UnNews:Trump kills the penny

Wednesday, November 12, 2025

They're all got a use they never had in circulation.

PHILADELPHIA -- The U.S. government has put an end to pennies after embarrassingly realising it cost them four cents to make a one cent coin which is known to the common person as a waste. The last one cent coin, with a special 'Omega' symbol (because the U.S. just has to make everything overly dramatic), was minted Philadelphia, ending 232 years of the U.S. not realising the math didn’t check out. To hide this embarrassing fact that they didn’t realise spending four cents to make a one cent coin wasn’t a good idea, the U.S. claimed they would be saving $56 million annually. The U.S. Treasurer has said, "This act will save $56 million every year!" As if that would solve the $34 trillion national debt. The final few pennies will be auctioned off to people who really want to spend thousands of dollars for a one cent coin that no longer has value. This finally gives the penny a use it never had in circulation.

What this means

Not spending four cents to make a one cent coin may sound like a good idea at first but the President conveniently forgot to say what this means for the people. This is because the government hasn’t told anyone how to handle the billions of pennies already in circulation. Businesses across the US have been in shock. Without the penny, businesses face the terrifying prospect of rounding. Rounding to the nearest nickel is suggested but will make businesses lose their minds because they can't put “.99” at the end of everything and make it appear as though you are spending less money. So, businesses are forced to round to the nearest dime. However, more problems arise because not giving exact change is illegal in some states.

This change has also upset Abraham Lincoln fans who are upset coins with their idols face imprinted on them will be worthless.

The aftermath

The penny isn't the only circular piece of metal costing more than it’s worth. It costs 14 cents to make a nickel and almost 15 cents to make a quarter. Unlike the rest, the dime is an example of efficiency, it costs less than 6-7 cents to produce, making it the only coin in our currency that is actually worth something. As the U.S. enters this new era of rounding to the nearest dime meant to simplify things but will, Americans are incentivised to hoard their pennies. Now Americans are living in a country where your thoughts no longer cost a penny instead, they will cost a nickel, so your thoughts better be good.

Conclusion

In conclusion, impulsively killing the penny without any notice or explanation of what to do may have not been the best of ideas<ref>. Even though they are saving $56 million, it will do little to help the nation's national debt. Much like attempting to save the Titanic by bailing water with a teaspoon.

Sources

• Risa Weber "The U.S. Won't Be Making Any More Pennies — Here's Why, and What It Means for Americans" Distractify and MSN, November 12, 2025