User:Soviet/sandbox
Kali Linux[edit | edit source]
“I am now a hacker!”
Kali Linux is the Linux distribution everyone uses when they get mad and decide to hack their friend’s Roblox account. They start by looking for hacking methods and find out about Kali Linux. Since “Linux” makes you sound cool and hacking sounds cool so you could imagine why people want it. To further convince people that they are known a hacker, they get a corny wallpaper of some guy in a black hoodie with a mask. This will make Kali Linux users seem "cool", but it really makes them seem childish and stupid. Kali Linux also comes with 400 pre-installed hacking tools that no one knows how to use. Kali Linux users also cannot seem to grasp the concept of hacking being a crime. Kali is maintained by an American company known as Offending security.
Requirements[edit | edit source]
As usual, Kali Linux will require
- A PC
- 10 MB of RAM
- A CD or any type of bootable media
Installation[edit | edit source]
Since Kali Linux is used for hacking, people like to use it on virtual machines, so they don't get caught as easily. If you don't know what a virtual machine is, it is basically a computer in a computer used when people want to get away with hacking. To install Kali on a virtual machine, you will need to obtain ISO image files. After obtaining these sacred files you will then need to go through the setup. Since you are too noob, you just click "okay" on every option and hope you did everything right.
If you aren't doing illegal activities, then you can do the normal installation process of Kali Linux. Then use a blowtorch and burn the ISO Image onto your CD. After that is done, you will be prompted with several messages telling you to configure stuff.
Tools[edit | edit source]
One of the reasons Kali Linux is so appealing to people is because it comes with over 400 pre-installed hacking tools. People think these hacking tools will make them a pro hacker and grant them the ability to hack the government or something. Here is a list of some tools that sound cool, but people just don't know how to use them:
- NetDiscover
Allows you to gather data on your friends which is great, but you don't have any friends.
- OpenVAS
Assesses your defenses so when you hack your friends, they can't hack you back.
- Hashcat
Cracks password hashes in up to six to seven days.
Software[edit | edit source]
Software is a term for the entire set of programs, procedures, and routines associated for your device to follow. It is a set of instructions that screams at the hardware to follow a set of instructions.
Types of software[edit | edit source]
There are many different types of software. Some of the lamest are listed below
- System software (The bad one)
System software controls the main functions of your computer in the worst ways possible, and you can’t do anything about it. The most famous example, the operating system, which was created with the sole goal of making you accept terms and conditions that do nothing but sell your data and slow down your computer. The best part is that you can’t uninstall it because that would mean the computer would just turn into a useless piece of metal and plastic.
- Application software (The even worse one)
Also known as "apps" application software is software designed for you to do specific tasks such as screaming at strangers online and wasting your time on gambling websites. Application software was likely created by the App Store to sell more apps.
History[edit | edit source]
The concept of software has been around since the early days of computers. It all started when the humans realized that their computers sucked. It had no soul, no purpose, nothing to do. So, they wrote code that would make their computers do specific tasks. This would in return, make them suck less and give them a purpose in life unlike the unemployed. The first software was developed in the 1940s by collared shirt waring computer nerds such as John von Neumann.
Software development accelerated in the 1950s and 1960s with the introduction of cryptic languages for the nerdeist of nerds called code. Code was designed to be as cryptic and confusing as possible so the vast majority of people couldn't use it.
UnNews:Over 1000 Flights Canceled due to US Government Shutdown[edit | edit source]
In a not-so-shocking turn of events, the ongoing government shutdown led to a cancelation of over 1000 flights, leaving millions of travelers stranded at airports staring at walls for hours waiting for their planes to arrive.
This is partially because of unpaid air traffic controllers calling in "sick" to avoid having to put up with the ever-increasing workload. Without these so-called essential workers, flights are being canceled because, pilots are too dumb to not crash into a fucking mountain without someone constantly telling them, "Don't crash into the mountain or you'll die." Annoyed travelers are saying, "The planes can practically fly themselves. We don't need them air traffic controllers yelling at them."
The FAA has issued a mediocre quality statement assuring travelers that the cancellations are "not a big deal" and that flyers will have to "suck it up and wait" for their delayed or canceled flights. The FAA clearly isn't aware of the existence of social media, a land where people's attention spans are viciously grinded down to a mere 10 seconds before they start demanding refunds.
The good news is that waiting half the day at one of the worst places to exist, will give travelers the perfect opportunity to take a break and meditate while everyone is screaming in frustration. The bad is news is that their non-refundable flight worth more than them is canceled.
Travelers are left to deal with the aftermath, with some taking to platforms like Reddit and Facebook to express their outrage and frustration. One Reddit user says, "What the fuck."
Others are trying to be positive in this hopeless situation. "This is great!" said a user on Facebook. "I get to spend the weekend eating cornflakes and doing work instead of being stuck in a metal tube for 19 hours. Isn't that just wonderful!"
As the shutdown continues, airlines are telling increasingly annoyed travelers, "This will all be over in about 6 months. For now, continue waiting 9 hours in your least favorite place while you find out we don't offer refunds."
All hope is not lost yet though; the FAA is screaming at unpaid employees working overtime to ensure that your flight will be delayed for as long as possible. After all, who needs air traffic controllers who are losing the will to live then waiting.
Causes[edit | edit source]
Although there are many causes for the cancelations two main factors persist:
- Lack of funding
Without a functioning government, air traffic controllers are left with either two choices: Go to your hard job that doesn't even pay or spend the day eating cornflakes and pretending to be sick. Obviously, most choose the second option but the one's that choose the first are left with twice the workload and simply can't do their job efficiently. TSA agents, with their paychecks delayed have also discovered a newfound appeal for "sick days." Both have been calling in claiming to be infected with a deadly uncurable virus that makes them allergic to work.
- Lack of terrorist identification
Without TSA agents to search every inch of your belongings to find a mere bottle of water, TSA agents are at a loss. They are wondering how they will know who's trying to re-create 9/11 when half their workforce is gone. This leads to operations taking more time and flights getting canceled.
