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Today's featured article
It has been four decades since Sir Paul McCartney posed one of history's great philosophical questions: Why don't we do it in the road? At first, the question appeared unanswerable because it was too vague: what was "it"? Racquetball? Clinical trials? Driving? However, literary critics soon determined that McCartney was talking about sex, a determination that, when published, caused several elderly women to faint.
So, why don't we do it in the road? In the late '60s, technology and philosophy had not advanced to a point where a satisfactory answer to this question could be found. However, due to several breakthrough advances, we feel that we can confidently provide not one but several reasons that we do not do it in the road. (Full article...)
Did you know?
- ... that BET is dedicated to bringing quality entertainment to the masses? (Pictured)
- ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
- ... that the song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke?
- ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?
- ... that the A-bombs dropped on Japan were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize?
- ... that abstinence is only 99.999% effective?
- ... that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians?
- ... that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers?
In the news
- BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children (Pictured)
- Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers
- Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah
- Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland
- Angela Rayner defects to Reform UK
- Hollow Knight: Silksong gets released; Steam crashes for the second time this year
- Some mega pop star and her boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay.
- NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes
- Trump presents new science project to Cabinet
- Uncyclopedia introduces AI Age Guesser™, petition nears 100,000 signatures
- Trump fires Zakk Wylde
- Trump sends condolences to "Ozzie Nelson," "Paul Hogan," "Luigi Mangione"
- Epstein list predictions
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Hamas "peace talks" • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • SNL cast exodus • K-pop: The Movie • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys
Recent deaths: Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome • Tom Lehrer • The system • FUBAR • Cartoon Network on Comcast's basic cable package • Sydney Sweeney's new movie • Terence Stamp • The Devil's Rejects Unrated Director's Cut 4K (also Saw 2 & 3) • Trump's pet sloth • Joe Burrow's toe • Robert Redford
Upcoming deaths: DEI • R. Kelly and Bryan Kohberger (in jail) • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Dallas Cowboys' and Cincinnati Bengals' seasons • MSNBC • Lil Nas X • Donald Trump • Windows 10
On this day
September 25: Pastafarian New Year's Eve
- 75 BC - Julius Caesar assembles a small army to punish the prophet Mosey for ransoming him at too low a cost.
- 20 - God invents Grues to punish Jews who prosecuted Jesus.
- 879 - Vikings find the word "Viking" offensive. Change name to Berserkers.
- 1936 - The great prophet Barry Foster is killed by an unplugged electric model tram whilst convening a Burns supper; he is subsequently devoured by his guests as part of the main course.
- 2006 - You log on and view Uncyclopedia; millions die.
Picture of the day
Now showing at all good Middle-Eastern warzones near you! Image credit: Olipro |
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- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
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