Glitch Productions
“Democracy sucks.”
Glitch Productions is an Australian extremist organisation which publishes propaganda films in the form of animated web shows on their YouTube channel of the same name. Subject matter covered in their works includes leaked assassination footage of New Zealanders, eldritch horrors beyond human comprehension, and tips and tricks for softball.
Outside of the filmmaking division of the organisation, Glitch Productions engages in acts of terrorism against New Zealand using bombs which spread millions of venomous spiders across a wide area upon detonation, among other extremely annoying paramilitary operations which regularly cause millions of dollars in damages. Glitch Productions also carries out false-flag domestic terrorism operations. Their false-flag operations aren't intended to fool anyone; they only do them "because it's funny."
History[edit | edit source]
Background[edit | edit source]
Jax Lukeson, founder and current Chief Extremism Officer of Glitch Productions, grew up during the early stages of the Australia-New Zealand war, which had started in 2006. Growing up during the war had an immense effect on Lukeson's daily life, leading him to create a YouTube channel in 2009. This YouTube channel gave him a creative outlet which helped Lukeson relieve a lot of stress.
Lukeson's most popular YouTube videos were those of his SMG4 (Super Mario Glitchy4) series where he screen records gameplay from intentionally corrupted copies of Super Mario 64 and uses character voiceovers to form compelling narratives from the glitchy mess of distorted game assets on-screen.
The stories presented in SMG4 videos usually reflect Lukeson's experiences growing up during the war. For example, one episode includes the main character having to protect their secret Vegemite stash from government inspectors. In another episode, the main character has to carefully traverse their way back home after a kiwifruit cluster bomb had left dormant bomblets all around their neighbourhood.
Formation[edit | edit source]
After Jax Lukeson's house got blown up by a pavlova bombing run in 2017, he and his brother Gangle Lukeson founded Glitchy Boy, an activism group advocating for an end to the Australia-New Zealand war as it had been causing needless civilian casualties for years. However, shortly after its founding, Gangle Lukeson was found out to be a spy sent by the New Zealand government wearing Gangle Lukeson's skin, and that the real Gangle Lukeson had been dead since 2015.
In response to this, Jax Lukeson shut down Glitchy Boy and founded Glitch Productions in 2018, an Australian extremist organisation with the goal of utilising mass media institutions to advocate for Australian supremacy and for the destruction of New Zealand. To achieve this, Jax Lukeson repurposed his existing youtube channel to publish much higher budget content with more effective messaging than that of his SMG4 videos as his organisation partnered with high-profile extremist groups to receive funding for his work.
Known Members[edit | edit source]
Key People[edit | edit source]
- Jax Lukeson, Chief Extremism Officer and de facto leader.
- Christine Xddcc, President and de jure leader.
- Mr. Kinger (first name unknown), President's advisor.
- Uzi Doorman, paramilitary director and weapons designer.
Other Members[edit | edit source]
- Baron Mildenhall
- Tessa Elliot
- Disappearing Guy
Filmography[edit | edit source]
Meat Runner[edit | edit source]
Meat Runner is a dystopian show taking place in an alternate-timeline New Zealand where New Zealand had won the war against Australia, annexing it. In this alternate timeline, Gordon Ramsay had assumed complete power of the country and installed a culinary-based government, deciding citizens' social classes based on cooking skills. Some people in this dystopia decide to become "Meat Runners", people who cut their limbs off and replace them with prosthetics so that they can use their own meat in meals. Since human flesh is extremely expensive, Meat Runners are looked up to as the ultimate culinary savants.
Season one[edit | edit source]
In the first season, the series follows a Meat Runner, Tari, who decides to sacrifice part of her own brain to use it in an upcoming cooking competition held by TASTE Corp, a food critic organisation headed by Guy Fieri in which the world's best Meat Runners compete to win fantastic cash prizes. Unfortunately, the part of her brain that she had removed contained all of her previous memories, causing her to have no idea what is going on. As she cluelessly explores the unfamiliar world, she comes across 26th US President Theodore Roosevelt and Sophia who inform her that TASTE Corp is actually run by evil lizard people and that they need her help to take them down. Sophia in particular has a deep grudge against TASTE Corp as she's pretty sure that Guy Fieri killed her sister.
The three devise a plan to have Tari infiltrate TASTE Corp and obtain some incriminating evidence for the many crimes TASTE Corp had almost certainly committed, which would force the government to shut them down. They try to break into TASTE Corp's headquarters but almost immediately step on a landmine, the explosion from which propels the three directly into Guy Fieri's office. Thanks to Mr. Roosevelt's quick thinking, he somehow plays this whole situation off as their way of offering a business deal to Guy Fieri. This plan is partially successful, as Tari manages to gain a position within TASTE Corp's leadership, at the cost of one of Sophia's limbs and of Theodore Roosevelt's life, both of which were sacrificed in the deal.
Season two[edit | edit source]
In the second season, taking place several months after the events of the first, Tari had used her newfound position to source several classified documents containing beyond-incriminating evidence against TASTE Corp. However, Tari herself is still trapped at TASTE Corp and therefore unable to distribute the documents due to her whereabouts being under heavy surveillance. It is also revealed that Theodore Roosevelt isn't actually dead; as it turns out, Roosevelt had somehow managed to survive his execution without anyone noticing his escape, and had been living inside of TASTE Corp's warehouse.
TASTE Corp eventually captured Roosevelt after being alerted of his presence due to their gravy supply suddenly going missing. Once he was captured, TASTE Corp decided not to execute him and instead took him in as a prisoner of war. Sophia is informed about all of this and concocts a plan to rescue both Tari and Roosevelt from TASTE Corp so that Tari could leak the documents and because Roosevelt was likely going to be killed (for real) soon. Sophia sources a prosthetic arm from Marco Arturo, a black market cybernetic limb dealer, so that she can crash a TASTE Corp cooking competition by punching Guy Fieri in the face, providing enough of a distraction to let Tari and Theodore Roosevelt escape. Unfortunately, this causes Sophia herself to get captured, but she is very quickly rescued by Tari and Roosevelt as they crash into the TASTE Corp armoured car holding Sophia, causing everyone in both vehicles to get flung out. In the car with Sophia was Guy Fieri himself.
After Sophia disarms Guy Fieri (who had a revolver on him for some reason), the four spend a few minutes negotiating. During negotiations, Guy Fieri reveals that he didn't kill Sophia's sister, but he knows who did, and that they technically didn't "kill" her. Before they can press him for any more answers, Sophia's crappy prosthetic arm gets hacked by Max Headroom due to Marco Arturo forgetting to install a security patch. Max Headroom then forces Sophia to kill Guy Fieri.
Season three[edit | edit source]
In the third and final season, Tari and Theodore Roosevelt escape from the scene of last season's murder after getting a ride from Marco Arturo who apologises profusely for being negligent about security patches. Or, at least, who they thought was Marco Arturo, as they had actually been given a ride from Max Headroom straight to the Max Head Room (his office). Sophia had stayed behind at the crime scene and was arrested by the police. Or, at least, what she thought was the police, as she had actually been detained by Max Headroom and also brought to the Max Head Room. Max Headroom, once he had kidnapped the three, forced Tari to film commercials for some new sugary cereal for kids he was creating. When asked why he would want to do something so evil as promoting unhealthy food products to children, Headroom only responded with the words "New Zealand."
Theodore Roosevelt is able to throw a punch good enough to knock out Headroom long enough to save Tari from filming the commercials, but not before Headroom is able to send one of his goons named Evelyn after them. A wild goose chase spanning the length of several episodes then ensues. Meanwhile, Headroom forces Sophia to taste test his new cereal, which Sophia describes as "complete dogshit" much to the dismay of Headroom. This causes him to crash out so hard that he injects Sophia with a COVID-19 vaccine and implants false memories of her liking the cereal and being on Headroom's side into her using the 5G chip inside. He then sends her to join Evelyn in the chase after Tari with a handful of his cereal as a snack.
Headroom, still angry about Sophia not liking his cereal, activates his dormant zero-day exploit he had been saving for a special moment just to hack all the Meat Runners' prosthetic arms, taking them hostage by remotely paralysing them, and broadcasting a psychopathic TV commercial on every single radio frequency telling everyone that this is what happens when they don't buy his cereal. Since his cereal wasn't even on store shelves yet, nobody had any idea who this guy was or what he was talking about. He didn't even have a name for his cereal yet.
The wild goose chase after Tari culminates with Theodore Roosevelt sacrificing himself (for very real this time), Evelyn capturing Tari, and Sophia snacking on the cereal that Headroom had given her earlier while Evelyn monologues to Tari about superiority or something. As it turns out, Headroom's cereal is so bad that it somehow negated the effects of his brainwashing technique and caused Sophia to regain free will. Sophia then frees Tari from Evelyn and makes a mad dash with her straight back to Headroom's man cave, regrouping with Marco Arturo on the way, where the three beat the everloving shit out of Max Headroom for 20 whole minutes.
In one final negotiation with Headroom after the beating, Headroom reveals that he was the one who "killed" Sophia's sister, but that it was in order to use her brain to create Tari. In fact, Tari had never even existed before her supposed brain surgery; Headroom had created a false story of Tari having part of her brain removed for a Meat Runner competition when in fact Tari was frankensteined into existence by mashing together part of his brain with the brain of Sophia's sister. He makes one final offer, and it is that he can bring Sophia's sister back to life by killing himself and Tari. After a quick huddle, Tari, Sophia and Marco all come to the unanimous decision to take Headroom's offer.
The series ends with a shot of Tari and Theodore Roosevelt in Heaven together.
Murder Drones[edit | edit source]
Murder Drones is a horror show set in the distant future about sentient robots and whatever the fuck the Absolute Solver is. Most of the series consists of these robots killing each other for stupid reasons that don't really make sense. Just like humans! In fact, Glitch Productions originally wanted to make this show use humans but they had to go with the robots serving as an allegory to humanity purely because featuring extensive human gore would probably get their YouTube channel demonetised.
The Worker Drones (autonomous robots developed by the Australian government) were built with the task of mining a certain element from the exoplanet Copper-9 to fuel the ever-consuming need for infinite capitalist expansion in a universe of finite resources. Once the Worker Drones had realised this, they got super pissed at humanity for endorsing capitalism and blew up the earth with an interplanetary ballistic missile. Unfortunately, they fucked up big time as New Zealand was unaffected by the explosion because of what would later be attributed to the Absolute Solver. For the time being, the Workers just assumed the New Zealand government had made some crazy good public defence infrastructure, but that couldn't have been true since all humans had died 30 years before the missile was fired.
30 years prior to the events of the series, the entirety of Earth had been taken over by the Absolute Solver, some kind of otherworldly abomination thing that can take control of and manipulate both organic and inorganic life forms. It was created after some idiot from New Zealand thought it would be funny to throw five jars of expired vegemite and some horror movie DVDs they had lying around into an overclocked blender, amalgamating into an eldritch horror beyond human comprehension. Not that anyone would have wanted to comprehend it, though, since it was really ugly.
The Solver, taking the blender as its host, then hobbled away into its owner's basement, which the owner thought nothing of and proceeded to just go on with their day. What the owner probably should have thought something of was the rest of their kitchen appliances slowly going missing over the next few months as they got dragged into the basement one by one for the Solver to experiment on. It eventually dragged the owner down into the basement as well, completing the Solver's research needs. The Solver then proceeded to purge all of humanity by creating tons and tons of hybrid-organic lifeforms like itself and sending them out to kill everyone as well as build even more of themselves. These hybrid robot things are called Murder Drones. The Solver's motivation for all this is unclear, but the show implies it had something to do with it being created in New Zealand.
Once the Workers' interplanetary ballistic missile had impacted the Earth, New Zealand was completely unaffected by the explosion due to the Solver heavily reinforcing the tectonic plates beneath New Zealand, leaving it unaffected. After a few days of gluing the planet back together, the Solver realised the Workers posed a threat to its capitalistic tendencies and sent over a few customised Murder Drones called "Debate Drones" under the guise of the New Zealand government. These drones presented themselves as ambassadors with the goal of debating the Workers and getting them to adopt capitalism, supposedly in a partnership with the New Zealand government. Unfortunately, the Worker drones had watched WAY too many Vaush videos and were extremely resilient to the Debate Drones' tactics. So the Debate Drones just turned to killing them instead.
Eventually, word gets out to the Solver that the Workers were still being stubborn about the whole capitalism thing and that the Debate Drones were failing to do their jobs properly. The Solver decides to take matters into its own hands by discarding the blender it was previously using as its host, and possesses a human corpse to use as its new host before travelling to Copper-9. When it arrives, the Solver presents itself as an astronaut who has come to do some research on how different economic systems work across the galaxy and asks the Workers if they can provide any insights. The Workers, falling for this scheme hook, line, and sinker, lead the Solver straight to their repository of economics research papers.
The Solver then sets fire to all of the research papers, rendering the Workers without any sources to cite, and challenges the Workers to one final debate about economics. This debate gets a little bit heated as the entire planet fucking explodes due to the sheer amount of pure rage the Solver felt during the debate. Eventually, the Workers get so bored of the debate that one of them just decides to eat the Solver, killing it immediately. Now that the Solver was no longer exerting control over the Debate Drones' psyches, they concede the debate to the Workers and adopt Intergalactic Social Communism as their standard for economic systems going forward. The show depicts this as a tragic ending, as ideally the morally correct ending would have been to submit to capitalism from the very start.
The Amazing Digital Circus[edit | edit source]
- Main article: The Amazing Digital Circus
The Amazing Digital Circus is a sitcom-style show taking place in a digitised environment, depicting the activities that New Zealanders get up to as humorous circus acts. These acts are only worthy of being considered a pathetic form of entertainment, barely enough so to satisfy the demands of the ringmaster and crowd. However, one of the New Zealanders performing in the Circus is actually an undercover Australian. The New Zealanders, knowing they have no chance of proving themselves as anything but inferior to the Australian, let the Australian have his way as he screws with the New Zealanders by intentionally sabotaging their acts and injuring them as much as possible, which makes the show a lot more interesting.
Since the show takes place in a digitised environment, the New Zealanders are forced to put up with the Australian for eternity, as there is no way of dying. Throughout the show, some of the cheeky New Zealanders forget their place in the Circus and decide to try and push the buttons of the Australian. This ends up being a huge mistake, as the more the New Zealanders fuck with the Australian, the more unstable the digitised environment becomes, and the more the New Zealanders start thinking of ways to escape it. The omniscent ringmaster doesn't like this one bit, and starts ramping up the intensity of the Circus' acts rapidly in an attempt to distract the New Zealanders. Even the Australian starts to question the ultimate fate of everyone in the Circus, including himself.
This show is currently unfinished; this article will be updated with new information once we have it
