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Today's featured article

Onward.jpg

Everyone is Hitler.

The undeniable and terrible truth of the universe. Look within yourself, Christopher, you know it to be true.

But it can't possibly be true can it? Please God, this can't be true. This can't be the way the world is; please I want to have faith in humanity.

But no. There is no use pleading, no use denying. The sooner you accept the truth the sooner the real work can begin. Only a weak man denies the plain and evident truth or lets his feelings distract him from the path of destiny. (Full article...)

Did you know?

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  • ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
  • ... that I am Batman?
  • ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
  • ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
  • ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?
  • ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
  • ... that the only thing money can't buy is poverty?

In the news

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"It's for the children's own good!"

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian InvasionGaza WarTrump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Superman and Super Dog's movie doing surprisingly well • Israel/Iran and Russia/Ukraine "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)

Recent deaths: Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael MadsenBill Cosby's TV sonBryan Kohberger's freedom • Ozzy OsbourneChuck MangioneHulk HoganResident AlienDown syndromeTom LehrerThe systemFUBAR

Upcoming deaths: DEIPittsburgh Steelers' locker room • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid GameMAGAJoe Biden's credibility • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Bryan Kohberger, at the hands of his fellow inmates

On this day

One can argue that the third Matrix movie was the best of the franchise, a daring yet clever subversion and synthesis of the Matrix's themes, a meditation on what it truly means for humanity to be free, when we have molded ourselves into machines far better than any robotic overlord could. Also, if you couldn't understand the Architect's speech on your first listen, you are a literal ingrate, and should perhaps read a book closer to your mental capacity, like "The Hungry Little Caterpillar" or "Everybody Poops."

August 7: Anniversary of the Day The Matrix Stopped Being Cool

  • 2003 - An adolescent who, for no reason at all, starts mimicking the slow-motion bullet dodge from the first Matrix film on a bus, is appalled to discover that his fellow passengers are not immediately breaking out in applause and high-fives, as is usual whenever any reference to The Matrix is made by anyone at any time.
  • 2004 - A suburban family, watching a toothpaste advertisement featuring characters in black leather doing kung-fu, lets out a bored sigh in complete unison.
  • 2005 - A stand-up comedian, beginning a joke with the words "You take the blue pill", is booed off-stage and has his car tires slashed.
  • 2006 - A man is kicked to death for saying "whoa" in a Keanu-esque fashion.
  • 2008 - Robert Mugabe becomes 44th President of the USA, announces that the Matrix "is totally not cool" and that people caught watching it "will be shot."
  • 2014 - The Matrix finally becomes cool again, for about three weeks until everyone gets to the third movie on their rewatch.
  • 2021 - They make a fourth Matrix movie, under the mistaken belief some of the love for John Wick will rub off on the movie by association.

Picture of the day

Modern Morris Minor
It is evident that the car has come a long way since its original cardboard chassis design.

Image credit: Hindleyite
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