User:Llwy-ar-lawr/Worst 100 Pick-Up Lines of All Time
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“I have nothing to declare but the fact that you should go out with me.”
– Oscar Wilde on Different chat up lines from different subjects
“Say as many as you can, as fast as you can. Don't stop for any reason.”
– Commander Zapp Brannigan on the utilization of pick-up lines
100-91[edit | edit source]
- 100
- "You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."
- 99
- "Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems, nice tits"
- 98
- Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"
- 97
- “You are almost as beautiful as my sister. But well, you know, that’s illegal."
- 96
- "Your eyes are like limpid pools of primordial ooze, and I am the protozoa that wish to swim in their depths."
- 95
- "You have a beautiful head. It would look marvelous next to the other ones in my freezer. "
- 94
- "Damn, you look good in beer goggles..."
- 93
- "Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"
- 92
- "You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."
- 91
- "How much will a 20 get me?”
90-81[edit | edit source]
- 90
- "Do you enjoy having sex with pitbulls, too?"
- 89
- "Oh my God! You look even hotter than when I saw you through your window!"
- 88
- "I'm (part) Native American. Would you like to see my totem pole?"
- 87
- "May I play motorboat?"
- 86
- "Screw me if I'm wrong, but is your name Iolanthe?"
- 85
- "Hey baby, wanna sharpen my pencil?"
- 84
- "Wanna play park the snake in the garage?"
- 83
- "How do you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled or fertilized?"
- 82
- "Don't make me rape you!"
- 81
- "I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"
80-71[edit | edit source]
- 80
- "I've lost my teddy bear! Can I sleep with you instead?"
- 79
- "Wanna take a ride in my truck? It's a Ford... it's exotic."
- 78
- "Are you taking any prescription medication?"
- 77
- "I'm a man! You're a woman! You do the math!"
- 76
- "You don't sweat much for a fat chick."
- 75
- "You might not be nine but I'll do you anyway
- 74
- "Wow, you look like Xena the Warrior Princess! Wanna date?"
- 73
- "Nice legs; what time do they open?"
- 72
- (in an Australian accent) "I want to fuck your bloody brains out."
- 71
- (in a British accent) "I want to fuck your bloody brains out."
70-61[edit | edit source]
- 70
- "Hey baby, want to socialize your means of reproduction?"
- 69
- "69's my favorite number. How 'bout you?"
- 68
- "Do you want what a 68 is? It's when you give me a blowjob and I owe you one."
- 67
- "I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition. In my pants."
- 66
- "Roses are red, violets are twisted. Ready or not. You're about to get fisted."
- 65
- "So what if you're on your period? A little blood never hurt nobody."
- 64
- "Hey my sweet bit of fried chicken! The name's Lee, Lee Hunton. If you like your prawns brutal, I'm your man!"
- 63
- "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK."
- 62
- "What's the worst I could do to you? Force my love into you?"
- 61
- "So, about the weather......."
60-51[edit | edit source]
- 60
- "Ish heav'n mishing a angel? Cuz... cuz... is heav'n mishn a... mishn a angel... yeah cuz... fuck it. C'mere suck my dick." <vomits>
- 59
- "The word of the day is legs. Let's go to your house and spread the word."
- 58
- "That shirt is very becoming on you. If I was on you, I'd be coming too."
- 57
- "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
- 56
- "Hello, and Welcome! You have reached (pause and different voice) Dick Johnson (original voice) female service number. If you are interested in vanilla sex, press 1 now. If you are interested in oral sex, press 2 now. If you are interested in anal sex, press 3 now. If you are interested in group sex, press 4 now. To repeat these choices, press 9 now. If your fetish is not listed here, or you are calling from a rotary phone, please stay on the line and a customer service rep will be with you shortly. Thank you for calling the (pause and different voice) Dick Johnson (original voice) female service number. (Muzak starts playing)"
- 55
- "Burger King isn't the only thing that is king-sized..."
- 54
- "Are you from the Netherlands? Because you are one big dyke!"
- 53
“Steve Johnson thinks that you're really hot and that you should sleep with him.”
– Oscar Wilde on that hot chick at the bar
- 52
- "Hey baby, I've got AIDS."
- 51
- "Mmmmmm.... flabwank."
50-41[edit | edit source]
- 50
- "Nice shoes, let's fuck."
- 49
- "That shirt would look great on my bedroom floor."
- 48
- "I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock."
- 47
- "I'm a pussy-fist... err, pacifist, that's what I meant."
- 46
- "I promise I won't videotape you in your sleep and sell the video on the Internet more than once."
- 45
- "IT'S A NIGGER!!! What? I wasn't being racist. I was just imitating Michael Richards. He is SO funny!
- 44
- "I'm going to have sex with you tonight, you might as well be there to enjoy it."
- 43
- "Hey pretty lady, I know Klingon, and tonight I'm going Klingon to you!"
- 42
- "So, how do you like 4th grade?"(this is also the ultimate question for The Answer to The Great Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything.)
- 41
- "You have a better body than my dead great-grandmother!"
40-31[edit | edit source]
- 40
- "You know, pants are a vestigial organ. Yours look infected."
- 39
- "I have a thing for amputees."
- 38
- "My favourite position is The Serial Killer."
- 37
- "Get out of your life and into my bed!"
- 36
- (Thick Arab accent) "Hello... My son likes you!"
- 35
- "Please, I am needing wife to get green card, but Immigration is wanting, how you say, proof of consummation."
- 34
- "I'm Batman."
- 33
- "Dammit, I creamed my trousers again!"
- 32
- "I have a rare tropical disease which will kill me unless I have sex within the next half hour."
- 31
- "Bet you 100 quid you can't turn me hetero."
30-21[edit | edit source]
- 30
- "You look just like a swan. You have skinny legs but a fat ass."
- 29
- "Breathe if you're horny.
- 28
- "Secret Service, ma'am. I need to do a full body cavity search. National security, you know."
- 27
- "Sorry, I thought this was the men's room. Still, while we're alone in here..."
- 26
- "You're like a fat stump, I'm always falling over you"
- 25
- "The doctor's pretty sure the antibiotics worked this time."
- 24
- "So what do ya say? Wanna love me? Or Raymond, like everybody else?"
- 23
- "If I had a dime for every time I tried to pick up a chick, I'd still be poor."
- 22
- "My friend use to hand out phone cards that said Smile if you're horny."
- 21
- "You're hotter than my daughter."
20-11[edit | edit source]
'Numbers 20 through 11 are too disturbing to put on this list.
10-1[edit | edit source]
- 9
- "My magical watch says you don't know who I am..."
- 8
- "You have 206 bones in your body. Want one more?"
- 7
- "I'll give you a nickel to tickle my pickle. to suck itself."
- 6
- "Do you want to do the Calcutta Steamer with me?"
- 5
- "Do you got an easy-bake oven? Because I want to put a cake or two into yours."
- 4
- "I'm a Wookieepedia reader and contributor."
- 3
- "I'm an Uncyclopedia reader and contributor."
- 2
- "I'm a Wikipedia reader and contributor."
- 1
- "I'm the biggest lady-killer in Buffalo since O.J. Simpson."