Nov 26

Here it is, buddy.

Here it is, my fine feathered friend. Let's get to work. sirsysrq @ 18:53 Nov 26

What do you thinkses?

I think that Uncyclopedia should actually have a gay mafia style group of people, in a similar way to how the UnSisters were organized, what do you think? YOU THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA RIGHT?!?!?!?!!?!?! —talk 18:30, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, because we all remember how well UnSisters went. sirsysrq @ 18:37 Nov 27

Well, that didn't work out, but I think if we're a bit lovingly forceful it would definitely work :P —talk 18:41, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

Would I be allowed to be an honorary turd burglar? sirsysrq @ 19:04 Nov 27

Oh indeed, if not higher! :P It'd probably be in the style of the whole CMC thing, i.e. there's an army-style heirarchy. That's assuming that would work and get enough people... —talk 19:48, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

I'll help then. This actually sounds like a good idea. Uncyc needs more usergroups that don't do anything. sirsysrq @ 20:28 Nov 27

Oh yes. There had to not be a gay cabal some day. What should it be called? —talk 20:39, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

The Uncyclopedia Penis Club for Men. sirsysrq @ 21:21 Nov 27

Um do you want honesty? Also. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 21:46 27 November 2008

Do you not think it's a good idea? Also, yeah, do you want to start the WAG article or shall I? ♥ —talk 21:49, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

Well it's just we have aproximatly 2.5 gays and sissy on here at the minute, And literally nobody cares about the CMC or any user group other than PEEING. Add to this the fact I just don't care either way I can't help but feel it'll be a waste of everyones time. Sorry. Also You can make a start and I'll add stuff later maybe. Unless I can't be bothered, in which case I'll sleep. Are you gonna do it first person? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 21:58 27 November 2008

Am I the .5? Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (00:31 12-2-2008)

could make it .75 if you prefer. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 02:58 2 December 2008

UnSignpost: 27th November2008

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Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

November 27th • Issue 26 • The newspaper it's tough to swat flies with

Uncyc shall go to the Ball! The seasonal tang in the air, the anticipation on the faces of Uncyclopedians everywhere... it can only mean one thing: The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball is upon us again! The popular annual celebration of all that's good about bad taste is hoping to provoke a slew of skewed satire and give those foolhardy enough to volunteer as judges a colossal headache. And a good laugh, of course. To whet the appetite, let's take a look at some of the cream of last year's competition: A bunch of aristocrats fucking. Awesome vid Pacific War The Bureaucrats (Joke) Why?:Use a wooden condom Yup, standards are that high, or low, depending on your point of view, sense of humour, religion, shoe size and taste in hats. So jump to it! If you can make the judges laugh even as they vomit up their own entrails, you could be in with a chance of winning the glorious title "Aristocrat en Regalia", as well as the undying jealousy of the other entrants you so satisfyingly routed. Or you might lose. Asked for quotes, organiser RAHB quipped "I'll probably get on it sometime tonight, if not tomorrow", while official judging type Modusoperandi added "my memoires are riddled with mind expanding shit". {{username}} claims millionth victim Stalking the articles, forums and userpages of Uncyclopedia like some kind of bad metaphor with legs, the notorious {{username}} template has claimed its millionth victim. The individual in question (who shall not be named because this publication is trying to write an article about {{username}} without actually using {{username}}) was innocently browsing through Uncyclopedia's debating rooms, looking in at the progress of such worthwhile literary endeavours as the incrementation project and the attention span test, when the vengeful template struck! "It was there, in front of me, an accusation that I was teh gheyz", the hapless victim told us exclusively. "Such hard-hitting slander had to be addressed, and addressed immediately, so I clicked the edit button, and launched into a passionate and vitriolic defence of my unquestionable heterosexuality post-haste!" Ironically, it was the length of this diatribe that finally revealed the subterfuge. "It took me some time to compose a suitable riposte, listing at length my many dalliances with members of the opposite sex, my subscription to Playboy and my utter distaste for the movie Brokeback Mountain - in fact it took so long that I was logged out from my account" said the sap. "So when I hit the preview button to behold my comeback in all its savage majesty, what should catch my eye but the <insert name here> message that betrays {{username}} abuse? I felt so embarrassed, the only logical course of action I could take was to sell my story to a newspaper with a global readership - you did say you'd pay me for this, right?" Shortly after this point, the interview was discontinued due to a disagreement between interviewer and interviewee. Asked for a final quote, we were told "fuck {{username}}, and fuck you too!" - a comment that speaks volumes about the suffering this terrible template is capable of inflicting on the unwary. {{username}} was unavailable for comment, and remains at large, ready to strike again.

Check out these pages! Don't be a dick? How do you measure up? "{{Oh dear}}"? Oh dear! From our logs: 12:14, 26 November 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 118.101.59.19 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Excess stupid detected. Initialising idiot smiting mechanism) 18:21, 25 November 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 198.20.32.1 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (You only sort of suck, now. Come back when your sucking ceases.) 00:13, 23 November 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of A power level over 9000 ‎ (Vandalizing Cajek's userpage. You should be ASHAMED. Also, Skull said this bantime actually works. Let's see!) Biopic of the Week Holy Cheese, it's Necropaxx! From humble beginnings (starting out as just another notch on Famine's banstick), cheery, Grim Reaper looky-likey Necropaxx has stalked his way through the site, creating quality features, a bunch of images, and a growing portfolio of helpful reviews. Just don't diss the cheese, OK? He worships the cheese. VFD kept article of the week Yam - c'mon folks, it's tuber humo(u)r. "A yam will totally kick your ass if you call it a sweet potato. I'm not kidding." Doesn't that just make you want to rush in there and give it the magic rewriting touch it needs? Unactioned image request of the week User:Sycamore/Mephistopheles - "I kind of want it to be a bit like Goethe's character Mephisto, but maybe with a "Sympathy for the Devil, Rolling Stones" quality - I'd really like something with the whole transformation from a poodle to the student bit or some of the character qualities here." for Sycamore. Anyone with photoshop feeling helpful? Cajek ban of the week 12:31, 24 November 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 17 minutes 21 seconds ‎ (What is this thing about blocking you anyway? And why aren't I in on it?)

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MrN9001 21:05, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

Thanks

UnSignpost: 4th December 2008 (yea, we know it's late)

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STOP... SIGNPOST TIME!!

December 4th • Issue 27 • Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

Sycamore: How does he do it? An UnSignpost Special Investigation Sycamore. What words waft gently into the back garden of your mind when you hear that word? "Tree", perhaps, or "unusual, propeller-style seeds", if you're of a naturalistic bent. Maybe (although we admit it is highly unlikely), the words "song by really obscure Scottish rock band Deckard" will sneak in under the fence. But for those of an Uncyclopedia nature (and let's face it, that should include all those reading this, or the paperbot's malfunctioning again), the words are likely to include: "Scottish"; "omnipresent"; "recent changes fiend"; "reviewer extraordinaire"; "categories"; "ban patrol"; or possibly "who?" if you're out of the loop. But who is this masked Celt? Well, since changing identity from MMACKNIGHT‎ in March 2008, he's racked up an impressive 18,000 edits (or he will have by the time this paper is actually delivered - it's hanging at 17.940-odd at the time of typing). Many of these edits have been thanklessly categorising pages, voting for deletion, reverting and ban patrolling - the kind of soul-crushing work, in other words, that would sap the will to live of the average individual, but not our Syc. His efforts have not gone un-noticed. Indeed, he's been re-nommed for Uncuclopedian of the Month, even though he's already won the award. And despite the understandable reluctance of the non-existent cabal to swell their non-existent ranks, there is a small but significant groundswell of opinion gathering that this should be followed by the bestowing of a Banhammer on the cheery Caledonian. All of this is interesting, of course, and handily fills up column inches in this week's issue, but it doesn't answer the burning question: how does he do it? Once again spending no expense on uncovering the truth, your fearless UnSignpost has the answers, and they lie in his welcome message, and a gratuitous stereotype of his nationality. Yes, Jaffa Cakes and Irn Bru are the fuel of choice of this salutary Scot, and it would appear that the chemical reaction of these two volatile substances in his bloodstream creates an energy level easily the equivalent of at least a small-to-medium Hadron Collider. This is sufficient to cause in him a state not unequivalent to that Scientific Holy Grail, perpetual motion. So there you go kids: that's how he does it! Warning: Your safety-conscious UnSignpost would like to point out that Irn Bru is only known to have this beneficial effect on Scots. Those from less tartan countries would be advised to steer well clear - don't try this at home, kids! From the Cabal's desk Greeting citizens. This post does not exist. We are not addressing you from this paper. We do not exist. We do not sit in dark corners, smoking expensive cigars and smirk when we see you make mistakes. Mistakes on this site do not exist. We do not watch your every step with our ban hammers poised for actions. Mainly because your edits don't exist. We are not tired by your petty dramas and wonder when will you write some new classics. Simply because you do not exist. You are not reading this post. We will not meet again next week. This was not the cabal's weekly address to the citizenry. Keep the peace, obey the cabal. The cabal is your friend.

Check out these pages! TKF v BHOP: an acronymious battle The inevitable bandwagon A history lesson, and RAHB's penis again From our logs BUMPER SPECIAL: 07:24, 3 December 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.43.66.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (You've got to stop taking vacations like this. They get in the way of the valuable contributions you make to our site.) 00:40, 3 December 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Fat hideous cunt (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Codeine why are you using socks to vandalize us) 18:25, 2 December 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.146.0.222 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (We love niggers. My best friend is a nigger. My wife is a nigger. And when I have a son, I hope he'll be a nigger rather than an IP) 19:57, 1 December 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 204.184.39.253 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Regardless of what your girlfriends may have told you, orgasms are real) 18:18, 1 December 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Codeine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a Country/Folk musician ‎ (When I see your name on my block log, I think of a song lyric by Townes van Zandt, if that means anything.) 18:03, 1 December 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked RAHB (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a penis ‎ (When I see your name in my watchlist, I think of penis. And that's not always a good thing.) 21:03, 30 November 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Sycamore (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 30 seconds ‎ (That's for editing a year old topic and making RAHB think there was actually something exciting happening. Bastard.) 20:37, 30 November 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Sycamore (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 30 seconds ‎ (That's for editing a year old topic and making me think there was actually something exciting happening. Bastard.) Biopic of the Week There's beautiful, there's downright gorgeous, and then, beyond even that, there's Prettiestpretty. Blessed with writing talent to rival her boundless good looks, she has edified us on the delights of the Queef, the significance of the Colossus of Barbie, and much more besides. Long may she lend her grace to Uncyc! Forgotten and so-short-it-possibly-ought-to-be-a-template page of the week Tact: Don't worry about it. A lot of people have weird-shaped bodies.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 19:06, 5 December 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 11th December

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH

December 11th • Issue 28 • The truth, the whole truth, and nothing

Colin breaks #uncyclopedia By SysRq At approximately 7:01 EST, Colin "All your base" Heaney officially fucked everything up yet again. IRC was engaged in what started out as a naturally occurring, all-caps LOL train. However, being the little faggot that he is, Colin decided to join in, effectively making it not funny anymore. This reporter, being an expert witness in cases of dipshittery, quickly came to the conclusion that "Colin makes everything suck." However, Uncyclopedia's resident shitstain did not stop there. He proceeded to incite bizarre and violent urges within members of IRC, causing them to commit unspeakable acts. This reporter, under Colin's influence, killed both of his parents; deadpidgeon and MrN9000 both became homosexuals as a result. Colin himself was then found to have been responsible for every case of unpleasantness throughout history: the Holocaust, 9/11, and abortion. As other users unknowingly joined the channel-turned-warzone, they too fell victim to Colin's faggotry. Users were eventually transforming into furries and fucking each other with "furry Disney dicks" just before this reporter relocated to a safer distance. Needless to say, there is now sufficient evidence that everything stupid and gay and unfunny is, in fact, Colin's fault. Chicks, man. By Regret Tenenbaum Hot Chicks. Just the words start your heart racing and your mumble mumble. Hot chicks have long failed to receive the ample, under-wire support they deserve here on Uncyc, and if it were not for one, soft-drink based, visionary noob, the femmes fatales of Uncyc would still be a saggy, wrinkly mess. Now all the babes, sexy ladies, foxy chicks, MILFs, and, yes, even magical anime girls, rest in the palm of your hand, throbbing with their new-found intellectual networking - WikiProject Hot Chicks. When asked how the aforementioned n00b came up with such a brilliant idea, he responded: "I don't know what UnSignpost is, my motivation for starting U[N]:WP Hot Chicks was because I thought it was rather humorous, I would like to be adopted, and in Soviet Russia, all your base are belong to YOU !!" (Doctapeppaman was promptly given a stern spanking for such irresponsible use of memes). The project has already succeeded in tagging several sexy talk-pages with the WikiProject Hot Chicks seal, thereby rating them on a random and baseless scale from A- to D-Cup, and the project will most likely be a success, considering the high ratio of users to perverts present on the site. Perhaps, one day, the project will achieve its primary goal - making every article without enough pictures of scantily-clad women into an article about cheesecake.

Check out these pages! Have yourself a neurotic little Christmas Will anyone notice another template around here? Lawyers struggling for work in global recession From our logs: 02:14, 10 December 2008 Flammable (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.142.37.160 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Hi. Welcome to Uncyc. I'm glad you enjoyed your stay here. We did too.) 13:16, 8 December 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 208.43.6.211 (Talk) with an expiry time of 15 years ‎ (congratulations! You'll be back when OJ is out of prison. Let me know he gets a parole before that) Codeine (Talk | contribs) huffed "Wild sweaty orgies" (If anyone's gonna write an article about these it'll be me. I've done the research.) Biopic of the Week Far more than just a definite article, THE is a veritable cornerstone of the site, spoken of in hushed tones wherever people gather together to discuss prolific authors with ALLCAPS usernames only three letters in length. From computer expertise and nature documentaries to frankly ludicrous amounts of UnNews, THE covers all bases. And he won the WotM at the twenty-ninth time of asking in January 2008. Vital Question of the Week If we put blatant space filler in this box, will anyone notice? Classic "...of the Week" Box of the Week Week Box of the week - by far the most classic Classic "...of the Week" Box of the Week, "Week Box of the week", was featured in the very first edition of the Unsignpost, and for some reason that only the classic writers of the most classic Classic "...of the Week" Box of the Week know, Week Box of the week spoke not of boxes, as you weak-minded simpletons might believe, but of something higher - Dr. Skullthumper or Cajek's "humor juice".

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 21:11, 11 December 2008 (UTC)

breaking the lonely scilence of your talkpage...

sup, orion? how are you...im sorry i havent been online in awile but ive been up to much revision over the holidays...it really sucks... well i hope my pathetic excuse for a rant has filled a void in your talkpage...i still want to improve my profile on uncyclopedia any ideas? anyhow.....Flare 23:47, 16 December 2008 (UTC)

Also: where the hell are you? You haven't interrupted a conversation of mine in days. I'm beginning to feel optimistic, quite frankly. Sorry, "worried". I'm starting to feel worried. Honest. --UU - natter 09:50, Dec 17

Yay! People like me! Thanks Flare! Although you did spell silence wrong, and my name. But water under the bridge. Also I don't think I've gone anywhere, just havent done anything much. Also, also I hear you talking about a birthday? Is it your or you organising someone elses? If yours then happy birthdays! You're even older than when we last talked. Also I have been working on the christmas thing, is it still good? Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 14:56 17 December 2008

One year older, one year closer to shaking that statitory rape lawsuit. Oh-Ryan, Merry Christmas. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 16:20, 17 December 2008 (UTC)

Yay a tenuouse link to the inevitable topic of rape! Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 16:41 17 December 2008

Nah, rape is stupid. Statitory rape... slightly better. Plus I haven't said "'ello" in a while. *Waves across ocean in general direction of England, before realizing that I am a stupid American, and don't know what England is. Or ocean. Wait, where am I?* The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 17:22, 17 December 2008 (UTC)

Briton, UK United Kingdom. Those are acceptable terms, for I am not in England. And who's Ryan? Or did you figure out where my name comes from. Not that my name is Ryan. sigh... I really should have raped him asked him out. Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 21:06 17 December 2008

Nah, I wasn't thinking your name was Ryan, I just figured out another way to bastardize your name. As if people don't already do that enough. (Orion, Orien, etc.) Second, It is just too long to type out United Ki.... yeah lost it. UK is too short. So I guess I'll settle on Briton, although it sounds like an insult (Damn! Bitch weighs a Briton!). And lastly, a rape joke?! I for one would never stoop down to your level. EVER! No rape jokes of any kind. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 21:11, 17 December 2008 (UTC)

It's Sissy's fault! He makes me say these things! I can't help it... He makes me do things to him, sometimes... and then he kisses me and gives me special cuddles. Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 21:19 17 December 2008

I'll tell you the story of the first time I got special cuddles, and then you'll understand why I'm not allowed within 100 feet of any Bald Eagles. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 21:24, 17 December 2008 (UTC)

So eagles raped you and then got a restaining order on you? You must have been terrible. Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 21:45 17 December 2008

Maybe. Hadn't really gotten that far. I'll go with yes, but I dunno, maybe not. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 21:52, 17 December 2008 (UTC)

Wandering past briefly on my way to nowhere, I feel compelled to mention that Briton is something you are, not somewhere you're from. A Briton is one who comes from Britain. And a sad bastard is someone who knows that and points it out. Ahem. Finally, good night folks. don't do too much of this "work" stuff, it really wipes you out. --UU - natter 22:55, Dec 17

Merry Ambiguous Latter-Year Holiday or Other Non-Religious Festival, Orian! (just thought I'd pop on and say so.) -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 01:25, 18 December 2008 (UTC)

Whatever, minger. Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 14:00 19 December 2008

Merry X-mas to you too RT. Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 14:00 19 December 2008

Hello

hey, jeeze, confusing talk page. anyhoo, I saw you talking to someone on a talkpage, and you said that you can help make fancy sigs. (signatures, i think thats what you ment by "sig".) I would like to know how. If you can help me, I would appreciate it. I dont really like a boring signatures anyway. :D k, thnxbai- ReddFighter 03:33, 18 December 2008 (UTC)

Oh hi there! Sorry for not replying sooner I was masturbating and or playing gears of war 2. Now, signatures. Firstly create the page User:ReddFighter/sig then create what you want your sig to look like using various codes and colours or pictures (nothing too long or tall (no pics over 50px tall) as far as I know that's the only criteria). Now click on the "my preferences" link and put: {{User:ReddFighter/sig}} in the "signature" then tick "raw signature". Simple. As for the codes you want, it's easier to just take from other sigs (remember don't save when you cut from other's) and mess with them untill you get what you want. Have fun! Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 14:14 19 December 2008

Thnx dude! I'll get right to making my new sig! :D c u -ReddFighter 20:00, 19 December 2008 (UTC)

:D

I made a sig, I just want to kno if its ok. -- ReddFighterTalk! |Me Blog| 00:06, 20 December 2008 (UTC)

Its appearance seems ok but theres code everywhere. And I know why, I told you wrong. It should be: {{subst:nosubst|user:ReddFighter/sig}} Akso the code is leaking. let me sort that, if i can then we'll go to level two sig creation (as i'm geussing you were looking for time/date to look pretty too.) Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 00:16 20 December 2008

Alright, let me do a drive by here to correct your issues. You need to close your goddamn tags, for one. Secondly, avoid images larger than 16px, anything else disrupts things. Also, fix your link. Your font is hard to read, and is a bit small. Finally, you need to subst:nosubst the entire thing. Please rectify immediately. sirsysrq @ 00:19 Dec 20

Geeze, sissy don't be so snippy with him. He's new. And the picture size was my fault. Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 00:45 20 December 2008

k, orian just said something about that. I'll do it right now, unless someone is editing it for me... idk. - ReddFighter Talk! |Me Blog| 00:21, 20 December 2008 (UTC)

Should i just take off the kirby and no smoking sign till i get more xp? - ReddFighter Talk! |Me Blog| 00:26, 20 December 2008 (UTC)

yeah if you want to get rid of the pictures it'll be alright, but this isn't an RPG, you dont earn xp points and get upgrades (unless you coult respect as an upgrade, in which case I'm level 6!). I'll just sort your sig give me sec. Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 00:29 20 December 2008

I wasn't being snippy, Orian. Don't backsass me like that again or I'll punch you right in the throat. sirsysrq @ 00:40 Dec 20

ummmm... is this a bit better? I still need to do the SUB:nosub thing, how do i do that? O, and i ment xp by being more experianced at making sigs. ;D -- ReddFighter Talk! Me Blog| 00:38, 20 December 2008 (UTC)

Oh, and that sig looks much better. Just subst:nosubst it and you're golden. sirsysrq @ 00:43 Dec 20

you need to have {{subst:nosubst|user:ReddFighter/sig}} in the signature box in the my preferences link at the top and tick the raw signature box. also cool, I was just being frivolous. Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 00:45 20 December 2008

And teh next person to edid conflict me is going to be mauled. Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 00:45 20 December 2008

cool. k, umm, huh, this is going to sound nubish but, how or where do i sub:nosub it? -- ReddFighter Talk!| 00:46, 20 December 2008 (UTC)

oops, i was commenting right when u commented. um, so i just put sub:nosub in my preferences by User:Reddfighter/sig? -- ReddFighter Talk!| 00:49, 20 December 2008 (UTC)

k, I think I did it, but not sure... - ReddFighter Talk!| 00:51, 20 December 2008 (UTC)

What you have seems fine. Also -- seen as how my talk page has become so disorganised -- colons. Use them to indent on talk pages but use one more than the person you are replying to used. It's important for keeping order. And yeah hhave fun, good to see people taking an interest. Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 00:53 20 December 2008

Well, it's nice to keep abreast of current sig issues. You tits will probably not appreciate though... Happy Christmas. MrN 00:54, Dec 20

cool. k, I always get confused on how many colons the last guy had, sorry for making your talk page all mest up. anyhoo, thnx for the sig! love it! c u l8r -- ReddFighter Talk!| 00:55, 20 December 2008 (UTC)

It's no worries. I'll even let it slide that you used four here when you were clearly talking to me and not the nudist. the whole place takes a bit of getting used to.

And a merry christmas to you too MrN whom I have not seen in a while. How you getting on? Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 00:58 20 December 2008

Well, ReddFighter: If we could keep my colon out of this (especially on Orians talk page) I would appreciate it. In addition... I'm feeling a bit of a tit at the moment. MrN 01:03, Dec 20

sry MrN, I was typing my comment when you put your comment on, so it looked like I was refering to you, when i was refering to an "average joe" type deal. sry. -- ReddFighter Talk!| 01:07, 20 December 2008 (UTC)

crap! forgot the colon. I'm such a n00b. O_o -- ReddFighter Talk!| 01:09, 20 December 2008 (UTC)

Hea, no need to be anal about it. Also... I was joking. Twas a pun sir. ;-) /me gets coat MrN 01:11, Dec 20

ha :D -- ReddFighter Talk!| 01:14, 20 December 2008 (UTC)

Yay! Laughter! Anyhoo, good to see you MrN and you Red. For now though I'm going to bed. Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 01:21 20 December 2008

Nooo! I wanted to call you on Skype! sirsysrq @ 01:37 Dec 20

Seasons Greetings

Remember: Keep the "X" in X-mas Santa checks his list to see who's been naughty and who's been nice. And naughty always makes out better at X-mas

Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 18:23, 21 December 2008 (UTC)

Awsome! :D You too PP! Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 22:05 21 December 2008

A FESTIVUS FOR THE RESTOFUS!

	Happy Festivus, from The Led Balloon and Jerry Stiller. Put up your Festivus Pole, air your grievances, and prepare for the feats of strength, for festivus cannot continue until I am pinned! Oh, and merry Christmas if you're into that sort of thing.
	It's a Festivus miracle!

- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:25, Dec 21

Yay! Festivus! thanks leddy and a happy holidays to you too! ...That sounded sarcastic somehow, wasn't meant to. :D Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 22:05 21 December 2008

Merry Christmas!

or else. Thought I'd drop by!

screw raindeer.

See You later and have a happy New Years! :D -- ReddFighter Talk!| 20:50, 21 December 2008 (UTC)

Yay! Also cool. And I added a little extra code at the end of the picture there, it keeps things looking good. Merry X-mas to you! Also I've looked over your blog and am very exited to know what a machinima actually is! :D Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 22:05 21 December 2008

lol k! :D (PS a machinima stands for "machine cinima." they are movies that are made by video games, like halo 3 is used alot because of the theater and forge). c u! -- ReddFighter Talk!| 22:21, 21 December 2008 (UTC)

I thought it was something like that. Well good luck with it/them. Also I take it you have a thing for Halo, I'm playing through the second one and will be getting on to the third eventually. Hate to say this but I'm not finding it as epic as everyone says I should be. Although Gears of War is amazing! I am of the opinion that if you haven't played it and Gears 2 you havn't lived. You can add me as a Live friend if you want; my gamertag is the same as my username for this. :) Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 22:38 21 December 2008

yeah, I like Call of Duty 4 and Gears WAAAAAAAY more than Halo 3. I just make movies out of it because it is easy. ;D But I really want to play Gears 2! Yes, I have not yet. But sure, I'll add you. My gamertag is ReddFighter, of course. Ya, halo 3 isn't as "good" as they could have made it, but it works for machinimas. -- ReddFighter Talk!| 22:45, 21 December 2008 (UTC)

Happy Holidays from all of us at SysRq Waste Disposal and Grinder Co.

Happy Giftmas. ~Sissie

sirsysrq @ 23:45 Dec 21

what's with all this "ie" shit? Trying to give yourself a little bit of masculinity? Well Sissy, the whole point of your name is emasculation. Apologise to your master! Or something. Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 01:08 22 December 2008

There's nothing masculine about "ie", let me tell you. I'm not trying to make myself look any better than I actually am. It's my gift to you all: one day of humility not reminding you of how much better than you I am. sirsysrq @ 02:25 Dec 22

Oh a computer joke. Awsome. And yes. Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 11:45 22 December 2008

During this season...

Yeah Happy/Merry whatever you believe/ride off to get presents from us at the Church of Assholes Who Make Fun of Churches of Assholes --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:32, 24 December 2008 (UTC)

Also you win hate from the Pope! --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:32, 24 December 2008 (UTC)

Yay christmas decoded and festive hate from religious leaders! this is shaping up to be a good one! Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk 13:42 24 December 2008

Here's Your Christmas Tree

Merry Christmas 2008 From Sawblade5

Here's a Potato Christmas Tree For You!
Caution the Grue protecting this tree!

---

----Pleb- Sawblade5 ^{( yell | FAQ | I did this )} 09:49, 25 December 2008 (UTC)